Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are seven original works for your reading pleasure.

And the August One Week Challenge has begun! Check out the theme: Fever Dream and sharpen your pencils.

– Don

In the world of screenwriting a good opening scene is imperative in grabbing the reader’s attention. It sets tone and atmosphere and is crucial in enticing us to turn the pages.

L.P. Lapierre’s psychological horror New Arrival (6 page short horor in pdf format) kicks off instantly with a very simple OVER BLACK scene, but it’s the horrific overlaid sounds of –

Screeching tires, glass and metal… and a chorus of screams…

– that immediately draws us in.

Over black scenes are used to great dramatic effect in many well revered movies: The classic 60s horror film The Innocents comes to mind featuring the eerie sound of a young girl’s mournful song, Zero Dark Thirty brings back nightmares via harrowing real-life recordings of that fateful day on September 11, Kenneth Branagh’s distress call in Infinity War calls to us from deep space, and Kill Bill Volume 1 features no other sound at the start but the Bride’s labored breathing.

Openings like these that ‘keep us in the dark’ are all the more effective because we’re going in blind but our other senses are heightened, thus conjuring our imagination to fill in the blanks.

A picture may indeed paint a thousand words but some familiar sounds can act as a gut-punch in evoking a nightmare response.

When we do FADE IN on New Arrival it is to –

A BASEMENT

It’s the middle of the day.  Six people are seated around a table, with one empty chair.

One empty chair reserved for –

a clearly distraught Bobby Stranhiem, a young man in his late 20s.

He’s ushered in by an ominous character who goes only by the name of The Caretaker.

The Caretaker circles Bobby and stops behind him.

In what appears to be a soothing gesture – He places his hands on his shoulders

And proceeds to introduce Bobby to members of a support group.

They’re a ragtag group this lot, and strangely attired. SANDY HARRISON, a nineteen year old cheer-leader who looks as though she just bounced in from a pep-rally – Sitting next to her : Forty-year old GEORGE CLEVELAND, very much the spit of a 1930’s gangster – and DWAYNE HOLLY a fifty-year old farmer who looks as if he just stepped straight from that very well known painting, American Gothic.

I’m already on edge and wondering what fate has befallen poor Bobby, and that’s before – The Caretaker addresses the group –

Okay, that’s standard greeting for a support group but something about this whole set-up is very creepy. On first appearance it appears like a benign coming together of like-minded people following a traumatic event, but this scene carries with it an added feeling of dread. As the Caretaker acknowledges Bobby’s suffering, (presumably in the aftermath of the opening scene), he then relays the ground rules of this place and informs Bobby that he will allow him three questions.

Bobby’s first question is:

The rather mysterious and sinister answer to that question is –

He then goes on to inform Bobby that  –

Who the hell is the Administrator?

The rest of the group laugh when Bobby asks this very question.

Okay, so at this point my guess is Bobby has been transported somewhere – maybe it’s prison, or a mental health facility, at worst it might be some cult rehab. He’s obviously here to atone for his sins; he has a chance at graduating – to what and to where we have no inkling – he can’t leave, and he can only have visitors once in a blue moon.

And then Dwayne pipes up with this bombshell:

Bobby is adamant this will not happen to him. He’s nothing like these people, and his wife would never abandon him.

But will it?

Apparently everyone says this.

It’s at this point of utter despair when we think all is lost that we hear –

The sound of VEHICLES approaching from outside –

Oh Eureka! Maybe Bobby’s being saved from this nightmare after all.

They stand to their feet and surround Bobby…

The group quietly makes their way to the flimsy metal door. Sandy grabs Bobby’s hand, Dwayne grabs his other hand. They all share a glance…

All I will say at this junction is, fasten your seatbelts to see what’s coming around the next bend.

Writer L.P. Lapierre skillfully weaves a tale that wrings every emotion from the reader, charting a course that begins with drama, psychological horror, suspense and intrigue, culminating in a completely unexpected final scene that completely took me by surprise by pulling at the heartstrings and packing an emotional punch.

Dare I say, New Arrival is the perfect vehicle for debuting at film festivals, and would be just the ticket for a beginner filmmaker wanting to jump-start their career. Likewise it would be a worthy addition to any seasoned professional’s showreel.

Production Notes:

Most of the action takes place in one room.
One brief exterior location.
Character costumes – easy to find or DIY.
A small ensemble cast. Adult speaking parts, mostly minimal dialogue. Additional Actor/Extras.

Read the Script and talk about it on the Discussion Board

About the Writer: L.P. Lapierre 

I’m a Graphic Designer by day. I have worked in the art department on many productions ranging from feature film to tv. Though I love that side of filmmaking, it is the writing that has brought me endless amounts of joy since my teenage years.

Improving on the craft of screenwriting is my ultimate objective, having fun while doing it is a bonus. Seeing my work on a screen is a tall task, but one that would make all the effort worth it.

About the Reviewer:

L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

*This is not in the public domain. You must reach out to the screenwriter for permission to film.

Scripts of the July ’23 One Week Challenge” – After relocating to a new city, a person with a strange addiction feels compelled to act when he/she discovers a sinister plot left behind by the co-worker they’ve been dating.

Read the scripts!

Please note: this was an anonymous challenge. If you have any interest in these scripts, please reach out to me and I will put you in touch with the writer (or wait until the writers’ names are release next week).

– Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are eight original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are fifteen original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are ten original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are thirteen original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are eleven original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Still Life (Short, Sci-fi) 6 Pages by John Staats – Some super powers just prolong the inevitable

How many times have you been confronted with this hypothetical question “If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose?”. There are so many to choose from! If you could fly you could travel the world, if you had super strength, you could save lives, if you had self-cleaning teeth, you would never have to worry about oral hygiene again!… It is a tough choice. Ultimately though, how would you feel about your decision after it is made? What if you get it wrong?

This hypothetical question forms the basis of John Staats excellent short script, Still Life.

This cautionary tale opens in an outdated and ill-maintained house belonging to a cranky OLD MAN (who we quickly come to love) as we follow his seemingly monotonous routine…

An OLD MAN (70) in a dirty bathrobe enters from the kitchen.
His long white beard and, what remains of his hair, is
unkempt.

He carries a bowl of SpaghettiOs and a can of Budweiser to a
TV tray by the sofa, sets it down, and continues to a shelf
of VHS tapes.

He trails an index finger along the aged and faded VHS
boxes.

OLD MAN
Seen it. Seen it. Hated it. Seen
it…

His arthritic knuckled finger stops on and taps a box with a
handwritten title: Albert’s Big Day.

OLD MAN
Hmmm…haven’t watched this in a
long while.

He pulls the tape out and sidles over to a large console
television.

As we join the Old Man is his daily viewing, we soon come to realize that the label of “Albert’s Big Day” is a criminal understatement!
But as we watch this young man on the biggest day of his life, it is difficult to decide which is more entertaining, the day itself, or Old Mans running, sarcastic commentary of it.

PODIUM

Albert stands between the MAYOR and FIRE CHIEF. The crowd
cheers until the Mayor waves his arms and settles them down.

MAYOR
Welcome one and all! We’re gathered
here today-

OLD MAN (OS)
For votes.

MAYOR
-to recognize Albert Madison for
his bravery and sacrifice-

OLD MAN (OS)
Yeah, no.

The image fast forwards through the Mayor’s speech and stops
on what appears to be a flash of light. The play resumes…

A flash of light that would change Albert’s and Old Man’s lives forever in a tangle of not-so-hypothetical questions, youthful miscalculations and a lifetime of dissonance.

I can’t say much about what follows so as to not ruin the story for you (Read it, you won’t be disappointed) but what I can say is that John’s brilliant storytelling brings all of the threads together and sheds light on what brought the Old Man to this point in his life, his connection to young Albert, and finishes off the whole thing with a bang in a story reminiscent of Tales of the Unexpected (Or Twilight Zone for the none UK readers).

So, producers, you might not be able to choose any superpower you want but you can choose to produce this super powered short that would make a great addition to any portfolio.

Winner of Writers Choice in the SS April OWC

Read the script HERE
Discuss the script HERE

Budget: Once main actor with a few supporting. One main location with a bit of SFX thrown in means a clever producer can make this cracker on a small budget.

ABOUT THE WRITER: John Staats is a freelance writer of screenplays, comics, and shorts of all sorts. His genres of favor are either gritty westerns, philosophical conundrums, or of topics not usually safe for work. You can track down his work at LinkedIn or right here on Simply Scripts. Just making it up as he goes….

About the Reviewer: Matthew Taylor is an amateur screenwriter with a few script sales and short script productions under his belt. He enjoys writing for the Sci-fi/fantasy audience and tends to lean more on the dark side of life.