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Friday, November 4, 2016

How to Pronounce Hawaiian – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author KP Mackie

How To Pronounce Hawaiian (pdf format) by Sylvia Dahlby

“A gold-digger makes a friendly wager with her sugar daddy.”

Short and sweet. Less is more. Keep It Simple, Silly (KISS.) In the screenwriting world of character arcs and complex premises, a short and funny story can often be a breath of pure, fresh air…

As it is with Sylvia Dahlby’s efficient two-pager, How to Pronounce Hawaiian. As the script opens, 56 year old Rich and his much young girlfriend Tiffany sit in a convertible, parked in a fast food drive-thru lane. They’re in Hawaii. Somewhere. As Tiffany scours the map, she wonders aloud why Rich grab his trusty GPS. But Rich insists they aren’t lost. On the contrary – he knows exactly where they are. Kealakekua.

Say what?

The word doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. As the argument deepens, Rich and Tiffany take turns pronouncing the city’s name – each with their own garbled spin. Which inspires Tiffany to offer a small wager. Retrieving a magazine, she flips to a picture of a pearl necklace. If her pronunciation proves correct, Rich will buy the jewelry for her. If his is accurate? Tiffany whispers the offer in his ear. She’ll… well, you know. (Readers – keep those innuendos to yourself, please!)

And with that, the bet is on.

So, how will it end? Far be it from us to spoil the surprise…

Looking for a snappy punchline that’s easy to film? HTPH is your ticket. It’s guaranteed to make you (and your audience) smile. Not to mention attempt to say “Kealakekua” yourself. And Googling “Don Ho.” Say who? We won’t tell.

Pages: 2

Budget: Low, unless you fly to Hawaii and film the fast-food restaurant exterior there. (No little grass shack required.) Three characters round out this story set in paradise. Aloha. 🙂

About the Writer Sylvia Dahlby: I’m a one time advertising copywriter who has fallen in love with screenwriting. I’ve written a handful of features, one has been produced as a Role Playing Game (RPG) and made its debut at CarnageCon. I enjoy writing short scripts since it’s a fun exercise for sharpening my skills; so far one of my shorts has been produced as a student film project, and I welcome the opportunity to have more of my work produced via participation on SimplyScripts. Sylvia can be reached at sylviedahl (a) AOL.

About the Reviewer: California über reader/reviewer KP Mackie is working hard on her animated feature.

Read How To Pronounce Hawaiian (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Focus Features is out of the gate with screenplays for Kubo … And The Two String and Loving - post author Don

Focus Features is next out the gate with:

Edit Focus Features pulled Nocturnal Animals and A Monster Calls

Kubo … And The Two Strings – January 5, 2016 unspecified draft script by Marc Haimes & Chris Butler (Story by Shannon Tindle & Marc Haimes) – hosted by: Focus Features – in pdf format

Kubo lives a quiet, normal life in a small shoreside village until a spirit from the past turns his life upside down by re-igniting an age-old vendetta. This causes all sorts of havoc as gods and monsters chase Kubo who, in order to survive, must locate a magical suit of armor once worn by his late father, a legendary Samurai warrior.

Information courtesy of

Loving – August 25, 2015 unspecified draft script by Jeff Nichols – hosted by: Focus Features – in pdf format

Richard and Mildred Loving, an interracial couple, are sentenced to prison in Virginia in 1958 for getting married.

Information courtesy of

You will find these and more on the Scripts Studios are Posting for 2016 – 2017 Script Award Consideration page.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Trapped – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Pete Barry

Trapped* (pdf format) by Chris Keaton

Searching for a bit of the past, a survivor of an apocalypse finds himself trapped.

Spoiler alert: you’re going to die.

It could be quick – a sneaky brain aneurysm that shuts you off like a light switch. Or maybe it’ll be the slow torture of terminal illness. Or a sudden, tragic accident. But whatever the fates hold in store, you’ll have to face it. Eventually. That’s one of the reasons horror is such a beloved genre. It’s our morbid fascination of watching the human animal in its death throes… and wondering how we ourselves will fare.

Written by talented screenwriter Chris Keaton, Trapped is just such a tale. Bleak. Grim. Depressing. And you won’t be able to turn your eyes away.

In the indeterminate future, society’s collapsed. Dave’s been struggling to survive ever since. Wandering through desolate terrain. Scavaging. Surviving by any means necessary. Which has worked… at least, until now. In a lightening quick moment of lousy luck, he finds himself trapped in an abandoned garage; pinned under an engine block at the bottom of a pit. Unless a miracle happens, Dave’s reached The End.

There’s no chance of medical care. Wild dogs prowl outside. And he hasn’t seen another human being in months. But when a small group of travelers discover Dave’s predicament, it looks like he might be saved! But is it the help he was praying for? Or something else entirely?

Much like The Walking Dead (and other post-apocalyptic tales), Trapped is framed against the death of society. But the story itself is far more personal. Surprisingly uplifting in certain ways, it’s about facing your own mortality. And appreciating the small joys of life… while you can.

Horror and thriller indie directors take note: the potential for great performances in this one is vast. A small cast – no FX. All that’s needed is someone with the vision to bring it to screen. Grab this little gem while you can.

Or you can ignore it. It’s your funeral.

Pages: 7

Budget: Mid-range. Set in an automotive garage, there are a few “equipment” requirements. But nothing that would break the bank. (Especially if you’re pals with a local mechanic!)

About the writer: Chris Keaton is an Air Force veteran living with his family in sunny Arizona. He’s primarily a screenwriter, but he does love diving into prose. He has had several short screenplays produced and go on to win awards. He’s optioned a few features screenplays and currently has a thriller feature in post-production. A young-adult novel based on one of his screenplays is soon to be released. You can see some of his projects on his website, or follow him on Facebook at

About the reviewer: Pete Barry is an award-winning screenwriter, playwright, actor, director and musician. His short plays have been published in numerous collections. He’s also a cofounder of the Porch Room, a film and theater production company, website available at Please feel free to reach out to him with script requests at petebarry27 (a) Hotmail.

Read Trapped* (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

*Fixed the broken link

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Run – Short Script Review - post author Ingrid Short

Run (pdf format) by Victor Miranda

A running athlete has all the motivation he needs to win a race.

This story is particularly resonant in light of the ever increasing refugee crisis.

Our protagonist Mondon, the son of an African farmer, is a runner. But a runner out of necessity when his village is pillaged by mercenaries. He saves the life of an orphaned little girl who is later able to repay the kindness when her circumstances change.

Fleeing his village he lands in a refugee camp where, despite compromised circumstances, he is still able to train. A gift from the little girl he saved gives him the tools to escape and run to something better.

This is a powerful, visceral, and poignant story.

Pages: 4 pages

Budget: Medium Budget. Stock stadium crowd footage, running track, creativity needed with mercenaries. Oh, and a few runners and a little girl.

About the Writer: Victor Miranda hails from Mexico and has a degree in International Relations. He’s written 4 short films and 2 features ones. Next year he plans to submit one of his features to the Black List. Victor can be reached at: vmmr.87 (a)

Read Run (PDF format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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