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DROP DEAD
FADE IN:
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
The room is very clean and spacious. MICHAEL, costumed,
30ish, is relaxing in a corner behind the door, smoking.
After a couple of minutes the door slams open. JIM enters.
Jim also 30ish, costumed, embonpoint. Looks kind of
frustrated.
JIM
Shit, shit shit.
He slams the door shut and sees Michael.
JIM
Oh uh, hi there Michael, so this
is where you've been all along
heh.
MICHAEL
(nods)
That's right.
Jim's sweating, nervous. Michael on the other hand is
calmness himself.
MICHAEL
What's the rumpus?
JIM
Well uh, my gir... uh your and my
girlfriend's dad is pissing me
off.
MICHAEL
Yeah he does that sometimes.
JIM
Sometimes? He's been on my back
since we've been here.
MICHAEL
Hence I try to avoid him.
JIM
Yeah smart move, I need to relax
for a bit or I swear I punch him
in the face.
MICHAEL
Don't do that or Amy will be mad.
JIM
Yeah Amy, she sees what her dad
is doing and she let's him,
goddamnit they both piss me off.
MICHAEL
What are they doing?
JIM
What do you mean?
MICHAEL
I've been here for the past hour
or so, so I don't know what
they're doing right now.
JIM
Oh the usual, kids are playing,
grownups are chatting, old people
are eating desserts.
MICHAEL
Almost time to leave then.
JIM
Thank God.
MICHAEL
I'm an atheist, I don't thank
God.
JIM
Figure of speech.
A small pause of silence.
MICHAEL
So Jimmy has grown up has he.
JIM
Yeah, he's been playing baseball
and he's quite good at it as
well. Goddamnit, the trouble is
Amy's dad loves baseball so he
comes and checks it out but he
criticizes too harsh you know.
MICHAEL
I know.
JIM
So why don't you and Sara have
any kids.
MICHAEL
I don't feel like it.
JIM
You don't feel like it?
MICHAEL
Nah, I'm waiting for the old man
to pass away, I still remember
Jimmy's birth.
JIM
God yeah, so long ago but I still
remember it as well, it's like it
wasn't my son that was coming out
of the ... Well you know but
his'.
MICHAEL
Exactly.
JIM
(nods)
Okay yeah now I see.
Jim walks over to the toilets.
JIM
Gotta get rid of the bad wine.
MICHAEL
His basement is filled with
expensive wine but for a barbecue
cheap wine will do.
JIM
Guess so, cheap old bastard.
Jim starts micturating.
MICHAEL
You know, ever since I was a kid
I hated family gathers, and the
old man always wants his kids
around, even though they're grown
up now, I don't blame Sara for
going because else he will whine
the crap out of us... Me.
JIM
Yeah I went away on vacation once
without telling him, he sent
descriptions to cops everywhere.
MICHAEL
That's shocking.
JIM
Yeah it was, we were about to
cross the border and we couldn't
cross it, we had to wait there
for a whole day.
MICHAEL
Typical.
JIM
Ruined the rest of the week as
well.
Michael nods and puts up another cigarette. Jim zips his
pants and walks over to the door.
MICHAEL
Wash the hands.
JIM
Sure.
Jim washes his hands.
JIM
I see you're not going to go back
yet.
MICHAEL
Sara'll come and get me, then I
shake hands and then I'm free to
go.
JIM
Good plan, I have to go back
though. Fucking hell.
Short pause.
JIM
Well uh, I'll see you at the
handshake then.
MICHAEL
Ye.
Jim leaves.
MICHAEL
"You will enjoy yourself" dammit
woman, every time.
Couple of minutes later the door opens and in comes JIMMY.
A young kid, 15, active, healthy, baseball cap.
MICHAEL
Hi there Jimmy.
JIMMY
Oh hi uncle Mike, what's up?
MICHAEL
The sky I guess.
JIMMY
Haha.
Jimmy runs over to a toilet.
MICHAEL
I heard you were getting pretty
good at baseball.
Jimmy's smile fades a bit.
JIMMY
Yeah it's okay but...
MICHAEL
But what?
JIMMY
I'm thinking about quitting.
MICHAEL
Why?
JIMMY
I don't want to hurt dad but
grandpa is really getting on my
nerves at times.
MICHAEL
Yeah he's a pain in the ass.
Jimmy zips his pants.
JIMMY
If I suck he yells stuff if I
play good he just sits there.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
JIMMY
Well see ya.
MICHAEL
Wash your hands kid.
JIMMY
Oh yeah.
Jimmy washes his hands and leaves.
MICHAEL
Like father like son.
He watches his watch.
MICHAEL
I hope I still get to see "The
Godfather 3". Fucking family
gathers.
He dumps a bud in the bin an lights a new cig. Couple of
minutes later. Amy walks in.
AMY
(nod)
Michael.
Amy goes into a cubicle.
AMY (O.S.)
Chicken always make me shit.
Michael laughs.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
AMY (O.S.)
So how's things with my sis?
MICHAEL
Great, great. You?
AMY (O.S.)
Uuh I wish It'd be over with, my
dad has an argument with Jim, and
they're both so stubborn. God I
hate it when they fight, and they
do it all the time.
MICHAEL
I heard, that's why I avoid him.
AMY (O.S.)
Yeah and you're succeeding he
hasn't dropped a word about you.
MICHAEL
Good, let's keep it that way.
Amy smirks, flushes, washes hands.
AMY
See you later.
MICHAEL
Yeah, when the time is ripe.
Amy leaves with a smile.
Couple of minutes later a pretty woman enters. SARA.
Michael throws away his cig.
MICHAEL
Finally, where've you been? Japan
and back?
Sara doesn't respond and her eyes are somewhere else.
MICHAEL
What's wrong?
The tears come. Michael holds her.
MICHAEL
What's wrong honey?
SARA
Dad...
MICHAEL
What about him?
SARA
He just had a heartattack.
MICHAEL
Oh God.
SARA
The last words anyone said to him
were from Jim, "Drop dead
asshole".
MICHAEL
Geez.
FADE TO BLACK.
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