ASH HOLE (4-page short comedy screenplay) by DAVID LAMBERTSON

A fitting celebration of one’s life.

I’m sure you’ve all been to a funeral and/or wake at some moment in your life. Usually, people say nice things about the deceased and exchange fond memories. BUT… what happens when there’s nothing nice to say about the deceased? What happens when mostly everyone at the wake despises them? Well, writer David Lambertson’s hilarious dark comedy “Ash Hole” gives us an idea.

We open at a wake being held at a restaurant where we see a large, printed photo of the deceased posted up on a tripod, Bobby Joe (42 at the time of his death). His younger brothers, Jimmy and Ray have the urn with Bobby Joe’s ashes in it. And it’s made very clear that neither brother was very fond of Bobby Joe.

Jimmy makes a good counterpoint: ashes are thick and it would clog the toilet. So, Ray decides to dump a little bit into the toilet at a time. After all, it all ends up at sea anyway, right?

Soon, Jimmy gets in on the action, flushing just a little bit of the ashes down the toilet.

Neither brother wants to make a three-hour trip to the ocean to dump the rest of the remains. So they come up with a proposition to the rest of the “mourners” still at the restaurant.

And the fun doesn’t stop there: there’s even a twist to cap off an already laugh-out-loud romp. This comes highly recommended to any filmmakers looking for a hilarious, budget-friendly comedy to produce.

BUDGET: Low (one location).

ABOUT THE WRITER: David Lambertson: I took up writing rather late in life having already been retired before I put pen to paper (okay – finger to computer key) for the first time. My favorite genres to read and write are dramedies and romantic comedies. In addition to this short, I have written four features; “The Last Statesman” (a 2015 PAGE finalist and a Nicholl’s and BlueCat quarter-finalist), “The Beginning of The End and The End” (a PAGE Semi-Finalist). “Taking Stock” (a drama) and a new comedy – “Screw You Tube”. Want to learn more? Reach Dave at dlambertson (at) hotmail! And visit his website.

Read: ASH HOLE (4-page short comedy screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are fourteen original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Unrelated (5 page Comedy) by PC

A young man’s dream of getting married is ruined by his father, but saved by his mother. 5 pages

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GLOOMY SUNDAY (30-page short horror screenplay) by Kevin Machate

When a mysterious stranger comes to him to learn a song long believed to lead to suicide, music teacher Jonah Horvath must discover the truth behind both the stranger and the mysterious song before he becomes yet another victim of Gloomy Sunday.

Before I get to the review of the actual story, I’ll tell you what caught my attention before I even opened the script up: Gloomy Sunday was also a song composed by Hungarian musician Reszo Seress in 1933. The song was also dubbed The Hungarian Suicide Song because, supposedly, listening to this song made people commit suicide all over the world.. The mythology of the song is captivating on its own, so I was immediately drawn to this story. And, to my delight, writer Kevin Machate’s atmospheric gothic horror short plays on that mythology.

The story opens with 33-year-old Reszo Seress (the actual, real-life composer) writing the song we’d come to know as Gloomy Sunday in Paris, France circa 1933. His inspiration for the song came from real life after becoming estranged from his lover, Erzsebet. Many great works have been inspired by heartbreak. But THIS work in particular seems to have conjured up something else… something evil.

Cut to present day where we meet music teacher, Jonah Horvath. He juggles graduate school while giving piano lessons for peanuts (practically). One day, he receives a visit from a very mysterious man who looks and acts like he’s from another time period. The Man offers Jonah an unusual amount of money to teach him how to play one song and one song only: “Gloomy Sunday”.

We jump between different time periods where we see different people succumb to the curse of the song after learning how to play it. And, each time these people commit suicide (as if under a trance), we see this mysterious man lurking. Who is this man and what is his purpose? And will Jonah suffer from the same fate once he plays the song?

Gloomy Sunday (the script) is a sprawling, epic gothic horror that packs a lot into its 30 pages. It’s an effectively creepy story that doesn’t rely on cheap jump scares: it sends chills up your spine with its eerie atmosphere and suspenseful buildup, giving us characters we both care about and fear. This would be a fantastic film for any filmmaker to take on. Hopefully, the curse isn’t real. Read if you dare!

BUDGET: Moderate.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Although he began his film career as an actor, Kevin Machate quickly moved into producing and eventually directing and writing. Kevin’s films and screenplays have won numerous awards worldwide with his two most recent films having been screened in various cities in the US, Europe, South America, Oceania, and Asia. He has directed six short films and his credits as a producer have exceeded 50 at the time of this writing. His recent works include three short series starring Golden Globe and Tony Award winner Barry Bostwick and Saturn Award Winner Doug Jones, along with a series of short musical and educational videos (With puppets!) starring Ed Helms.

Read: GLOOMY SUNDAY (30-page short horror screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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THE SHADOWS (2-page short horror screenplay) by Matthew Taylor

A scared woman takes to the City’s shadowy alleyways to escape her pursuer.

Looks can be deceiving, at least in Matthew Taylor’s atmospheric horror micro-short, The Shadows, which was the 2nd highest rated script in the 1st round of the Simply Scripts May Writing Challenge (and my personal favorite).

The story opens in the dark, city streets where we meet Tabi as she runs for her life barefoot while wearing a cocktail dress. We don’t a lot but we know she’s running from someone… or something. We soon find out that she’s running from a hooded man but we don’t know why this man is chasing her. We can only assume he has evil intentions.

You ever watch a horror movie and yell at the screen when a character makes a questionable decision? Well, that’s exactly what Tabi does when she decides to dart into an even darker back alley with her pursuer not very far behind. She even trips and falls! For God’s sake, it almost seems like these people in these movies WANT to get caught! BUT…

While the setup uses very familiar horror tropes, the story takes us into a completely different direction, completely subverting our expectations as an audience and hitting us with a complete curve-ball. Even after the curve-ball, the surprises and twists keep coming… and all within two pages!

I can’t provide any more information about the story – it would spoil the fun of discovering the twists on your own. But I assure you, this one makes fantastic use of its two pages, packing in A LOT in such a short amount of time. This one is NOT short on thrills. And the creepy atmosphere and imagery elevate this even more above your average horror thriller.

If you’re a filmmaker looking for something budget-friendly that has serious viral potential, I recommend scooping this one up before someone else does.

BUDGET: Shoe-string.

ABOUT THE WRITER: Matthew Taylor is an accountant from Shakespeare’s county. Though fairly new to screenwriting, he is a naturally gifted storyteller hitting his stride as a writer, recently securing an option for one of his scripts. Though he’s always learning and looking to improve his craft, his skill level is far more advanced than most writers with similarly limited experience. Matthew spends his spare time reading scripts and books. His dream is to be able to make a living from screenwriting, specializing in the science fiction and fantasy genres.

Read: THE SHADOWS (2-page short horror screenplay)

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*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production.

About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

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Over on the Original Scripts page are 14 original, unproduced scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Hannah learns that running from her demons only makes things worse.

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Mikey’s Discount Drive-In Ep 4: W/ Actor Asta Paredes

KITTENS (4-page short thriller radio screenplay) by PAUL KNAUER

When it comes to love, always have a backup plan.

Coming in a very close 2nd place in April’s audio-only themed Quickie Challenge is a thriller from writer, Paul Knauer, about a man who has a very bad problem being loyal to his wife… to the point where it becomes deadly.

NOTE: Now, there are minor visuals in this script, but it’s mainly Jake’s hand on the various cell phones he uses (more on that later).

The story opens with Jake answering a phone call from his wife, Lisa – though he refers to her by the cute pet name “Kitten”. Apparently, he’s away on a business trip in Memphis, shacked up in a hotel. Of course, Jake is lying – as always. But, this time, Lisa is on to him.

As Lisa breaks things off with him over the phone, Jake gets another call… from another cell phone. This is from his girlfriend, Cora, who he also refers to as “Kitten”. She just so happens to be on her way to meet up with him. She just had to make one stop – at Lisa’s house.

Desperately trying to call his wife back to warn her, more and more cell phones ring, one after the other, a cell phone for each woman he’s seeing on the side (and he refers to all of them as “Kitten”). It gets so confusing that he forgets which phone his wife is on, which makes it even more frantic since the clock is ticking…

I won’t spoil the ending for you, but the chaotic finale ends on a darkly comic note that’ll make you both squirm and chuckle at the same time.

BUDGET: No-budget – shoestring (99% audio).

ABOUT THE WRITER: Paul is an optioned and produced screenwriter working out of the Kansas City area. His main focus is thrillers and slightly absurdist comedy with heart, most of them about life in the Midwest U.S. His first script, a sitcom pilot titled OH, BROTHER!, placed second in the 2012 Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition and was subsequently optioned. Paul’s diverse portfolio includes several feature thrillers, a couple of comedy features and multiple sitcom pilots, as well as dozens of shorts across genres. He believes that becoming a better writer requires the ability to push personal boundaries.

Read: KITTENS(4-page short thriller radio screenplay)

Discuss on the Discussion Board

*This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production.

About the Reviewer: Michael J. Kospiah is the award-winning screenwriter of critically acclaimed indie-thriller, The Suicide Theory (79% Rotten Tomatoes – available on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, etc) and 2020’s upcoming Aussie thriller, Rage. His horror feature, They Never Left is currently in development.

Subscribe to Michael’s YouTube Channel.