Avoidance (10 pages in pdf format) by James Barron
A socially awkward man goes to epic lengths to avoid having a conversation
Someone is following you. You hear the pitter patter of footsteps directly behind you. What to do? Quickly, you move into a crowd. Did you lose them? Nope, they’re still on your tail. The panic begins to set in. Is it a serial killer? A monster? Worse… it’s an annoying girl you used to know in high school!
This is the situation that Drew and his best friend Pat face in Avoidance, a great bro-comedy written by talented scribe James Barron. But they’re not being chased by just any girl, as Drew says:
DREW
She’s hunting us. She’s the Predator.
PAT
Stop saying she’s the Predator!
She may not be the Predator, but there’s seemingly no escape. After Drew spies Lidia, the somebody that he used to know (musical reference for ya), he freaks out and drags Pat along for the ride. Everywhere they try to hide (restaurant, crowd, alleyway), Lidia magically follows. What does she want? Has she seen them? Will Drew be forced to have an actual conversation with her? (gasp!)
Laugh out loud dialogue with a great ending punch, this one is perfect for a director looking to make a humorous Hangover-esque short about something we’ve all experienced: the attempt to avoid an uncomfortable (or boring, as the case may be) rendezvous.
Budget: Medium – only two actors with dialogue, but you need a Lidia to follow them, so three actors total. Several locations (restaurant, alleyway, streets) and several crowd scenes. A cunning director with an eye on the budget could probably make this on the cheap, but, as written, it may take a little cash to tell this story right.
About the writer: James loves to write comedy and action along with the occasional horror short. You can reach him at jbarron021 (a) gmail.
Read Advoidance
This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
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About the reviewer: Mitch Smith is an award winning screenwriter who offers notes, script editing and phone consultations. Follow him on twitter @MitchScripts, or email him at Mitch.SmithScripts (a) gmail.
3 Comments so far
1.
Waleed Zein
June 1st, 2016 at 9:53 pm
I thoroughly enjoyed the pacing. You can actually feel the build up as you read through it. Great job!
2.
MarkItZero
June 2nd, 2016 at 9:03 am
Thank you!
3.
KP Mackie
June 2nd, 2016 at 10:44 pm
A terrific story. So funny.
Talk about pacing — Raced through it in no time dying to know what was going to happen next.
Could envision it all unfolding. Someone needs to grab this one. It’ll look great onscreen.
Well done! 🙂