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Friday, October 28, 2016

Waterfall – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author KP Mackie

Waterfall (pdf format) by Marnie Mitchell

A couple’s constant arguing during a marathon has dire consequences.

Where do story ideas come from? Everywhere. A “what if” idea, a haunting song, a passing image in a mirror. Fleeting memories from childhood… When you’re a writer, everything is game. All you need is a fun idea, and a unique twist to make it fresh…

The inspiration for Waterfall comes from a bit of Americana we all share (and no, STS ain’t gonna tell.) That, and an element most of us can relate to: petty fighting and relationships.

…a couple struggle up a hillside; the last two in a long line. It’s a Warrior Dash type marathon, and neither one is doing well. On top of that, they’re bickering – the barbs getting more heated with every step. She’s thirsty. He dropped their water bottle and broke it. And now he’s slowing them both down. It’s her negative attitude, he replies. He’s tired of the constant bitching…

The fighting escalates to fever pitch. Then, finally, something gives.

A rock – under her feet. Plunging them both into peril. Especially when he loses his footing as well….

Is Waterfall a survivalist drama? Not exactly. More like a tongue in cheek homage. Once the situation escalates, the inspiration comes clear – driven home by the final line before Fade Out.

If you’re a director that enjoys puns in visual form, Waterfall’s likely to be your cup of tea – a twinkling star of a comedy sketch, bringing a smile to the face of jaded readers…

Pages: 3

Budget: Minimal. Locate a hill, and a fit couple willing to do some physical activity. Not a monumental challenge.

About the Writer: An award winning writer AND photographer, Marnie Mitchell’s website is available at BrainFluffs.com. Marnie’s had 5 shorts produced (so far) and placed Semi-final with her features in BlueCat. Marnie can be contacted via her website.

About the reviewer: California uber reader/reviewer KP Mackie is working hard on her animated feature and maybe an update to her bio?

Read Waterfall (PDF format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Allured – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Rustom Irani

Allured (pdf format) by Pii (Π) Anttonen

An eerie castle, dribbling candles, a lost officer and a bunch of ghosts. You know… the usual stuff.

“What is a ghost? A tragedy condemned to repeat itself time and again?” – From Guillermo Del Torro’s “El Espinazo Del Diablo”

There’s something truly tragic about Ghosts. More than zombies, monsters and human serial kllers, ghosts feed on a viewer’s empathy. Phantasms that were once human… now condemned to suffer in eternity. When faced with a creature such as this, how can one not feel sympathy?

Especially with classic ghost tales, like Allured. Set in an Austrian castle, the script opens as Sergeant Franz stumbles to the door, battle beaten and weary. Although Franz is a stranger to the household, old servant Frederich lets him in – offering shelter from the war. The caretaker leads Franz towards an upstairs bedroom. He’s watching it for his master’s return, he tells his guest. They’re the sole inhabitants of the castle: Franz is sure to get some uninterrupted sleep.

Or will he?

Shortly after turning in for the night, Franz encounters a strange woman in his bed.* When he attempts to wake her, his hand goes through her body! He races to Frederich’s quarters to inform him of the intruder. But Frederich insists it was a dream – and implores the sergeant to go back to sleep. Needless to say, sleep proves to be… elusive. When Franz returns to his room, the woman is gone. But children’s footsteps echo in the hall. And then there are the sounds downstairs. Almost like a – party? Franz heads for the dining room to confront his fears, unsure what he’ll find…

Though once a staple of the horror genre, ghost stories have become a rare breed. Stylishly written with a touch of humor, Allured harkens back to a classier time in movies. When films were shot in black and white… and curtains blowing in the breeze brought a tingle to one’s spine. Perhaps that time has come again: in a cinematic world filled with slasher and torture porn shorts, Allured would be sure to stand out in festivals!

* Sleeping. That’s it! This is a classic ghost tale, folks – get your minds out of the gutter!

Pages: 8

Budget: Not quite as impossible as it seems. While the castle location, costumes and extras may seem daunting for production purposes, there are plenty of possible “cheats.” If skillfully applied, stock footage, generic “stone wall” spaces and just a touch of camera tricks could be all the set you need!

About the writer: Pii Anttonen (first name pronounced like Π, not like the bathroom activity) was previously known by some other name and while being being busy with that, edited the Voice Over online scriptwriting magazine, worked on several virtual shows, won a Simply Scripts One Week Challenge once and had some shorts produced. These days her writing duties consist mainly of writing on commission for production companies and groups, knowing full well that it’s unlikely that anything will see the light of day, but accepts that that kind of is what the scriptwriting job is. She can be reached at pii.anttonen (a) gmail.com!

About the reviewer: A film and video aficionado based in Mumbai, Rustom Irani works as a freelance editor and screenwriter for projects ranging from narratives, commercials, and documentaries to corporate and music videos. His website is available at PlanetRusty.com, and he can be reached at rustyirani “AT” gmail.com!

Read Allured (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Til Death – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author The Merrows

’Til Death (pdf format) by Rick Hansberry

A marital tiff erupts to epic proportions…

Married couples can find s-o-o-o many things to bicker about. Toilet seat up, toilet seat down, stop hogging the covers, I-don’t-like-the-panties-drying-on-the-rod*. You know, that sort of thing.

For Paul and Jenna, it’s the fancy towels — specifically, how could Paul have had the audacity to actually use them, when he knows damn well they were Jenna’s favorite wedding gift!

In this wildly humorous short, award winning screenwriter Rick Hansberry zeroes in on just how crazy domestic skirmishes can get. As the battle lines in this tale are drawn, Paul and Jenna find every possible way to push each others’ buttons: power tools, flushing the toilet while the shower’s being used, and multiple viewings of Sex and the City (oh, the Humanity!) Reminiscent of Woody Allen or Neil Simon, the snarky, quick witted dialogue escalates to def-con four quickly. It begins with a raging thunderstorm – and ends with a wild-west shootout. Including cleavage. And power tools.

A sneering, jeering bundle of fun, ‘Til Death is totally character driven, and super simple to produce. Did we mention relatable? Well, for some of us it is… 🙂

Pages: 5

Budget: Micro.

About the writer: Rick Hansberry has written/produced several short films, including the SAG Foundation award-winning Branches. He teaches screenwriting seminars and workshops in the Central Pennsylvania area and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618). IMDB credits.

About the reviewers: Scott & Paula Merrow are a husband and wife screenwriting team. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy,… the whole nine yards. They’re reachable at scott-paula “AT” comcast.net

* Especially during that time of month, when my friends are coming over for the game.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Mendelevium – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author The Merrows

Mendelevium (pdf format) by Erich VonHeeder

A “Battle of the Bands” helps two lead singers find love.

Mendelevium. It’s a synthetic element on the Periodic Table. Atomic Number: 101.

Don’t let the title lead you astray. There’s little science in Erich Von Heeder’s script, Mendelevium.

But tons of chemistry.

Incredibly engaging, Mendelevium is totally character-driven: an interview of Delores and Levi, two lead singers in rival punk rock bands.

When the couple first meet, it’s hate at first sight – an animosity of biblical proportions. As Delores articulates: “I was overcome with hatred for him. Like deep, blinding…” A helpful Levi completes the thought: “Murderous. Murderous hatred.”

…a hatred which escalates to an on-stage scuffle, after Delores throws a pound of cocaine at Levi. Followed by a night in jail. Talk about auspicious first dates!

“Where did you get a pound of cocaine?” their puzzled interviewer queries.

“Where do fish get scales?” Delores replies. “I don’t know. I’m a rock star, dude.”

Holding hands, the couple reminisce about their whirlwind romance, shortly after making bail. Delores: “We were hotter than a pequin pepper. A rare pepper that grows in the remote Andes Mountains of Chile, and if you even touch it to your mouth you die.”

Levi rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t exist,” he confides to the camera.

Imagine a punk rock reboot of When Harry Met Sally… that’s Mendelevium in a nutshell. Packed with witty dialogue, the script is funny, fresh – a standout vignette of two non-conformists in love. As Levi says, “Love’s a jester, man.” And a script like this is bound to shine.

Pages: 5

Budget: Low-medium. All that’s needed is an interview room, an indie rock “stage”, a handful of crowd extras – and a couple with great chemistry.

About the writer: A humble denizen of Seattle (home of some amazing rock bands) talented writer Erich VonHeeder can be reached at erich_vonheeder(a)yahoo.com

About the reviewers: Scott & Paula Merrow are a husband and wife screenwriting team. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy,… the whole nine yards. They’re reachable at scott-paula(a)comcast.net

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Xolotl’s Curse – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Pete Barry

Xolotl’s Curse (pdf format) by Chris Keaton

Some lessons are learned the hard way…

Ah. Lessons taught by the horror genre. No matter how often they splatter across the silver screen, so rarely are they taken to heart. Don’t go on that isolated camping trip with your friends. Don’t answer that phone call while babysitting. Don’t open the creaky closet door. Leave that creepy-ass looking doll alone.

And don’t play with artifacts hidden under your grandpa’s bed. Well, we guess some folks will never learn…

Case in point: Xolotl’s Curse.

Billy’s Grandpa is a foul-mouthed, misogynistic bully who constantly berates Billy’s mom and emasculates his dad. In other words, he’s your usual relative. Now he’s moving in. And he has secrets.

See, Grandpa’s an old archaeologist – pushing 100, although he doesn’t look a day over 75. He’s keeping an ancient Aztec box locked up in his room that may belong to Xolotl, god of the dead and bad luck. Billy tries again and again to get his hands on the box. But Grandpa is always one step ahead of him. But some secrets are better left buried…

Chris Keaton – an old hand at clever macabre stories – sets this tale of terror in the day-to-day life of suburbia, with a keen ear for the trash-talking dialogue between a 12-year old and an old man who may as well be squabbling kid brothers. Despite the topic, this script’s got a slow, subtle (and often funny) burn – building to a chilling conclusion.

What happens next? Well, we’re keeping this review short and sweet. No spoilers for you lazy folks out there. Crack this one open far before Halloween arrives, and savor its bloody twist for yourself.

Xolotl’s Curse. A perfect script for either a seasoned horror director or any up-and-coming filmmaker who wants to dabble in the genre.

Pages: 14

Budget: The script is light on the special effects budget, but you’ll want a good makeup artist who does their best work with some fake blood and a nail gun. Sets include one car scene and one house, and a multi-generational family of four – mom, dad, little Billy, and Grandpa.

About the writer: Chris Keaton is an Air Force veteran living with his family in sunny Arizona. He’s primarily a screenwriter, but he does love diving into prose. He has had several short screenplays produced and go on to win awards. He’s optioned a few features screenplays and currently has a thriller feature in post-production. A young-adult novel based on one of his screenplays is soon to be released. You can see some of his projects on his website, Chris-Keaton.com or follow him on Facebook at Facebook.com/ChrisKeaton.

About the reviewer: Pete Barry is an award-winning screenwriter, playwright, actor, director and musician. His short plays have been published in numerous collections. He’s also a cofounder of the Porch Room, a film and theater production company, website available at http://www.porchroom.com/. Please feel free to reach out to him with script requests at petebarry27 (a) Hotmail.

Read: Xolotl’s Curse (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Home Field – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author The Merrows

Home Field (pdf format) by Rod Thompson

Two brothers play an innocent game of baseball – unaware that life as they know it is about to end…

The best war films aren’t about war. At least not completely. As with all good drama, such tales are really about people. War may provide the backdrop – but highlighting the human experience is the true content. The good, the bad, the ugly. The heroic.

On the surface, Home Field displays the gritty trappings of war. But the beating, bleeding heart of it is a testament to the indomitable spirit of man. In this case, two brothers. Richie and younger brother Jamie.

When we first meet them, they’re just boys – facing off in a heated game of little league baseball. Jamie knocks Richie’s best pitch deep into the outfield…. Then their friendly rivalry’s interrupted in the worst possible way. A missile streaks overhead like a comet, and explodes nearby.

War has come. Their childhood ended.

Eight years later, the two are veteran soldiers; fighting a bloody ground war on home soil. Richie drags his wounded brother away from battle – ironically across the same baseball field. Jamie’s been wounded critically; he’s unable to even stand. As the two debate their next move, they recall the last time they were on that field. The smell of the grass. The crack of the bat… all memories that they (and upcoming generations) may never experience again. War is hell for a great many reasons; and one of the victims is innocence. Being on the field slams the message painfully home. But there’s no time for weeping. But perhaps there is time for one souvenir.

Bowing to his brother’s wish, Richie retrieves a precious object from the field. Then – as Jamie protests – he jams a syringe into his brother’s leg. Slings him over his shoulder and slogs away.

After all, one can’t live in a memory. And there’s a war to fight.

Pages: 5

Budget: Low – Moderate; depending on how much wartime FX you choose to incorporate. Missiles. Explosions. Shots of planes. Much of which could be implied.

About the writer, Rod Thompson: I have been writing creatively since I learned how to write. There is just something about telling a story that I can never get over. Storytelling in itself is like an old flame that occasionally comes to me and just says, “Use me.” The ability to watch a movie through words, or to craft a world in such a manner is the closest to Godliness that man will ever come. True story. Contact Rod at RodThompson1980 (a) gmail.com

About the reviewer: Scott Merrow co-writes screenplays with his wife Paula. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy… the whole nine yards. Wanna give them a shout out? They’re available at scott-paula (a) comcast.net

Read Home Field (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

A Woman Scorned – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Zach Jansen

A Woman Scorned (pdf format) by Marnie Mitchell

A detective investigating a serial killer prostitute finds his fidelity tempted… again.

Murder mysteries have evolved over the years. They’re darker. More violent. Yet certain constants persevere. Whether one’s tastes run to Murder on the Orient Express or Se7en, nothing beats a twisty plot…

…but colorful characters come damned close.   Sure, the question “Whodunnit” will always rein supreme. But “Whydunnit’s” the icing on the cake. The better murder yarns ask both questions. And the best ones answer them.

A Woman Scorned does all that – in a wonderfully gritty fashion.

The script opens on protagonist Dan – a worn out, veteran police detective desperate for transfer from Vice Squad. He and rookie partner John have been called in to assist on a homicide. The victim: a man strapped to the blood stained bed, suffocated with duct tape. Short a left ring finger and wedding band. The digit’s been chopped off with shears. Clearly, this is one hooker with an axe to grind against married men. Fortunately for the cops, she left a clue: a few strands of long black hair.

Following the evidence, Dan journeys to the seedy side of town to interrogate possible suspects. Along the way, he runs into Rebecca – a raven haired prostitute he has history with. History that almost destroyed his marriage. Like an addict weaned from the needle, Dan’s clearly not over Rebecca or his philandering ways. Will Dan crack the case before he drowns in old bad habits – and before other victims die?

Smoothly written, A Woman Scorned features complex characters and a nifty mystery. Custom made for a director of modern noir.

Page Count: 9

Budget: Low to medium. Four main cast members and extras. There are three main locations, including a hotel/motel room, police vehicle; and minor blood effects.

About the Writer: An award winning writer AND photographer, Marnie Mitchell’s website is available at BrainFluffs.com. Marnie’s had 5 shorts produced (so far) and placed Semi-final with her features in BlueCat. Marnie can be contacted via her website.

About the reviewer: Zach Jansen is an award-winning and produced screenwriter from Saint Paul, Minnesota.  He enjoys spending time with his kids, anything movies, and sitting at his desk pounding out his next script.  If for some reason you want to learn more about him – which of course you DO! – you can check out his IMDb page or quasi-frequently updated blog. He can be reached at Zach.Jansen (a) mail.com

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, October 3, 2016

First Kiss – Sold - post author Ingrid Short

Twisted, Freaky, One-Page HORROR ALERT!

Don’t hesitate with this one as it won’t be on the shelf long. This is an Anthony Cawood short and a one-pager to boot!

Anthony’s slick writing style lulls the reader into a false sense of security as he opens with two teenage siblings sitting in their bedroom at home, as they are wont to do, checking out the internet to learn stuff. It gets a little weird when we discover that they are brother and sister, and that the brother is actually checking out images and videos on how to kiss properly.

Don’t worry…………………………………………………………………………….. it gets weirder!

As the brother turns to his sister, pleased that he was correct all along – that people do use tongues when kissing – we discover that all is not well with his sister.

Ew. Just, ew. It made me shiver. It’s shockingly sick and done without any special effects, violence or anything overtly sexual. What sells this short to me is how subtly it’s done. The viewer is left to fill in the obvious gaps themselves.

This will be a breeze to film. Just two young actors. Indoors. Single location. With some good preparation, a small crew could film this in a day – maybe even during a break period while filming something else.

If this is something you can see yourself producing or directing, then contact the writer using his email on the front page of the script. You better be quick.

Review by Ingrid Short

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Hold Your Breath – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author KP Mackie

Laptop-Shorts

“Hold Your Breath”

An aspiring producer creates a unique way to deliver his pitch.

“Sell your story, sell yourself. Be creative, be brief.” And above all, be unique.

Ahhh, crafting an effective pitch. Ever hear about the writer who sent his shoe and a note — “To meet the talented one-shoe writer…” — with his contact information? How about the scribe who arrived with buckets of chicken for producers, only to ask them to supply the napkins? Or, the guy who handed the exec a softball — an actual ball — and declared, “Here’s my ‘soft pitch’ of an idea.”

Going up?

In the short, “Hold Your Breath, prolific writer Rick Hansberry flips the proverbial elevator pitch right on its head. As the story opens, aspiring reality-show creator Jason (24) corners a senior producer in the elevator. The fast-talking kid manipulates his way into the exec’s office, and drops the name of the producer’s boss — network chairman “Don” — who Jason claims is family friend, “Uncle Don.”    

Security is summoned, and Jason threatened with arrest. Does the name-dropping fly? Armed with only 30 seconds and charm, will Jason propel his reality-show concept all the way to the top? And what is this breath-stopping concept anyway? Let’s just say, the story’s surprise employs a trick that’s one for the books…

“HYB” is a clever and fun comedy riff, delivering a creative spin to the traditional elevator pitch that we’re all so painfully familiar with. The doors are wide open — come on in!

About the writer: Rick Hansberry has written/produced several short films, including the SAG Foundation award-winning “Branches.” His first feature is set to be released in the summer of 2014. Trailer available here . He teaches screenwriting seminars and workshops in the Central Pennsylvania area and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618) and IMDB credits available here.

Page Count: 5

Budget: Low. Quick shots inside an elevator, a producer’s “office”, a cast of three, plus a couple extras to portray security guards. Plenty of elbow room.

About the guest reviewer for “Hold Your Breath”: California uber reader/reviewer KP Mackie is working hard on another animated feature. Maybe John Lasseter’s in the elevator Rick envisioned for his story? Hey, um, Rick? –

READ THE SCRIPT HERE – AND DON’T FORGET TO COMMENT!!

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All screenplays are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. The screenplays may not be used without the expressed written permission of the author.

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