Sex and Death by Sylvia Dahl

An aging rock star gets a visit from her ex-lover: the Grim Reaper.

Ever since Satan tempted Eve to take that first bite of forbidden fruit, human beings have had to face up to their own mortality – and the spectre of The Grim Reaper.

On the plus side, what better lead character than The Grim Reaper? The quintessential villain, arch nemesis, antagonist, (apart from perhaps, the Devil himself) is perfect material for the medium of film.

Look at for example: Metropolis. It depicts one of the most terrifying dream sequences ever committed to celluloid. Futuristic rich kid Freder, in a church full of mourners, turns to confront the skeletal figure of Death. Statues start moving, weird bone-flutes play, and several jarring jump cuts bring the reaper lurching to life, swinging his scythe at the screen.

The other most iconic and subsequent prototype for Death is the chalk-faced Grim Reaper in The Seventh Seal. Symbolic and menacing, Ingmar Bergman’s Middle-ages meditation on religion, philosophy and history is a visual masterpiece brought to life through Bengt Ekerot’s chilling and haunting performance.

Sylvie Dahl’s Sex And Death introduces us to Janice, a down and out rockstar and former front woman for a punk band. She is lying face down on the sofa in her apartment  “surrounded by a half empty bottle of whiskey … and empty vials of prescription drugs on the floor.”  In her semi conscious state, she reaches for the whiskey bottle when –

Suddenly, in the corner of the room, Janice spots The Grim Reaper – not entirely surprised apparently… Likewise, ‘Reaper’, who laconically removes his robe and places his scythe on a chair, appears as if he’s just come in from buying the groceries.

In Sex And Death, The Grim Reaper presents as the archetypal rock-god –  “an Angel Of Death, and, a naked man of supernatural beauty. “ He is beautiful, dangerous, seductive, but also armed with the gift of the gab and a very droll sense of humor.

He compliments Janice:

            REAPER
Your last record rocks.

Even approves of her trendy, artistic living space:

             REAPER
…Nice place.

All seems to be going swimmingly well, very polite, very civil. That is, until we learn these two have a bit of a history.  During their first meeting Janice was able to cheat death, but this time around the circumstances are different and she might just have pushed things to the point of no return.

Can Janice outwit death and turn the tables a second time, or is her number finally up?

With its gothic tone, no holds barred approach to adult content, examination of the Freudian themes of love, sex, and death, and a denouement you won’t see coming, well…

All we have to say is: Filmmakers, stop dilly-dallying around. The sands of the hourglass run out for all of us, and Sex And Death demands to be immortalized.

Budget: Very low. A decent Grim Reaper costume, and great actors can complete this show.

About the writer: I’m a one time advertising copywriter who has fallen in love with screenwriting. I’ve written a handful of features, one has been produced as a Role Playing Game (RPG) and made its debut at CarnageCon. I enjoy writing short scripts since it’s a fun exercise for sharpening my skills; so far one of my shorts has been produced as a student film project, and I welcome the opportunity to have more of my work produced via participation on SimplyScripts. Sylvia can be reached at sylviedahl (a) AOL.

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About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Solitaire by Steven Clark

A troubled loner is about to get a second chance. And maybe more…

In the final act of Steven Clark’s screenplay ‘Solitaire’, main character Randy makes the following comment:

            RANDY
They say this game mimics life.
Ladders, chutes. Up, down. Everything
by chance.

This poses the question: Are the cards we’re dealt in life pre-determined, or is the game of life just a random result of luck and fate? Similarly, does playing by the rules, employing strategic maneuvers, knowing when to show your hand and when to keep your cards close to your chest ensure a better result in this game of life?

Steven Clarke’s characters Randy and Amy have been playing by the rules all of their lives. Randy washes dishes in a small-town diner. Amy is a waitress. During his breaks Randy can be found sitting at a table at the back idling away at his favorite card game: Solitaire – or Patience, as he likes to call it.

We get the impression life up until now has been a bit of a struggle for Randy. We know he’s recently returned from a stint in the military and has suffered some sort of trauma. Some might call him damaged goods… As a result, for the most part, he keeps his head down and his mouth shut.

Amy’s also doing it tough as a single mom supporting her daughter.

That she’s attracted to Randy is no secret, but Randy is so painfully shy he can’t even look Amy in the eye. Seems these two might be destined to be ships passing in the night…

We can tell by this line however:

     Randy’s gaze follows her as she hip-checks through a swinging door, out into the
     dining room.

So there’s still hot blood coursing through Randy’s veins. And Amy’s indomitable spirit ensures Randy’s brooding dark horse personality and solitary habits are not going to put her off.

Amy’s decided today is the day. She’s worked up the courage and she’s going to make her move. Brazenly, she steps up to the table where Randy’s playing his game and asks him for a date. Just like that. Game on.

Of course, as with all good dramas, things don’t exactly go according to plan. Having given his home a long overdue spit and polish, and donned a nice white shirt and tie, Randy sits down at the kitchen table to wait…

And wait… and wait…

Never has the dial on the kitchen clock ticked by more slowly, and still no sign of Amy.

It appears she may have just thrown a dummy move that no-one could see coming.

Then, just when you think game over, there’s a knock at the door.

Is Randy about to discover that Patience is indeed a virtue? That gambling on love, one of the highest-stakes games of all, is worth it? If he gets it wrong, it could be a falling house of cards. Then again, as the saying goes…You’ve got to be in it to win it, right?

With echoes of Frankie and Johnny, and It Could Happen To You, Steven Clark paints a very moving tale with Solitaire about two people searching for meaning in their lives, and that all important love connection.

Filmmakers: Know a good deal – I mean screenplay – when you see one? Don’t you dare leave this one to chance. After all, this could be that all important game changer.

Budget: Minimal. A few locations, two actors. Needless to say, make sure they’re good!

About the writer: Based in upstate, NY, Steven Clark is the writer of over 30 short scripts, several of which are under option, in pre-production, or have already been made into films. On A Clear Night, a family Christmas feature aimed at a Hallmark Channel-type audience, is currently in the works. Steven can be reached at Steamroller138 (a) gmail.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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Play Dead by Stephen Wells

In the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse, one man believes he has the perfect strategy to survive, but what will his plan cost him?

Decades before George Romero’s Night Of The Living Dead ever hit the screen, the first feature length zombie horror film made its début. Its title: White Zombie, starring the inimitable Bela Lugosi. Prior to this in 1920, Robert Wiene mesmerized audiences with his silent film: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, which depicted a killer in the guise of a sleeping-walking zombie.

Fast forward to the 80s and Romero set the gold standard in popular culture with his unique and oft imitated vision of the Undead as plodding lumbering cannibals.

Various Zombie incarnations have proliferated since. Though the source of Zombie plagues is often not divulged, zombie outbreaks often represent a decaying society, and are depicted as allegorical and cautionary tales. In a post apocalyptic world, corrupt governments, leaked mutant viruses, radioactive fallout and even supernatural occurrences frequently act as catalyst to any outbreak.

Zombie settings and genres are equally diverse. From outer space, to period drama, and movie musicals such as: Zombies On Broadway. From the brilliantly funny Zom-com: Shaun Of The Dead, to Zom-Rom-Com: Pride And Prejudice and Zombie, and the angst-ridden romance that is Warm Bodies. From the lumbering and kooky to the frenetic superfast avalanche of zombies in World War Z, and the grim and bloodthirsty mutants of Richard Matheson’s, I am Legend. How can we forget Danny Boyle’s provocative and intelligent reworking of a world gone to rack and ruin with its special brand of Rage-Zombies in 28 Days Later and its sequel: 28 Weeks Later.

From book, to comic strip, to video game, to movie and television, it seems our fascination and appetite for the Living Dead is insatiable.

So what makes a good Zombie script? Well, a fresh angle and originality is key. An audience wants to see something they haven’t seen before.

No easy task, but writer, Stephen Well’s short script Play Dead ticks all the boxes with his very cleverly crafted story.

We open on:

    A SKELETON sits propped up against a gas pump.

            MAN (V.O.)
In every city and every country
people died in record numbers. It was
a global pandemic. The end of mankind
as we knew it.

    Suddenly, the sound of FOOTSTEPS. Slow and listless.

            MAN (V.O.) (cont’d)
Then the darndest thing happened. The
dead started to rise.

    A SHADOW looms over the skeleton and a figure staggers into
    view… A ZOMBIE.

We meet: Trapper Hat, the protagonist and narrator of the piece. By his own admission Trapper’s a survivor, doing his best to blend in with the Undead around him. Its also clear Trapper Hat will do anything to survive. Through every word he utters it’s clear he’s capable and smart, but he’s also conceited, full of pride, and ruthless.

And yet…

            TRAPPER HAT (V.O.)
I shouldn’t have left them alone.

Trapper is also plagued by a guilty secret. A secret that could either redeem him, or could prove deadly.

    He rips the knife from the creature’s skull and uses it to
    open up its mid-section.

            TRAPPER HAT
I don’t need backup. I just do what it takes.

    He reaches in, takes two handfuls of blood and innards,
    smears them over his body and face. Gives himself a fresh
    coat of gore.

At this point the reader may well jump to the conclusion that this trope (above) seems a little familiar, but what happens next will shock and surprise you. From here on in this one definitely ain’t treading clichéd ground.

With its original storyline, visual writing and universal themes of love, loss, and betrayal, its multi-layered well drawn characters, and masterful twist, Play Dead is guaranteed to not only shock audiences but also bring a tear to the eye.

Play Dead was one of two Reader’s Choice picks in the April ’17 Apocalypse themed One Week challenge on Simply Scripts.

Filmmakers: We just know you’re dying to sink your teeth into this one and bite off all you can chew. You’d better move fast though, or you may well be left for dead.

Medium Budget: Depending on skills, but this one’s well worth it.
Exterior day-time shoot.
Three main characters: 40s male, mid 30s female, young lad of 14.
One motorcycle enthusiast.
Blood and gore FX, pyrotechnical skills would be handy, or use stock footage for one scene.
EXTRAS: A modest swarm of The Undead.

About the Writer:Hailing from Derbyshire, England, Stephen Wells is a graphic designer who has been writing for several years after first getting the screenwriting bug in 2009. He had a feature script optioned in 2013 and placed as a Quarter-Finalist in the 2014 Bluecat feature competition.

About the Reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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Head In The Clouds by Josh McDonald

A young boy with an overactive imagination gets it in his head to try for a real-life adventure. But can he pull it off? And even if he does, will anyone believe him?

It is a screenwriter’s job to hook you from the first page, to transport you to another world, introduce you to characters you instantly care about and weave a story you can immerse yourself in.

FADE IN:

Mid Summer… A quiet coastal road winds its way through gnarled trees and craggy rocks… the ocean visible beyond… This is Wyeth country…

Josh McDonald hooked me right off the bat with his opening description of Head In The Clouds. In fact, he had me in the palm of his hand the whole way through – and I wasn’t about to let go.

Martinsville Maine, circa 1955, small town America, where the characters look ‘like they wandered in from a Norman Rockwell painting.’

Enter: Johnny and Stevie, two twelve year old boys, and best friends, who couldn’t be more like chalk and cheese. While Stevie has his feet firmly planted on the ground Johnny lives in a rich fantasy world.

50s America is a quieter time, a place where kids are allowed to roam unsupervised. Though he’s growing up Johnny still lets his imagination reign supreme, something as ordinary as a stick can be transformed into a sword to be engaged in ‘swashbuckling swordplay’, likewise a discarded hubcap can magically morph into the ‘Discus of Achilles’.

Endless summer days are spent idling along the coastline until sundown, the highlight of the day culminating at the business end of town with pocket money to be spent on penny-candies purchased from the General Store.

Something’s different about today though, and that something is ‘parked behind the store at the town’s main dock.’ Johnny believes it could be the perfect opportunity for adventure.  Stevie however, is quick to point out there are some things in life kids are just not allowed to do, certain activities reserved only for ‘important people…’ In fact he tells  Johnny in no uncertain terms, ‘you buy too many books’ – translation: you need to get your head out of the clouds and come back down to earth. 

But the seed of an idea has already been sown. Spending a lot of time inside your own head and alongside fictional characters in books will have that effect. Johnny knows there’s a bigger wider world out there full of adventure and he thinks it’s about time he experienced some of it.

Is Johnny’s dream about to become a reality, or will he come plummeting back to earth?

Head In The Clouds is a beautifully written and lyrical coming of age story with richly drawn characters.

Filmmakers, isn’t it high time you spread your wings and turned your own dream into a reality? Want to produce pure poetry in motion, perhaps inject a little of your own Malick-like magic into the landscape of this one? Look no further than Head In The Clouds.

Budget: Reserve a bit to do this right. Though plane scenes could be artfully edited with stock footage… thereby reserving the rest for actors that make this work!

About the Writer: Josh McDonald is a writer, actor, cartoonist, & filmmaker living in Vermont. He can be reached in the Clouds. Specifically, at josh-mcdonald (a) comcast.net

About the Reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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Afraid Of The Dark by Paul Clarke

In a world over-run by electricity-consuming monsters, only one source of power remains…

The Creature From The Black Lagoon, The War Of The Worlds,  Cloverfield, The Thing…

Notice a common theme? That’s right – monsters. In all their slimy, shape-shifting, slamming, shrieking, marauding glory. A few other films with monsters that leave a lasting impression: Alien, The Day of The Triffids, The Fly, and that granddaddy of all monster flicks (recently remade) – the 1954 classic, Godzilla.

The creation of the monster/creature feature has long held our attention. As a genre, Science Fiction and in particular ‘end of the world’ scenarios gained renewed popularity following World War II and the advent of the Cold War, when the combined fears of foreign occupation and the threat of global annihilation by nuclear weapons entered the public consciousness.

In Afraid Of The Dark Paul Clarke creates a unique monster of his own imagination. Cleverly combining elements of sci-fi, horror, and heart-pumping action, with a cursory nod to The Matrix and sub-genre cyberpunk, the story is set against that perennial crowd-pleasing backdrop of a post-apocalyptic ruin – burning waste, burned out cars, weeds, no electricity…

We open on a darkened room in the dead of winter. A conversation takes place between a young woman and a child, both of them huddled over their only source of light and heat, a solitary tungsten bulb. But this bulb is not connected to a cord and it’s not plugged into the wall. Instead we’re given a rather startling and surreal image. The bulb is connected to a writhing and pulsating black blob. And that blob is locked inside a cage.

The bulb is just about to go out. And for the remaining survivors now forced to live in lockdown, it appears time is running out.

Cue our protagonist and the female narrator of the tale and her retelling of how the beast came to be:

            WOMAN (V.O.)
No one knows where they came from.
Some say a meteorite. Some say from
deep under the Earth. Others even
believe they’re something we cooked
up in a lab.

Whatever this monster is, and wherever it came from, there’s no doubt it is nightmare inducing… a formidable monster with a selective appetite.  Appetite for what? Well, you’ll just have crack this one open to find out.

Let’s just say the hunter is about to become the hunted. The remaining survivors are going to have to use the one element in the beast’s arsenal that they now need to survive – the beast himself.

Afraid Of The Dark is a richly layered and allegorical tale with a specific cautionary message about our reliance on energy and technology.

Filmmakers: Want to jumpstart your sci-fi/horror short-film career? Well, this one has the spark and surge you’ve been waiting for, and the power to leave audiences with a long lasting impression.

Budget: Mid-range. You want a decent budget to do this right. But trust us – this one’s worth it!

About the writer: Paul Clarke is an Australian based screenwriter who works as a cinema manager by day and paid coverage writer by night. His success so far has included a top 10 place in the Writer’s Store Industry Insider competition. And is currently working on a selection of short, feature, and pilot scripts. He can be reached at paul.clarke.scripts “AT” gmail

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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Art’s Tatto Removal (13 pages in PDF format) by Mark Lyons

A retired hitman takes a job from an old employer in his new profession; slicing tattoos off people’s skin and selling them as artwork.

Originality is quite often the bane of a writer’s daily existence. Conceiving a story that hasn’t been seen before with an exciting premise and a neat twist is no mean feat.

Mark Lyons nails the brief with Art’s Tattoo Removal injecting style and colour (pun intended) into his story with more than a passing nod to crime noir and some of its tried and true conventions.

Told from the subjective point of view of the main character, an anti-hero with a jaded attitude but just the right amount of cockiness, the story effectively utilizes a wonderfully droll voice over and employs clever narrative time jumps, just to keep you on your toes.

‘Arthur Lionel, otherwise known as Artie or just plain Art’, is the titular character of the piece.

We begin in prologue then slide back into a little bit of Art’s back-story as he reveals –

            ART (V.O.)
I used to execute people for money…

Hmm, the operative words: ‘used to’. Not anymore apparently…

So, what’s a retired hitman to do when he’s hung up his very selective tools of the trade? Well, Art’s not going to hide his light under a bushel, no siree. He’s going to parlay his unique talents, along with his surgical skills, into another specialized area of work, one with less collateral damage and less potential for damage to the psyche.

Art’s now in the business of Body Art, enjoying a reputation, and a particular brand of skill to rival any of his competitors. So sought after are his talents he’s achieved a monopoly in the trade.

            ART (V.O.)
No one delivers a better,
more carefully removed piece
of flesh art than me.
One scalpel lifts the skin
up as another slices off
the gristle that holds it
to the muscle underneath.

Things are humming along. Good money, clear conscience.

However, when word reaches Art that a former employer has a job for him he’s a little surprised and a lot conflicted. After all the last job he did for Delvecchio didn’t exactly go according to plan.

            ART (V.O.)
I never thought I’d hear from
Vincent Delvecchio again after I
gave him his down payment back for
not killing that mistress. That
was years ago. I was surprised
when I heard he was trying to get
in touch with me.

Art suffered a severe case of the heebie-jeebies, you would too if you knew the circumstances, (you can, if you read the script) and he was unable to follow through.

Still, Art’s pretty sure there’s no bad blood. Or is there…?

Delvecchio has a proposal, one that Art can’t refuse. Deliver a much sought after and highly prized tattoo (Gupta, no less) of da Vinci’s ‘The Vitruvian Man’. This means peeling the skin off the back of its living and breathing host – as you do.

Art’s got one week to deliver, one last big score and one rather nice prize guaranteed. Easy peasy – enough money to retire on permanently. He’s already got his eye on a nice patch of sand and sea.

He’s also got a little ace up his sleeve and some insider information which can’t go astray, or can it?

Art surely wouldn’t dare cross Delvecchio again? Would he?

One thing is for sure, Art’s Tattoo Removal is a story that’s hard to erase from memory and sure to get under your skin.

Filmmakers: Need a little jab in the right direction? Art’s Tattoo Removal delivers the ink that is sure to leave an indelible mark. We think it’s high time you imprinted your own special style on this one. There’ll be no pain, in fact it’ll be a pleasure.

Budget: Low. Though this one surely deserves the best classy/gritty film-noir atmosphere money can buy!

About the writer: Mark Lyons is a four-time award-winning screenwriter from Youngstown, Ohio. He’s written several scripts, including ‘The Ephesian’, which won Best Drama at the 2015 Austin Revolution Film Festival (which also garnered him a Best Screenplay nomination), and was selected Best Drama for the Cinema Constant 2015. He also penned Best Film award-winner “God’s Empty Acre”, which was filmed as ‘Girl(s)’ at the 2013 Winter Shorts Film Festival and Best Drama at the 2013 World Independent Film Expo. He was also nominated for a Best Screenplay award at the 2016 Action on Film Festival. Currently, Mark is teaming with writer Sharon Day and producer Justin Colon to co-produce the feature film ‘Lords and Harvesters’, set to film in Summer, 2018. He can be reached at markielyons1107 (a) gmail

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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Tempest Road (11 pages in pdf format) by Steven Clark

Three years sober, a father must deal with the reality that his son is transgender.

There are some things we just don’t talk about in polite company, right? Wrong.

If you’re a writer, nothing’s off limits. In fact it’s a part of the writer’s and filmmaker’s brief to shine the spotlight on difficult and taboo subjects, to challenge beliefs and stereotypes, expose rights and wrongs, educate, enlighten, and of course entertain.

We are proud to put under the spotlight the subject of gender dysphoria, more commonly known as: ‘transgender’. Put simply, transgender people believe they were born in the wrong body. Those affected are often sent on a painful and daunting road to self-discovery, and in the process stigmatized and held up to public ridicule.

Films such as: Boys Don’t Cry, Ma Vie En Rose, Tomboy, all examine the issue of gender confusion and identity from the point of view of the child. Writer Steven Clark takes a different approach with his aptly titled: Tempest Road, telling the story from the parents’ point of view.

For all intents and purposes, characters Ashley and Gary Broussard, a couple in their mid-thirties, represent ‘normal’ middle-class America. They enjoy a comfortable life – nice house, two cars parked in the garage… We assume they’re doing pretty well. When we meet them however, they’re midway through a heated argument, each of them doggedly trying to convince the other that they’re right and the other is wrong.

The point of contention? Their son Charlie, who believes: God messed up and made him a boy. Ashley is supportive of Charlie no matter what, in fact she’s aware of the potential and dire consequences a lack of acceptance could have on their child. Gary however, is having none of it. He’s embarrassed, worse still he claims Charlie is ruining their family. Charlie should be playing with basketballs and footballs not dresses and dolls. He’s a boy, that’s what God intended him to be. But Ashley thinks otherwise.

So, how does Gary cope? The only way he knows how, of course. The reformed alcoholic storms out of the house and heads straight for his local watering hole. Along the way he encounters a couple of people who may or may not inadvertently set him on the right path – one of them a rather attractive woman, the other a highway patrol cop.

Tempest Road is a thought provoking and intelligently told tale which avoids preaching and never veers into melodrama or histrionics. Instead it challenges beliefs on a delicate subject and poses questions to its audience, not the least of which is: Can acceptance, tolerance and love triumph over ignorance. Steven Clark also avoids a pat happily ever after denouement, instead offering us a final and satisfying message of hope.

Filmmakers: Take the right route to success with – Tempest Road.

Budget: Reasonable. A handful of locations – but as with most straightforward (hard hitting) drama, this is not a budget buster…

About the writer: Based in upstate, NY, Steven Clark is the writer of over 30 short scripts, several of which are under option, in pre-production, or have already been made into films. On A Clear Night, a family Christmas feature aimed at a Hallmark Channel-type audience, is currently in the works. Steven can be reached at Steamroller138 (a) gmail.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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Feels Like Falling (14 pages, pdf format) by Eric Wall

An elevator operator finds his simple job becoming much more complicated when he tries to talk one of his building’s tenants out of an abusive relationship.

As film buffs, some scenes linger in our memories long after the lights come up. Remember when Kyle MacLachlan as Jeffrey Beaumont found the severed ear in Blue Velvet? Or when Jimmy Stewart as the wheelchair bound L.B. Jeffries in Rear Window aimed his binoculars at the apartment across the way? Now recall the unforgettable No Country For Old Men and the chain of events that followed Josh Brolin in the role of Llewellyn Moss after a fatal prick of conscience led him back to a dying man in the desert.

Of course Llewelyn should never have absconded with two million dollars, L.B. could simply have ignored the scream of a dying woman, and Jeffrey Beaumont should have never gone snooping into other people’s private affairs.

Sticking your nose into other people’s business can get you into a world of trouble.

On the flip-side: All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Eric Wall’s character Marcus Kirby is a good man, a man of honor. Estranged from his wife he’s still as old fashioned and principled as his finely tailored suit. Marcus operates the elevator of a residential apartment block, and as such he is privy to some of the occupants’ daily trials and tribulations.

Enter, Sophie Gardner. On the outside she’s a confident and assertive young woman and dedicated teacher to her first grade charges. But appearances can be deceptive, or in this case revealing.

One particular day on the ride up in the elevator Marcus recognizes the tell-tale signs of domestic abuse. Though Sophie is determined to shrug it off and blame it on exuberant kids Marcus is well aware that David, Sophie’s husband, has a violent temper and a heavy hand to match. Indeed Marcus knows a thing or two himself about growing up in the hard school of knocks, and he knows just what it feels like to break free of the shackles of abuse.

Marcus tries his darnedest to impart some of his wisdom to Sophie:

            MARCUS
     (sighs)
Alright. Way I see it, you’ve
only got two choices. You can go up
there and spend the rest your life
trying not to look too afraid, or
talk too loud, or say the wrong
thing, or look the wrong way…

Sadly, Sophie’s like a lot of women caught in the cycle of abuse and it’s going to take more than a well intentioned pep talk for her to make the break. However, a break does come in the form of serendipity. When Marcus and Sophie next see one another Sophie’s in an ebullient mood, glowing with the news she’s pregnant. Finally the resolve she’s needed to escape David’s clutches.

And then, a shocking turn of events.

Sophie turns up dead. Deemed a Suicide.

But that’s not all. Did I mention David is a Police Officer – and a drunk to boot? Sophie’s apparently killed herself with her husband’s service revolver after first firing a shot into the floor? Who does that?

Marcus tells the investigating officer it’s not possible – Sophie would never take her own life. When he offers to provide a statement to that effect he is given short shrift and told they’re quite capable of running the investigation without him. It appears the police have closed ranks around one of their own.

And when David adds insult to injury:

            DAVID
She got what she deserved.

Marcus is now forced to make a decision which may have far reaching consequences.

Feels Like Falling examines the larger themes of power and corruption, miscarriage of justice, and vengeance. Inspired by a true life account and one of two entries tied for ‘Reader’s Choice’ on Simply Scripts One Week Challenge – Feels Like Falling is a suspenseful drama with a poignant message, and powerful dialogue.

Filmmakers, feel like falling on your feet and reaping the rewards? If you know what’s good for you you’ll do this one justice. Case closed.

Budget: Medium. Only two main characters (with strong supporting roles such as David), and the primary location – an elevator. But bear in mind – this one deserves a robust enough budget to be done right!

About the writer: Eric Wall is a New Jersey based screenwriter who has written several short scripts, two features and is at work on multiple TV specs. He can be reached at e_wall1498 “AT” yahoo!

About the Reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

The Relief 10 pages in pdf format by Jean-Pierre Chapoteau

A sick woman reaches out to a wealthy man to negotiate a few terms for the cure to her “disease”.

If you’ve studied film, or have a great love of it, you will be well versed in the five elements required to create a visual masterpiece – narrative, cinematography, sound, editing, and mise-en-scene – that all important collaboration between director, actors, cinematographer, design, sound, lighting, make up, set builders etc.

Now, you can recruit all the experts on board you like, employ fancy jump-cuts, overlay a heart thumping soundtrack, color your film palette in post, but if it’s not happening on the page it’s likely all that is going to result is style over substance.

I can assure you it’s all happening on the page in Jean-Pierre Chapoteau’s screenplay, The Relief, starting with an opening scene which sets the tone in terms of that intangible element we call ‘atmosphere’, along with some very nasty creep factor.

Crisolla, a woman in her thirties, stands in front of a mirror in the bathroom of a Chinese restaurant, a picture of herself on the countertop.

What follows is unsettling, intriguing, and quite a bit urgh…

Hunched over the sink, Crisolla holds a thin, straw-like tube underneath her shirt.

The tube is attached to a small box on the sink. The box PUTTERS.

The putter slows. Crisolla removes the tube, which has a sharp end.

She tucks her equipment in her purse.

What the hell just happened? And, what is this woman doing? At this point there’s a temptation to look away, and that’s just from the written word… Just imagine what you could do with a camera and… Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Crisolla joins her boyfriend Leon back at the table and they sit down to a nice dinner.

Thank God, everything’s back to normal…

A discussion ensues between the two, there’s talk of their four month anniversary. Leon is a man of means, his watch cost more than most people’s cars. He’d very much like to cement his union with Crisolla and have her move in with him. But Crisolla has other things on her mind – actually, she seems more preoccupied with her appetite – than she is with any potential carnal desires.

She’s just hoeing into a nice juicy steak, right? Okay, it’s a little on the blue side but there’s nothing wrong with that; everyone likes it rare these days, don’t they?

Upon leaving the restaurant, however, we are now suddenly plunged into a world of:

Soldiers, barricades and checkpoints – there’s an immediate sense of dread, a dystopian feel to this world. A surreal tone is evoked and the temperature has just dropped to chill factor.

When Leon questions a guard’s apparent lax attitude towards Crisolla’s ID papers:

            SOLDIER
We know each other from mutual
acquaintances.

            LEON
…oh. My apologies. I’m a primary
donor to the cause, so you can see
where my concern lies.

We immediately wonder, whose side are you on Leon?

And, ‘primary donor’ of what? What’s the cause Leon speaks of?

My immediate reaction is: What the high hell is going on here?

There are more questions posed too, and they’re all of a very dark nature.

Crisolla is still hungry, but not for what you might imagine. Poor old Leon’s had his offer of cohabitation turned down and now he’s left begging for a good night kiss. He leaves, or rather he’s given short shrift and sent packing.

Alone now in her apartment, the tension ramps up further with the reappearance of the ‘box’, the ‘tube’, and the ‘brown’ sludge. Not only that, but what’s with Crisolla’s weird pre-bedtime ritual of slathering herself from head to foot in some very weird gunk and then lowering herself into a bath of…

Okay, I’ll leave it right there, if you want to know more you’re just going to have to delve deeper yourself.

Filmmakers: Are you a fan of television show, Black Mirror, and of movies Under The Skin and Fight Club? Are you searching for gritty, dark and edgy? Do you want to create atmospheric magic on screen? Look no further.

Take a walk on the dark side with: The Relief.

Budget: Moderate. A few scenes/settings. But nothing unreasonable.

About the writer: Jean-Pierre Chapoteau started writing feature length scripts in 2005 then focused on shorts in 2009. Since then he’s had three scripts produced and two more optioned. He has won several awards for his shorts and has become a moderator at the site MoviePoet, who specialize in the craft of the short scripts. Jean-Pierre was a finalist in the RAW TALENT Competition for his faith based feature length script: ‘Far From Perfect.’ And was also a semi-finalist in the SLAMDANCE teleplay competition and a finalist in the OBSWRITER teleplay contest for his adapted teleplay, Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Guardian. You can contact Jean-Pierre Chapoteau at: jeanpierre425 (a) gmail.com

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.