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Monday, September 18, 2017

Boyarski Dance – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by Julia Cottle

Boyarski Dance by D.W. Smith

Akar’s been abducted just hours before his wedding. Will he make it to the temple on time?

Wedding days can be stressful; dealing with millions of crucial, pesky details. The last thing one needs is to be abducted – only hours before you take your vows.

Yet that’s exactly the predicament Akar, the protagonist of D.W. Smith’s Boyarski Dance, unfortunately finds himself in.

For the life of him, Akar can’t comprehend what’s tossed him in such dire straits – hooded and tied to a chair. His captors demand he confess. But Akar has no clue what they’re talking about. How could an innocent such as him cause anyone to be upset?

The terrified groom-to-be pleads with the two anonymous men looming over him – dressed in black jumpsuits and goggles. But his kidnappers won’t divulge any information. They’re too busy bickering amongst themselves:

            SHTARKER 1
How do you know you didn’t do it if
you keep saying you don’t know what
it is that you did when it was did.

            SHTARKER 2
Done.

            SHTARKER 1
Done what?

            SHTARKER 2
What he done.

            SHTARKER 1
That’s what I asked.

            SHTARKER 2
No you didn’t. You said “When it
was did.”

            SHTARKER 1
You grading on a curve?

            SHTARKER 2
You’d still fail.

            SHTARKER 1
Fail dees.

            SHTARKER 2
Who’s Dees?

            SHTARKER 1
Dees NUTS!
     (Shtarker 1 grabs his crotch.)

            SHTARKER 2
Real adult, ya putz.

   Shtarker 2 smacks Shtarker 1 on the back of the head.

It’s a Three Stooges schtick, personified.

As his torment drags on, Akar increasingly despairs. His tormentors accuse him of snitching – about what? So, Akar continues to plead for mercy… Especially after they whip the torture implements out, and wave them in his horrified face.

Leaving one essential question: is Akar a lowly snitch? Or the mensch he claims to be? This day was supposed to be the happiest of Akar’s life. Now will it be… the last?

Audiences won’t believe how this story unfolds. You’ll be laughing so hard, you’ll plotz.

Budget: Low. Three actors (with great comedic timing) and a “sinister” looking room – that’s it!

About the writer: D.W. Smith life’s goal was to leave something for his granddaughter to read after he was gone. During his 2010 tour in Iraq, while he was in a bunker under attack, that he started to write. Luckily he made it out alive, retired from the Military and has now published two books – Asim: Servant of Two Masters and Refuge. He is currently working on a full feature script along with other short scripts. He can be contacted at DannyNIraq (a) hotmail.

Read Boyarski Dance (8 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She always has loved to write, but only recently has begun work on screenplays. She can be reached at: Cottle54321 (a) Gmail.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Last Date – Short Script Review (In Production) - posted by Guest Reviewer

Last Date by Richard Russell is in production. Script removed.

A man and woman meet for a last date – both of them by proxy…

Ah, life’s endless agonies. Childbirth. Root canals. Ending a relationship. Because when it’s time to say “I want out”, does anyone really want to be there? Not the one being dumped. Humiliating. And the dumpee? Awwwwkkkkwardd….

We’ve all been there and done that, on both sides of the equation. And once you’ve been through the wringer several times, you don’t want to experience it again.

But what other choice does one have? Put a happy face on a ruinous relationship, sing “fifty ways to leave your lover” with harmony, or…

Pay someone ELSE to end it.

And in an opportunistic society, that scenario’s not out of the question. Because when money’s involved, there will always be someone to do your bidding. Even if the task is crushing the soul of a soured sweetheart.

But what happens when mercenaries collide?

That’s the scenario of Last Date. A chance encounter at a bar; not between ex-lovers ending a doomed relationship – but between two paid stand-ins. Meeting on behalf of “Bonnie” and “Will”, Matt and Emily are experienced masters at their jilting craft. Having researched the relationship’s history, Matt and Emily know just what to say… Everything from “It’s not you, it’s me”, to “I know about that office affair.” On behalf of their clients, Matt and Emily face off across the table – for confrontations and drinks. Both are consummate professionals… But can these actors truly separate themselves from the play?

Dryly humorous – and deceptively simple – Last Date is the perfect match for directors who groove on social commentary. A script that skewers society on multiple levels: the eternal battle between men and women… and a modern world where anything can be bought or sold. Including the pain of a Last Date.

Budget: Very low budget. All that’s needed is a single diner or bar – and a few actors with good comedic timing.

About the writer: Richard Russell lives in North Carolina where he plays golf and writes. He has been writing since college when his short stories appeared in the university literary magazine. He loves writing screenplays, and THE CALL, written with his partner, Felice Bassuk, is one of their best. They have written an award-winning feature, THE KOI KEEPER, which they hope to see on the screen in the not too distant future. Richard has a trove of shorts and feature length screenplays and continues to add to the inventory. Writing remains the sole source of sanity in Richard’s chaotic world.

About the reviewer: Michael O’Farrell is a mathematician who worked on the Space Shuttle Program and now writes fiction.

Read Last Date (9 pages PDF format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, August 7, 2017

High Demand – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by Guest Reviewer

High Demand by David M Troop

An awkward girl scout employs the services of her older stoner brother to beat her arch nemesis in a cookie-selling contest.

We’ve all seen them. And we’ve all pretended not to be at home when they’ve come a-knockin’ at our door.

No, we’re not talking Seventh Day Adventists. It’s a breed more tenacious: Girl Scouts!

The ultimate sales persons – branded by green sashes and pigtails – these little “cookie” girls sell their wares constantly. At least, if they want their badges and rewards. Given the high pressure stakes involved, it’s a miracle more haven’t pursued questionable means. Not to mention black markets!

Maybe after reading High Demand they will – the tale of one Girl Scout that discovers a whole new clientele through her stoner brother with all the right connections.

The script opens up in a sweet and innocent setting: five girl guides sit through a pep talk, in preparation for their annual cookie drive. Among them is our young heroine Margaret, a 12-year old girl with a rather dismal sales record. But this year is different. This year, there’s a brand new bicycle waiting for the girl who can sell the most. With that one incentive, Margaret is sold. This is the year she proves herself!

Opposed by her wicked den-mother, her condescending den-sisters, and the general apathy of the human population, Margaret quickly learns that her Herculean task will not be easily overcome.

Enter Bud, her older stoner brother with an insatiable appetite for sweets. Thus begins a brilliant scheme to exploit the cravings of certain “patients”. Impassioned anew, Margaret strives to best arch-nemesis Sharlee and the rest of the mean girl clan, proving once again that the underdog should never be underestimated.

Make no mistake: this is no half-baked story.

Full of charm and wit, the relationship between Bud and Margaret is memorable not only for their quick and humorous banter. The kinship at its core becomes especially clear as the story nears its resolution. What Margaret wants is not just a bike. But the ability to believe in herself.

Why should you consider this script? Well, it’s more than just scoring Thin Mints as props.

Not only does High Demand pursue an original twist on the well-known reality of the Girl Guide, but it ‘s infused with positive reinforcements for a female audience with strong never-say-die heroines. Margaret is an easily lovable character with relatable issues, and has the potential to champion a few more short tales.

What more could you ask for? Well, aside from “glaucoma treatment” and Girl Scout cookies?

Budget: Moderate. A few locations and a handful of extras to support a small cast. They key is finding great young actresses and making sure the chemistry between Bud and Margaret really comes alive!

About the Writer: David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus.  Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced. Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 “AT” gmail!

Read High Demand (15 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: Faith Rivens is an aspiring author and filmmaker. New to the business, storytelling is a passion born innately within her. It doesn’t matter the genre, or the medium. What matters is the story woven within. Her first book Eléonore: An Iníonaofa Novella is available on Amazon. Want to drop Faith a line? Reach out to her at AliasFaithRivens.wordpress.com.

Monday, July 3, 2017

The Putt Putt Preacher – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by Guest Reviewer

The Putt Putt Preacher by Jason K. Allen

For Father Mahoney, it’s not just a game… It’s an act of God. And, a religious calling has never been funnier.

You ever wonder what the heck goes through the mind of a man of the cloth as he strays from his calling to pursue an obsession? Is it arrogance that blinds him to the potential consequences of his actions? Or, does he truly believe to be commanded by a higher power?   For Father Mahoney, the protagonist of Jason K. Allen’s “The Putt Putt Preacher” it’s all of the above… and more. This priest takes hubris and an unshakable belief in godly duty to absurd and hilarious extremes.

His obsession?   Putt putt. He plays it A LOT. And, when he’s not playing, he’s expounding on the merits of the game or the amazing putting skill he possesses. The Father believes not only that he has been called upon to play the game, but that he plays it better than anyone…even Tiger Woods.

Utilizing mockumentary, the script centers on an interview with Father Mahoney interspersed with expert opinions and live footage that comically contradict his claims. For, as often happens with public figures who digress, Father Mahoney is convinced that he is above the rules of the game. As Father Mahoney calmly explains, “I play by God’s rules. And, if God tells me I get a do-over, I get a do-over.”

You haven’t seen the likes of Father Mahoney since Almodovar’s convent turned drug den in Dark Habits, or Jack Black turned wrestling champion in Nacho Libre. Indeed, Putt Putt Preacher makes holier-than-thou hypocrisy side-splittingly and wholly entertaining.

Budget: Low to moderate budget. The main expense will be the rental of a putt putt course.

About the writer:  Jason K. Allen is a writer and filmmaker from Nashville, Tennessee. His produced short scripts include AMERICAN SOCK, which won Best Screenplay at the 2014 San Diego Film Awards, and AUTUMN LOVERS, winner of the Audience Award at the 2013 Artlightenment Festival in Nashville. He also wrote the feature film LUCKY FRITZ starring Julia Dietze (IRON SKY) and Corey Feldman. Jason is also a wilderness guide, nature photographer, and published author. See IMDB for his complete credits.

Read The Putt Putt Preacher (3 pages in PDF format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She recently has begun to work on two screenplays. She can be reached at Cottle54321“AT”Gmail.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Balancing Act – Short Script Review (Available for Production)! - posted by Guest Reviewer

Balancing Act (14 pages in pdf format) by Jason Allen

You think balancing rocks is easy? Think again!

A mockumentary in the vein of Best in Show, Spinal Tap and more…

Rocks. What mundane fragments of Nature! Found across the globe, in so many shapes and so many colours, their uses are positively endless. People have built walls with them, collected them for their own pleasure, and competed to see who can skip them the furthest across ponds and lakes.

They really are the most versatile objects in the world. So why not make art with them as well?

Odell Jenkins, 42, asks that very question and pursues it with such vigour that his entire life becomes devoted to the skill of stacking rocks.

Written mockumentary style, Balancing Act follows Odell as he declares his passion for his art. And explores his most memorable moments: from meeting his wife Jenny, to the appearance of mysterious symbols suspected of being a message from aliens. Code written into rocks – from the sky!

Sure, Odell may be obsessed – but he’s also a reflective and humble man who takes his art seriously. A simple soul who knows his purpose – and desires to make his mark on the world.

As a result, Balancing Act is more than a story about rocks. It’s also a moral about balancing life. The tale of a man who wants to be inspired and wants to inspire, as well.

Like any of us, Odell is seeking the answers to the universe’s biggest questions… under whatever rock they may hide.

With a tongue-and-cheek tone, this short bursts with subtle wit. Highly amusing and entertaining, Balancing Act elevates a humdrum topic – all the way to the stratosphere.

Why should you choose Balancing Act? Well, Odell’s down-to-earth personality will resonate well with audiences. And if that doesn’t convince you, here’s one more reason to place on the pile:

This is a script with heart and humour. Deftly moving between parody and drama, it’s a ‘balancing act’ in and of itself . Compelling as much as diverting, Balancing Act’s is a thought-provoking piece indeed.

Budget: While locations are plentiful, the number of characters is limited. If you’re willing to put the money in, the production will be well worth the final creation.

About the writer: Jason K. Allen is a writer and filmmaker from Nashville, Tennessee. His screenwriting credits include the short films AMERICAN SOCK, which won Best Screenplay at the 2014 San Diego Film Awards, and AUTUMN LOVERS, winner of the Audience Award at the 2013 Artlightenment Festival in Nashville. He also wrote the feature film LUCKY FRITZ starring Julia Dietze (IRON SKY) and Corey Feldman. You can contact Jason at allen.jason.k (at) gmail. See IMDB for his complete credits: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3021924

About the reviewer: Faith Rivens is an aspiring author and filmmaker. Storytelling is a passion born innately within her. It doesn’t matter the genre, or the medium. What matters is the story woven within. With any luck, her first novel will be out on the stands in 2016. So keep a sharp eye out! Want to drop Faith a line? She’s available at faithrivens.writer (a) gmail

Read Balacing Act

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Deal Breaker – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by David M Troop

Deal Breaker (10 pages in pdf format) by Brett Martin

A woman risks sabotaging the perfect date when she confesses a terrible secret.

If there’s one movie genre we can all identify with, it’s gotta be romantic comedy.

After all, love (or the pursuit of it) is universal. We’ve all longed for that perfect partner to meet. Someone to fall in love with. Break up with over a silly misunderstanding. Followed by a musical montage of regrets. And a long, lonely walk on the beach. After that? Reconciliation and happily-ever-after are sure to follow. Fade Out. Viola. Credits roll.

It works that way in real life, too.

Doesn’t it?

A romantic comedy with a twist, Deal Breaker focuses on that most romantic night of all – that frightening, nauseating first date.

Though, as far as first dates go, Alice and Louis are doing just fine. Dinner at a French café. (Check.) Wine and charming conversation (double check.) Everything’s darned near perfect.

Until Alice – required by law – discloses she’s a registered sex offender.

Dead silence from Louis. A stack of plate crashes somewhere in the restaurant. A record needle scratches – loud.

Though Alice explains the situation aptly, the news lands like the proverbial fart in church. The woman of Louis’ dreams… has a very fatal flaw.

Will Louis be able to man up and deal? Or high-tail it down the nearest fire escape?

An intelligently written comedy, Deal Breaker’s full of witty dialogue. Not to mention posing the age old question: Is it proper dating etiquette to Google your date during the main course? Or should you wait until the check arrives?

Directors with a flare for comedy and keen dialogue would do well to add this to their menu. ‘Cause this one’s a special that won’t be available for too long.

Pages: 10

Budget: Low. A nice restaurant. A small cast with some extras. One minor special effect.

About the writer: Brett Martin is an unrepped screenwriter and freelance reader living in Los Angeles. He sold an action/thriller to Quixotic Productions, which is owned by Brett Stimely (Watchmen, Transformers 3). He’s recently finalized a tentpole action feature & a brand new bi-weekly cartoon web series, Robots Love Movies, as he continues his quest to be a professional writer.

About the reviewer: David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus. Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced. Dave would like to make it three. He was a regular, award-winning contributor to MoviePoet.com. Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 “AT” Gmail

Read Deal Breaker (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Mollycoddled – Short Script (Available for Production) - posted by John Robbins

Mollycoddled (pdf format) by L. Chambers

After they’re turfed out, one man and his dog discover there might be trouble and strife at home, but out in the big wide world the Nanny state has gone haywire.

‘NO DRINKING. NO SMOKING. NO LITTERING. NO SKATEBOARDING. NO BIKES… NO DOGS.’

Rules are everywhere we go: airplanes, school, driving, work, relationships. And while some rules can be annoying, Brad now finds it harder than most to avoid all of them. Mollycoddled explores that line between fighting the rules, or embracing them.

Accompanied by his shaggy pup, Brad looks to take a break from the doghouse after being kicked out by his girlfriend. However, everywhere he goes—by the beach, at the park, on the bus—the law of the land beckons, and Brad learns that not every punishment fits its crime. As the offenses become more and more excessive, he isn’t even sure if pulling out his hair would warrant a fine.

At the crossroad of his comedic journey, will Brad choose to obey or rebel? Can he overcome the rules? Or are some rules worth it?

Pages: 12

Budget: Low

About the writer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia. You can contact L Chambers at libbych “AT” hotmail

About the reviewer: John Robbins is a screenwriter from Milwaukee, WI.

Read Mollycoddled(pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Mendelevium – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by The Merrows

Mendelevium (pdf format) by Erich VonHeeder

A “Battle of the Bands” helps two lead singers find love.

Mendelevium. It’s a synthetic element on the Periodic Table. Atomic Number: 101.

Don’t let the title lead you astray. There’s little science in Erich Von Heeder’s script, Mendelevium.

But tons of chemistry.

Incredibly engaging, Mendelevium is totally character-driven: an interview of Delores and Levi, two lead singers in rival punk rock bands.

When the couple first meet, it’s hate at first sight – an animosity of biblical proportions. As Delores articulates: “I was overcome with hatred for him. Like deep, blinding…” A helpful Levi completes the thought: “Murderous. Murderous hatred.”

…a hatred which escalates to an on-stage scuffle, after Delores throws a pound of cocaine at Levi. Followed by a night in jail. Talk about auspicious first dates!

“Where did you get a pound of cocaine?” their puzzled interviewer queries.

“Where do fish get scales?” Delores replies. “I don’t know. I’m a rock star, dude.”

Holding hands, the couple reminisce about their whirlwind romance, shortly after making bail. Delores: “We were hotter than a pequin pepper. A rare pepper that grows in the remote Andes Mountains of Chile, and if you even touch it to your mouth you die.”

Levi rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t exist,” he confides to the camera.

Imagine a punk rock reboot of When Harry Met Sally… that’s Mendelevium in a nutshell. Packed with witty dialogue, the script is funny, fresh – a standout vignette of two non-conformists in love. As Levi says, “Love’s a jester, man.” And a script like this is bound to shine.

Pages: 5

Budget: Low-medium. All that’s needed is an interview room, an indie rock “stage”, a handful of crowd extras – and a couple with great chemistry.

About the writer: A humble denizen of Seattle (home of some amazing rock bands) talented writer Erich VonHeeder can be reached at erich_vonheeder(a)yahoo.com

About the reviewers: Scott & Paula Merrow are a husband and wife screenwriting team. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy,… the whole nine yards. They’re reachable at scott-paula(a)comcast.net

Read Mendelevium (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

I Can See You – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by wonkavite

 

Laptop-Shorts

I Can See You

While delivering the mail, a joyless postal worker begins to see messages in the form of graffiti, then the seemingly harmless words take a dark turn.

There’s something about quirky scripts that’s just – charming.  Both to indie audiences and script reviewers.  Think about it: Juno.  Scott Pilgrim Saves the World.  Napoleon Dynamite.  Seven Psychopaths. Sure, raw drama has its place. But write something with character and a touch of mystery?  When done right, the result is magic… a film that’ll stay with your viewers long after the lights have gone up and the curtain down.

A solid example of that genre, I Can See You tells the tale of sad sack mail worker Carson Fox. Beaten down by life, Carson lives with his no-good brother Frank and Shelby (Frank’s too-good-for-him wife.) Though secretly crushing on Shelby, Carson knows he has no chance.  But Carson’s fate is about to change.  Assigned a new postal route, Carson starts to see strange signs… cryptic messages painted on the sidewalk and walls. Telling him how to win Shelby. Urging him towards other – darker – things.  Has Carson finally gone postal? Or is there meaning behind the madness?

Written with a subtle, humorous touch, I Can See You offers the best of what “quirky” has to offer. A unique premise and memorable/relatable characters.  What more can you ask for in a script?

About the writer: An award winning writer AND photographer, Marnie Mitchell Lister’s website is available at brainfluffs.com.  Marnie’s had 5 shorts produced (so far) and placed Semi-final with her features in Bluecat.

Pages: 15

Budget: Medium.  There’s a variety of indoor and outdoor settings in this one… but not all that many characters.  And definitely nothing that requires FX.  Still – it’s not a script that an absolute newbie should attempt.  This one requires a touch of artistic experience.

READ THE SCRIPT HERE – AND DON’T FORGET TO COMMENT!!

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All screenplays are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. The screenplays may not be used without the expressed written permission of the author.

 

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    When an ex-thug falls in love with the woman of his dreams, he realizes he's made the biggest mistake of his life. 12 pages
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