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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

SimplyScripts Super Screenwriting Contest Winners! - post author Don

Congratulations to the following winners of the first Biennial SimplyScripts Super Screenwriting Contest. For those who didn’t not win, I do want to thank you for entering the first SimplyScripts pay contest. The money brought in covered exactly the cost of the winning prizes.

As promised, included in your entry fee is complete script coverage of your screenplay. For those of you who have already received coverage, I do apologize. Due to a small glitch, the words “meet with” between “I will” and “you” were inadvertently replaced with the word “masturbate”. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused you. Additionally, if an image was included in your coverage from me, please delete the image and never speak of it again. Apparently, my identical cousin was messing about with the digital camera and my email.

And, the winners are…

3rd Place Winner of a $5.00 and a toaster is Slow Down, You’ll Hurt Yourself by Opal F. Loir – A heartwarming feel good story of John, who, despite suffering from global aphasia, continues to chase his dream of a singing career.

2nd Place Winner of $10.00 and a firm handshake is Untitled written by Flora Spoil A person does something that has some result that may or may not have some significant result. Or not.

1st Place Winner of $50,000 and a hand job is Space Stallion: The Adventures of Sophie, the Hybrid Gelding by Don – Semi-biopic of the first equine in space.

Again, thanks to all that entered. This has to be one of the most gratifying contests that I have ever both entered and been a judged of. The winning scripts should be live tomorrow unless I get an affirmative response from ScriptGirl, in which case, I will probably be found wandering somewhere along I-5 between Oceanside and Encinitas coked out of my mind. I hate when that happens. – Don

9 Comments so far


April 1st, 2009 at 10:02 am

Yes! Don is da winner! Take that you pussies! 🙂


April 1st, 2009 at 1:30 pm

I bet Don cheated. Bet he didn’t even pay his entry fee.


April 1st, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Btw, is that script similar to Space Stallion: The Dark Space Adventure of Sophie the Hybrid Horse Snake that was here in -06?

I’m going to find your script one day. I’m patient and I have a memory like an elephant. 🙂


April 1st, 2009 at 1:38 pm

I didn’t cheat. I paid the entry fee. Trust me, no one was more surprised than me that I picked my own script as the winning script. I was completely floored when I said to myself, “This is the winning script.”

And, yes. It is a re-write of SS:TDSAoStHHS. I took out the bit about the snake. I mean, really. Snakes in space?



April 1st, 2009 at 3:12 pm

You mean to tell me that my re-imagining of Gulliver’s Travels that depicts the Liliputians as zombies wasn’t good enough to beat out this nonsense?

This is an outrage!

I’ll make it easy on you. Refund my $9.95 entry fee, and I won’t come to your house and “Sham-Wow hooker punch” you.




April 1st, 2009 at 3:15 pm

How come I didn’t hear about this? I’m always the last to know. Hmmph!


April 1st, 2009 at 3:56 pm

What do you mean $9.95?? I had to pay 50 bucks!!


April 1st, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Dang! I thought sure my remake of “Dude Where’s My Car” as “Dude, Where’s Herbie the Love Bug” was a shoe in!

Thanks for the masturbation pic though. I’ve got it hanging on the fridge. Well worth the $9.95 entry fee. Tell your cousin I said “Hey!”


April 2nd, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Nice April Fools.

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