This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
"THE BODY"
Written by: Matt Layden
INT. CAR - NIGHT
Two men sit in a car, both look very dirty, as if they just
got into a brawl. The man behind the wheel is GEORGE, the
man in the passenger seat is MARTIN. George is smoking a
cigarette, while Martin is looking out the window.
George looks over at Martin, then at his clothes. He
glances at the road slightly to see where he is going, then
his eyes go back to Martin.
GEORGE
Are those new clothes?
Martin looks in George's direction.
MARTIN
Yeah, so what?
George rolls his eyes and shakes his head, then takes a
drag from his cigarette. He takes a drag every so often
between his words.
GEORGE
How much money did you spend on
those?
Martin looks confused.
MARTIN
About $150 dollars I guess. Why,
what's the big deal?
GEORGE
Consider that money down the
shitter.
MARTIN
Why?
GEORGE
Cause we're burying a dead body
out here that's why. We're never
going to wear these clothes
again.
MARTIN
Well why the hell not?
GEORGE
I want to get rid of any
evidence.
You're wearing these clothes when
you buring that fat fuck back
there, so we're burning them.
MARTIN
Why don't I just wash them?
George looks at Martin as is he is stupid.
GEORGE
Don't you watch those CSI shows?
Shit man, they can find the
smallest speck of dirt in
anything, no matter how many
times you wash the mother fucker.
MARTIN
Well why the fuck didn't you tell
me before I bought these clothes?
GEORGE
Because I didn't think you were
shopping to look good for this
occasion.
MARTIN
Well fuck man, what about this
car?
GEORGE
What about the damn car?
MARTIN
Are you going to drive it off a
cliff?
GEORGE
No.
MARTIN
Well what the hell are you going
to do with it?
GEORGE
Wash it man.
MARTIN
What the fuck, why are you able
to wash your car, but I'm not
allowed to wash my clothes.
George acts as if he's explaining this to a child.
GEORGE
Listen, the body is just in my
trunk. It's not touch the whole
car.
You, you will be digging with
you're clothes on, you'll be
getting dirt everywhere. Hence,
the difference.
MARTIN
I don't see no fucking difference
GEORGE
Oh, there's a difference.
MARTIN
Well what if I don't wear the
clothes when I bury him?
GEORGE
What the fuck are you going to
wear? I ain't going to help you
burying a guy here if your naked.
Fuck that shit.
Martin sits in a snit and looks out the window for the rest
of the ride. He doesn't make any eye contact with George
for the rest of the way there.
MARTIN
Asshole.
GEORGE
Hey man, I'm not the one who has
to buy useless shit all the time.
Remember when you bought that
fucking Uma Thurman cardboard
stand out thing.
MARTIN
It was a steal.
GEORGE
It's fucking useless. What the
hell are you going to use it for?
MARTIN
It makes the apartment look
better.
GEORGE
Oh yes, nothing gets a woman
hotter then going to a grown
man's apartment and seeing a six
foot cardboard cut out of Uma
Thurman from Kill Bill standing
in the middle of the living room.
MARTIN
I'll wear my underwear?
George looks back at Martin.
GEORGE
What in the blue fuck are you
talking about?
MARTIN
When we bury the body...I'll wear
my underwear.
GEORGE
No, God no. You're wearing you're
fucking clothes okay.
MARTIN
This is fucking bullshit.
GEORGE
Will you get off the fucking
clothes shit! Jesus man, we're
here, now shut up with the
clothes, or I'll be burying two
dead bodies tonight instead of
one.
George parks the car and turns off the ignition. Martin
steps out of the passenger side and George gets out of the
driver's seat.
EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT
They both walk to the back of the car. George hands Martin
the keys.
GEORGE
Open it.
Martin looks at George.
MARTIN
Why the fuck do I have to open
it?
GEORGE
In case he's still alive an
lunges at us with some kind of
instrument of death.
MARTIN
Again, I pose the question, why
do I have to open it. It's you're
damn car.
GEORGE
You killed the fucking guy.
MARTIN
You shot the god damn arrow and
threw the bow at me.
GEORGE
Will you just open the damn
trunk.
Martin goes to the back seat of the car and pulls out a
baseball bat. He hands it over to George.
MARTIN
Here, if the guy is still alive,
hit him over the head, okay?
GEORGE
No problem.
MARTIN
Okay, are you ready?
GEORGE
Yea, open it.
Martin puts the keys in the slot and turns, we wear it
unlock. Martin opens the trunk and then hides underneath
the bumper. George screams out a warrior cry as he raises
the baseball bat in the air, until he looks inside.
GEORGE
Martin...
MARTIN (O.S.)
Yes...
GEORGE
Where's the body?
Martin gets up from behind the bumper and looks inside the
trunk.
MARTIN
Where the fuck is the body?
GEORGE
Oh shit, it's night of the living
dead. He's a fucking zombie man,
he's going to eat your brain.
MARTIN
It's not night of the living
dead, you dumb fuck. You forgot
the fucking body.
GEORGE
I didn't forget the fucking body,
you forgot the fucking body.
MARTIN
How was it me who forgot the
fucking body.
GEORGE
Cause I was the guy who shot him
with the arrow, I killed him,
then you were suppose to put the
body in the trunk.
MARTIN
Oh, so now you shot him, not five
minutes ago, it was me.
GEORGE
Get in the car, we're getting the
body.
20 minutes later:
George is driving with Martin in the passenger seat again.
This time, not only do they have dirt on them, but now they
have blood.
MARTIN
Are we sure we have the body this
time?
GEORGE
Very funny, go pop your head in
the trunk and check.
Martin looks around the outside of the car, he looks
confused.
MARTIN
This isn't the same way back.
GEORGE
What do you mean.
MARTIN
I mean it took us ten minutes to
get there and now we don't know
where the fuck we are.
GEORGE
I know exactly where the fuck we
are okay, I'm a professional.
MARTIN
A professional? Professional at
what?
GEORGE
Don't worry about that, keep your
mind on the task at hand, digging
the guys plot.
MARTIN
Listen man, about that. Can we
dig somewhere else, I don't like
the cemetery. It creeps me out
man.
Martin notices something out the window and grabs a hold of
George.
GEORGE
What is it.
MARTIN
Stop the car.
George slams on the breaks. Martin is still looking out the
window.
GEORGE
You've got to be fucking kidding
me.
MARTIN
We can burying him here man, it's
perfect. No one will ever suspect
it.
GEORGE
Fine, get the shovels, I just
want to get this over with.
CUT TO:
EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - NIGHT
They both open the trunka and look in it.
GEORGE
Well, he's here this time.
MARTIN
Cute, grab the feet, I'll get the
head.
George stops Martin
GEORGE
Wait, I got a better idea.
CUT TO:
EXT. PLAYGROUND - NIGHT
George walks into the frame carrying two shovels smoking a
cigarette. Moments later we see Martin with the body slung
over his shoulders. The body has at least a dozen arrows in
his body. Martin is obviously having a hard time carrying
the body to the ideal location. He stumbles all over the
place.
MARTIN
Asshole.
CUT TO:
EXT. JUNGLE GYM - NIGHT.
George begins to dig, while Martin finally catches up and
throws the body on the ground.
MARTIN
Holy shit that fucker is heavy.
GEORGE
Yeah, well, grab a shovel he-man.
We need to dig and get this body
in the ground, then put the dirt
over him again, before sunrise.
MARTIN
Jungle gym eh? What if some kind
decides to dig here and discovers
this guy.
GEORGE
Won't happen.
Martin doesn't look convinced.
MARTIN
Well, how do you know this one.
GEORGE
Shut up and shovel, or I swear to
god...I will shovel you in the
face.
MARTIN
No you won't, cause then I'd be
out cold and you'd have to dig
this big fucking hole all by
yourself.
GEORGE
It will be worth it when I throw
your ass in there.
MARTIN
I'm digging, I'm digging.
45 minutes later:
George is sitting on the jungle gym smoking a cigarette.
Martin is laying on the ground looking up at the stars.
GEORGE
Who knew digging a hole would be
so tough.
MARTIN
Break over yet?
GEORGE
Breaks over.
45 minutes later:
George climbs out of the whole. Martin is still inside.
MARTIN
Do you think it's deep enough?
GEORGE
If we dig any deeper we'll be
eating rice.
George walks over to the body.
MARTIN
All right, help me up.
George does not answer.
MARTIN
George...George, help me out man.
Still George does not answer.
MARTIN
GEORGE!!!
The body comes tumbling into the hole, almost crushing
Martin. We see George peek his head over the edge.
GEORGE
Heads up.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR - DAWN
George is driving, smoking on yet another cigarette, while
Martin is sleeping in the passenger seat next to him.
George looks over at Martin, as he speaks, he wakes Martin
up.
GEORGE
Hey buddy.
Martin wakes up to George's voice.
MARTIN
Yeah?
George looks at Martin and smiles.
GEORGE
We should do this again sometime.
THE END
Return to SimplyScripts.com