Under Your Spell, episode 1: “Write, You Are”

COLD OPENING 

               	SCENE 1

INT. OFFICE - LATE MORNING 

(PHIL SEAWRIGHT ENTERS THE EMPTY RECEPTION AREA OF OFFICES FOR GALLAGHER ENTERPRISES, WHOSE LOGO IS ON THE WALL DIRECTLY BEHIND VALERIE POST, THE RECEPTIONIST.)

			PHIL 

	My name's Phil Seawright, and I'm to be interviewed for the staff writer opening at "Under Her Spell."

			VALERIE 

		(EXAMINES CALENDAR)

	Yes, we've been expecting you. The interview room is down the hall, second door on the right.

			PHIL 

	Very good.

(HE BEGINS TO WALK PAST VALERIE TO THE ROOM.)

			VALERIE 

	Wait -- your appearance could be a bit better.

(SHE SNAPS HER FINGERS, AND PHIL'S HAIR IS MAGICALLY COMBED AND HIS TIE STRAIGHTENED. HE GRUDGINGLY NODS AFTER HIS MAKEOVER, RESUMING HIS WALK.)
			VALERIE 

	Now go in there and make us witches proud!

               	CUT TO:

               	MAIN TITLES

               	ACT ONE
               	SCENE 2
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - LATE MORNING 

(PHIL ENTERS A SMALL ROOM WITH A BLACKBOARD. SITTING AROUND A LARGE TABLE ARE SCOTT GALLAGHER, RANDOLPH HENDERSON, ANITA DeVESTY AND MAUREEN FOWLER.)

			PHIL 

		(TAKING HIS SEAT)

	I'm not late, am I?

			SCOTT 

	Not at all -- we've been expecting you. This is Phil Seawright. That's S-E-A-W-R-I-G-H-T, not the letter "C" and Wright.

			PHIL 

		(SMILES)

	I get that all the time.

			SCOTT 

	Phil, meet our head writer, Randolph Henderson--

			RANDOLPH 

		(PERFUNCTORILY)

	Hello, Phil.

			SCOTT 

	Our second-in-command, Anita DeVesty--

			ANITA 

		(MORE GENUINELY THAN RANDOLPH)

	Pleased to meet you.

			SCOTT 

	And the person you're up against for the opening, Maureen Fowler.
			MAUREEN 

		(LOOKS SUBTLY TOWARDS RANDOLPH)

	Hi.

			PHIL 

	And hello to everybody.

			SCOTT 

	Now Phil, Maureen, I liked the spec scripts you sent me. Each of you apparently has a skill for comedic writing. We'll need that here as we plan "Under Her Spell."

			RANDOLPH 

	Writing for a sitcom isn't easy. You need a good education, something I see here from the resume that Maureen has. Harvard degree, edited the Lampoon...

(WINKS AT MAUREEN, THOUGH NO ONE ELSE CATCHES IT.)

			PHIL 

	So she went to Harvard, and I went to Temple. Big deal.

			ANITA 

	I agree. You need more than raw smarts -- good writing requires good characterization.

			SCOTT 

	Definitely. Anyway, to bring you two up to speed, "Under Her Spell" is about a young professional woman named Josie who also happens to be a witch. Sort of Mary Richards with magic.
			ANITA 

	Like that short-lived "Bewitched" spinoff "Tabitha."

			PHIL 

	Or "Sabrina" in its final year. That show simply wasn't the same without the aunts.

			SCOTT 

	Whatever, we're going to do it better. Now, our show's lead is Marjorie Garwood. It's her first TV series after starring in so many thriller movies, and she's very excited about it.

			ANITA 

	So excited she might give up partying to actually act?

			RANDOLPH 

	Hey, that's not nice.

			SCOTT 

	Marjorie will be dropping by tomorrow. What we're going to do today is have each of you take a two-part exam. The first is our standard writing, grammar and editing test.

			RANDOLPH 

	It's amazing these days how many writers can't spell or write accurately.

			SCOTT 

	The second part will be more subjective. I'm giving each of you a copy of the "Under Her Spell" treatment, as well as a first-season story arc. We want your comments, constructive criticism, and most of all your thoughts on how to make this series better.

(HE HANDS THEM COPIES OF BOTH PARTS OF THE TEST.)

			PHIL 

	A good idea to me.

			MAUREEN 

	And me too.

			SCOTT 

	Fine. Maureen, follow us to the room across the hall. Phil, you stay here. Each of you will have two hours to work on this; the restrooms are down the hall, away from the reception area. Good luck to both of you, and both please be here at 11 tomorrow when I announce my decision.
			
			PHIL 

	Thank you.

(THE DOOR CLOSES, AND PHIL BEGINS LOOKING OVER THE EXAM. A FEW SECONDS LATER, HIS SISTER, SANDRA SEAWRIGHT, MAGICALLY POPS INTO THE ROOM.)

			SANDRA 

	Hey, brother, need help?

			PHIL 

		(SLIGHTLY ANNOYED)

	Sandra!
			SANDRA 

	Philip Winthrop Seawright, I'm just trying to help with your test. You know that witches make the best copy editors.

		(PAUSES)

	Like me.

			PHIL 

	It's appreciated, but I can take care of this, thank you. And don't you have to be at your newspaper?

			SANDRA 

		(SMILES)

	Not till three.

			PHIL 

	Remember, in my last lifetime, as Joseph Davis, I spent plenty of time writing scripts...

               	DISSOLVE TO:

(A WRITERS' ROOM IN A 1930'S HOLLYWOOD STUDIO. JOSEPH DAVIS, WHO LOOKS SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT THAN PHIL, SITS AT HIS MANUAL TYPEWRITER AND RUBS HIS HANDS WITH GLEE.)

			JOSEPH 

	...done at last! World, prepare for yet another William Powell-Myrna Loy pairing. And laugh.

               	DISSOLVE TO:

(PHIL AND SANDRA IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM.)

			SANDRA 

	But TV's not the movies, as you found out in the sixties. You had to retire, and eventually, in January 1980...the car accident.

			PHIL 

	Gee, thanks for reminding me how my sixth lifetime ended -- what a boost to my confidence! I've learned a lot more about TV writing in this lifetime.

			SANDRA 

		(NODS)

	And if it doesn't work out now, you'll have 18 more lifetimes to go.

(PAUSES)
			SANDRA 

	I'm really sorry I said that.

(BENDS DOWN TO GIVE THE SEATED PHIL A PECK ON THE CHEEK.)

			PHIL 

	No offense taken.

			SANDRA 

	Anyway, ace that test and get that job. Good luck, and keep my apartment clean till I get back from work!

(SHE MAGICALLY DISAPPEARS)

			PHIL 

		(SHAKING HIS HEAD)

	I love my sister, but every now and then...

               	SCENE 3

INT. HALLWAY - EARLY AFTERNOON 

(MAUREEN, THROUGH WITH HER TEST, HANDS IT TO RANDOLPH.)

			MAUREEN 

	Well, here it is. Hope I did well. Some of it was difficult.

(VALERIE PASSES BY AT THE OTHER END OF THE HALL AND NOTICES THE PAIR. SHE STOPS TO WATCH; THEY DON'T NOTICE HER.)

			RANDOLPH 

		(SMILES)

	Don't worry, hon. You've got the big "H" on your side. Well, actually two -- Harvard and Henderson. Ever since I was a senior and you a freshman...

(VALERIE PERKS UP UPON HEARING THAT AND MOVES OUT OF THEIR SIGHT, STANDING NEAR A WALL TO OVERHEAR THEM.)

			RANDOLPH 

	I think we can sneak in a kiss, okay? The coast is clear.

			MAUREEN 

	Be discreet.

(THEY KISS BRIEFLY.)

			MAUREEN 

	So Mr. Gallagher doesn't know I'm your girlfriend?

			RANDOLPH 

		(SMIRKS)

	Never mentioned it -- and since I'm grading these tests here tonight, you can be sure you're in. I mean, look at your competition --

(HOLDS UP TESTS OF BOTH MAUREEN AND PHIL.)

			RANDOLPH 

	he went to a state school. Oh, and his dad sells cars, in Philadelphia!

(SMIRKS)

			MAUREEN 

	Not exactly Scarsdale or Beverly Hills, eh?

(VALERIE HEARS THAT AND SEETHES.)

               	SCENE 4

EXT. NEWSPAPER OFFICE - MID-AFTERNOON 

(SANDRA SEAWRIGHT PREPARES TO USE HER KEYCARD TO ENTER THE OFFICES OF THE SANTA MONICA TELEGRAM AND START WORK, WHEN SHE NOTICES SOMETHING SITTING ATOP THE DOOR HANDLE. IT'S A TINY VERSION OF VALERIE POST.)

			SANDRA 

		(WHISPERING)

	I know you're a witch, but what are you doing here?

			VALERIE 

	I'm Valerie Post, and I work over at the show where your brother Phil applied today. He's in danger of being cheated out of his job by some Harvard hotshot who's apparently less qualified.

			SANDRA 

	Let's discuss this inside.

(SHE PICKS VALERIE UP AND ENTERS THE BUILDING.)

INT. WOMEN'S RESTROOM - MID-AFTERNOON 

(SANDRA ENTERS, FINDS SHE'S ALONE AND OPENS HER PALM. VALERIE LEAPS OFF, SNAPPING HER FINGERS, AND INSTANTLY GROWS TO FULL SIZE.)

			VALERIE 

	Good. You didn't clench too hard.

			SANDRA 

	So Phil might not get this job?

			VALERIE 

		(SHAKES HEAD)

	Through no fault of his own, either. The head writer is secretly dating the other candidate.

			SANDRA 

	Unfair!
			VALERIE 

	And if Phil isn't hired, won't Ameriwitch be ticked off when I pop into Des Moines for our next meeting.

			SANDRA 

	You work for Ameriwish, the children's charity?

			VALERIE 

	No, Ameri-WITCH. That Ameri-WISH is simply a front, although we do raise plenty of money to help sick kids. Anyway, I report to Ameriwitch on how witches are being portrayed in Hollywood. We need Phil in that job to help our image. We can't have a non-witch beat him out!

			SANDRA 

		(CONFUSED)

	Then why are you talking to me about this? Phil's back in my apartment.

			VALERIE 

	I don't want to tell him about this. He apparently has a great deal of pride, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

			SANDRA 

	That's him in a nutshell. Nice, but naive. So you want me to help?

			VALERIE 

	If you can. I realize you have work commitments.

			SANDRA 

	I can only use the 30 minutes of my dinner break -- we have a large paper tonight.

			VALERIE 

	That'll be sufficient. I'll let you know when. Talk to you later!

(SHE SNAPS HER FINGERS AND MAGICALLY DISAPPEARS.)

               	SCENE 5

INT. SANDRA'S APARTMENT - EARLY EVENING 

(PHIL IS SITTING AT A KITCHEN TABLE, EATING DINNER AND READING A TRADE PAPER.)

			PHIL 

	I think my parents would like to know how I'm doing.

(HE GETS UP AND WALKS TOWARDS SANDRA'S WALL PHONE.)

			PHIL 

(LOOKS AT THE PHONE)

			PHIL 

	Nah, she'll complain I inflated her phone bill. So...

(HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS AND MAGICALLY DISAPPEARS.)

INT. SEAWRIGHT LIVING ROOM, 
PHILADELPHIA - EVENING 

(PHIL MATERIALIZES IN THE LIVING ROOM WHILE HIS MOTHER, ELOISE, IS KNITTING, AND FATHER MITCHELL IS WATCHING A BALLGAME ON TV.)

			MITCHELL 

	Out of the way -- the Phillies have a rally going. Two on with none out, 5-5, bottom fourth.

			PHIL 

	Sorry, dad.

(HE GETS OUT OF THE LINE OF VISION.)

			ELOISE 

	Thanks for dropping by -- what a good son! How'd the interview go?

			PHIL 

	They had me take a test. I think my chances are pretty good.

			ELOISE 

	Pretty good? You were one of the best comedy screenwriters in Hollywood history.

			PHIL 

	Last lifetime. That doesn't mean anything now.

			MITCHELL 

	If it doesn't work out, you can always come back to Seawright Chevrolet and help run the service department again.

(CLAPS HANDS)

			MITCHELL 

	A gapper to left center by Utley -- two runs are gonna score. Phillies lead, 7-5!

			PHIL 

	Go Phils!

(PAUSES)

			PHIL 

	Dad, you run a wonderful, low-pressure place, but writing is what I want to do. It's in my blood.

			MITCHELL 

	As well you should. I'm simply giving you something to fall back on. And remember, someday you and Sandra will inherit the dealership.

			ELOISE 

	That's a long way off, Mitchell.

			PHIL 

	And I feel that way too, Mom.

(GOES OVER TO ELOISE AND KISSES HER.)

			PHIL 

	You've each got plenty of lifetimes left, and I want to keep sharing this one with both of you.

			ELOISE 

	You're so thoughtful.

			PHIL 

	Anyway, I better be popping back to California to do my share of cleaning Sandra's apartment. She's doing fine, by the way.

			MITCHELL 

	By the way, when are you getting your own place?

			PHIL 

		(SMILES)
	Let me get the job first! See you folks soon.

(PREPARES TO SNAP FINGERS AND DISAPPEAR.)

			MITCHELL 

	Oh, and when you can, say hi to my old buddy Bob Gordon over at the Hollywood newsstand.

(PHIL WAVES GOODBYE AS HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS AND MAGICALLY DISAPPEARS.)

			ELOISE 

	At times, I pity non-witches. Their children need several hours to travel 3,000 miles.

               	SCENE 6

INT. RANDOLPH'S OFFICE - EVENING 

(RANDOLPH HENDERSON SITS DOWN AT HIS DESK, TEST PAPERS IN HAND. HE BEGINS LOOKING THEM OVER.)

			RANDOLPH 

	Hmmm, let's start...

(TINY VERSIONS OF SANDRA AND VALERIE MAGICALLY POP ONTO THE TOP OF A NEARBY BOOKCASE.)

			VALERIE 

	Look, there he is, that--

			SANDRA 

	I take it you don't like him.

			VALERIE 

	Gee, what gave you that impression? Anyway, we need to see those papers he's purportedly grading. Make copies.

(SANDRA SNAPS HER FINGERS, AND TWO FULL-SIZED PAPERS, EACH DWARFING THE SHRUNKEN WOMEN, APPEAR ON THE TOP OF THE BOOKCASE.)
			
			SANDRA 

	I forgot to use the scale mode. Sorry.

(SHE SNAPS AGAIN, AND THE PAPERS INSTANTLY REDUCE TO THEIR SCALE. SANDRA PICKS ONE UP, VALERIE THE OTHER.)

			VALERIE 

	You're the copy editor here. Do some quick grading, and no nepotism.
(SANDRA LOOKS THEM OVER, THEN SNAPS. THE SCORES ARE SHOWN: PHIL SCORED A 99, MAUREEN A 91.)

			SANDRA 

	I can't believe Phil misspelled "exhilarating." Let's see how he's grading things down there...

(SHE TURNS TO SEE RANDOLPH MARKING THE PAPERS.)

			VALERIE 

	His scores?

(SHE SNAPS HER FINGERS, AND ON THEIR COPIES OF THE PAPERS, PHIL'S SCORE IS CHANGED FROM 99 TO 93, VALERIE'S FROM 91 TO 96.)

			SANDRA 

		(ENRAGED)

	How dare he!

(SHE PREPARES TO SNAP HER FINGERS.)

			VALERIE 

		(INTERJECTS)

	No, no, no! Turning him into another species won't solve things -- though I've wanted to do it many a time. Come on, we're better than that.

			SANDRA 

	So I should...

			VALERIE 

	Wait till he leaves. I think he's getting ready to go.

(RANDOLPH ARISES FROM HIS SEAT AND WALKS TO THE DOOR.)

			RANDOLPH 

	Maureen Fowler, welcome to "Under Her Spell."

(HE SHUTS OFF THE LIGHT, PLUNGING SANDRA AND VALERIE INTO DARKNESS. AS SOON AS THE DOOR SHUTS, SNAPS ARE HEARD AND TWO ARE AGAIN SEEN, GLOWING IN THE DARK.)

			VALERIE 

	Not so fast, Randolph Henderson.

(SHE SNAPS, AND THE FULL-SIZED PAPERS BECOME LUMINOUS ON THE DESK.)

			SANDRA 

	My turn.

(SHE SNAPS, AND THE TEST SCORES MAGICALLY REVERT TO HER EARLIER, ACCURATE NUMBERS. THE WOMEN HIGH-FIVE EACH OTHER.)

			VALERIE 

	And just to prevent him from altering them again--

(SHE SNAPS, AND THE PAPERS DE-GLOW, THEN DISAPPEAR.)

			VALERIE 

	They are now on Scott Gallagher's desk.

(SANDRA LOOKS AT HER WATCH.)

			SANDRA 

	I need to get back to the copy desk.

			VALERIE 

	Thanks for your help. Oh, and don't forget to both grow and de-glow yourself!

			SANDRA 

	I will in transit.

(SHE SNAPS HER FINGERS AND MAGICALLY DISAPPEARS.)

               	SCENE 7

INT. HALLWAY - LATE MORNING 
(SCOTT GALLAGHER AND MARJORIE GARWOOD ARE WALKING DOWN A HALL.)

			SCOTT 

	Now remember, don't let on that your dad is funding most of this. It'll look like a vanity production and ruin our credibility in selling the show to a network.

			MARJORIE 

	Believe me, I know.

(RUBS HANDS OVER HER EYES.)

			MARJORIE 

	Geez, what a night I had.

			SCOTT 

	Once we start production, you'll have to cut back on the partying. No way around that.

			MARJORIE 

		(PERTURBED)

	I am aware.

			SCOTT 

	Just a reminder.

(THEY ENTER THE CONFERENCE ROOM, WHERE PHIL, MAUREEN, ANITA AND RANDOLPH ARE ALREADY SEATED, AND VALERIE IS STANDING AGAINST A WALL.)

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - LATE MORNING 

			VALERIE 

		(TO SCOTT)

	I'll only be here a minute. I just wanted to learn the big news.

(SCOTT NODS)

			SCOTT 
	Hello, everyone. I'd like our candidates to meet our star, Marjorie Garwood.

			PHIL 

	Good morning.

			MAUREEN 

	Hello.

			SCOTT 

	Marjorie, I'd like to introduce you to Maureen Fowler--

(MAUREEN SMILES)

			SCOTT 

	--and to Phil Seawright.

(PHIL WAVES HIS HAND)

			SCOTT 

	Let me say at the start that this decision wasn't an easy one, and the person we don't hire will certainly receive full consideration for any freelance scripts they send our way.

(RANDOLPH LOOKS AT PHIL WITH A SLIGHT SMIRK, THOUGH PHIL'S ATTENTION IS ON SCOTT.)
			MARJORIE 

	So who's being hired?

			SCOTT 

	My choice is...

(PHIL, MAUREEN, RANDOLPH AND VALERIE ALL STARE AT HIM.)

			SCOTT 

	...Phil Seawright. Welcome aboard, Phil.

(PHIL GETS UP TO SHAKE SCOTT'S HAND, WHILE VALERIE BEAMS IN THE BACKGROUND. RANDOLPH HAS AN INCREDULOUS LOOK, AND MAUREEN GIVES HIM ONE RIGHT BACK.)
			ANITA 

	Any particular reason, Scott?

			SCOTT 

	Well, both had very good, if not perfect, scores on the writing part of the test.

(VALERIE SMILES IN SELF-SATISFACTION.)

			SCOTT 

	But I was frankly far more interested in the other part of the test,

(VALERIE'S SMILE GRADUALLY FADES.)

			SCOTT 

	and Phil had some interesting ideas concerning the treatment -- and, more importantly, a few good suggestions for the story arc. I'll probably use a few of them.

(PHIL SMILES.)

			ANITA 

	Welcome aboard, Phil.

			RANDOLPH 

		(WITH DISTINCTLY LESS ENTHUSIASM)

	Yes, welcome aboard.

			MARJORIE 

	Write me some good lines, Phil.

			PHIL 

	It's what I'll be paid for.

			SCOTT 

	That reminds me -- come into my office, sign a contract, and we'll be all set. Maureen, thank you for your participation, and with your skills, I'm sure you're going to have a fine writing career.
(RANDOLPH NODS, TRYING TO CHEER MAUREEN UP. SHE SEMI-SMILES.)

			SCOTT 

	That's it, everybody. Val, get back to the desk.

			VALERIE 

	Yes, sir.

(SHE DISCREETLY GIVES THE THUMBS-UP SIGN TO PHIL AS EVERYONE RISES FROM THEIR SEAT.)

			RANDOLPH 

		(WHISPERS TO MAUREEN)

	If you run into anybody from the Lampoon, don't tell them you were beaten out for this -- just say you decided to pursue other interests.

			MAUREEN 

		(BRISTLES)

	And you said this was a lead-pipe cinch.

(PHIL OVERHEARS THEM.)

			PHIL 

		(TO HIMSELF)

	Listen -- nothing is, in this business.

               	TAG

               	SCENE 8

EXT. RESTAURANT ENTRANCE - EARLY EVENING 

(VALERIE STANDS OUTSIDE, WAITING, WHEN PHIL AND SANDRA SHOW UP.)

			VALERIE 

	Where were you guys?

			SANDRA 

	Finding a place to park in the heart of Hollywood isn't easy, even when you have magic. 

			PHIL 

	I thought the traffic was bad here in the seventies, but this is worse. Val, thanks for treating me to this dinner, just like Anita treated me to lunch today at work.

			VALERIE 

	Ameriwitch is thrilled you won the job.

			PHIL 

	It's funny when you think about it -- me, an actual witch, writing for a series about one.

			SANDRA 

	And Val, thanks for doing this on a night when I'm off, so I can celebrate with baby brother.

(KISSES HIM ON THE CHEEK)

			VALERIE 
	
	My pleasure. Let's go inside.

(SHE AND SANDRA GO IN, BUT PHIL STAYS BEHIND AND LOOKS BACK AT HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD. FOR A SECOND, WE SEE A BLACK-AND-WHITE, 1930'S VERSION OF THE SAME STREET THROUGH HIS MIND'S EYE, NOT MAGIC. HE SMILES.)

			PHIL 

		(TO HIMSELF)

	Hey, Hollywood, it's great to be back.

(HE WALKS INSIDE.)