Boyarski Dance by D.W. Smith
Akar’s been abducted just hours before his wedding. Will he make it to the temple on time?
Wedding days can be stressful; dealing with millions of crucial, pesky details. The last thing one needs is to be abducted – only hours before you take your vows.
Yet that’s exactly the predicament Akar, the protagonist of D.W. Smith’s Boyarski Dance, unfortunately finds himself in.
For the life of him, Akar can’t comprehend what’s tossed him in such dire straits – hooded and tied to a chair. His captors demand he confess. But Akar has no clue what they’re talking about. How could an innocent such as him cause anyone to be upset?
The terrified groom-to-be pleads with the two anonymous men looming over him – dressed in black jumpsuits and goggles. But his kidnappers won’t divulge any information. They’re too busy bickering amongst themselves:
How do you know you didn’t do it if
you keep saying you don’t know what
it is that you did when it was did.
What he done.
That’s what I asked.
No you didn’t. You said “When it
You grading on a curve?
You’d still fail.
(Shtarker 1 grabs his crotch.)
Real adult, ya putz.
Shtarker 2 smacks Shtarker 1 on the back of the head.
It’s a Three Stooges schtick, personified.
As his torment drags on, Akar increasingly despairs. His tormentors accuse him of snitching – about what? So, Akar continues to plead for mercy… Especially after they whip the torture implements out, and wave them in his horrified face.
Leaving one essential question: is Akar a lowly snitch? Or the mensch he claims to be? This day was supposed to be the happiest of Akar’s life. Now will it be… the last?
Audiences won’t believe how this story unfolds. You’ll be laughing so hard, you’ll plotz.
Budget: Low. Three actors (with great comedic timing) and a “sinister” looking room – that’s it!
About the writer: D.W. Smith life’s goal was to leave something for his granddaughter to read after he was gone. During his 2010 tour in Iraq, while he was in a bunker under attack, that he started to write. Luckily he made it out alive, retired from the Military and has now published two books – Asim: Servant of Two Masters and Refuge. He is currently working on a full feature script along with other short scripts. He can be contacted at DannyNIraq (a) hotmail.
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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
About the Reviewer: Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She always has loved to write, but only recently has begun work on screenplays. She can be reached at: Cottle54321 (a) Gmail.