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FADE IN:
EXT. TOWN HALL -- EVENING
A run-down, graffiti-ridden piece of neglected real estate.
The sign at the front reads:
THEATRE GROUP REHEARSALS: 7:30-9PM
An old Toyota Camry pulls up. The engine dies and out
steps a young, stout man in his mid-twenties. He is LEIGH
MORISSEY. He surveys the scene, takes a final drag on his
cigarette, and cooly snubs it out on the road.
INT. TOWN HALL -- EVENING
A small group of young actors wait near the stage. They
couldn't be any more different from one another if they
tried. Each wears their own version of what a pissed off,
impatient and insecure actor should have.
Leigh enters, immediately summing up the scene. All the
actors stop and look at him, realise it's not who they're
waiting for, and look away. Some now even more pissed
off.
In the corner near the entry is a table with a coffee urn
and paper cups. Leigh heads over and pours a coffee.
LEIGH
So he's not here yet?
There's a grumbling from the others.
LEIGH (CONT'D)
Thought I'd be late.
(beat)
Or is it trendy to be late? I
don't know, I'm only new to this.
He takes his coffee and joins the others. No-one looks at
anyone.
LEIGH (CONT'D)
Does he make you do, you know,
warm-up exercises?
(sips coffee)
I don't know any myself.
A forty-something man with grey hair and a neat beard turns
to face Leigh. He is FREDERICKE.
FREDERICKE
We always begin with warm-up
exercises. It is essential for
those serious about their craft.
Our new John Proctor should know
this.
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2.
LEIGH
You mean, like, "Let's all be
trees," kind of thing? Or "Who
can be the calmest rock in the
sea?"
NATALIA, a scared-looking teenage girl with pigtails and
thin glasses is rocking on her haunches on the edge of the
stage.
NATALIA
There's nothing wrong with those
exercises. I do them daily.
They're extremely soothing.
LEIGH
You're our Abigail, right?
NATALIA
(hopelessly
pretentious)
I am everyone... and no-one...
A portly middle-aged woman, LIZA, dressed in a servant's
costume, sidles in next to Leigh and leans back on the
stage.
LIZA
It is a universal truth that you
must 'centre' yourself to one
exercise that will stimulate your
inner self. It is so your inner
beauty won't stagnate, nor will
you make the mistake of dragging
it out, kicking and screaming,
into the harsh realities of
existence, thus burning it.
LEIGH
Cool.
The doors burst open and in walks LEONARD, 30, smartly
dressed, with a thin moustache and bright, laser-like eyes.
He moves quickly and with absolute purpose.
LEONARD
I'm late... and for that I do not
apologise. For all time given to
us is precious and I'm certain you
all used it wisely. You...
(points straight at
Fredicke)
coffee. Now. Black with five
sugars. Now... let me see my
cast... soak you in... my gentle
buds of spring.
He CLAPS quickly.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
Form a circle. Hurry. You...
Leonard spins on Fredericke... who is in the middle of
making a coffee.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
You are wasting my time. Can I
ever get that time back? No. Get
over here.
Fredericke runs back to the circle.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
Now people, close your eyes and
breathe three times. When I clap,
you are all to assume the position
of your favourite animal. One...
two... three!
He CLAPS. The group spring into various positions. LIZA
falls to the ground on her side and assumes the foetal
position. Natalia stands on one foot and hugs an imaginary
tree. Fredericke lays on his back and scratches his
stomach.
Leigh stands still and holds his hands out like claws.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
Hmm. Let me see now.
(to Natalia)
What are you?
NATALIA
I'm a koala bear.
LEONARD
Then why is it all I see is a
stripper swinging on her stripper
pole to an audience of perverted
businessmen?
NATALIA
Because... I...
LEONARD
(to Fredericke)
What are you doing?
FREDERICKE
I'm a sloth. Resting in his tree.
LEONARD
You look like a pervert stroking
yourself while watching Natalia do
her strip tease. Why? Are you a
pervert? Do you have perversions?
FREDERICKE
No... I was just... I mean...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4.
LEONARD
(turns on Liza)
What is that?
LIZA
A newborn bear cub, suckling at
his mother's teat.
LEONARD
That is what you came up with? Of
all the things that you could think
of, this was it?
LIZA
I feel it gives movement to the
idea that--
LEONARD
It gives movement to my stomach.
It makes me sick just thinking
about it. It would make me sad to
be that mother. To know this...
this pathetic, ugly, bloated foetus
is what needs me to survive.
(turns to Leigh)
And you...
(beat; taking it in)
you are...
LEIGH
I'm a bear... I mean a lion cub--
LEONARD
Don't. Not a word. Not a single,
solitary note. I want everyone to
get up and look at this. This is
the most... artistic and fresh
idea I have confronted in years.
The others break their poses and surround Leigh.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
Let me drink this splendid vision.
Ahh, it combines the ferocity and
violence of nature juxtaposed with
the tenderness and insecurity of
the newborn... as though it MUST
be vicious -- against its will --
to live in this world.
The others nod their heads in agreement, as though Leigh
is an exhibition in a museum.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
Don't dare break out of that pose
yet. We may never look upon its
like again.
(beat)
Make the sounds.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5.
LEIGH
What?
LEONARD
Add to it. Make the poor, yet
violent, creature speak to us.
Leigh, still frozen in his half-arsed "I'm a scary lion"
pose, starts to make half-arsed "I'm a scary lion" sounds.
LEIGH
Grr.
His audience react.
NATALIA
Incredible.
LIZA
Inspired.
FREDERICKE
Genius.
LEIGH
Grr.
LEONARD
Okay, stop.
Leigh drops the act.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
Do you see, people? Do you see
why he's our John Proctor? Where
else will we find such passion,
desire, the need to make sense of
a once familiar but now alien
environment. All wrapped up in
one mime we saw... ?
NATALIA
Fear.
LIZA
Petulance.
FREDERICKE
The desire to dominate, yet the
vulnerability of--
LEONARD
All of those and more. You could
all learn a lot from this boy. We
are lucky to be in the presence of
genius.
Leonard slowly applauds. Tears are running down his cheeks.
The others join in.
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6.
LEONARD (CONT'D)
Stop clapping! You're insulting
him. Let this moment be what it
was... a tiny flash lost forever
in the infinity and mindlessness
of our universe.
(beat)
I can't be here anymore. I must
muse.
He spins on his heals and rushes out the front door, leaving
the actors huddled in silence.
The actors a frozen, stunned.
LEIGH
Anyone wanna go for pizza?
FADE OUT
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