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Friday, August 14, 2020

Finding the Brother by Bill Sarre – short script review (available for production*) - post author Michael Kospiah

FINDING THE BROTHER (5-page short mystery-thriller screenplay) by Bill Sarre
https://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/FindingtheBrother.pdf

A private investigator is hired by an old friend to find his long-lost twin brother… who may or may not exist.

Okay, Week Three of the Simply Scripts annual Writer’s Tournament theme was NATURE VS NURTURE, a hot-button topic often discussed in some very controversial debates.

The top-scoring entry for week three (based on writer’s votes) was Bill Sarre’s thought-provoking mystery short, Finding the Brother. The three items he was given to include in his script were; a CIGAR, a PUBLIC RELATIONS SPECIALIST and a CASINO.

We open on the Vegas strip, where we meet our story’s protagonist, Jack Faith, a 60-year-old private investigator whose job is to “improve the odds, whatever the hand given”, as he describes in voice-over while at a casino’s roulette table – I kept hearing Humphrey Bogart’s voice as I read his dialogue.

One week earlier, we’re taken to a bar owned by Midnight Carter, an old friend of Jack’s. Brothers from another mother almost. On this night, Midnight gives Jack an envelope full of cash and asks him to find his long-lost twin brother – the two were supposedly separated at birth. But Jack’s a little reluctant to take on his buddy’s case. After all, Midnight isn’t even a hundred percent sure he has a twin brother in the first place – he was told he had one by a tarot card reader/psychic. Jack is skeptical, but Midnight has a feeling. So, to appease his old pal, Jack takes on the case.

Unable to find anything concrete online, Jack decides to put in some leg work and visit the county hall registry – but he comes up empty, only seeing that there was one birth at the time Midnight was born. But the sleuth that he is, he asks Midnight why he was named Midnight in the first place. This seems to open things up a bit and, sure enough, Jack finds his long-lost twin (the time of birth seems to have been the key to finding him).

The man’s name is Felix Star, a famous (or infamous) public relations agent to some of the biggest stars in Hollywood. And he’s coming out with a new tell-all book, dishing out all the dirt and juicy gossip about his clients over the years.

As Jack digs deeper, he discovers that Felix’s upbringing couldn’t be any more different than his old pal, Midnight’s.

            JACK (V.O.)
Life’s not fair. Not to me, not to
Midnight. But it was for Felix.
     (beat)
One goes to a rich family. Thinks
the world owes him. The other to a
kids home, run by a sick priest.

While Midnight grew up to be an honest, hardworking, good person despite his harsh upbringing, Felix, raised in luxury and privilege, grew up to be a pretty awful person who gets his rocks off by preying on the vulnerable.

Jack’s investigation leads him to the Vegas strip, where Midnight’s unsavory twin brother has a book signing. It’s here that Jack will inform Felix of Midnight and the two long-lost twins will be reunited. But Jack’s left with a bit of a moral dilemma, here. Yes, Midnight will know for sure that he, indeed, has a twin brother that was separated from him at birth. But, given how much of a slimy, despicable individual Felix is… is Midnight better off not knowing?

I won’t give away EVERYTHING, but the story’s conclusion was surprisingly heartwarming and left me with all the feels once I was finished reading. Despite how well-told the actual story was, what I was most impressed with was how much I cared about these characters and liked both Midnight and Jack. What started out as a gumshoe-type detective tale turned out to be a terrific and heartfelt meditation on friendship. I highly recommend this to any filmmaker looking to make an emotional impression on their audience while keeping them on the edge of their seats with taut storytelling.

BUDGET: Medium. Outside of the casino, the locations are actually pretty simple. But, despite only a few speaking roles, there are some crowd shots in here that will require some extras. I’m sure with some clever film making and access to certain resources, this can be made on a sensible budget.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Living on the Island of Jersey, part of the UK, Bill Sarre has been writing scripts for nine years after a lifetime of imagining them in his head. Having started to put them on paper, Bill has focused on short scripts winning the likes of the London Film Awards in the process. Bill has also been a multiple finalist in major competitions such the Page Awards and Blue Cat, with further success at Nashville and Fresh Voices. He writes across all genres with a preference for developing characters the reader not only can understand, but also care for. Bill can be reached at: bill.sarre@gmail.

Read FINDING THE BROTHER (5-page short mystery-thriller screenplay)

Discuss this script on the discussion board

*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production.


About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Ice by Paul Knauer – short script review (available for production*) - post author Michael Kospiah

ICE (5-page short mystery screenplay) Written by PAUL KNAUER

Another entry from WEEK FOUR of Simply Scripts’ annual Writers Tournament. One of the top entries, which was assigned a genre and three criteria items under the theme, YOUR HERO IS THE VILLAIN, was Paul Knauer’s clever, who-dun-nit, crime-thriller, the aptly titled, ICE. Paul’s genre was MYSTERY and his three criteria items were; a HAND WARMER, a BAILIFF and a FACTORY. Big props to Paul, by the way – he’s been going beast mode during this tournament, also achieving a top voter’s score in Week Two with his script, LINES (which I also reviewed not too long ago).

Now, as I was reading through the first few pages, I was wondering to myself, “Why the hell is the title of this script called Ice?” I thought that maybe it was a play on words, like maybe somebody got “iced”, or killed. I mean, someone DID get killed in the story, but that’s not why is was given that title. When the mystery of this tale is solved later in the script, I understood – the title also just so happens to be a hint to the mystery presented to us. Which is pretty damn cool.

The story opens as hard-edged, tough-as-nails Detective Brown arrives at a crime scene, along with his assistant, Meg. Still stewing from the previous week’s trial when a man he put behind bars was found innocent and set free, Detective Brown isn’t in the best of moods.

The crime scene, at an abandoned warehouse/factor, is a grisly one – a man named Skip Turner was found brutally gunned down. The police at the scene seem to have ruled it a suicide, but Detective Brown, who recognizes the man, suspects foul play.

            DETECTIVE BROWN
Fuck me. It’s Skip Turner.

            MEG
Skip – from the case? Last week?

            POLICEMAN
Gunshot wound. I’m thinking suicide.

            DETECTIVE BROWN
In the chest?

Luckily, the murder weapon was recovered at the scene – a gun with the serial number filed off. But Detective Brown is able to trace the gun back to a man named Bruce. It’s apparent that Detective Brown recognizes Bruce when he and Meg pay him a visit – he was the bailiff at Skip Turner’s trial last week.

Though Bruce reported the gun missing the week before, Detective Brown has a feeling about him – during the trial, there was a scuffle in court where Skip elbowed the bailiff in the face, leaving a nice shiner around his eye.

            BRUCE
Kill a guy over an elbow? That’s ridiculous.
You can go – now.

On his way out, Detective Brown grows even more suspicious of Bruce when he spots a few key items at the bailiff’s home – a needle and syringe sitting in a trash can and a couple of hand warmers peeking from beneath magazines on a side table. But HOW exactly are these key items in this case, you ask?

I won’t reveal TOO much here, as part of the fun is discovering how this crime was committed. But let’s just say that the syringe, needle and hand warmers cleverly come into play… along with an ice cube. I know you’re grinding your gears right now, trying to figure it out, but you’ll need to read for yourself to truly enjoy how this mystery unfolds.

After seeing KNIVES OUT recently and pretty much binge-watching every true crime show on every streaming service available over the past five months or so, I really, really needed something else to satisfy my appetite for a good crime-thriller/mystery. And especially after watching UNSOLVED MYSTERIES on Netflix, a show in which the mysteries remain, as the title indicates, unsolved, I needed something with a little resolve. Luckily, I stumbled upon ICE.

The script, obviously, was impressive on its own. But what really impressed me was that such an intricately and cleverly plotted script was written on such short notice, with assigned criteria items to include into the story – all while making those items (specifically the hand warmers) so vital to the story’s stunning reveal. Not only that, but it was all crammed into five pages of script without feeling forced or hurried, packing a punch that some half-hour and hour-long crime shows can’t match.

Incredibly clever, it would be a “crime” for this one not to be produced and seen on screen.

BUDGET: I’d say low to medium – there aren’t too many characters or locations, though the set designer would have to create the illusion of a court room (which could further be cheated with clever film making) and wardrobe would need to be involved for the cop uniforms. Either way, the script is worth whatever budget it will hopefully be given.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Paul is an optioned and produced screenwriter working out of the Kansas City area. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart, most of them about life in the Midwest U.S. His first script, a sitcom pilot titled OH, BROTHER!, placed second in the 2012 Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition and was subsequently optioned. Paul’s diverse portfolio includes several feature thrillers, a couple of comedy features and multiple sitcom pilots, as well as dozens of shorts across genres. He believes that becoming a better writer requires the ability to push personal boundaries. Paul can be reached at: pkcardinal (a) gmail.

Read ICE (5-page short mystery screenplay)

Discuss this script on the discussion board

*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production.


About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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