Under Your Spell, chapter 4: “This Date In History”

	               	COLD OPENING

               	SCENE 1

INT. PHIL'S OFFICE - LATE MORNING 

(THE OFFICE IS EMPTY UNTIL SANDRA SEAWRIGHT SUDDENLY MATERIALIZES NEAR PHIL'S DESK.)

			SANDRA 
		
	Phil? Phil? Where is he?

(SHE'S NEARLY READY TO OPEN THE DOOR AND LOOK FOR HIM WHEN MATTHEW LEE ENTERS.)

			MATTHEW 

	Have you seen Phil Seawright?

(SANDRA SMILES.)

			SANDRA 

	I'm looking for him myself -- I'm his older sister, Sandra. And you are...

			MATTHEW 

	Matthew Lee. I do publicity and Web sites for Scott Gallagher. I need his picture for a promo shot.

			SANDRA 

	Oh, I can take care of that.

(SHE OPENS HER HANDBAG, PUTS HER HAND INSIDE AND SUBTLY SNAPS, THEN PULLS OUT A PICTURE, HANDING IT TO MATTHEW.)
		
			MATTHEW 

	Nice -- but I doubt we can use it.

(THE PICTURE SHOWS A 12-YEAR-OLD PHIL WEARING A PHILLIES CAP AND RED PINSTRIPE YOUTH PHILLIES UNIFORM.)
			SANDRA 

	Let's look for Phil, then go for lunch, okay?

               	MAIN TITLES

               	ACT ONE

               	SCENE 2

INT. PHIL'S OFFICE - EARLY AFTERNOON 

(PHIL SEAWRIGHT IS AT HIS COMPUTER, REVISING A SCRIPT.)

			PHIL (V.O.)

	Hope I looked okay in that picture Matthew took. I always blink!

(HE SIGHS; MARJORIE GARWOOD OPENS THE DOOR TO HIS OFFICE AND PEERS IN.)

			MARJORIE 

	Mind if I talk to you for a minute?
			
			PHIL 

		(SMILES)

	Go right ahead. Just trying to hone the scene in the "Under Her Spell" pilot where you get the job.

			MARJORIE 

	At the "All Of Your Business" newswire. I love that title!

			PHIL 

	Randolph's idea, and a good one.

			MARJORIE 

	But I'm not here to discuss the script. I need your help.

			PHIL 
	Doing what?
(MARJORIE SITS ON THE EDGE OF HIS DESK. SHE'S WEARING A SHORT DRESS AND SHOWS A LOT OF LEG THAT PHIL CAN'T HELP BUT SEE.)

			MARJORIE 

	It just so happens I'm supposed to attend a ball tomorrow night in Bel-Air, and my date, Harv Horton--
		
			PHIL 

		(LOOKS UP TO HER FACE)

	The heavy-metal drummer?

			MARJORIE 

	Yep, he's the one. Anyway, he called to say he can't make it, so I need someone to fill in for him.

			PHIL 

		(PUTS HAND TO CHIN.)

	Who do I know that could replace him?

(MARJORIE GIGGLES.)

			MARJORIE 

	I was referring to...you.

(PHIL IS STUNNED.)

			PHIL 

		(POINTS TO HIMSELF.)

	Me?

			MARJORIE 

		(POINTS BACK.)

	You.

			PHIL 
		(SHRUGS SHOULDERS.)

	Why?
			MARJORIE 

	I liked talking to you at Randolph's party the other night, plus I think you're, well, kinda cute.

			PHIL 

		(GRINS)

	Well, my mother's always said I'm reasonably attractive. I'm up to it. Do I need formal wear?

(MARJORIE WAVES HER HAND.)

			MARJORIE 

	Nah, a good suitcoat and tie will be fine. Meet me in front of the office at 7 tomorrow night, okay?

(PHIL NODS.)

			PHIL 

	Sure.

			MARJORIE 

	See you then.

(SHE GETS OFF HIS DESK AND LEAVES, CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HER.)

			PHIL 

		(STARES UP AT CEILING.)

	Wow.

(HE MAGICALLY FLOATS OFF HIS CHAIR FOR A FEW SECONDS, UNTIL HIS PHONE RINGS AND JOLTS HIM BACK TO REALITY.)

               	SCENE 3

INT. GALLAGHER'S LOBBY - AFTERNOON 
(PHIL GLEEFULLY WALKS PAST VALERIE'S DESK.)

			VALERIE 

	Why are you so suddenly giddy?

			PHIL 

	Me -- giddy?

			VALERIE 

		(SOFTLY)

	I've been around in one female form or another since 999 A.D. I know giddy.

			PHIL 

	Oh, all right. I have a date!

			VALERIE 

	I had one too last night, though I didn't know it at the time.

			PHIL 

	That agent? I heard about it.

			VALERIE 

	I'm happy for you. Nice you've met someone so quickly.

			PHIL 

	Wait -- I didn't tell you who it was with.

			VALERIE 

	Okay, who?
			PHIL 

		(SMILES)

	Marjorie Garwood.

(VALERIE'S EYES OPEN WIDE; SHE'S DUMBSTRUCK.)
			VALERIE 

	That took a lot of gumption, asking a big star like her for a date. Or did you hypnotize her?

(PHIL LAUGHS.)

			PHIL 

	No...she asked me. I'm flattered.

			VALERIE 

	Not bad. When's the date?

			PHIL 

	Tomorrow night. A party in Bel-Air.

			VALERIE 

	Very good. Just be on your best behavior, and watch out for her. She can be a handful.

(SANDRA AND MATTHEW JOYFULLY WALK INTO THE OFFICE.)

			SANDRA 

		(TO MATTHEW)

	You're a publicist, I'm a copy editor -- we both use words!

			PHIL 

		(SARCASTICALLY LAUGHS.)

	So do I for that matter, sis.

			MATTHEW 

	Just had lunch with Sandra at that Italian place down the block. She's a lot of fun.

(PHIL NODS.)

			PHIL 

	Yes, I've noticed that. Oh, Sandra, I'm going on a date tomorrow night...with Marjorie Garwood!

(SANDRA SMILES.)

			SANDRA 

	Philip Winthrop Seawright, you sure are moving up in this world, aren't you?

(VALERIE GIGGLES.)

			VALERIE 

		(TO PHIL)

	Winthrop? Your middle name is Winthrop?

			SANDRA 

		(LOOKS AT WATCH.)

	Matt, I've got to get to my newspaper now. Can I call you later?

			MATTHEW 

	I gave you my card earlier. Call me at home tonight.

			SANDRA 

	Will do, and congratulations, Phil. Bye!

(SHE SUBTLY WAVES AT MATTHEW, THEN LEAVES.)

			VALERIE 

		(SINGS SOFTLY, BEMUSEDLY)

	Love is in the air, everywhere I look around...

(SCOTT GALLAGHER ENTERS)

			SCOTT 

	Phil, I want you, Randolph and Anita in my office in ten minutes. Need an update on the pilot's progress.

			PHIL 
	I'll go find them.

(PHIL NODS AND FOLLOWS SCOTT, TURNING TO SHAKE HIS HEAD TO VALERIE.)

               	SCENE 4

EXT. BEL-AIR MANSION - EVENING 

(PHIL, IN BUSINESS WEAR, EXITS A LIMOUSINE, AND MARJORIE, IN A LONG, SPARKLING BLACK DRESS SLIT TO THE THIGH, FOLLOWS.)

			PHIL 

	Never ridden a limousine before.

			PHIL (V.O.)

	At least not in this life.

(MARJORIE SMILES AT HIM.)

			MARJORIE 

	In this game, you have to make a proper entrance. And with the limo, and this dress, I think I do.

			PHIL 

	May this mere mortal escort the goddess to the entrance?

			MARJORIE 

	By all means. Though I will say, you are one handsome mortal.

			PHIL 

	I try.

               	SCENE 5

INT. BEL-AIR MANSION - EVENING 

(ABOUT FIFTY PEOPLE, ALL IN THEIR TWENTIES AND THIRTIES AND ELEGANTLY DRESSED, ARE ENJOYING THE PARTY IN A LARGE BALLROOM, INCLUDING PHIL AND MARJORIE.)

			PHIL 

	To borrow a line from Cole Porter, what a swell party this is!

(TAKES AN HORS D'OEUVRE FROM A WAITRESS' TRAY.)

			MARJORIE 

	Glad you're enjoying this.

			PHIL 

	If you don't mind, I'm going to mingle.

			MARJORIE 

	Go right ahead.

(AS HE LEAVES, VERONICA RESTON, AN OLD FRIEND OF MARJORIE'S, WALKS UP TO HER, DRINK IN HAND.)

			VERONICA 

	Marjorie Garwood!

			MARJORIE 

	And Veronica Reston! Been a long time since you played my sister in "Fear At Dawn."

			VERONICA 

	Not that long. Say, who was the guy with you? Didn't recognize him.

			MARJORIE 

	Ah, just a writer for my new sitcom. Cute guy, but not much for any celeb photographers showing up.

			VERONICA 

	A fill-in, I take it.

			MARJORIE 

		(NODS)

	You're so perceptive.

(A WAITER WALKS OVER TO MARJORIE.)

			WAITER 

	Excuse me, madame, but we need you at the front entrance. There's a slight problem.

(MARJORIE FOLLOWS THE WAITER.)

			MARJORIE 

		(TO VERONICA)

	I have no idea what this is about...

               	SCENE 6

INT. BEL-AIR MANSION LOBBY - EVENING 

(A DOORMAN IS CLUTCHING THE HAND OF HARV HORTON, WHO'S SCRUFFILY DRESSED IN A JACKET WITH NO TIE, AS MARJORIE AND THE WAITER ENTER.)

			DOORMAN 

	Miss Garwood, this man claims to be your date this evening, though we know you entered with someone else.

			HARV 

	Marj, you gotta vouch for me!

			MARJORIE 

	But you had--

			HARV 

	The session was canceled. Lead guitarist has the flu.

			MARJORIE 

	Then let him in.

(WAITER PULLS MARJORIE ASIDE.)

			WAITER 

	If you read the invitation, you specifically saw that you were allowed only one guest. 

			MARJORIE 

	Which means--

			WAITER 

	If he goes in, the person whom you came with must be escorted out. Silly, true, but I don't make the rules.

(MARJORIE THINKS IT OVER FOR A SECOND.)

			WAITER 

	Well...

			MARJORIE 

		(POINTS TO HARV.)

	Let him in,

(WHISPERS)

			MARJORIE 

	And take Phil out.

               	SCENE 7

INT. BEL-AIR MANSION - EVENING 

(PHIL IS MINGLING, TALKING WITH FILM PRODUCER KEN KLINEMAN.)

			KEN 

	I'd love to do a good sophisticated romantic comedy, but the studios demand formula these days.

			PHIL 

	Formula -- great for horror, lousy for comedy.

(KEN NODS, AS THE WAITER WALKS UP TO PHIL.)

			WAITER 

		(SOFTLY)

	I regret to inform you, sir, that you will have to leave.

(PHIL IS PUZZLED.)

			PHIL 

	Why? I followed the dress code. Heck, I'm even wearing cufflinks, see?

(THE WAITER SMILES AND PULLS PHIL AWAY FROM KEN.)

			WAITER 

	It's not your fault, sir, believe me, but rules are rules.

(HE ESCORTS PHIL TO THE DOOR. AS HE LEAVES, PHIL SEES MARJORIE WITH HARV, PAPARAZZI TAKING PHOTOS OF THEM, IN THE CORNER OF HIS EYE. SHE SEES PHIL AND NODS IN SYMPATHY, THEN HOLDS UP HER HANDS.)

			PHIL 

	What the heck is going on?

(THE WAITER PUSHES PHIL OUTSIDE, THEN CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND HIM.)

			PHIL 

	I don't believe this.

(HE WALKS DOWN A HILL FROM THE DRIVEWAY, SEES A NEARBY TREE AND HIDES BEHIND IT.)

			PHIL 

	Might as well go home. How embarrassing.

(HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS WITH A NOTICEABLE LACK OF ENERGY. NOTHING HAPPENS.)

			PHIL 

	It's that kind of night.

(HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS AGAIN, AND THIS TIME DISAPPEARS.)

               	ACT TWO

               	SCENE 8

INT. GALLAGHER'S LOBBY - MORNING 

(VALERIE IS AT HER DESK WHEN A DESPONDENT PHIL WALKS IN.)

			VALERIE 

	Something tells me your dream date became a nightmare.

			PHIL 

	Pretty obvious, I guess. When her original date arrived, she chose him over me and I was kicked out.

			VALERIE 

	Sounds brutal.

			PHIL 

	And humiliating. I felt this big.

(MAKES A SPACE BETWEEN FOREFINGER AND THUMB.)

			VALERIE 

	You mean...

(PREPARES TO SNAP FINGERS)

			PHIL 

	Please don't shrink me. I'm in no mood for literalism.

(SHAKES HIS HEAD.)

			PHIL 

	Who would want to date me, anyhow?
			VALERIE 

	Shall I arrange catering for your pity party, Mr. Seawright? Listen, you've got a lot to offer.

			PHIL 

	Earlier, she called me the oldest 26-year-old guy she knew, and it wasn't complimenting my maturity.

			VALERIE 

	C'mon, bounce back. As the song goes, only the strong survive. Suppose I arranged a blind date for you?

			PHIL 

	You know someone?

			VALERIE 

	I have contacts. C'mon, get out of your funk.

(PHIL NODS.)

			PHIL 

	Oh, all right. My other problem now is how am I going to face Marjorie the next time I see her?

			VALERIE 

	She's to blame for this, not you. If you feel small around her, she'll have you right where she wants you.

(PHIL NODS AS MATTHEW COMES IN.)

			MATTHEW 

	Good morning, all. Hey, Phil, Sandra and I talked on the phone for about an hour last night.

			PHIL 

		(SMILES)

	Really? I'm glad you two are hitting it off so well.

			MATTHEW 

	I'm taking her to see Elvis Costello this Friday. It's sold out, but some tickets are still left for Saturday.

			PHIL 

	Well, enjoy. Costello's a gas.

			MATTHEW 

	Never heard him described quite that way before, but you're right.

(MATTHEW WALKS PAST PHIL TO HIS OFFICE.)

			PHIL 

		(TO VALERIE)

	And I better be getting to work, too.

(LEAVES TO GO TO HIS OFFICE.)

			VALERIE 
	Well, since I have a few minutes...

(PULLS A CELL PHONE FROM HER HANDBAG AND PUNCHES IN A NUMBER.)

			VALERIE 

	Hello, Ameriwitch? Your temporary personnel department, please...

               	SCENE 9

INT. RANDOLPH'S OFFICE - LATE MORNING 

(PHIL, RANDOLPH HENDERSON AND ANITA DeVESTY ARE SITTING AROUND A TABLE, WITH SCRIPTS ALL ABOUT.)

			RANDOLPH 

	I wanted to let you two know that after the alterations you made to Josie's character...

			ANITA 
	You're referring to the change from a newspaper to a business-wire reporter.

(RANDOLPH NODS.)

			RANDOLPH 

	Indeed. So I have made a slight change of my own. Read the revised character description.

(HE HANDS A FEW STAPLED PAGES TO BOTH PHIL AND ANITA. PHIL LOOKS AT IT AND GRIMACES.)

			PHIL 

	I see here that you have made Josie a Harvard graduate.

			RANDOLPH 

	And why not? We hadn't given her an alma mater before.

			ANITA 

	Do you think she'll now be quite as sympathetic to the audience?

(RANDOLPH SHAKES HIS HEAD.)
			RANDOLPH 

	May I remind you that Frasier Crane was a Harvard grad. Ally McBeal, too, and so was Greg of "Dharma &."

			PHIL 

	That's the point -- there are too many of them on TV!

(ANITA NODS.)

			ANITA 

	If real life was like TV, Harvard would have more students than Ohio State and UCLA combined. 

(RANDOLPH SMILES.)

			RANDOLPH 

	But there's something neither of you understand.
			PHIL 

	And what is that?

			RANDOLPH 

		(HAUGHTILY)

	We run the world. Get used to it.

			ANITA 

		(TO PHIL)

	Let's move on to new battles...

               	SCENE 10

INT. PHIL'S APARTMENT - EVENING 

(PHIL HAS JUST ABOUT COMPLETED UNPACKING. HE'S LAYING ON THE COUCH WHEN HIS CELL PHONE RINGS. HE ANSWERS.)

			PHIL 

	Uh, hello?

			PHYLLIS (O.S.)

	Hi. Are you Phil Seawright?

			PHIL 

	Yes. And you are...

			PHYLLIS (O.S.)

	Your blind date for Saturday night. Val told me all about you today, and you sound fascinating!

(PHIL SMILES.)

			PHIL 

	Thank you. What restaurant would you like to go to? Do you have any particular favorite cuisine?
			PHYLLIS (O.S.)

	Oh, I'm not picky -- as long as the restaurant's near the theater where Elvis Costello's performing.

			PHIL 

	You mean--

			PHYLLIS (O.S.)

	Yep, two tickets, front row, balcony. My treat. Val said you liked him.

			PHIL 

	And I do.

			PHYLLIS (O.S.)

	The show's at 8. Meet me at 6 in front of the theater for dinner. I'll be in a purple dress and red shoes.
			PHIL 

	As in "the angels wanna wear my--"

			PHYLLIS (O.S.)

	You catch on quickly!

			PHIL 

	It's a gift. By the way, I forgot to get your name.

			PHYLLIS (O.S.)

	Just ask for Phyllis. See you at 6 on Saturday. Bye!

(SHE HANGS UP.)

			PHIL 

		(FALLS BACK ONTO HIS COUCH.)

	I'm Phil, and she's Phyllis. That's kinda funny.

               	SCENE 11
EXT. THEATER - LATE AFTERNOON 

(PHIL ENTERS THE AREA UNDERNEATH THE THEATER MARQUEE, WHOSE SIGN READS "ELVIS COSTELLO, 8 PM." HE SEES A WOMAN OF NEARLY HIS HEIGHT AND BUILD, WEARING RED SHOES AND A PURPLE DRESS, STANDING IN FRONT OF A TICKET BOOTH.)

			PHIL 

	I'm guessing you're Phyllis.

			PHYLLIS 

	And your guess is correct. The box office will open soon, and I want to get the tickets I reserved.

			PHIL 

	I can wait.
(THE BOOTH'S BLINDS OPEN AND A TICKET SELLER IS SEEN.)

			PHYLLIS 

	Great. I have two tickets at will call.

(SLIPS CREDIT CARD INTO BOOTH)

			TICKET SELLER 

	Very good. 

(SLIPS CARD AND ENVELOPE WITH TICKETS BACK.)

			TICKET SELLER 

	Thank you, Ms. Boatwright.

(THE NAME CATCHES PHIL OFF-GUARD. HE TURNS TO PHYLLIS.)

			PHIL 

	Let me get this straight. Your name is Phyllis Boatwright, and mine is Phil Seawright. Weird.
			PHYLLIS 

	Maybe that's why Val called me. Anyway, where did you want to eat?
			PHIL 

	I think I saw a good seafood restaurant down the street...

(THEY WALK TOWARDS THE RESTAURANT AND RUN INTO MATTHEW.)

			MATTHEW 

	Phil -- you found a date!

			PHIL 

	Yep, meet Phyllis.

(SHE SMILES AT HIM.)

			PHIL 
	We're seeing Costello tonight.

			MATTHEW 

	He was awesome last night.

			PHIL 

	So Sandra told me.

			MATTHEW 

	Enjoy.

			PHYLLIS 

	I'm sure we will.

               	SCENE 12

EXT. PHIL'S APARTMENT - LATE EVENING 

(PHIL AND PHYLLIS ARE WALKING HAND IN HAND AS THEY REACH THE ENTRANCE TO HIS APARTMENT BUILDING.)

			PHIL 

	What a fabulous night.

			PHYLLIS 

	Elvis was on top of his game and I had some of the best crab I've ever eaten.

			PHIL 

	You're a sweetheart.

			PHYLLIS 

	You too.

(KISSES HIM ON THE CHEEK.)

			PHIL 

	Would you like to come in for some tea?

			PHYLLIS 

	You're not asking me to--

			PHIL 

	Spend the night? After the first date? No, no, I'm a gentleman.

			PHYLLIS 

	I knew that.

(CHECKS WATCH.)

			PHYLLIS 

	Anyway, my bus is coming down the street, with a stop right in front of your building.

			PHIL 

	Can I see you again?

(THE BUS STOPS, AND PHYLLIS BOARDS.)

			PHYLLIS 

	Well...

(THE DOOR CLOSES BEHIND HER, AND THE BUS LEAVES.)

			PHIL 

	I don't get it.

(HE WALKS TO THE APARTMENT ENTRANCE, WHERE VALERIE MAGICALLY POPS OUT OF NOWHERE.)

			PHIL 

	Guess you wanted to see how the blind date turned out. You just missed her.

			VALERIE 

	Did you two have fun?

			PHIL 

	Yeah, we did. Good food, great concert. Thanks for setting us up.

			VALERIE 

	My pleasure.

			PHIL 

	I'd like to see her again, even though it was strange that her name and mine are nearly identical.

			VALERIE 

	Sorry, but another date is not possible.

			PHIL 

	Huh?

(VALERIE SITS ON THE APARTMENT STEP AND SIGNALS FOR PHIL TO JOIN HER.)

			VALERIE 

	Phyllis is one of those "temporary personnel" Ameriwitch has created. She exists for only 72 hours.

			PHIL 
	So this time tomorrow...

			VALERIE 

	She'll have faded into the ether, for all intents and purposes.

			PHIL 

	Why did you set me up with a phantom?
			
			VALERIE 

	After that fiasco with Marjorie, it was apparent you needed somebody to lift your spirits.
			PHIL 

	Even if that somebody wasn't real.

			VALERIE 

	But see, you've got a lot to offer. You're bright, articulate, caring--

			PHIL 

		(SMILES)

	I guess I am.

			VALERIE 

	You'll find someone who's real -- and she doesn't have to be a celebrity. You know that. Okay?

			PHIL 

	Thanks.

(HUGS VALERIE.)

			VALERIE 

	As Sinatra once sang, 'scuse me while I disappear.

(SNAPS HER FINGERS)

			VALERIE 

	See you Monday morning...Winthrop!

(SHE DISAPPEARS. PHIL THEN GETS UP AND ENTERS HIS APARTMENT, NOTICEABLY MORE UPBEAT.)

               	TAG

               	SCENE 13

INT. PHIL'S OFFICE - LATE MORNING 

(PHIL IS AT HIS COMPUTER WHEN MARJORIE POKES HER HEAD IN THE DOORWAY.)

			MARJORIE 

	I've been gone a few days, so this is the first chance I've had to apologize for the other night.

			PHIL 

	It's all in the past. Don't worry about it.

			MARJORIE 

	I should never have treated you like that.

			PHIL 

	Whether you're a 25-year-old actress or a 300-year-old witch like your alter ego, you'll make mistakes.

			MARJORIE 

	We all do, I guess.

			PHIL 

	That's right.

			MARJORIE 

	I promise never to show you up like that again.

(HER CELL PHONE RINGS.)

			MARJORIE 

	Hello...what's this? Backstage passes to the awards show...courtesy of Paris Hilton? Great! See ya!

			PHIL (V.O.)

	Paris Hilton? I prefer relevant people.

(MARJORIE HANGS UP.)

			MARJORIE 

	Now what was I saying?