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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express 
written permission of the author.

NINJAS TOOK MY GIRL AND NOW I'M MAD 
a film by B.J. Smith 
 
 
 
 
SCENE 1: 
INT- Darkly Lit room, with just a hint of light on the main character's 
face. Character speaks in the style to old karate movies, full of 
vengeance and revenge. 
 
 
YOUNG MAN 
Ninja's took my girl… 
 
 
EXT- Suburban Neighborhood. Day. 
FLASHBACK: Action scene showing three ninjas breaking into a suburban 
house. One decides to climb on the roof and come through the chimney. 
 
INT- Inside the young man's house. Typical suburban house. 
FLASHBACK: Ninja slowly comes down from the chimney with a katana. He 
slowly sneaks behind the couple, talking at the dinner table. The young 
man looks behind… 
 
 
YOUNG MAN 
HUH? 
 
 
FLASHBACK: The ninja swings the sword and slices through the young 
man's stomach. The girl screams and runs. The ninja follows swiftly 
behind. The girl takes various household objects and throws them to 
defend herself. She runs through the house and out the front door to 
the two awaiting ninjas. They cover her mouth and throw her in a car 
that quickly pulls up beside them. The chimney ninja jumps in the car 
and they speed off.  
 
 
YOUNG MAN 
(groggy, obviously hurt) …the cuts not that deep…  
 
 
The young man slowly gets up, bleeding from his stomach due to the 
katana cut. He lifts his shirt, grabs a roll of duct tape, and bandages 
himself. He then goes into his bedroom closet, looks around for a 
second, and grabs a sword. END FLASHBACK. 
 
INT- Back in the young man's house, darkly lit room. 
 
 
YOUNG MAN 
…and now I'm mad. 
 
 
EXT- The young man walks out of his house and into his car, carrying a 
sheathed sword. He drives away, opening credits roll and then a 
voiceover ensues. 
 
OPENING CREDITS ROLL 
 
 
 
SCENE 2: 
 
 
YOUNG MAN (V.O.) 
My name is Bob. Ninja's just took my girl. Trust me, I'm mad. Where 
they took her, I have no idea. I don't even know where to begin. It 
just all happened so suddenly. I do know one thing though, I WILL GET 
HER BACK! With just my sword and my determination, I am headed to my 
cousin Seth's house. Maybe he can help somehow. 
 
 
INT- Seth's House, in the same neighborhood as Bob's house. Day. 
The house is very dirty, looking like a tornado just came through his 
living room.  
 
 
BOB 
(rings doorbell, Seth answers) Ninja's took my girl. 
 
SETH 
(takes a hit off his bong) NO WAY DUDE! 
 
BOB 
Yep. 
 
SETH 
Come in. 
 
 
Bob and Seth walk in the house and head right for the bookcase.  
 
 
SETH 
So man, tell me what happened. 
 
BOB 
Mary and I were just at our dining table talking. Then all of a sudden, 
this ninja creeps up behind us and guts me, then goes after Mary.  
 
SETH 
Guts you? 
 
BOB 
(pulls up shirt and removes duct tape) Yep, guts me. 
 
SETH 
WHOA DUDE! You got a huge cut around your stomach. 
 
BOB 
Yeah, I noticed. 
 
SETH 
Well, I'm no doctor but I think you should get yourself to the 
hospital. 
 
BOB 
There's no time. The tape's gonna have to do for now. 
 
SETH 
Suit yourself. Well, I did manage to come across this book on one of my 
expeditions in Northwestern Pennsylvania. (Seth pulls out an old, 
beaten up book with the word "Ninja" written across it.) 
 
BOB 
What's it say? 
 
SETH 
Well, it's written in an old ancient Japanese tongue, know only by a 
few archeologists in the entire world. Luckily, I'm one of them. (Opens 
up to a random page which just happens to tell about what could have 
happened to Mary.) Here it is. It says "Cun nacht ju yre keds xen quo 
lista por isna buto." 
 
BOB 
What's that mean? 
 
SETH 
Roughly translated, it says "Every millennia, a suburban sacrifice 
shall be given unto the gods in return for the blessings of livestock, 
family prosperity, and the blessing of skill. This sacrifice shall be 
given on the fourth full moon, in the hour of which darkness roams the 
west. The sacrifice shall be that of a female with flowing hair as 
golden as the sunrise, and as beautiful as the morning skies. The 
sacrifice shall be bled through the wrists onto the statue of the god 
of war, until all life is extinguished." 
 
BOB 
When is the fourth full moon? 
 
SETH 
(looking at the calendar) It's gonna happen in one month, at midnight. 
 
BOB 
Exactly one month? 
 
SETH 
Yep. And it says something else here. "The sacrifice will start between 
the deepest darkness, and one quarter of the hour. If not started by 
then, fire shall reign." 
 
BOB 
So there's a 15 minute leeway? 
 
SETH 
That's what I take from it. But what about the fire part? 
 
BOB 
I don't care. Where can I find her? 
 
SETH 
I dunno. I have heard about this small ninja enclave in Northwestern 
Pennsylvania. It's out in the far reaches of the country. 
 
BOB 
Then I must be off. I gotta save Mary before they even have the chance 
to harm her. 
 
SETH 
Then I bid you godspeed in your endeavor. I leave you with these 
parting gifts. (Hands Bob a leaf and a small swiss army knife.) 
 
BOB 
What are these for? 
 
SETH 
(takes a hit off the bong) The leaf is from a rare plant found on the 
highest peaks of the Appalachians. It is said to cure blade cuts and 
heal them dramatically faster than by normal means. You better use that 
on your stomach. The Swiss army knife if special. It was blessed by an 
Alaskan Eskimo shaman. That's the extent of what I know about it. No 
doubt you'll find some use for it in the last minutes of your 
adventure. 
 
BOB 
I thank you Seth, you are a true friend. I must be off. (Speedily runs 
out the door and into the car.) 
 
 
SCENE 3: 
EXT- Various frames of Bob driving through the country side, while 
talks about the start of his adventure through voice over. 
 
 
BOB (V.O.) 
With the advice of Seth, I headed Northwest for the ninja enclave. 
Three days of driving aimlessly, and twelve days on foot, again, 
wandering aimlessly. Why on foot? Somewhere in the countryside, about 
an hour away from my starting point, my car got stolen while I was 
using a restroom in a gas station. Fifteen days past, still nothing. I 
build small campfires, kill animals, fish-occasionally I come across a 
small convenience store, whatever means I have to live. It's rough, but 
my love for Mary keeps me going on. 
 
 
EXT- Bob walks through the countryside, with endless fields and one 
road. He has a sword strapped to his back, and he's walking along 
eating beef jerky. All of a sudden, out of bushes on both sides of Bob, 
ninja's attack.  
 
 
BOB 
HUH?!? 
 
The two ninja's circle around Bob while he tries to watch both of them 
at the same time. He has one hand on the hilt of his sword and looks 
nervous, ready for someone to make the first move. All of a sudden, he 
drops his beef jerky on the ground. He starts to kneel down on the 
ground to pick it up, and gently lays his sword on the ground in a sign 
of peace. He fully kneels down with on hand on the jerky, and his eyes 
never leaving the ninja in front of him. With his free hand, he 
suddenly pulls a knife from his sock and whips it at the ninja in front 
of him. Almost instantly, he rolls around while picking up his sword 
and slicing the ninja behind him across the gut. He stands up and looks 
relieved. 
 
 
BOB 
Too close… (sniffs the air)…I'm smell more ninja! 
 
 
All of a sudden, five ninja's jump out from various locations and come 
at Bob. Bob speedily tries to fend off the ninja's. They circle him 
attacking. He fights valiantly, killing two of them. However, he gets 
stabbed in the shoulder, and various slices to the body. Out of 
nowhere, a ninja gasps, and falls down face first on the ground. He has 
a knife stuck in his back. Bob and the ninja's look confused. The 
camera shows a real wide shot, with an unrecognizable person jumping 
down from a tree in the distance. In a real rebel way, he slowly walks 
towards the fight. Both ninja's run after him, while Bob stands in 
utter awe of what's going on. One ninja reaches the unnamed man. The 
man quickly pulls a machete from his cloak, and slices the ninja 
several times. The other ninja, seeing what happened, quickly runs the 
other direction right into the sword of Bob. Bob stands still until the 
unnamed man comes close to him. He is dressed in a hooded cloak, with 
the hood covering his eyes. He pulls the hood off of his head, in a 
real "Jedi" way. He speaks… 
 
 
UNNAMED MAN 
I am called Wantuga. I am formerly of the Northwest Pennsylvanian 
Alliance of Suburban American Ninjas or N.P.A.S.A.N. for short. I was a 
rogue assassin in the organization, until they planned to assassinate 
me for an operation gone awry. I never returned to the facility and I 
vowed revenge on my former acquaintances. That's when I found you. 
N.P.A.S.A.N. kidnapped your girlfriend for the millennial sacrifice, 
and I'm here to help you get her back. I pledge my machete to you and 
your cause (kneels down on one knee and bows his head in approval). 
 
BOB 
NPASAN? You know how to get there? 
 
WANTUGA 
Yes. 
 
BOB 
Then lets go, I got a girl to save. 
 
WANTUGA 
It's not that easy. We are heavily outnumbered. The enclave is filled 
with ninjas, and it would be pure suicide to go in with just the two of 
us. 
 
BOB 
What do you suggest? 
 
WANTUGA 
We need allies.  
 
BOB 
Where could we possibly find anyone to help us. 
 
WANTUGA  
There is a town, about 30 miles east of here. We may be able to find 
someone there. 
 
BOB 
That's two days out of the way! We can't waste time on that, Mary's in 
more and more danger the longer we leave her there. 
 
WANTUGA 
They will not harm her until the fourth full moon, 15 days from now. 
They cannot afford to harm the sacrifice in any way, she must be pure.  
 
BOB 
You sure she'll be ok? 
 
WANTUGA 
By finding allies, we are saving both us and her. 
 
BOB 
Then lets go. 
 
WANTUGA 
We should set up camp in the woods for the night, it's getting late and 
the ninja's will be scowling the streets looking for us. 
 
BOB 
Good idea, we'll start the journey east tomorrow. 
 
 
 
SCENE 4: 
EXT- Outside, Bob and Wantuga walk along a dirt path, bound for the 
little town. 
 
 
BOB 
NPASAN huh? Who would've ever thought there would be ninja's in 
Pennsylvania?  
 
WANTUGA 
… 
 
BOB 
Don't talk much, do ya? 
 
WANTUGA 
Not when I have nothing to say. 
 
BOB 
Tell me why you were kicked out of NPASAN. 
 
WANTUGA 
I was on a mission to take out a very important Pennsylvanian political 
figure. 
 
BOB 
Who was it? 
 
WANTUGA 
I think it would be best if I did not give a reply to that question. 
 
BOB 
Ok? Why were you sent to kill him? 
 
WANTUGA 
He had somewhat of a background in the Amish culture. 
 
BOB 
So? 
 
WANTUGA 
NPASAN has had an ongoing war with the Amish for many, many millennia; 
the reason of which is long forgotten. 
 
BOB 
Not only are there a secret enclave of ninja's in Pennsylvania, but 
they are feuding with the Amish? This is so surreal. 
 
WANTUGA 
It is best not to think about, just keep your mind on the primary 
objective. 
 
BOB 
Mary. I will kill every one of them for what they've done. 
 
 
INT- Undisclosed location, soon apparent to be the enclave of NPASAN. 
Mary is pent up in a cage, with shackles attached at her hands and 
feet. They give her just enough slack to walk a few feet. One ninja 
comes up to the cage a opens the door. He sets a plate of food at her 
feet and starts to leave. 
 
MARY 
Where am I? 
 
NINJA 
(looks back at her and turns to leave again.) 
 
MARY  
Wait! What's going on? 
 
NINJA 
(walks out of the cage and shuts the door.) 
 
MARY 
(starts to cry and angrily pulls at the shackles.) 
 
NINJA 
(looks back) You're at our base. (turns around and walks out of the 
room.) 
 
MARY 
(screaming) What did you do with Bob!? Is he alive!? Why me!?!? 
 
 
EXT- We rejoin Bob and Wantuga walking down the dirt path. There is a 
long pause of silence while they walk until… 
 
 
BOB 
So why couldn't you kill him? 
 
WANTUGA 
I saw him with his family one night. Through their window, I could see 
him, his wife, and his kids eating dinner. I had originally come to 
kill him, but I couldn't after that. Killing someone over their 
background, it's just not right. No one can even remember the reason 
for this feud with the Amish. Morality hit me, and it just kind of 
seemed pointless to kill somebody for no reason. Especially someone of 
importance.  
 
BOB 
So NPASAN came after you after you refused to kill him? 
 
WANTUGA 
I knew what my fate would be if I chose not to follow orders, but I 
couldn't kill this man. So I panicked, and ran. When word got out that 
I'd failed my mission, Novakowski sent countless men after me. They 
were all over the place, and I was forced to kill many of my former 
allies before I came upon you. 
 
BOB 
Who's Novakowski? 
 
WANTUGA 
He's is the elder of NPASAN. He currently controls the entire enclave 
in Pennsylvania, the man responsible for everything that NPASAN does; 
including kidnapping Mary. Novakowski has been planning this out for 
many years. 
 
BOB 
You mean…he's been scouting Mary for…years? 
 
WANTUGA 
Precisely…he knew who the sacrifice would be years in advance, even 
before you met Mary. 
 
BOB 
Novakowski will die! 
 
WANTUGA 
Yes, but first we get help. 
 
 
Bob and Wantuga walk along the path for several moments without 
speaking. While Bob is walking, he pulls up his shirt and removes the 
duct tape and leaf from his stomach. Surprisingly, there is no more 
cut, not even so much as a scar. He places the leaf in his pocket. 
 
 
BOB 
Wow. 
 
WANTUGA 
What? 
 
BOB 
Nothing. 
 
 
Wantuga stops suddenly, and holds out his arm stopping Bob in his 
tracks. Wantuga slowly reaches his hand down towards his machete, and 
quickly throws in at a bush. A ninja falls out, impaled by the weapon. 
Wantuga walks over and grabs his weapon, and says… 
 
 
WANTUGA 
Come, we must make haste. There'll be a whole fleet of them after us 
soon. 
 
 
SCENE 5: 
EXT- A small town. 
Camera fades out and fades back in on Bob and Wantuga standing in front 
of a sign that says, "Welcome to Kovachland: Land of Much Wheat."  
 
 
BOB 
This is a small farming town, we aren't going to find fighters here. 
 
WANTUGA 
Fighting comes from the heart, not from physicality. 
 
BOB 
Well, what now? How do you expect people to believe us…and even if they 
did, why would they put their lives in danger for us? 
 
WANTUGA 
The fighter will come to us, the gods will send him. Until then, we 
rest. 
 
BOB 
(aggravated) NO! I'm so tired of sleeping! That's all you ever do, I 
wanna go get Mary and I wanna get her now! She's in danger every second 
we leave her there, and I'm not about to abandon her…I'll never do it. 
So, forget about this little search of yours, I'm leaving; with or 
without you. Thanks for the help, but I can do it by myself. 
 
WANTUGA 
Strike me! 
 
BOB 
WHAT!? 
 
WANTUGA 
No more talk…let's see what you got. Draw your sword. 
 
BOB 
Fine… 
 
 
Bob looks down casually and quickly draws his sword and swings at 
Wantuga. Wantuga blocks the swing with his machete. Bob continues to 
try to strike Wantuga down with his sword, but every attempt is 
thwarted. This goes on for about a minute of non-stop swinging, then 
Wantuga blocks Bob's sword and slices his calve muscle. Bob instantly 
falls on the ground. 
 
 
WANTUGA 
How do you expect to take out an enclave of ninjas when you can't take 
out one? We rest. 
 
BOB 
You cut my leg!!! 
 
WANTUGA 
(walking away)…use your leaf… 
 
 
Wantuga walks away towards an inn while Bob patches his leg up with his 
leaf and duct tape. He slowly gets up and follows Wantuga. The camera 
leaves the two and focuses on a man peeking from behind a corner. Not 
much of the man is seen except a single eye patch over one eye. 
 
 
SCENE 6: 
INT- A small cozy inn. 
Bob wakes up from bed and Wantuga is already awake. Wantuga is standing 
in front of a window looking out. 
 
BOB 
…about yesterday… 
 
 
WANTUGA 
No apologies. What's done is done. 
 
BOB 
Well, I kinda lost it.  
 
WANTUGA 
Save it for after our mission. 
 
BOB 
Where did you learn to fight like that? 
 
WANTUGA 
I had a good teacher. 
 
BOB 
Did he get you into NPASAN? 
 
WANTUGA 
His name was Szelcani. He trained me long before either of us joined 
the order. 
 
BOB 
Was he an elder? 
 
WANTUGA 
You mean in the order? Yes. But he is dead now and Novakowski runs the 
show. 
 
BOB 
How'd he die? 
 
WANTUGA 
Come, we must continue our search. 
 
 
Bob and Wantuga walk out of the inn after getting ready for the day. 
They are abruptly interrupted by a verbal fight going on to the right 
of them. The camera sweeps from Bob and Wantuga to their right. Two men 
are engaged in an argument. Farmer #1 is dressed in normal farming 
gear, holding a rifle to the second farmer. Farmer #2 is dressed in 
normal farming garb, except he has a shovel and a pitchfork criss-
crossed strapped to his back. 
 
 
EXT- The farming town of Kovachland. 
 
 
FARMER #1 
(shouting) You killed my cow! 
 
FARMER #2 
I didn't touch your cow. Now calm down before you do something you'll 
regret. 
 
FARMER #1 
The only thing I'd regret is letting you get away unscathed. 
 
 
Quietly, another farmer sneaks up behind farmer #2 with a shovel. The 
intentions for the shovel become quickly apparent. The sneak-farmer 
raises the shovel and forcefully swings. Farmer #2 quickly pulls out 
his shovel, which is holstered behind his back, and knocks the rifle 
out of farmer #1's hands, while almost instantly turning around and 
blocking the sneak-farmer's shovel. After the blow is blocked, farmer 
#2 kicks the sneak-farmer in the gut and uppercut's him with his 
shovel. He turns around to see farmer #1 running towards him. Farmer #2 
gives a swift quick knocking farmer #1 into the wall of a barn house. 
Farmer #2 quickly pulls out a little potting shovel and whips it at 
farmer #1. The shovel sticks in the wall right beside farmer #1's face. 
Farmer #1 passes out from shock. Farmer #2 walks towards our traveling 
heroes. 
 
 
BOB 
Where did you learn to do that? 
 
FARMER #2 
Do what? 
 
WANTUGA 
It is apparent you skills far surpass that of a normal farmer. 
 
FARMER #2 
Well, ya know, gotta learn to protect yourself and your livestock. 
 
BOB 
Yes, but that seems like overkill. 
 
FARMER #2 
Well, better safe than sorry. The name's Ezekiel. You can call me Zee. 
 
WANTUGA 
Zee, we're on a mission that would greatly benefit from you skills. 
(raises arm towards the inn) Would you mind if we had a talk? 
 
ZEE 
Sure, I'm always looking for some action.  
 
 
Zee walks towards the inn. Bob and Wantuga lag behind 
BOB 
What luck. 
 
WANTUGA 
The gods smile upon our mission. 
 
 
SCENE 7: 
INT- Bob and Wantuga's room in the inn. 
 
 
ZEE 
So N.P.A.S.A.N. is planning to kill your girlfriend (points to Bob), 
and they are out to kill you (points to Wantuga).  
 
BOB 
Precisely. Listen, I know this seems weird, and trust me, we feel the 
same way, but if you could just help us through it… 
 
ZEE 
(interrupting Bob) I'm in. 
 
WANTUGA 
(surprised) You are? 
 
ZEE 
I'm Amish. 
 
BOB 
(piecing it together) OH! 
 
ZEE  
They killed my family, my livestock, burned my house. I had to leave it 
all behind and start a new life here. 
 
WANTUGA 
…which explains your fighting abilities. 
 
ZEE 
I will fight with you Bob and Wantuga, till the death-one last stance, 
in honor of my fallen family. 
 
BOB 
One last stance? 
 
ZEE 
I've crusaded in the past against N.P.A.S.A.N. Failing every time. 
Luckily, I survived, whereas my crusaders did not. 
 
BOB 
This one will not fail.  
 
ZEE 
So, what's the plan? 
 
WANTUGA 
We will worry about that when we arrive at the enclave. We must rest 
before we continue our journey. 
 
BOB 
WE JUST WOKE UP!!!!!


SCENE 8: 
INT- A dark cell holding Mary, somewhere within the ninja enclave. 
Mary is backed into a dark corner, in the fetal position when a ninja 
arrives. 
 
 
NINJA 
Here, food. 
 
MARY 
…who are you? 
 
NINJA 
I can't be seen talking to you. 
 
MARY 
(starts to cry) please…tell me what's going on… 
 
NINJA 
(seconds of silence) My name is Pitzer. I am one of your captors. 
 
MARY 
Why? Why did you take me away from my life? 
 
PITZER 
I really cannot be talking to you. 
(starts to walk away, stops when he hears Mary sobbing) 
You were chosen. 
 
MARY 
Chosen for what? 
 
PITZER 
You are a sacrifice. A sacrifice to the god of war, our god Iomen. 
 
MARY 
You're…going to kill…me? 
 
PITZER 
There is no other way. 
 
MARY 
Why me? 
 
PITZER 
You were chosen. Chosen from birth. The day of your birth, Iomen showed 
Novakowski the sacrifice, you. 
 
MARY 
Novakowski? Why me? What did you do with Bob? Why must there be a 
sacrifice? Why? Tell me! Why me?! 
 
PITZER 
Novakowski is the elder. He is the inherent leader of our ninja order; 
NPASAN, or the Northwest Pennsylvanian Alliance of Suburban American 
Ninjas. There must be a sacrifice every thousand years in exchange for 
blessings. More importantly, there must be a sacrifice to preserve our 
way of life. Should there not be, Iomen would strike down upon us with 
great vengeance and furious anger. Why you? The only answer I can give 
is that you were chosen by Iomen. According to the ancient text, you 
match the description. "The sacrifice shall be that of a female with 
flowing hair as golden as the sunrise, and as beautiful as the morning 
skies." As of Bob, I know no such person. I must go, I've already said 
too much. (walks away, leaving Mary in her cage pondering the things 
he's said) 
 
 
INT- Outside of Mary's holding cell. Darkly lit. 
Pitzer walks out, puts his back to the wall and sighs. Another ninja 
enters. 
 
 
RANDOM NINJA 
Something wrong Pitzer? 
 
PITZER 
Huh? Oh, nothing. 
 
 
RANDOM NINJA 
Don't be getting too attached to the girl. You know what must be done. 
 
PITZER 
I'm well aware of my duties. 
 
 
SCENE 9: 
EXT- The town of Kovachland. 
Bob, Wantuga, and their new ally Zee are walking purposefully out of 
the town. Suddenly, a man dressed as a pirate walks out in front of 
them. It becomes obvious that this is the same man who was watching Bob 
and Wantuga fight. He has an eyepatch, and a hook for a hand. He 
carries a dagger on his side. 
 
 
WANTUGA 
Who are you? Why do you stop us? 
 
PIRATE 
… 
 
BOB 
Speak! 
 
PIRATE 
… 
 
BOB 
If you're not going to talk, get out of our way. 
(Bob starts to walk and is abruptly stopped by the pirate) 
What is your problem! 
 
 
The pirate draws his dagger. Bob stands in amazement and draws his 
sword. Wantuga and Zee get ready to fight, but Bob nods them off. The 
pirate quickly attacks Bob. He swings with the dagger in one hand and 
his hook in the other. His attacks are furiously quick, however every 
swing is blocked by Bob. After a minute or two of fighting, the pirate 
backs off. He stands still and seemingly gives a nod of approval. He 
steps out of the way of the gang. Bob, Wantuga, and Zee walk off with 
the pirate in toe. 
 
 
BOB 
Why are you following us? 
 
PIRATE 
… 
 
ZEE 
I don't reckon he talks much. 
 
WANTUGA 
Are you going to accompany us on our journey? 
 
PIRATE 
Arg. 
 
BOB 
He speaks!  
 
ZEE  
Not much… 
 
WANTUGA 
You want to come with us? Are you aware of the dangers undertaken with 
this mission. 
 
PIRATE 
(approvingly) Arg. 
 
BOB 
Works for me, he proved himself back in town.  
 
ZEE 
What's your name? 
 
PIRATE 
… 
 
ZEE 
Ok, how bout we call you…Pirate. 
 
PIRATE 
Arg. 
 
WANTUGA 
Good, that's settled then. 
 
ZEE 
Speaking of fighting skills, we know where mine came from, and 
Wantuga's skill is obvious, what about you? 
 
BOB 
Me? 
ZEE 
Yep. 
 
BOB 
Let's just say that I've had a fascination with weaponry and combat 
from an early age. I was always that goofy kid who hung out in the 
woods all day playing with the sword that my parents didn't know I had, 
because I wasn't allowed to have one. I guess now all the playing 
around is paying off. 
 
WANTUGA 
Indeed. 
 
 
SCENE 10: 
INT- Flashback: The house where the movie started, Bob's house. 
No sound is heard while the scene is going on. Bob brings Mary, who is 
sitting at the same kitchen table as when she was attacked, what 
appears to be a birthday cake. Candles are lit on top, and Mary becomes 
very happy. She has a big smile on her face, jumps up and kisses Bob. 
He leaves the room again and returns a few seconds later with a puppy 
with a bow tied around it's neck. Both Bob and Mary are smiling and 
laughing, a real Kodak moment. All of a sudden, Bob wakes up to a 
campfire lit, and the rest of his gang asleep. 
 
EXT- A campfire out in the countryside, middle of the night. 
 
 
BOB 
I'm coming Mary, just hold on…for me. 
 
 
Camera fades out and then back in to daylight, early morning; Wantuga, 
Zee, and Pirate are just waking up. They find Bob out sitting in the 
distance underneath a tree. They go talk to him. 
 
 
WANTUGA 
Are you ok? 
 
BOB 
Huh? Oh yeah, I was just thinking about Mary. 
 
WANTUGA 
You know we're going to get her back, right?  
 
BOB 
I hope so. 
 
WANTUGA 
We will. We won't fail, we can't fail. 
 
BOB 
I just can't believe I was weak enough to let them get away with her. 
Surely there was something more I could've done, something to help her. 
If something happens to her, I'll never forgive myself…or the monsters 
that took her. 
 
ZEE 
What is she like? 
 
BOB 
Mary? Well, the nicest person I've ever met. Anyone who would just meet 
her could tell that she was the real deal. She cared about things, 
about people. Mary was the kind of person who would give the shirt off 
of her back to a total stranger if she though it could help them. Heck, 
she was gorgeous to boot too. She loved me, and I loved her. (seconds 
pass) I still do. Listen to me talking like she's already lost; it's 
just that…until I see her again, I am forever stuck in that moment, 
when she was taken. 
 
ZEE 
Like I said back in town, I will fight to the end with you. For my 
family…and for Mary. (grabs hold of Bob's hand with both of his) TO THE 
END. 
 
WANTUGA 
As will I. For retribution…and for Mary. 
 
PIRATE 
(nodding in approval) Arg… 
 
BOB 
(looks around at his friends, smiles) So will I. For revenge, but most 
of all…for Mary. Let's pack up and go kill us some ninjas. 
 
PIRATE 
(smiling) ARGGG! 
 
BOB 
Wantuga…lead the way! 
 
 
SCENE 11: 
INT- Darkly lit room; Mary's holding cell. 
 
 
PITZER 
Here, more food. 
 
MARY 
Pitzer… 
 
PITZER 
(starts to walk out, pauses, then answers her)…Yes? 
 
MARY 
I'm going to die? 
 
PITZER 
It has to be that way. 
 
MARY 
When? 
 
PITZER 
In three days. The "Book of Ninja" prophesized it as such. 
 
MARY 
(slowly breaking down crying)…help…me…please… 
 
 
Pitzer just looks at Mary sympathetically and walks out slowly. About 
two or three minutes pass and Pitzer comes back into the cell. 
 
 
PITZER 
We have three days until the millennial sacrifice. I'm going to get you 
out of here. 
 
MARY 
(slowly lifts her sopping face to look at Pitzer) Huh? 
 
PITZER 
We can't do it now; security is too tight. One hour before the 
sacrifice…that's when it has to be. 
 
MARY 
Why? 
 
PITZER 
Every ninja in this enclave will be gathered around the sacrifical 
alter. 
 
MARY 
No, why are you helping me? 
 
 
PITZER 
I don't know. Maybe I knew you in a past life, maybe I'm getting soft. 
It shouldn't have to be this way. You're innocent; from the very 
beginning. You don't deserve this. No one does.  
 
MARY 
Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll never be able to repay you… 
 
PITZER 
Let's just call it redemption. I've done some bad things, and I do 
believe you were sent for a reason. I can't help but feel that you WERE 
chose by Iomen; but for a different reason. Maybe you were sent to be 
my saving grace, my redemption. Maybe Iomen is a god of goodness, not 
war and destruction. 
 
MARY 
…but the ancient text… 
 
PITZER 
Who knows? Maybe it's not real. Maybe it is. I mean, none of us were 
around for the last sacrifice. The ways have just been taught for 
centuries upon centuries. Maybe the prophecies were fabricated. If not, 
then I'll suffer the consequences. I just can't allow this to happen. 
Either way, by saving you, you are saving me. I'll be back to feed you 
as normal. Don't act any differently. On the last meal of the last day, 
we escape.  
 
 
With that, Pitzer walks out of the cell. However, from the shadows 
emerges a ninja, the same ninja who warned Pitzer to not get too close 
to Mary. 
 
 
SCENE 12: 
EXT- We rejoin the gang as they are walking down a beaten path 
surrounded by woods. 
 
 
ZEE 
My son Hayden and my wife Casey Jo, well they were the two most 
beautiful people this side of the country. 
 
WANTUGA 
How old was your son? 
 
ZEE 
I reckon he wasn't must older than four and a half at the time of his 
death. 
 
BOB 
Four and a half? Ha, that's how long exactly Mary and I were dating. In 
years-until she was abducted. 
 
WANTUGA 
That's how long I was a member of N.P.A.S.A.N. Four and a half years of 
hell. 
 
PIRATE 
(holds up four fingers) Arg. 
 
BOB 
Coincidence? 
 
WANTUGA 
I think not. It was fate, or some god that brought us together. 
 
ZEE 
Some god? 
 
WANTUGA 
I think that Varolia smiles down upon our undertaking. This is a sign. 
 
BOB 
Varolia? 
 
WANTUGA 
God of voyage and prosperity. The enclave taught against this god, 
proclaiming that she did not exist, simply because it went against the 
teachings of Iomen. 
 
ZEE 
The bad god? 
 
BOB 
Precisely. 
 
WANTUGA 
For the first time, I'm starting to feel some semblance of hope in this 
mission. 
 
BOB 
I've created my own hope. The fact that I refuse to fail gives me hope. 
I cannot, will not fail. Mary is too important. 
 
WANTUGA 
Perhaps I've underestimated you from the beginning. Joining forces with 
you has taught me a great lesson. I feel that we have Varolia's 
blessing. 
 
ZEE 
I feel that there's too many gods to keep track of. 
 
 
Moments pass where the group just walks along the path. All of a 
sudden, Wantuga feels something. He holds his arm out signaling to 
stop. 
 
 
ZEE 
What is it? 
 
WANTUGA 
…it's here! 
 
BOB 
What?!? 
 
WANTUGA 
I thought it was a myth. 
 
BOB 
What is it? 
 
WANTUGA 
Thank you Varolia. 
 
PIRATE 
ARG! 
 
BOB 
Wantuga, what's going on? 
 
WANTUGA 
The sword of Citro! 
 
BOB 
What is the sword of Citro? 
 
WANTUGA 
I can't believe it. The sword of Citro is a sword forged thousands of 
years ago. What I've heard, I just took as myth.  
 
BOB 
What sword? There's nothing around. 
 
WANTUGA 
I can feel it! It's close; calling out to us.  
 
 
Wantuga walks around as if being led by a supernatural force. This goes 
on for a minute or two. All of a sudden, Wantuga drops to his knees. He 
lifts his hands towards the heavens and quickly drives them into the 
ground. It becomes apparent that he has grasped on to something. He 
quickly pulls his arms from the ground with a beautiful sword in his 
hands. The sword is long and luxurious, with a black blade and it 
seemingly brand new, despite the stories of how old it is. 
 
 
BOB 
(amazed) The sword of Citro! 
 
WANTUGA 
Varolia forged this immortal sword to combat the forces of evil; 
according to legend at least. 
 
ZEE 
Wow! I think Varolia is definitely on our side. 
 
 
Wantuga sheaths the sword and the group continues on. After a few 
moments of silence and amazement, someone gracefully jumps out from a 
tree in front of the group. 
 
 
ZEE 
WHAT THE…..? 
 
BOB 
Who are you? 
 
WANTUGA 
Szelcani. 
 
BOB 
(looking shocked at Wantuga) Szelcani!  
 
SZELCANI 
In the flesh. Miss me Wantuga? 
 
WANTUGA 
I will miss you…after I've killed you. 
 
BOB 
I thought you said he was already dead? 
 
WANTUGA 
He is dead. He was contracted from within the order to kill me after I 
escaped. He died the day he sold his soul to Novakowski, and betrayed 
his own friend. 
 
SZELCANI 
What can I say? I'm faithful in my job. You were the one who sold his 
soul. The minute you left N.P.A.S.A.N. Look now, here you are fighting 
against your own family. Pitiful. 
 
WANTUGA 
N.P.A.S.A.N. never was, and never will be my family. My family stands 
before you right now. 
 
 
At that moment, Pirate draws his dagger and stands in between Wantuga 
and Szelcani, prepared to fight. Wantuga puts his hand on Pirate's 
shoulder and slowly moves him aside. 
 
 
WANTUGA 
This fight is between teacher and student. 
 
SZELCANI 
Glad to see you still fight your own battles. You always had an over-
abundance of pride. You are about to see that pride will be your 
downfall. 
 
 
Wantuga draws the sword of Citro while Szelcani draws his sword. 
 
 
SZELCANI 
Fancy sword. 
 
 
Szelcani attacks Wantuga. What insues is one of the most INSANE sword 
fights ever witnessed on film. Both men are equally skilled, and both 
know each other's next move before it is executed. Both men make use of 
everything that is around them, including the trees. Wantuga gets one 
sword swipe in at Szelcani's face, causing an open wound near his eyes. 
Szelcani falls to the ground with Wantuga slowly walking towards him. 
Szelcani grabs a handful of dust and throws it in Wantuga's eyes. 
Wantuga goes down. Szelcani stands in front of Wantuga triumphantly. He 
raises he sword high for one last blow. On the sidelines, Pirate and 
Zee start to go after Szelcani, but are abruptly stopped by Bob. 
 
 
BOB 
This is Wantuga's fight. 
 
 
Szelcani forcefully brings down his sword in a mighty swoop. Wantuga 
almost instantly blocks the blow with the sword of Citro. With the 
blow, Szelcani's sword is split in two. Wantuga raises to his feet with 
purpose and strength exuding him. Szelcani starts backing down, but 
quickly draws a dagger from his back. Almost instantly, Wantuga lunges 
the sword of Citro into Szeclani's gut. Szelcani drops to the ground 
and dies. 
WANTUGA 
(looking at Szelcani) Varolia have mercy on you. 
 
BOB 
Szelcani huh?  
 
WANTUGA 
It is finished. Let us move on. We must get Mary before it's too late. 
 
 
They continue walking. 
 
 
BOB 
Why do they call it the sword of Citro? 
 
WANTUGA 
According to the legend, a mortal man with the name of Citro forged 
this sword in reverence to Varolia. Over the years, he had become a 
devout follower of everything Varolia stood for, and wanted to make a 
"perfect" sacrifice to her. It is said the sword took upwards into 50 
years to perfect, but it is also said that the sword cannot be broken, 
or outmatched by any mortal weapon. We are truly lucky to come in 
contact with it. 
 
BOB 
I'm beginning to see where your sudden burst of confidence is coming 
from. 
 
PIRATE 
Aye, but the weapon doesn't make the man matey. 
 
 
Everyone turns and looks at Pirate in shock as to hearing him say 
something other than "arg". 
 
 
ZEE 
You talk? 
 
PIRATE 
Of course I talk sonny. 
 
BOB 
All you've said up until this point was "arg". Why begin talking now? 
 
PIRATE 
I be more of a listener lad, but I wanted to make sure this undertaking 
of yours was worthy of my company. So I listen; listen to your stories, 
your ideas, your strategies. Now I see why I'm here, and that you, 
Wantuga and Zee are all worthy companions. I would gladly die for 
anyone of yous.  
 
ZEE 
You were testing us? Understandable. But what is your objective in 
this? Wantuga, Bob and I are all fighting for something. And you? 
 
PIRATE 
Well, let's see. I'm just in search of some action. 
 
WANTUGA 
You are just here for the action. 
 
PIRATE 
Ye be correct my friend. 
 
 
Long silence. 
 
 
BOB 
Works for me. 
 
ZEE  
Me too. 
 
WANTUGA 
Welcome to the action. 
 
PIRATE 
Arg.


SCENE 13: 
INT- The dark holding cell of Mary. Night. 
The camera zooms into the dark room to find that Mary is asleep. The 
camera stays focused on Mary for several moments until she jumps up 
from her slumber… 
 
 
MARY 
BOB! 
 
GUARD NINJA 
Quiet down in there! Enjoy the last sleep of your life. (laughs) 
 
 
At this point, Mary curls back up in the corner and begins to cry 
silently.  
 
 
EXT- Outside, Night. A hill overlooking the enclave. 
 
 
BOB 
There it is. Our fate lies in there. 
 
PIRATE 
Aye, but it is not lost. We have accomplished much. But we will 
accomplish much more in there. 
 
WANTUGA 
With this undertaking, we all become heroes. Maybe not in the eyes of 
the public, because they'll never know about what is going down here. 
But in my eyes… 
 
ZEE 
Mine too… 
 
PIRATE 
Aye… 
 
BOB 
Yep. We're heroes already. We rest the night. At 10:45 tomorrow night, 
we go in swords aswingin'. Whether we go down in a blaze of glory or 
come out victorious…Mary gets out alive. Understood? 
 
 
All shake heads in approval. 
 
 
BOB 
Ok. Tomorrow it happens. Sleep good; it may be our last. 
 
 
The camera fades out on the group going to sleep. A black screen comes 
up with the time of "10:30 p.m.". The camera comes up on the men 
preparing for battle.  
 
 
BOB 
(Checks watch) It's 10:30. We storm the facility in fifteen minutes.  
 
 
INT- Mary's holding cell. 
Mary is curled in the fetal position in the corner of her cell. Pitzer 
comes up to the cell and startles Mary.  
PITZER 
(looks around) It's time.  
 
MARY 
Now? 
 
PITZER 
Yes. I've been put in charge of watching over you while the ceremony is 
being prepared. I am to bring you to forth for the sacrifice, but by 
that time, we will both be gone. Everyone else is in the main hall, 
with the exception of the guards blocking the doors. Once we get out, 
follow me to the top of the hill. After that, we go our separate ways. 
Go find Bob, live a happy life. 
 
MARY 
Where will you go? 
 
PITZER 
I think it's about time for me to disappear. Live a semi-normal life. 
(Opens the cell) Come on. Time to go.  
 
 
Mary and Pitzer walk out of the cell headed for freedom. While walking 
along, the Guard Ninja sneaks up behind Pitzer and stabs him with a 
dagger in the back. Pitzer falls. The Guard Ninja quickly grabs Mary 
and hold the dagger to her neck.  
 
 
MARY 
PITZER! 
 
GUARD NINJA 
You ain't going nowhere Missy. Your sacrifice ensures our good-standing 
with Iomen.  
 
MARY 
WHY! He was one of your own! 
 
GUARD NINJA 
Pitzer got soft. He could no longer see past a pretty smile. Now come 
on, time to die. 
 
 
The Guard Ninja starts to drag Mary back down the corridor to the main 
room. Pitzer is seen reaching back towards his boot. He pulls out a 
dagger much like the Guard Ninja's. Pitzer pulls back and lunges, 
plummeting the blade into the Guard Ninja's ankle. The Guard screams 
then falls to the floor. Pitzer pulls himself onto the Guard and head-
butts him. 
 
 
PITZER 
Mary! Run, the sacrifice is about to begin. They'll be swarming the 
place any time now! 
MARY 
Thank you Pitzer. 
 
 
And with that, Mary grabs the Guard's dagger and heads for the exit. 
The camera shows Pitzer and the Guard lying adjacent from each other. 
Pitzer grabs the dagger from the Guard's ankle and plunges it into his 
chest. They both lay there and die. Mary is shown running towards the 
exit. She suddenly stops and sees the one guard blocking the exit. She 
looks at her dagger, pauses a second, and then starts to run towards 
the guard with the dagger. Before she can reach him, the backdoor to 
the facility bust open and the guard falls. There stands Bob, Wantuga, 
Zee, and Pirate in an almost action-type pose.  
 
 
SCENE 14: 
 
 
BOB 
MARY!  
 
 
Bob and Mary run towards each other and hug. Finally reunited at last… 
 
 
MARY 
You came for me. But I saw you get cut down. 
 
BOB 
Nothing could stop me from coming after you.  
 
MARY 
Who are these people? 
 
BOB 
There's no time to explain. We gotta get you out of here. 
 
 
With that being said, a ninja rounds the corner in slow motion from 
right behind Mary. Bob pushes Mary aside and walks determinedly towards 
the ninja. The ninja raises his sword, and without even flinching, Bob 
continues to walk into the path of the blade. However, before the ninja 
can strike, Bob plunges his sword all the way into the ninja's gut. The 
anger of Bob becomes readily apparent as he jerks and pushes the sword 
deeper and deeper into the ninja. Finally, he pulls the sword out and 
the ninja falls. Suddenly, a swam of ninjas come down the hall after 
Mary. 
 
 
 
BOB 
Get out of here Mary. Wantuga, get her out of here. 
 
WANTUGA 
I can't. 
 
BOB 
Why?! 
 
WANTUGA 
We got ninjas on this side too. 
 
BOB 
Mary, stay between us.  
 
 
Ninja's come from both sides as the four men form a circle around Mary, 
killing ninja after ninja. After about 2 minutes of fighting, the 
onslaught becomes too heavy and the ninjas take Mary. After Mary is 
apprehended, some ninjas leave with her while the others stay and die 
at the hands of Bob, Wantuga, Zee, and Pirate.  
 
 
ZEE 
They took yer girl. 
 
BOB 
Let's go.  
 
WANTUGA 
This way. 
 
 
SCENE 15: 
The camera follows the group as they run through numerous halls, 
fighting one group of ninjas after another. They finally get to the 
main hall, and kick open the doors. They are up on the scaffolding 
hovering above numerous ninjas down on the bottom floor. In the 
distance perched up above with the group is a Mary tied up, with a 
ninja inching closer to her with a dagger. Wantuga grabs his machete 
and throws it at the ninja with incredible accuracy. The machete 
becomes lodged in the ninjas head. The group runs towards Mary, only to 
find a dead old man lying on the floor, and a man cloaked standing 
above him, with Mary tied up behind the cloaked man. 
 
 
BOB 
Who's that? 
 
CLOAKED MAN 
That?! Well, that's Novakowski, the illustrious former leader of 
N.P.A.S.A.N. Now I'm the leader. 
 
WANTUGA 
Who are you? 
 
CLOAKED MAN 
Well, I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting most of you. 
 
PIRATE 
Most of us matey? 
 
CLOAKED MAN 
Well, I have met Ezekiel. 
 
ZEE 
What are ya talking about? 
 
 
The man removes the cloak revealing a young man who we have not yet 
met. 
 
 
ZEE 
(shocked)…Hayden? 
 
HAYDEN 
That's right DAD! It's your baby boy. Are you proud? 
 
ZEE  
But your dead. 
 
HAYDEN 
No, no, no Dad! I got stabbed, but I wasn't dead. You abandoned me, and 
I was seized by the enclave. Here I learned how to fight, and now I 
stand before you as the new leader. I did the impossible, I killed 
Novakowski, the elder. And now, with this sacrifice, I will solidify my 
position as the new young elder. By the way dad… 
 
 
Hayden pickes up the dead ninjas sword and chucks it at Zee, impaling 
him and killing him instantly. Two straight blades drop down from the 
arms of his cloak, and the fight begins.  
 
 
BOB 
ZEE! Pirate, get Mary! 
 
PIRATE 
(looks at the big crowd of ninjas surrounding Mary, and laughs 
hysterically) ARG! 
 
 
Pirate is forced to fight countless ninjas by himself while trying to 
get to Mary. A 3 way fight ensues with Bob, Wantuga, and Hayden. The 
fight last for about 2 minutes of constant sword play until a random 
ninja sneaks up behind Wantuga and impales him. Wantuga fall to the 
ground, dying, but not before he cuts off the head of the ninja who 
sneaked up behind him. With that, Hayden jabs Bob in the thighs with 
his blades. Bob falls.  
 
 
HAYDEN 
You know, it's funny. I admire you. Coming all this way to save your 
girl. Too bad you encountered me. Not only do I have the pleasure of 
killing Mary, but I get to kill you.  
 
 
Hayden raises his sword to kill Bob. 
 
 
WANTUGA 
BOB! 
 
 
Wantuga throws Bob the Sword of Citro. Hayden strikes down and is 
deflected with the sword of Citro. Hayden's blade is instantly broken 
in half. Bob plunges the Sword of Citro into the gut of Hayden, lifts 
him up and throws him over the scaffolding. Bob goes and checks on 
Wantuga, who is already dead. Bob sheds a tear, and goes for Mary. Bob 
slices his way through every ninja to get to Mary, and sees that Pirate 
is dead as well. He cuts Mary free and starts to walk down the 
scaffolding. Suddenly, Novakowski get back up… 
 
 
NOVAKOWSKI 
Where are you taking my sacrifice BOY! 
 
 
Bob, who's back is turned, slowly looks at Novakowski. 
 
 
BOB 
BOY?! You sure did pick a bad time to get up.  
 
 
Bob picks up a dagger off the floor and throws it at him. The dagger 
lands in his heart, and Novakowski falls.  
 
 
BOB 
I've come to far. I won't lose Mary again. 
 
 
SCENE 16: 
Bob and Mary walk down the scaffolding calmly aware that there are 
still many ninjas awaiting them. They reach the bottom of the steps, 
and AC/DC's "Back in Black" plays. Bob starts annihilating through 
ninja after ninja. Some ninjas get a cut or two in on Bob, but nothing 
is slowing him down. After minutes of constant killing, Bob's knees are 
taken out, and he falls kneeling. All of a sudden, Mary's hands begin 
to glow. Mary is obviously shocked, but it appears as if fire is 
starting to come out of her hands. Bob looks just as shocked as she is. 
One ninja walks towards Bob with his sword drawn, and Mary stretches 
her hand towards the ninja. A ball of fire shoots out, killing the 
ninja.  
 
 
MARY and BOB (together) 
(amazed) Cool… 
 
 
Mary takes over the killing watching over Bob. Bob looks at his watch. 
 
 
BOB 
12:16. "Fire shall reign!" 
 
 
Mary quickly annihilates what is left of the enclave, then falls to the 
ground. 
 
 
BOB 
MARY! (pulls himself towards her) Don't you die on me- I've come too 
far. 
 
MARY 
…I'm fine… 
 
WANTUGA 
(from uptop the scaffolding) So am I.  
 
BOB 
WANTUGA!? I thought you were… 
 
WANTUGA 
(holds up a leaf) You are not the only one who can use that trick. I 
figured it was in better hands with me. That was quite the show you put 
on with that sword…and quite the finish that Mary added on.  
 
MARY 
What's going on? 
 
BOB 
Nothing. Mary, meet Wantuga. Wantuga, this is Mary. 
 
MARY 
Nice to meet you. 
 
WANTUGA 
Ditto.  
 
 
Bob, Mary, and Wantuga are shown holding each other up limping towards 
the door. 
 
 
WANTUGA 
This door is locked up. 
 
MARY 
I don't think I can walk to another door. I'm too tired. 
 
BOB 
Hold on… 
 
 
Bob pulls out the Swiss Army knife and picks the lock. They all walk 
out, and the screen turns to black.  
 
BOB 
You know this was blessed by an Eskimo Shawman? 
 
A message appears that says…"BASED ON A TRUE STORY".
END CREDIT SEQUENCE

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