SimplyScripts.Com Logo

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Lone Star Runner Hunnies – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Anthony Cawood

Lone Star Runner Hunnies (7 pages in pdf format) by C.J. Walley

Fleeing a drug deal gone wrong, four girls held up in a lonely Texas diner face the dilemma of capture vs saving a mortally wounded friend.

Roadside diners make great locations – for almost any genre you can mention. Comedy. Romance. Horror. And crime dramas are no exception. (Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, anyone?) But you need a talented writer to populate such a setting properly. With fresh, interesting characters.

Fortunately, Lone Star Runner Hunnies has a surplus. Enter Ameena, KJ and Scotty.

As the script opens, the girls burst into a rundown café, agitated and out of their depth. They’re clearly running away… from something or someone. Scotty and Ameena dash immediately towards the back, ignoring startled clientele. They’re heading towards the restrooms. And for whatever reason, it’s urgent. (Get your minds out of the gutter, folks. This is a crime script – not comedy.)

KJ plops down at the nearest table. She’s quickly approached by the cook, a down-home type named Jake. Though concerned, Jake does his best not to pry. He takes KJ’s order. She grills poor Jake about the soup. And uses the menu to hide her tears.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom – things are getting urgent. Ameena cleans up the blood as best she can, hands Scotty a syringe…

…and joins KJ outside, whispering across the table. What are they gonna do next? And is Scotty even gonna survive?

Which is when an unexpected visitor appears at the door. Throwing the mother of all spanners in the works…

What makes a good crime story great? Well, just like diner food – there are a few essential ingredients. Interesting personalities. Rich visuals. A ticking clock of some kind. Not to mention mystery.

An expert of this genre, writer CJ Walley breathes fiery life into his characters – and leaves plenty of questions between the lines. What happened before the diner? We never fully know. But we (and Scotty) are dying to find out. With Lone Star Runner Hunnies, Walley’s recipe is complete. Resulting in an expertly executed narrative that (unlike Scotty) deserves to be shot.

Budget: Relatively small – rent a diner and that’s it.

About the writer, C.J. Walley: I began writing in 2012 and I’m pleased to say it’s been very exciting so far. I have been fortunate enough to have a short produced by a director in London and Amazon Studios have spotlighted one of my features as a notable project. My scripts place within the top 10% of various major screenwriting competitions and, as I continue to write new specs, I am remotely collaborating with a producers, directors, and actors in LA, NYC, New Orleans, Atlanta, Washington DC, Zurich, Amsterdam, Sydney, and Dallas while occasionally blogging for Stage 32. If you’re an aspiring filmmaker, then I’d love to join forces with you whatever the scale, do not hesitate to reach out and drop me a line. (CJ “AT” CJwalley DOT COM; http://www.cjwalley.com

About the reviewer: Anthony is an award winning screenwriter from the UK with 2 features optioned and over 30 short scripts optioned, or purchased, including 8 filmed. Outside of his screenwriting career, he’s a published short story writer and movie reviewer. Links to his films and details of his scripts can be found at www.anthonycawood.co.uk.

Read Lone Star Runner Hunnies (pdf format)

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Last Dance – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Guest Reviewer

Last Dance (5 pages in pdf format) by Rick Hansberry

As the seconds tick away on a song, so does one guy’s last chance with the girl that could become ‘The One’ or ‘The One That Got Away.’

“Last Dance,” a screenplay by Rick Hansberry, tells the story of a crumbling love affair — two people who had a chance at happiness but carelessly let it slip through their fingers.

The action takes place at a combination wedding reception/New Year’s Eve party, a celebration of joy and optimism and new beginnings. But this story isn’t about new beginnings — it’s about last chances, because the focus of this story isn’t on the joyful newlyweds, nor is it on party hats and champagne and New Year’s Eve merrymaking.

The focus is on John, the DJ.

As midnight approaches and John leads the crowd in the New Year’s countdown, Sara, his on-again/off-again girlfriend, arrives at the party, starting a countdown of another sort. Her appearance, “mired by storm clouds in her troubled expression,” lets John (and us) know that a moment of truth is looming. Sara has just come from a date, and her current beau has proposed marriage. John receives this news like “a verbal punch to the gut.” But he puts on his game face and continues playing party music as he and Sara face some music of their own.

It’s obvious to us, and probably to them, too, that these two people care deeply about each other. Subtle, subliminal clues — Sara’s fingers lightly brushing John’s last name on his business card, John’s hand lingering on hers as he takes the card from her — demonstrate their affection. The fact that Sara is even there with her startling news confirms it. And there’s a subtextual hopefulness in their conversation; they both seem to be seeking a favorable resolution.

But there’s also a deep resentment undermining their true feelings, and it just won’t go away. John seems to think Sara doesn’t appreciate the importance of his work, while Sara feels that John is afraid of commitment, and that he buries himself in work to avoid it. “Clever dodge,” she says. “Book yourself for so many weddings, you never have to worry about having one of your own.”

“We talked about it,” he replies.

“We danced around it,” she snaps back.

Finally, nothing resolved, a dejected Sara turns to leave. She’s made her decision. “I walk out that door tonight. When it shuts behind me I’m done.”

Now it’s decision time for John. Can he stop her? Should he? Or is he too late?

Budget: Low-to-moderate. A banquet hall, a crowd of extras, and some DJ equipment.

About the writer: Rick Hansberry is a screenwriter, producer and director with more than 20 years of industry experience. His SAG Foundation award-winning “Branches” features narration by Daniel Stern and garnered international festival awards. In 2017 his thriller/horror film, “Evil In Her” was released on Amazon Video and Vimeo On Demand. His most recent short, inspired by true events, has won praise for its portrayal of one girl’s positive approach to handling her Type 1 Diabetes. You can view It’s Not Permanent free. Rick has shorts and features available here and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618) and IMDB credits available here.

About the guest reviewer: Helen Magellan (a pseudonym) is a successful screenwriter with several produced short scripts under her belt.

Read Last Dance (pdf format)

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Dixie Gash Bandits – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Zach Zupke

Dixie Gash Bandits (8 pages in pdf format) by C.J. Walley

When they stop to fix their get-a-way vehicle, two runaway sisters must tackle both love at first sight and the bounty hunters hot on their tail.

I believe Mr. Torrance said it best when he tapped: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Pulling for good to triumph over evil is human nature. Rooting for and wanting to be the bad guys once in awhile – it’s just fun. Especially when they’re on the run.

Butch and Sundance riding from state to state. Bonnie and Clyde driving from bank to bank. Thelma and Louise flying in their T-Bird to a better life. We all have an inner want to be the one pushing the pedal to the floor, thumbing authority as we streak down the highway.

In the opening scene of CJ Walley’s “Dixie Gash Bandits,” a Mustang blazes down said highway through the night and we know we’re in for a helluva ride. The car is being pushed to the limit by Savannah, whose sister Ginger implores her to ease up on the gas and give their stallion a break. No way Savannah’s giving in. And no way these women are going back or stopping for whatever’s chasing.

The stage is set for the entire story in less than half a page. Brilliant.

            GINGER
You’re pushin’ too hard.

            SAVANNAH
Baby, you run fast enough for long
enough, people have to stop chasin’.

            GINGER
Yeah, and if you run too fast or push too hard,
you crash and burn. You’re burnin’ us up.
They’re running on empty and troubles a comin’.

Savannah spots a lonely and much-needed gas station “with small store and a rusting hut workshop” and pulls the tired ‘Stang into its lot. Is this gas station an oasis or their final resting place? Or neither?

A mechanic, Bobby, saunters out. He stares a little too long at Savannah. Instant connection.

            BOBBY
What can I do you for?

The Mustang hisses, steam erupts, a definite foreshadowing of the steam to come after Savannah admits “we got cash flow problems.” Soon after, she and Bobby crash as one into the workshop, kissing, groping and unbuttoning.

Not too far off in the horizon, relentless and ruthless bounty hunters Colt (what an awesome name for a “suited and booted” good old boy) and Jessie are hot on the sisters’ trail, questioning a man about Savannah and Ginger’s whereabouts when…BANG! Question time is over. Man slumps.

            COLT
Now that was an overreaction.

            JESSIE
No, that was a waste of time. Now
what? I’m getting impatient.

You won’t lose patience racing through the rest of this tightly-woven tale as Jessie and Colt catch up to the runaways at their gas station. The story ends with multiple bangs as all five characters find themselves in a bloody shootout leaving just two survivors.

Do Savannah and Ginger go down in a blaze of glory a la Butch and Sundance? Do they go out on their own terms like Thelma and Louise? Or, do they write their own classic ending? I’m guessing you know which and you also know this superbly-written story will find a director faster then you can type “All work and no play….”

Budget: Find a kick-ass Mustang and a rusty old gas station and call ‘er a day, partner.

About the writer, C.J. Walley: I began writing in 2012 and I’m pleased to say it’s been very exciting so far. I have been fortunate enough to have a short produced by a director in London and Amazon Studios have spotlighted one of my features as a notable project. My scripts place within the top 10% of various major screenwriting competitions and, as I continue to write new specs, I am remotely collaborating with a producers, directors, and actors in LA, NYC, New Orleans, Atlanta, Washington DC, Zurich, Amsterdam, Sydney, and Dallas while occasionally blogging for Stage 32. If you’re an aspiring filmmaker, then I’d love to join forces with you whatever the scale, do not hesitate to reach out and drop me a line. CJ “AT” CJwalley DOT COM; http://www.cjwalley.com

About the reviewer: Zack Zupke is a writer in Los Angeles. Zack was a latch-key kid (insert “awww” here) whose best friend was a 19-inch color television (horrific, he knows). His early education (1st grade on) included watching countless hours of shows like “M*A*S*H,” “Star Trek” and “The Odd Couple” and movies like “The Godfather,” “Rocky” and “Annie Hall.” Flash forward to present day and his short “The Confession” was recently produced by Trident Technical College in Charleston, SC. He’s currently working on a futuristic hitman thriller with a partner and refining a dramedy pilot perfect for the likes of FX. You can reach Zack at zzupke “at” yahoo.

Read Dixie Gash Bandits

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

The Relief – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author L. Chambers

The Relief 10 pages in pdf format by Jean-Pierre Chapoteau

A sick woman reaches out to a wealthy man to negotiate a few terms for the cure to her “disease”.

If you’ve studied film, or have a great love of it, you will be well versed in the five elements required to create a visual masterpiece – narrative, cinematography, sound, editing, and mise-en-scene – that all important collaboration between director, actors, cinematographer, design, sound, lighting, make up, set builders etc.

Now, you can recruit all the experts on board you like, employ fancy jump-cuts, overlay a heart thumping soundtrack, color your film palette in post, but if it’s not happening on the page it’s likely all that is going to result is style over substance.

I can assure you it’s all happening on the page in Jean-Pierre Chapoteau’s screenplay, The Relief, starting with an opening scene which sets the tone in terms of that intangible element we call ‘atmosphere’, along with some very nasty creep factor.

Crisolla, a woman in her thirties, stands in front of a mirror in the bathroom of a Chinese restaurant, a picture of herself on the countertop.

What follows is unsettling, intriguing, and quite a bit urgh…

Hunched over the sink, Crisolla holds a thin, straw-like tube underneath her shirt.

The tube is attached to a small box on the sink. The box PUTTERS.

The putter slows. Crisolla removes the tube, which has a sharp end.

She tucks her equipment in her purse.

What the hell just happened? And, what is this woman doing? At this point there’s a temptation to look away, and that’s just from the written word… Just imagine what you could do with a camera and… Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Crisolla joins her boyfriend Leon back at the table and they sit down to a nice dinner.

Thank God, everything’s back to normal…

A discussion ensues between the two, there’s talk of their four month anniversary. Leon is a man of means, his watch cost more than most people’s cars. He’d very much like to cement his union with Crisolla and have her move in with him. But Crisolla has other things on her mind – actually, she seems more preoccupied with her appetite – than she is with any potential carnal desires.

She’s just hoeing into a nice juicy steak, right? Okay, it’s a little on the blue side but there’s nothing wrong with that; everyone likes it rare these days, don’t they?

Upon leaving the restaurant, however, we are now suddenly plunged into a world of:

Soldiers, barricades and checkpoints – there’s an immediate sense of dread, a dystopian feel to this world. A surreal tone is evoked and the temperature has just dropped to chill factor.

When Leon questions a guard’s apparent lax attitude towards Crisolla’s ID papers:

            SOLDIER
We know each other from mutual
acquaintances.

            LEON
…oh. My apologies. I’m a primary
donor to the cause, so you can see
where my concern lies.

We immediately wonder, whose side are you on Leon?

And, ‘primary donor’ of what? What’s the cause Leon speaks of?

My immediate reaction is: What the high hell is going on here?

There are more questions posed too, and they’re all of a very dark nature.

Crisolla is still hungry, but not for what you might imagine. Poor old Leon’s had his offer of cohabitation turned down and now he’s left begging for a good night kiss. He leaves, or rather he’s given short shrift and sent packing.

Alone now in her apartment, the tension ramps up further with the reappearance of the ‘box’, the ‘tube’, and the ‘brown’ sludge. Not only that, but what’s with Crisolla’s weird pre-bedtime ritual of slathering herself from head to foot in some very weird gunk and then lowering herself into a bath of…

Okay, I’ll leave it right there, if you want to know more you’re just going to have to delve deeper yourself.

Filmmakers: Are you a fan of television show, Black Mirror, and of movies Under The Skin and Fight Club? Are you searching for gritty, dark and edgy? Do you want to create atmospheric magic on screen? Look no further.

Take a walk on the dark side with: The Relief.

Budget: Moderate. A few scenes/settings. But nothing unreasonable.

About the writer: Jean-Pierre Chapoteau started writing feature length scripts in 2005 then focused on shorts in 2009. Since then he’s had three scripts produced and two more optioned. He has won several awards for his shorts and has become a moderator at the site MoviePoet, who specialize in the craft of the short scripts. Jean-Pierre was a finalist in the RAW TALENT Competition for his faith based feature length script: ‘Far From Perfect.’ And was also a semi-finalist in the SLAMDANCE teleplay competition and a finalist in the OBSWRITER teleplay contest for his adapted teleplay, Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Guardian. You can contact Jean-Pierre Chapoteau at: jeanpierre425 (a) gmail.com

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Read The Relief

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

On the Job – Short Script Review - post author Guest Reviewer

On The Job Training 1 page in pdf format by Tim Westland

Two grave diggers bond over their work

In its entirety, the world’s shortest novel runs just six words. SIX WORDS; words that relay so much – in so short a span – that more story’s simply not needed. Granted, the details are left to the reader. But six words paint the broad picture. Though not entirely accurate, the tale’s often attributed to Ernest Hemingway. And the novel itself reads like a lesson in brevity:

“For Sale: Baby Shoes, never worn.”

Succinct writing isn’t a gift, or just a useful trick of the literary trade. No – it’s an absolute must when writing for the screen. And good screenwriters learn the ropes quickly: de-flower your adjectives, obliterate your “wrylies.” As an art form, scriptwriting requires a scribe to be dead-on point at all times; strategically detailed in each word they write. And that’s what separates screenwriters from authors. You see, screenwriters don’t need three hundred pages to tell a tale. In fact, in the case of “On The Job Training”, Tim Westland needed only one.

You got that right. A single page. Top to bottom, left to right. Start to Fade Out and Finish. The whole script – in one page. As it opens, Westland’s story follows two men toiling away in a cemetery… absorbed in the task of digging a grave. We quickly learn their names, and ages. And dialogue fills in missing pieces. More aspects are quickly implied: one man is clearly more experienced at this work. His younger successor frets about performing well on the job. Yet it’s what hides in the shadows of sentences that really matters in the end. Resulting in a story that starts long before FADE IN, and lingers on a reader’s mind after Westland’s world FADES TO BLACK. A truly great story – and a prime example of a writer’s craft.

Production: Cast 3 – two grave diggers and one corpse. Location – Dirt. Budget: Minimal.

About the writer Tim Westland is an award winning writer whose many scripts have consistently place in the Semi/Quarter finals in Page, Bluecat, and Screencraft. His screenplay, OBeast, co-authored with frequent writing partner Rod Thompson, finished in the Top 10 of ScreenCraft’s 2017 Horror contest. OBeast is also a 2017 iHorror.com finalist. Tim is also the co-author of the acclaimed horror comic/graphic novel (and screenplay), Chasing the Dead, published by IDW.

About the reviewer: Rod Thompson is an award winning, produced screenwriter of both shorts and features. His tally includes one produced feature length film, four produced short films, a Table Read My Screenplay genre win for Best Drama, a BlueCat Quarter-finalist placing, two NAFF Quarter-finalists and one Semi-finalist placing.”Contact Rod at RodThompson1980 “AT” gmail.com

Read On The Job Training

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Hello – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Guest Reviewer

Hello (20 pages in PDF format) by Rick Hansberry

Interesting what you can find in used bookstores – and often there’s a reason it’s there.

The genre “drama”; as a classification, it tends to be simplistic. Because underneath that ever-so-wide umbrella are a multitude of shades and layers. Thriller dramas: dealing with mysteries, plot turns… the penultimate ticking clock. Sociopolitical dramas: shedding their unforgiving light on society’s often violent conflicts. Emotional crisis dramas: focusing on the impact of fate’s cruel slings and arrows – and the pain that inevitably results. Then there are Introspective dramas – examining the quirky details of Life. Hello belongs in this last category. A gentle, quiet indie script – offering a wry commentary on modern romance…

Young woman Lexi is looking for love. Her best friend is Will – a plugged in young guy, embroiled in a long-distance relationship himself. As the script opens, Lexi’s dragging Will into a used video/bookstore (the absolute last place he’d want to be.) And the last place a relationship might be kindled. But as Will flees to the store next door, Lexi reaches for a book. And finds herself face to face with Chase. A chance encounter. Is it fate?

It’s the perfect “meeting of souls”. But can it survive the cold light of reality? At first, Lexi and Chase’s relationship seems perfect. Until she senses a sea-change in his mood. Along with underlying character traits, not evident upon first meeting. Assisted by ever-supportive Chase, Lexi examines the dynamics of her new relationship. Different personalities. Different lives. A union perhaps not meant to be.

Let’s face it. Everyone’s been there. What can a girl do when faced with a relationship that clicked, then clacked? Can one ever expect a happy ending from a used bookstore called the Second Time Around? Or escape the impulses that make us love who and what we do?

Though firmly set in modern day, Hello reads like a remake of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” – enacted by the cast of Friends. Rest assured, that’s a compliment. Each character an actor’s dream role – endowed with depth and vitality. The dialog’s smart; oozing subtext like beer at a frat party.

In the hands of the right director, Hello has lots of indie potential. A short, eminantly affordable drama that awaits the proper quirky touch.

Budget: Very affordable. A handful of characters, and easily obtainable settings.

About the writer: Rick Hansberry has written/produced several short films, including the SAG Foundation award-winning “Branches.” He teaches screenwriting seminars and workshops in the Central Pennsylvania area and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618) and IMDB credits.

About the reviewer: Michael O’Farrell is a mathematician who worked on the Space Shuttle Program and now writes fiction.

Read Hello

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Insta-Dream – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author L. Chambers

Insta-Dream (5 pages, pdf format) by Richard Russell

What if you could orchestrate the perfect life with the click of a button…

Well, actually you can. Life in the digital age means it’s never been easier to present to the world at least the illusion of perfect.

Log on to Facebook or Instagram and witness the multitude of shiny happy faces, perfect families spouting philosophical platitudes and sunny dispositions; posting funny home-videos, snaps of vacations, announcements of promotions and celebrations of career milestones.

If it’s photogenic enough even your lunch and gourmet coffee can go viral.

Richard Russell’s cleverly titled Insta-Dream presents the idea that even if you don’t like your life you can easily give it an Insta-Facelift.

Enter thirty year old Trevor, not exactly living the life of his dreams. He’s a waiter in a local diner with aspirations of being a writer. So far Trevor has the equivalent of ‘zilch likes’ and he’s about as far away as anyone can get from cracking any best seller lists or making it big with that blockbuster screenplay.

The reality is he’s barely eking out a living serving eggs sunny-side up on minimum wage. There’s one thing however that Trevor can do, and that is to give the illusion that everything in his life is going swimmingly well.

Cue Natalie, also in her thirties, mother to Billy, ten, and Isabella, eight. As they settle into a booth at the diner it’s clear she, Trevor, and the kids share a special rapport. Trevor ruffles Billy’s hair, gives Isabella the warmest of smiles, as they huddle together for what appears to be an idyllic family snap.

But what’s really going on here?

Trevor’s out to impress, that’s for sure, but it’s not Natalie he wants to impress.

See it’s not easy being a hack flipping burgers day to day when your dad is an adventurous traveller off to explore far flung exotic locales. Most recent trip the crystal blue waters and white sands of Bali. Next stop, Prague.

All Trevor wants is to make his dad proud. Nothing wrong with that. Right?

As with all good tales there’s a surprise twist in the final denouement you won’t pick.

Insta-Dream is a poignant heartfelt and bittersweet story where lives intersect but don’t quite connect, where an estranged father and son communicate via the pics and highlights of their lives, where a picture can seem to paint a thousand words, but can be masquerading as something else entirely.

Want your dream to become an Insta-Reality? Best frame up this one quick smart then, before some other lucky filmmaker decides this one is going to be their Insta-Success.

Budget: Low. Locations: A Denny’s type Diner, and two other modest sets. Talent: Three adults, two photogenic kids, and a few extras. No FX needed.

About the writer: Richard Russell A writer should never pen his own bio. What seems important to a writer will no doubt bore most readers. Yet, writers do create their own bios, to the chagrin of everyone. My bio must be short and to the point as I have few literary successes to boast of. It seems I have been writing all my life, and indeed, if pages of print equal success, then I am as successful as anyone. Pages alone, though, doesn’t connote fame or success, just pages. I live in North Carolina, and I write whenever and however I can. The mere act of writing produces a joy that I find in no other endeavor. Whether or not my writing becomes known to many means little to me. Oh, I would love to be a household name, but that is not my goal. My goal is to write stories that compel the reader to finish. My goal is to create tales that will not let me quit them in mid-sentence. I am a dreamer and a procrastinator, and those traits are not ingredients for success. I also suffer from reverse paranoia. I think people are plotting to make me happy.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Read Insta-Dream (pdf format)

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Friday, February 17, 2017

The Deuce – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Zach Zupke

The Deuce (10 pages in pdf format) by R. E. McManus

An elevator and two guys on their way up. What can go down?

We’ve all been there. A hundred times, some of us more than a thousand. It’s the world’s most uncomfortable space. Some are boxy, most rectangular. Fans, no fans. Carpeted or tiled. Mirrored or paneled. But always stuffy, cramped and slower than slow is: the infamous elevator ride.

I recently (true story alert) took a ride in my office building all the way from the penthouse to the ground floor. One floor down, six people shuffled in – one holding a newly-peeled banana, which she consumed as we descended. Ever peel a banana in a closet? With 10 other people present? Not an ideal situation for the senses. And that’s putting it mildly.

The situation is similarly far from appealing (pun alert) for Dominic Barry’s elevator ride in R. E. McManus’ “The Deuce,” a riveting and witty 10-page journey starting with:

“The sound of a body being dragged over concrete.”

The body is Dom’s and the draggers are Joey, 22-year-old scowler, and his pal Chrissy, “The type who could chew a toothpick without looking stupid.” Chrissy’s the brains of the operation, the sole purpose of which is: deliver Dom to the eighty-eighth floor.

Problem is, Dom’s not awake and Joey and Chrissy (think distant, but equally witty, cousins of Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega) differ on the importance of his consciousness.

            JOEY
Maybe I should wake him up.

            CHRISSY
You can ravish him for all I care.

Joey looks disgusted.

            JOEY
There’s no need to be so, so base.

There’s a “ding” as floor number 40 unexpectedly lights up. Chrissy pulls Joey tight to shield Dom as the doors open. Nothing. It’s a misfire in the mechanics. Doors close, and they resume ascending… just as poor Dom stirs. Joey and Chrissy pull out their silencers, an act which fails to silence Dom. He demands to know how he’s found himself bruised and battered in a dressing gown, plastic cable ties around his hands and feet.

“You’re David Barry and we’re taking you to John Feltz,” they tell him. Duh.

“I’m Dominic Barry and who is John Feltz?” Dom replies.

So the elevator rises, along with everyone’s blood pressure. Who is John Feltz? Is Dom really Dom, not David? Or is he just lying to stay alive? What will Feltz do if they deliver the wrong man? And why is the elevator stopping on the wrong floor yet again, this time on 70? Will all three men make it to the top?

You’ll be floored when you read the entirety of “The Deuce,” a suspenseful ride filled with exceptional dialogue. It’s an excellent opportunity for the right director and capable actors. Interest in this gem is sure to be…going up.

Budget: Minimal. Find a mate who works in an office building to let you in for a day on the weekend. Just make sure his last name’s not Feltz.

About the writer: R.E. McManus was born in England, of Irish roots. Hence he was always a little confused. He has since travelled the globe, and noted what he saw on his travels. He’s been writing since he could pick up a pen. The fact they were IOUs is neither here nor there.

He fell in love with film when he first saw 2001: A Space Odyssey at the age of six. Although he’s still not sure about the spelling of Odyssey. It’s still looks wrong,

He loves Fincher, Hitchcock and Kubrick. And Faith No More. And Elvis. He even has a dog named after him. This seemed like a good idea until he went to the park.

Visit his webstie at: rendevous.yolasite.com. Or email him directly at redarcy2000 (a) yahoo.co.uk

About the reviewer: Zack Zupke is a writer in Los Angeles. He can be contacted via email at zzupke “AT” yahoo

Read The Deuce (pdf format)

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Free – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author David M Troop

Free (76 page Sci Fi Drama in pdf format) by Paul J. Williams

An honor student begins the next phase of his life.

If time travel was scientifically possible, what would you do? Really?

Would you change the course of human history? Or simply go back and tell someone you loved them – one last time? Would you prevent a horrific accident from occurring, saving thousands of lives? Or spend the day with one special person, and change their life forever?

Time travel and its possibilities – it’s been the theme of some of the most popular movies in history (in a variety of genres): The Terminator travels back in time to eliminate an enemy by killing his mother. In Groundhog’s Day, an egotistical weatherman relives the same day again and again – until he learns the true meaning of love.

In his short script “Free”, Paul Williams explores a question we’ve all asked ourselves. What if we could go back and time, and undo a costly mistake?

Although only eighteen, Robert McKenna has a lifetime of accomplishment ahead of him. A brilliant and promising merit scholar, Robert studies quantum physics – specializing in the theory of time-travel. Staying at home with his mother and younger brother Timmy (12), Robert’s preparing for a four year trip. He whiles away the remaining hours working on equations and algorithms… making sure they’re absolutely right.

But Timmy won’t let him be. Seeking his big brother’s attention, he pesters Robert with questions. About the possibilities of time travel. And Robert’s own plans for the future. Has his big brother found a gateway to the past? And if so… what’s his motivation?

Free may have the sheen of Science Fiction. But at heart, it’s a tragedy. About families. Grief, loss and regret. And wishing you could solve life’s problems with a mathematical solution. If only it was that easy.

This is a script that every skilled director wishes for: subtle and deeply touching, with layers of rich symbolism. Properly brought to the screen, it’ll haunt your audiences for a long time.

Budget: Low to moderate. One location: an upper middle-class home. And a pet bird. (Don’t ask – just read the script!)

About the writer: Paul J. Williams is a New Jersey-based multi-award-winning screenwriter, producer, and director with several scripts in various stages of film production. He has been a member of the New Jersey Screenwriter’s Group since 2009. His latest movie, Case #5930, which he wrote and produced, was released in 2015.

He has also served as a decorated law enforcement officer for the past eighteen years, both as a Federal Officer with the U.S. Department of Justice and as a Police Officer for the City of Newark, N.J.

He can be reached at pauljwilliams9 (a) yahoo. Check out his IMDB page.

About the reviewer: David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus. Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced. Dave would like to make it three. He is a regular, award-winning contributor to MoviePoet.com. Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 (a) gmail.

Read Free

Find more scripts available for production

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Search with Google

    Custom Search SimplyScripts

Award Season Screenplays - New!

ScriptSearch

Advertisement

Script of the Day
July 21, 2025

More Navigation

Search Amazon

    Search Now:
    In Association with Amazon.com

Featured SimplyScripts Blogs

Advertisement

Latest Entries

Categories

Donate


Writers I dig




SimplyScripts Logo

Comodo SSL