THE RIGHT GUY

WRITTEN BY
CRAIG SINGLETON

EXT/INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

Outside the restaurant people are walking past the window. 

KATIE(NARRATION):
Every women is looking for him, although some don’t admit it. Even men are looking for him. Someone to lift you off your feet, pull out your chair or actually look at you when you talk to him. I want a guy to do all of these little things that some men find so difficult.

Inside, the restaurant is full of couples and families dining. Katie is sat on her date at a table for two with Bradley. Katie has long dark hair, natural look wearing a dress. Bradley has dark spikey hair and is needing a shave. He is wearing a smart suit without a tie, top button undone.

KATIE(NARRATION):
Something tells me Bradley is not the right guy.

Katie and Bradley have finished their meals.

KATIE(28):
So Bradley I…

Bradley pulls out his phone.

BRADLEY(30):
Hold whatever you was goin to say.

Bradley dials a number on his phone and puts it to his ear. He looks at Katie.

BRADLEY:
And how many times, it’s Brad. Do you think Brad Pitt lets people call him Bradley? He’d chop off their foot. Keep it as a mantle.

KATIE:
Brad…

BRADLEY:
Ahh du du du. 

Bradley starts to speak on the phone.

BRADLEY:
Davey boy! How’d we do? Come on ask me a hard question next time. We butt fucked the shit out of those guys. We came out from under them like flying monkeys at the zoo. Yeah.

Katie looks a little embarrassed at how Bradley is speaking.

BRADLEY:
Yeah you should have been there. Being in a car accident was kind of a lame excuse my friend. So we sealed the deal, sweet deal and guess who could be made partner now?

Bradley points to himself.

BRADLEY:
This guy. Well I do deserve it. Workin half an hour extra each day is the dedication my… our company needs. Well okay Davey boy yeah. Speak to ya later. Keep the arms and leg elevated.

Bradley hangs up his phone and looks at Katie.

BRADLEY:
Im back.

KATIE:
Good cause I…

BRADLEY:
I gotta take a piss.

Bradley stands up.

BRADLEY:
Real bad.

He walks away from the table grabbing his crotch. Katie looks at him disappointed.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

Katie is sat at the table. Bradley walks back over and sits down.

BRADLEY:
I could have filled a bucket with that one. You want something to drink?
KATIE:
Yeah I’ll have another glass later.

BRADLEY:
You did you want to tell me something?

KATIE:
Yes I…

BRADLEY:
Go on.

KATIE:
So…

BRADLEY:
Im listening.

Katie pauses.

KATIE:
So we’ve been going out now for, a week and I think it’s going well don’t you?

BRADLEY:
Yeah I need some space. With work being as it is at the moment it’s not a good time for me.

KATIE:
But you’ve just made a major deal. You can rest now.

BRADLEY:
Rest? What’s rest? Im a go go, go guy. There’s no rest in the sports business. It’s go, go, go non-stop everyday. Well except Tuesday and Sundays.

KATIE:
So? When we be a good time for you then?

BRADLEY:
Well I am free on Saturday between the hours of eight and twelve in the evening.

KATIE:
Really?

BRADLEY:
Oh yeah. I’d give up that spot for you sweetness.

Katie sits there annoyed shaking her head. A young, pretty waitress walks over to Katie and Bradley’s table. She approaches them smiling holding a note pad with a pen.

WAITRESS(22):
Can I get you guys anymore to drink?

Bradley turns to her smiling.

BRADLEY:
Yeah can we get a bottle of the Château Margaux with two glasses beautiful.

The waitress stops smiling writing on her notepad. 

WAITRESS:
Okay.

The waitress looks up at Katie.

KATIE:
Can I have the dessert menu please?

WAITRESS:
Sure.

Bradley looks at Katie.

BRADLEY:
Oh I don’t know if that’s a good idea.

Katie looks at Bradley confused.

BRADLEY:
I mean you did have a big meal. You don’t wanna let yourself go do you?

Katie sits back offended. The waitress stands there uncomfortable.

WAITRESS:
I’ll be back with your wine.

The waitress walks away. 

BRADLEY:
Thank you. Only the best for…

Bradley clicks his fingers in confusion.
KATIE:
Katie.

BRADLEY:
Katie. Of course.

KATIE(NARRATION):
Bradley is definitely not the right guy.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

The waitress comes back with the bottle of wine in a bucket of ice. She puts the bucket onto the table and picks up the bottle. Two empty glasses are already on the table infront of Katie and Bradley.

KATIE:
Oh no that’s okay. I’ll pour it.

The waitress puts the bottle down into the bucket and smiles at Katie.

WAITRESS:
Okay.

She walks away. Katie slips a small tablet in her hand. She picks up the bottle smiling at Bradley. He looks at her signalizing a kiss.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - LATER

Bradley is sat on the toilet in the mens room. He is flustered, hot and in discomfort.

BRADLEY:
Oh my god. 

The sound of his faeces extracting from him into the toilet bowl is heard.

BRADLEY:
Jesus what the fuck was in that chicken?

Katie is standing outside the mens room laughing to herself. A man approaches the bathroom.
KATIE:
Excuse my, boyfriend has been in there for quite a while now. Could you see if he’s okay?

MAN(35):
Yeah sure. What’s his name?

KATIE:
What is his name? Oh yeah, it’s Bradley.

MAN:
Okay.

The man opens the bathroom door and steps in.

MAN:
Bradley? 

BRADLEY:
Sweet mother!

MAN:
Bradley?!

BRADLEY:
Mary, Joseph.

MAN:
You okay in there Bradley?!

BRADLEY:
It’s Brad okay! It’s more masculine.

The man steps back to Katie.

MAN:
I don’t think he’s doin too good. It smells really bad in there. I mean like, woh.

Katie cheekily smiles at the man.

KATIE:
Oh that’s good.

The man smiles at Katie.

MAN:
You’re evil, aint cha?

Katie walks away happy.

CUT TO:

OPENING CREDITS: GIVE A LITTLE BY HANSON

INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Annie walks over to the door to her apartment. Annie has short hair in a bob, a lot of make up on, wearing a tight vest and pyjama bottoms. She opens the door. Katie is standing there. Annie smiles at her.

ANNIE:
I’ll take the ice cream out.

Katie walks into Annie’s apartment smiling.

CUT TO:

INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT - LATER

Katie and Annie are sat on the couch in the living area. They are watching a movie on the T.V. with a pint tub of ice cream each and a glass of wine each.

KATIE(NARRATION):
My best friend is Annie. She understands completely how I feel and I love her to death. I always wished she was male.
After a bad date we always meet up for our BDR and talk about how crappy men can be. This happens a lot. 

Annie looks at Katie.

ANNIE:
So how’d it go?

KATIE:
It didn’t, but his bowels did.

Annie laughs at Katie. Katie sits up and looks at Annie.

KATIE:
I used extra strength ones this time.

ANNIE:
You’re going to destroy men’s stomach linings with all the laxatives you give them.

KATIE:
I only give it to the ones who are complete jerks. And Bradley was. Or Brad as he calls himself. Im always getting the short straw when it comes to men.

ANNIE:
Well it’s your own fault for getting emotionally attached. Like I always say, if your cat dies, get a new one. Stop letting men walk all over you and start walking over them.

KATIE:
I don’t know how to do it. You’re so good at it. 

ANNIE:
Well I’ll show you then. So where did you leave him then?

KATIE:
Hopefully he’s still in the bathroom.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

Bradley is still in the cubicle in the bathroom looking at the toilet roll holder. The roll is empty.

BRADLEY:
Ahh shit.

Bradley knocks on the next cubicle.

BRADLEY:
Hey, next door. Give me some toilet paper.

CUT TO:

INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Annie and Katie are sat on the couch laughing trying to eat their ice cream. A little ice cream drips from Katie’s spoon onto the top of her dress. She looks down and wipes it off.

ANNIE:
So you now you’re aim with men is to…

Katie looks up at Annie.

KATIE:
(Deepens her voice)Seek and destroy.
ANNIE:
Looks like Brad’s not going to work tomorrow.

KATIE:
It doesn’t matter as it’s Tuesday. How’s it going with you?

ANNIE:
Yeah it’s goin good with Alex… and Mike.

KATIE:
What?

ANNIE:
I know.

KATIE:
Two guys? You little whore bag. How do you do it?

ANNIE:
It’s easier than you think you know.

KATIE:
How?

ANNIE:
One works days. The other, nights. My day can get pretty busy let me tell ya.

KATIE:
I could never get away with that.

ANNIE:
Would you want to?

KATIE:
No I’d feel so guilty.

ANNIE:
You’ve got a heart as big as the moon Katie. I wish you could find someone who has the same.

KATIE:
Me too.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - MORNING

Katie is getting ready for work. She is wearing a smart 
fitted shirt and a skirt. She is in the kitchen rushing around.

KATIE(NARRATION):
I used to believe that if work hard you’ll be rewarded. I’ve been working hard for ten years… I haven’t gotten shit. Not a raise, nothing. But it doesn’t stop me.

Katie quickly slips on her shoes and walks over to the fridge. She opens the door and gets out a big bottle of milk. She opens the cap and pours into a glass that is near the sink. She puts the bottle down and gulps her glass empty. Her phone rings. She puts down the glass.

KATIE:
Im coming.

She rushes over to the couch in her living room and picks up her phone. She answers.

KATIE:
Hello?

ANNIE:
Hey babe.

KATIE:
Hey.

ANNIE:
I’ll come get you at one okay.

KATIE:
Yeah sure. I’ll see you later.

ANNIE:
Over sleep?

KATIE:
I gotta stop pressing snooze.

ANNIE:
I’ll leave you to it.

KATIE:
Thank you.
ANNIE:
Laters.

KATIE:
Bye.

Katie hangs up her phone, puts the phone down and rushes back over to the kitchen counter. She puts the cap back onto the bottle of milk.

KATIE:
Okay cap on.

She grabs hold of the bottle and walks over to the fridge. The bottle slips out of her hand. The bottle falls onto the floor and the milk spills. Katie looks at the floor.

KATIE:
Come on?! You’re gonna make me late milk!

Katie grabs the roll of kitchen paper off the counter and puts some down onto the floor, crouching where the milk has spilled.

KATIE:
Oh screw it. You’re going to have to stay there milk.

She stands back up and puts the roll back onto the counter.

KATIE:
Mann that’s gonna stink when I get back. 

Katie picks up her keys off the counter. She walks over to her door. Her folder bag is propped up near the door. She bends down and picks it up. She puts it over her shoulder and opens her door. She walks out and closes the door.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S WORK - MORNING

Katie walks onto the floor shiftily. She creeps towards her desk trying not to be noticed. Her next is near the end of the floor. She reaches her desk and quietly sits down. Katie’s work friend Pippa who is at the desk next to her looks over at Katie concerned. Katie takes her bag off of her shoulder. She breathes a sigh of relief.

PIPPA:
Hey.

Katie looks over at Pippa.

PIPPA:
I thought you wasn’t going to come in today?

KATIE:
I got caught up at home.

Katie’s boss, Robert walks onto the floor and walks down towards them. Katie turns around and sees him. 

KATIE:
Oh shit.

She turns back and grabs her work folders out of her bag. Pippa picks up her phone and pretends to be speaking on it. Katie pulls some papers on her desk. Robert approaches Katie’s desk.

PIPPA:
Yes thank you for calling.

Katie pretends to be reading her papers. Robert glares at her.

ROBERT(42):
Just got in?

Katie turns to him and smiles.

KATIE:
Oh Robert hi. No I started half an hour ago. I working like a horse.

ROBERT:
Katie look at me. How many eyes to you see?

Katie carefully looks at Robert’s eyes.

KATIE:
Two. Very beautiful blue eyes.

ROBERT:
Wrong. I have many eyes Katie especially in the back of my head. You just can’t see them.

KATIE:
But the security cameras are in plain sight.

Katie, Robert and Pippa look up at a CCTV camera that is hanging above the ceiling. Robert looks down at Katie.

ROBERT:
You are twenty one minutes late for work today Katie. You know what that means? 

KATIE:
I…

ROBERT:
I’ll tell you. It means you can stay an extra twenty two minutes after work, can’t you?

KATIE:
But I thought you said I was twenty one minutes late?

ROBERT:
Yeah one for good luck. I want the next article done at the end of the day. Remember it’s when celebrities get fat. They always make me feel good.

KATIE:
Yes Robbie.

ROBERT:
Robert, sir.

Robert turns to Pippa who was looking at him. She looks away still holding her phone to her ear.

PIPPA:
Yes miss Aniston thank you. I’ll speak to you soon. 

She puts her phone down and looks at Robert smiling. Robert turns away and walks back up the floor. Katie leans back in her chair.

PIPPA:
You okay?

Katie turns to her.

PIPPA:
Hey how was you date with Bradley?

KATIE:
My date with Bradley, ended badly.

Pippa laughs loudly. The colleagues at the desks near them look at her. Pippa notices and looks around at them. She stops laughing.

PIPPA:
Sorry.

KATIE:
He is a jackass.

PIPPA:
Ahh well there’s more guys out there for you. Another prince charming awaits for your loving kiss.

KATIE:
Yeah?

PIPPA:
Of course. 

KATIE:
You already got yours.

Katie looks at the picture of Pippa’s boyfriend that is on Pippa desk. Pippa picks it up. He is a tall, muscular man in his late 20s with dark brown hair.

PIPPA:
I know.

She kisses the picture.

PIPPA:
I could just eat him. Pour some tomato sauce on him and munch.

Katie smiles at Pippa. Pippa puts down the picture and turns to Katie.

PIPPA:
Hey why don’t you try a blind date?

KATIE:
I would but I’d prefer them to see.

Pippa laughs loudly again. Robert is stood at the end of the floor with another colleague looking at Pippa.

ROBERT
Pippa!!

Pippa stops laughing.

PIPPA:
I really need to tone down my laugh.

KATIE:
No you don’t. 

Katie turns around to the other colleagues.

KATIE:
It livens this place up. 

Katie turns back around and organises some of her papers.

KATIE:
Maybe we should get started.

She gets a pen out of her bag and rests it on her palm.

KATIE:
Fat celebrities. I can’t think of any. It’s like most of them refuse to eat.

Pippa turns to her excited.

PIPPA:
Oo.

Pippa shakes her head then looks away unexcited.

PIPPA:
No she lost it. Why don’t you just do pregnant celebrities instead. They look fat.

KATIE:
Yeah but once they pop out the sprog they’re back to bordering on anorexic again. What column has Hitler gotten you on?

PIPPA:
The life of Beyonce. 

KATIE:
Oh I would love that. What a butt she has. Crack a bag of chestnuts on that thing. So hot you could fry an egg.

PIPPA:
And sausages. They go well together.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S WORK - AFTER NOON

Katie is sitting at her desk on her computer. She smiles at the screen and turns to Pippa. 

KATIE:
Hey, Pip. Look at this.

Pippa stands up and walks over to Katie’s desk. Annie walks onto the floor. Pippa looks at the screen. It is an edited picture of Jennifer Lopez. It is a side view of her body. Her bum has been enlarged to twice it’s size. Pippa smiles at the picture.

KATIE:
Looks like Jennifer couldn’t resist all the Easter eggs.

PIPPA:
Oh my god. It was big enough already.

KATIE:
J lo is now jello.

Annie approaches Katie’s desk. 

ANNIE:
Hey.

Pippa turns to Annie smiling. Katie turns to Annie. Pippa sits back at her desk. 

KATIE:
Hey babe.

Annie looks at the screen.

ANNIE:
Wow. She got soo fat.

KATIE:
Na just messin around. I have to do a column on celebrities with weight problems. Can you think of any?

ANNIE:
Lets see. Erm Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, Rosie O’Donell, K-Fed, Mike Tyson, Kevin Smith, Steven Stegal, Val Kilmer, Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera…

KATIE:
Okay Annie that might do it.

Annie looks over at Pippa.

ANNIE:
Hey English Rose. How’s it going today?

Pippa is typing on her computer not looking at Annie.

PIPPA:
Fine thank you.

ANNIE:
Fancy coming with us for lunch? I’ll get you a cuppa. A cuppa tea and a queen Victoria sponge from a greasy spoon.

PIPPA:
No thank you. Bryan will be coming for me.

ANNIE:
Yeah? Share some crumpets.

Pippa concentrates on her computer screen. 

KATIE:
Stop it.

Katie stands up grabbing her bag.

KATIE:
Okay Pippa I’ll see you in an hour.

Pippa looks at Katie and smiles.

ANNIE:
Bye Pippy.

Pippa looks back at her computer screen. Katie and Annie walk away up the floor. Pippa’s boyfriend Bryan walks down 
the floor. He passes Katie and Annie smiling at Katie.

KATIE:
Hi Bryan.

BRYAN(32):
Katie.

Annie turns around to Bryan watching him walk down the floor.

ANNIE:
That’s Pippa’s boyfriend? How did she bag that hunk?

PIPPA:
Pippa’s a sweet girl. She could get anybody.

ANNIE:
Yeah, but he’s a dream cake.

KATIE:
Get this he’s a fireman.

ANNIE:
Oh no fuckin fair. That’s it im setting fire to my apartment so he can put it out.

KATIE:
Come on.

Katie pulls Annie’s arm and they continue walking.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - EARLY MORNING

Katie and Annie are jogging together in the park. They are wearing fitted t-shirts and jogging pants, holding a bottle of water each.

KATIE(NARRATION):
Keeping fit is important to me and makes me feel better about myself. Also it helps burn off all the ice cream me and Annie go through. Almost everyday we come to central park before work to run and chat… about men.

Katie and Annie stop jogging near a bench. They are trying to get their breath back. They walk over and sit on the bench. They take a drink of their waters.
ANNIE:
I cannot be shitting bothered with work today.

KATIE:
Don’t be so lazy.

ANNIE:
We gotta stop running so far before work.

KATIE:
It makes us more alert.

ANNIE:
It makes me tired. Struggle staying away as it is. I went into the changing room for a nap the other day.

KATIE:
What?

ANNIE:
Seriously. I felt so much better until this fat whale came in and started undressing.

Katie and Annie laugh.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - LATER

Katie and Annie are still sat on the bench. They are hot and sweaty. Their heart rates have slowed down and there breathing is normal.

ANNIE:
Hey guess where we’re going tonight?

KATIE:
Where?

ANNIE:
Clubbing with the best party planner in the city.

KATIE:
Really? You spoke to Bethany?

ANNIE:
Yeah she called me late last night? She’s working with a few clubs. She said to meet her in Element.

KATIE:
Great. It’s been a few months since I’ve seen her.

ANNIE:
So boys, boys, boys tonight Katie girl.

KATIE:
I know. I hope I meet a great guy.

ANNIE:
No you want a game guy. Looking for nothing, but sex. No strings.

KATIE:
Yeah you know I don’t do that Annie.

ANNIE:
Listen you can’t form a serious relationship from meeting a guy at a club. Men who going to clubs only look for one thing, pussy.

KATIE:
Oh do you have to be so blunt about it?

ANNIE:
It’s true. You know it. It’s the same with men who go running at the park.

KATIE:
What do you mean?

ANNIE:
Men want more of a varied workout these days. They’d rather be at the gym lifting iron, but some choose to go for a run at the park. Why is that?

KATIE:
Because the gym memberships are too expensive.

ANNIE:
To perve on women who run at the park. It’s the perfect way for them to start a conversation. They’d be like, ‘Oh im running too, small world’. 

KATIE:
Na they just like the exercise.

ANNIE:
They like the bouncing titty show. It could benefit you Katie.

KATIE:
What, how?

ANNIE:
They won’t just come over randomly. They’ll look like stalkers that’s just bin hiding in the bushes. You need to get their attention somehow.

KATIE:
Okay so show me how you would get a guy’s attention.

ANNIE:
No problemo.

Annie stands up with her water bottle and walks forward a couple of steps. An athletic looking man in his early 30s is jogging near. Annie looks over at him.

ANNIE:
Watch and learn.

Annie takes the cap off of her water bottle. The man jogs over to them. Annie takes a drink of her water. She purposely allows some of the water to drip down her neck to her shirt. She pulls the bottle away smiling.

ANNIE:
Oops.

The smiles at the man. He smiles back as he runs past her. Annie walks over to Katie.

ANNIE:
They’re you go. Next time I see him he’ll be begging for my number.

KATIE:
That’s it? Just drip some water on your shirt?

ANNIE:
Yeah. Now you try.

KATIE:
I don’t know.

ANNIE:
Come on Katie. Just try it. Have a little self confidence.

KATIE:
Right.

Katie stands up with her water bottle and walks forward a couple of steps. Annie sits down on the bench. A chubby looking man in his late 40s is jogging nearby. Annie and Katie see him.

ANNIE:
He’ll do.

Katie turns to her.

KATIE:
What?

ANNIE:
You’re not going to meet Ryan Reynolds in the park. Anyway he’s kind of cute. Just needs to grow all of his hair back that’s all.

Katie turns back. She takes the cap off the bottle. The man approaches her. She takes a drink of the water. She drinks it too quickly and it goes down her throat the wrong way. She coughs up the water. The man slows down concerned as Katie drops the bottle on the ground. Katie leans forward coughing heavily. 

MAN(48):
Are you okay?

KATIE:
(Struggling to speak)Im fine.

The man stops jogging and walks over to her.

MAN:
Went down the wrong hole did it?

He pats and rubs her back as she coughs. Annie looks at them with a straight face.

MAN:
Yeah let it out. There you go.

Katie stands up straight and looks at the man. Her t-shirt is wet. 

MAN:
That better?

KATIE:
Yes thank you.

MAN:
Take care.

The man jogs away. Katie turns to Annie and walks back to the bench. She coughs again and sits down on the bench. She sits calmly and looks at Annie. Annie turns to her then laughs loudly. Katie softly slaps Annie arm.

ANNIE:
Oh god. You’re such a klutz.

Annie can’t contain her laughter.

KATIE:
Shut up.

ANNIE:
I can’t help it. Ohh…

Annie wipes her eyes that have filled with water.

KATIE:
Went down the wrong way. I got his attention didn’t I?

ANNIE:
Yeah because he thought you was dying. I thought he was considering giving you mouth to mouth.

KATIE:
It wasn’t that bad. Nice of him to stop like that though.

ANNIE:
Yeah.

Annie laughs again. 

ANNIE:
Don’t try that tonight okay.

KATIE:
Nope. Tonight they’re be no glitches… I hope. It’s all going to go smoothly like a babies ass.

CUT TO:

EXT. BROADWAY - LATE EVENING

Katie is sat on the sidewalk drunk. She looks half asleep. She is wearing a fitted dress. She is leaning back with her arms behind her. Her handbag is at the side of her. Annie and Bethany are stood at a hot dog stand near Katie. A man is serving them. Annie looks over at Katie.

ANNIE:
Katie?! Katie?! What you want on your hot dog?!

Katie leans forward looking like she’s about to be sick. Annie turns to Bethany.

ANNIE:
What you want babe?

BETHANY(28):
Erm, mustard, onions.

Annie looks at the hot dog man.

ANNIE:
Yeah she’ll have ketchup, no onions. I’ll have mustard.

HOT DOG MAN(45):
Onions? 

ANNIE:
No thanks.

Bethany is looking at Katie.

BETHANY:
Hey look at her.

Annie looks over at Katie. Katie lies on her side clutching onto her handbag. They laugh at little.

BETHANY:
We’ve only been out two hours.

ANNIE:
You know what she’s like? She can’t party like you.

BETHANY:
I don’t think anyone can.

ANNIE:
That’s true.

HOT DOG MAN:
Here you go.

Annie and Bethany turn back to the man. He gives them their hot dogs.

BETHANY:
I got this.

ANNIE:
You sure?

BETHANY:
Yeah, yeah.

Bethany pulls out a few notes and gives it to the man. Annie walks away holding hers and Katie’s hotdog. The man gives Bethany her change. She takes it.

BETHANY:
Thanks.

Bethany walks away. Annie and Bethany approach Katie.

ANNIE:
Katie. Hear eat this.

KATIE:
I can’t.

ANNIE:
Sure you can. Come on sit up.

Katie slows sits up. Annie and Bethany sit down beside Katie on the sidewalk.

ANNIE:
Here.

Annie gives Katie her hot dog.
KATIE:
Oh the smell.

ANNIE:
Just eat it. Pretend it’s Bradley’s cock.

KATIE:
Im gonna be sick.

Katie puts her hotdog on the ground. She stands up and stumbles over to the wall. She vomits onto the floor. Annie and Bethany sit on the sidewalk eating their hotdogs.

BETHANY:
So what you guys doin now?

ANNIE:
I don’t know. I want to party some more, but she obviously can’t.

Annie turns around to Katie. Katie is leaning over the wall. She wipes her mouth. 

ANNIE:
Okay babe?!

Katie puts her thumb up to Annie. Annie turns back to Bethany.

ANNIE:
What you doin?

BETHANY:
Please the night’s just started. You workin tomorrow?

ANNIE:
No. That’s why I really want to stay out and catch up.

Katie walks over to them and sits back down. She picks up her hot dog off the floor and starts to eat it.

KATIE:
Nice. Nice doggy.

ANNIE:
Got it all out?

KATIE:
Yeah. I think im ready for bed?
ANNIE:
Want me to come with you?

KATIE:
To bed? We’re close, but we’re not that close Annie.

ANNIE:
No. Take you home?

KATIE:
Oh. No I’ll be fine.

ANNIE:
Okay.

BETHANY:
We’ll try and get you and cab.

KATIE:
Nope I’ll walk. Some fresh air might help sober me up.

ANNIE:
No way. Not in your condition.

KATIE;
Im not pregnant.

Katie stands up with her hotdog. Annie and Bethany stand up. They put the rest of their hotdog in the trash can.

ANNIE:
I’ll speak to you tomorrow.

KATIE:
Yeah. Enjoy the rest of your night.

Annie hugs Katie. They step away.

BETHANY:
Great to see you buddy.

KATIE:
You too.

Katie and Bethany hug. Katie holds onto her tightly

KATIE:
I miss you Bethany.

BETHANY:
I miss you too.

KATIE:
We don’t see enough of each other.

BETHANY:
Well if you want to meet up just text me. I’ll be out.

KATIE:
I could just fall asleep here.

ANNIE:
Okay.

Annie steps in and breaks apart Katie from Bethany.

ANNIE:
You sure you’re okay walking home?

KATIE:
Yeah im fine. Good night.

A drunken Katie walks away from Annie and Bethany. They watch her walk.

BETHANY:
Now are you ready to really party?

Annie smiles.

ANNIE:
You know it.

They walk away excited.

CUT TO:

EXT. MANHATTAN - LATE EVENING

Katie is walking home slowly. She seems to have sobered up a little. She walks across a deserted street. A gang of youths creep up behind her. They run towards her and one of them snatches Katie’s handbag.

KATIE:
Hey!

The group runs away. Katie starts to run after the youth who has her bag.

KATIE:
Come back here you little shit!

A police man sitting in his car parked at the sidewalk sees the boy running with the handbag. He turns on his siren and accelerates. The rest of the group have scattered. Katie is trying to give chase, but the boy is too quick for her. The police car is driving at a fast speed. He passes the boy then stops his car a few yards infront of him. The officer gets out of his car and pulls out his gun from his holster. He approaches the teenager.

POICE OFFICER(34):
Freeze! Stop right there.

The teenager stops infront of the officer. The officer walks over to him pointing his gun at him. The boy puts up his hands dropping the handbag.

OFFICER:
Turn around now!

The boy turns around. The officer pulls out his handcuffs and approaches the boy.

OFFICER:
That bag doesn’t quite suit you does it?

BOY(18):
I found it.

OFFICER:
Sure you did.

The officer puts his gun back into his holster and puts the handcuffs onto the boy’s wrists.

OFFICER:
Okay over to the car now.

The officer drags the boy over to his patrol car. Katie, out of breath jogs over to her bag. She picks it up and looks over at the boy. He is leaning at the side of the car with the handcuffs tied behind his back. The officer is sat in 

the driver’s seat holding his radio. Katie angrily jogs over the boy.

OFFICER:
Civilian apprehended on account of theft. Teenager, tall and skinny. Will bring in immediately.

Katie approaches the boy.

KATIE:
Thieving little creep. 

Katie starts hitting the boy with her handbag.

BOY:
Help! Help!

OFFICER:
Ahh shit.

The officer gets out of his car.

BOY:
Help! Police! 

RADIO RECEIVER:
Need enlightening of ahh shit, over.

BOY:
This bitch is killin me!

The officer drags Katie away from the boy as she swings her bag at him again.

OFFICER:
Hey, hey stop that.

Katie puts her hands down.

BOY:
Oww!

OFFICER:
Is that your bag miss?

KATIE:
Yeah this little chimp stole it.

BOY:
I found it okay.

KATIE:
You liar. 

BOY:
Screw you crazy.

Katie swings her bag at the boy again. 

BOY:
Help! Help!

The officer drags Katie off of him again.

OFFICER:
Calm down. You do that again I’ll have to arrest you.

KATIE:
Why? He’s the criminal.

BOY:
That’s right officer. Arrest the fruit cake.

The officer turns to the boy.

OFFICER:
Hey shut up!

He turns back to Katie.

OFFICER:
Now calm down. Are you calm?

KATIE:
Im calm.

BOY:
Just breathe like they teach you in therapy.

KATIE:
That’s it.

Katie runs for the boy. The officer blocks her and drags her a couple of yards away from the car.

OFFICER:
Okay over here. Have you been drinking tonight?
KATIE:
What makes you think that?

OFFICER:
Vodka and vomit. You reek of it.

KATIE:
I had a few. Is that a crime?

OFFICER:
Being drunk and disorderly is yeah. Where do you live?

KATIE:
A couple of blocks that way.

OFFICER:
Okay get in the car.

KATIE:
Are you arresting me?

OFFICER:
No. Im making sure you get home safe.

KATIE:
I am not getting in the back with him.

OFFICER:
That im certain of. You ride in front, but you keep quiet and your hands to yourself. Lets go.

The officer and Katie walk back over to the car.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S WORK - MORNING

Katie unenthusiastically walks onto the floor. She slowly walks down over to her desk. She plumps herself hard onto her chair and rests her head on the desk top at the side of the computer monitor. Pippa walks over to her from her desk.

PIPPA:
Wow you look terrible.

Katie turns her head to the side. 

KATIE:
My head is going to explode off of my neck any second now.
PIPPA:
Late night?

KATIE:
Yeah. Regretting it already.

Katie sits up looking at Pippa.

PIPPA:
As long as you had fun.

KATIE:
I nearly got arrested?

PIPPA:
No?

KATIE:
Yeah. Some little goblet stole my handbag.

PIPPA:
Really? Did you get it back?

KATIE:
Yeah then I beat the shit out of him with it.

Pippa laughs.

PIPPA:
Wish I’d been there to see it.

KATIE:
Trust me you don‘t.

PIPPA:
So did you meet anybody?

KATIE:
Well after I threw up on Broadway a nice looking man gave me a ride home. Shame it was a cop car he was driving.

PIPPA:
Aww.

Pippa puts her left arm around Katie. Katie looks at Pippa’s hand. She notices a ring on Pippa’s ring finger. She grabs hold of Pippa’s hand pushing it over her head to her eye line.

KATIE:
Oh my god. Is that what I think it is?

Pippa smiles at Katie excited.

PIPPA:
Bryan proposed.

Katie stands up and excitedly hugs Pippa. They let go.

KATIE:
When did this happen?

PIPPA:
Last night. He took me out to dinner and he went down on one knee. Proposed infront of everybody there.

KATIE:
Then he finally got round to you.

Pippa laughs loudly at Katie.

KATIE:
Sorry. 

Katie grabs holds of Pippa’s hand again. Her ring has a small diamond in the middle of it.

KATIE:
It’s really, really gorgeous.

PIPPA:
I know. I haven’t been able to stop looking at it since he slipped it on me.

KATIE:
Im so happy for you.

PIPPA:
Aww Thank you.

Katie sits back down smiling.

PIPPA:
I got even better news. You’re my best friend in New York, well only friend. But I would love it if you could be one of my bridesmaids.

KATIE:
Really? I’d be honoured. Come here.

Katie hugs Pippa again. They let go.

KATIE:
Well that’s gotten rid of my hangover.

Robert walks over to Katie and Pippa.

ROBERT:
And what are you girls all hot and bothered about?

KATIE:
Pippa is getting married.

Robert turns to Pippa smirking.

ROBERT:
Well congratulations Pippa.

PIPPA:
Thank you sir.

Pippa hugs Robert. He reservedly stands still, a little disgusted. Pippa lets go of him.

ROBERT:
Well, err. Lets take a look.

Pippa holds up her left hand smiling. Robert carefully looks at her ring.

ROBERT:
I’ve seen bigger, but at least it sparkles. Nice.

Pippa lowers her hand still smiling, but not as much.

ROBERT:
So who’s the lucky guy?

PIPPA:
Bryan.

ROBERT:
Who?

PIPPA:
Bryan.
ROBERT:
Who?

KATIE:
Bryan. He’s been Pippa’s boyfriend since she’s been here.

ROBERT:
He doesn’t work here does he?

PIPPA:
No.

ROBERT:
Oh that’s a relief. I wouldn’t want to deal with the fallout in case they get divorced. Congrats again Pippa. 

Robert walks away. Katie and Pippa watch Robert walk away.

KATIE:
He really has terrible ways of dealing with people.

Katie turns to Pippa.

KATIE:
So when’s the date?

PIPPA:
We want to get married as soon as possible really. We can’t wait.

KATIE:
Neither can I.

PIPPA:
Im so happy you’ll be there.

KATIE:
Me too.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - LATE AFTERNOON

Katie opens her door and walks in. She lifts her folder bag off of her shoulder and puts it on the floor. She shuts the door. She walks over to the kitchen and puts her keys onto the counter. She walks over to her phone that is on a small table behind the couch in the living room. She presses play on the machine.
PHONE VOICE:
You have one new message.

KATIE:
Yey one person loves me.

The message starts to play.

ANNIE:
Hey, hey, hey. Last night was awesome. I hope you got home okay. I actually felt bad about leaving you. Well anyway I’ve got a surprise for you. Meet me on 29th street, 7th avenue, 7 o’clock okay. Don’t be late. See you later gorgeous.

CUT TO:

EXT. 7TH AVENUE(MANHATTAN) - EVENING

Katie walks up the street and approaches a building. Big posters read ‘NEW YORK SPEED DATING’. Katie looks at the building and the posters.

KATIE:
You’ve got to be shitting me?

Annie walks over to Katie with a big smile on her face.

ANNIE:
Hey I knew you’d make it.

Katie turns to Annie a little angrily.

KATIE:
Speed dating, seriously?

ANNIE:
What it’s the easiest way to meet guys.

KATIE:
Guys who are nut jobs. It’s not the best way to find a serious relationship.

ANNIE:
Im the one who told you not to try anything serious, but you wouldn’t listen, would you? So here we are.

KATIE:
Im not goin in there.
ANNIE:
Katie you know im stronger than you. I’ll drag you in there if I have to.

KATIE:
No I did my hair. Fine.

ANNIE:
We goin in?

KATIE:
Yes.

ANNIE:
Come on. It’ll be fun. I’ll do it with you.

KATIE:
You’re not lookin for anybody.

ANNIE:
So? There might actually be some cute guys in there.

Katie and Annie walk into the building.

CUT TO:

INT. SPEED DATING - EVENING

Katie is sat down at her table. A tall, broad man with lots of facial hair wearing leather clothes sits down.

KATIE:
Hi.

MAN(55):
What’s up?

KATIE:
Not much.

MAN:
Im Phil. Big Phil. That’s what my momma called me.

KATIE:
Im Katie. So tell me about yourself.

PHIL:
Well I just got out the pen and looking for love. It’s been a while.
KATIE:
Oh. How long was you in there for? 

PHIL:
Fifteen years. Bank heist went wrong.

KATIE:
Was it okay in there?

PHIL:
I kept myself occupied.

Katie looks at the tattoo on Phil’s arm. It is a red heart with the name Billy written in the middle.

CUT TO:

INT. SPEED DATING - EVENING

Katie is sat down at her table. A man wearing casual clothes is sitting opposite her.

KATIE:
So what do you do?

MAN(25):
Im a painter.

KATIE:
Oh that’s great. What do you paint? Buildings, abstracts?

MAN:
Porn stars?

KATIE:
Excuse me?

MAN:
I paint porn stars when they’re fuckin each other.

Katie looks at him disgusted.

CUT TO:

INT. SPEED DATING - EVENING

Katie is sat down at her table. A man, small in structure wearing glasses is sat opposite her. He is around forty five years old wearing a striped shirt and pants.
KATIE:
So you still live with your parents?

CUT TO:

INT. SPEED DATING - EVENING

Katie is sat down at her table. A man wearing a smart suit is sat opposite her.

MAN(35):
I believe women should stay at home, leave the work to the men. It’s the way relationships work best. Men bring in the money while women keep the house clean and cook dinner.

KATIE:
What about equal rights?

MAN:
What’s that?

Katie looks at him annoyed.

CUT TO:

INT. SPPED DATING - EVENING

Katie is sat down at her table. A young man wearing baggy clothes and a New York Yankee cap is sat opposite her.

KATIE:
So you like music?

MAN(21):
Yeah. Hip hop mainly. I wanna be a rapper and do a duet with Jay Z. I could freestyle for you if you want.

KATIE:
What here? Erm, okay.

MAN:
Right okay. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, yo, yo… Yo, yo, yo. Wait hold on im just getting myself warmed up.

KATIE:
Well we do have a couple of minutes. Take your time.

The man looks away in deep thought. 

MAN:
Oh I’ve got one.

He looks back at Katie. 

MAN:
I love milk,
It comes from breasts.
It’s so creamy,
Titties are the best.

He smiles proudly at Katie. Katie looks at him unimpressed.

KATIE:
Wow.

CUT TO:

INT. SPEED DATING - LATER

Katie and Annie are stood together in the corner of the hall on the speed break. 

KATIE:
This is a disaster. So far I’ve met a convicted criminal, a porn star painter and a kid who raps about milk.

ANNIE:
Give it chance, we’ve only just gotten started. They’re not all bad.

Katie and Annie look around. They look at a man who is picking his nose. He digs in deep. He looks around discreetly and wipes his hand on the table next to him. Katie looks back at Annie.

KATIE:
Im in fucking a nightmare.

ANNIE:
Okay if you don’t meet at least one good guy tonight we will never do this again okay.

KATIE:
Yes good idea.

The speed dating organiser, a man stands at the front of the room.

ORGANISER(40):
Okay ladies and gentlemen. Please take back to your seats for round two.

The people start to walk back to their seats.

ANNIE:
Alright I’ll be over there.

Annie walks away to her seat. Katie walks over to her seat. She sits down. A man with a short hair cut wearing a smart shirt and jeans walks over and sits down opposite. He smiles at Katie. She smiles back.

KATIE:
Hi.

MAN(28):
Hey how are you?

KATIE:
Im good thank you.

MAN:
Not considering walking out yet?

KATIE:
Thought about it.

MAN:
I was speaking to a woman before…

KATIE:
What was wrong with her?

MAN:
I think she was a man.

Katie laughs at him. He smiles.

MAN:
Im serious. She has an incredibly deep voice… and an Adam’s apple. Im Kevin.

KATIE:
Katie.

Kevin puts out his hand to Katie. She reaches out hers and they shake hands. They let go.
KEVIN:
So what made you wanna come here then?

KATIE:
My friend thought she’d surprise me. She definitely did that? Why you?

KEVIN:
I don’t know really. Last resort I guess to meet someone nice. I got divorced last year.

KATIE:
Oh sorry to here about that.

KEVIN:
No It’s fine. We rushed into the marriage. Best thing for us was to separate. Have you been married?

KATIE:
No. I came close once, but no.

KEVIN:
I was useless as a husband.

KATIE:
What was the worst thing you did?

KEVIN:
I fell asleep one afternoon when I was cooking dinner.

KATIE:
Oh my god.

KEVIN:
Destroyed the whole kitchen.

Katie laughs at him.

KEVIN:
She was furious.

KATIE:
I can imagine.

Kevin smiles at her.

CUT TO:

INT. SPEED DATING - EVENING

Katie is still sat at her table with Kevin.

KEVIN:
Im a lawyer actually.

KATIE:
Oh really? You deal with criminals and that?

KEVIN:
Yeah. There’s not a warrant out for your arrest is there?

Katie flashbacks to last night.

CUT TO:

EXT. MANHATTAN - LATE EVENING

Katie is stood with the police officer at the side of the road.

OFFICER:
You do that again and I’ll have to arrest you.

CUT TO:

INT. SPEED DATING - EVENING

Katie looks at Kevin at the table.

KATIE:
Oh no, course not.

Kevin smiles at her.

KEVIN:
Ah it’s a good job. Stressful sometimes, well all the time. But it pays well.

Katie discreetly texts on her phone which she is holding under the table while listening to Kevin speak. Annie is sat on the other side of the room. She is sat opposite a man wearing a cheap suit and lots of jewellery. Annie looks bored listening to him.

MAN(38):
And that’s why the acid decays in your gums.

Annie feels a vibration in her jeans pocket. She pulls out her phone and openly reads a text message from Katie. The text says ‘This guy is actually normal, and cute’. Annie looks over to get a glimpse of the man Katie is with.

MAN:
Excuse what are you doin?

Annie looks at him.

ANNIE:
What?

MAN:
I am talking to you about acid erosion in the mouth and you aren’t even looking at me.

ANNIE:
Can you blame me?

Annie looks over at Katie. The man clicks his fingers infront of Annie. 

MAN:
Hey, hey.

Annie sharply glares at him.

ANNIE:
You did not just click your fingers infront of my face.

MAN:
Hear I am passing my dentistry wisdom down to you and you are ignoring me. You are rude and ungrateful of this great knowledge.

ANNIE:
Well look at what I am passing up to you.

Annie raises her middle right finger to him.

MAN:
That is very immature.

ANNIE:
One more word out of you and this is going up the tunnel you call a nostril.

The man looks around.
MAN:
This is ridiculous. 

Annie leans over the table and grabs the man.

MAN:
Get off me woman.

People nearby try to pull Annie off the man. Katie and Kevin look over at Annie as she is being told to leave the building. Kevin looks back at Katie.

KEVIN:
Some crazy people come to these things don’t they?

KATIE:
Yeah.

Katie smiles at him nervously.

KEVIN:
Oh did you know her?

KATIE:
Oh her? No. I just passed her on the street on the way here. 

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S WORK - MID MORNING

Katie is tying on her computer. She stops and looks over at Pippa. Pippa is reading through some papers on her desk.

KATIE:
Hey. Pippa?

Pippa turns to her.

PIPPA:
Yeah.

KATIE:
I was thinking about your bachelorette party.

PIPPA:
Oh I wasn’t going to have one. 

KATIE:
What? You have to have a bachelorette party. It’s your final night of freedom.

PIPPA:
Bryan and me was thinkin of just going out for a meal.

KATIE:
Pippa that is unacceptable. No.

PIPPA:
It would be pretty pointless. All of my friends and family are at home. No one would turn up.

KATIE:
Of course they would. And I know exactly the person to throw it for you.

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - LATE EVENING

Bethany is stood at the bar in the club. The club is busy, playing loud dance music. She is holding up a shot.

BETHANY:
I love the wild ones! Woo!

She downs the shot and slams the glass onto the bar top. Katie, Annie and Katie are stood next to her. They drink their shot. Pippa drinks it slowly. She only drinks half of the shot and puts it down shivering.

BETHANY:
Who’s up for another?

KATIE:
Oh no thanks.

ANNIE:
Bring it on.

Bethany looks at Pippa. Pippa smiles then shakes head. Bethany looks at the male bartender.

BETHANY:
Another two Scotty please.

The bartender smiles and sorts out the drinks. Bethany looks back at Pippa.

BETHANY:
So Pippa what kind of party would you like? Would you like it in a club like this?

PIPPA:
Erm it’s nice, but the loud music, the overcrowding. It’s not really my thing.

ANNIE:
She’s more used to tea parties.

KATIE:
Not everybody in England drinks tea Annie.

The bartender gives Bethany the two shots. Bethany grabs them.

BETHANY:
But everybody in Russia drinks vodka. Thanks Scotty.

Bethany gives Annie her shot and they drink them.

BETHANY:
Oh you know. We should have a theme? You know like 70s or movie stars. 

PIPPA:
Oo a princess theme. Everybody can wear fluffy pink and purple dresses with flowers in their hair.

ANNIE:
I am not wearing pink. Wait I am invited aren’t I?

PIPPA:
Yes. Even though you always make fun of me.

KATIE:
That’s Annie’s way of saying she likes you.

PIPPA:
Oh, okay.

BETHANY:
Well we’ve got a couple of weeks to figure things out. Right now we can just party.
CUT TO:
INT. CLUB - LATER

Katie, Annie and Pippa are stood at the bar. Bethany is on the dance floor with a group of people.

KATIE:
I might just do you know. Play around, not look for anything serious. Have some fun.

ANNIE:
That’s my girl. Stop being so sensible all the time. Hop from one bed to the other.

A man walks over to Annie. He touches her on the shoulder. She turns around.

ANNIE:
Alex hey.

Annie hugs Alex and grabs his hand.

ANNIE:
Im goin dancing!

Annie walks over to the dance floor with Alex.

KATIE:
So what do you think? See anybody for me?

PIPPA:
Erm. There’s a lot of people in here. 

KATIE:
How do I approach it? Do I play it cool or be more outgoing?

PIPPA:
I wouldn’t know how to.

KATIE:
What do you mean?

PIPPA:
I’ve never pulled anyone in a club before. I’ve only been with Bryan.

KATIE:
Seriously? That’s a bit odd.

PIPPA:
I was saving myself for the right person and then I found him. I had to go to a different country like to find him, but im glad I did.

KATIE:
Aww Pippa. That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.

PIPPA:
Want my advice?

KATIE:
Please.

PIPPA:
Don’t try too hard to make yourself look how they want you to look. If they don’t like you the way that you are, then it’s their loss.

KATIE:
Thank you.

Katie hugs Pippa them puts her arm around her. Pippa looks at Katie’s arm.

PIPPA:
You do this though and men will think you’re a lesbian.

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - LATE EVENING

Annie is dancing with Alex on the dance floor.

ALEX(32):
Im goin to the bathroom. I’ll be right back!

ANNIE:
Yeah okay!

Alex walks away from Annie. Annie continues to dance on her own. A man walks over to her and touches her arm. She looks at him.

ANNIE:
Mike hi!

Annie smiles and hugs Mike.
                      CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PAR - MORNING

Katie is jogging in the park. She slows down and pulls out her phone from her pocket. She dials Annie’s phone. She puts her phone to her ear. It goes straight to voicemail.

KATIE:
Hey you’re missing our run. Probably busy with Alex I presume. I’ll come round your place tonight after work with pizza okay. Bye.

Katie hangs up her phone.

CUT TO:

INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT - MORNING

Annie is lying in bed naked asleep. Alex and Mike are asleep at either side of her, also naked. She wakes up. She sits up and looks at them.

ANNIE:
What a night.

CUT TO:

INT. OFFICE BUILDING - EVENING

Katie is standing next to Annie near the elevator on the bottom floor. A couple walk into the elevator. Couples are queuing up behind each other outside the elevator.

KATIE:
I thought you said we weren’t going to do this again?

ANNIE:
I said if you didn’t meet anyone nice, we wouldn’t do this again. So here we are.

KATIE:
What’s with the elevator.

ANNIE:
It promotes people to say what they what they want in a quick time.

KATIE:
How was it with Alex last night? I didn’t see you leave.

ANNIE:
Yeah I kinda bumped into Mike as well.

KATIE:
Ohh bet that was awkward.

ANNIE:
Not really found my way around it.

KATIE:
Okay so you avoided Mike and left with Alex?

ANNIE:
Not exactly?

Katie looks at Annie for a few seconds.

KATIE:
A threesome, really?

ANNIE:
It got a bit crazy.

KATIE:
And they were into it?

ANNIE:
Yeah it really surprised me how into it they were. Actually it might have been a little weird how into it they were.

KATIE:
Unbelievable.

ANNIE:
Fun and games Katie.

Katie and Annie reach the front of the line.

ANNIE:
Your turn. Have fun.

KATIE:
Thanks.

Annie walks away. The elevator stops on the floor. The doors open. Katie walks in with a man wearing a smart suit which is one size too big for him. They turn to the elevator doors. The man looks nervous. The doors close. The man holds onto the rails. The elevator starts to move. 
MAN(26):
Oh my god!!

The man makes Katie jump and looks at him concerned.

KATIE:
What’s wrong?

MAN:
We’re going to die!!

KATIE:
What? Why do say that?

MAN:
Elevators are dangerous!

KATIE:
So why are you in one?

MAN:
My therapist said I had to face my fears!

KATIE:
How’s that going for you?

MAN:
Ahh!!

Katie walks over to him.

KATIE:
Okay just calm down, okay. We’re going to be fine.

The man looks at her.

MAN:
You mean it?

KATIE:
Yeah of course I do.

Katie turns her head away.

KATIE:
Annie im going to kill you.

The elevator bumps a little.

MAN:
That’s it! It’s the end of us! Daddy!!

The man holds tightly onto the rails.

CUT TO:

INT. BUILDING - EVENING

The elevator stops at the top floor. The doors open. Katie is standing in the elevator. The man is crouched down on the floor sobbing.

KATIE:
Well that was fun. Bet you’re glad we were going up. God only knows what you’d have been like going down.

Katie walks out of the elevator. People are waiting outside the elevator.

CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING

Katie walks into the coffee shop dressed for work. She is holding her phone to her ear.

KATIE:
Hey what kind of coffee would you like?

PIPPA:
Oo a chocolate, caramel macchiato.

KATIE:
Okay. Hey, do you have coffee like this in England?

PIPPA:
Of course. We have loads of Starbucks across the country.

Katie approaches the counter. A man in a smart suit infront of her receives his coffee. He turns around and bumps into Katie. It is Kevin. He is holding a cup of coffee in one hand, his briefcase in the hand.

KEVIN:
 Im sorry.

Kevin looks at Katie.

KEVIN:
Oh Hey.

KATIE:
Hi. Kevin right?

KEVIN:
Yeah. I was hoping to see you again.

KATIE:
Really?

A man standing behind Katie leans forward.

MAN(35):
Are you actually goin to order something?

Katie turns to him.

KATIE:
It’s alright. You can go before me.

MAN:
Thanks.

Katie and Kevin step aside. The man moves to the front of the line and gets served at the counter. Katie turns back to Kevin.

KEVIN:
Yeah I was hoping you would call me.

KATIE:
I know I’ve been a little busy that’s all.

KEVIN:
Well are you free tonight? Im doin the early shift today so I was thinkin about going to for somethin to eat.

KATIE:
Yeah that would be great.

KEVIN:
Oh good cos if you refused I’d have to find a way to get you arrested.

Katie smiles at him.

KATIE:
Oh really?

KEVIN:
Yeah I found that warrant for your arrest.

KATIE:
And what did I supposedly do?

KEVIN:
You stole a monkey from Central Park and held it captive in your apartment.

KATIE:
Ahh you found me out. I do miss Bubbles.

Katie and Kevin smile at each other.

KEVIN:
So I’ll pick you tonight?

KATIE:
Yeah.

KEVIN:
Seven good?

KATIE:
No it’s great. Here.

Katie pulls out a pen from her pocket. She grabs Kevin’s arm and starts to write on it.

KATIE:
This is my address. It’s only a couple of blocks from here.

She stops writing and lets go of his arm.

KEVIN:
Okay well I’ll see you tonight.

KATIE:
Yeah.

KEVIN:
Bye.

Kevin smiles and walks out of the coffee shop.
                     CUT TO:
INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - EARLY EVENING

Katie is in her bedroom trying to decide what to wear on her date. A few dresses are lying on her bed. Katie is on the phone.

KATIE:
So what shall I wear?

ANNIE:
Erm something slutty. You want to impress the guy.

KATIE:
Nothing impresses more than I look like a hooker. 

ANNIE:
Fine wear a nice dress then. Where’s he taking you?

KATIE:
Red Lobster.

ANNIE:
Oo fancy. Wait you hate lobster. 

KATIE:
It’s not the only thing they have, is it?

ANNIE:
Never been. Well have a great time.

KATIE:
Thanks. What are you up to tonight?

ANNIE:
Getting laid.

KATIE:
I shouldn’t have asked.

ANNIE:
Have fun.

KATIE:
You too. No doubt you will.

ANNIE:
Bye dude.

KATIE:
Bye.

Katie hangs up the phone and puts it onto her bed. She picks up a red dress and holds it up.

KATIE:
You’ll do.

CUT TO:

INT. RED LOBSTER - EVENING

Katie and Kevin sit down at their table. The restaurant is nearly full.

KEVIN:
Hope this is okay. It’s the only place I could get a reservation for last minute.

KATIE:
No yeah it’s fine.

KEVIN:
You had lobster before?

KATIE:
No. Never really saw the attraction. With the claws and everything.

KEVIN:
Well they are nice. Little crunchy, but nice. So tell me a little about yourself.

KATIE:
Well I work for a magazine called Celebes weekly. We mainly talk about the industry that is glamour and celebrities basically.

KEVIN:
Oh right. You enjoy it?

KATIE:
Yeah it’s good. How about you? How’s your work?

KEVIN:
I won a case actually today. 

KATIE:
Oh great.

KEVIN:
Yeah my client was found not guilty of stealing a lawn mower.

KATIE:
Seriously?

KEVIN:
Yeah a store owner accused him of actually stealing one of his lawn mowers.

KATIE:
Why did he do that?

KEVIN:
Because one was missing. Little did he know that one of his colleagues took the freakin thing.

Katie laughs. 

KATIE:
Imagine, of all the things to be found guilty of.

KEVIN:
Yeah. I don’t know what I would have done he was found guilty.

Kevin looks at Katie and they laugh at each other.

CUT TO:

INT. RED LOBSTER - LATER

Katie and Kevin are sat at their table. A waitress puts their lobster onto the table. Katie stares at the lobster. Katie and Kevin look at the waitress.

KEVIN:
Thank you.

KATIE:
Thanks.

The waitress smiles and walks away.

KEVIN:
So?

KATIE:
Was this thing alive this morning?

KEVIN:
Yeah. They usually cook them live.

KATIE:
So it’s not gonna attack me if I touch it is it?

KEVIN:
No.

Kevin reaches over a strips off one of the claws.

KEVIN:
Try it. You never know. It could be the best thing you’ve ever tasted.

KATIE:
Well it does look soo… red.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - EVENING

Katie and Kevin are walking through central park. They are walking along the path next to the lake. Katie is holding onto Kevin’s arm. They are smiling at each other.

KATIE:
No it was. I surprisingly enjoyed it.

KEVIN:
So we’ll go again sometime.

KATIE:
Erm…

Kevin laughs at Katie.

KATIE:
Okay, okay. I didn’t enjoy it quite that much. But, no I did enjoy being taken out to a nice restaurant by a nice guy.

KEVIN:
Oh you think im nice, eh?
KATIE:
Yeah you’re alright.

KEVIN:
I’d like to do this again sometime.

KATIE:
Yeah me too.

They stop walking and turn to each other. Katie smiles at him, he smiles back. 

KATIE:
(Singing)Kiss me.

Kevin laughs at Katie. They lean to each other and kiss.

The song Kiss Me by Sixpence Non The Richer plays.

Katie and Kevin continue walking through the park.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Katie and Kevin are sat on her couch in the living room. Katie is holding a glass of wine. Kevin is holding a bottle of beer. The T.V is on in the background. They are looking at each other laughing.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

Katie and Kevin are sat next to each other sharing an ice cream sundae. Katie picks up the cherry off the top and eats it. She puts some cream on Kevin’s cheek. He smiles at her. She leans in and kisses the cream off.

CUT TO:

INT. CENTRAL PARK - MORNING

Katie, Kevin and Annie are stood together in their jogging clothes talking to each other. They smile and Katie wraps her arms around Kevin. They start to jog holding their water bottles. 

CUT TO:
INT. DINER - NOON

Katie and Kevin are sat opposite each other in a booth. They’re eating their burgers and fries. They talk to each other.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - MORNING

Katie and Kevin are lying in bed together. They are lying on their side facing each other. They kiss each other and hold hands. 

The song fades.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - MORNING

Katie is standing in the kitchen infront of the stove. She is making fried eggs and bacon.

KATIE:
Hey how many eggs do you want?!

Kevin walks into the kitchen.

KEVIN:
Two please and bacon. I worked up quite an appetite this morning.

Kevin walks over and puts his hands around Katie.

KATIE:
We both have.

Kevin kisses Katie on the cheek.

KEVIN:
Im going to get a quick shower lover.

KATIE:
Okay lover man.

Kevin smiles and walks out of the kitchen. Katie grabs hold of the frying pan handle. She feels the heat and lets go of the handle.

KATIE:
Holy butt hole!!

KEVIN:
You okay?!

KATIE:
Yeah fine!

Kevin steps back to the kitchen.

KEVIN:
Not heard holy butt hole in a while.

KATIE:
I meant shit! Fuck! Naa butt hole sounds better.

Kevin smiles and walks to the bathroom. There is a knock on the door. 

KATIE:
Just a minute!

Katie turns off the stove ring. She walks over to her door and opens it. A man in his late twenties is standing there. Katie looks at him surprised.

KATIE:
Jamie?

He smiles at her.

JAMIE(28):
Yeah baby.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - LATER

Katie is sat on her couch in the living room next to Jamie.

KATIE:
I thought you was still in Hollywood.

JAMIE:
Yeah I moved back a couple of weeks ago. You would not believe what I got up to there. A got a waiters job at first, just to keep money flowing in then went to a shit load of auditions. For movies, T.V, commercials. 
KATIE:
Did you get any?

JAMIE:
Come on, of course I did. I played a dead corpse on CSI. 

KATIE:
Really?

JAMIE:
Yeah I was on screen for a total of one minute and twenty seven seconds. Told every shit bird at school I’d make it. Hey guess who I served once at the restaurant.

KATIE:
Who?

JAMIE:
Russell Crowe. Yeah I was so starstruck, but I couldn’t not quote one of his movies.

KATIE:
Which did you do?

JAMIE:
I did, (Deepens his voice)This is Sparta! From 300.

KATIE:
Jamie he wasn’t in that? 

JAMIE:
No wonder he got so upset. Threw a fork at me the douche.

KATIE:
Then what happened?

JAMIE:
It hit my boss and cut his eye open. I got fired.

KATIE:
Well im glad you’ve done so well for yourself.

JAMIE:
Yeah, me too.

Kevin walks into the living naked, only wearing a towel around his waist.

KEVIN:
Hun have you…

Kevin looks at Jamie.

KEVIN:
Hi.

Jamie looks at him bemusedly.

JAMIE:
Oh hey man.

KATIE: 
Kevin this is my old friend from high school Jamie. 

Jamie stands up and walks over to Kevin.

KATIE:
Jamie this is Kevin.

Jamie shakes hands with Jamie, holding onto the towel with his other hand.

KEVIN:
Hi.

JAMIE:
We were more than friends actually. A lot more. You buy a girl an engagement ring and she forgets all about it.

KEVIN:
You guys were engaged?

Katie stands up. Kevin lets go of Jamie’s hand.

KATIE:
Yeah, but that was a long time ago.

JAMIE:
This is awkward. Im an actor by the way. Just got back from Hollywood.

KEVIN:
I’d better get changed.

Katie smiles at Kevin. He walks out of the living room.

JAMIE:
Nice meetin ya.

Jamie turns to Katie smiling.

JAMIE:
Well.

CUT TO:

INT. KEVIN’S WORK - AFTERNOON

Kevin is in his office. He is sitting down at his desk reading some papers. There is a knock on the door.

KEVIN:
Come in.

Katie opens the door and walks into the office.

KATIE:
Hey.

Kevin looks at her.

KEVIN:
Hey.

She closes the door.

KATIE:
About this morning.

KEVIN:
No it’s alright. It’s fine.

KATIE:
Really?

KEVIN:
Yeah.

Kevin stands up and walks over to Katie.

KATIE:
He’s only just come back. I’ve not seen him in over five years.

KEVIN:
What happened? How come you guys didn’t get married?

KATIE:
I found him in bed with my maid of honour.

KEVIN:
What Annie?

KATIE:
No. My sister.

KEVIN:
Woh what a dick.

KATIE:
And what a whore.

KEVIN:
So what’s he doin back?

KATIE:
Said he got a film role in the city. Says it’s top secret though. If it bothers you, me seeing him again I…

KEVIN:
No course not.

Kevin kisses Katie on the cheek.

CUT TO: 

INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Annie and Katie are standing in her kitchen.

ANNIE:
What the fuck is that fuck nut doin back?

KATIE:
He’s workin.

ANNIE:
And you saw him? After what he and your slut bag sister did to you?

KATIE:
That was a long time ago. 

ANIE:
Don’t tell me, he’s changed.

KATIE:
No he’s still the same arrogant idiot. But im with Kevin now and things are goin so great.

ANNIE:
I know that’s what worries me. Cos you know how you are around Jamie.

KATIE:
Well don’t because there’s nothing to worry about.

ANNIE:
I hope so Katie. I really do.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - MID MORNING

Katie and Jamie are sitting next to each other on a bench.

JAMIE:
Yeah I had a crazy night in L.A once. It end with me having cocktails with Charlie Sheen and two prostitutes in a hot tub.

KATIE:
Really?

JAMIE:
Yeah. You never know who you’re goin to meet in Hollywood.

She smiles then looks away.

JAMIE:
 You know I didn’t feel good about the way things ended between us. It’s just your sister was so hot.

Katie looks back and glares at him.

KATIE:
Ancient history.

JAMIE:
Not to me. I miss you sometimes.

KATIE:
I miss you… sometimes.

JAMIE:
Kelvin seems nice.

KATIE:
It’s Kevin actually. Yeah he treats me well.

JAMIE:
Good. Looks like he works out too. We should do a session sometime. Pump some iron like Arnie and Sly do. Oh I actually saw Stallone once.

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - EVENING

It is Pippa’s bachelorette party. It is a British theme. The women in the club are wearing Union Jack suits and dresses. The club is decorated with Great Britain flags and streamers. Bethany is standing near the club entrance greeting guests. 

BETHANY:
(Posh)How do you do?

People are walking past Bethany towards the bar. Katie walks over to Bethany.

BETHANY:
How do you do? That’s how they greet each other in England innit?

KATIE:
Yeah I think so. It looks good in here.

BETHANY:
Just wait till later.

Pippa walks over to Bethany and Katie. She is wearing a light pink dress. Katie looks at her smiling.

KATIE:
Hey.

Katie hugs Pippa.

KATIE:
You look gorgeous.

They let go. Bethany looks at Pippa.

BETHANY:
So Pippa? You like it?

PIPPA:
Like it? I love it.

Pippa looks at Bethany excited. She looks around the room.

PIPPA:
It looks amazing. Oh you’ve even got Union Jack plastic cups and plates.

BETHANY:
Yeah well I figured you’re British so British would be good.

PIPPA:
Yeah better than the princess theme I had.

Annie walks over to them holding a glass of wine.

ANNIE:
Hey Pippy.

Katie looks at Annie.

KATIE:
Hi Annie.

ANNIE:
You look, pink.

KATIE:
Is that you’re way of givin a compliment?

ANNIE:
What, I thought that was pretty good. Lets get you a drink Poppy.

PIPPA:
Okay.

KATIE:
Okay before you do I’ve got a surprise for you. Well two actually.
A woman in her 50s and a woman in her late 20s walk round the corner to Pippa. Pippa turns to them. She holds her hand to her mouth.

PIPPA:
Oh my god.

Pippa hugs the women.

PIPPA:
I thought you couldn’t make it.

She lets go.

WOMAN(55):
Well we got persuaded by this lady over the phone.

KATIE:
Hi Mrs Neville. Im Katie.

Katie shakes her hand.

PIPPA‘S MOTHER:
Said we’ve regret it for the rest of our lives if we didn’t come to see you get married.

Pippa looks at Katie.

PIPPA:
Aww. I think im going to cry. Thank you.

An emotional Pippa hugs Katie tightly.

KATIE:
You’re welcome.

She lets go.

KATIE:
I knew it would have meant everything to you to have your mum and sister here with you on your special day.

PIPPA:
Words can’t describe how happy I am right now.

Pippa turns to Annie.

PIPPA:
Im ready for my drink.
ANNIE:
Now you’re talking.

Annie grabs Pippa hand and they to start to walk over to the bar.

ANNIE:
You’re sister too.

Annie grabs Pippa’s sister’s hand.

ANNIE:
Wow you’re gorgeous.

PIPPA’S SISTER(26):
Thank you.

They walk over to the bar.

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - LATER

Music is playing. Everyone is talking and laughing. Pippa is sat with her mother and sister at a table. Katie and Annie are stood at the bar looking over at Pippa.

KATIE:
Look at how happy she is?

ANNIE:
You’re a diamond friend Katie.

KATIE:
Aww thanks buddy.

Bethany walks over to the DJ booth. The DJ gives Bethany a microphone and turns down the music. Bethany walks over to the dance floor.

BETHANY:
Hello. Everybody? Everybody?

Everybody stops their conversations and looks over at Bethany.

BETHANY:
I thank everybody for coming to the beautiful miss, soon to be Mrs Pippa’s bachelorette party. I’d like for Pippa to
come over please.

Pippa stands up and walks over to Bethany.

BETHANY:
Would you like to say a few words?

Pippa smiles as Bethany gives her the microphone.

PIPPA:
I’d just like to say thank you to Bethany for throwing this party, im a little drunk right now.

They laugh at Pippa. Pippa smiles excitedly.

PIPPA:
Im getting married to the nicest man I’ve ever met. But it would mean nothing if I didn’t have my family here to see me get married. I thank my mum and sister for coming and for Katie that brought them here. Thank you.

They clap and cheer for Pippa as Bethany takes back the microphone.

BETHANY:
Now Pippa we have one last surprise for you.

A security guard brings out a chair to the middle the dance floor. 

BETHANY:
So if you could just sit down please and enjoy the show.

Pippa sits down on the chair. Bethany walks off the dance floor. The DJ puts on the song Disco Inferno by The Trammps. A man wearing a fireman’s outfit walks out. The girls cheer. Bethany speaks on the microphone.

BETHANY:
No it’s not Bryan.

He takes off his jacket and starts dancing. Pippa sits there nervously smiling. He jigs over to her and puts his fireman hat on Pippa’s head. He shakes off his boots.

ANNIE:
Go on Pippa!

Everyone sings the song as it plays. The man takes off his pant suspenders from his shoulders and rips off his vest shirt. He moves closer to Pippa.

PIPPA:
You’re skin is so shiny.

BETHANY:
Grab him Pippa. Don’t be scared.

Pippa puts her hands on his hips as he wiggles them. Everybody laughs. The man steps back and rips off his pants. Everybody cheers.

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - LATE EVENING

Annie is standing infront of the buffet table. There is a selection of a few English foods on their including sausage rolls, pork pies and even fish and chips. Katie and Pippa walks over to her with Pippa’s sister. Bethany is standing at the bar talking to the bartender.

ANNIE:
Just shows how posh the English are. They eat finger food with a fork. Come on just pick it up and shove it in your mouth.

PIPPA:
That what you always do.

Katie and Pippa’s sister look at Pippa laughing. Annie glares at her with a smirk.

ANNIE:
You’re fiery when you’ve a drink Pippy. I like it. Come on lets get you more ammunition.

PIPPA:
Okay lets get it on bitch.

ANNIE:
Bitch, love it.

Annie and Pippa walk over to the bar. Katie turns and smiles to Pippa’s sister.

CUT TO: 

INT. CLUB - LATER

Most of the women have left the club. Annie and Bethany are standing at the bar drinking shots. Pippa and Katie are sat next to each other at a table. Pippa is drunk. Pippa’s mother and sister walk over to Pippa. Pippa and Katie look at them.

PIPPA’S MOTHER:
We’re going to go back to the hotel love.

PIPPA:
Oh you should stay with me and Bryan.

PIPPA’S MOTHER:
No you’ve got your own space.

PIPPA’S SISTER:
Plus mum loves the Jacuzzi at the hotel.

They smile.

PIPPA’S MOTHER:
Bye honey. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Pippa hugs her mother. Her mother steps back.

PIPPA’S SISTER:
Bye sis.

Pippa hugs her sister.

PIPPA:
Thank you so much.

They let go. 

KATIE:
Bye.

They wave at Pippa and leave the club. Pippa turns to Katie.

KATIE:
You had fun tonight?
PIPPA:
I had a brilliant time tonight. Thank you.

KATIE:
Anything for a friend.

PIPPA:
I love you. I love you. I love you.

Pippa throws her arms around Katie. She kisses her cheek repeatedly.

KATIE:
That’s a lot of lovin.

Pippa falls off her chair onto the floor. She lays on her back laughing.

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - MORNING

Katie is stood in the kitchen on her phone.

KATIE:
You alright?

ANNIE:
Way too many shots last night. I don’t know how Bethany does it all the time.

KATIE:
She is not human that’s how. She’s a drinking cyborg sent from the 60s.

ANNIE:
I feel like I’ve destroyed all of my brain cells with Sambuca. 

KATIE:
Did you have any left?

ANNIE:
Ha ha. We back on it tonight?

KATIE:
Seriously?

ANNIE:
Yeah why not. Celebrate Pippa’s final night before she puts the ball and chains on.

KATIE:
She’s having dinner with her mom and sister.

ANNIE:
Well we’ll do it without her. She’ll be there in spirit whilst we get fucked up. Make sure you bring Kevin.

KATIE:
You gonna bring Alex, or Mike? Or both?

ANNIE:
Na got bored with em. I’ll hunt for new meat to prey on.

KATIE:
You are a predator.

ANNIE:
And im looking to smash Arnold Schwarzenegger back to the chopper!

Katie smiles.

KATIE:
Okay I’ll see you tonight.

ANNIE:
Laters. 

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - LATE EVENING

Katie, Annie and Kevin are on the dance floor dancing. The club is crowded playing loud dance music. Katie and Kevin move closer to each other. Annie turns and smiles to a man who is dancing next to them. She starts to dance with him.

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - LATER

Katie and Kevin are sat at a table near the bar. Katie is slumped on the table drunk. Kevin stands up.

KEVIN:
Im goin to the mens room babe. Won’t be a sec.

Lifts her head up drowsily. 

KATIE:
Okay sweetie.

Kevin walks away. Katie holds her head slumping on the table. She closes her eyes. Jamie is standing at the bar. He turns and watches Kevin walk to the bathroom with a smirk on his face. 

CUT TO:

INT. CLUB - LATE EVENING

Jamie approaches Katie. She is still leaning over the table. He leans in towards her and starts kissing her. She still has her eyes closed. She starts to kiss him back. Annie is dancing with the same man on the dance floor. She is looking over watching Katie kiss Jamie. Kevin is standing near the table watching them. Katie pulls away from Jamie. She looks at him confused. She turns to Kevin. He shakes his head and walks away. 

KATIE:
Kevin?

She stands up and walks after Kevin. Annie walks over to Jamie. He is smiling. She approaches him and punches him on the chin. He falls to the floor and she starts to kick him. He covers up and a few men step in to pull Annie off of Jamie.

CUT TO:

EXT. CLUB - LATE EVENING

Kevin storms out of the club and starts walking. Katie rushes out and walks to him.

KATIE:
Kevin im so sorry! I thought it was you!

He turns around to her.

KEVIN:
Is that the best you can come up with?!
KATIE:
It’s the truth.

KEVIN:
I knew there was something still between you and him. You played me.

KATIE:
No.

KEVIN:
Goodbye Katie. It’s over.

Kevin turns back and walks away. Katie puts her head into her hands in frustration.

KATIE:
Kevin.

Annie gets dragged out the club by a security guard. 

ANNIE:
Get your gorilla hands off me!

He lets go of her and walks back into the club.

ANNIE:
Fucking Kong!

Annie looks at Katie and walks over to her.

ANNIE:
Hey I saw the whole thing. Where’s Kevin?

KATIE:
He walked away. Says over.

ANNIE:
Na. He didn‘t mean that.

KATIE:
I messed it all up like every other relationship I’ve had.

ANNIE:
Just leave it and talk to him in the morning.

KATIE:
Im going home.

Katie starts walking.
ANNIE:
Katie?

Katie walks away from Annie. Annie looks at Katie concerned.

ANNIE:
Katie come back!

CUT TO:

INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - LATE EVENING

Katie walks into her apartment and shuts the door. She walks over to the kitchen and puts her keys on the counter. She walks over to the living room. She throws herself onto the couch upset.

CUT TO:

INT. CHURCH - MORNING

Pippa is standing at the alter. Bryan is facing her. They are smiling at each other. The church is nearly full of people watching the ceremony. The priest is standing infront of them. 

BRYAN:
I do.

The priest looks at Pippa.

PRIEST(60):
And do you take this man to be your husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do you part?

PIPPA:
I do.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL - AFTERNOON

They are in the function room for Pippa and Bryan’s wedding. reception. Pippa is standing with her mother and sister. She hugs her mother. Annie and Bethany are stood together drinking champagne. Pippa walks over to Katie who is sitting at a table on her own with a plate of food from the buffet.

PIPPA:
Hey.

Katie looks up at Pippa. She smiles and stands up. She hugs Pippa.

KATIE:
I can’t tell you how beautiful you look.

PIPPA:
Aww thank you.

They let go and sit down at the table next to each other.

PIPPA:
So do you.

KATIE:
You’ve married a good one there Pippa.

Pippa looks over at Bryan smiling who is stood talking to a few of his friends with drinks in their hands. 

PIPPA:
I know.

Bryan looks over at her and smiles. She turns back to Katie.

PIPPA:
Have you called him again?

KATIE:
Yeah. No answer. I wouldn’t blame him if he never spoke to me again.

PIPPA:
Well I would. You made a drunken mistake.

KATIE:
I honestly thought I was kissing Kevin.

PIPPA:
I know. So tell him again, and again. You can’t give up on love Katie. You have to hunt him down and make him listen to you.

KATIE:
You’re right.

PIPPA:
Of course I am.

KATIE:
I gotta get him back. Pippa I’ll be back soon okay.

PIPPA:
Yeah, yeah.

Katie hugs Pippa. She lets go and stands up. 

PIPPA:
Go get him.

Katie smiles at her and walks away. Annie and Bethany see Katie walking.

ANNIE:
Hey were you going?!

Katie turns to them.

KATIE:
To get Kevin.

BETHANY:
We’ll have a few drinks waiting for you when you get back then!

Katie walks out of the room. Bethany turns to Annie.

BETHANY:
Shot?

Annie nods her head.

CUT TO:

EXT. MANHATTAN - AFTERNOON

Katie is in a taxi that is driving through the city. She is holding her phone to her ear. The phone dials. Kevin answers.

KEVIN:
This is the twelfth time you’ve called me.
KATIE:
You’ve been counting?

KEVIN:
I have nothing to say to you.

KATIE:
Well I have to you. Look im sorry okay. I didn’t know what I was doin?

KEVIN:
Being shit faced isn’t an excuse Katie.

KATIE:
I know. Listen im heading over to your office now.

KEVIN:
No.

KATIE:
What? What do you mean no?!

KEVIN:
You come here and I’ll tell security you’re a crazy stalker who might blow up the building okay. I mean it.

Kevin hangs up the phone. Katie looks at her phone.

KATIE:
What the…

Katie looks over at the cab driver.

KATIE:
Excuse me can you drive a little faster please?

The driver turns around to Katie.

DRIVER:
No problem.

He turns back and accelerates. Katie holds on tightly to her seatbelt.

CUT TO:

EXT. KEVIN’S WORK BUILDING - LATE AFTERNOON

The cab drives fastly to the building and pulls up outside the entrance. 

KATIE:
I think I feel sick.

The driver turns to her.

DRIVER:
That will be twelve bucks.

Katie pulls out a note from her purse that is in her handbag.

KATIE:
Here’s twenty. Keep it.

She gives him the note and opens the car door.

DRIVER:
Well thank you. And good luck.

KATIE:
Thanks.

She gets out of the car with her bag and shuts the door. The cab quickly drives away. She walks over to the building and looks up. She looks down and notices a group of cleaners on the ground ready to go up in a scaffold platform to clean the windows. 

KATIE:
Hello Window Lean.

She walks over to them.

CUT TO:

EXT. KEVIN’S WORK BUILDING - LATER

Katie is standing on the platform with the group of cleaners. The platform is moving up the face of the building. Katie is standing away from the rail scared.

KATIE:
I really appreciate this.

CLEANER 1(45):
No problem. You’re paying us remember.

CLEANER 2(35):
This guy must mean a lot for you to be doing this.

KATIE:
You have no idea.

CLEANER 3(30):
Maybe it would have been easier talkin to him on the phone.

CLEANER 2:
Way to state the obvious numb nuts she probably tried that already. You have haven’t you?

CUT TO:

INT/EXT. KEVIN’S WORK - LATER

Kevin is sitting at his desk in his office typing on his computer. A man walks into his office. The scaffold moves up outside Kevin’s office window.

MAN(50):
Kev can I…

The man looks at Katie and the cleaners. Kevin looks up at the man. Katie signals to the cleaners to stop the scaffold from moving. 

KEVIN:
What is it Stan?

Stan points to the window. Kevin looks over to the window. Katie and looks at Kevin. She waves to him. The cleaners wave to him as well.

KEVIN:
Jesus.

Kevin stands up. Katie and the cleaners put down their hands.

KEVIN:
What the hell are you doin?!

Kevin walks over to the window.

KATIE:
This is the only way I can make you lis…

KEVIN:
Hold on, I can’t hear you.

Kevin opens the window and leans out. A few people gather around Stan in Kevin’s office intrigued.

KATIE:
I said this is the only way I can make you listen to me. 

KEVIN:
Please tell me what you are doing 200 feet in the air outside my office.

CLEANER 1:
Isn’t it obvious. This charming broad has something to tell you.

Kevin looks at Katie.

KATIE:
Has this got your attention?

KEVIN:
You’re crazy.

KATIE:
I know, for you.

KEVIN:
That was cheesy as hell.

KATIE:
I know.

CLEANER 2:
Even I could have said somethin better than that.

KATIE:
Thank you.

CLEANER 3:
Tell him no one has made you orgasm more than him.

KATIE:
Hey!!

Cleaner 3 looks at Cleaner 2.

CLEANER 3:
Worth a shot.

KATIE:
I am up in this scaffold with these three guys 200 feet in the air despite being afraid of heights just to say how much you mean to me.

KEVIN:
Go on.

KATIE:
What?

KEVIN:
Tell me how much I mean to you.

KATIE:
Ohh. Right. Okay.

CLEANER 3:
(Coughs)Orgasm.

KATIE:
You are the nicest, most caring, affectionate man I’ve ever met. You make me feel so good about myself and I miss you when you’re not with me. I thought I blew it with you, but I can’t, I won’t. You mean the world to me and I love you. There. That’s more or less everything I have to say.

KEVIN:
You love me?

KATIE:
Yeah. I really do. Plus… nobody has made me orgasm as much as you.

Cleaner 3 nudges Cleaner 2 smiling cheekily.

KEVIN:
I love you too. 

KATIE:
Will you take me back.

KEVIN:
If you agree to move in with me.
KATIE:
I’d love to. Can I kiss you now?

KEVIN:
Yeah.

Katie leans in and kisses Kevin. The people in Kevin’s office clap. Cleaner 1 has a tear in his eye. Cleaner 2 and Cleaner 3 look at him. 

CLEANER 2:
Boss you cryin?

CLEANER 1:
It’s breezy up here.

Cleaner 1 wipes his eyes. Kevin and Katie stop kissing.

KATIE:
I’ve a wedding reception to get back to. Will you take me back?

KEVIN:
I’ll get my jacket.

CLEANER 1:
Can we clean the windows now?

CLEANER 3:
I can’t be bothered now. I wanna go to the reception.

Katie looks at the cleaners.

KATIE:
It would be alright if you did. It’s the least I can do.

Cleaner 2 and Cleaner 3 look at Cleaner 1.

CLEANER 2:
What do you say boss?

CLEANER:
Are you kiddin? Free sandwiches and champagne. Lets go.

KATIE:
I’ll take the elevator if you guys don’t mind. I might actually throw up.

Kevin helps Katie into his office through the window. The cleaners try to look up her skirt.

CUT TO:

INT. HOTEL - EARLY EVENING

Katie, Kevin and the cleaners rush into the reception. 

KATIE:
We’re back!

Pippa standing with Bryan looks over at Katie smiling.

KATIE:
And we brought company.

The song Give a Little by Hanson plays.

Katie looks at Kevin.

KATIE:
May I have this dance?

KEVIN:
Why yes you can.

Katie and Kevin walk over to the dance floor followed by Cleaner 2 and Cleaner 3. Pippa grabs Bryan’s hand.

PIPPA:
Come on hubby.

Pippa and Bryan walk over to the dance floor. Annie is standing with Bethany. Annie grabs Bethany’s hand.

ANNIE:
Lets go bitch.

They go over to the dance floor. Other guests walk over to the dance floor and start to dance. Katie and Pippa look at each other smiling. Annie and Bethany dance with Cleaner 2 and Cleaner 3. Cleaner 1 stands at the buffet table eating the food with a glass of champagne in his hand. Katie and Kevin dance closely to each other. Katie has her arms around Kevin’s shoulders.

KATIE:
I finally found you.

KEVIN:
Found me?

KATIE:
Yeah. The right guy.

KATIE(NARRATION):
So that’s it. My quest is over. After meeting a lot of weirdos and guys with emotional issues I found him. I wonder if he’d let me have his babies yet… maybe it’s little too early for that.

THE END

NOT YET

INT. ANNIE’S APARTMENT - EVENING

Katie and Pippa sit down on Annie’s couch in her living room. Pippa looks at Katie excited.

PIPPA:
And we went to the beach at Brighton, but it rained.

Annie walks over to the T.V that is stuck on the wall infront of them.

ANNIE:
It rains everyday in England Pip.

PIPPA:
Not everyday… most days.

ANNIE:
Still can’t believe you went to England on your honeymoon.

Annie leans forward and puts a DVD into the player.

KATIE:
I’d love to go to England.

PIPPA:
Oh you’d love it. I used to love going to Blackpool as a kid and ride on the Big One.

ANNIE:
I’d love to ride on the Big One.

Katie looks at Annie.
KATIE:
What are you doing Annie? I thought we were catchin up?

ANNIE:
We are.

Annie sits down in the middle of them and presses play on her remote.

ANNIE:
After a little entertainment.

The DVD plays. They look at the T.V.

ANNIE:
Remember Jamie said he got a job in the city?

KATIE:
Im tryin to forget him.

ANNIE:
This is the job the fuck stick got.

On the DVD a woman is lying on a double bed. Jamie walks into the room wearing a policeman’s uniform.

JAMIE:
Excuse me miss you asked for assistance?

The woman sits up.

WOMAN(30):
Yes I did. Someone shoved a banana up my pussy. You’ll have to get it out and arrest him.

JAMIE:
Don’t worry that’s my job.

Jamie walks over to her. Katie and Pippa watch the DVD with a shocked expression. Annie is smiling.

JAMIE:
Just sit back while I pull it out. Okay here I go.

ANNIE AND PIPPA:
Ohhh!  

They look at the screen disgusted. 

JAMIE:
Shit. It’s fuckin soakin. You’re gonna edit that part out aren’t ya?

DIRECTOR(45):
Just keep going.

Katie, Pippa and Annie laugh loudly.

KATIE:
What a success he’s make of himself.

PIPPA:
Waste of a banana.

ANNIE:
What a dick.

CUT TO:

ENDING CREDITS

 

92