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THE LUNCHROOM Episode Nine "Shades of Gray" Teleplay by Max Majernik & Bruce Snyder Story by Alan Holman & Bruce Snyder Created by Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Vincent Biga STORY EDITOR Melinda Waterman CONSULTING PRODUCER Edward Drogos CONSULTING PRODUCER Max Majernik CAST LIST Will Cooper........................Jamie Bell Joel Mayberry.................Jesse Eisenberg Brian Vandele.....................Jason Davis Brock Warner.....................Martin Starr Reicther...................John Francis Daley Casey Jennings....................Kyle Sabihy Chris Hughes......................Arjay Smith Stacy Cifaretto................Lauren Ambrose GUEST CAST LIST Kate Davidson.....................Emma Watson Dave...............................Zach Braff Cathy.............................Brenda Song Marilyn.......................Zooey Deschanel Copyright © Bruce Snyder TEASER: INT. STUDY HALL-MORNING Chris is alone at his desk drawing in his notebook. Kate walks up to him and notices the picture. It's a picture of a Clown kicking the Kool-Aid man in the ass. KATE You know, I hope that's some kind of metaphor. Chris freaks out and closes the notebook. Kate sits down next to him. KATE I'm Kate by the way. CHRIS Oh, hi...uh, I'm Chris. Brief pause. CHRIS You know, I don't think I've seen you in here before. Are you new here? KATE I started school here but then went somewhere else for a little bit. Now I'm back and enjoying all that this trashy redneck ignorant school has to offer. CHRIS So I'm guessing you have some resentment towards this school too huh? KATE How did you figure that out? Chris smiles. CHRIS Umm, where did you go during that time you were gone? KATE Oh I was having some problems at home so they sent me to Eastern Psyche. CHRIS Oh Eastern Psyche...sounds...kinky. Kate laughs. KATE Oh Dammit! The bell is about to ring. Do I have any other classes with you? CHRIS None that I can think of off the top of my head. The bell rings and the class begins to disperse. KATE Meet me. CHRIS Already have. KATE Ha, ha you sarcastic twat. I mean after school. CHRIS Oh. You really sure you want to do that? KATE Of course. CHRIS You really going to be there? Your not just going to stand me up? KATE I Promise. CHRIS Cross your heart? KATE Hope to die, stick a fucking needle in my eye. CHRIS That sounds both painful and truthful. KATE (small smile) I'll find you after school. CHRIS Okay. Chris smiles and they both walk there separate ways. Chris looks up. CHRIS You know, Jesus. Considering my people horse whipped you and killed you, you're a pretty nice guy considering. A nearby bulletin board falls. CHRIS You don't have to say it, I'm already gone. OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the Credits AFTER CREDITS: INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - AFTERNOON The hall is mostly empty with the exception of one or two stragglers. At his locker is, Will. Joel suddenly pops up from around the corner. JOEL There you are. Will quickly begins to walk away. WILL Forget it, Joel. JOEL Wait, Will! WILL It's bad enough I know. It'd be even worse if I did this. JOEL Will, you've got to help me! You're my only friend that actually knows about her. WILL I never repeat myself. You know where I stand on this Joel. JOEL Please, Will! I'm begging you. All you have to do, is show up. Watch the movie with me, Cathy, and one of her friends and that's it. WILL Like I said before Joel...I never repeat myself. Joel is about to say something but stops. JOEL I know this whole Cathy thing is really fucked up - WILL - No shit. Listen, I already know how this night is going to end up. We show up, we wait, and Cathy arrives. I end up spending the rest of the movie feeling like a dick for being the third wheel. JOEL But really, this is just a group activity. WILL Just a group activity? JOEL Yes. It's not a date at all. Not even a form of a date. Just me, you, Cathy, and her friend watching a movie. Will thinks. WILL I do like movies. JOEL So are you in? WILL I'm sorry, I jus - JOEL Great. Pick you up at seven. Joel walks away. INT. LUNCHROOM - MINUTES LATER Will, Brian, Joel, Brock, Casey, Reicther, and Chris all sit around the lunch table, eating and talking. Just then, Will dips his piece of chicken into the ketchup. BROCK You put that stuff on everything. WILL Well, "that stuff" makes everything tastes better. REICTHER You're just full of bad habits, aren't you? Drinking caffeine like a mad man, putting that on every bit of food. WILL Your such an honest asshole, Reicther. BROCK Well, he is right. You do put that stuff on everything. WILL C'mon guys, lighten up. It just makes it better. I mean name me one type food that's not better if you put something on it? Everyone begins to think about it. CHRIS Um...ice cream? JOEL Nope. You can put chocolate sauce on it. The group continues to think. CASEY (proud) Cereal. WILL Are you stupid, Casey? Milk. Or sometimes sugar. It depends on what type of cereal. REICTHER I've got it. WILL What? REICTHER Cheese. Will begins to think. WILL Cheese? Wait a minute that doesn't count. REICTHER Why doesn't it count? WILL Cheese is more of a condiment. It's something you pour on a food to make is better. JOEL Wait a minute, it is a food. WILL No way. It's a condiment. Will puts down his fork. WILL I mean you put cheese on your salad. Cheese on your taco. Hell, even cheese on a cracker makes the cracker better. BROCK We're a bunch of fools. We're arguing about cheese. CHRIS God, he's right. Short pause as everyone goes back to eating. SWIPE TO: INT. LUNCHROOM - MINUTES LATER Most of the Gang finish up their meals. BRIAN So what's everyone up to, tonight? WILL (quickly blurts out) Movies! There is a thump under the table. WILL Ow! Will gives a glance at Joel, who seems confused. JOEL What? REICTHER Sorry, Will. I was aiming for Casey WHO STOLE MY CHIPS! CASEY They weren't yours! Brian sighs. BRIAN Chris, what are you doing tonight? CHRIS Going out with Kate CASEY Kate? Who's Kate? WILL The name of his right hand. The group laughs. CHRIS No asshole, I met her in study hall today. She seems nice. BRIAN Okay then... your name is off the list. Reicther what about you? REICHTER I am going to play with my father's taser gun. Then me and Casey are going to fight with my dad's police vest and police helmet. Casey smiles like an idiot. CASEY I'm his guinea pig. BRIAN Dammit. Brock, I know you have to be free. Brock seems offended. BROCK Well, not to prove you right, but I am. Plan A through R have failed so my night is now open. BRIAN Does no one want to hang out with me anymore? WILL Its not that we don't like you or anything. We just - REICTHER Don't like you. Reicther smiles. There's small, scattered laughter among the group. The bell rings and they leave. Brian sits there a few seconds and thinks. BRIAN Oh yeah, well your du -, oh you already left. CUT TO: INT. HUGHES HOME - AFTER SCHOOL Chris is looking through his closet, looking for something. CHRIS I need to dress to impress. After a few seconds of looking he stops. CHRIS Hello, hello. EXT. HUGHES HOUSE - MINUTES LATER Chris slowly emerges from the house, wearing a small, black trench coat. He looks down at his watch and begins to run down the street. CUT TO: EXT. PARK - MINUTES LATER Chris is standing by the swings, pacing back and forth. CHRIS Where the hell is she? KATE (O.S.) Please don't do it! Kate walks up behind Chris. CHRIS Don't do what? KATE Please don't kill yourself...or me for that matter. CHRIS Kill myself? KATE Yeah. CHRIS You know I don't want to be rude, but is their a particular reason why you think I'm a suicidal? Brief pause as Kate sizes Chris up. KATE The trench coat. CHRIS The trench coat? She nods. KATE Well, I saw a thing on the news where they said that 10% of suicidals wear trench coats. CHRIS On the news? KATE Yeah. CHRIS Ever think that I fall into that other 90%. KATE Not really. Considering your social Status and the fact that I don't know a damn thing about you. CHRIS I think that number is bullshit. 40% of percentages are useless. Pause. Kate stares into Chris's eyes. KATE I didn't want to ask, but what's up with the accent? Chris looks confused. CHRIS I'm from England. Didn't you know? KATE Oh thank god! I just thought you made it up. Chris seems confused. CHRIS Made it up? KATE My last boyfriend made up a Scottish accent he used to use all the time. Needless to say it didn't really work out after that. CHRIS Oh that sucks. This swing is making me bored. KATE Theirs the tire swing. We can go on that. She grabs his hand and they run over to the tire swing. CHRIS You know from the time I came to American I've seen a lot of different swings, but I know this one looks dangerous. KATE Its not that bad. You just get in the middle and run. Take yourself over the bushes and then use the tree to stop yourself. CHRIS Sounds too complicated for a swing KATE Its not trust me She looks at him and smiles. He gets in and starts to run to gain momentum. As he's running down he trips on a tree root and goes hear first into he jagger bushes. You can't see him you can only hear him falling and breaking branches. There's nothing but silence as Kate runs over. KATE Chris, where are you? Are you hurt? CHRIS If I said I couldn't feel my left arm, would that be a bad thing? CUT TO: INT. THEATRE - NIGHT Will and Joel are waiting in their seats. Will looks uncomfortable. JOEL You okay? WILL I'm really uncomfortable about all this. JOEL I know...you feel like your betraying Brian. WILL Actually, I've gotten past that. I am uncomfortable about being a third wheel. JOEL Don't worry, she'll bring someone. Will shakes his head. WILL (to himself) Two wrongs are only the beginning. JOEL What? WILL Nothing. TIME SWIPE: INT. THEATRE - LATER Will and Joel are in the same spots. The theatre has filled up a bit. TITLE CARD: "27 Minutes Later..." JOEL You want some popcorn? WILL No...you rat bastard. JOEL Okay, that's enough man. WILL Nope. All your gonna get out of me is mean sarcastic responses until a fourth person walks through that door. JOEL (sarcastic) Oh your going to be such a great icebreaker for Cathy. WILL Yeah, right. All I'm doing is bitching and moanin - (stops) Motherfucker. You were being sarcastic. Joel looks at his watch and turns around. He only sees Cathy walk through the door. She sees him and wave. Joel puts on a fake smile and waves back. JOEL (to himself) Oh, this isn't going to turn out good for anybody. Cathy sits down next to Joel. CATHY Hey Will. Will lots stunned, he then looks over at Joel with a disapproving look. Joel's face goes into his hand, embarrassed. CATHY Joel, are you okay? JOEL I'm fine. It gets black. Cathy looks forward, Joel looks over to Will. WILL (quietly) Just enjoy the movie...ya bastard. Will looks forward. Joel seems worried. CUT TO: INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - NIGHT Brian and Brock are sitting in his room very bored. BROCK Have you figured out why your the last one we call yet? BRIAN Yeah, yeah. What time is it? BROCK About 10:30. BRIAN You want to go knick-knocking? That's fun. BROCK Not really. BRIAN Why don't you try to think of something? BROCK Nah, I would rather have you do it. BRIAN I didn't realize how much of a walking mat I've become for our friends. Brian starts to bunker down and really think. BRIAN Oh! We can take Stacy's car. That'll make this night a whole hell of a lot more exciting. BROCK You wouldn't. BRIAN I would. BROCK Whenever you tried to steal that pen at the bank you broke down crying and ending up giving it back. This is a wee bit bigger. BRIAN That was a year ago, I'm a changed Man. BROCK OK rebel without a clue, I'll meet you at the car. Brock walks out of the room. INT. KITCHEN - SECONDS LATER Brian enters and walks over the corner. He looks over the key rack and takes the one labeled "Stacy." He grabs it and quickly leaves. CUT TO: INT. STACY'S CAR - SECONDS LATER Brock is in the passenger side. Brian enters the car. BROCK What took you so long? BRIAN Oh, a bit impatient are we? BROCK I'm sorry I just feel so superior to you. HA-HA BRIAN You're a crazy son of a bitch. They get in the car. Brian starts it up and begins to back out of the driveway. The CAMERA PANS back to the house. INT. STACY'S ROOM - SAME Stacy and Marilyn are in the bed together. Marilyn is resting her head on Stacy's chest. Stacy seems to panting a bit. It becomes clear that they've just finish making love. STACY Jesus... MARILYN You okay? STACY Yeah, I guess I'm just not... "broken in" yet. MARILYN Well, don't worry. You'll get use to it after a few more times. Stacy looks worried. Long Silence. STACY Yeah...about us having lesbian sex again...I've been thinking long and hard about this...and I was thinking...I was thinking about trying a guy out...you know it's nothing against you or anything... It's just like when you've been reading "Superman" comics all your life. Than when you're about to graduate and you finally want to see what this "Batman" is all about. Then after a while of "Batman" you kinda miss "Superman" once you realize that "Batman" is a bit too much for you. She looks down and notices that Marilyn is sleeping. STACY Oh for Christ's sake. Marilyn snores. Stacy shakes Marilyn a bit. MARILYN Wh-What? STACY You weren't paying attention. MARILYN Yes, I was. You were going on and on about "Batman" or something. Stacy sighs. STACY Marilyn...I think you should leave. MARILYN Wait! Stacy, I was only joking. STACY It's not that. Marilyn stares and is about to say something but Stacy grabs her hand. MARILYN But what if - STACY Please. (kisses her hand) Go. Marilyn, confused, slowly gets up. CUT TO: EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT The movie is letting out. Joel and Cathy are walking together. Will is walking 4 feet behind them watching the ground as he walks. A VAN pulls up. CATHY Well that's my mom. I'll be seeing you later. JOEL Okay. Until next time. Cathy smiles and gets into the van. The VAN slowly drives away leaving Joel and Will standing there. Long pause. Will stands there staring at Joel. After another long pause, Joel finally turns to Will. JOEL Well...it's still, early. Want to grab something to eat? Long pause. WILL "Until next time." JOEL What are you doing man? WILL What are YOU doing. That's the better question. Joel looks confused. JOEL Explain. WILL Your a jackass for bringing me along for the ride. Admit it you knew no fourth person would show up. JOEL I honestly thought someone was going to come. Will gaffs. JOEL OK sorry, I need you here though. When your here I'm more comfortable. Do you know what I'm saying? WILL Not really. JOEL Do you want me to explain? WILL Not really. An awkward silence. WILL Next time, if you want an icebreaker. Just say so. JOEL All right. WILL Now, what don't we go see what Brock and Brian are up to. INT. WILL'S LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER Will is standing by a small table, talking on the phone. Joel is sitting on the couch watching TV. BROCK (O.S.) Hello? WILL Hey man. How's it going? BROCK Nothing much. Just driving around in stolen vehicle with Brian. WILL You're in a car? Where are you going? BROCK Nowhere. Brian took Stacy's car. You want to get picked up? WILL Yeah. (laughs a bit) I have to see this for myself. Me and Joel are at my house. By Will hangs up the phone and smiles. CUT TO: EXT. PARK - NIGHT Chris and Kate are on top of the monkey bars. Their both laughing. CHRIS ...so He jumps out of the supply box and yells "SUPPLIES, SUPPLIES" Kate starts to crack up. CHRIS Wow, you found that joke funny, Amazing. KATE What can I say, no one says corny jokes anymore so their hilarious to me. An awkward moment. Then Chris goes in for the kiss. He kisses her for only a little bit then looks the other way sheepishly KATE Good god, what took you so long? Chris smiles and he begins to kiss her again. He guides his hand up her arm and notices something different. He looks down and she has many scars on her wrists. Some even look recent. CHRIS What is this? KATE Oh remember? Eastern Psyche? It's a place for troubled teens. CHRIS I'm confused. KATE Don't worry about it. Now come and kiss me you cute little tart CHRIS Uh, sor-I'm sorry I gotta go. Chris hurriedly gets up and walks away. Kate looks saddened. EXT. VANDELE HOME - SAME Stacy comes out of the house. She slowly makes her way toward the driveway only to see that her car is missing. STACY Oh what the fuck!? Pause. STACY Well, Marilyn was always good with revenge. VOICE (O.S.) Miss! Miss! DAVE ATTANASIO comes running up to her. DAVE Thank God I found you. Stacy begins to stare at him. DAVE (CONT'D) I think your car was stolen! STACY (still staring) ...Oh. DAVE It was about twenty minutes ago when I first noticed. I was just about to call th - STACY What's your name? DAVE Uh, well...My name is Dave. Dave Attanasio. Anyway I think you should really - STACY My name is Stacy Cifaretto. DAVE Uh, hi. You know the police should - STACY You live around here? DAVE Yeah, the house across the street... Stacy do you care that your car was stolen? STACY Cars are replaceable - Say, Dave you wouldn't happen to be single would you? DAVE Actually, I am. My girlfriend left me because she didn't like sharing an apartment with my mom. Stacy puts on a big fake smile. STACY (to herself) Better then nothing. EXT. STREET - NIGHT Chris is walking and talking to himself. CHRIS So she's suicidal, makes sense. That's the only way a beautiful girl like that would like me. He walks further and stops CHRIS Oh shit, did I just make things worse!? I just leave! What if she kills herself! Oh god I'm a fucking idiot. He begins to run towards the park but stops and gathers himself. CHRIS Chris just calm down. Your REALLY over reacting right now. Just call her later and say you ate some bad Chinese or something. Chris begins to walk again. CHRIS I wonder what the others are doing. EXT. PHONE BOOTH - MINUTES LATER Chris is inside, on the phone. Pause. REICTHER (O.S.) Hello? CHRIS HOY! Reicther. REICHTER (O.S.) AH! C'mon Chris, you know I told you to never do that. You know your English accent freaks me out. CHRIS (laughing a bit) Sorry. What are you up to? REICHTER (O.S.) Me and Casey are outside of the school right now. We really cant talk. CHRIS Oh sorry, see ya REICHTER (O.S.) Ok, see ya Monday Before Reicther hangs up. You can softly hear Casey say "Hey did you remember the bating ram?". Chris hangs up the phone and dials another. CHRIS What's going on? BROCK (O.S.) Hey, did your "secret" date end early? CHRIS Yeah. We can hear a car honk from the phone. BROCK (O.S.) Jesus! Watch the road Brian! CHRIS Where are you guys? BROCK (O.S.) Umm funny story, Brian took his sister's car so now were joy riding. Would you care to tag along? CHRIS I always am. I'm at the corner of Cheery and Blue. BROCK Ok, see ya. CHRIS Bye. Chris hangs up the phone. (SONG BEGINS "DON'T STOP ME NOW" by QUEEN) EXT. STREET CORNER - MINUTES LATER Chris stands at the corner, as the car pulls up carrying Brian, Brock, Joel, and Will. CHRIS Where are we going? WILL Doesn't really matter. Chris squeezes in the back. The car pulls away. FADE OUT. (THE SONG CONTINUES OVER THE CREDITS.) END OF EPISODE
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