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Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Wishbone by Jeremy Storey – Short Script Review (available for production) - post author Dane Whipple

Wishbone (23 pages in pdf format) by Jeremy Storey

Make a wish.

Snap! With the breaking of a wishbone from a simple chicken dinner, inspirational author Nick is sent down an alternate reality.

As an author, Nick has served as an inspiration to many a reader. Recently, though, Nick could use some inspiration himself. You see, he’s been down on his luck ever since a car accident took his wife, Chloe. Riddled with guilt and haunted by dreams (and perhaps his future self),

Nick contemplates just how he has ended up at this low point. But is there another way?

Enter Kat. Kat has just moved into Nick’s building, and it seems she has a past that haunts her as well. As their friendship grows, the parallels between Kat and Chloe become undeniable, and the line between fantasy and reality begins to blur. What unfolds is a dreamlike romance that defies reason and even time itself. All of this builds to an unforgettable finale that you’ll never see coming.

Filled with surreal imagery in the tradition of Vanilla Sky and Shutter Island (hey, if it’s good enough for Scorsese, it’s good enough for you!), Wishbone deftly delivers the kind of weighty rumination that continually garners accolades on the festival circuit. It is a confident, considerate, contemplation of life, and the choices we make, with a ponderous political pitch. Think Déjà Vu meets The Dead Zone. This is one script that will keep audiences and critics intrigued, entertained, and ultimately satisfied.

What more could you wish for? And – as collectors of Monkey Paws are well aware – be careful what you wish for, too.

Budget: Medium. Mainly because of script length. A scene involving a wrecked car may require some savvy directorial skill.

About the writer: Jeremy Storey has been writing on-and-off for the last fifteen years. He’s dabbled in stage plays, screenplays and shorts. He even wrote a novel once, but the less said about that effort, the better. He’s had a few things produced along the way – a feature (REWIND), two shorts (GOOD DEEDS and ADRIFTING) and a play (LAST CUP OF SORROW). He’s even done quite well in a number of screenwriting contests over the years. However, it’s the process of writing and collaborating on creative projects with likeminded folks that really makes him happy and content. He’s delighted to be asked to participate in Simplyscripts, and is genuinely looking forward to connecting with other writers, producers and directors. Contact him at jeremystorey (a) yahoo!

Read Wishbone (24 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple comes in a little glass vial. A little glass vial? A little glass vial. He is currently working on that screenplay everybody keeps talking about: The Wild Age. Contact him at dane.whipple (AT) live.com

Monday, May 6, 2019

Dead Man’s Money by John Hunter – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Dane Whipple

Dead Man’s Money (5 pages in pdf format) by John Hunter

“A dead man’s winning lotto ticket brings no good.”

Walt is dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.

His lifeless body is discovered by his best friend, Benny, inside a makeshift shack in the homeless camp that the two call home. Benny and Walt usually spent their days collecting aluminum cans, trying to earn enough money to keep them in cheap wine (you know, the kind with the screw-on cap). Benny could never understand why week after week Walt would throw money away on lotto tickets. After all, nobody ever wins! But, in the clutches of Walt’s cold, dead hands, Benny sees it: the winning ticket!

Will the ticket will bring Benny more luck than it brought Walt? Not likely.

If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention. You see, this particular lotto ticket seems to have a will of its own, springing from owner to owner when the time is right. It isn’t long before the same tragic, tough luck that befell Walt, sets its sights on Benny. Can Benny escape the cosmic, karmic, kismet threatening to destroy him? Will the ticket be satisfied with Benny’s death, or are there others in the path of the tornado?

Tales of luck, fortune, and chance, are the life-blood of cinema. As a witty, dark comedy that is equal parts Waking Ned Devine and It FollowsDMM is a mind-bending blend of comedy and horror, with the chipperest ending this side of Fargo. Perfect for a director with an understanding of biting, twisted humor, and a flair for the dramatic, DMM is set to be a festival favorite.

But, you have to play to win. So pick your lucky numbers and take a chance on Dead Man’s Money!

Budget: Moderate. With a diverse array of props and locations, it is definitely a professional-grade script.

About the writer, John Hunter: With the completion of (4) features, a litter of riveting shorts, a one hour take-your-breath-away sci-fi TV pilot and first 30 minute episode for that series, I am now officially THAT guy — The one who really needs an Agent or Executive Producer. Contact me at x32792 (AT) yahoo.com.

Read Dead Man’s Money (5 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple is an educated fool with money on his mind. He is currently writing that screenplay everybody keeps talking about: The Wild Age. Contact him at dane.whipple (AT) live.com

Monday, April 15, 2019

Brain by Alex Brauck – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author David M Troop

Brain (8 pages in PDF format) by Alex Brauck

Blackmailed by the country that gave him shelter, a kind-hearted young doctor is forced to assist in dehumanizing dementia experiments.

As I read the new short Brain, I was reminded of one of my favorite films – The Elephant Man.  Both can arguably be labeled monster movies.

But yet they are much, much more.

While each features a hideously deformed creature as their main character, the true story lies beneath the skin; far inside the core of the body… ultimately, within the human soul.

Brain opens, as most classic monster movies do, in an old mansion. One which includes a laboratory. And a mad scientist. Last on the checklist? A human experiment named, appropriately, Adam. Held captive by the evil Dr. Cornelius, Adam has suffered countless surgeries in the name of science – questionable efforts which have left his face an unrecognizable, bloody pulp. Although visually Adam is an appalling beast, there remains a man beneath the disfigurement – one longing to regain his humanity and dignity.

But Adam is not Cornelius’ only victim. Tahir – a brilliant surgeon himself – is also being held captive, forced to perform the gruesome surgeries on Adam in hopes of one day regaining his freedom. Over time, Tahir and Adam form a special bond. It’s a friendship between doctor and patient: two prisoners awaiting the perfect moment to escape.

One early Spring morning, Tahir notices the snow is melting. He shares this information with Adam. They sit together in their cells, realizing the time to act is near.

Which is when Cornelius summons Tahir to his office, ordering the hapless surgeon to perform experimental brain surgery on Adam in the morning. As Tahir watches a film of the procedure, he realizes his friend may not survive. It’s a four mile trek through the woods to the next village – but Tahir realizes: the time to escape has come.

Written by Alex Brauck, Brain is a classic throwback to monster movies like Frankenstein, The Wolfman, and – of course – The Elephant Man. What it can become cinematically is precious: an opportunity to see past the horrific outward appearance of the monsters, into their human souls.. and find that priceless fragment of ourselves.

Budget:  Moderate. There will be some makeup effects needed. Along with a laboratory set and some brain paraphernalia. Which is more than worth the effort.

About the Author, Alex BrauckHere in Germany, I currently pitch feature plays to my home markets. Some pretty successful producers recently showed interest, so I hope to make the next steps in the near future. Moreover, there’s a SF project in English I work on for two years now, called “Last Society”. Also, I plan a rewrite of my series pilot “The Killing Lottery” in 2016. As in “Brain“, my scripts tend to have a socio-critical angle. I hope you enjoy that feature. Last but not least I like to thank Jeff Bush and others who helped to improve this script considerably. To reach out to Alex, please email him at Xander-Brauck (a) t-online.de!

Read Brain (8 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Guest Reviewer:  David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus. Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced.   Dave would like to make it three. He is a regular, award-winning contributor to MoviePoet.com. Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 “AT” gmail.com.

Monday, April 8, 2019

Pieces of Me by Jean-Pierre Chapoteau – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Guest Reviewer

Pieces of Me (8 pages in pdf format) by Jean-Pierre Chapoteau

A young man wanders through a post apocalyptic world – in search of his own humanity

Post apocalyptic stories are often called “a dime a dozen”. It’s a genre that pulls on the collective imaginations of society, and begs us to think about a future completely askew and chaotic compared to our cushy present. It’s easy to hear post-apocalypse and think of MAD MAX, The Walking Dead, or TheBook of Eli. Worlds of never-ending ammunition and fuel, where the characters never seem to lose a single pound and always come out on top.

Then you have stories like Pieces of Me, by Jean-Pierre Chapoteau. A hard, truthful look into the bleak future through the cold, hungry eyes of a fourteen year old boy named Kaleb.

Not since Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road” have I read a story so gray and saddening that I came to the final page with my own sense of despair. Pieces of Me is one of those tales that doesn’t leave you thinking, “How cool would it be if that really happened,” but instead makes you ponder, “Have I made the most of my life in case this happens”.

The bitter aftertaste, one of possible premonition, where you’ll mourn the world we live in even though it still exists. You’ll find yourself looking at your children and wondering if they could survive on their own if they had to. You’ll look back on every moment that you’ve put off spending time with loved ones, or engaging in a hobby, and ask yourself what was so important that life got in the way of life. A lot of readers call scripts like Pieces of Me “depressing,” but the only depressing note is whatever the reader brings to the table once they allow this story to take them in. While never once does the main character make reference to the old world, living in his world for only a few pages, we somehow feel like we’re being forced to suffer as he suffers, fight as he fights, and mourn as he mourns. Emotional storytelling at its best.

This script is one of those that needs the right director’s touch. Not for the timid, and hardly for the novice. Kaleb, the world he lives in, and the world that no longer exists deserves this film to be a Festival winner. This story was meant for more than the labyrinth of videos on Vimeo and YouTube.

In closing, let me just say – when you’re done reading and that moment of solemn remorse overcomes you, in your reflection of all of the things you’d regret in Kaleb’s world, would not making this film be one of them?

About the writer: Jean-Pierre Chapoteau started writing feature length scripts in 2005 then focused on shorts in 2009. Since then he’s had three scripts produced and two more optioned. He has won several awards for his shorts and has been a moderator at the site MoviePoet.  Jean-Pierre was a finalist in the RAW TALENT Competition for his faith based feature length script: ‘Far From Perfect.’ And was also a semi-finalist in the SLAMDANCE teleplay competition and a finalist in the OBSWRITER teleplay contest for his adapted teleplay, Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Guardian.  You can contact Jean-Pierre Chapoteau at:  jeanpierre425 (a) gmail.com

Budget: Not for the novice… but not unreasonable, either. All the settings are outdoors, and very little is needed in the way of props. But a script like this should be done with a budget – and with style.

Read Pieces of Me (8 pages in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the reviewer: Rod Thompson is an award winning screenwriter of both features and shorts. His feature, The Squire won Best Drama for the 2014 Table Read My Screenplay contest, and he has placed numerous times for his shorts at MoviePoet.com. His short scripts Gimme Shelter and A Memory in Winter have both been optioned. He is also “the most humble man alive.” Contact Rod at RodThompson1980 (a) gmail.com.

Thursday, April 4, 2019

The Nu You – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Guest Reviewer

The Nu You (11 pages in pdf format) by John Hunter

How far would you go to be beautiful?

Cindy’s world is full of beautiful people. They flash beautiful smiles and wear beautiful clothes while driving beautiful cars. Cindy, with her unibrow, rudder nose, and wonky boob, is sure of one thing: she does not belong. But could she? If she’s willing to pay the price…?

The Nu You clinic offers Cindy the chance of a lifetime. They can grant Cindy’s cosmetic wish list with a complete assortment of corrective surgery. And the best part is that she can sleep through the entire recovery process, and awake from her ‘beauty nap’ reinvented as her best self.

But just how much will all this cost, and is beauty the only thing that Nu You is selling? Behind an unassuming office door lies a sinister secret. One that’s waiting for Cindy’s appointment day…

Think the cerebral parts of The Island (though trust me, this ain’t no Michael Bay pic!) with a hint of Gattaca, and a smart, snappy, satirical slant.

Our world today is chock-full of rake-thin models, celebrity worship, and harmful body-image trends. As a scathing critique of our modern celebrity obsession culture, it is destined to be a contemporary festival darling. Perfect for a director with an understanding and affiance for dark humor with social commentary.

So come in, have a seat. The Nu You awaits. Are you – and Cindy – ready to take that step?

Budget: Low. One main office setting with a brief outdoor montage sequence. A couple of inserts may require limited photoshop.

About the writer, John Hunter: With the completion of (4) features, a litter of riveting shorts, a one hour take-your-breath-away sci-fi TV pilot and first 30 minute episode for that series, I am now officially THAT guy — The one who really needs an Agent or Executive Producer. Contact me at x32792 (AT) yahoo.com

Read The Nu You (11 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: Dane is an attorney based in Hamburg, Germany. He has over 10 years experience with film and film theory and once got to kick-in a door for the German equivalent of CSI. He is currently working on a full-length screenplay that he describes as “a music bio-flick with a kick”.

Monday, April 1, 2019

Sophie The Gelded Space Stallion – International Release Poster Now Available1!!! - post author Don

Sophie The Gelded Space StallionSophie the Gelded Space Stallion (432 pages in pdf format) by Don Boose

Born in the high cliffs of the mountains of Kansas, Sophie, our equine hero, is kidnapped by an ancient race of aliens from Xadu. Sophie escapes in her quest to save the universe and if not the universe, perhaps his Mother.

Slowly, but slowly making progress on getting Sophie to theaters. We finally have the international release poster completed. It’s been a long four weeks, but we think that now that our graphic artist has completed all four MS-Paint classes, the wait was worth it.
Last year we released the placeholder, pre-pre-vis teaser trailer. There is still a lot of placeholder footage and placeholder dialogue and placeholder music, but this pre-vis teaser trailer occupies the same space as the official teaser trailer will occupy when it is done.
We’ve had a lot of re-shoots over the past year as the previous footage was lost to a dumpster fire when the director of photography and most of the actors rage quit due to the fact that their mouths were unable to correctly form the words in the order that were written. And, some of them wanted to be paid. In money.

Still, look for it in theaters near you, April 2020.

About the writer: Don Boose has been spinning tales of space opera gold since 1999. Everything he touches turns to crap. He doesn’t believe in second drafts. The words come from somewhere in space, fully formed and go into his head and through his fingers on to the written page. He is not available for re-writes.

Friday, March 22, 2019

Hair by James Barron – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Zach Zupke

Hair 18 pages in PDF format by James Barron

A family man struggling to keep his life from falling apart becomes obsessed with impending baldness.

Have you ever had one of those days? The job is stabbing you in the eyeballs, your child wants to stab you in the eyeballs and your spouse, who is so severely/constantly let down by you, can barely look you in the, um, eyeballs? These types of days have turned into years for salesman Ted Donovan.

But meaningless career and a challenging home life are nothing compared to his REAL problem: male pattern baldness.

James Barron’s “Hair” is a witty romp through a day in a suburban man’s life; a life beginning to fall apart – and fall out.

The story starts with confirmation from his physician – Ted’s hair or, unhair, doctor.

            DR. GREEN
Mr. Donovan, have you been under
any undue stress lately? At work
perhaps?

            TED
Yeah, a bit. There’s been some
cutbacks. And I have a new boss.
And my wife’s pushing me for this
promotion when I’m barely hanging
on as is. Plus my daughter got
suspended recently. And I’ve been
feeling this shortness of breath.
Kind of like I’m hyperventilating.

            DR. GREEN
Uh-huh…

            TED
Is there anything you can prescribe
for that?

            DR. GREEN
For which part?

            TED
All of it.

            DR. GREEN
I really only specialize with hair.

            TED
Oh. Right.

The problems mount at work, where Ted used to be an Amway selling “machine.” But now he’s locked in cold-call hell, unable to engage potential customers for more than greetings followed by dismal dial tones.

His much-younger boss – who happens to be his old boss’s son – doesn’t help matters, reminding Ted of better day’s gone by.

            TED
It’s been a little slow this month.

            NEAL
No worries. What’d my old man call you?
The machine. I remember you were a legend.
    (quickly)
Still are. I know I can count on
You, Teddy. Or should I say machine?

            TED
Ted is fine.

Ted is not fine. In fact, this is a decisive turning point in his life. And he literally meets it head-on in the form of a nearly-fatal accident behind the wheel as he checks his hair in the mirror. Knocked unconscious, he dreams of his boss Neal, who tells him “you must make a statement…. a statement shall set you free.”

This free advice amounts to Ted’s moment of clarity, leading him to do the unthinkable. And so his journey to happiness begins anew, with wife and daughter in tow. And Amway and the old Ted in his rear-view mirror – for good.

Ted’s big adventure is a warm, charming “Office Space” meets “Horrible Bosses” meets Paul Giamatti. It’s an extremely low-budget film requiring just a few locations and handful of actors – one of which may need to be willing to shave a little off his ego to make the film a “growing” success.

Budget: Just a few locations and a handful of actors. We’re happy to say that’s all you need.

About the writer: James loves to write comedy and action along with the occasional horror short. You can reach him at jbarron021 (a) gmail.

Read Hair (19 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Zack Zupke is a writer in Los Angeles. Zack was a latch-key kid whose best friend was a 19-inch color television. His early education (1st grade on) included watching countless hours of shows like “M*A*S*H,” “Star Trek” and “The Odd Couple” and movies like “The Godfather,” “Rocky” and “Annie Hall.” Flash forward to present day and his short “The Confession” was recently produced by Trident Technical College in Charleston, SC. He’s currently working on a futuristic hitman thriller with a partner and refining a dramedy pilot perfect for the likes of FX. You can reach Zack at zzupke (a) yahoo.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Keeping it Fresh – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Guest Reviewer

Keeping it Fresh (6 pages in pdf format) by Rick Hansberry

Ken and Ruth have done it all. Except this.

What are you willing to do to keep things fresh? That’s a question many couples in their 60s dare to ask, and Ken and Ruth do their best to answer.

Does Fresh mean honest? Or just exciting? And when the stakes are ‘whatever needs to be done to share one’s life’, how can a couple truly know?

As veteran writer Rick Hansberry’s script opens, we meet Ken and Ruth in their well worn family car; tersely discussing their “action plan.” Ruth’s awash with nerves – her hands playing with a folded piece of paper. Ken tries to be sensitive to her concerns, but fails miserably at every attempt.

Where is this duo going? And why?

Their destination – a grocery store. What on Earth could be nerve racking there?

Soon, we discover Ken and Ruth are in… a race. Of what kind? The truth’s unclear. But what unfolds next is a comedy of errors – a wondrous blend of anxiety and charm. Imagine the slapstick as Ken and Ruth dodge obstacles, friends, enemies, wet floors, and – of course – time.

What will the finish line reveal? We won’t spoil the surprise (or the produce). But you will find a warm, sophisticated comedy – ala a young June Squibb or Seymour Cassell.

This is a script with tons of buy-one-get-two-free.  Including: a budget friendly tale, featuring characters of a “specific” (and underrepresented) age. All of which makes this story stand out – and write it’s way into even old and jaded hearts.

Need some older actors? Consider giving your parents’ “cool” friends something to do for a day. But regardless of who you cast, you’ll charm your way into festivals with this Fresh, young-at-heart gem!

Budget: All that’s needed are two good actors, and access to a deli or supermarket – at least a few aisles.

About the writer: Rick Hansberry is a screenwriter, producer and director with more than 20 years of industry experience. His SAG Foundation award-winning Branches features narration by Daniel Stern and garnered international festival awards. In 2017 his thriller/horror film, Evil In Her was released on Amazon Video and Vimeo On Demand. His most recent short, inspired by true events, has won praise for its portrayal of one girl’s positive approach to handling her Type 1 Diabetes. You can view It’s Not Permanent free on YouTube. Rick has two shorts playing in the festival circuit now and has several other shorts and features available here and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618) and IMDB credits available here.

Read Keeping it Fresh

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the reviewer: Rachel Kate Miller is a veteran of the feature animation industry, having worked on several Oscar winning films, bringing stories to life. In 2012, she left animation to move to Chicago and run the design department for President Obama’s reelection campaign. She is now living in New York, writing, consulting on various projects and creating an educational animated series for elementary students focused on engaging kids in science. Want to drop Rachel line? She can be reached at rachelkate.miller (a) gmail.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Skip by Gary Howell – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Dena McKinnon

Skip (3 pages in pdf format) by Gary Howell

A woman finds it difficult to communicate with her mother, but will that change when her great-granddaughter comes for a visit?

Jane drops her daughter, Sophie, off with Anna, her mother, Sophie’s grandmother. Sophia sings an old but memorable jump rope song. Anna recognizes this old song and chimes in. They sing together as Sophie jumps.

And the generations don’t stop there! Anna takes Sophia along to the retirement home to visit Gloria, Anna’s mother, Sophie’s great grandmother. Anna wheels Gloria out into the garden. She tries to talk with Gloria, but we learn Gloria has lost her memory. However, as Gloria takes interest in young Sophia, a smile comes to her face and for that moment, her memory is reawakened by the chant of the old jump rope rhyme, Cinderella dressed in yellow… and just when we think her memory is back, Anna asks Gloria if she recognizes her. But it is a very sad moment when Gloria doesn’t respond.

This is a sad but sweet story that would be super low budget and easy to produce. It’s a strong piece that everyone can relate to. No matter our age, we all know time is something we cannot stop or even turn back without a time machine but it’s part of life.

Things I love about Skip:

I love the way the writer scans over four generations weaving the jump rope rhyme throughout. We see youth in Sophie, the middle aged always-on-the-go in Jane, the gracefully aging Anna and then Gloria who is in a state of waiting for death to come. I super love the way the writer touches our heart at the end when we see that Sophie has left her jump rope in Gloria’s lap. This story makes a reader appreciate each stage of life. It is also chock full of female cast which is hot right now, and it’s a story I think could wow a lot of festivals!

Production: Budget – low; Actors – four and one extra; Locations – 2

About the Writer: Gary Howell is an attorney by trade, but a writer at heart. He has written several shorts, one of which was recently produced, “Country Road 12” that stars Dee Wallace (“E.T.”, “Poltergeist”). He has also co-written with Rick Hansberry a dramedy, “According to Plan”, that was optioned with Josh Monkarsh of Traffic City Productions, and is in development. He has had a manager reach out regarding representation after a drama pilot, “Bounty,” has performed well in a couple of competitions.

Recently Gary and Rick started working on a new script together (“Lake Regret”) and they’re blogging about the process from beginning to end, including the marketing and hopefully eventual sale and production of the script. You can read about their efforts at www.lakeregretmovie.com.

Gary enjoys writing both comedy and drama, and leans towards indie-themed pieces that are character driven. He enjoys reviewing scripts and providing advice and constructive criticism to other writers, and would welcome the opportunity to work collaboratively with any producers/directors looking to work with him on any type of project. Gary can be reached at: GaryMHowell (a) gmail.

Read Skip (3 pages in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the reviewer: Dena McKinnon is an optioned and produced screenwriter who also writes on assignment. Her IMDb credits. She can be reached at: girlbytheshore (a) hotmail.

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