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Thursday, November 16, 2017

Touché – Short Script Review, Available for Production - posted by Guest Reviewer

Touché (12 pages in pdf format) by David Lambertson

A young man discovers that the only cure for his phobia is vengeance.

Averse to being touched, Nathan lives his life, avoiding people. He manages fine, all before he falls in love. Now, Nathan is looking for a cure. The treatment lies in forgiveness, his doctor tells him. To be cured, Nathan has to find a way to forgive the one who gave him the scare of being touched.

Characters – 1 main, 3 episodical
Location – 4 – trailer park, trailer, church, Burger-King joint, church.

About the writer: David Lambertson is an multi-award-winning writer who can be reached at dlambertson (a) hotmail.com. Check out his screenwriting works on his website. Dave also pisses excellence.


This is an October 2017 One Week Challenge is a short. The OWC is a screenwriting exercise wherein writers are given a week to write a short script on the theme and genre provided. These are quickly done and may be a little rough around the edges considering the short time frame in which they are written.

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Azerbaijani mother and wife, Khamanna Iskandarova has been living in the US for most of her life. She has several features completed, as well as a dozen shorts, some of which have been independently produced. Khamanna can be reached at khamanna (a) hotmail. Check out her IMDB Creds

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Living Nightmare – Short Script Review, Available for Production - posted by Don

Living Nightmare (10 pages in pdf format) by Warren Duncan

A woman with severe Insomnia finally gets some rest, but it comes with horrific consequences.

Two identical twins, Jemma and Cassie, used to be inseparable. One day Jemma leaves without a notice. Everything goes downhill since then. Cassie develops severe insomnia that wouldn’t let go. Her doctor finally finds a cure – now Cassie can fall asleep and see Jemma in her dreams all she wants.

Characters – 2 main, 1 episodical
Location – 3 – 2 houses, doctor’s office

About the Writer: Warren Duncan is a multi produced writer from Australia. He has email and can be reached at Warren_Duncan (a) hotmail.com. He has a website where you can find his screenplays.


This is an October 2017 One Week Challenge is a short. The OWC is a screenwriting exercise wherein writers are given a week to write a short script on the theme and genre provided. These are quickly done and may be a little rough around the edges considering the short time frame in which they are written.

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Khamanna Iskandarova has several features completed, as well as a dozen shorts, some of which have been independently produced. Khamanna can be reached at khamanna (a) hotmail. Check out her IMDB Creds.

Friday, November 10, 2017

Damn Your Eyes – Short Script Review, Available for Production - posted by Guest Reviewer

Damn Your Eyes (9 pages in pds format) by Steve Miles

A scopophobic recluse finds his quest for answers takes him closer to the truth than he ever expected…

Damn Your Eyes is a quirky tale about Brookes, a young man living under the constant scrutiny of neighbors. Brookes is onto them. He watches them right back. One day he realizes that it’s not about the neighbors watching him, but another unknown force that sees everything and everyone around him.

Characters – 1 main, 2 extras
Location – 1 – house
Prop – telescope

About the writer: Steve Miles is an award-winning writer who can be reached at stevemiles80 (a) yahoo.co.uk. Please check out his wonderful works here: SJMilesScripts.webs.com.


This is an October 2017 One Week Challenge is a short. The OWC is a screenwriting exercise wherein writers are given a week to write a short script on the theme and genre provided. These are quickly done and may be a little rough around the edges considering the short time frame in which they are written.

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Khamanna Iskandarova has several features completed, as well as a dozen shorts, some of which were produced by independent producers. Khamanna can be reached at khamanna “AT” hotmail. Check out her IMDB Creds

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

The October 2017 Writer’s Choice is… - posted by Don

Brown Water (8 pages in pdf format) by Dena McKinnon

What if the only thing you were scared of was the only thing that could save you?

Brown Water is a fascinating little tale set in a rural place near a swamp. Something is up with the swamp that gives little Tadpole a sickening fear of water. Her mother used to say the brown water is not cursed, but blessed and it takes the evil away. Day after day Tadpole comes to the swamp and watches the water in attempt to understand what evil her mother was talking about.

Characters – 2 main, 4 episodically, a few extras
Locations – 4 – swamp, church, cabin, road.
Prop – canoe

About the writer: Dena McKinnon is a talented writer with a number of produced shorts under her belt. Check out Dena’s IMDB credits and website at DenaMcKinnon.com.

About the reviewer: Khamanna Iskandarova is a dedicated mother and wife. She was born and raised in Azerbaijan, a small country at the shores of the Caspian Sea, but she has been living in the US for the most part of her life. She has several features completed, as well as a dozen shorts, some of which were produced by independent productions. Khamanna can be reached at khamanna “AT” hotmail. Check out her IMDB Creds

The October 2017 One Week Challenge is a short screenwriting exercise wherein writers are given a week to write a short script on the theme and genre provided. These are quickly done and may be a little rough around the edges considering the short time frame in which they are written.

Huge thanks to ScriptWax.Com: Scriptwax Table Reads provides a team of talented voice actors to bring your screenplay to life, so you can hear what works and what doesn’t!

Note: This audio recording is released under a Creative Commons, attribution, noncommercial, no derivatives 3.0 license. You can share the audio recording in its entirety, but you can’t change it or sell it.

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Man’s Best Friend – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by LC

Man’s Best Friend by Steven Clark

Three days after a couple’s beloved dog goes missing, a phone call arrives that will change the game. Forever.

Put aside whether you’re a dog person or cat person just for a moment and focus on the incomparable talents of Man’s Best Friend, and why mutts have earned this most eminent title.

Ready…?

Guide dogs, guard dogs, sniffer dogs, therapy dogs, herding, hunting, tracking and cadaver dogs, bomb, drug, and chemical detection dogs; dogs of war, dogs who can sniff out cancer – dogs who rescue their owners from burning buildings and rolling rapids… And that’s just to name a few of their talents. Add to that, unconditional loyalty and love, goopy grins, sloppy kisses and perennially wagging tails, and really – the ‘elegant tramp’, (as one of my friends labels felines), is really not much competition, now is it?

From Rin-Tin-Tin and Lassie to the memorably cute but a lil’ fugly Verdell in As Good As It Gets, it’s no wonder dogs have an illustrious celluloid history, in both leading roles and as sidekicks.

Okay, now picture this:

You’re wandering down the street, minding your own business, and you look up to see MISSING, LOST DOG, or REWARD, stamped across a poster and nailed to a telegraph pole. Typically a photo of said AWOL pooch looks dolefully and adorably into the camera. Aww, so sad, and guaranteed to tug at the ol’ heartstrings.

This is also the opening scene of Steven Clark’s screenplay, Man’s Best Friend.

But hang on now, cause if you’re thinking this is going to be a cute fluffy-dog piece think again. Curt and Cassie, a couple in their thirties (he’s a cop btw) have just received a rather ominous telephone call and discovered there’s a bounty to be paid on Ranger, their missing ‘family member’ – and a rather hefty ransom demand.

            MAN (V.O.)
We have your dog. …
He’s got nice teeth. But I’ve got
pliers. … $10,000 dollars for the
mutt. Cash. Or I start playing dentist.

Eww! Marathon Dog, anyone?

To say anything further would spoil the fun, the suspense, and the very, very, dark twists and turns of this piece. Suffice to say this tail (sorry, tale) is less for lovers of Marley And Me , and more for fans of teeth baring, and snarling Cujo, and Seven Psychopaths.

Dare I say, if you’ve got a nose for talent you can call off your search right now cause with Man’s Best Friend you’ll definitely be barking up the right tree.

Budget: Low. Just – make sure you do this one right… every beat!

About the writer: Based in upstate, NY, Steven Clark is the writer of over 30 short scripts, several of which are under option, in pre-production, or have already been made into films. On A Clear Night, a family Christmas feature aimed at a Hallmark Channel-type audience, is currently in the works. Steven can be reached at Steamroller138 (a) gmail.

Read Man’s Best Friend (10 pages in PDF format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Violent Domestic – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by Guest Reviewer

Violent Domestic by Kirk White

While hiding out from a double-crossing son of a bitch, an outlaw couple faces their greatest fear…waiting for the results of a home pregnancy test.

“If that test is positive, then I’m scared shitless because this is the part that terrifies me… no… not the ‘is it gonna work’ because I can’t control that… but the ‘how does one raise a human being’ aspect which is one hundred percent in our court. That, my love, is the kick in the nuts that keeps me up at night.”

As a father of three I can relate to this dialogue, spoken in Violent Domestic by protagonist Ted. It’s a sentiment voiced by many men, moments after their wife pees on a stick. It’s one of those defining moments in a man’s life – the potential beginning of his legacy. Damned nerved wracking, is what it is – the entirety of one’s future resting on whether there’s one or two lines on that gizmo bought at CVS. If you’ve never found yourself teetering on that particular line of insanity, you have no idea what you’re missing.

And our hero Ted’s in those sniper-sights. As the script opens, Helen’s holed up in a hotel bathroom.

As the obligatory three minutes count down, the couple debate the issue pro and con. A nervous Ted distracts himself with busy work, pulling C-4, guns and money from a bag. Yeah, that’s right. I said C-4. ‘Cause there’s one last detail:

Our lovebirds are two badass thieves, hot off a job gone askew. It’s Kill Bill meets Mr. & Mrs. Smith – with a dose of Parenthood! Like a real life Billy Joe and Bobby Sue*, they’re planning on taking the money and run: a modern day Bonnie and Clyde!

Only it’s not Frank Hamer they’re hiding from. Nope, there’s a particular “Grease Stain in a Suit” named Conn outside. He’s come to collect his cut, no matter what price the couple must pay. Ted negotiates through the window with Conn… stalling until he can hear Helen’s news. Ted and Helen are the ultimate bad “nice guys” – a helluva more sympathetic than Conn. They’re a pair you can’t help but cheer for. And the danger and stakes are sky-high.

A master of his craft, Kirk White weaves Domestic’s dialogue seamlessly. A touch of humor – lots of danger, and protagonists that really breathe. It’s one of those scripts that make you want to know what happens next. Because you love these guys. That’s what happens when a script’s done right. It takes a lot of practice to get to that stage. But when a writer does – the story truly comes alive. (Question is, will Ted and Helen make it out in one piece?)

Brass Tax: this script’s got the goods. Low on budget. High on character. A feel-good action piece with minimal logistics. You want a short that audiences will remember and talk about? Then this is the short for you.

*If you listen to the Steve Miller Band while reading this short, your proposal email to the author will write itself.

About the writer: Kirk White is an independent film maker, web sen”sation” and figure of note in the world of global logistics. He is currently in pre-production on his second feature, The Soul Garden, which will basically be the art-house version of Re-Animator. Kirk can be reached emailed at quitefilm “AT” gmail to request a copy of his work.

Budget: Moderate. Get a hotel room, two damned good actors, and a few props. The rest will handle itself.

Read Domestic Violence (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Rod Thompson is an award winning screenwriter of both features and shorts. His feature, “The Squire” won Best Drama for the 2014 Table Read My Screenplay contest, and he has placed numerous times for his shorts at MoviePoet.com. His short scripts “Gimme Shelter” and “A Memory in Winter” have both been optioned through their exposure on SimplyScripts.com. He is also “the most humble man alive.”

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Sons And Broken Noses – Short Script Review – Optioned - posted by LC

This from Damien

[T]he Screenplay you featured “Sons & Broken Noses” has been optioned and filming will begin in December… It also won the Best Neo Noir screenplay at the recent Humphrey Bogart Film Festival in Miami.

If you wish to contribute to funding to get this made, I’m sure every bit will help.

Below is the review of Sons & Broken Noses written by LC


SONS & BROKEN NOSES

Nobody ever tells you there will be days like this.

Ah, the Emerald Isle, land of saints, scholars, and born story tellers. Resplendent in all its greenery and rich with its history of literary giants – James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, Jonathan Swift, to name a few.

No big surprise then that Ireland also boasts its unique brand of inimitable screenwriters and filmmakers. Classics such as: In The Name Of The Father, The Wind That Shakes The Barley, My Left Foot, and crowd pleasers: The Commitments, The Guard, In Bruges, Once.

2016 was a bumper year for the Irish Film Industry and screenwriters continue to make an indelible mark, particularly writers of hard-boiled crime, with an edge and flair for black comedy. You could say they’re making a killing.

Damien Michael Aulsberry continues this tradition in fine form with his short screenplay: Sons & Broken Noses. Opening with a shot of a car boot slamming and a bloodied hand, this ominous sign sets the tone for what’s to follow.

We meet JAKE KELLY and SEAN BARRY, two bumbling wannabe bank robbers peeling down a lonely country road, one of them with a bullet wound sustained at the hand of the other. You guessed it, things have not gone according to plan. In fact they’ve gone quite a bit pear shaped.

Who thwarted their plans for the perfect bank heist? None other than: skinny runt, seventeen year old, GABRIEL, on work experience with said bank. With the cops now hot on their heels and running around the arse-end of nowhere, the heat’s just been turned up to red-hot for these two after discovering the lad they’ve just hurled into the back of the boot is none other than the son of Irish mob-boss, MICK RONAN.

Oh, dear. An apology is definitely in order, wouldn’t you say?

Followed by some heavy duty groveling, and bargaining for their lives, especially when one of them has broken the young lad’s nose, or more aptly: spread his nose all over his face.

Seems one of these guys is going to have to take the fall.

            SEAN
We messed up Mick. And we’re sorry.
       (beat)
What if I kneecap him? Paramilitary
style, no fucking around.

  Mick takes a long time to contemplate. Eventually…

            MICK (V.O.)
Won’t work Sean. Sets a precedent.
Then everyone will be looking to
get kneecapped instead of whacked.
We’d have complete fucking chaos.
Lads hobbling round all over the
place.

Then there’s that little dilemma of returning mob-boss’s son to the fold and getting away unscathed.

With its great visuals, bang on dialogue, and perfectly balanced humour,  Sons & Broken Noses is a quirky, comedically irreverent crime drama.

Filmmakers: You don’t need the luck of the Irish to make a good fist of this one. At the time of writing this review, Sons & Broken Noses had already reached the Finals of the Southern California Screenplay contest, so it’s already got winner written all over it.

Our advice: Put down that pint of Guinness, get down from your bar stool, and head for the nearest camera, before some other lucky lads beat you to it.

There’s no denying, this one’s good craic.

Be a crime not to do it justice.

 

Production: Low to Medium Budget: Three hard-faced crim types with talent to match, a plucky ‘teen’ willing to have his nose broken (just kidding, Method acting is not required), and a couple of intimidating heavies (no dialogue) to complete the background.

Borrow a car, if you don’t have your own, mix up some faux blood, hit the road and film some blokes out in the middle of nowhere. Add a couple of other locations – barn, diner, and house, and you’re good to go.

About the Writer: “I write for therapeutic reasons. If I didn’t get all the mad shit out of me head, I’d be a lunatic… Currently in Post-Production of a short I wrote called “Family Business”. Directed by Oisin Woods and starring Bosco Hogan, Paul Ronan, Karl Shiels, Anthony Morris and Bern Deegan. This short, “Sons and Broken Noses”, was a Finalist and Honorable Mention in The South California Screenplay Competition 2017.”

About the Reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Read Sons & Broken Noses (22 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Hitman’s Retirement Party – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by LC

The Hitman’s Retirement Party by John Hunter

Retiring is never easy…

A crim’, a clown, and a cat walk into a bar…

Sounds like the opening gambit of a joke, doesn’t it? But there is no bar, and delightfully these three characters are the headlining cast of John Hunter’s screenplay, The Hitman’s Retirement Party.

A rather gruesome opening scene introduces us to titular character – Bill, 60s, balding, glasses, – an ordinary looking Joe Blow, who if you met him on the street, he’d easily pass for an accountant, a bank manager, even a local handyman. But Bill’s anything but what he appears to be. Fact is, he’s a cold calculating killer, fast, methodical, deadly. At the front door of a mark’s house he takes out a small caliber pistol, pops the guy unceremoniously twice – a bullet in the eye, one to the head, one final parting shot to the temple for good measure. As Bill says: It’s nothing personal…

It’s just all in a day’s work. After forty years on the job however, Bill’s decided it’s time to hang up his holster for the last time. A quick call to management to inform them. Now it’s time to kick back and enjoy the spoils of retirement with his loyal sidekick, Buddy.

Buddy is Bill’s best friend, he’s been there for Bill through thick and thin. He’s the one Bill comes home to every night. You might say he’s his soft place to fall – always eager and happy to see his best mate, Bill.

As with all great sidekicks Buddy is the silent type, but don’t be fooled, there’s usually a lot going on – think: Jay and Silent Bob, Penn and Teller, Han and Chewie, The Chief and McMurphy.

There’s just one thing though… Buddy’s a cat. A meow, perhaps an affectionate coil around the legs, is likely about all you’ll get. Despite this, Bill believes he and Buddy share their own special repartee, a symbiotic relationship of sorts, least this is what Bill thinks…

But someone’s about to come between Bill and Buddy, test their loyalty and their future happiness. That someone is a clown named Terry who just so happens to turn up unannounced at Bill’s front door, dressed in fuzzy orange wig, big red nose, large floppy shoes, and holding a handful of helium filled balloons.

Has he come on behalf of management? Bill’s last phone call did lead us to believe he might be in line for a proper sendoff. Perhaps the clown comes with a parting gift, maybe a nice gold watch, or a little retirement bonus? After so many devoted years of faithful service, it’d be no surprise. Or would it?

Well you’re going to have to get to the punch-line – I mean denouement – yourself. Suffice to say John Hunter weaves a Hitman story with a difference, cleverly executed through dark comedy, tongue in cheek dialogue, the element of surprise, and some rather lovely dry wit.

Our parting shot? That Hitman’s Retirement Party is a killer script, sure to draw even the best filmmakers out of retirement.

Budget: Very reasonable. A cat. Two guys and a smoking gun. Oh, and a really evil clown costume….

About the writer John Hunter: With the completion of (4) boffo features, a litter of riveting shorts, a one hour take-your-breath-away sci-fi TV pilot and first 30 minute episode for that series, I am now officially THAT guy — The one who really needs an Agent or Executive Producer. Contact me at x32792 (a) yahoo.com

Read Hitman’s Retirement (9 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Ready or Not – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by KP Mackie

Ready Or Not by Tim Ratcliffe

“A little girl has an easier time hiding from her father than the harsh realities of life.”

You had me at “hello.”

Rather like Renee Zellweger’s infamous one-liner to Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, you’ll be had immediately with the first few lines of description in Tim Radcliffe’s sentimental short, Ready Or Not:

The girl in the photo, ABBY, four, curly hair, stands in the middle of the room. Her hands cover her eyes.

            ABBY
Eighteen, nineteen, twenty.

     Her hands fall away to reveal her face beaming with excitement.

            ABBY
Ready or not, here I come.

Who’s not a sucker for stories about adorable kids and their loving parents?

Abby and her dad Jack play hide-and-seek. A lot. And according to Abby’s mother Jenna, Jack is pretty good at it. On one particular occasion, Jenna tells Abby: “He’s hiding in a really good spot.” But young Abby is never deterred. “I’ll find him. I always do.”

Abby searches all Dad’s usual hiding places: a kitchen cupboard, under the dining table, behind curtains. Will she find him? Of course she will! Because this game has one indisputable rule: Jack ALWAYS lets Abby find him.

            JACK
You got some x-ray vision
that you’re not tellin’ me about?

And just like it’s supposed to be for an adorable daughter and her loving dad, Jack raises a giggling Abby over his head.

            ABBY
No Dad, I’m just good at this game.

So it goes… until the familiar and fun game of hide-and-seek isn’t just child’s play anymore.

Ready Or Not speaks volumes. Three words uttered — in most cases screamed — after counting to twenty in the popular kids’ game, signal the beginning of a game. In RON those words ultimately deliver an ironic ending: Sometimes there’s no fun and games whatsoever when it comes to the unpredictable game of life.

Are you a director with a soft spot? If so, be ready to be had by Ready Or Not too. Here’s a guarantee — you won’t be alone.

Budget: Low. Simple casting because ALL four-year-olds are adorable. Two loving parents required, plus one extra. Several interior shots could be staged for two common locations.

About the Writer: Tim Ratcliffe is an Australian writer who frequently travels the world in search of new adventures and experiences. A former journalist, he has written a number of short screenplays and had a few produced. A lover of all things creative, Tim has also tried his hand at acting, improv and stand-up comedy. He can be reached at tjames.ratcliffe ‘AT’ gmail.

Read Ready Or Not (5 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: California über reader/reviewer KP Mackie is working on her animated feature.

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November 21, 2017

    Activating my Love Gene by Fausto Lucignani

    When, for the first time in his life, a gorgeous woman rejects his advances, a crestfallen womanizer seeks real love with the help of genetics. 14 pages
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