LINES (5-page short thriller screenplay) by PAUL KNAUER

A mother and daughter, struggling to get by, find themselves eluding gangsters when their deadbeat, drug addicted husband/father can’t pay the gangsters the money they’re owed.

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER was the theme for Week Two of our annual writer’s tournament here at Simply Scripts, which saw many impressive entries – each writer was given a different genre and three items to include in each of their scripts. I assumed the theme was about loyalty to family in some form and, after reading several of the entries, my assumptions were correct.

One entry that caught my eye while also notching the top overall voting score was a cool little thriller called Lines, written by the very talented Paul Knauer. A Simply Scripts vet who’s had several scripts optioned and produced, Paul is no stranger to these challenges and tournaments, continuously placing high in many of them. I’ve already reviewed two of his entries – Potato Radio, an entry from the COVID themed May One Week Challenge, and Passwords, from the horror/sci-fi themed June One Week Challenge.

Paul, of course, was assigned to write something in the thriller genre while also being given the following three items to include in his script – ketchup packets, homemaker and an auto body shop. And not only did Paul seamlessly weave these items into his story, but each item actually played a major role in the plot.

Through the story’s opening visual, we immediately understand the title of Paul’s tale as we see some drug paraphernalia neatly lined up on a desk at an auto repair shop (criteria item #1). We’re introduced to Steve who, along with being a mechanic, is also a deadbeat father, awful husband and meddling drug dealer who owes his boss some money – rather than selling his product, he’s been partaking a little too much.

Back at their apartment, we’re then introduced to Steve’s wife, Leslie, the homemaker (criteria item #2) who desperately searches the empty cupboards and refrigerator, trying to find dinner for their eight-year-old daughter, Stella. Met with cobwebs, Leslie decides to gather some change and take Stella to a local fast food spot to order a burger off the dollar menu. But as they’re gone, two goons break into their apartment, searching for the stay-at-home mom and the little girl, most likely related to Steve’s money situation.

Meanwhile, Leslie and Stella are at the fast food spot, getting dinner. While the fast food clerk has their back turned, Stella snatches up a bunch of ketchup packets (criteria item #3) and stuffs them into her mother’s purse – this seems to be a routine for them while also being a strange way of mother and daughter bonding.

After leaving, Leslie sees the auto repair shop in the near distance and decides to take Stella there to pay Steve a visit. Unfortunately, Steve’s no-nonsense drug boss, Victor, has already beat them to the punch. Unbeknownst to Steve or Victor, Leslie eavesdrops from the other side of Steve’s office door.

Ouch, that’s gotta hurt. But Leslie’s got something else up her sleeve, finding a way to get back at her husband while ALSO eluding Victor and his goons. I won’t spoil it for you, but let’s just say those ketchup packets come very handy and play a major role in her plans.

Insanely clever, especially given the assigned criteria with one week to write, Lines is one that filmmakers and producers should be scrambling for. With a sensible budget and great characters, this could EASILY be filmed with social distancing in rules in effect.

BUDGET: Low to shoe string. Writing on a budget can be tricky when it comes to these writer’s tournaments where each writer is given a certain criteria to meet. But this one has a minimal cast and simple locations.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Paul is an optioned and produced screenwriter working out of the Kansas City area. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart, most of them about life in the Midwest U.S. His first script, a sitcom pilot titled OH, BROTHER!, placed second in the 2012 Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition and was subsequently optioned. Paul’s diverse portfolio includes several feature thrillers, a couple of comedy features and multiple sitcom pilots, as well as dozens of shorts across genres. He believes that becoming a better writer requires the ability to push personal boundaries. Paul can be reached at: pkcardinal (a) gmail.

Read: LINES (5-page short thriller screenplay)

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

LAW SCHOOL (6-page short thriller screenplay) by William David Glenn IV

A potential law student interviews an attorney about his craft, but as their discussion continues his true vengeful motives come to light.

Vengeance is a dish best served cold. And the vengeance in William David Glenn IV’s satisfying, one-location thriller, “Law School”, is served so cold, it’ll will give your taste buds frost bite. But like any plot for revenge, it is completely justified, especially in the eyes of the avenger – though it’s often a very thin line. Especially when the initial offender that originally sparked this act of revenge isn’t, sometimes, entirely at fault.

The offender in this tight little pot-boiler is a criminal defense attorney named Wilson Jacobs. As a criminal defense attorney, he is often seen as the scum of the Earth, making a living defending the worst of the worst – killers, swindlers, thieves, etc. Like many criminal defense attorneys, they’re often defending clients who are guilty. But, due to the law, they MUST do their jobs and DEFEND their clients to the best of their abilities, despite what their conscience might tell them. Although, in losing a case while defending a monster, sometimes it’s secretly a moral win for the defense lawyer. After all, justice was served, right?

Today, Wilson gets to take a little break from his normal conscience-challenging duties – his wife has set him up with an interview with a young lad who’s interested in attending law school named Logan Barton. But just as Logan enters the room with a couple cups of coffee for himself and Wilson, something seems off. As if Wilson recognized him from somewhere.

After a little small talk, the two get down to brass tacks with Logan openly recording the whole conversation (which Wilson agreed to).

Wilson looks back fondly on his 18-year career, though he’s had a few cases that took a toll on him due to the heavier-than-usual workloads they required. But at the end of the day, Wilson loves his job, telling Logan that “It’s tough, but rewarding”. He gives Logan a few golden nuggets of advice in regards to whether or not being a lawyer is something he should pursue or not.

But soon, their conversation gets a little more detailed and personal when Wilson tells the budding lawyer that he doesn’t regret any of the cases he took on – even the ones he screwed up.

And as the story slowly continues to unravel, we find out exactly who Logan is and why he’s there. And though we feel some sympathy for Wilson, the finale/act of vengeance feels earned and is completely satisfying, albeit twisted. Just goes to show, especially when your a criminal defense attorney, you should always do your job to the best of your abilities – the lives of others depend on it, and not just the defendant’s.

Crackling with tension, the payoff to this slow burn is worth the price of admission. Especially with social distancing in place, this would be a piece of cake to film.

BUDGET: Shoe-string. Just two actors, one location (a lawyer’s office).

ABOUT THE WRITER: William David Glenn IV is a filmmaker and screenwriter originally from Lexington, Kentucky and is now living in Los Angeles. He has been an avid (some may say obsessive) movie buff from his early days. Turning this passion for movies into creation, he has written, produced, directed, and/or edited a variety of independent projects; including a feature film titled “Ghost in the Family” which was picked up by ITN Distribution and is available to watch on Amazon Prime Video. There are multiple short scripts of various genres available to option from him on Simply Scripts (and more to come). William can be reached at: davidglennivscripts (a) gmail

LAW SCHOOL (6-page short thriller screenplay)

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

Dear Abby by Ashley Hamilton

Haunted by tragedy, a young woman struggles to return to normalcy.

It’s common to take for granted just how easy some of us have it. We pass folks in the store, on the street, or even have brief encounters without knowing what struggles some people may be going through. Every person has a story, and some of those stories are tragic.

Twenty-five year old, Abby Miles has experienced tragedy. As a result, she suffers from a variety of mental issues, and it’s held her back. But she has worked hard, and is determined to push through it. Abby is a strong female protagonist, who courageously decides to make up for lost time and attend college, even reside in a dorm. Her new roommate, Becky however, makes a snap judgment based on Abby’s age and appearance. She relays her thoughts to a friend:

            BECKY
She’s sooo weird!…. And Old!

            BECKY
She dresses like an Amish man. OMG

When Becky leaves for the night, we watch as Abby’s fears surface and her emotional issues fight to take over. You’ll find yourself wondering, is she just too far gone to have any kind of normal life? Is she delusional? Is she haunted by her past, or is it really coming back to get her? Abby’s strength will make you root for her, her struggle will make you sympathize. She is complex, and troubled…and you’ll find yourself just wanting her to be okay.

Mental illness is a silent struggle, and ABBY portrays that beautifully. This is a short drama that offers an excellent opportunity for a female lead to showcase many sides of herself.

Budget: This can be filmed on a very low budget, in basic locations like a bedroom.

About the Writer: Ashley Hamilton is attached to direct and star in the horror film Gothic Harvest.

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About the Reviewer: Marnie Mitchell-Lister has creative A.D.D. Some of her writing can be read here: BrainFluffs.com. Some of her photography can be seen here: marnzart.wordpress.com.

Whiteout on Route 89 by L. Chambers

Tragedy strikes when a cab driver becomes more focused on his troubled passenger than the icy road.

To be truly great at certain professions sometimes involves more than just being competent at the labor itself. For instance, that rare doctor who possess good bedside manner, and bartenders who listen and serve free words of wisdom along with your cocktail. Same goes for taxi drivers. The best ones get you to your destination, while offering an ear and their two cents.

Old Reg is one of those drivers. On a fateful winter night, Reg navigates through blustery conditions to get his fare, Edie, safely to her fiancé. He attempts to conversate, but Edie is reluctant. Through the rearview mirror, he observes several things: bruises, tears, and no engagement ring. Kind soul that he is, Reg tries to get Edie to open up.

            REG
You know they say taxi drivers are
like barkeeps and psychologists. Just
as much help only you don’t have pay
through the nose.

After a while, Edie can no longer hold it together. She begins to sob. Reg’s attention becomes more focused on Edie than the road, and he doesn’t see the deer that crosses their path. By the time he does, it’s too late. The road is too icy. Reg loses control and the cab crashes, landing in a ravine. They’re trapped. Reg is badly hurt but his focus remains on Edie as he attempts to keep her calm. Reg is definitely one of the “good ‘uns”. So genuinely kind he’d probably treat Edie the same…even if he knew the truth about her.

Reg and Edie are great characters and offer a wonderful opportunity for actors to showcase their craft. The crash and snow might be a challenge, but by no means impossible to recreate with a little imagination.

About the Writer L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: Marnie Mitchell-Lister has creative A.D.D. Some of her writing can be read here: BrainFluffs.com. Some of her photography can be seen here: marnzart.wordpress.com.

Keeping it Fresh (6 pages in pdf format) by Rick Hansberry

Ken and Ruth have done it all. Except this.

What are you willing to do to keep things fresh? That’s a question many couples in their 60s dare to ask, and Ken and Ruth do their best to answer.

Does Fresh mean honest? Or just exciting? And when the stakes are ‘whatever needs to be done to share one’s life’, how can a couple truly know?

As veteran writer Rick Hansberry’s script opens, we meet Ken and Ruth in their well worn family car; tersely discussing their “action plan.” Ruth’s awash with nerves – her hands playing with a folded piece of paper. Ken tries to be sensitive to her concerns, but fails miserably at every attempt.

Where is this duo going? And why?

Their destination – a grocery store. What on Earth could be nerve racking there?

Soon, we discover Ken and Ruth are in… a race. Of what kind? The truth’s unclear. But what unfolds next is a comedy of errors – a wondrous blend of anxiety and charm. Imagine the slapstick as Ken and Ruth dodge obstacles, friends, enemies, wet floors, and – of course – time.

What will the finish line reveal? We won’t spoil the surprise (or the produce). But you will find a warm, sophisticated comedy – ala a young June Squibb or Seymour Cassell.

This is a script with tons of buy-one-get-two-free.  Including: a budget friendly tale, featuring characters of a “specific” (and underrepresented) age. All of which makes this story stand out – and write it’s way into even old and jaded hearts.

Need some older actors? Consider giving your parents’ “cool” friends something to do for a day. But regardless of who you cast, you’ll charm your way into festivals with this Fresh, young-at-heart gem!

Budget: All that’s needed are two good actors, and access to a deli or supermarket – at least a few aisles.

About the writer: Rick Hansberry is a screenwriter, producer and director with more than 20 years of industry experience. His SAG Foundation award-winning Branches features narration by Daniel Stern and garnered international festival awards. In 2017 his thriller/horror film, Evil In Her was released on Amazon Video and Vimeo On Demand. His most recent short, inspired by true events, has won praise for its portrayal of one girl’s positive approach to handling her Type 1 Diabetes. You can view It’s Not Permanent free on YouTube. Rick has two shorts playing in the festival circuit now and has several other shorts and features available here and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618) and IMDB credits available here.

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About the reviewer: Rachel Kate Miller is a veteran of the feature animation industry, having worked on several Oscar winning films, bringing stories to life. In 2012, she left animation to move to Chicago and run the design department for President Obama’s reelection campaign. She is now living in New York, writing, consulting on various projects and creating an educational animated series for elementary students focused on engaging kids in science. Want to drop Rachel line? She can be reached at rachelkate.miller (a) gmail.

Where The Bad Kids Go by Sean Elwood

Like mother, like son

It’s been sixteen years since Jesse was taken away from his abusive, alcoholic mother after she had tried to kill him. When he hears of the news that she committed suicide, he returns to his childhood house for preparation to sell it, as well as confront his dark past once and for all. He soon discovers that something evil lurks within the depths of the house, and after all these years, it’s been waiting for him to return.

Where the Bad Kids Go begins with the BANG of a crawlspace door and doesn’t let go.

The entire script is packed with foreboding and slowly, over the course of events, fills with dread and tension in a cataclysmic finale.

The story delves into the mind of a man whose past comes back to haunt him, literally, and ends with a powerful finale that will both scare you and make you cry.

With moments of absolute terror, a wide character dynamic, and a haunting message, Where the Bad Kids Go can be the next big movie for this generation. Imagine The Babadook meets Hereditary, both successful horror movies that were also truly terrifying.

Production: This film can be made on a low to medium budget, apart from the big finale. There are three main characters (and eight smaller roles) and is the perfect character piece for up-and-coming actors. Male actor – Jesse at 8, 11 and mid twenties; Male actor – Marco at 11 and mid twenties; Helen – Mother – late 20s to mid forties; Other actors – Police, shitty boyfriend/father, and other minor roles. One primary location – dilapidated house and basement (and crawlspace!), with six locations total.

About the writer: Sean Elwood is well known for his knack of horror and suspense, creating a sense of dread and terror in the genre-specific screenplays he’s written. He has all the internets here: Website; IMDb; Twitter; Instagram; YouTube; SimplyScripts. He has written an anthology of short horror stories, AfterLife AfterDeath: Stories for the Dark, some of which have been turned into screenplays, including The Tooth Fairy and Emerald. Sean has previously been nominated and selected for his feature script I’m Still Here including a full script reading. He is currently working on a new feature, FLYTRAP, about six friends who take a trip to the mountains, only to find that the house they’re staying in is alive, and it needs to feed. Sean currently resides in Colorado with his dog, Henny; cat, Kit Kat; snakes, Lady Mondegreen and Noodle; and tarantulas, Felicia and Pumpkin.

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Script Contests: Horror Film & Screenplay Competition – Official Selection; WILDsound FEEDBACK Film and Screenplay Festival – Official Selection; Shriekfest – Quarter Finalist; Crimson Screen Horror Film Fest – Finalist

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Insomniac (12 page short thriller in pdf format) by David M Troop

A late night talk jock gets an unsettling caller.

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Hollywood and its inhabitants live in a crazy paradox. In one breath, they claim originality to be extinct. Yet they pan for it… daily. Then, when a true nugget of uniqueness is found, it’s immediately turned into a movie dating game:

“Think of it as Superman meets Super Fly!”

“The Godfather – meets George Burn’s Oh, God!”

“Mary Poppins Meets Mary Jane!”

(I think that last one actually happened. At least my hallucination-induced penguins say so.)

And David Troop’s hauntingly clever Insomniac could certainly be pitched in those terms. It’s “Play Misty for Me” meets “Se7en.” Now there’s an easy elevator sell. But I’d rather call it… screenplay gold!

Like many an evil tale, Insomniac begins at the edge of night. Late night talk show host Dave Burrows burns the late night oil in Philly – catering to listeners who’d rather not be listening, but have tuned in for multiple sorry reasons: “My husband snores.” “You catch the Eagles game, Dave?” In other words, they’re insomniacs. Sleep’s a distant memory.

But Dave’s rapport with his listeners soothes their woes… well, mostly. Treating each anonymous caller as a long-lost friend, his delivery is warm and glib. Especially when he gets a ring from “The Caller”, who tells him – “I’m having this nightmare. But I’m awake.” The Caller worries out loud that he’s gone crazy.

“No. Actually it sounds like my first marriage,” quips a weary Dave. “Get out and take a walk. Clear your head.” Spot on advice. Or so it seems.

Two weeks later, the “Caller” resurfaces. This time it’s to thank Dave for his sage advice. The Caller’s enjoyed his new practice of walking at night. Especially that time he met a freshman girl. “She looked young. Almost too young to be in college…”

The Caller trails off, his voice sinister. And Dave snaps instantly awake. Both he – and the reader – know immediately when this story’s heading. Details of a butterfly shaped toe ring. A foot tied to a bed. Muffled screams. And a bedpost slamming against a wall. Helpless to do anything, Dave (and his technicians) take the horrifying sounds in.

But ultimately – is it just a prank? A sleep-deprived man’s sick idea of humor? Or is the Caller horrifyingly real – leaving a mysterious trail of terror, wafting over the city like scattered radio waves? You’ll have to read Insomniac to find out. Inspiringly original, it’s a throwback to the golden age of terror and suspense. A case of “clever” meets “terrifying.”

Budget/casting: Locations minimal. A rented sound booth would be great, but any office setting will suffice. An apartment and a toe ring. Four actors…and a foot. Also, I immediately heard Kevin Spacey as the Caller. If you can get him, give HIM a call. Immediately!

About the writer: David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus. Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced. Dave would like to make it three. He was a regular, award-winning contributor to MoviePoet.com. Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 “AT” Gmail

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About the reviewer: An accomplished writer as well, Zack Zupke lives in Los Angeles. He can be contacted via email at zzupke “AT” yahoo

THE TOOTH FAIRY by James Barron

An enthusiastic young girl is about to learn the Tooth Fairy always exacts a price.

Childhood can be a magical time. Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny are the obvious standouts, but that special little nocturnal sprite we know as The Tooth Fairy, must also be given honourable mention.

Tinsel, fairy-dust, and chocolate eggs aside, it’s just a little bit creepy when you consider all three of these magical creatures come at night while we are sleeping.

Tradition has it when you lose your milk teeth as a child you should place the tooth under your pillow just before you nod off to sleep. In the morning, if you’re lucky, and you’ve been a good little girl or boy, you will wake to discover a delightful gift, usually one of the monetary kind – a small token symbolizing the beginning of your rite of passage from childhood into adulthood, courtesy of The Tooth Fairy.

Throughout history Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are depicted in pretty consistent good-guy fashion. The Tooth Fairy however can appear in many different guises – as male, female, with wings or wand, as pixie, dragon, ballerina, bat or rat, and commonly mouse – even, (according to Wiki,) as a ‘potbellied flying man smoking a cigar’! Huh?

Now, that’s really creepy.

Not nearly as creepy and macabre however, as the depiction of the titular character in James Barron’s one-page horror thriller – The Tooth Fairy.

One-page scripts are no easy task for writers but James Barron manages to skillfully weave a fully rounded tale with a shocking twist all in one page.

We open on Minka Avery, an excitable six year old girl (with a gap-toothed smile) waving a twenty-dollar note in front of her parent’s faces.

Look what the Tooth Fairy left! She exclaims.

The astonished looks on both parent’s faces tell us neither one of them left such a gift.

They stare at each other a moment, confused.

So what’s going on here? Where did this little windfall come from?

And why are Dad’s new pliers missing?

Filmmakers, are you looking for a micro-short in the horror genre with a denouement that will make your audience’s toes curl? Perhaps an entry for Shriekfest or Screamfest or one of the many other horror festivals going around? Well, look no further than James Barron’s, ‘The Tooth Fairy’. This is one tale you can definitely sink your teeth into.

Specs: One location, a nice house in the burbs. Four players – Mum, Dad, and a six year old exuberant little actress, and of course The Tooth Fairy – 50s, male.

About the writer: James loves to write comedy and action along with the occasional horror short. You can reach him at jbarron021 (a) gmail.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

SATNAV by Anthony Cawood

 A woman’s infidelity takes her on an unexpected journey.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned is how the old adage goes, but the latest research indicates men may in fact be sorer losers when it comes to love and war. Add twenty-first century technology into the mix as the latest weapon of revenge and things can get very dicey indeed.

In Anthony Cawood’s one-page thriller, Satnav, we open on 30-something, Sarah, driving along a deserted patch of road alone and late at night. Sarah’s just punched her location and presumably her destination into a high-tech device some of us like to call a Satnav – otherwise known as a GPS, or navigation assistant.

The question is: will she reach her destination?

She’s just received a text message from her husband, David, and he’s not happy.  Certain revelations regarding Sarah’s extra-curricular behaviour have come to light and it appears she has not been the model of a loving and faithful partner. As the text messages continue to come thick and fast and the Satnav guides Sarah on her journey we wonder will she make it to where she wants to go in one piece?

It’s no easy task to build suspense and create a fully fledged story in one-page but Anthony Cawood negotiates the twists and turns with skill and expertise in this tight micro-short thriller that’ll resonate and pack a punch with audiences.

Filmmakers: We know you have the drive and you’re dying to move off the starting blocks. All you need now is the vehicle. And here it is! Cut and polish in your own inimitable style and Satnav could be your short-cut to guaranteed success.

Specs: One talented 30-something female with a driver’s licence and attitude. A car, a lonely road in the middle of nowhere. A SatNav and accompanying V.O.

About the writer: Anthony Cawood is an award winning screenwriter from the UK with 4 short films produced and another 10 or so scripts optioned and/or purchased. Links to his films and details of his scripts can be found at www.anthonycawood.co.uk.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.