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Friday, February 17, 2017

The Deuce – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Zach Zupke

The Deuce (10 pages in pdf format) by R. E. McManus

An elevator and two guys on their way up. What can go down?

We’ve all been there. A hundred times, some of us more than a thousand. It’s the world’s most uncomfortable space. Some are boxy, most rectangular. Fans, no fans. Carpeted or tiled. Mirrored or paneled. But always stuffy, cramped and slower than slow is: the infamous elevator ride.

I recently (true story alert) took a ride in my office building all the way from the penthouse to the ground floor. One floor down, six people shuffled in – one holding a newly-peeled banana, which she consumed as we descended. Ever peel a banana in a closet? With 10 other people present? Not an ideal situation for the senses. And that’s putting it mildly.

The situation is similarly far from appealing (pun alert) for Dominic Barry’s elevator ride in R. E. McManus’ “The Deuce,” a riveting and witty 10-page journey starting with:

“The sound of a body being dragged over concrete.”

The body is Dom’s and the draggers are Joey, 22-year-old scowler, and his pal Chrissy, “The type who could chew a toothpick without looking stupid.” Chrissy’s the brains of the operation, the sole purpose of which is: deliver Dom to the eighty-eighth floor.

Problem is, Dom’s not awake and Joey and Chrissy (think distant, but equally witty, cousins of Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega) differ on the importance of his consciousness.

            JOEY
Maybe I should wake him up.

            CHRISSY
You can ravish him for all I care.

Joey looks disgusted.

            JOEY
There’s no need to be so, so base.

There’s a “ding” as floor number 40 unexpectedly lights up. Chrissy pulls Joey tight to shield Dom as the doors open. Nothing. It’s a misfire in the mechanics. Doors close, and they resume ascending… just as poor Dom stirs. Joey and Chrissy pull out their silencers, an act which fails to silence Dom. He demands to know how he’s found himself bruised and battered in a dressing gown, plastic cable ties around his hands and feet.

“You’re David Barry and we’re taking you to John Feltz,” they tell him. Duh.

“I’m Dominic Barry and who is John Feltz?” Dom replies.

So the elevator rises, along with everyone’s blood pressure. Who is John Feltz? Is Dom really Dom, not David? Or is he just lying to stay alive? What will Feltz do if they deliver the wrong man? And why is the elevator stopping on the wrong floor yet again, this time on 70? Will all three men make it to the top?

You’ll be floored when you read the entirety of “The Deuce,” a suspenseful ride filled with exceptional dialogue. It’s an excellent opportunity for the right director and capable actors. Interest in this gem is sure to be…going up.

Budget: Minimal. Find a mate who works in an office building to let you in for a day on the weekend. Just make sure his last name’s not Feltz.

About the writer: R.E. McManus was born in England, of Irish roots. Hence he was always a little confused. He has since travelled the globe, and noted what he saw on his travels. He’s been writing since he could pick up a pen. The fact they were IOUs is neither here nor there.

He fell in love with film when he first saw 2001: A Space Odyssey at the age of six. Although he’s still not sure about the spelling of Odyssey. It’s still looks wrong,

He loves Fincher, Hitchcock and Kubrick. And Faith No More. And Elvis. He even has a dog named after him. This seemed like a good idea until he went to the park.

Visit his webstie at: rendevous.yolasite.com. Or email him directly at redarcy2000 (a) yahoo.co.uk

About the reviewer: Zack Zupke is a writer in Los Angeles. He can be contacted via email at zzupke “AT” yahoo

Read The Deuce (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Enchanted Quill – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Steve Miles

Enchanted Quill (10 pages in pdf format) by Mark Renshaw

A troubled young woman seeking answers about her dark past discovers a magic software app that allows her to make wishes comes true, but at a price – each wish costs her a fraction of her soul.

Fairytales play on our most primal of fears; from our moral anxieties and deepest desires to the monsters lurking in our subconscious they resonate through the ages to serve as warnings to the frailty of human nature.

            MILLY (V.O.)
Once upon a time there was a little
Princess who was betrayed by her
Prince Charming.

Milly was once a young, free-spirited innocent – that was until she met Malcolm:

            YOUNGER MALCOLM
Your parents said they would be late.
They asked me if I could give you a
lift home.

Unwittingly accepting the ride, Milly finds her young life locked in a cycle of tragedy and abuse as she’s passed from one monster to another.

The years pass and the abusers move on leaving Milly to struggle with the horrors of her childhood. One day she stumbles upon the dark web where a magic app called The Enchanted Quill gives her the promise of revenge. Of course, a deal like this comes at a price, but what’s 5% of your soul per wish when sweet vengeance is at stake?

And this is where we join the tale. Not in an enchanted kingdom in a land far away but an abandoned warehouse with Malcolm and cohorts trapped and Milly able to control their every action with the aid of The Enchanted Quill.

And this Princess is in no mood for forgiveness:

            MILLY
Fuck yeah! Let’s get the endgame
rolling. Enchanted Quill obey my
whim, give Malcolm a compound arm
fracture, through the skin! Woo, I
did a poem!

Milly proceeds to recount her tale, jumping from the past to the present as she puts her tormentors through their own personal hell. From the visceral to the surreal: fingernails are removed, arm bones are gnawed on and in a nod to the source material the repetition of mundane tasks takes the form of torture. Imagine taking off your shoes only to put them back on again…over and over and over…

Writer Mark Renshaw draws out the darker aspects of a little known fairytale called The Enchanted Quill to deliver a uniquely modern tale of retribution replete with monsters, tortured souls and unflinching violence. If you like to wring every last drop of blood from your horror then this is for you.

Budget: Four characters. Simple enough location wise with one main room and a handful of exterior shots informing the flashbacks. Plenty of gore on this one so experience with make-up and some creative effects would be a bonus. Based on The Enchanted Quill

About the writer Mark Renshaw In 2015, a short film he wrote and produced No More Tomorrows won several awards on the film festival circuit. He also won a ‘Top Pick’ award for his short script, ‘Automatic Drive’ in the finals of Reel Writers Competition.

His second film Surrender was released in September 2016. It has won Exceptional Merit awards for best Short Film, Writer, Lead Actor and Original Score in the Depth of Field International Film Festival.

‘Surrender’was most recently showcased in the Awareness Film Festival in Los Angeles and will feature in the Sunderlands Film Festival in May.  

Mark is currently working on producing his next script, a sci-fi short called ‘The Survivor.’ Filming is due to start in Milwaukee in mid-March.

You can check out his work on his website at Mark-Renshaw.com and on Mark’s Script Revolution profile.

About the reviewer: Steve Miles started writing scripts around five years ago after realizing that his social life was vastly overrated. He enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit – from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount of plaid and uses a calculator for the most basic of sums. Check out more of his work at sjmilesscripts.webs.com

Read Enchanted Quill (10 pages, pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Free – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author David M Troop

Free (76 page Sci Fi Drama in pdf format) by Paul J. Williams

An honor student begins the next phase of his life.

If time travel was scientifically possible, what would you do? Really?

Would you change the course of human history? Or simply go back and tell someone you loved them – one last time? Would you prevent a horrific accident from occurring, saving thousands of lives? Or spend the day with one special person, and change their life forever?

Time travel and its possibilities – it’s been the theme of some of the most popular movies in history (in a variety of genres): The Terminator travels back in time to eliminate an enemy by killing his mother. In Groundhog’s Day, an egotistical weatherman relives the same day again and again – until he learns the true meaning of love.

In his short script “Free”, Paul Williams explores a question we’ve all asked ourselves. What if we could go back and time, and undo a costly mistake?

Although only eighteen, Robert McKenna has a lifetime of accomplishment ahead of him. A brilliant and promising merit scholar, Robert studies quantum physics – specializing in the theory of time-travel. Staying at home with his mother and younger brother Timmy (12), Robert’s preparing for a four year trip. He whiles away the remaining hours working on equations and algorithms… making sure they’re absolutely right.

But Timmy won’t let him be. Seeking his big brother’s attention, he pesters Robert with questions. About the possibilities of time travel. And Robert’s own plans for the future. Has his big brother found a gateway to the past? And if so… what’s his motivation?

Free may have the sheen of Science Fiction. But at heart, it’s a tragedy. About families. Grief, loss and regret. And wishing you could solve life’s problems with a mathematical solution. If only it was that easy.

This is a script that every skilled director wishes for: subtle and deeply touching, with layers of rich symbolism. Properly brought to the screen, it’ll haunt your audiences for a long time.

Budget: Low to moderate. One location: an upper middle-class home. And a pet bird. (Don’t ask – just read the script!)

About the writer: Paul J. Williams is a New Jersey-based multi-award-winning screenwriter, producer, and director with several scripts in various stages of film production. He has been a member of the New Jersey Screenwriter’s Group since 2009. His latest movie, Case #5930, which he wrote and produced, was released in 2015.

He has also served as a decorated law enforcement officer for the past eighteen years, both as a Federal Officer with the U.S. Department of Justice and as a Police Officer for the City of Newark, N.J.

He can be reached at pauljwilliams9 (a) yahoo. Check out his IMDB page.

About the reviewer: David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus. Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced. Dave would like to make it three. He is a regular, award-winning contributor to MoviePoet.com. Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 (a) gmail.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Passage – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Guest Reviewer

Passage (18 pages in pdf format) by Zach Jansen

The road to Hell is paved with long hallways…

Nothing beats a mystery for getting a reader (and film audience’s) attention. Think about scripts that have truly captured the world’s imagination in recent years: Memento. Source Code. And if you can go low budget, that’s even more gravy on one’s indie plate… Case in point, the tiny SF piece de resistance entitled Moon.

Of course, Moon’s taken. And filmed. Fortunately, it’s not the only gem on the marketplace. ‘Cause Passage is available.

A micro-budget mind twister, Passage opens with our lead (Tommy, 20s), waking up in an unfamiliar hallway. Jessa hovers over him, asking if he’s okay. The two quickly meet cute, and venture out into a maze of generic hallways – seeking an exit to escape. And those hallways go on forever. Until they encounter Mike. And he’s no stranger. Turns out he’s Jessa’s ex. And when Mike sees Tommy, he ain’t too pleased. A few harsh words and misunderstandings later, and Mike knocks poor Tommy out cold.

Tommy wakes up soon after – Jessa hovering over him. Like a rewound VHS, the scene starts to replay, same as before. But Tommy remembers some of it. And everything looks so damned familiar….

The scenario plays out, again and again. Like a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ book, Tommy tries new actions each time. With the unfortunate same result. Knocked out stone cold. On the floor.

…until Tommy decides to fight back. He won’t let Mike get the upper hand this time. Will Tommy find a way out of the maze? Or suffer limbo for eternity?

Think of Passage as Groundhog Day on a micro budget. Only three actors needed, and a generic hallway. It’s a lot of premise, packed into a tiny space. Which makes this one a script you gotta see!

Budget: Minimal. Seriously: three actors and a few long hallways – that’s all you need for this one!

About the writer: Zach Jansen is an award-winning and produced screenwriter from Saint Paul, Minnesota. He enjoys spending time with his kids, anything movies, and sitting at his desk pounding out his next script. If for some reason you want to learn more about him, you can check out his IMDb page or quasi-frequently updated blog.

About the reviewer: Going by the handle “medstudent”, Joseph can be found at Simplyscripts and his script Last Chance has been filmed.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Beacon Calling – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Dane Whipple

Beacon Calling (11 pages in PDF format) by Chris Keaton

How far would you go to save humanity?

Ping.

Three world-worn wanderers walk wearily through a white winter wasteland. They are John, Noah, and Wilda, and their only guide is the small metal box with the flashing red light.

Ping.

Driven on by the incoming signal, our three explorers are obviously on an important and dangerous mission. Pausing briefly to appraise their situation, they discuss turning back. They are, after all, running low on supplies, and out there, somewhere in the darkness..someTHING is stalking them. Beaten both emotionally and physically, the three realize that there is no decision to be made: if they fail their mission, they’re all dead anyway.

Ping. Ping.

The signal is getting closer…but so is the creature! The group presses on, into the unknown. Where are they heading, and just what have they left behind? And WHAT is this creature!!

Are you getting a sense of the tension in this script? I hope so, because you may want to pop a Xanax before reading. Sled tracks, bloody footprints in the snow, a discarded iPod. The mystery deepens with each visceral image. And if it sounds like I’m being vague, don’t worry, it’s only because I don’t want to spoil the surprise ending.

Get ready for an eleven-minute panic attack, because Beacon Calling is a master class in suspense writing. A slow-build tense thriller filled with all the mystery and intensity of the best episodes of Lost, set in a Mad-Max-in-the-snow style wasteland (take note, George Miller!). This is one script guaranteed to keep your audience on edge, and keep them guessing until the shocking finale. They won’t know what hit them. Directors, come in from the cold and grow something sinister out of this script.

Ping. Ping. Ping!!!

Budget: Low. Location may be tricky, since it is set in snow. But as long as your production doesn’t go all Revenant on you, costs are reasonable. (Plus, there IS a desert version of this available as well…!)

About the writer: Chris Keaton is an Air Force veteran living with his family in sunny Arizona. He’s primarily a screenwriter, but he does love diving into prose. He has had several short screenplays produced and go on to win awards. He’s optioned a few features screenplays and currently has a thriller feature in post-production. A young-adult novel based on one of his screenplays is soon to be released. You can see some of his projects on his website, Chris-Keaton.com or follow him on Facebook at Facebook.com/ChrisKeaton.

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple: put the coffee down, coffee is for closers. He is currently working on that screenplay everybody keeps talking about: The Wild Age. Contact him at dane.whipple (a) live.com

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Super Janet – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Gary Rowlands

Super Janet (27 pages in pdf format) by Kay Poiro

Winner 2014 International Family Film Festival for Best Screenplay Short Sci-Fi / Fantasy

An ascerbic teen discovers she’s – a little different

Any you guys know what superhero movies such as Batman, Spider-Man, Iron Man and Superman have in common?

Well, for starters they’re amongst the biggest movie franchises of all time! These cinematic treats have grossed BILLIONS of dollars at the box office! Moviegoers are drawn to their local Cineplex ‘faster than a speeding bullet’ each time their favorite crime fighter does battle with some dastardly villian hell-bent on wreaking chaos and destruction on our pitiful, fragile lives.

But – at the risk of stating the obvious – there’s another shared factor at play. To put it bluntly, they’re all GUYS.

Men gifted with special powers and skills.

Whilst this makes for great entertainment (if you’re anything like me) it’d be nice to see a different kind of superhero for a change.

How about a complete underdog? Someone who can’t leap from a tall building, spin a web or fly? An ordinary schoolgirl, perhaps? At least, she thinks she’s ordinary. And who has a legitimate reason to wear tights.

Well, then – you’re in luck. Because Super Janet’s on the scene. Written by talented scribe Kay Poiro, this tongue-in-cheek script bursts with witty dialogue – enough to give The Avenger’s Joss Whedon a run for his money.

Our titular Janet’s just 14. A bit sarcastic, and struggling to pass algebra. Or understand her parents, Jack and Chrissy. (Jack, Janet and Chrissy. Think about that a minute. Won’t you?)

On the eve of her birthday, Chrissy drops a surprise on her daughter. Janet’s fifteenth birthday is around the corner. And her parents have planned an animal themed party. With a pinata. And they’ve invited the school lunch lady! Janet cringes. It’s totally lame. And pinatas? They give her the willies!

Needless to say, things couldn’t get worse. That is, until it does.

A strange man – Mr. Furley – shows up at school… and drops the real bombshell on our teen. You see, Janet’s really an alien. She’s had this ability to move things with her mind for years – but hey, why ask unnecessary questions? Her “parents” adopted her from the government when she was just an egg (getting a sweet new backyard shed in the bargain). But now aliens from her homeworld have arrived. A flotilla of warships orbit the Earth with a fearsome demand. Yo – hand over the girl. Or they’re gonna go bad-ass gangsta on humanity.

And Janet’s the only one who can stop them.

A kinda rude wake-up call for a teen – to find out she’s been lied to all her life. Will Janet step up to save the day? Or will it be “game over” for her – and the world that she’s grown to love?

Budget: Not cheap, but surprisingly not crazy either. A small cast. Some SFX that could be done in post with CGI. Add in a few sets: a house, school and spaceship interior (small), and you’ll be ready to blast off!

About the writer: Kay Poiro is an award-winning screenwriter and internationally produced playwright. Her stage plays have been performed across the country and on four continents and counting. Most recently, her TV pilot “Brewster Commons” won Best Short Script at the 2014 Harlem International Film Festival. In 2012, her feature script “Ridgeway Mystery Club” won Best Screenplay at the 8th Annual L.A. Femme Film Festival. She recently optioned her first feature script. Kay is a member of the Dramatists Guild of America and lives in Maryland. She can be reached at keishapoiro (a) yahoo.

About the Reviewer: Gary Rowlands cut his teeth writing sketch comedy. He was a commissioned writer on Spitting Image a hugely popular sketch show broadcast on national television in the UK. He has since branched out into writing features. His preferred genres are: Comedy, horror, thriller. He can be contacted at gazrow (a) hotmail dot com

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Watch “Kill Your Demon” Now! - post author Don

Watch Kill Your Demon (7 page short pdf format) by Dena McKinnon

A troubled man sets out to kill a demon. Only problem, his demon happens to be a man of God. Or is he?

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Friday, January 27, 2017

Teeth – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author David M Troop

TEETH (13 pages in pdf format) by Bill Sarre

A soldier recovering from a failed mission must face a new enemy – in his mouth.

Who doesn’t love a great conspiracy flick?

Perched on the edge of your seat – watching the protagonist chip away the lies? Holding one’s breath as he uncovers a vast conspiracy that inevitably leads “all the way to the top” – ala “All the President’s Men,” Watergate style?

And if you like action, conspiracy films have that – in spades. Watch in concern as our hero runs for his life – a scenario that plays out in multiple ways. The Fugitive. The Man Who Knew Too Much. North by Northwest.

But whether your genre preference is Hitchcock or Oliver Stone (and his magnum opus, JFK), conspiracy films have similarities in their DNA: the characters digging through lies, rumors and worse – in the desperate hope of uncovering TRUTH.

Take Teeth’s protagonist, Hugo Web. An ex special-forces soldier, recovering from a failed mission on a covert military base. As the script opens, Hugo’s in excruciating pain. Physically. And mentally.

The source of his agony – his teeth.

You see, Hugo’s hearing voices in his mouth… radio signals filtered through his fillings. He pleads with his doctors to rip the offending choppers out. Once his teeth are gone, Hugo’s sure, he’ll be fine!

Yes, Hugo’s a man on the verge of total breakdown. And beyond. Racked by the guilt of leading loyal men to their deaths. As his doctor Jessica explains, “PTSD takes many forms.” Is Hugo delusional? Insane? Or is he a victim of a different kind…? A human guinea pig exploited by the vast military machine?

An ambitious thriller with great set pieces, “Teeth” is a perfect script for directors seeking something unique. What actor in their right mind wouldn’t want to play Hugo Web? So grab this script while you can. There’s lots to sink your, um, “Teeth” into…

Budget: Moderate. You’ll need uniforms, of course. And a set that looks like a hospital or military base!

About The Writer: An award winning writer, Bill Sarre has had scripts place both finalist and quarter finalist with Page and Bluecat.  Another short of his, The Grieving Spell, was recently grand prize winner of the London Film Awards. Bill can be reached at Bill.sarre (a) gmail.

About The Reviewer: David M Troop has been writing since he could hold a number two pencil. He’s written short screenplays for websites such as MoviePoet, Simply Scripts, and WriterArena. Update: Dave and his wife Jodi now spend most of their spare time spoiling their new grandson Oliver.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Good – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author The Merrows

Good (6 pages in pdf format) by Erich Von Heeder

An ex-convict priest attempts to save a neighborhood.

Colm MacKenna is a priest. A man of God. And a complex protagonist. He’s tough – streetwise. And he’s done jail time. Given that, is he good? Colm himself speaks that that issue. “The moment you pretend to be good… in that moment, you are good.” But does the father practice as he preaches…?

Erich Von Heeder’s dark morality tale would seem to indicate otherwise.

The opening pages of Good puts Colm to the test. And his motives in question. Sneaking through a dark alleyway, Colm is assaulted by two thugs…. Targeting his duffel bag. A violent struggle ensues, leaving Colm bloody but victorious. And the thugs in need of hospital care. A quick glimpse into the bag deepens the mystery. It’s filled to the brim with money. Lots and lots of money.

Shortly thereafter, Colm pays a visit to Father O’Callahan – pastor of the local Catholic church. And it’s far from a friendly Sunday visit: closer to a syndicate shakedown. Accusations fly between the two men of the cloth: refusing to hear Colm’s confession, O’Callahan calls him a false prophet. A fake. He threatens a hostile takeover of Colm’s tiny ministry – and brings his funding into question. Money may be the root of evil, but it has to come from somewhere.

Needless to say, the meeting doesn’t end well. Colm storms out – threatening judgement on Callahan. He retreats to a secret basement, and sets to work on… something. What he’s up to isn’t clear. Then again, O’Callahan’s no saint, either.

Gripping and fluidly written, Good is a hybrid tale of the best kind. A noir thriller that doesn’t let go – yet still has something to say. Directors are urged to grab this one while they can. And pray you don’t arrive too late…

Budget: Low – Medium. One fight scene, and a handful of locations. As with so many quality shorts, acting and cinematography will make or break this one!

About the writer: Residing in Seattle, Washington, Erich Von Heeder can be reached at erich_vonheeder (a) yahoo

About the reviewers: Scott & Paula Merrow are a husband and wife screenwriting team. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy,… the whole nine yards. They’re reachable at scott-paula “AT” comcast.net

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