Congratulations to the following winners of the first Biennial SimplyScripts Super Screenwriting Contest. For those who didn’t not win, I do want to thank you for entering the first SimplyScripts pay contest. The money brought in covered exactly the cost of the winning prizes.

As promised, included in your entry fee is complete script coverage of your screenplay. For those of you who have already received coverage, I do apologize. Due to a small glitch, the words “meet with” between “I will” and “you” were inadvertently replaced with the word “masturbate”. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused you. Additionally, if an image was included in your coverage from me, please delete the image and never speak of it again. Apparently, my identical cousin was messing about with the digital camera and my email.

And, the winners are…

3rd Place Winner of a $5.00 and a toaster is Slow Down, You’ll Hurt Yourself by Opal F. Loir – A heartwarming feel good story of John, who, despite suffering from global aphasia, continues to chase his dream of a singing career.

2nd Place Winner of $10.00 and a firm handshake is Untitled written by Flora Spoil A person does something that has some result that may or may not have some significant result. Or not.

1st Place Winner of $50,000 and a hand job is Space Stallion: The Adventures of Sophie, the Hybrid Gelding by Don – Semi-biopic of the first equine in space.

Again, thanks to all that entered. This has to be one of the most gratifying contests that I have ever both entered and been a judged of. The winning scripts should be live tomorrow unless I get an affirmative response from ScriptGirl, in which case, I will probably be found wandering somewhere along I-5 between Oceanside and Encinitas coked out of my mind. I hate when that happens. – Don