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The Lunchroom
Episode 2x12
"Fooling Myself"
Teleplay by
Vincent Biga
and
Bruce Snyder
Story by
Bruce Snyder
Created by
Bruce Snyder
TEASER:
INT. REICTHER'S ROOM NIGHT
The lights are off and he's watching T.V. while laying
on his bed. We hear the Simpsons theme play.
REICTHER
The Simpsons...There's a 99% chance
I've already seen it...
Reicther waits a moment.
REICTHER
Yep already seen it. What else is
on?
Reicther picks up the remote and presses a button,
nothing happens.
REICTHER
What?
Reicther presses a button again and again furiously but
still nothing happens.
REICTHER
Why won't you work!?!
Reicther throws the remote across the room. The channel
on the T.V. changes and we hear the X-Files theme play.
REICTHER
I don't like this show either...
Reicther looks at the remote on the other side of the room.
REICTHER
It can't be helped...it's out of my
hands now...
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:
Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the
credits.
TITLE CARD:
"Saturday, April 24"
INT. BRIAN'S HOUSE KITCHEN NIGHT
CLOSE UP:
A Liter of Coke a Cola is opened.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL:
Brian is the one that did it. Brock stands right next to
him. Brian pours into two cups.
BRIAN
Here's to another great "Fuck the
Dance" night.
BROCK
Hizah!
The both take a drink.
BRIAN
Okay. All we need now is some
food and we'll be ready.
There's a KNOCK at the door.
BRIAN
Damn it.
Brian exits. Brock begins to grabs some chips and some
boxes of food.
INT. BRIAN'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM SAME
Brian enters and answers the front door to reveal Stacy
And Marilyn is with her.
BRIAN
The door was unlocked.
STACY
Yeah but I wanted to give you time
to pull your pants back on.
BRIAN
How considerate of you.
MARILYN
Hi, Brian.
Brian walks away, shrugging off Marilyn's friendliness.
BRIAN
Mmhmm.
Brian helps Brock carry lots of junk food back to his
bedroom.
STACY
Charming little bugger isn't he?
Marilyn laughs.
INT. BRIAN'S ROOM SAME
Brock and Brian both have controllers in their hands,
and pressing buttons furiously. We hear intense action
from the TV which we can't see but Brian and Brock still
look a little bored.
BRIAN
So...
BROCK
So...
There is and awkward pause, Brian and Brock share a
nervous laugh. They still don't talk.
BROCK
This sure is a riveting
conversation.
BRIAN
Yeah I know.
There is another pause.
BROCK
Why aren't the others here?
BRIAN
Will has a date for the dance.
Chris and Joel have never been to
one so they went to. Casey always
goes and god only knows what
Reicther is doing.
BROCK
Oh...
Pause.
BROCK
You know what was a great show?
"Rocco's Modern Life."
Brian laughs.
INT. REICTHER'S ROOM SAME
Reicther is still watching the X-Files in the dark. We
hear a blood curdling scream from the TV. Reicther
starts laughing.
REICTHER
Yes, god el chuprocabara. Rip his
face off.
Reicther continues laughing. Suddenly Reicther stops
laughing and shakes his hand wildly.
REICTHER
OWW!!!
Reicther rolls off his bed onto the floor, he looks up
at the ceiling, we can barely see a black dot flying
around and we hear a loud buzzing sound over the TV.
REICTHER
Horsefly! So my arch rival hath
returned!
Reicther looks at his hand.
REICTHER
And he has struck first! You
realize this means war don't you!?
Reicther gets up and runs for the door.
REICTHER
...War.
As Reicther runs out of his room and into the hall way
we hear him slip and fall onto the hard wood floor.
REICTHER
Ouch...
INT. STACY'S ROOM SAME
Stacy and Marilyn are sitting on Stacy's bed watching a
movie and talking.
MARILYN
So do you and Brian get along
alright?
STACY
Why do you ask?
MARILYN
You've only been living with him
two months I think its an
appropriate question.
STACY
Well, he's not nice but he's not
mean either.
MARILYN
That doesn't make much sense.
STACY
He hardly ever talks to me at home
so its neither.
MARILYN
At least he's not an annoying
little brother.
STACY
Yeah but its irritating how he
won't open up and talk to me like
he does with his friends no matter
how much of my guts I spill out to
him.
MARILYN
Like what?
STACY
Stuff like I've only been kissed
once, then he just looks at me with
a blank stare that seems to say;
"Why are you telling me this?"
MARILYN
You've only been kissed once?
STACY
Yeah, pathetic right?
MARILYN
Nah. My father wasn't kissed until
he was twenty two.
Stacy gives her a weird look.
INT. BRIAN'S ROOM SAME
Brian and Brock are still talking about TV shows.
BRIAN
What about "Invader Zim" why did
they take that off?
BROCK
I heard somewhere that they took it
off cause it was too dark.
BRIAN
Then why did they ever air it to
begin with?
BROCK
I don't know search me, but I wish
they would bring it back.
BRIAN
Yeah, like "The Angry Beavers" I
loved that show. You can never get
old of two beavers running around
making funny noises.
BROCK
I guess you don't any way.
BRIAN
Nope.
There is a short pause, Brock takes a drink of soda.
BRIAN
I think I'm going to end it with
Cathy.
Brock is about to spit out the coke but struggles and
keeps it in. He swallows. He then begins to breathe
deeply.
BRIAN
What the hell was that?
BROCK
What, I didn't want to spit it out.
INT. REICTHER'S ROOM - SAME
The room is dark, the TV. is the only light, we can
still hear the horsefly buzzing around. The door slowly
opens and we see Reicther enter with a spaghetti drainer
on his head and a big frying pan in his hands. He turns
on a lamp sitting on a dresser by the door.
REICTHER
Oh I'll get you sneaky little...
(searches for word) sneak! Then
we'll see who has the last laugh
WHICH will be me!
We hear the horse fly getting closer to Reicther who
beings to swing the pan wildly in the air.
REICTHER
Come on!!
INT. BRIAN'S COMPUTER ROOM LATER
Brian and Brock are sitting at the computer stumped.
BRIAN
How do you write a break up e-mail?
BROCK
What makes you think I know?
BRIAN
I know you don't know.
BROCK
If you knew that I know then why
did you ask even though you claimed
to know that I knew that I didn't
know.
There is a short pause.
BROCK
I've gone and confused myself
BRIAN
Yeah, I'll handle it from here, you
just go do...stuff I guess.
BROCK
Okay.
Brock leaves and Brian is left a lone. Brian sighs and
runs his hand through his hair.
BRIAN
Fuck...
Brian waits another second then starts to type.
BRIAN (V/O)
Dear Cathy, I've just been fooling
myself thinking this could work...
Brian stops and looks at what he's written.
BRIAN
Where do I come up with this stuff?
INT. STACY'S ROOM LATER
Stacy and Marilyn are still watching the movie.
MARILYN
Why have you only been kissed once?
STACY
Well, I just only found one person
who I was comfortable with ya' know?
MARILYN
Yeah I think I know what you mean.
There is a short pause then Marilyn gets up and stops
the movie.
STACY
What are you doing?
MARILYN
Close your eyes.
STACY
What?
MARILYN
It's something I learned in a Yoga
class to help you relax now close
your eyes.
STACY
Alright.
Stacy closes her eyes and the screen goes black as we
are looking from her perspective.
MARILYN (V/O)
Imagine yourself in a far away
place.
STACY (V/O)
Like where?
MARILYN (V/O)
The most beautiful place you can
think of, it doesn't even have to
be real.
A moment passes the we hear the roar of a water fall and
Stacy opens her eyes to reveal a gigantic water fall
with fine mists swirling every were, we see Stacy
standing there, her hair let down and wearing a light
purple dress.
MARILYN (V/O)
Are you there yet?
STACY
(very peaceful voice)
Yeah...
MARILYN (V/O)
What's it like?
STACY
It's the most surreal place I've
ever seen...
Suddenly two Chinese men come out of nowhere and are
sword fighting on the water. They see Stacy and stop
their combat and bow to Stacy. They both say a few words
in Chinese and subtitles appear reading: Hello Miss
Stacy.
Stacy bows and says hello then the two men go back to
flying in the air and fighting each other.
MARILYN (V/O)
Are you ready for the next part?
Stacy sees Brian ridding a flying unicorn waving at her.
STACY
(as she waves to Brian)
Yeah I guess so.
MARILYN (V/O)
Now imagine there is a person in
the distance.
We go back to Stay's perspective and see a faint figure
in the far off mist.
STACY
Who exactly?
MARILYN (V/O)
The one person for you, the one
person that you could wake up every
morning to and just smile from
their presence.
The figure starts to walk closer, we can barely see a
tall dark haired man.
MARILYN (V/O)
You see the person coming closer
and closer to you, yes?
STACY
Yes...
We see the out line getting bigger and we can see the
man is in great physical condition. He is only about
ten feet away now and still walking towards Stacy.
STACY
What do I do?
MARILYN (V/O)
The person you see keeps coming
closer and closer to you.
STACY
Ok...
The man stops in front of Stacy, only a few feet away,
she looks up at his face and he has a big smile on.
MARILYN (V/O)
Then they lean in close to you.
STACY
Yeah...
The man leans closer and is acting like he's going to
kiss Stacy.
MARILYN (V/O)
And then...
The man leans in and kisses Stacy. After a few moments
he pulls away, we focus on Stacy's happy face.
MARILYN (V/O)
How was it?
We see that Stacy has her eyes closed and she's back in
her room.
STACY
It was great...
Stacy opens her eyes and sees Marilyn only a few inches
away from her face and she has a big smile on her face.
MARILYN
I thought so too.
Stacy stumbles backwards, falling off her bed in the
process as she realizes what just happened.
STACY
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!! Th...Wa-, I,
whew...
She grabs her hair and quickly stands up.
STACY
Big...no no.
MARILYN
Are you okay?
Stacy is still trying to make words, but can't.
MARILYN
(smiling)
I know I made a very quick move
and everything. I'm sorry if I
shocked you.
Stacy snaps out of the shock and smiles.
STACY
It's fine. I just wasn't expecting
something like that.
They both chuckle. Marilyn leans in again and kisses
her. Stacy quickly backs away.
STACY
Okay...um, I hate to break this to
you...but I'm not gay.
MARILYN
What? I thought I was just going
fast.
STACY
Well, there's that and you know
...me not being gay.
MARILYN
(shocked)
Oh my, I'm really, really sorry.
STACY
It's okay.
MARILYN
I'm sorry, I just thought...you
were a lesbian.
STACY
It's okay.
Pause.
MARILYN
Are you...sure?
STACY
(surprised)
What do you mean? Of course I'm
sure why wouldn't I be?
MARILYN
I mean you said you had only found
one person that you were
comfortable to kiss, I thought that
meant...
STACY
It was James Wong the foreign
exchange student in the Fourth
grade.
MARILYN
Oh...
There is a long awkward pause.
MARILYN
I should go.
STACY
No wait!
MARILYN
I'm sorry but I had something other
in mind when I came over than you,
I'll call you when I'm ready just
to be friends.
Marilyn gets up and heads for the door.
STACY
Marilyn!
The door slams shut. Stacy sits there a long moment not
saying anything.
STACY
What just happened?
She throws her self on to her bed, frustrated.
INT. BRIAN'S BACKYARD LITTLE LATER
Brock is shooting a bb gun and trying to hit a row of
cans, missing every shot.
BROCK
Ugh, must have a crooked shot...
Brian comes out.
BRIAN
The deed is done.
BROCK
Oh that's good, why did you want to
end it any way?
Brian takes the gun from Brock.
BRIAN
I don't know really, just felt like
the right thing to do.
BROCK
I think its...
Brian cocks the gun, aims then takes a shot and knocks
over a can with ease.
BRIAN
What were you saying?
BROCK
...never mind.
Stacy walks out and joins them.
STACY
Hi.
BRIAN
Hello.
Brian takes a trick shot, using only one arm and hit
still hits a can. Brock looks mad and steals the gun
away and tries to shoot.
STACY
How was your night?
BRIAN
It was interesting, yours?
STACY
Same, wanna talk about it?
BRIAN
Hell no. Do you?
STACY
Not a chance in hell.
BRIAN
Okay then. Good talk.
Stacy nods and watches as Brock misses the cans yet
again.
STACY
Let me try
INT. REICTHER'S ROOM SAME
We see the horse fly land on a lamp shade. Reicther's
head comes up from below the shade, he has an evil grin.
He is about to swing the frying pan.
REICTHER
Hasta la vista baby.
Reicther swings the Frying pan but trips in the process,
the pan his the lamp and it falls on to Reicther after
it flickers off.
It is now very dark.
REICTHER
Oww...
We hear the horsefly buzzing loudly.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE
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