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EXTRAS
By Russell Dean Anderson
FADE IN:
GRAY SCREEN.
An instrumental version of a well-known Broadway show tune is playing. The
words "ACTING IS..." in large white letters fill the screen. The words fade
out and a series of quotes on acting take turns on the screen. These quotes
are from famous actors from the past century as they reveal their secrets of
what they personally think "Acting is".
CUT TO:
INT.- DALE AND SADIE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT
ANGLE ON:
An opened page of a day-planner turned to December 11th. In huge letters it
reads in the box, "OPEN CALL am". This day-planner will be referenced
throughout the story and act as the time line.
PAN OUT:
The camera pans off of the page and around the studio apartment. We hear the
same opening show tune being faintly being hummed. As we get closer to the
bathroom door, the humming gets louder. The camera stops on Dale Singer, a
decent looking man in his mid thirties, sitting on the toilet. We've found
our hummer. He finishes his business, lights a stick of incense, pokes it
into his soap on his sink, and gets naked to step into the shower. His
bathroom is the size of a closet. The camera pans around the bathroom
focusing in on his personal belongings giving us a sense of Dale's identity.
His wife, Sadie,an attractive brunette with a killer body enters the bathroom
to get made up. She's weaving in and out of Dale's morning ritual, getting
ready for work herself. She's a professional business woman. Neither one of
them speak. There is tension in the air coming from her. Still humming he
steps out of the shower and begins to dry off. He slips into a fresh pair of
boxers and stands in front of a mirror with make-up bulbs surrounding the
frame. He plucks some hairs from his eyebrow and clips a few nose hairs. He
does the morning routine of shaving, throwing some product in his hair,
brushing his teeth, etc. His hot and cold water taps on his sink are comedy
and tragedy faces. After he's finished freshening up, he glances into the
mirror and looks at his profile at different angles and makes a few face
stretches to loosen up his facial muscles.
He leaves the bathroom in his boxers, and heads to his bedroom which is
filled with every sort of old movie memorabilia you could imagine. He
deliberates for a while over his wardrobe for the day. He grabs his coffee
and eats his bagel as he's getting ready, still humming along to song. Sadie
gives him a peck on the cheek, grabs her briefcase and heads to work.
Dale heads back to the bathroom and applies a bit of foundation to his face
and adds a bit of color to his cheeks. He wipes on some deodorant, shoots a
couple of mists of cologne and heads out to get dressed.
As he's getting dressed, he glances to his clock on the wall and it reads
7:48 AM. He's in good shape, because his appointment isn't until 9 AM. Dale
ties the last few pictures to a potted evergreen that he intends to use as a
gift. The evergreen is dotted with mini head-shots of Dale with his name at
the bottom of each and every one. He puts some money in his pocket along
with a metro card and his keys with a plastic broken leg on the ring. He
decides to sit down and triple check that he has everything that he needs for
his appointment. He thumbs through some papers and head-shots, composition
cards and various post-it notes with his appointments. He transfers a few
over to his day planner and get's up to sharpen all of his pencils. For the
fourth time, he checks to make sure he's got his SAG card. As he reaches for
the card, he glances at his watch and the time is 8:45 AM. He looks back at
the clock on the wall and it still reads 7:48 AM. He totally freaks and
grabs his briefcase coat and scarf and runs for the door. He's in a panic
and he can't find his keys which are in his hand. He finally finds them and
takes a deep breath, and checks himself in a mirror by the door which looks
like a movie slate. He leaves his apartment door locking his scarf into the
door. The door opens and he yanks the scarf out and slams it shut. He
reopens the door and goes over to fetch the potted evergreen.
CUT TO:
EXT.-NYC STREET MORNING-SNOWY EARLY DECEMBER
Dale slipping down the sidewalk dodging in and out of fellow pedestrians. He
zigzags his way to the church and manically crosses the street and is
narrowly missed by a cab that skids on the ice to a crooked stop. He heads
down an alleyway that leads to the church basement. Dale enters a line of
actors waiting to be let into the open call. It's cold and snowing, and not
one of the actors in line are happy about being left in the cold. Dale
cannot seem to juggle all of his belongings comfortably. He doesn't want to
set his briefcase down in the snow and he's trying to keep the flakes off of
his mini head-shots. It's a losing battle. Most of the pictures are dotted
with moisture. Finally the line starts to move and the actors are let in one
by one.
CUT TO:
INT.-CHURCH BASEMENT-OPEN CALL
The room is filled with row upon row of children's desks that are way too
small to hold some of these adult actors. They are the chairs with writing
tables attached to them. The desks are equipped with papers and golf
pencils. The actors file into the room and squeeze their bodies into these
undersize desks. Lot's of sucking in and commotion stirs until, Dale the
last actor in the room wedges into the desk.
At the front of the room is a long table with 3 young casting assistants
sitting behind the table in chairs. The table is filled with papers and
pencils and other office supplies. Above the table is a large banner that
reads, "ORDINARY CASTING". Judith Silver is standing in front of the table
patiently waiting for everyone to take their seats. Other peoples tardiness
has affected her schedule. Judith is 4 foot 8 inches and is somewhere in her
late sixties. She is the owner of the extras casting agency called "Ordinary
Casting", and has been in this business for a little over three decades. She
is very well known in the business.
Everyone settles and Judith paces back and forth in front of the room. All
of the actors eyes are on her. She's like a god in this business and most
everyone in the room is in awe of her presence. They all wait quietly for
her to speak. She is about to speak the first words in the film.
JUDITH
(pacing and shouting)
You are not actors....I said, you are not actors. Did everyone get that? I
will say it one last time so you can get this through your thick
skulls....You are not actors! We have a strict rule of being on time and I
can see that some of you need a lesson on time management. Wear a watch. If
you don't have a watch, then get one today. I will not tolerate any excuses
on tardiness. You are all about to receive the privilege of working with my
company, "Ordinary Casting". If anyone doesn't like my tone, you can get up
and walk right out of that door you entered.
ANGLE ON:
The actors all sitting at tiny desks watching this woman pace across the
room. Some of their faces are watching in disbelief. The camera goes back
to the pacer.
BACK TO:
JUDITH
(still pacing)
I am not a baby-sitter. You are not my responsibility. I owe you nothing!
You will work my way or you won't work at all. Am I clear?
ANGLE ON:
A gentleman with his child gets up to leave and the desk gets up with him.
He pulls the desk down off from his stomach, gathers his things and walks
toward the door with his son.
BACK TO:
JUDITH
Sir...sir...hey you..fatso..I'm talking to you.
The gentleman ignores her and exits through the door with his son.
BACK TO:
JUDITH
Anyone else? Go ahead...go if you think that I'm going to spoon feed you. I
don't need any of you, so do it now or just shut up and listen. See, these
are the types of demonstrations that set me off. Jimmy, I need to sit. You
to take over.
ANGLE ON:
Jimmy, a heavy-set kid in his early twenties. He's been Judith's assistant
for a whole year. There seems to be a high turn around at "Ordinary
Casting". Jimmy is only speaking for Judith on the account that she tires
easily. Judith takes a seat in a chair that could fit 3 of her and Jimmy
steps up with papers in his hand, to take over. He feels empowered and uses
this to his advantage.
JIMMY
(gruff and jaded)
Yes, so on your desks you should each have a typed print out of "Ordinary
Casting's" do's and don'ts. I will go over them with
DALE
I'm sorry excuse me... I don't have the list.
JIMMY
Sir...don't interrupt me. Do you see how many people are here today? If
everyone was as disrespectful as you, we'd be here all day even though we
plan to be here all day. The point is we'd be here till tomorrow if...oh
forget it. Just let me get through the list and then we will answer
questions. So as I was saying, you should all have a list in front of you.
Hang onto this list. Memorize it. You will not be given another one. It's a
good idea to make copies of it in case you lose it. You should also keep a
copy next to your phone so you can remember. It's simple...if you do the
do's and don't do the don'ts, you will be called to work with us someday. So
let's get started. 1/ DO NOT call the office unless we have called you. 2/
DO NOT EVER stop by the office unless we ask you to. 3/ DO NOT ask us how
long the shoot will go. 4/ You are available to work ONLY if you are free
the entire day and night. 5/ Keep in touch with our office ONLY by picture
post cards, once every three to four weeks, and DO NOT send cards to each
person in..
Dale's cell phone rings and he takes the call. Jimmy walks over and stands
above him. Dale continues to whisper a conversation on the cell and Jimmy
yanks the cell from Dale's head, snaps it closed and jams it into his back
pocket.
You can have the phone when were done and if anyone else has a phone or pager
with them, turn them off. Okay Mr. Inconsiderate...where was I? 6/ Do not
continue to send us the same 8X10 photo. If you have a new photo that you
know we don't have on file, then send it to our office and mark on the
envelope: REGISTERED EXTRA-UPDATED PHOTO. 7/ If you need to update
information, such as new phone numbers, addresses, or that you are leaving
town for an extended period of time, let us know by card ONLY and state that
this info needs to be changed ASAP. Do not call the office. 8/ YOU MUST
ALWAYS BE PAID UP with SAG in order to work and you MUST bring your up-to-
date SAG card to the set, or you will be sent home. Making a copy of the
card isn't a bad idea. 9/ Leave a short and clear outgoing message on your
machine and NOT music or some monologue that you think is brilliant. 10/ Be
ready to work at any time we call you. Mornings, weekends and holidays.
This is not a 9 to 5 business, but a 24/7 business with unorthodox hours.
11/ DO NOT request us by phone, mail or otherwise to hire you for work
because you need to qualify for insurance. We don't care. Your health is
not our problem. You are not are responsibility. We have thousands of
extras in our files and what are we supposed to do...care about each and
every one? 12/ Bring the wardrobe pressed and clean when you come to the set
unless your playing a bum or bag lady. Have some respect for yourselves and
look good on the set. By you looking good it makes us look good. Okay that
should cover about everything. I'll answer a few questions and then we'll
get you up here and register you. You should all have pencils with erasers
with you. If you don't, we have golf pencils with no erasers, but make sure
you return them and obviously don't make any mistakes. So questions...
The actors have been humiliated into extras. There is a look of defeat and
fright over their faces. Dale is pissed, but of course too spineless to
stand up for anyone including himself. He is desperate to work as an actor,
even if he has to humble himself to be called in as an extra. To the mass
public, he can still call himself an actor with a bit of embellishment.
JIMMY
Any questions? No one? Great. So if you can all stand up and form a single
file line, we can get you all registered. Thanks for showing up and
remember, that WE will call YOU, not the other way around.
The extras all begin to stand up to form a line for the registration. As
they stand, the small desks that they are crammed into, lift up around their
bodies. They awkwardly bump into one another with the desks and it looks
like the bumper cars at a fair. Dale goes up to the registration desk with
his head-shot, SAG card, and registration papers. He finishes the
registration and hands the potted evergreen to Judith in person. He extends
the plant with a close-up smile on his face.
JUDITH (GRUFF)
Just set it down.
Dale kneels down and places the plant at her feet. He flips some of the
pictures back into place to where they are facing outward and gives some of
the ribbons a snug tug. He's very happy with himself for thinking of such a
brilliant idea around the holidays. He has no idea that Judith is Jewish and
even if he knew, it still wouldn't have crossed his mind not to give her a
Christmas tree. He's the type of person that once he gets an idea in his
head, it's done. Egg on face or not. Happy Dale gets up and notices that
his efforts are going unnoticed. He sidesteps toward the door, checking back
on his little plant the little woman and then exits.
CUT TO:
EXT.-NYC STREET
Dale and a few of his colleagues are hanging out in front of the church,
where the open call was held. They are all shooting the shit with verbal
resume's flying each one of them in a state of shock from the disrespect that
they witnessed. They break off into small groups and head their separate
ways. Dale leaves with four other actors.
INT."STARS DINER"
Dale and four of his acting buddies (Jennifer, Paul, Roger, and Bryce) are
standing in the doorway to "Stars Diner". A party of three have "their
booth". The five actors are all regulars and have a relationship with both
the clientele and the employees/owners. Each one of these actors are sitting
on both the clientele/employee line. Not one of them is too far in their
"acting career" to be working here at "Stars" or a place just like it.
CINDY
Hey guys...you're booth is occupied...I'm sorry.
DALE
Yeah...we see that. How ya doin' Cindy? Any idea of how much longer they'll
be?
CINDY
They have their check. I'm just waiting for them to pay and leave. We have
other booths open though.
DALE
No. It's okay. We'll wait.
JENNIFER
Dale...Let's just sit at a different table.
DALE
It's okay. We'll wait.
BRYCE
Dude. I'm hungry. Let's just sit
down.
DALE
I'd rather wait...Roger..Phil?
Roger and Paul shrug it off. They don't have an allegiance to anyone. In
fact, it seems like too much pressure for them so they choose to ignore
Dale's request.
DALE
Well..I'd rather wait for our booth.
BRYCE
Well, I'm sitting. You guys do what you want.
Jennifer and Bryce make a bee line across the room to an empty booth that is
situated across from their usual booth. Reluctantly, Roger and Paul both
join them in the sit, leaving Dale standing his ground at the door.
CINDY
Dale..Go sit. You can always move to your booth when it opens.
DALE
No. I'm okay Cindy.
He continues to stand in the doorway foolishly leering at the customers in
his usual booth. He seems to think that somehow he can telepathically move
them from his table. After one uncomfortable minute, he breaks and joins the
crew at the second choice, but clearly is not able to let it go.
JENNIFER
We'll move over when their done Dale.
BRYCE
I just want to eat. Who gives a shit where we sit?
DALE
I do Bryce, I do. I give a shit. Is that okay with you that I give a shit.
I like that booth.
BRYCE
The food here still sucks in that booth just as much as it sucks in this one.
What's the BFD?
They all flip through the volume of pages on the menu which they never use
anyway. These are habitual creatures..no menu necessary. They go through
the motions anyway.
PAUL
When's the last time somebody ordered oven roasted brook trout from this
place? Do they consider the East River a brook? How can all of this shit be
fresh? The livers probably been in the walk-in since Ed Koch was mayor.
CINDY
You guys ready to order?
BRYCE
Yeah. I'll have the "I'm such a Hamburger" deluxe, medium rare, and a
seltzer..Thanks Cindy.
CINDY
Jennifer?
BRYCE
Get the burger Jenn, it's your safest bet and trust me, I've seen the walk-
in. Don't worry about the calories. You know what I always say, "The Bryce
is right".
JENNIFER
Yeah, you do always say that and how pitiful. I'll have the same..but, I'll
have mine well done please. And a Mr. Pibb to drink. Thanks doll.
BRYCE
Excellent choice. Do they make Mrs. Pibb?
ROGER
Could I just have a salad?
CINDY
Just a salad? How many salads do you see on that menu? Help me out here
Roger.
ROGER
Surprise me. I feel like being surprised today.
CINDY
Then look at last years tax return and see how much you claimed from acting.
Surprisingly little, I'm sure. Come on Roger, just pick a damn salad, I'm
too busy to be surprising you and believe me, you wouldn't like my surprise.
ROGER
Okay, hook me up with the "Shelly Winter" salad and to drink a cup of tea.
Cindy gives him a look.
ROGER
Oh. I'm sorry, Earl Grey.
PAUL
Well you know what I want. The "Billy Holiday" blues berry pancakes. Are
the berries fresh?
CINDY
Sure Paul. You ask me that every time and it's like a broken record. Dale,
what's it going to be?
DALE
Hang on...I'm still looking. I'm going to go crazy today and try the "Dean
Martin" liver.
CINDY (SCREAMING ACROSS THE DINER)
Max..Do we still have the "Dean Martin"?
MAX
I think so. I'll check.
CINDY
Anything to drink Dale?
DALE
I'll have a Heineken..thanks Cindy. And do you mind if we move when that
booth opens?
CINDY
I said yes. Chill.
BRYCE
Dale..it's not yet noon.
DALE
Yeah..so.. what's noon mean. Who made up that so called rule. Are you
saying that if I drink at 11:59 AM, I could have a drinking problem, but if I
drink at 12:01 PM I'll be okay. I don't know about you guys, but I could use
a drink after all of that humiliation.
Cindy finishes writing the order, grabs up the menus and heads for the
kitchen.
JENNIFER
Yeah, so what was up with that open call? What the hell is up her ass?
DALE
She's the best in the industry. Once you work with her, that's it.
ROGER
That's it?
DALE
I mean that once you get a few of her jobs on your resume.. You're set.
BRYCE
You're not set Dale. It's just an extra gig. It's not going to go any
further than that.
DALE
Just an extra gig. Mr. Aboveanextragig are you?
Okay..Let's all listen to the expert here. Impart us with the knowledge of
your craft. Come on Terry cloth..let us learn from you. Teach us. You're
such a seasoned talent. Show us the way. Please.
BRYCE
I'm not saying that I'm better than any of you. It's what it is and I accept
that.
DALE
Well the fact is that it's better to swallow your pride for a few hours if it
has the potential for future acting gigs. At least it's making a living as
an actor and not a waiter, bartender or cabbie.
PAUL
How does one become that? Could you imagine working for her?
BRYCE
We do work for her Paulie. What were you doing at the open call? I thought
that was the point.
PAUL
Yeah, I know, but I mean working for her as one of the power hungry slaves in
her office. That must suck. We only had to deal with her for an hour or so,
but all day?
ROGER
I'm sure she's not like that to her staff. She's the best in her field and
has worked with everybody who's anybody or everybody that's somebody. What's
the difference between somebody and anybody anyway? That's just probably her
style. I found it to be exciting to be in her presence. She's been in the
biz for years and happens to be well respected from what I hear.
JENNIFER
That doesn't give her the right to treat us like children and shit all over
us.
DALE
We should consider ourselves lucky. None of us are from New York. We all
moved here from Podunck USA and we all have SAG cards. That's a start. It's
better than rotting away in a trailer with a stringer of kids in Normal
Oklahoma.
Cindy returns with an armful of plates and places them in front of her acting
eaters.
JENNIFER
That was too fast. This has to be somebody else's order.
CINDY
We aim to please.
DALE
Are those guys getting up soon?
BRYCE
We're fine here Cindy.
CINDY
You guys need anything else?
BRYCE
I think were good.
Dale gazes at his plate. His friends laugh at the charred chunk of
discolored meat on his plate. He doesn't mind being laughed at. He's behind
his choice of lunch, even if it kills him.
PAUL
That's liver? Doesn't even resemble liver. Who's liver? What's liver?
Dale, why liver?
DALE
Why not? It looks fine. I think it looks good. I haven't eaten liver since
I was a kid.
PAUL
Did you like it then?
DALE
Not really.
PAUL
Why did you order it? What point are you trying to prove by risking your
life? You don't have anything to prove to us big guy.
DALE
No point. It just so happens that I'm a big fan of liver. That's a good
name for a band...LIVER.
BRYCE
Yeah right. Everyone would hate them and if they did have any fans, they
wouldn't be under the age of sixty.
PAUL
Hey, not to interrupt the flow of genius minds, but would you guys give me
some input on my resume? I just had it updated and reformatted.
Paul pulls out his resume attached to a head-shot.
DALE
Sure man, I'll take a look.
Paul hands it over.
DALE
Paul, what's this?
Dale is pointing to a picture of two men escorting a man in handcuffs down
courthouse steps. It is copied onto his resume and underneath it says, "USA
TODAY".
PAUL
That's print work.
DALE
Your a corrections officer Paul. That doesn't count as extra work. That's
your real job. My god, that's pathetic. You can't be serious. And what's
worse or better, I'm not sure, is that the criminal your holding onto is the
star. You're even an extra in your real life.
PAUL
My agent says it's okay so it stays. Anything to beef up the resume.
DALE
Even lies.
PAUL
I'm not lying. That's me in print.
DALE
I'm glad you're buying. I just don't see any other takers.
Everyone digs into their lunch and Dale sceptically picks up the chunk with
his fork for inspection. He starts out with tiny bites, and decides to mask
the flavor with mustard and ketchup. The arrival of the food seems to have
quietened the others at the booth and everyone seems happy with their choice.
PAUL (TO DALE)
Eat up boy..or you'll go to bed hungry. No desert for you.
JENNIFER
That smells so foul.
BRYCE
It's good for you Dale. Would you like some of my burger?
ROGER
Why would you order that for breakfast? Or for any meal for that matter?
DALE
Let me eat my liver. I always wind up ordering the best thing on the menu
and you guys never learn. Oh look, those guys are getting up. Let's move.
BRYCE
Dale..come on. We're almost done here.
DALE
I don't care.. I want that booth.
The actors all get up with their drinks and food in hand and head for their
usual booth. The busboy is still removing plates from the table and wiping
it down. The busboy takes his time as the gang of five hover over him. They
take their seats to a wet table top.
BRYCE
Happy Dale Singer? We have a moist table and we're almost finished with our
lunch.
DALE(EATING)
I am. For some odd reason, the food does taste better from this booth.
Cindy strolls by.
CINDY
You got your booth. Good.
DALE
You bet!
BRYCE
Just in time for the check I might add.
CINDY
You guys need anything else? My shift is almost over and I've got an
audition downtown I need to get to.
BRYCE
Just the check dear. Good Luck Cindy.
Everyone at the table, and Cindy, gasps and stops what they're doing and
stares at Bryce in disbelief. Bryce has no idea what's going on or what he
said. Cindy drops the check.
BRYCE
What? What?
Staring continues for a few beats as Bryce searches faces for some clue.
BRYCE
Oh. I'm sorry Cindy. Break-a-leg!
CINDY
Thanks Bryce. See you guys later. Bryce...are you working today?
BRYCE
I'm not scheduled.
CINDY
You are now. Peter quit this morning and I think they were going to call you
in. You better get the hell out of here before they see you.
Bryce stands without finishing his lunch, throws money on the table at the
same moment his cell rings. He mistakenly answers it, hoping it will be his
agent.
BRYCE
Bryce Aldin. No, I'm sorry I can't. I'm out in New Jersey baby-sitting my
sisters kids. Okay....well give me a call back if you can't find anyone.
He looks over and sees his boss on the phone with him. His boss is staring
right at him. His boss heard the cell phone ring. The boss motions for
Bryce to come over. Bryce snaps shut his cell, gets up and walks toward his
boss. His boss throws an apron at him which lands on his head.
DALE
SHIT!
JENNIFER
What?
Dale is fumbling through his pockets and bag. He stands up and goes and
looks in the seat of the original booth. He comes back and crams his hand
into the seat cushion.
DALE
SHIT SHIT SHIT! That little twerp from the open call has my cell phone in
his ass pocket. Somebody let me use their cell.
ROGER
I'm almost out of minutes for the month. Sorry.
DALE
Come on. I need a phone.
Jennifer reluctantly hands over her cell.
JENNIFER
Don't break it. And I'm low on minutes too, so make it snappy.
Jennifer starts to show Dale how to use her phone.
DALE
I know how to use a cell phone Jenn. Thank you.
Dale dials and waits.
CUT TO:
The ass pocket of Jimmy Sands from ORDINARY CASTING. A cell phone is ringing
in the pocket. His chubby hand reaches around for it. He opens the cell and
raises it to his head. He's completely confused. This is not his cell. He
always keeps his in a pocket of his work bag.
JIMMY (ANSWERING CELL)
Ordinary Casting.
DALE
That's my cell phone. Who's this?
JIMMY
You called me. Who's this?
DALE
It's Dale and you're on my cell phone.
JIMMY
Dale who?
DALE
Singer.
JIMMY
Who's Singer?
DALE
I am.
JIMMY
So your a singer. Why are you calling me?
DALE
I'm Dale Singer and the cell phone in your hand is mine.
JIMMY
Then why is in my ass pocket?
DALE
You ripped it from me today at the open call and forgot to return it to me.
JIMMY
I didn't forget anything pal.
DALE
Okay, you win. I forgot to pick it from you before I left the open call.
JIMMY
You were at the open call today?
DALE
Yes. You took my phone.
JIMMY
Didn't we tell you not to call us and that we would call you?
DALE
I didn't call your office. I need my phone. Where are you?
JIMMY
I'm at the office, but we also told you absolutely no office visits.
DALE
Can you leave it with the doorman or maybe make an exception.
JIMMY
I'm busy now. Come by the office in about an hour.
DALE
Thanks. I appreciate it. Sorry to bother you.
JIMMY
Yeah.
Jimmy snaps the phone shut and shoves it back into his ass and returns to his
business. He's in the middle of the Sunday Times crossword puzzle. He's
only filled in two answers.
CUT TO:
INT. ORDINARY CASTING OFFICE
Jimmy is still stuck on his crossword and the office buzzer rings. He sends
one of his other assistants to open the door. A young girl named Gretchen
goes to the door and opens wide. Dale is standing on the other side. Dale
can see Jimmy sitting at a desk working on something and in the distance he
sees the evil little woman hunched over working on something in the other
room.
GRETCHEN
Who are you and what are you doing at this office?
DALE
I'm Dale Singer. You have my cell phone.
GRETCHEN
Really, I have your cell phone.
DALE
Jimmy does.
GRETCHEN
Jimmy, this guy says that you stole his cell phone
DALE
No no. Not stole, he just..
Jimmy gets up off his fat ass and approaches the door. Jimmy takes over the
door and Gretchen returns to her post.
JIMMY
Hey, are you the guy that called the office earlier?
DALE
No I never called the office, I called my cell.
JIMMY
We have very strict rules about calling the office. If everyone in our files
called our office, we wouldn't be able to do our jobs, understand.
DALE
Yes I do, but...
JIMMY
No buts period. There are no exceptions to our rules. I believe we made
that extremely clear. No calls unless we call you and no drop by's.
DALE (DEFEATED/SARCASTIC)
Got it. Could I grab my cell.
JIMMY
Hang on, I'm in the middle of something and then I'll grab it.
Jimmy props open the door and goes back to his desk and rummages through his
desk looking for the mobile. Dale looks through the room and spots Judith.
All he can see is her hunched over something, and little pieces of paper
fluttering to the ground. Judith picks up all of these little papers and
tosses them in the garbage. Jimmy returns to the door.
JIMMY
I can't find it. What's it look like?
DALE
It's a cell phone. It's probably the one that doesn't look like yours.
JIMMY
Who makes it wiseguy?
DALE
I think it's in your back pocket.
Jimmy reaches to his ass and pulls out a cell phone.
DALE
That's it.
JIMMY
I thought that was my wallet.
DALE
Guess not.
JUDITH
Jimmy, who's at the door?
JIMMY
No one Ms. Silver
DALE
Thanks.
JUDITH (SCREAMING)
No actors should be at our office for any reason whatsoever. Is that
understood Mr. Jimmy?
JIMMY (TO DALE)
See what I mean. This kind of shit gets me heat.
Judith pushes her way past Jimmy and Dale with Dale's potted evergreen, with
his mini head-shots snipped. She walks over to the doorman across from her
office and hands it to him. Dale watches in complete awe. How could she not
recognize him.
JUDITH
Have a nice Christmas Al.
Judith, in her own world, turns back to the office and grabs Jimmy and slams
the door on Dale.
JUDITH (O.C.)
Jimmy! Get your ass in here. The phone is ringing.
Jimmy opens the door a crack.
JIMMY
By the way, someone called your cell. Oh, and remember again, never stop by
the office unless we ask you to come by and never call the office unless we
call you first. Got it.
DALE
I got it the first time. Do you know who called? Who was it that called?
JIMMY
No idea.
DALE
Male or female?
JIMMY
Don't know. I'm busy here.
Yet, another door is slammed in Dale's face and he turns to leave, calling
everyone he knows who might have called.
INT.- DALE AND SADIE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-BATHROOM
Dale is sitting on the toilet in his robe, with a bad ass case of diarrhea.
His head is in his hands, and the wastepaper basket is between his legs. A
"Variety" magazine is propped up on the basket for reading material. Dale
reaches over, ass half off the toilet to slam the door on the camera. From
beyond the door we hear sounds of sickness (heaving and diarrhea).
DALE (SHOUTING)
Fucking Liver!
Dale exits the bathroom pale and drained as he heads for the couch. He grabs
his remote and plays a scene study tape on his VCR. He sits on the couch in
pain staring through the television, not able to concentrate on much of
anything. The sound of dogs barking outside lures him to his window. He
looks out and sees the mailman is approaching his building. Mail is the
highlight of many of his days. He's expecting something or another at any
given day to launch him out of his pathetic existence. The mailman is Dale's
adult Santa. He darts out of his apartment and flies down the stairwell.
His door slams shut behind him.
MAILMAN
Nothing for you today Mr. Brando.
How you doin'? You look like hell, Dale. It's almost 3 o'clock..did you just
get up?
DALE
I know. Really, I can't believe it hasn't come yet? It was supposed to
arrive last week.
MAILMAN
We'll it's the season and mail gets mighty backed up fella. Let's see...not
really..oh..looks like there's something else for you. Looks like a returned
parcel from London. Looks as though there was a lack of postage, and a
postcard of some sort.
DALE
God damn it. That's my application to RADA which is due by the end of this
week. Now I'm going to have to overnight it. Thanks Bern. Oh..Merry
Christmas.
MAILMAN
I'm Jewish, but you too. See you tomorrow Olivier.
Dale wanders back upstairs unsealing the padded envelope. He pulls out two
of his head-shots, the application for the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts,
and his report on "What is Acting?". He puts all of the material back into
the envelope and takes a look at the postcard as he meanders back to his hole
of an apartment. The postcard turns out to be an invite to his 20th High
School Reunion planned for this summer.
He sits down at the top of his stairs, staring at the invitation which
becomes a blur. He hears the voices in his head as we cut to a dream state.
H.S. PRINCIPLE
"and the Oscar goes to....i can't get this damn thing open.
The high school principle tears it open and rips the card in half. He has to
match up the first and last name by holding each half up to his eyes.
H.S. PRINCIPLE (CONT'D)
Oh..here we go....Dale Singer
In this fantasy, he's back in High School as a 38 year old man around all of
the 18 year old kids he graduated with. He is strolling down the aisle with
the same padded envelope in his hand, and starts to head up to the stage of
the school gymnasium. The principle steps aside to make room for Dale with
the whole graduating class and faculty clapping and praising him. He begins
to deliver his speech on his training at RADA, and how that education played
such a role in molding him into the fine actor you see before you.
DALE
First, I'd like to thank my mother who pushed me to become an actor and gave
me way too much confidence. Without her praises, I would be on a different
path. This is for all of those people that said that "I was great" even when
I knew that deep down I didn't have the talent of a flea, and even some of
those make it far enough to the circus.
The rumbling of Dales stomach snap him back into reality. He picks up the
pace toward his door with a few moments to spare before what he feels will be
another barf explosion. He reaches for the doorknob, and is panicked by the
fact that he's locked himself out. He feverishly scours the area for a
container to barf in and finds nothing except the padded envelope in his
hand. He reopens the application and throws up on his head shots and
application materials. While throwing up, he hears his phone ringing and
ringing. The answering machine picks up and his agent, Bonnie, leaves a
message.
BONNIE
Dale, listen...it's Bonnie. You need to keep your cell phone on and with you
at all times. I keep getting the wrong person. Did you get a new number? I
have no way of getting in touch with you. You have an audition tomorrow.
Call me at my office for the details. I don't like these answering machines
and you know this. You have a cell phone....use it.
Dale finishes his sickness and leans the "mail" on his door. He runs down to
the supers apartment and raps on the door. An Asian girl and boy answer the
door. They start laughing at him.
DALE
Hey, have some respect for your elders. When I was your age... Where's your
dad? Where's Mr. Wang? Your dad? Where is he?
The Asian kids call over some of their friends to join in on the laugh.
DALE
Hey. This isn't funny. I'm serious, now where is you father.
BOY
Papa Wang not here?
DALE
Yes. Papa, papa Wang! Where is he.
The kids point outside to the front of the building.
DALE
Outside? He's outside. That's good, outside. Thank you, and stop laughing
or I'll tell your dad.
Dale is on the ground floor and goes to look for Mr. Wang outside. He steps
out on the stoop with the door slamming shut behind.
DALE (CALLING FROM THE STOOP)
Mr. Wang? Mr. Wang... Mr. Wang....Mr. Wang!
He runs around the building calling his name. He spends the last of his
energy on searching for Wang. Exhausted and nauseous, he goes back to the
door and realizes he's locked himself outside. Defeated and worn slick, he
sits on the stoop and waits. The poison decides to rear it's ugly head again
and Dale shoots up and grabs a garbage can, lifts the lid and pukes in the
buildings garbage pail. The super rounds the corner and sees a homeless man
in a robe, digging through his garbage.
SUPER
Hey. What the hell doing? Put down can now. I serious, get the hell outta
here. I kick you can.
Dale turns toward the super with his head still in the can.
SUPER
Put can down.
Dale removes the can from his head. He's got liquid and coffee grounds on
his face.
SUPER
Mr. Singer. What hell you doing? You crazy? You make a mess.
DALE
Mr. Wang, thank god. I'm locked out of the building and my apartment. I've
got some serious food poisoning. The mess. I'll clean it up when I return.
I promise. I'm just so sick. I need to rest. Do you mind letting me in.
My agent called me this afternoon. I've got to get ready for an upcoming
audition today or tomorrow, I'm not sure.
The super lets him in and walks upstairs to Dales apartment. Dale struggles
behind.
SUPER
I smell?
DALE
I have an audition this week. This could be real good Mr. Wang. This might
be the one.
SUPER
It stinks here? Where comes that smell? It's smells bad here.
The super pulls out his keys, and unlocks Dales door. He pushes the door
open, and the padded envelope spills onto Dales comedy/tragedy doormat. Mr.
Wang shoots Dale a disgusted look, shakes his head, and goes back to his
business.
DALE
Mr. Wang, thank you so much. I owe you. I'll bring you some egg-rolls,
origami or something for your family. Wish me luck on the audition.
SUPER
Origami Leg rolls. Good luck. Not break legs crazy.
CUT TO:
INT.-DALES NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-EARLY SPRING
Dale is working on his VCR. His acting tape has run to the end and snapped.
He struggles to remove the tape and finally yanks it out. The tape is a wad
of scrap. He crosses to his desk and attempts surgery on the tape with
scotch tape and using his fingers to wind it back into the housing. While
working on the tape, he calls his agent, Bonnie, on speaker phone.
CARLA
Bonnie Bloom Agency.
DALE
Hey Carla, may I speak with Bonnie please?
CARLA
Whose calling?
DALE
It's Dale. (pause) Dale Singer?
CARLA
Hold please.
Dale is still fixated on fixing the tape. Sadie enters the apartment from a
hard day at the office.
BONNIE
Where the hell have you been? I've been calling your cell. Why don't you
keep that thing with you?
DALE
I know, I know. I lost my cell phone. Did anyone pick up because I called
it once and someone answered but I don't speak Spanish.
BONNIE (INTERRUPTS)
What? Do you have me on speaker phone? Get me off. I can't hear a word you
say when you have me on like that.
Dale picks up the receiver.
DALE
Bonnie, go easy. Today hasn't been a walk in the park for me, so please if
you don't mind.
BONNIE
Is Dale having a bad day? You're an actor. How many good days do you
expect? Wise up and get tough. You have an audition the day after tomorrow,
which is Wednesday, for a television pilot. I'll give you back to Carla and
she'll give you the details. Are you going to be able to make this?
DALE
Yeah, Yeah, no problem. That's cool. My day just turned around. I'll be
there.
BONNIE
You've got to get yourself another cell immediately. Okay, now good luck.
DALE
Wait, Bonnie. Please, it's break-a-leg. Please don't wish me luck. It's
bad luck to wish me luck. I appreciate you thinking of me though, and don't
forget, I've got my under five on Law and Order tonight.
BONNIE (SARCASTIC)
Yes Dale. We've all got our VCR's programmed and we're having a big party at
my loft. Here's Carla.
Dale is talking to Carla and writing down all of the audition info. Sadie is
in the kitchen preparing dinner.
CARLA
Dale? Dale, are you there?
DALE
Hey Carla.
CARLA
Am I on speaker phone? Take me off now before I give you the info. That's
better. Can you hear me?
DALE
Yes I can. Uh huh. Right. 163 West...okay. Um, what's that between? It's
okay, I'll find it. Right, okay at 2:30. 2:30 right. That's PM. I know, I
was just making sure. That's great, I'll be there. Thanks Carla. Oh, do I
need to bring my Sag card? Okay, great. We'll speak to you later. Got it.
No, no, I'll be there. I'm okay. Yeah, alright. Wish me luck.
CARLA
Good Luck,(under her breath)freak.
DALE
No no no no no...it's break-a-leg.
CARLA
Whatever, I've gotta go. Good luck.
Dale hangs up the phone and tosses the tape into the garbage. He calls his
therapist, Joan, on speaker.
JOAN
Hello, Joan Tanner
DALE
Joan, it's Dale Singer.
JOAN
Dale, what's up?
DALE
I need to see you today if that's possible.
JOAN
Okay, first take me off of your speaker phone. Let's see. Not today. Maybe
tomorrow.
Dale picks up the receiver.
DALE
So you can see me tomorrow?
JOAN
I've got a 6:30 open.
DALE
That's great. See you then.
Dale strolls to the kitchen and puts his hands around Sadie's waist as she is
cutting up vegetables. His kisses on her neck are not well received. She
gets agitated and tries to squirm from his grip.
SADIE
Dale, I'm trying to make dinner.
DALE
I know. What can I do to help?
SADIE
Leave me alone.
DALE
I'm just so excited. You know who that was on the phone. That was Bonnie my
agent, and I, Dale Singer have an audition for a pilot this Wednesday. I'm
going to nail it. Also, I'm in tonight's episode of Law and Order, which
starts in about five minutes. I've got the VCR programmed and I'm ready to
roll with the tape.
SADIE
That's great Dale. You go in the living room and watch your show and I'll
get dinner ready.
DALE
I want you to watch it with me.
SADIE
Dale, we live in a studio. I'm not that far away. Just call me when your
on.
DALE (GIVES HER A PECK ON THE CHEEK)
Okay honey, but you've got to come in when I tell you.
Dale goes to the couch and triple checks the channel settings and the VCR.
He's got his remote controls within arms reach and everything he needs for
the next hour of programming. The program begins and he turns up the volume
to the Max.
SADIE
Dale turn that shit down.
DALE
Honey, it's on.
SADIE
Really?
Dale is sitting on the couch with his eyes glued to the set. He sit watching
and starts to recognize his scene.
DALE
Sadie, were almost there. Come on you're going to miss it.
SADIE
I'm coming, hang on.
DALE
No, come in now. It could be any second now. Hurry.
SADIE
I've just got to wash the chicken off my hands.
DALE
No time. Put down the chicken and get in here.
Sadie wipes her hands on her apron and grabs a towel.
DALE (CONT'D)
Here I am, here I am. Come on where are you.
SADIE
I'm coming. Jesus.
Sadie enters the living room standing in front of the television. Dale is
slumped in the couch with disappointment.
SADIE
Where are you? Dale, I don't see you. Which one are you?
DALE
You missed it. That was it.
SADIE
I thought..I'm sorry. I just thought. You got it on tape right?
DALE
Yeah, do you want me to rewind it and play it for you?
JUDY
Yes I do.
Dale uses the remote to rewind and the tape shoots out of the VCR opening in
a mangled heap.
DALE (SHOUTING IN FRUSTRATION)
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK ME!
CUT TO:
INT.JOANS OFFICE-FOLLOWING DAY
Dale and Sadie are sitting across from his therapist in a neat, well-lit
room. Joan has an eclectic collection of art and sculpture placed throughout
the studio apartment that she uses as her office. She's definitely in her
late fifties but you couldn't tell by looking at her. She's in great shape
and Dale doesn't have a hard time imagining her in her youth. Dale feels as
though he has a great relationship with Joan. For Joan, it's business as
usual, and she's just doing what she likes to do best; her job. Dale is
comforted by this woman and as far as Dale is concerned, she's the only
person that really understands him. Dale is able to reveal a side of himself
that he thinks he hides from everyone else.
JOAN
So what's going on Dale? Why the need for an unscheduled appointment?
Sadie, did you need to come today?
SADIE
I'm not sure why were here to be honest.
DALE
I'm good. I've been having too many "Dale days".
JOAN
Why does that sound like a bad thing?
DALE
I'm not sure. I'm so frustrated and filled with anxiety. But sometimes I
have good Dale days.
JOAN
Most people, if they named a day for themselves, it would be a positive event
where they had won the day.
DALE
I don't feel as though I'm winning anything. I feel like I have a horseshoe
up my ass backwards. Most people huh? So maybe I'm not having a "Dale
day". I guess I'm having a Dale of a day. I don't understand. I feel out
of sync. I'm getting no breaks. I'm a good guy. I treat people with
respect. What does it take? What am I doing? I'm thirty-seven years old.
What the hell am I doing? Why can't I reach my goals. I'm so scattered. I
have an audition tomorrow for a TV pilot, and I'm not as excited as I should
be. Maybe it's just bad timing because I feel like shit. I got food
poisoning earlier this week and I'm feeling very weak.
JOAN
How excited should you be?
DALE
You know..very.
JOAN
Why should you be very excited?
DALE
Because, this is what I want. This is my dream. This is what I've been
waiting for. This is what I've trained for. This is what I've always wanted
to do since I was a child.
SADIE
Dale, somebody, like your acting teacher in high school or some remote
relative, blew smoke up your ass at an early age and you went with it, and
still continue ride this with little result. It's time you/we moved on and
faced the reality of our lives.
DALE
What's that supposed to mean. What's this smoke up my ass thing? What the
hell does that mean anyway. What is the advantage of having smoke blown in
your ass. I can think of so many other things I'd rather have blown up my
ass. I'd rather have this horseshoe up my ass straightened out.
SADIE (SARCASTICALLY)
Your missing the point darling.
JOAN
Maybe Sadie is right Dale. You're not a child anymore. Maybe that was your
inner child's dream and you feel obligated to fulfill this dream. If you
don't do this, will you feel defeated?
DALE
Don't start taking her side. It's what I was meant to do. It's what I'm
supposed to do. It's what I have to do now. I've held onto this for so long
and it's too late in life for me to turn back now.
SADIE
I think it's time to let go of these childish dreams and figure out what the
fuck you want to do with your life because I'm getting fed up with this
acting shit.
DALE
What's with the negativity Sadie? You almost saw me on TV last night. I'm
working. Do I have to be a star to fit into your life.
SADIE
No. That's what I'm trying to smack through your head. I don't think you'll
ever be a star and I think it's time that you had better give up on this star
shit.
DALE
You'll see. One day honey, I'll prove you wrong.
SADIE
Why do you feel the need to prove anything to me. You should be doing things
for yourself. I'm going to shut up now. I'm not the therapist in this room.
DALE
Good idea.
JOAN
Maybe, Dale, you don't need to do a complete turn, but just a mild
adjustment.
DALE
English.
JOAN
It's very possible that you have the answer. Maybe not right in front of
you, but somewhere within reach.
DALE
I get close and then that God awful rejection. That rejection. I just can't
get used to it. I take it so personal. Why should I have to? I feel like all
these past years of effort have been wasted time.
JOAN
Time is never wasted as long as you're still breathing. This is what life
is. This is just a portion of the journey. You, yourself are in the midst
of a journey, just as I am. We're the ones that instigate the rules of
society. We're the ones who put ourselves in a box. No one ever told you
that you had to do anything with your life. You made that choice. Just
remember that you always have choices.
DALE
Choices...Yeah. Subpar life or instantaneous death.
JOAN
That's only two. You can do better than that.
DALE
I know. It just shouldn't be this hard.
JOAN
Says who.
DALE
Says me. I've done everything I know to do to make it in this ball busting
business. Maybe I'm in the wrong line of work. I'm at the end of my twine.
I feel so scattered. On one hand, I'm so energized by the chaos and
excitement that I get from being in it and around it all. On the other hand,
sometimes foot, I can't stand this charade. I get so excited to get work,
and then when I get there, I'm treated like a child by kids younger than me.
I'm torn. More like ripped to shreds. Basically, I'm a masochist. I love
taking on work that demeans my character. I'm like the whipping boy and I
have to pretend to like it. Some days, I'm all about doing extra work, and
other day's, I'm above it and putting it down. My mood fluctuates and I've
become a real pain in the ass to my friends and co-workers.
JOAN
This is your journey Dale. Enjoy the ride. Loosen up and enjoy the ride.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You'll be able to get more focused
if you stop focusing on just one thing. Pull yourself back and widen your
view. See what's out there. You have the answer and you had better figure
it out pretty soon or it looks like Sadie may be out of the picture.
DALE
I have the answer? Since I'm paying you, could you tell me.
JOAN
I said YOU have the answer.
DALE
Are you sure? I don't feel like I have any answers.
Dale quiets for a few moments and spaces out. He shrugs it off and gets back
to the session.
DALE
It's alright. Everything is okay. I'll be alright. I'm lucky, right? I've
got an audition tomorrow. That's great. I'm happy. I feel good. I feel
great. Damn it, I feel Lucky to be alive. I feel alive. Quit being so
sensitive. Pull up your bootstraps and ride that bitch. This is good Joan.
This is real good shit, right Sadie? It's possible that it could have just
been the liver?
SADIE (ROLLING HER EYES)
What are you talking about, liver?
Dale and Sadie get up to leave and is half way out the door to the office.
JOAN
Hey Dale...Good Luck with your audition tomorrow. Good bye Sadie.
DALE
Break a leg Joan. It's break a leg. Thanks Joan, you too.
Sadie just waves after having thrown in the towel. Dale realizes what he's
said in response to Joan's encouraging remark and smacks his forehead and
shakes his head.
CUT TO:
INT.HALLWAY OF THERAPIST
SADIE
Dale, this isn't working.
DALE
Sadie, I just need some more time.
SADIE
It's not time you need, it's direction.
DALE
Okay, direction and time, but I need some time to find my direction.
SADIE
I don't have the time.
DALE
Sadie.
SADIE
I can't wait anymore. I don't have it in me to wait for you to find your
direction. You've been at this for way too long and I've been as patient as
a saint.
DALE
Yes you have been, but I need some support here.
SADIE
Dale, support. That's all I've been doing for the past four years and it's
gotten us/you here. And where the hell is that? I'm sorry Dale. I need
more. You have to do this on your own without me. I've got another place to
live. I'll be out by the weekend. I love you, but I can't stand to watch
your self esteem drop to new unbearable levels. It makes me feel like a
fool, and it should make you feel like a fool. I can't be responsible for
your feelings and I'm finding myself taking on your shame. I need some time.
I love you.
DALE
Sadie?
SADIE
Dale?
Sadie walks down the stairwell and leaves Dale standing in front of his
therapists door. Dale turns to head down the stairs after her and stops. He
turns back around and goes to Joan's door. He approaches the door and
knocks.
CUT TO:
INT.-CASTING STUDIO
Close up on Dale's day-planner which is turned to April 13th. The words in
the box read, "Audition @ 11 w/ Sam Hirsch/TV Pilot". We pan out to see Dale
waiting in the reception area running his lines with his scene partner. Dale
and Kiersten,an actress auditioning for a separate role, are being put on
tape in front of Samantha Hirsch (female casting director), Lia
Godfrey(producer) and Tommy Shiner (director). Tommy is a thirty something,
bald man by choice. The room has a table on one side and a couple of chairs
on the other. There are tape marks on the floor. Tommy and Liz are sitting
at the table across from the actors marks. Samantha walks out to the waiting
area, filled with competitive actors/actresses, and calls in Dale Singer and
Lyla Blankenship.
Lyla Blankenship and Dull Singer.
DALE
Dale.
SAMANTHA (APOLOGETIC)
Oh. That looks like an "u" to me.
DALE (CONFIDENT)
No, it's an a. See you can see the little line coming down.
SAMANTHA
Well great. Right this way. Did you both get a chance to read your sides.
They both answer "yes", as Samantha opens the studio door and the three enter
the room. Samantha makes the introductions between actors and industry
people.
SAMANTHA
Why don't you both stand over on your marks. This is Lyla Blankenship and
Dale Singer. And this is our director, Tommy Shiner and Lia Rosenblatt.
TOMMY (TO DALE)
Do you sing?
DALE
Excuse me sir?
TOMMY
Your last name is Singer, do you sing?
DALE
Yes I sing and I sew. Do you shine?
TOMMY
Are you referring to my bald head?
DALE
What head? You're not bald, you just don't have any hair. I meant it as a
compliment like shining, not Mr. Clean.
TOMMY
Can we move on.
Tommy's over him already and Lyla snickers at Dale's foot shoved down his
throat.
SAMANTHA
Okay..let's get going here. I'm going to start running video and when I
point to you, please slate your name and after the scene, I'll point again
for a tail slate. Okay..and ready.
CUT TO:
THE SCENE IS OVER AND DALE AND LYLA ARE BOTH SITTING IN CHAIRS FACING THE
THREE IN CHARGE. THEY ARE TAKING NOTES AND MUMBLING TO ONE ANOTHER.
SAMANTHA
Good work. Thank you both for coming in.
The two actor get up to leave the studio
SAMANTHA
Thank you Lyla...Dale go take a seat back where you were.
Sam shuts the door and Dale sits back down in front of the table.
LIA
Yes, we'd like to have you come in again but we need to make sure your clear
for the shoot dates.
DALE
Sure,okay.
LIA
We're looking at Monday through Wednesday June 21st through the 23rd.
Dale opens his day planner and flips to the dates in question. His pages on
all three dates are completely blank.
DALE
I do have a conflict on that Monday and possibly Tuesday as well, so...
LIA
Alright then, thanks for coming in.
DALE
Wait, wait, wait. I'll make a few calls to square this up so that I can be
available. I'm available. I'm sure it won't be a problem. Yeah, it's not
going to interfere. I'll just switch some things around. No problem, I'm
available
LIA
Are you sure?
DALE
Most definitely.
LIA
Great. We'll let you know.
DALE
Okay. That sounds wonderful. I'll be waiting to hear from you.
Thank you all so much.
Dale exits the studio, checks his watch, and gathers his portfolio. He's
made it. He has enough time to get across town for a job on a TV series.
It's extra work, but it's work and it doesn't seem as bad today with a
legitimate audition (which went really well) already under his belt. He has
some hope and not even extra work can't take that away from him.
CUT TO:
EXT.-BASEMENT OF A CHURCH/EXTRAS HOLDING AREA
Close up of Dale's day-planner which is flipped to May 7th. In the box
reads,"Extra Work am Call". Pan out to watch Dale follow the yellow arrows
to holding area and proudly enter the room. The room is filled with women
and men of all ages sitting around in all corners and tables of the room.
Some are sitting in groups spatting out verbal resume's, while others are on
cell phones or reading books, trades or sides. When Dale enters, the room is
peppered with "hey Dale's" from his usual suspects. Dale picks up a "Hello,
my name is .... and fills in his name and applies the sticker to his shirt.
Everyone in the room has these stickers on their person. It becomes obvious
that not only Dale has been doing this "extra thing" for quite some time. We
get a sense of a community of extras that have known one another for years
and decades for others.
DALE
AA meetings and Extra's holding areas. Where would they put everyone if
church's didn't have basements? The better question is why don't church's
use their basements?
ROGER
Oh Dale, I'm glad you're here. Maybe you can solve our debate over "Cats".
I saw "Cats" a couple of months ago for the first time and we were arguing
about when it first opened. I said it's been the longest running show on
Broadway and I know that you've seen it.
DALE
Roger, it's been so long ago that I can't even remember. It was called
"Kittens" when I saw it. That's how long it's been, and who gives a shit
about a bunch of people dressed up like felines. That's not acting, that's
playacting. It's cheating. The costumes are the draw, not the performance
of the actors. They might as well be giving out free chicken wings in a
chicken suit in front of the Winter Garden Theater. So are we all ready for
another day of filling in the blanks?
JENNIFER
Yeah, I need help with this crossword puzzle.
ROGER
Did it really start out as "Kittens"? Fill in what blanks?
DALE
The blanks on set. We fill space. We are what makes it look real. Without
us, it would just be a few people talking about whatever appearing to live in
a vacuum. It's kind of like, without the public, stars wouldn't be stars.
The common people create the fame. It's not the other way around. Without
the ordinary people, we would all be ordinary. When I say we, I mean us
actors.
JENNIFER
You just came from an audition.
DALE
Which went very, very well indeed.
JENNIFER
You're so predictable. You could never be a criminal or even play one on TV.
ROGER
I don't look at it that way, filling in the blanks. It's so damn negative.
DALE
Oh Jerry, give me a break. How else do you see it. Are we acting?
ROGER
I am, and you just called yourself an actor Mr. Al Seimers.
DALE
Today you are acting? That's what you're saying. Does anyone have a
dictionary? Let's look up acting. What is acting Roger? Being instructed on
every move you make when you hit the set? Being cued for every move you
make? Cut through form here to there. Hold this umbrella. Use a normal
stride. And most important, DO NOT look at the camera. The term "Cattle
Call" wasn't coined in Montana. We're cattle dude.
JENNIFER (OFF CAMERA)
I'm not a cow Dale.
DALE
Yes you are and so am I. I don't give a shit, but at least let's face the
reality that we're in. We are livestock for fuck's sake.
ROGER
Dale, if today you want to be a cow, then go for it. But I was told we we're
supposed to be Wall Street types today, and that's what I am.
DALE
Yes, but your not acting like a Wall Street type. You just have clothes that
hang on you to give the appearance of that type. Your a hanger Roger.
ROGER
I thought we were cattle.
DALE
No, were hanger steaks.
JENNIFER
It's making a living in the biz.
DALE
Barely, and for who? It's a constant humiliation which takes us further from
our dream. We might just as well be bartending or working in an office
somewhere. Listen, all I'm saying is that it's not what I had in mind for
myself when I first moved to New York.
JENNIFER
Well, Downer Dale. I happen to think that extras are the most important part
of the scene.
DALE
Oh really. You feel important. Important people are not crammed in a room
together like a chicken coop. They might as well cut off our beaks, because
we don't say anything anyway. We are the ones to eat last on the set. Last
Jennifer. Even after PA's. We're lower than PA's. These twenty-something
slackers that just moved to NY from small town Texas have it better than us
New Yorkers.
ROGER
You're not a New Yorker Dale.
DALE
I've been here over the ten year mark and have spent a majority of my
adulthood in this city. By amnesty, that makes all of us New Yorkers. Be
proud of that. Where was I. Oh yeah. I was telling Jennifer how it is.
JENNIFER
Yeah. Thanks Dale. I'm glad I have you as my guide.
DALE
Thank you Jenn. You should be. Okay, I was talking about...what was I
saying?
JENNIFER
Nothing.
DALE
No, not true. I had a point.
JENNIFER
The point is Dale, if your not happy with what your doing, then YOU change
it. Your opinions do not reflect the views of everyone in this room. If
your so damn unhappy and mistreated, then what the fuck are you doing in this
church basement on a Friday morning. You hate church! The reason I see us as
important is; if we didn't exist, us extras, what would it be like to watch
anything on film or television? It would look flat. The story wouldn't
translate without other people around the main characters. Yes, maybe we do
fill in the blanks, but if we didn't, the scene would be blank. We bring a
dimension of reality to a scene. You've got to have a background of people.
If we don't, we don't believe. You are what you believe, not what other
people believe. Who you are comes from within and not the other way around.
You can't rely on outside validation.
DALE
Outside validation,huh? Isn't that the point of this business? Isn't that
why we all want to be actors? By the way Jenn, I have a therapist, but I'll
call you if things change.
ROGER
We are actors.
DALE (OVERLY DRAMATIC)
No Roger. Your wrong. Right this moment, we are extras. Remember the first
words out of Judith Silver's mouth? Do ya? "YOU ARE NOT ACTORS". If you
respect the woman, than you have to respect her words. I want more, I tell
you. Damn it.. To me or not to me, I want more.
The room burst into laughter. Some are laughing with but most are laughing
at Dale. While the extras are horse playing, one of the twenty-something
PA's enters the room. He kills the mood, and all of the extras gather
around. Roger walks over to Dale
ROGER
Dale, would you like to get some lunch or dinner some time this week? It's
on me.
DALE
Sure, sounds good. Call me and let me know.
P.A. (AUTHORITATIVE)
What are you guys up to? Stop fucking around. We're paying you
to...whatever, we're not paying you to fuck off. Now listen. This shoot is
going late so we broke for dinner about an hour ago, so the cast and crew
have already eaten. I need you to go up in groups of ten every five minutes.
EXTRA
Do you have any idea how late the shoot is going to go?
P.A.
No. Don't ask me again.
EXTRA
What's for dinner?
P.A.
Leftovers. Is this your first "extra gig"? You should know by now, that you
guys are at the low end of the totem pole. You get to eat whatever is left.
(he laughs) (shouting/self-important) Listen up everyone. My job isn't to
answer any of your questions, so just listen to me and follow my direction.
I've got a full plate today, not to mention the full plate of gourmet food I
just ate. See, you guys don't understand how important my role is on the
set, and you waste my time with your petty questions. Let's quit acting like
children and start trying to act more adult-like.
The PA yanks out a yellow rope with loops every so often.
Now I need you to form a single file line and each of you put your right hand
in a loop in the rope. I'll let you know when and where you can go. If
anyone needs anything, raise your hand first before you just unleash yourself
and leave the line. Okay, no questions, good. Let's go.
The extras form a line and rope off their own hands in yellow rope like
preschoolers on a field trip.
CUT TO:
EXT.-CRAFT SERVICE TABLE
The extras start lining up in front of the table to get the rest of the
scraps left behind by the cast and crew. The pickins are slim and the food
is cold. Dale and his friends look over to the grip truck and some of the
union guys are still eating. One of the union guys has his dog tied to the
grip truck. The dog is eating slices of prime rib on a paper plate. Dale
and his friends look around for the prime beef and spot a chafing pan with
crumbles of meat which once held the prime rib. The craft service man is
standing behind the table getting things cleared up. He's ready to go and is
yanking empty containers to clean up.
DALE
Do you have anymore of the prime beef?
CRAFT SERVICE
Isn't there anymore in there? (he checks the pan) Hmm...I guess not. I
guess the dog got the last of it.
DALE (TO HIMSELF)
Fucking union guys.
CRAFT SERVICE
No. It was their dog.
DALE
I know. I saw. That's how I knew that you had prime beef.
CRAFT SERVICE
What's up your ass dude?
DALE
Cold food and no prime beef for starts.
CRAFT SERVICE
Not my problem. Deal(leans over to read his name tag) Dale. (laughs to
himself) Deal Dale. (laughs again)
DALE (JOINING IN WITH A FAKE CONDESCENDING LAUGH)
Deal Dale? That's real funny. Did you ever stop to think that maybe
catering isn't your bag. How hard is it to prepare enough food for a set. I
cater in between these jobs and seem to be able to deal. It's mindless work.
A fucking monkey can do it. From the hair coming out from the back of your
shirt, it looks like you might be primate. The primate ran out of prime
beef. I think that's better than deal Dale. It's simple fucking math. Maybe
show business is more your line of work. You seem to have a real knack for
comedy.
Right after the word comedy comes from Dale's mouth, the caterers fist lands
right in his nose. Dale wobbles, grabs the table for support and drops to
the ground, yanking the remainder of the food for the extras with him. He's
lying on the ground with the table on top of him, unconscious, nose bleeding
and pasta salad and various other foods scattered about. His extra
colleagues stand above him, arms crossed, with disgust and hunger in their
eyes. The leftovers they've been waiting for are covering Dale. Dales cell
phone rings. He reaches for it in his pocket and puts it to his head, still
laying out on the ground covered in food.
CARLA
Dale?
DALE
Dale Singer.
CARLA
I know, Dale.
DALE
Who's calling?
CARLA
Stop it, it's Carla.
DALE
Oh, what's up?
CARLA
I was calling about Samantha Hirsch.
DALE
Yes? Samantha Hirsch, the casting director? Did I get the pilot? I
auditioned for her a few weeks back.
CARLA
I know this. Slow down Dale.
DALE
This is great. I didn't expect to hear back so soon.
CARLA
Dale. Easy.
DALE
Finally. This is good. I feel good. Carla, sorry if I've been a pain in
the ass, it's just that...
CARLA
Dale, listen to me. Shut up for one second.
DALE
Okay. It's just, well exciting. This could be it. This is part of my
journey. When does she want to see me.
CARLA
Tonight. Ms. Hirsch, the casting director that you auditioned for, is having
a party this evening.
DALE
Yeah? I'm listening.
CARLA
Well, she called our office and remembered you from the audition and has
asked me to see if you were available tonight.
DALE (LIT UP)
Let me check my book.
CARLA
Dale, I know your free and you need the money.
DALE (CHECKING HIS BLANK DATES)
Uhm...let's see Carla, it does look as though I'm free tonight. Is it dressy
or casual. Where's her pad? If it's downtown, maybe I should just go hip. I
do have a tux, but It's a little ratty. I call it my catering outfit. (the
word money just registers) Did you say money? That's ridiculous. She
doesn't need to pay me to come to her party. I'm flattered, but more than
elated to be there.
CARLA
That tux you have will be fine. I know it's not ideal, but her caterer had a
waiter cancel last minute and he can't find anyone, so Samantha called to ask
me to call you to see if you'd be available?
Silence on the phone
CARLA
Dale?
DALE
I'm here, just stunned. I'm checking my book, hold on. It does look like I
have something going on tonight. I'm sorry Carla, I was looking at the wrong
day.
CARLA
Dale, I know this isn't what you want, but it could be a good opportunity for
you. She remembered you. That's good. This would give you a great chance
to make more of an impression on her. She's busy Dale, and I know that
you're not, so you should really consider this.
DALE
What's it pay?
CARLA
I'll find out. Will you do it?
DALE
Depends on the pay.
CARLA
Dale?
DALE
Fuck it. Okay, fax the info to my office.
CARLA
All I have is your home fax number.
DALE
That's it. That's my office.
CARLA
Good job Dale. This could work out real well for you. You never know in
this business. I'll send you the details.
DALE
Thanks Carla, I guess.
Dale shuts his phone and wipes the food off with the only clean part of his
shirt which is tucked in his pants. He gets up and picks the food off from
him.
CUT TO:
INT.-SAMANTHA'S APARTMENT DOOR-EVENING
Dale is standing outside the apartment in a tuxedo. He knocks on the door.
Samantha answers the door.
SAMANTHA
Yes.
DALE
I'm Dale.
SAMANTHA
Who are you looking for?
DALE
I'm here for the party.
SAMANTHA
Oh you must be with the caterer. Go see Rob, he's in the kitchen.
DALE
I just thought...don't you remember me from the audition yesterday.
SAMANTHA
Oh, that's right. He's in the kitchen straight back.
Dale enters her apartment which is tastefully designed.
He walks to the kitchen and places his belongings on a chair.
DALE
You're Rob?
ROB
That's me. Who are you.
DALE
I'm Dale. I'm filling in for the waiter that cancelled.
ROB
Oh yes, the actor. Thanks for coming on such short notice. Most cater
waiters are want to be actors, did you know that? Could you give me a hand
with these little guys.
Dale assists Rob in placing pigs in a blanket on a cookie sheet.
DALE
Am I the only server?
ROB
No, there is another waitress, Amy, who should be here by now. How did you
get roped into this?
DALE
I know the woman holding the party.
ROB
Oh really, how do you know her?
DALE
Well I've done some work for her in the past as an actor. She's hired me for
a few different roles.
ROB
Anything that I would have seen.
DALE
Probably not. I did a tanning cream commercial that aired in South America
for a short time, and a Kentucky Fried Chicken spot that aired in Europe
somewhere. I think France.
ROB
Speaking of food, we need to arrange these little appetizers on a tray
DALE
Are these the hors d'oeuvres?
ROB
This is it. The first, second and third course. Seven hundred and fifty of
these little guys. She has a separate freezer full of these frozen goodies.
DALE
That seems a bit obsessive and aren't they considered a bit trashy for a
cocktail party?
ROB
I guess maybe but we grew up on them and can't seem to get enough of them.
They remind us of our childhood back in the Midwest. Don't knock them till
you've tried one. You'll see, they'll be gobbled up by these uppity people
in no time.
DALE
You said we grew up on them. Do you mean me and you.
ROB
I didn't grow up with you Dale. Sam is my kid sister.
DALE
Gotcha.
ROB
I would like to see some of those commercials that you did. I'll bet Sam has
them on tape. She saves everything she's ever done.
DALE
Oh. I'm sure she probably didn't hang on to them. I didn't even get a copy.
I'm not even sure if they made it to the air.
ROB
Trust me, if she cast you in those spots, I guarantee you, she's got them.
I'd like to see them...maybe after the party. So this is going to be a
relatively laid back crowd and we're just passing drinks and hors d'oeuvres
DALE
What's the occasion?
ROB
Does it matter?
DALE
Well, sort of. I like to know what people are celebrating so I can get into
the groove.
ROB
You mean rut, not groove.
DALE
No groove.
ROB
Rut Dale. I've been there. Let's call it what it is.
DALE
I just thought it might be nice to know what was going on.
ROB
You weren't invited, so what difference does it make?
DALE
Did I say something that pissed you off?
ROB
Who knows? She throws these things from time to time. Probably some
industry thing. It's funny, but I used to be an actor, but I started making
a better living at catering and I'm actually good at what I do. I really
enjoy it and Sam passes me loads of industry business. Catering has given me
more opportunities for contacts and acting roles than my agent could ever
line up. It's funny how life works. I don't have any interest in that shit
anymore. As soon as I decided that I didn't want it, it came to me. I was
flooded with acting opportunities. I guess the desperation subsided and I
became more approachable. I think people pick up on that desperate shit. It
scares them in a Fatal Attraction sort of way.
DALE
Yeah...I know. You got to act like you don't give a shit.
ROB
That's not exactly what I meant. I learned a lot from my kid sis about this
business. She's respected in the industry and knows her shit. She can read
a person a mile away and by the time you reach her, she's got your number.
Amy races in.
AMY
Rob...Sorry I'm late. The fucking trains aren't running.
ROB
No prob. Dale's been giving me a hand. Dale this is Amy, our other
waiter/waitress.
AMY
Hello Dale. Thanks for showing up. I thought I was flying solo tonight.
DALE
No solo tonight. I'm your copilot, you just let me know what to do.
AMY
That's great. I'll take care of the bar and passing of the drinks if you
want to pass the wienies.
DALE
That makes the most sense. You get them liquored up and I'll try to get rid
of these stubby wieners.
ROB
I'm tellin' you.
People start showing up and the party is in full swing. Dale and Amy are
zigzagging between the guests with cocktails and wienies. Dale recognizes a
few of his acting buddies and some different casting directors, producers,
directors, etc... He also recognizes some familiar faces that he can't
place. He returns to the kitchen with an empty tray.
DALE
Rob, you weren't kidding..people love these little turds.
ROB
See.
DALE
They're eating them up by the fistful.
ROB
Just keep em passing. We've got plenty.
Dale exchanges his empty tray for a fresh filled and starts off into the
crowded room. He makes a few passes and he senses a strong feeling hitting
his whole body. He tries to ignore his urge, but it persists. His skin
starts to tingle and he as at the verge of a toxic sweat. He heads to the
bathroom and enters with the tray. He sets the tray half eaten, on the
vanity. He runs over to the toilet, releases his cummerbund, unzips his
trousers and squats over the toilet releasing his load mid air. He has a bad
case of diarrhea. He pans the bathroom picking up magazines and bottles of
lotion and perfume. He squirts the perfume to mask his odor, but the nozzle
is pointed towards his tuxedo. He's sprayed himself in the face. Outside
the bathroom, he hears party sounds. He overhears, "Did you try those little
appetizers?, Where's the wiener boy?" Dale is trying to focus on downloading
his virus as soon as possible. He's lost in his own world. The more he
concentrates, the longer it takes. A cat leaps out from the pantry closet
and scares the shit out of Dale(not literally). The cat walks over to Dale
and starts doing figure 8's between his lower legs. Dale reaches down to pet
the cat.
DALE
Hey kitty. You're beautiful aren't you? Yes you are. What's your name? Do
you have a name? That feels good, huh?
The cat get's a whiff of Dale's odor and by instinct, begins to paw at the
floor as if to cover up it's own shit.
DALE (LAUGHING AT THE CAT)
What are you doing? That's hilarious. You're not making the stink, I am,
you silly kitty.
The cat jumps into the litter box next to the toilet and joins Dale in a shit
down. Dale watches the cat, having nothing better to do with his time as he
is trapped on the pot. As the cat finishes his business, he paws at the
kitty litter to cover his job. The cat leaps out and Dale spots something on
the bottom of the litter box. He wraps his hands in TP and starts digging
through the litter. By displacing the litter, he observes that the bottom of
the cat tray is lined with glossy paper. He scoops everything to one corner
of the box and realizes that there are number of head-shots facing up, lining
the bottom of the litter box. He clearly recognizes one of the faces. It's
as though he's looking in a mirror. It's his own and it has a semi-dried,
whittish-tan, cat turd stuck to his face. He finishes his business on the
toilet and get's up leaving his cummerbund on the floor. Dale wraps both of
his hands in toilet paper and pulls his head-shot from the litter box. The
turd is still stuck to his face. He flushes the toilet and grabs the tray in
one hand and his head-shot is in the other and hands are both clad in tp. He
opens the door another casting director/guest of the party walks in after him
wincing. He marches into the party looking for Samantha. Guest are taking
the wienies from his tray as he hunts down Sam. He spots her across the room
and approaches her talking to 3 other guests. He's very timid and soft
spoken. He dances around the room after her with his tray of weiners in one
hand and his litter liner head-shot in the other behind his back as if it's a
surprise for Sam.
DALE
I'm sorry, Ms. Hirsch?
She hold up a finger as if to say give me a second.
DALE
Okay.
Dale waits for her and she walks off to talk with another group of guest. He
tracks her.
DALE
Ms. Hirsch?
Samantha turns around and grabs a wiener off of the tray and plops it into
her mouth.
SAMANTHA
These little things are evil. I've eaten way too many. Pass them on the
other side of the room. Thanks.
DALE
Okay, but can I ask you something real quick?
SAMANTHA
You should talk to Rob if you have any questions. He's in charge of this
deal.
DALE
It's not that. It's just that I wanted to know if I could show you something.
SAMANTHA
No business, this is a party.
DALE
It will just take a second.
SAMANTHA
Hurry up.
Dale pulls his head-shot up for her to see. There's a dried cat turd stuck
to his face
DALE
Okay, I'm sorry, but what's this?
SAMANTHA
It looks like a litter liner to me.
DALE
A litter liner? It's my head-shot.
SAMANTHA
Is that you?
Dale shakes the picture and the turd falls onto the tray.
DALE
See. It's my head-shot.
He puts the picture next to his own head for comparison.
SAMANTHA
I see a resemblence.
DALE
I think it fell into your cat's litter box.
SAMANTHA
No, I put it there. It saves me money on box liners.
DALE
Oh. I got the impression that maybe these were filed away somewhere at your
office.
SAMANTHA
Did I give you that impression?
DALE
I just assumed that's how it went down. I have a cleaner head-shot with me.
Would you like me to leave it with Rob?
One of the guest walks by Dale and grabs an unappetizing appetizer. She
freaks out and spits the cat shit on the floor and runs to the bathroom.
Dale leans down to grab the eaten turd off of the floor with some cocktail
napkins, and the wieners roll off of the tray onto the floor. He's on his
hands and knees chasing these rollers. Dale looks up at Samantha.
DALE
So should I leave that with Rob?
SAMANTHA
No, I think you should just leave.
DALE
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help.
SAMANTHA (SCREAMING TO THE KITCHEN)
Rob, get in here please.
ROB
What's up sis? Dale, what are you doing?
SAMANTHA
He's ruining my party, that's what he's doing. He fed one of my guest Mimi's
feces.
DALE
No I didn't. It was a mistake.
SAMANTHA
Hiring you was a mistake, and Rob, I want you to fix it.
Rob helps Dale up off the floor and starts picking up the pieces. He sets
everything on the table and escorts Dale to the door.
DALE
It's not how it went down Rob. I assure you.
ROB
Anything my sister wants, my sister gets.
DALE
Really, like your little wieners?
ROB
We're not like that, now get out.
DALE
Rob, I was kidding. Come on, why would I feed these people cat shit. I need
to make a an impression.
ROB
Oh, I'm sure you made an impression. Time to go buddy.
DALE
My stuff.
ROB
I'll get it, just wait here in the hallway.
Rob places Dale in front of the door and slams the door on his face. He
stands there shaking his head. He never expected it to turn out like this.
He is going over it in his mind. The door opens, and his belongings are
thrown at him into the hallway. The door slams shut and Dale reaches down to
gather his things. As he stands back up to leave, the door opens again, and
Rob flings his head-shot, with traces of cat shit, and it floats like a
feather to the floor.
DALE (AS THE DOOR IS SLAMMED IN HIS FACE)
Thanks Rob. Nice to meet you.
His picture lands on her doormat. He looks down at himself and sees himself
as a doormat. The picture is speckled in cat litter and smears of cat shit.
He leaves the picture and turns to head down the stairs,
CUT TO:
INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-MORNING
Dale is up and has put the past evening behind him. He's preparing his
resume and stuffing 8x10's into envelopes. He's mapping out a plan of action
for the day. He's writing down addresses and is getting everything ready for
a productive day. He's dressed smart but casual.
EXT.-NYC STREET
Dale stops at the street corner down from his building and one by one feeds
the mailbox with his envelopes.
CUT TO:
VARIOUS OFFICES
Dale enters a variety of office buildings and heads up to the offices of
casting directors, agents, production companies, etc...He never makes it past
the receptionist, who usually pitch it into the trash once he's out of sight.
He hand delivers his head-shot to different firms throughout the day.
CUT TO:
INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-LATE AFTERNOON
Dale is taking a cat nap on his couch after a hard day of canvassing. He's
fallen asleep with all of his acting provisions scattered about and one of
his head-shots under his head. The phone rings. Being too worn out, he
allows his machine to do the honor's.
ANSWERING MACHINE
Hello, you've reached Dale Singer, actually you haven't reached me at all,
you've reached my machine which if you kindly leave a message, my machine
will be glad to pass it along to me when I arrive.
MIRANDA
Dale, it's Miranda from Samantha Hirsh's office.
Dale half wakes up and flips off the answering machine.
MIRANDA(CONT'D)
I'm calling about the audition back on the 13th of April. The agency and
director want to see you tomorrow for a callback if your available.
Dale sits up with a head-shot stuck to his cheek. He grabs for the phone.
DALE
Miranda. Miranda, it's Dale. What's up?
MIRANDA
Why did you just let me ramble?
DALE
I just got in. I was out all day. Hang on, let me put my stuff down.
Dale grabs a glossy and a marker and comes back to the phone. He pulls his
head-shot from his face and flips it over to take down the info. There is a
trace of his face on his face from the picture.
DALE (CONT'D)
Okay sorry Miranda, I just walked in when you called. So what's up?
MIRANDA
You sound groggy.
DALE
Me. Groggy. No, I don't think so. It could be the connection. What's up.
MIRANDA
They want you back in for a callback tomorrow.
DALE
Who? Samantha?
MIRANDA
No, the agency and the director.
DALE
Tomorrow huh?
MIRANDA
Dale, don't give me that I'm busy shit. I've got a lot of phone calls to
make.
DALE
Hey, hang on there. I do have a life whether you want to believe it or not
and I do believe I have something going on tomorrow, just give me a second to
look at my book.
Dale grabs his book and flips to the date in question which is fully blank.
The day after he has a meeting with his shrink but other than that, clear.
DALE (CONT'D)
Okay, now you said tomorrow, that's the 23rd right? What time do they want
me in there Miranda?
MIRANDA
Late morning, say 11:15.
DALE
Could we make it just a little earlier? I have a meeting way downtown at
noon and I need time to get there.
MIRANDA
How's 11?
DALE
Nothing earlier huh?
MIRANDA
Dale.
DALE
I know, I know, just let me try to work this out. I have a 9:30 that might
run long but I could probably switch that to later in the afternoon. Can I
call you back?
MIRANDA
No
DALE
Eleven's fine. I'll see you then. Oh Miranda, what should I wear.
MIRANDA
Clothes
Miranda hangs up. Dale jumps up and down like a kid in a moon-walk with the
remanent of ink from his picture on his cheek.
CUT TO:
INT.-CASTING STUDIO
Close up on Dale's day-planner flipped to May 23rd. In the box reads,
"CALLBACK MOTHAFUCKA-11AM TV PILOT". Camera pans out to watch Dale slam his
day-planner shut, and strut to the session. He exits as soon as he enters,
time lapse, strutting with his head in the clouds.
ROGER
Dale, Dale. Wait up.
DALE
Hey Rog. What brings you here?
ROGER
I was called back for this pilot.
DALE
No shit. Me too.
ROGER
How did it go?
DALE
Nailed it. How bout you?
ROGER
I think they liked me, but who the fuck knows. You can never tell with these
fucking people. They'relike riddles and I've never liked riddles. So what's
your schedule for the rest of the day? Do you want to do lunch?
DALE
I'll check my book.
He puts down his Variety and Backstage and opens his book to today's date.
The only thing he has going on for today has just taken place. Clear from
here.
DALE
I just have a few phone calls to make and then I should be clear.
ROGER
Well yeah, I should switch some shit around to make some time for us. How's
midtown for you?
DALE
My ex works in midtown.
ROGER
Ex?
DALE
We've separated for a while.
Roger has no idea of Dale's personal life.
ROGER
Well, midtown is a big town.
DALE
You're right. Chances are..you're right.
ROGER
Great. I know a indiscreet place that serves the best martini lunch.
CUT TO:
INT.-"MANHATTAN UP"-A SUIT AND TIE RESTAURANT IN MIDTOWN.
Roger and Dale walk through the doors way under-dressed. They both are
wearing a bit of self applied make-up from the callback. It's very possible
that Roger's make-up is a daily chore, callback or not.
HOSTESS
Are you guys lost? Grand Central Station right. You go back out of the
doors and make a right until...
ROGER
Excuse me. We live here and we don't need directions to Grand Central. How
long have you lived her missy?
HOSTESS
Three months.
ROGER
We're native actors and we've come for a liquid lunch. We're on a break from
our shoot.
HOSTESS
I see, so, two for lunch then?
ROGER
Yes, and could we have one of your cozy booths.
HOSTESS
I'll see what we have.
She leaves to peruse the room.
ROGER
They have these big huge cushy booths with high backs that you can get lost
in.
DALE
Sounds comfortable. I'm not so sure I can really afford..
ROGER
It's on me slick.
DALE
You think I'm slick. Slick's good, right?
ROGER
Loosen up my man.
The hostess returns
HOSTESS (TO DALE)
Looks like it's your lucky day. Follow me.
They both follow her to a big red cushioned booth and sit. She hands them a
cocktail menu and a lunch menu.
HOSTESS
Would you guys like anything from the bar.
ROGER
Does an actor like the spot-lite. Two of the Manhattan Up Martini's up.
DALE
I'll have mine straight.
HOSTESS
One up and one straight. Got it.
DALE
What's good here?
ROGER
We just ordered the specialty of the house.
DALE
I'm not big on a martini lunch. I need more than olives.
ROGER
Order whatever you want. I'm fine with the olives.
Hours have passed and Roger and Dale are both schnockered. Roger more so
than Dale. The business crowd has come in and tables are filled with men and
women in suits. Roger gets up to go to the bathroom. We follow him to the
bathroom and he relieves himself. When he's finished, he looks into the
mirror, tidies himself up and squirts a fine mist of Binaca onto his tongue
before heading back to the table. He arrives at the table to see Dale
slouched down in the booth He grabs Dale under his arms and pulls him up.
Dale's head wobbles into Roger's shoulder and Roger's tongue is down Dale's
throat in seconds. Across the room is a table of 5 business men and 2
business women.
BUSINESS MAN 1
Sadie, isn't that your husband Dale over there?
SADIE
Where?
BUSINESS MAN 1
Over there kissing that other man.
Dale is shocked and drunk and doesn't know what's hit him. He is stunned and
afraid to pull away for fear that he might be seen.
SADIE
No, Dale would never come to a place like this. He doesn't even know they
exist.
She takes a closer look.
SADIE
No, why would he be here and why would he be with another guy like that.
Stop busting my balls Malcolm.
The table of business people turn back to their business but Sadie studies
the two men. She's concentrating at the business at the other table rather
than the business at her own. The lot of the restaurant is watching two men
make out in the booth. This wouldn't be uncommon if we were in Chelsea, but
mid town is a different crowd. Sadie excuses herself from the table. She
walks past the two men on her way to the bathroom and recognizes Dale. Dale
catches a glimpse of her and pulls himself away from Roger. Dale heads to
the head to catch her. She's waiting for him by the bathrooms.
SADIE
Dale, what the fuck?
DALE (HICCUPING)
I have no idea. I really don't. Sadie, what are you doing here?
SADIE
I work in this area and we have business lunches here all the time. I've
told you about this place so many times. Have you ever listened to anything
I've said. So what, are you gay now?
DALE
Oh come on. That's such a crock of shit.
SADIE
That looked gay to me.
DALE
I know how it looked, but it wasn't my idea. I really need to wash my mouth.
I'm drunk and I want to get the fuck out of here.
SADIE
You really need to wash your hands of this/our relationship.
DALE
Sadie. Give me a break.(laughing like she's nuts) I'm going to go rinse out
my mouth and I'll call you later.
SADIE
Don't bother. You've humiliated yourself, not to mention me in
front of my colleagues.
DALE
Sadie. I'm just as shocked as you. Come on now, you know me. My mouth.
I'll call you.
Dale walks into the bathroom and turns back to Sadie shouting obnoxiously out
of the mens room door.
DALE
I'm just drunk. I'll give you a call later. Christ Sadie, I'm not gay!
SADIE
Tell that to your boyfriend in the booth!
All of the men look at Dale in the bathroom. He turns on the tap and wets a
paper towel and proceeds to wash his tongue.
CUT TO:
INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT
Dale enters and listens to his messages. He's a bit buzzed.
ANSWERING MACHINE
Hey Dale it's Jimmy from Ordinary Casting. It says here that you roller
blade. I have a job for you June 5th if you're available. Call me at the
office for details.
Dale stops the machine and calls Ordinary Casting.
GRETCHEN
Ordinary Casting, this is Gretchen.
DALE (SLURRING)
Hey Greta, it's Dale Singer. Jimmy called about a shoot on June 5th and it
had something to do with roller blading.
GRETCHEN
Gretchen, hold please.
Dale goes to grab a pen and paper while he's on hold. Gretchen returns and
Dale scribbles down the dope.
DALE
Yes, I'm still here. This isn't Gretchen. It's Dale. Dale Singer. I think
you have the wrong line. Uh huh. Yes I have my own blades. Right. I know
where that is. Okay. This is for tomorrow right? Oh yeah, that's right,
June 5th.
GRETCHEN
Someone sounds like they have a drinking problem. Middle of the day, Dale?
DALE
I'm just tired. No, I know. I'll be there. Hey Greta Thanks. I'm sorry,
what was that. No really Gretta, what did you say. Okay, well thanks again
and I'll call you. No, I know, I'm sorry, I'll see you tomorrow, or I'm
going to be there on June 5th.
Dale hangs up the phone and calls Roger. He gets his machine. He grabs his
day planner and flips it to June 5th. He writes in the box with a thick
sharpie, "Feature Film-EXTRA WORK am".
DALE
Hey Roger, it's Dale. I know you have to have a pair of roller blades and
we're about the same size. I need to borrow them for a shoot next week if
that's okay by you. Give me a jingle when you get in. Thanks for lunch
today. I have to say, you caught me off guard. No hard feelings and I'm
sure hard feeling is what was on your mind. I'm flattered but straight. I
know, an actor in New York. He's either not an actor or he's the last to
know he's gay. Even his boyfriend can't convince him. But for now, I
consider myself to be an admirer of the female gender. Later.
Dale hangs up the phone and looks at himself in the mirror with pathetic
eyes. He's a little disturbed at the message he just left for Roger. He
picks up the phone and hits redial.
DALE
Roger hey, it's Dale. Hey uh...disregard that previous message. Need to
borrow your blades bro asap. I need to do a little practicing for a roller-
blader role. Give me a buzz. Later.
Dale plays the rest of his messages on his machine.
ANSWERING MACHINE
Dale, it's Miranda from Sam Hirsch Casting. I'm calling to check your
availability for a fitting tomorrow for the pilot. Your the director's first
choice for the part. Please call me as soon as you get this message.
Dale stops the machine and calls Miranda.
MIRANDA
Sam Hirsch Casting.
DALE
Miranda, It's Dale Singer.
MIRANDA
Congratulations. Are you available June 5th, for a fitting.
Dale looks at his day-planner. For the first time he has a conflict and the
box is taken up.
DALE
Thanks...that's fabulous news. I'm so excited. That's so awesome. I knew I
nailed it. Uhm..could I come in for the fitting towards late afternoon?
MIRANDA
That's fine. How's 5:30 sound.
DALE
That should be fine. I've got an early shoot that day and I'm sure I'll be
done by then.
MIRANDA
Hang on, and I'll get you the details.
Dale is elated waiting for Miranda to get back. What a day he's having.
He's thinking that maybe Roger's kiss was good luck.
DALE
I'm here. Okay 5:30 on June 5th at Bryant Park. Just in the park somewhere
or..Okay got it on the corner of West 41st and 6th Ave. That's great...do I
need to bring anything like some wardrobe, head-shots, SAG card?
MIRANDA
Dale, you got the part. You don't need your head-shot, they know what you
look like and they are fitting you for wardrobe so just show up.
DALE
I'm there. Miranda, thank you so much. You've made my day.
MIRANDA
I just made the call. You did the rest.
DALE
Your the best. This is good. Really good stuff.
Dale hangs up the phone and white outs the previous entry. He blows it dry
and makes room for "WARDROBE FITTING and FEATURE FILM EXTRA WORK" on the June
5th page. He gets up and paces back and forth through his apartment as if
he's walking down a long aisle and when he gets to the mirror by his door, he
takes steps in the air as if to walk up to a stage. He stands in front of
his "last take" mirror by the apartment door and gives himself a look over.
This is his mirror that he uses as he leaves his apartment everyday. It is
now acting as his podium. He starts his acceptance speech for his academy
award. He's been doing this for years.
DALE
Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me. I've
been rehearsing this speech for years in front of a mirror on the wall of my
studio apartment. It feels a bit strange not seeing myself in the mirror as
I give this speech to my peers and colleagues, so I brought the mirror with
me.
He stops and goes over to his desk to get his shit together for his full day
tomorrow. He sits down and signs a few head-shots to some fantasy fans in
his head. He grabs the phone to give Sadie the news. He gets her machine.
DALE
Hey honey, it's Dale. Just wanted to let you know I got that pilot and I'm
also doing some extra work tomorrow on a feature. My day has been really
full not to mention I kissed my first man today. That was not what it looked
like. His tongue was down my throat before I could say I'm not gay, which
I'm not. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I'm fairly certain,
I'm damn certain, that I like women. Anyway, I just wanted to share the good
news with you about my work. Things are looking up. It's weird how things
work. Just when you're about to throw it all away, it just..
The machine cuts him off. He starts to go through his wardrobe to pick out
things to wear for his extra gig which is over a week away. He throws a
bunch of his clothes on his bed and get's bored quickly. Dale feels
something sore on his face and he goes to the bathroom and checks it out in
the mirror. He's got a massive zit forming at the tip of his nose. He goes
after with passion getting different tools involved.
CUT TO:
EXT.-NYC STREET
Close up on Dale's day-planner which reads, "FEATURE-EXTRA WORK am". The
page is flipped to June 5th. The camera pans out as the sun starts rising on
a crew setting up a shot for a NYC street scene. The street is blocked off
and lights are being placed, tents are being raised, director chairs are
being unfolded, electric cables are laid and taped, etc....This is a big
budget feature with big names attached and you can tell by the expense of the
operation.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT.-EXTRA'S HOLDING AREA
Dale and his extra friends are all clad in summer activity gear. Dale has a
red bulbous nose from the previous nights self inflicted surgery on his nose.
Some are wearing jogging outfits, while others are shielded in roller blading
guards. Others have their bicycles with helmets and there are a few skate
boarders. Roger enters running a little late carrying his roller blades.
DALE
Roger, thank God. Where the fuck have you been?
ROGER
The F fucking train. You know.
DALE
Did you bring the pads?
ROGER
Right here in my bag. What's up with your nose?
DALE
I think it's a spider bite. So, I've done this before but it's been a while.
I think I might need a little refresher course?
ROGER
Looks like a huge fuckin' zit to me. Are you sure you've done this?
DALE
Rogie? Of course I know what I'm doing. (Whispering) It is a zit. Do you
think make-up can do anything with this thing. I mean, it's got it's own
orbit.
ROGER
Possibly. Some of them are magicians. Alright. Let's strap you in.
Roger kneels down in front of Dale and straps on the roller blades. Dale
pulls his crotch away from Roger. He assists him in putting on all of the
shields. Dale puts the helmet on backwards which goes unnoticed.
DALE
Okay...this feels right. Yeah. It's just like riding a bicycle.
ROGER
Actually Dale, it's nothing like riding a bike.
DALE
Figure of speech my boy. Okay let me just stand up for a second and get used
to my new legs.
Dale stands and lands right on his ass pulling Roger down with him which gets
some morning laughs out of the others who have had their coffee.
ROGER
Dale?
DALE
I know what I'm doing. Just give me a second. It's been a while. Trust me
Roger.
Roger helps him stand. Dale gets stable and stands in one place.
DALE
See. I'm good. What did they tell you to wear Rogie?
ROGER
Well they called me for a roller blader, but I told them that my blades were
broken. I'm a jogger. I wasn't about to tell them that I could skate board.
DALE
Thanks for letting me use these.
A Production Assistant walks into the room as everyone is eating breakfast,
drinking coffee, and shooting the shit.
P.A.
I need everyone's attention. Could you guys pair off in different groups. I
need all of the joggers together, all of the skateboarders together, all of
the roller bladers together, you get the picture.
Everyone moves to their own sport grouping.
P.A.
So the shot this morning is a typical summer slice of life, NY Central Park
look. So we have a little bit of everything going on. I want a few people
in each group to pair off and then I want to talk to the best representative
from each sporting group. Any questions?
No questions so the PA makes his rounds. He gets to the roller bladers.
P.A.
Okay. We've got a couple of people paired off I can see. Now who in this
group feels that they are best on their feet here?
Dale still standing in the same spot where Roger left him raises his hand.
Another guy and girl raise their hands as well.
P.A. (TO DALE)
You're good on these?
DALE
Yeah. I've spent some time on them.
P.A.
How much time?
DALE
You know..I head over to that park over on the west side and like to stroll
along the river down to the piers. I'm pretty decent...I definitely know
what I'm doing. Its..
P.A.
Okay great, so what's your name?
DALE
Dale. Singer.
P.A.
Okay Singer, sounds good. My name is Zach. I'm going to come back down for
you guys in about half an hour to 45 minutes, and when we get up to the
location, I want you to come and see me? Clear
DALE
Gotcha.
Zach leaves and Dale scours the room to find his crash coach, Roger.
DALE (WAVING HIM OVER)
Roger. Hey Rog. Come ere.
ROGER
What's up?
DALE
You don't need to stretch or anything to warm up for your jogging scene do
you? I mean you don't need to practice jogging?
ROGER
No, I don't need to practice my jogging. I think you might to reintroduce
yourself to those blades though.
DALE
Well, that's kind of what I was thinking. Would you mind.
Dale grabs onto Roger's arm for support and starts allows himself to be
pulled from the spot he's been standing for the past 20 minutes. Roger pulls
Dale between tables and basement columns like a father teaching his kid on
training wheels. Dale appears unstable at first and then seems to get his
balance.
DALE
This is great. I forgot how much fun this can be. Stopping, now what's up
with that again. It's been a while.
ROGER
Your brake is on the right heel. Just plant your right heel to the ground
when you want to slow down or stop.
DALE
Oh, that's right. But I'm a southpaw.
ROGER
I don't think that makes any difference. Dale...are you sure that..
DALE
I'm fine. It's just been a while. Take me back to the table. I want some
steam left for the scene.
Roger goes back to his jogging group and opens his book. Dale hangs out with
the other "real" roller bladers and flips through "Backstage" and "Variety".
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
EXT.-CENTRAL PARK STREET
The extras are being herded through the set and placed in key areas. The set
is bubbling with producers, writers, grips, PA's, A.D.'s, the director,
etc... The main part of the set is located at the bottom of a hill on a
Central Park street. Zach show's Dale his mark by the camera.
ZACH
We've got the camera set up so it looks like when you come down the hill,
you're going to run into the principles, but you're just going to buzz them.
Here is your mark, this line of green tape, left of camera.
Dale is escorted by Zach up the hill. He's sidestepping in the grass on the
way up as Zach instructs him on the shot.
ZACH
So this is a typically beautiful summer day in Central Park and the park is
just teeming with activity. You know what it's like on the first nice day of
the season. Everyone and their gay roommate is out.
Dale is huffing his way up the hill sideways and shaking his head in
acknowledgement.
ZACH
That was a joke.
Dale doesn't have the breath to laugh but smiles and shakes his head.
ZACH
The principles will be right in front of camera locked in a kiss. This is
the climax of the movie really, because everyone's been wanting these two to
get together forever. Anyway, we're going to have joggers, skateboarders
blah blah blah, and we want a guy in roller blades to shoot by them at a
fairly quick click to startle them out of the kiss. That's where you come
in.
They both reach the mark and Dale leans on a tree for support.
ZACH
I'll be communicating on walkie with the A.D. He's down on the set and will
give me instructions of when I should send you. Here is another line of
green tape. Stand here for your take-off. I'll point to you. You just wait
for my cue. You okay Singer.
DALE
Great. Perfect.
Dale leans his back up against the tree and both his legs roll out from under
him and he slides down the trunk onto his ass. He decides to just stay there
and plays it off as skill. He's getting thirsty but doesn't dare head down
to the set for some water in fear of the return. He waits and waits and
looks at clouds and watches people watch him. He's being eyed by bystanders
and feels obligated to stand as if too maybe fool some of the strangers that
he just might be the STAR of all of this hoopla. Straddling the tree, he
pulls himself up to a balanced position.
ZACH
Background action, get ready. Singer that means you.
The wind is taken out of his sails. The gathering crowd has been let in on
the secret.
DALE
I'm ready.
ZACH
Get to your mark in the street. This is the first take of many to follow.
Dale side steps to his mark and adjust his backwards helmet, knee and elbow
pads and concentrates.
ZACH
Singer, don't look into the camera or at the principles when you get down
there. Look straight ahead. Your job is to just whiz by.
DALE
I'm ready.
ZACH
Wait for my cue.
Zach's walkie gives him the go ahead to send down Dale.
ZACH (POINTING TO DALE)
Singer, Go.
Dale gives the thumbs up sign to Zach and gets off to a wobbly start. He
begins to pick up speed and balances out. He gets more comfortable and it
starts to look like Dale really has done this before. He's midway down the
hill approaching lights. He runs over a taped-down electric cable in the
road and starts to loose his balance. His arms are flaying and he's got one
blade in the air. As he descends the hill, he takes out everything within
arms reach. Lights crash down, flags are tipped over, crew members scramble
to replace everything. Chaos is snowballing the closer Dale gets to camera.
Dale regains his balance and has picked up heavy speed. He's heading right
toward the set with his eyes locked onto the green tape. As he approaches
the tape, he realizes he's a few feet from his mark. People start to scream
and leave their posts. He smacks right into the kissing principles and
knocks them into the camera which rolls back and topples monitors, people in
directors chairs, and the tent covering the cast and crew. The screen goes
to shattered glass.
DIRECTOR
Cut.
CUT TO:
EXT.-BRYANT PARK-LATER THAT AFTERNOON
It's 5:45 PM and Dale shows up fifteen minutes late in a leg cast. He limps
over to the wardrobe people on crutches.
DALE
I'm Dale Singer. Sorry I'm late.
NINA
We were just about to leave. Did you get our message on your cell?
DALE
No.
NINA
Are you wearing make-up for the wardrobe fitting?
DALE
Yes, well I mean no. I am wearing make-up but not for this. I came from
another job.
NINA
Where, General Hospital?
DALE
No, but that's a good idea. I should call them. I broke my leg today.
NINA
It's just a figure of speech you know.
DALE
I never take things literally.
NINA
I don't know about this Dale?
DALE
What don't you know about?
NINA
I'm not sure we can do this today. Let me call Tommy the director and see
what he says.
DALE
Please do your best. It means a lot to me. I broke my leg for this role. I
deserve some luck here.
NINA (ON CELL)
Hello Tommy. Is this Tommy? Hey Lia, it's Nina...I'm good..hey is Tommy
close by? I have a question for him. Thanks doll. Tommy, Nina. Your
principle Dale just arrived for a fitting in a leg cast. He says it's real.
I don't know, I guess he broke his leg today. I already tried that, he
didn't laugh. Yes. Okay. I don't see why not. Okay, you're the boss.
Nina snaps her cell shut.
NINA
I guess that broken leg thing is a sign of luck. Tommy thinks it would
actually be okay for your character to have a broken leg. He wants me to fit
you. This will be my first.
DALE
What's that?
NINA
I've never fit a person in a cast before. Well I've fit plenty of cast
actors but no actors in cast.
Can I be the first to sign?
DALE
Make it sweet, and no profanity. I don't want Disney turning me down.
Dale pulls a sharpie from his back pocket and hands it to Nina. He pulls up
a chair and sits down resting his cast on Nina's knee. She scribbles, "LUCKY
BREAK" in large letters and draws a comedy face. Dale smiles at her, takes
in a deep breath and sighs. We see him kick back and relax. For the first
time he looks happy, giving the day he had.
CUT TO:
MONTAGUE OF SHOTS-
Dale is working more than ever. He's doing loads of extra work on various
productions with his leg still in the cast. He's a fireman with a broken
leg. He's a lifeguard with a broken leg. He's a construction worker with a
broken leg. He's a juror with a broken leg. He's a soccer player with a
broken leg. He's a _______ with a broken leg. You get the picture. As we
see these clips of Dale's walk-on's or limp-on's, the day planner pages and
cash shuffle to give a sense of time and money. The last shot we see is Dale
sleeping. He's still wearing his make-up from the previous days shoot. The
alarm clock startles him awake. When his head lifts the pillow, his sheets
and pillow case are covered in make-up. He reaches for his day-planner and
flips it to today's date, October 14th. He get's up and showers to get
started on his day. When he exits the bathroom, he's still covered in make-
up.
CUT TO:
INT.JOANS OFFICE
Close up on Dale's day planner turned to page October 14th. In the box
reads,"p.m. with Joan". We pan off the day planner which is resting on
Dale's broken leg. He's still wearing the cast and it's been roughly 17
weeks. The cast is nasty and he's touching it up with white-out as he waits
for Joan to enter the office.
JOAN
Long time Dale. Busy man these days. It's good to see you.
DALE
Well, it's always good to be seen and I've been seen a lot lately.
JOAN
I take it that your working a bit more.
Joan sniffs the air and makes a sour face.
JOAN
What's that rancid smell. Damn mice in the walls. They get trapped and die.
Do you smell that?
DALE
I do detect an odor. It might be my leg. This helps.
Dale pulls out a bottle of baby powder and cologne and squirts some clouds of
powder into the cast. He tops it off with a few mist of old spice.
DALE
In answer to your question, yes I am working more than ever. It's been
great.
JOAN
Good for you Dale. I remember you calling to tell me you broke your leg, but
wasn't that back in June sometime.
DALE
The fifth to be exact.
JOAN
That's a long time to be wearing a cast. What does your doctor say.
DALE
I stopped seeing him. He wanted to remove it.
JOAN
And you didn't want him to?
DALE
Fuck no. This is the best thing to happen to my career. I've gotten more
work with this cast than I ever did without it. It's ironic, because of the
"break-a-leg" thing, but shit man, it works. I don't know if they feel sorry
for me or if there's just a lot of calls for gimps, but why question it?
JOAN
Dale, that can't be good for you. Your leg needs air. You need to allow it
to grow or your going to do some permanent damage. I'm serious pal, I
believe you've gone too far with this. It smells like it's rotting.
DALE
Can we not talk about the leg. I'm here for my head.
JOAN
Yes you are and I'm telling you that your crazy to leave that cast on. Get
that through you head. What's your plan Dale. You going to leave that shit
on your leg forever. Come on, at what point were you planning on removing
it?
DALE
I just didn't want anything to change. I'm so happy with the work. I'm so
sick of eating shit to reach my goal.
JOAN
You can work without the cast. You've got to remove it. It's become a
security for you. And by the way, do you think you're the only one who has
to eat shit in this world. Give me a fucking break Dale. Wake the fuck up.
Stop pretending.
DALE
That's all I know how to do. Acting is pretending. I take on a different
role. I get out of myself for a brief moment. I don't have to be Dale.
JOAN
What's wrong with Dale?
DALE
Dale who? I don't know Dale. I don't even know how to get in touch with
him. Let me ask you a question? When you find yourself, do you stop
pretending, or is it that when you stop pretending, you find yourself?
JOAN
We are here together for one thing. Growth. What you want to do as a
career, doesn't have to define who you are as a person. It's better to take
more risk and test your limits. Sure you get a bit scraped up but it's a
better way to find out what makes you tick. You'll never know if you play it
safe all the time, walking around in a smelly cast. You need to open
yourself to opportunity and that will help define you. You say that acting
is what you were meant to do. That's fine, but your goals at 16 might not
match your goals at 35. It's okay to change your mind. This doesn't mean
that your shouldn't stick to your dreams or goals, but there is a point where
you need to accept that your goals might have changed somewhat. Don't
struggle with yourself so much. Let yourself be. Do what makes you happy,
not what makes others happy for you. Happiness is an individual quality and
it's not gained by other peoples perception of you. Do what makes you happy
Dale. No matter how it appears to others. So what?
DALE
My leg itches.
Joan gets up and goes into the other room for a brief moment and Dale shoves
his arm down his leg to relieve the itch. Joan returns with a large pair of
scissors and a serrated knife.
JOAN
Let's cut that fucker off right now.
DALE
Joan, I don't think I'm ready. You don't know what your doing.
JOAN
It can't be that hard, plus it's about to fall off anyway. Your leg is
shrinking. Put your leg up.
DALE
Joan, this is fucked up.
JOAN
Just put your leg up.
Dale offers his good leg. Joan grabs his cast and starts hacking away at it.
Dale breaks down and begins to cry. Joan ignores his crying, and focuses on
his leg and trying not to gag from the odor.
DALE (PULLING IT TOGETHER)
The air feels so cool, and smells so bad.
JOAN
You were rotting. Look at your leg for Christ's sake. What's all of this
gunk on your leg, is that dead skin.
DALE
I think it's baby powder build up.
Dale gets into it and starts helping Joan pull off the cast. Joan goes a
little crazy with the ripping and tearing.
DALE
Easy, easy. I want to keep this in one piece.
JOAN
You can't keep this. It smells.
DALE
I want to keep it, so gentle.
They remove the cast and Dale's leg is covered in charcoal colored baby
powder and his skin is yellowish. His leg has shrank dramatically.
DALE
Look at the difference in size.
JOAN
Have you given any thought to Coney Island?
They both laugh and give each other a shoulder hug.
JOAN
Dale, everyone has to humble themselves and kiss a little ass to get what
they want.
DALE
Everyone? I'm tired of this Asskiss diet, you know like the Atkins diet.
The people's butt that I have to smooch; who's asses did they kiss?
JOAN
Other ass kissers I guess.
DALE
I do feel a sense of freedom.
JOAN
You do, that's great. Freedom from fear and self?
DALE
Freedom from bondage. Not that I'm knocking bondage. Bondage can be good at
the right times, like at grandma's Thanksgiving dinner. That cast was
bothering me but one of my strongest qualities is denial. I still fear
myself.
JOAN
We'll work on the fear and denial.
DALE
I get that denial shit from my mother. She was like Cleopatra.
JOAN
I'm not following.
DALE
Queen of denial.
Joan glances down at her Patek Phillipe.
JOAN
Time.
CUT TO:
MONTAGUE OF SHOTS-
Dale is seen in a series of holding areas, with his two best friends,
"Backstage" and "Variety". The day planner shuffles with the cash and we see
a new Dale. Shots of Dale making bank deposits are interspersed with his
working shots. He's confident and less anxious. He seems to be going with
the current which washes away his tired eyes. He's working as an extra
pretty much every day of the week and he's socking away some cash. There are
quick edits of Dale doing many different mundane extra scenes.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT.-EXTRA'S HOLDING AREA
The camera drives up to a man in a corner reading a magazine, with the chaos
of extras all attempting to steal the spot- lite from one another. The man
in the corner is heavily into his reading, clueless to the verbal resume's
and name dropping that fills the room. As we arrive on the man, the camera
pulls behind him to get a view of the magazine. It's backstage, what a
surprise, and the camera focuses in on an ad that reads,"Open Call-
Registration and Re-registration-Judith Silver's Ordinary Casting, Tues.
February 12th". The camera pans off the page and onto the owner of
Backstage. It's Dale with a sour look on his face. The sour look turns into
a grin and eventually he is overwhelmed with joy. He rears up and a
involuntary voice escapes his lips.
DALE
Time. It's time. I'm so outta here.
All of the extras give him a "whatever Dale" look.
Dale gathers his acting gadgets needed for extra work, and makes for the exit
basement door. The extra's get up to follow.
JERRY
Time for what? Are we up? It's too early for lunch, or is it? Did they
call you. How do you know it's time?
DALE
I just know. Trust me just this once Jerry. I'm here to help.
JERRY
Help with what? Confusing me. Let me in Mr. Vague.
Jerry and the others follow Dale upstairs to the set. Dale heads right for
the set as they are in the middle of a shot. PA's are trying to head him
off, but he struts past them and stiff arms a few to get to the camera. The
PA's give up on Dale but herd the others back to their hole. Dale passes
right in front of the camera, blocking the principles for a brief second.
The director just looks at his monitor and smiles as if it was meant to
happen. Honestly, he's thinking that he set that up because it worked out so
well. Dale keeps up the pace and heads down the avenue as confident as an
actor can pretend to be.
CUT TO:
INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT
Dale enters his studio with the phone ringing. He tosses his shit on the
table and goes for the phone.
DALE
Dale Singer
JIMMY
Yes Dale Singer, this is Jimmy over at Ordinary Casting. I have someone who
needs to speak with you.
DALE
Put em on.
JUDITH
Hello, who's this?
DALE
You called me.
JUDITH
I didn't call anyone. Who is this?
DALE
Jimmy called me and put me through to you.
JUDITH (SHOUTING INTO THE PHONE)
Jimmy who's on the phone?
Dale holds the phone away from his body.
JIMMY
That Dale guy you wanted me to call.
JUDITH
Oh yes, Mr. Dale. Hey I'm talking to you.
DALE
You mean your screaming at me.
JUDITH
Don't you correct me sir. Did you walk out on set today?
DALE
Yes I did.
JUDITH
Do you have an answer for why?
DALE
I do.
JUDITH
Okay mister, I would like to know.
DALE
Because I wasn't feeling bad.
JUDITH
You weren't feeling good. That's not good enough.
DALE
No, I wasn't feeling bad.
JUDITH
Are you okay?
DALE
Doing fine, thank you.
JUDITH
They were looking for you after you crossed camera, to do a couple of more
takes.
DALE
They weren't pissed?
JUDITH
Why would they be pissed? You did what they asked right?
DALE
Right.
JUDITH
Well, I don't want you leaving the set without calling us first. Understood?
This is not how you run a company? You have to have complete control. Am I
clear?
DALE
Clear indeed, and I appreciate your advice and all of your input. You've
given me such an insight.
JUDITH
Is this sarcasm my friend?
DALE
No, not at all. It's respect and I mean it sincerely.
JUDITH
Really? Thanks. But you mind your ass mister.
DALE
We'll do. Thanks for checking in.
He hangs up the phone and laughs. He checks his messages and he's got a few
from Sadie and one from his agent.
CUT TO:
INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT
It's weeks later and Dale has boxed up his apartment. His life is being
loaded onto a truck that reads on the side panel, "Shakespeare Moving-to flee
or not to flee". It appears Dale has chosen to flee. The movers grab the
last box and Dale makes one last phone call from the only item left in the
studio; the phone.
DALE
Hey Joan it's your favorite client, Dale. I just wanted to let you know that
I'm moving today and I won't be able to make next week's appointment. I was
hoping we could do a phone session. I'll call you with my new number when
I've settled. Thanks for finding me. I almost forgot myself. I'll call ya.
He yanks the phone cord from the wall, wraps it around the phone, and gives a
last look around. The only thing he see's is an 8x10 blank piece of paper on
the floor. He reaches down to flip it over and it's his head-shot. He's
squatted over peering into his eyes in the picture. He gives a chuckle,
stands up and drops the picture. The camera follows the picture as it
flutters back to the floor, and we can see Dale exit the apartment with his
phone in the background. He's the background action in this shot, and his
head-shot is the principle. The camera stays on the head-shot for a few
moments with dust tumblers rolling over the picture.
CUT TO:
Dale opens the moving truck passenger door and squeezes in with 3 other
moving dudes. The truck with comedy and tragedy faces on the back door,
pulls out and heads down the avenue.
CUT TO:
INT.-CHURCH BASEMENT
The camera pans across a room of actors sitting at desks in various
activities. A good percentage of these actors know one another and were at
the Judith Silver Open Call at the beginning of the film. There is a hum of
conversation that fills the room. After a few minutes of the actors settling
into their seats, a screeching voice brings fear and awe into their faces.
JUDITH
You are not actors....I said, you are not actors. Did everyone get that? I
will say it one last time so you can get this through your thick
sculls....You are not actors!
CUT TO:
INT.-CHURCH BASEMENT
A short woman who appears to be Judith Silver is standing in the front of the
room. She walks over to a stool and hits the stop button on a tape player.
The camera pans over to a man standing next to her. It's Dale Singer.
DALE
Thanks Heidi. Please take a seat.
Heidi turns around and heads to the front table. She's a young cute girl
with the same build as Judith.
HEIDI
Your welcome Mr. Singer.
DALE
Dale's fine dear.
She sits at the table in front. She's Dales first employee. Above her is a
banner that reads, "Extra Ordinary Casting".
DALE
My name is Dale Singer, and I would like to welcome each and every one of you
fine actors to EXTRA ORDINARY CASTING. You are actors. You are actors. You
are actors. The voice and message that you just heard on the tape, erase
it from your heads. You will never again have to listen to the voice you
just heard. Some of you have heard it before and for others, it might have
been your first time. In any case, just remember that you do count. This is
only one example of how people in this town run their business. Any of you
who have been doing this for a while, and there are a quite a few sitting in
this room today, know what a demoralizing business this can be. I'm going to
change that with your help. I'm on a mission to make our lives better, but I
need everyone in this room to help me make that happen. It can and will be
done. Enough of my gushing. I'm the extra in this room. You all are the
stars! There are registration forms on the table up front. There's coffee,
tea, bagels and pastries. Please help yourself and take your time. We're
here all day. Heidi can answer most of your questions and what she can't
answer, I can. Oh, and one last thing. If I don't already know you, please
make certain that you introduce yourself to me before leaving. My business
is your business and that's show business.
Everyone gets up from their right sized desks and mill about. There is a
very comfortable, familiar quality to the room. There's not an ounce of
tension or fear. It's all good. Dale is speaking with a few of his new
registrants when he spots Sadie in the back of the room standing. He walks
over and embraces her. She reciprocates. They both look good together.
DALE
Thanks sweetheart. Thank you for me and for them.
SADIE
I'm so glad to help. It's good to have you back.
DALE
It's great to be back. I've missed you and myself.
SADIE
I have faith in you. You're a good man Dale. We still need to talk about
that kissing incident with your boyfriend, but other than that, we're fine.
DALE
I was being kissed. There's a difference. Let's make that clear. Not my
idea.
SADIE
I'm proud of you Dale.
DALE
I'm proud too, and this isn't even an act. I'm an actor not acting proud.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT.-CHURCH BASEMENT
Judith Silver and her crew are having an open call across town at the same
moment as Dale's. The same people are working for her at the head of the
room. Their "Ordinary Casting" banner is bland compared to Dale's. There
sitting alone at a child's desk is one young man fresh from the cornfields.
She walks up to him and directs her speech in the face of the young want-to-
be. He's getting a private session.
JUDITH (SHOUTING)
You are not an actor!
CUT BACK TO:
INT.-CHURCH BASEMENT
EXTRA ORDINARY CASTING'S Open call. Everyone is enjoying each others company
and it looks more like a family reunion than a business gathering.
FADE OUT.
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