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Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Good – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author The Merrows

Good (6 pages in pdf format) by Erich Von Heeder

An ex-convict priest attempts to save a neighborhood.

Colm MacKenna is a priest. A man of God. And a complex protagonist. He’s tough – streetwise. And he’s done jail time. Given that, is he good? Colm himself speaks that that issue. “The moment you pretend to be good… in that moment, you are good.” But does the father practice as he preaches…?

Erich Von Heeder’s dark morality tale would seem to indicate otherwise.

The opening pages of Good puts Colm to the test. And his motives in question. Sneaking through a dark alleyway, Colm is assaulted by two thugs…. Targeting his duffel bag. A violent struggle ensues, leaving Colm bloody but victorious. And the thugs in need of hospital care. A quick glimpse into the bag deepens the mystery. It’s filled to the brim with money. Lots and lots of money.

Shortly thereafter, Colm pays a visit to Father O’Callahan – pastor of the local Catholic church. And it’s far from a friendly Sunday visit: closer to a syndicate shakedown. Accusations fly between the two men of the cloth: refusing to hear Colm’s confession, O’Callahan calls him a false prophet. A fake. He threatens a hostile takeover of Colm’s tiny ministry – and brings his funding into question. Money may be the root of evil, but it has to come from somewhere.

Needless to say, the meeting doesn’t end well. Colm storms out – threatening judgement on Callahan. He retreats to a secret basement, and sets to work on… something. What he’s up to isn’t clear. Then again, O’Callahan’s no saint, either.

Gripping and fluidly written, Good is a hybrid tale of the best kind. A noir thriller that doesn’t let go – yet still has something to say. Directors are urged to grab this one while they can. And pray you don’t arrive too late…

Budget: Low – Medium. One fight scene, and a handful of locations. As with so many quality shorts, acting and cinematography will make or break this one!

About the writer: Residing in Seattle, Washington, Erich Von Heeder can be reached at erich_vonheeder (a) yahoo

About the reviewers: Scott & Paula Merrow are a husband and wife screenwriting team. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy,… the whole nine yards. They’re reachable at scott-paula “AT”

Read Good (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

4 Comments so far


Edward N Haas
November 26th, 2014 at 11:00 am

At 78, I can recall a scene in a movie I saw probably 60 or more years ago but can’t remember the name of the movie or any of the cast or exactly how the scene went. In the scene, a rabbi was conversing with an young adult male voicing his philosophical objection to marriage. The rabbi then said something like: “Let me show you what philosophy is.” The rabbi describes a scene, if I remember correctly, about a man emerging from a chimney and asks what it implies. Upon hearing the young man’s reply, the rabbi adds: “Wait! I forgot to mention one of the details.” Given the additional detail and asked what the scene now implies, the young man gives a very different interpretation. The rabbi then adds another detail which leads the young man to give a third interpretation very different from each of the other two. Is it possible you might know the name of the movie? I have 21 books in print and, in at least one to follow, I’d like to quote the dialogue. EDWARD N. HAAS – HAASWOOD, LA


Scott Merrow
November 26th, 2014 at 12:51 pm

I’m not sure what movie it was in, but the story of the two men climbing down the chimney was in at least one novel — “The Source” by James Michener.


KP Mackie
November 26th, 2014 at 4:12 pm

A great opening. Reinforces how important it is to grab a writer and audience’s attention immediately.
An easy read with amazing characters.


Henry Christner
November 27th, 2014 at 12:50 pm

Mr Haas: I didn’t find the movie, but this link (via Google) tells the chimney story.…/TS128_October%202012.p...

Re: Good. Enjoyed the way this unfolded, the images you created…in the attic, the confessional, the Swat team.

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