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ACCIDENT PRONE
Written by Dale Swaby.
WIDE ANGLE SHOT:
INT. A KITCHEN.
A man of an unkempt appearance prepares a meal for one.
CLOSE UP:
INT. THE MICROWAVE.
This is a TV dinner >
Only on viewing the microwave and inside, a fork is seen.
(Metal)
CLOSE UP:
He goes to the sink trying to pour a glass of water but -
as he turns the cold tap, this tap only splutters, sighing,
he then closes the microwave door next to the sink and
presses this appliance start button on, running his other
hand through his hair. On waiting a second he can here
noises coming from the microwave inside. These noises sound.
Tzzt psss...
ACCIDENT PRONE
Tzzt psss...
FOCUS IN:
On touching the microwave door he spasmodically flexes and an
electrocution takes place. Bang! He falls backwards...
FADE TO BLACK:
INTROSPECTIVE NULL
FADE IN:
EXT. A PASSENGER JET.
An aeroplane is on its way to Spain.
COVERING SHOT:
INT. THE PASSENGER JET.
Darren Rigg is on his way specifically to Ibiza.
He is seated in the centre of the plane reading a dictionary
held head height to where he then places this down on a tray.
CLOSE UP:
DARREN RIGG:
(Narrative ongoing)
Whoa, phew, gypped, in the neck,
ears hurt, fact... Whoa.
Accidents? - Accident; --
On reading the definition there is
a chance I could still get out of
this in one piece, not the plane,
that I can just about deal with...
But there's something else. Not a
problem they say the people I know
who want to see me alright only
they don't know yet, simply, that
is the problem. Any way...
COVERING SHOT:
I/E.
The aeroplane dips through turbulence, Rigg continues.
DARREN RIGG:
Reading a dictionary takes my mind
offa the subject in hand but
delivers an offhand idea. You pick
one of these things up when a
troubled time rears its head,
subjectively it won't help but
links in variable circumstance,
so...
Uh. This definition is, the chance
or unforeseen event. Generally. --
(Methodically)
-- The proper definition leads as a
mishap, and a mishap's a slight
unfortunate accident.
Then something comes around, it
slightly goes around... and we do
all sometimes call things as what
they're truly not, only I've got
different plans, if I ever get off
this 'tin can, sorry, aeroplane.
A fat man wriggles in a next seat along, from his isle seat.
Rigg is uncomfortable watching this fat man squirm, looking
in at a music device, which fatty turns on to full volume.
(Loud)
Beethoven plays...
Rigg notices a stewardess approach with a kettle.
CLOSE UP:
He quickly puts the used sick bag under his seat.
To divert the spectacle he continues to look on...
DARREN RIGG:
Here we go.
Someone special needs oxygen.
The stewardess holds that kettle waiting for the person to
hold their cup out, but, instead they hold up a plastic box.
DARREN RIGG:
The hell is he doing?
That other passenger tries to use their own box for kettle
receptacle purposes. The stewardess sighs and continues...
Now flustered, she drops tissues on the floor.
DARREN RIGG:
Ooh.
Rigg looks into his empty tumbler and tilts it to one side.
DARREN RIGG:
Recovery, and hastily that will be
the angles.
Reflex, reflex, it's the basics of
being still yet moving. And that
is what you're basic accident is,
slight, a mishap, generally. Watch
out Spain here I come, not by a
long way, very much in the other
direction. In fact...
Darren Rigg rests his head back then braces into a position.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE LANDING.
The aeroplane drops landing gear.
OPEN SHOT:
EXT. THE AIRPORT.
Outside the Airporto Darren hands over an envelope to someone
called Miguel, where Miguel instantly checks this amount of
cash… on looking in, this is quite obvious as fake,
counterfeit money.
Darren has now vanished and is no where to be seen.
CLOSE UP:
Miguel is not happy and immediately goes for a cell phone.
FADE TO BLACK:
PARALLAX HEIGHTS
FADE IN:
EXT. ENGLAND.
INT. THE APARTMENTS.
Frank is late and hurries up, scooting into Darren's
apartment as he had pre - arranged a time to be there ready
to announce the plan of action that was worked out previously
and prior to Darren leaving for Spain for a short duration.
Val from an unnoticed Frank follows up behind, a friend.
Frank makes it into 5A. He carries a big cardboard box.
FRANK:
Val! Speaking of the media, ol'
money, law re - enforcement, may
one explain now?
Val follows behind Frank closing the open door in view.
OPEN SHOT:
INT. 5A.
VAL:
The police there?
FRANK:
The whole enchilada.
Everything was.
Frank tips up the cardboard box and out from it falls a
plastic container to where Frank falls onto his knees.
On this box. (Crumpled)
VAL:
From what we see…
They were all tighter than a
Vicar's wife's choker, Saturday
afternoons watching live streams of
eleven aside, cucumber sandwich
prep, yeah? Bad day then?
FRANK:
Do you recycle that paper?
Odd that one ya work for.
Regular sort. One off the standing
for sure, let's say, a 'Reg,
regular. Broad he wasn't cap on
top he hadn't, stand aside, a
crumpled thin bloke, the shit!
Totes!
VAL:
The media were there the races,
obviously. Sib?
Sib is seated on the sofa, looking after the apartment 5A.
SIB:
-- He's lost. How much Frank?
FRANK:
160.
VAL:
160?
FRANK:
Grand.
VAL:
You are a moron.
SIB:
What's the box for? The parallax?
The plan? The problem? What?
FRANK:
Darren's missing sink holder err
because the plumbing don't work.
But that's the least of the
troubles, eh Leticia.
In the hallway Letty. Go, shoo.
VAL:
-- That was all you could afford.
SIB:
Yes. Television on record, said
there's a full investigation into
what happened at the race you
attended earlier, it was actually
'One Poor that got trampled by the
jockey club and not 'Digital, here
look at this.
Sib stands, goes to the LCD set and turns up the volume so
they can watch the end of the days events of a show from the
media. The commentator is with a serious tone of voice.
VAL:
Money money, money.
Television:
' Oh dear! One expects. Basics of Racing should combine
genuinely sturdy excess' of mentality in all shape, size and
rational ability, in every sportsmanship like form, not be
suspect after every wayward irrational horse whipped numerous
indicative apparent mile. And of --
-- Racing Today…
and today? Was a complete farce, as it goes! One can only
assume in many an activity enough sought the day wrong, so
here, from all here at racing, goodness - good afternoon. '
SIB:
And was put down 30 ago, probable,
we think. But again...
A flat course, the flat, season of
the flat.
Frank stands / Leticia with the grump goes into the hallway.
FRANK:
Oh well. It happens. Now may I
get into why we are here? Cool.
The parallax the plan of action.
VAL:
But ya lost £160,000!
CLOSE UP:
Frank touches his nose slightly and takes a card to read from
his pocket. Meanwhile:
FRANK:
Just testin'. What? Ya don't
think?
In Spain:
Rigg is walking along a beach but an unknown comes up from
behind and tries to place a giant sombrero on his head,
scuttling away, Darren continues to walk unperturbed, cool.
England 5A:
OPEN SHOT:
INT.
Frank takes a sheet (cover) from the side of the room and
covers Sib and the sofa with one flick of the wrists.
FRANK:
Pre - empt this don't, it's only
designed to make you look at
something again, once more with an
angle, the plan of action, why we
are here. I know. I know.
SIB:
Parallax; The apparent change of
position of an object viewed from
different points. Thank you.
May one get up now?
Sib gets up from underneath the sheet, seating next to Val.
(Stools)
FRANK:
This is a basic memory test to
alleviate any dumbfounded argument
as to why you don't get it, because
you won't get it, but only at
first.
So here, layman's, here…
As a memory test goes, as it
goes... hide something off of the
coffee table so when 'Leticia comes
back in she'll have to remember
what she has seen, this end of the
main living quarters,
as we know it.
Sib hides a paper from the table under his backside whilst
Val kicks the coaster under the sofa, and of course the sheet
covering.
VAL:
The sofa for?
SIB:
Sex. Oh you get plenty.
FRANK:
Funny, yeah. Leticia you can!
Come back in now!
Leticia comes back in.
FRANK:
Two objects that's hidden objects.
Leticia sticks her two fingers up at Frank.
FRANK:
Yes but there isn't any need for
that behavior.
LETICIA:
So I'm looking for two hidden
objects because this is a memory
test. But where?
FRANK:
On the coffee table, like I said
before.
LETICIA:
When you got it totally wrong?
FRANK:
I had the horse race on the mind!
So don't go there.
Leticia walks to the coffee table and looks on top, she
notices both objects missing that were on there immediately.
LETICIA:
Here?
FRANK:
Yes.
SIB:
There isn't anything hidden
illogically to the system of a
memory test but it does have to be
something guided by vision, right
Frank? And the size of course.
FRANK:
No the smell. But correct.
LETICIA:
The paper and the coaster.
But why is there a sofa over the
sheet.
I - mean, the other way round.
FRANK:
Well tell me then. Well done.
Why... is it missing?
LETICIA:
-- Missing? Its not missing.
FRANK:
Good, two down and one to go.
The sofa though, is that missing?
(Pointing)
You were looking for the smaller
item offhand, am I correct?
LETICIA:
Well no.
SIB:
Bitch. Lie bitchy bitch.
VAL:
Hang on, hang on, the sofa?
Has that got any thing to do with
the memory test Mr. Chair person?
FRANK:
Yes! It is, my! Memory test.
My memory test. So... A parallax
involves structure to things we are
not able to be aware of or at
necessity to get, but are we?
Interested in that because we can't
mathematicians or can we?
It's easy, this spoken jive.
My test is actually the larger item
on the inventory and that was the
cue, but would it of been?
Think yes.
Think no.
Think missing Mrs.
Was the coaster actually missing?
Really, yes, it was, but first...
First locating the sofa, you really
didn't know it was a sofa under
there, or did you?
Going for the coaster.
Here's one...
Another example. If I said I
turned the cooker upside down it
would still work wouldn't it. (?)
Would it look like a cooker though?
Hooked up to the gas main, nice
Sunday on the go with, with, with,
a sheet over the top for instance
as a different - view, am I right
there?
VAL:
Impractically then, but what about
the sofa?!
FRANK:
I'll give you that one - but frying
an egg would be a little bit
difficult.
SIB:
Take the cover off.
FRANK:
Ah, ah, that would be spoiling it.
Frank upends the sofa which still has the sheet over the top.
VAL:
Are you saying that the sofa is
missing?
FRANK:
Technically I am yes.
SIB:
But its plain as day that it is a
sofa.
FRANK:
Oh? Back to your preconception,
okay, okay.
That means you already know, but
really, do you? Do you know?
Do, you?
VAL:
How is it the sofa?
It's not missing or different in
any way. You're finally saying it
is the sofa and now it's on its
end. And the cooker?
FRANK:
Yes? The cooker was a comparison,
the sofa is missing.
SIB:
No it isn't.
FRANK:
Okay, wait, the money shot time, my
money shot time, which would be?
Come on, what would it be?
SIB:
You don't get laid enough.
FRANK:
If you came in from the cold and
saw this as it is, now...
You wouldn't actually know it was a
sofa under there, would you, until
you begged the question, of what it
was, because, you can't see it,
"the object" which is now, which is
now - defaulted, generally
unusable, could you sit on it?
So sorry.
You aren't right and I win, the
explanation has now finished...
(Sombre)
That is why I didn't win at the
horses today trying to get this
clincher ready, because the plan is
complicated enough, so we wait now
and look at the sofa, and think...
Why?
Frank lights a cigar.
Leticia gives Frank a bottle of beer (Unopened) from kitchen.
He does not notice and clunks his teeth on its top.
FRANK:
Ahhh. Leticia, you're on fire.
LETICIA:
What do I win?
FRANK:
About what?
LETICIA:
The flaming memory test!
FRANK:
A couch. My friendship.
(Cheesy)
Look, you're looking at the smaller
item aren't you, you're too - to
engrossed in convention folks.
The idea was small, now it is big,
the sofa was conventional, now it
is not. Parallax is the order and
this isn't an end game.
Take time in asking some questions,
I'll be here for you.
VAL:
What really did happen at the
horses today Frank?
FRANK:
Shut up.
Sib takes the paper and reads on...
FADE TO BLACK:
THE ‘ARDITE GROAT
FADE IN:
EXT. IBIZA.
Darren is walking along a rocky part of the beach...
He slightly misses his footing jolting a step.
Then whilst walking spots a jit, an alley way, and proceeds
to the back of the premises of the 'Ardite Groat, where his
destination so far is accomplished, to meet with the staff.
(Friend) This staff member is propped up at the empty bar.
Rigg enters going past a swimming pool to the back doorway.
COVERING SHOT
IN:
STAFF:
Are you waiting to?
RIGG:
-- An idea of stepping inside first
would be likely. This is, Ibiza?
STAFF:
Y - e - s. I said are you waiting
to be served? Quiet shush.
RIGG:
One bottle. Grathius.
Bert the landlord appears from the side entrance into his
bar, Rigg points to the only person seated justified left.
CLOSE UP:
PAOLO:
He's here.
Continued cell phone call, scene 1; Miguel on the end of the
line closes his particular telephone, Paolo looks in at Rigg.
RIGG:
Looks like there could be an advent
of trouble at the corral, okay, all
right.
All right.
Him, over there, how long? Ah -
(Glimpsing)
I recognise his face.
Just a bricklayer from England in
tow and Ellie, whereabouts was she
earlier?
STAFF:
She called in around an hour ago,
just to see why you stood her up.
Does she know much?
RIGG:
Only on how to make my apartment
look like a bomb - site, regarding
the apartment.
STAFF:
Of course.
BERT:
Staff? Staff.
Put some music on or do something.
STAFF:
-- Stupid ox.
BERT:
-- Did you just say?
STAFF:
The - the junction box, the
junction box it won't work.
Won't work.
BERT:
And what is that flaming smell?
STAFF:
'Dunno - boss, its outside,
outside. Go and have a look then.
CLOSE UP:
Bert leaves his paper on the bar and rings around a property
blurb with a ball point pen and walks to the back exit.
(Show England 5A Where the sink used to be)
STAFF: (CONT'D)
The sink?
RIGG:
The stink to a nose more like.
What is it?
STAFF:
Drainage down below, don't ask me
how or what, because I don't know,
it's because I don't, but the place
is flaking away - for sure.
I think he's ready to sell up which
leaves me out of an occupation, but
thanks anyway.
RIGG:
Good, that's why you are here, to
stall him into staying.
It's a better price, if he goes -
soon, straight... it isn't.
Staff goes to the electric box slamming his hand down on the
top where now by the fan on the ceiling starts to work, turn.
STAFF:
Who knows as well?
RIGG:
Else where. The formalities are
helping with the friendly nature of
explanation where as possible.
STAFF:
So then, someone gets a data profile
docket when a solicitor reckons
an accident injury occurs. But?
RIGG:
-- Yes I know who it actually, was.
But the only way I can get in, the
only way I can get in is - with an
accident myself, it's crazy.
Also, you know the difference
between a solicitor and a lawyer?
STAFF:
Is this a joke? I'm not sure I
follow… hairstyles maybe?
RIGG:
Technically yes they're the same
thing, but maybe one parts on the
other side so I'm not entirely sure
either.
STAFF:
Ah. You have enough money?
RIGG:
Paying a location change is costing
me with Miguel, some shifty Spanish –
national so I'm resting up.
STAFF:
You went with some counterfeit?
Ah, oh well - that's why he's over
there then... --
RIGG:
-- Don't worry I'll get rid of him,
no problem.
He might come in useful.
CUT TO:
Earlier.
EXT. THE 'ARDITE GROAT SWIMMING POOL.
This is where ELLIE appears DARREN'S girlfriend.
ELLIE walks from a distant shrub into the back of the 'ARDITE
GROAT. She is holding a canister - and is wearing bikini.
ELLIE opens the canister, on route to the swimming pool edge.
All is silent...
She pours some clear liquid into the swimming pool.
She quickly puts the cap back on canister.
Hurriedly but calm then walks back to the shrub.
She wipes her brow with a handkerchief.
Then disappears over a wall.
Show the present time as nearly dark and LATER.
The lights go on around the pool.
CUT TO:
INT. THE 'ARDITE GROAT.
BERT goes to a microphone, the speakers initially give out
feed - back. He turns down the sound output and speaking
closely into the mouthpiece continues to an empty bar.
CLOSE UP:
BERT:
(Star turn)
Hello. Hello? Testing. 1 - 2...
Welcome, welcome yourselves to the
'Ardite Groat! 'The Ardite Groat!
(Pause)
Where hot days and nights!
(Pause)
Welcomes you to the biggest ale
feast this side of town has to
offer!
(Looks around)
Please release the decimal.
(Grinning)
Have you this precious groat in
mind for me to make the lease last
long enough to welcome any kind of
charity your hearts can't deny, but
muster? Did you write this?
The Staff cheeses a smile whilst Rigg cracks his knuckles.
RIGG:
That's it just keep the info
coming you old - bugger.
Paolo looks to the door way still seated justified left.
Then the door slams open, bang!
(Elapse some time, buzzing flies and drip trays)
Then an almighty pack of men squeeze through the door in a
rugby - scrum entering the 'Groat. Darren moves a stool
whilst Paolo's jaw drops open...
RIGG:
At last.
Enter a student Doctor whom rushes up to the bar and orders
drinks. Paolo gets dragged into the burly group of men
through a quick handling manoeuvre by a fat man called Gassy.
CARL:
Damn! Darren! Have problems been
that contagious? Ah nothing that
a cold one won't fix eh?!
Outside! You lot! Outside!
The! Swimming area!
Oh - Barman! Barman!
Make it 18!
And give us a bloody good froth!
(Loud)
Come on Darren! Let's have you
joining our fun! Any chance of a
chaser there poop decker?!
BERT:
Oh my God. That away!
There's only meant to be 11 in one
side, or is this two?
Carl takes Darren's arm yanking him into a free space inside
the scrum and they all start towards the other side of the
room where they all squeeze through the back exit...
CLOSE UP:
A 'Scotsman called Gassy kicks the stag (Todd) up the
backside.
TODD:
Ah!! Ah!!
PAOLO:
Hey you there.
You are Gathy, si? Jes?
GASSY:
Aye, Scottish by name Scottish my
nature.
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
EXT. THE SWIMMING POOL AREA.
All make the swimming pools edge, then break up, Darren
wanders to a shower where fatigued he crouches over thinking.
RIGG:
We could take one of these bad boys
away for provincial analysis.
This is the crazy idea, but.
What the hell.
He looks to a hose on the ground.
Paolo on the edge of the swimming pool is now dancing to the
music with a camp edge, Darren quickly eyes up his technique.
CLOSE UP:
Rigg shoots water to where Paolo is dancing along to the
music, Carl yells to Paolo. Paolo is wearing suspect shoes.
Paolo slips up. Crash! Slamming horizontally on the tiles.
CARL:
Good God man! I know this is an
all fellah do but that takes the
cake. Ha. Where's the love?
He's a rum old shake then? --
You all right?! Sturdy old thing.
Blimey.
Darren slowly walks to Paolo with his eyes tight shut, in
pain. The rest of the scrum, now broken up, jump in the pool.
RIGG:
Taking you out of this won't be
easy, but you'd like to be a little
more safe wouldn't you, oh, jes.
Jes indeed.
(Methodically)
Only we do have to analyze this
scene.
(Pause)
There were alcoholic tendencies,
you took onboard, tut - tut.
There wasn't a particular sign up,
high like, reading, no bombing,
dancing, thinking to your self at
length oh and you were, heavy
petting etc n' otherwise.
And especially when it boils down
to the fact you're a sweetheart
but there a recognition, I know who
you are. You're called Paul.
The people in the pool start to scream out.
Oh - I hope that's only chlorine.
She did do it. Bitch. Damn bitch.
Dear me.
What are they complaining about?
CARL:
-- Filthy Cambridger’s.
Leave 'em to drown that's what -
I say.
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
Carl seats.
CLOSE UP:
Gassy starts to wail.
GASSY:
I only hope this is chlorine in my
hair! Ne' fucking acid!
TODD:
Phwoar that stuff stinks,
I think! You stink! I! Think!
You! Stink! Yeah! Its chlorine,
I think! You'd better take a
shower! A shower! You shit!
Gassy gets out of the swimming pool.
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
Darren turns on the shower but this only splutters…
Gassy dripping wet through looks to Rigg, walks up to him
Slowly, then, places a head but on his nose.
Rigg falls back on a sun - bed, this tips up.
FLICKER:
LATER.
INT. THE AMBULANCIA.
Rigg is seated next to Paolo or Paul. (Jolting around)
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
EXT. THE MOVING AMBULANCIA - SIRENS ON.
CLOSE UP:
RIGG:
You are going to apologize for the
time it took for this to turn up.
The Medico staff is silent with a wry glance at Darren.
PAOLO:
Moi legs!
RIGG:
Look - it's not your leg that's
broken!
PAOLO:
No?
RIGG:
Paul. It is Paul isn't it!
PAOLO:
Aha, yes, yeah.
RIGG:
It's you're clavicle that's shot!
PAOLO:
If I die!
Let Miguel cut off your head and
let blood splert from it!
RIGG:
Miguel’s no gangster, he deals in –
property.
Listen I am not the shit here!
Miguel, so you know, didn't get the
cash for my relocation because I
don't have any and why I did
this to you was because!
Was because!
We, us, can all claim a lot more money
than we would do with a normal
accident! Injury! Ya see!
It's only an operation, that's well
timed and you'd like to be a part
of that, wouldn't you.
Wouldn't you! Repeat after me!
Wouldn't you!
PAOLO:
I I I suppose but how?!
This is immoral!
RIGG:
What I can tell you is, you're not
actually going to die, thank God,
so stop whining! And secondly!
All you need to do, is lay, for now
in hospital and get well for a day
or two, then it's exclamation!
Compensation!
And then you're very much
appreciated, here, have a mint,
gay lord.
PAOLO:
(Bolting upright)
Mints?!
FADE TO:
UK. MIDNIGHT.
EXT. THE APARTMENTS. THE KITCHEN.
5A again, and the explanation from Frank has got tedious.
Sib Val and Leticia are listening to Frank some more.
FRANK:
So it was 'One poor that was
squashed by the rest of the field.
Oh. Parallax means we con someone into
thinking that something else is happening,
generally like a con, a trick.
The race? I couldn't see - down to it was
that rammed n' random with folk and
in the mix up I dropped my
telephone trying to get some view
of you lot to help me out.
But, going back to the tote, 'Reg,
yeah? He was definitely moving
lots of cash and always seemed to
be very nervous in doing so. It was rife.
Ya see I don't actually know what
Darren wants from us until he gets
back only it's safe to say he could
be in some strife. Err trouble.
SIB:
The horse wasn't the accident
here, was it. What were you doing
with £160,000 and I'm not thinking
of the obvious here, paper work,
legal counter balancing, for a con?
You said you did not bet that amount,
so why the mystery?
CLOSE UP:
The doorbell sounds at 5A.
VAL:
That's quick, the object arrives
before we call for it.
Nightfall eh.
Frank what does incidence mean?
FRANK:
Something that happens.
VAL:
No, no where close, that was the
paddock you waffled around in
earlier today; incident. Look -
incidence means;
The meaning of incidence is the
range or degree of occurrence for
effect, a helping scenario so
the two together would make
it work, one helps the other just
like we're doing now.
Get the door. Mr. Parallax?
One thing though,
it ain't our takeout.
FADE TO BLACK:
WHEN ONE DOOR OPENS
FADE IN:
INT. THE HALLWAY.
5A from a perspective of two Scandinavians that have been
told to ‘rattle the occupants to the apartment building.
WHILDSON:
5A. A disconcerting time.
(To Gridle)
How we say hello here counts. Tut.
Announce tut, announcing ourselves,
so we announce ourselves, yes.
But nothing to do with the in -
calculi.
GRIDLE:
Horst, argue with some other cent.
WHILDSON:
Aha, I'm loving of civilian life,
all shipmate shape, quality
socialite. Enough.
The boot is on each foot and ready
to kick some interesting
speculative content.
GRIDLE:
Sweden do bar b q?
WHILDSON:
We also eat placenta every day,
yes, so know of that.
The door opens.
CLOSE UP:
FRANK:
Hello?
WHILDSON:
A change of hands at the top, here,
regarding ownership, pleasantly,
now between you and me, there's an
unstable resistance of former
tenants who call every thing bloody
blue to goose, on, here it goes…
Sib appears into view.
FRANK:
I'll think you'll find out this is
a residential property,
resi – dent – ial.
WHILDSON:
Ah, prone I see.
GRIDLE:
Unlike - wise. I am Gridle and also
my associate here, Whildson.
FRANK:
Would you care on answering why
you're particularly here again?
Whildson takes a step closer.
WHILDSON:
The new landlord he thinks someone
is in here, this apartment, who
clearly should not be, and as by
measure we are sent here to remove
said person as a token gesture, of
firstly being and asking very
friendly indeed. --
GRIDLE:
-- See now, no more refresh.
FRANK:
Here's one for the both of ya'.
WHILDSON:
You stay and take this stand only
arguing the toss isn't productive
enough, it really isn't.
All we have to go on are with
received complaints, regarding
limits with are duty, we are only
checking wise at this situation so
could you be more explanatory for
me. Come lighten up, talk to me.
Talk.
FRANK:
I'll talk. Here's one for the both
of you, my ex wife, don't call me
on the phone, is easy in reality,
jeez.
Then, then, listen to me.
(Brash)
Don't look like that.
CUT TO:
Two men (bailiffs) make their ways quietly up the stairs.
FRANK: (CONT'D)
But it was apparent, she's gone
to me I'm talking to the wrong
people. If loose behavior is
recorded in an article it'll be in
an all over the front page of the
paper rag, all over the front.
Before you even get to page three,
wha - wha - wha.
(Story like)
I tell ya'.
(Pauses)
So she then says to me.
"Quote," and quoted as I stand,
but,
"but it wasn't an old one."
Was that supposed to mean?
I love you my darling husband.
I couldn't stop 'jeffin' at the
time, can you guess why about that?
SIB:
Geoff.
WHILDSON:
Geoffry.
FRANK:
Actually err yes.
Chance would be a fine thing, as I
said telling this same very solvent
who shall remain anonymous, you'll
never guess who he is called?
By the by, honestly...
(Pause)
Brass neck of the woman, mine, no
offence, loved over the years as a
bit fruity, exampled, sweet, a
little dotty but not a go - err, a
bitch. She the slag?
A damn pole dancer?
All pause.
Okey dokey.
She'll probably tell me she was in
a previous life or something close.
You know Pierre?
Geoff was the second, do you think,
I'm? Are we onto some thing here?…
SIB:
No.
WHILDSON:
Agreed.
FRANK:
Only today was cool, yeah, took my
mind of the happenings with the
fellah, who wasn't, was, apparent,
still doing the same thing…
Which was trying hard to shaft me.
They could in fact be brothers.
Trying hard I was to foil his
rapier like wit, with what he'd
said to me, pretty much as I did,
telling me so.
WHILDSON:
Good. Any - way. I am from Sweden.
Frank quiet points to Gridle.
Then he guesses an origin or two.
FRANK:
Sent from Finland?
Gridle shakes his head. (Negative)
FRANK: (CONT'D)
Orkney?
CLOSE UP:
The two bailiffs wander to the behind of the Scandinavians.
SIB:
And you two are from?
WHILDSON & GRIDLE:
Scan - di - na - vian.
A bailiff puts a hand on Whildson's shoulder.
Whildson not realizing who it is or without hesitation turns
and cracks the -- crack! Bailiff in the lip.
Gridle quickly spins around…
And as that Frank n' Sib bundle four men from the doorway.
CUT TO:
These four men topple over.
Frank gets his cell phone and distress calls 5A.
They go to the stairwell and down a flight they go.
FRANK:
Shit - shit - shitty hell down a
flight son. I'll ring 'em…
down quick.
A fight breaks out with the four men.
(Mostly judo holds)
On floor 3:
FRANK: (CONT'D)
I Don't know! Shut the door lock
the door! Get out!
Use ya' loaf n' get gone! Riggs'
in strife sonny.
Rigg is in big strife. Shush.
Inside 5A:
Val closes his cell phone remaining calm, let's Leticia know
they have to leave. And he starts to walk to the open door.
VAL:
Ah. We have to go now Lettie.
LETICIA:
Oh. Why?
She takes a sip from a mug.
Val gets to the door and closes it shut, locks, then running
back to where Leticia is situated on the balcony and steps.
LETICIA: (CONT'D)
This a way?
Floor 3:
Frank and Sib bundle into 4A.
Then quietly close the door, now, from the inside.
FRANK:
Does he have a toilet?
SIB:
Of course he has a toilet, you'll
have to ask him though it's polite.
This is Lentil's place, a resident to 4A. Only on looking
through as they walk in there are no pieces of furniture,
viable living situations or any sign of him the resident,
Lentil.
FRANK:
Lentil?
Hey Lentil?
What the bloody heck is Rigg up
too? What is the international
ground tickling competition here
for? And why am I a bookmaker
without a wife?
SIB:
3/1.
Sib goes to a window looking over the road.
The hell, are they?
Frank goes into the bathroom. Out of sight.
Sib looks through the window to one side and down below.
There are two cars parked up.
Lentil? Lentil? Psst.
Hey Lentil, where are you?
The toilet flushes.
Frank and Sib meet up in the hallway.
They walk along. Frank wipes his hands on the wall.
They then proceed further into each and every room with no
sign of Lentil.
Until…
Frank enters the last room, the kitchen, going inside.
COVERING SHOT:
INT. 4A KITCHEN.
FRANK:
Err - ah Lentil's in here, Sib?
SIB:
What?
Sib Follows up.
FRANK:
Lentil - Lentil me ol' muck how's
it hanging? Me and Sib have just
called in to see how you are. Ya'
know just passing the time of day.
SIB:
Lent? Lentil?
(Oblivious)
Phew we thought you were in some
kind of trouble as well, err I
mean... No, err no trouble at all,
all is fine. Yes all is fine. Say
Lentil any chance of a stiff drink
here me and Frank are spitting
feathers. Frank do the honours.
CLOSE UP:
Show a seat with seated Lentil, back to view.
FRANK:
Err sure. Lentil I'll get it don't
stand up on our account that's
right you just sit and stay where
you are.
Sib gets the uptake but pauses then speaks.
SIB:
You're that special aren't you.
Just open your eyes will ya!
Err Frank. Frank. Err.
(Peering in)
Is he, dead?
(Sarcastically)
This is now fact. We are in a
kitchen examining a dead person
seated in an armchair and next to
an open microwave door, hell knows.
Ah.
FRANK:
D - d - dead? You think?
Err dead? Uhhh.
Frank looks in at Sib then Lentil.
FRANK: (CONT'D)
The poor bloke has incinerated,
look! The floor!
SIB:
Tell me about it.
FRANK:
Insinuated at?
SIB:
It stands for itself. And that's
the shock of finding out, he is in
fact dead. Like err scorched,
burnt can't you smell?
(Pause)
Damn the smell, how long do we
think?
FRANK:
I mean, the sprinklers would have
come on wouldn't they?
Or an alarm gone off?
The - the lights, the lights are on.
SIB:
One is not a happy man.
FRANK:
We are - are all right here.
Aren't we?
The situation is immediately apparent. Lentil has been
electrocuted but they do have the speculation that some thing
is afoot, as an armchair is the only furniture piece he has.
Or had. Lentil is dead seated in this armchair.
SIB:
Cool it Col we haven't had any
thing to do with this, so no. No.
All we need to do is. Man, he's
fried himself and into something
like a Taiwanese lollipop factories
finest making nuke machines out
loud in a science factory gone nut.
FRANK:
Dib dob.
The sprinklers activate from no other apparent source.
Then the lights go out.
Great!!
Then the doorbell sounds...
SIB:
Just great!
FADE OUT:
PATIENTS
FADE IN:
SPAIN. 1:00 AM. SPLIT TIME.
INT. THE MEDICO CENTRE.
Darren is waiting alongside Paolo whom is lying on a bed and
sedated. A nurse enters, she is a disguised Ellie.
CLOSE UP:
ELLIE:
Are we ready to leave now?
This place is giving me the creeps.
Ellie goes for some energy drink on the cupboard top...
RIGG:
I think they're getting ready to
let me know they're keeping him in
for the night. As soon as they do,
we're out of here.
ELLIE:
Have you signed any legal yet?
RIGG:
I've been given a form to fill in,
but there are a few things I don't
understand being this is in
Spanish.
I should really be back in England
now, there's something that's
important on the go. May I have my
cell phone back?
ELLIE:
That is just a chit on what he's
gone and done, broken collar bone.
It was of is own accord wasn't it?
RIGG:
Err Yes. Tell me. Did you…
ELLIE:
-- Darren!
RIGG:
The place was a deathtrap.
ELLIE:
So you really want to buy it?
RIGG:
Well yeah. Phone now?
ELLIE:
(Pause)
How is your head?
Darren stands up. Ellie touches Darren's head.
RIGG:
Let's continue this conversation
back in the UK - over breakfast.
Do you have any change for a cab?
ELLIE:
In this? (Pointing to her uniform)
Carl pokes his head between the curtains.
CARL:
Any one - for el - ta - xi? Ooh,
we haven't met before, have we.
Carl throws a dossier to Darren.
Ellie catches this and gives Darren back his cell phone.
Darren taps Paolo on the head.
CUT TO:
INT. MEDICO CENTRE HALLWAY.
All three walk confidently to the exit keeping their heads
down and a low profile as a policia member, walks past them.
EXT. EXIT THE MEDICO CENTRE.
They make it into a cab and drive from the medico centre.
FADE TO BLACK:
WHERE FOR ART ‘THOU ROMEO?
FADE IN:
THE MORNING. EARLY.
EXT. ENGLAND. THE STREET.
The morning, and having been tied up together since the
Spain incident or accident Darren and Ellie are driven up to
the apartments.
The cab they are in stops.
CLOSE UP:
Both get out.
RIGG:
In uncertain terms my crew are
probably waiting in there, and all
you can say is please, please,
please - invite me along.
(Unloading)
The nurse convention about?
That you then tell me the nurse's
conversational was very funny, ha -
ha. Tell me then.
An insight. Please. One other
thing, why wasn't it acid? Like
that was in the zone.
ELLIE:
Hey.
Stupid little things, but mainly a
lot more incidents that are more
common than you'd think.
People are always trying to make
cash from selling body parts dead
or alive.
RIGG:
Aha, I agree, but Ellie?
You do the macabre bit and I'll
stick to my original idea.
How did you know of Paolo being
admitted? That was the point.
ELLIE:
I want in. It was my plan!
The cabbie looks out of the window for payment.
Ellie obliges, whilst, Darren shuts the boot of the cab.
RIGG:
What I did wasn't to an exact
plan! And you still haven't said
how you knew.
(Pause)
Ah home of sorts.
(Poses)
Formidable entrants await and stood
next to me all you can say - is
no Darren.
'I am a poof.
(Pause)
You're meant to be a girl - friend.
They both head to the large glass door, at the apartments.
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
ELLIE:
I guess, no one - really likes the
question asked of them being gay,
whether or not they are... or
metro, coz that just means gay.
Me though I'm not some dotty hen pecked
participant in convention, because
it makes me sick, sick just
thinking about it.
Oh. Next you'll be proposing...
Besides, you're looking like the
weights on top of the cops bit,
with a Spanish cleaners arrival.
Hello. 'Hola, was she good?
RIGG:
Err no more simile then.
Ellie.
Only one - it does mean they're
sniffing around as well.
The authorities, we did get seen.
Which has made me uneasy as well as
you're nature toward doing it
right.
I've have a spatula to scrape my
tongue upstairs if need be,
lying cow.
Rigg notices a lock mechanism on the inside of the main door.
(Methodical viewing)
Thanks for telling me about the
sink. Replacement, what the hell.
When did this go up?
A notification better be up in the
pigeon, hole.
That's tricky to work.
Ellie scoots past Darren now inside heading up the stairs...
Ha!
ELLIE:
You are a bloody ‘chancer with nothing.
RIGG:
You are lying to me.
ELLIE:
All the time.
RIGG:
-- Yeah yeah I'd say your not.
Ellie notices a pot plant tipped up on one side on the –
4th floor.
Then Rigg does.
RIGG: (CONT'D)
Shit, what a mess.
Ellie waits outside 5A.
RIGG:
Keys, keys, keys and in then.
One question only. Bathroom first?
Yes you can use the bathroom first.
I know I know.
ELLIE:
Thank you, you are actually a gentleman.
RIGG:
I'll put the kettle on and then we
can recline do some talking.
Rigg poses up to Ellie.
She looks blankly.
Then they sweetly kiss.
Breaking up abruptly. (Doorway enter)
RIGG:
Frank?
Frankie?!
ELLIE:
Who?
RIGG:
Nothing, just tell me if there's a
short guy in the tub!
Rigg goes into 5A turning off a light, dropping his bag.
Ellie rushes into the bathroom closing that door, locked.
RIGG:
Damn Frank where you all at?
He wanders through to the main living area.
Rigg smiles at the new sink in the kitchen.
Then Darren opens up the A - scape doorway.
Ah, nothing like being at home.
CLOSE UP:
Whoa!!
Damn!
(Pause)
How?!
COVERING SHOT:
Where's the balcony?!
A couple of pigeons from a roost fly off.
Cars noise in the background.
Rigg holds on to his footing as a lower element has gone...
Rigg rushes back to his computer system in the living room.
He passes the sofa still on its end, with a sheet over it.
CLOSE UP:
RIGG: (CONT'D)
Thanks for the sink Ellie.
Come on.
Sit, work this out, power on, power
on.
That's a foundation a 75ft drop!
Ellie?!
E - mails.
Ad lame.
Ad lame.
This one reads, got to a computer
and it's good isn't it.
Yes Frank, it's called punctuation.
And one that says.
Rigg grasps the mouse.
Get out of my apartment block?
Anonymous.
From way last week.
Rigg looks to a clock.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE PARK.
Yearling is seated on a park bench with a lap - top computer.
Sun shines onto the newly mowed grass.
This causes the shadows of two other men, Gridle n' Whildson.
Yearling wolf whistles at passers by...
CLOSE UP:
Gridle and Whildson unhook earpieces and walk away.
BACK TO:
INT. 5A.
Rigg turns off his web - cam.
Yearling speaks through via headset.
YEARLING:
Fly boy. Touch another void then,
over. Speak to me, be the blade
of whisper as only you know and
can.
RIGG:
Who?
YEARLING:
Casual then Rigg.
Say what you mean, be probable,
think first though. You are
momentarily free to go if you like.
Yearling taps a key on the lap - top. Bleep.
The device over the door, the main door to the apartments,
locks.
YEARLING:
Play time over, the way out is
there but 70's put an idea of space
travel to one side because everyone
would like to go 'pan style on
holiday.
Need a whizz yet? Ha - ha.
CUT TO RIGG:
Boldly going?
CUT TO YEARLING:
Found this out yesterday, my
nephew...
CUT TO RIGG:
Darren?
CUT TO YEARLING:
Still there aren't you, good.
Nice touch but weak by all
accounts, like the nephew I got but
all of a 'bendy in a Spanish
hospital, he told me not to say any
thing in Urdu but his gender to me
is still blood more than water.
Guessing yet? Yes he's my nephew.
CUT TO:
RIGG:
Nephew? Ah.
YEARLING:
Be Still blood. Gay. But horses
for courses and all this fizz jazz,
isn't helping me much is it.
(Pause)
Back to the clanger's in space, or
as you fashionable people say
"Ibiz" research got away with loads
of right bits but do we clamber
like proverbial Martians trying to
terror form time to time in a
larger form, my heads getting
bigger as I speak, read, copy? No?
Ah well.
Don't ask, whatever that means I
truly don't know. But mess with
Paul again and I'll pain you after
death, so behave. And relief in my
tactical administration, say, I'll
do that part shall I, because I
can. Me? I'm a bloody news -
reel, you're pathetic.
Movement off?
And 80's soapy this isn't, okay.
The 90's like to be sure, wouldn't
one. Presently I'm not there no,
but I'm in a park surrounded by
natures finest, a litter - bin a
tramp, trees, shrubs, and you're
about to know why.
Ah, bought the block off the market
because it was on the market.
Business.
To normality yet?
Clowning around wasn't my forte and
neither was it Ellie's, my.
Wait for it... wait for it.
Now she's only my closest business
associate and the bit on the side.
Lovely, it is, really is.
Ha ha love that love me love that.
Trouble ye not or worry pretty
heads over the matter of three's
up, but just generally sob and
listen to what I have to say too,
you, now...
CLOSE UP:
I'm now in talks with a solicitor
of mine little be known to Paolo
stroke Paul - my 'neph, stupidly
not doing his families duty well
enough call it want you want. I'd
like to call the term squealing but
I like the term because he's like
my younger brother, like a
younger one piddling his way, but
understand, understand!
THE RACE!
The 160, how about this, gets to me
as £160, only that you know of, but
I'm out of the chase stakes for
now, so where did it go? Darren,
where? Where did the joke go?
(Pause)
I need 160 thousand, not in bottle
tops, dinar, space credits,
athlete's foot scrape, no less
than. Grand - large.
Due, course, and on and in no
foreign counterpart.
Basically when Will took my
interest, he was completely dead,
full stop, cry.
BACK TO:
RIGG:
So you did kill William Howell.
Interesting.
YEARLING:
To recap your think time. Yes…
Hands on buzzers.
You have 4 minutes in a warning, in
an approximate 160 seconds, guess?
0 batteries - included, do not give
my Ellie a re - whirl, but, at the
end of that time it was 160
thousand wasn't it.
Reply to me with an ongoing verbal
agreement staying with my
organization here on in and about
my realm.
Helping me recover my filthy - less
green and keeping the foe at bay,
or because your con was unclear
helping me make some more, or...
You will be returned from hello -
Hello - hello at approximately 220
seconds for trespass.
Take all the time in the corridor
that you reside in, that's all
you've got and had.
Starting.
Starting from now.
Darren shuts off his computer and quickly goes to the hallway
picking up his bag (Hold all)
I knew it. If I ruled the world
eh, no famine, stupidity, virgin
politicians, wasps, chrysanthemums,
or generally fucking Darren Rigg.
Darren makes it into the hallway closing 5A door and locking
it shut. He whispers a few words to himself...
CLOSE UP:
RIGG:
Have power - lose power.
Yearling in a park, novel,
trustless, office - less, now I'm
homeless.
Where the hell too? Tut.
Rigg swings his bag on the shoulder and goes down a flight of
steps, looking to a wrist watch as he quickly walks away.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE PARK.
Yearling stands closing his lap - top and walks to an exit.
Meanwhile.
The door to 4A opens slightly.
CLOSE UP:
INT. 4A.
Then the door fully opens and a man in dungarees stands.
This is Acom, a friend.
Rigg notices the man and rushes over to him.
ACOM:
Long - left?
The main door is on a timed lock,
so it's my way or the highway.
RIGG:
Two minutes. I saw already.
ACOM:
Through - here.
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
EXT. THE STREET.
A police car rolls up to the kerb outside the apartment
block, Ellie is shown trying to open the door to 5A.
CUT TO:
INT. YEARLINGS CAR.
Marcus Yearling gets into his car and waits for a minute.
BACK TO:
INT. 4A. LIVING AREA. (REMEMBER NO FURNITURE)
Acom picks up a hook ladder going for the old A - scape, now
missing and adjusts this to get away from the property.
Darren goes first with a cell phone in hand calling back
Yearling.
Darren is on the first of the steps.
RIGG:
Ya' haven't got half a mouth you
muppet.
Yearling on cell phone.
YEARLING:
Fuck it Rigg! You're already in
the house of pending constabulary.
And dead from the inside out!
RIGG:
You'll never work this out, ciao.
The call is terminated by Yearling.
CLOSE UP:
EXT. THE HOOK LADDER.
Rigg goes down the ladder followed by Acom whom is carrying a
microwave oven.
Darren gets to the bottom falling off on his backside…
RIGG:
Well what's this about?
ACOM:
Ready meals for one or what I saw,
like the butler noticing all sorts
of stuff.
Flipping heck Darren there was a
German workforce sprawling over
this place all night, I've seen a
quick job before but not like that,
it was awesome.
Acom jumps off the ladder still holding the appliance.
RIGG:
Van?
ACOM:
Good idea.
Then they both calmly walk to a van parked in that car park.
FADE TO BLACK:
PROBLEM WITH THE BLANK
FADE IN:
THAT NIGHT.
EXT. A QUIET POOL HALL.
Darren is now speaking acutely as he makes the others aware
of the glimpse of things to come. He explains his past and
present. Rigg stands with a pool cue resting on the table.
COVERING SHOT
IN:
Sibs' arm is behind his back standing adjacent to the table.
RIGG:
Frank? Frank. Shoot.
FRANK:
We get into the empty living space,
after finding the corpse - "Lentil"
the 4a doorbell bell goes...
Err ding dong and it nearly was.
I go for the door as Sib tells me
to stop as he didn't want to open
it, just for laughs...
The bailiffs, ask us pleasantly to
leave, I hold up Lentil taking him
to the exit and usher him out so we
pass as drunkards, belch, and
quietly leave the 4a apartment, all
safe and sound. Sib nearly gets
into a scuffle asking why, and so,
that's why they don't reply, it was
kind of sinister - I mean who
evicts the run of the mill folk at
flipping the last thing at night?
The question I'll answer next is
why did I pick Lentil up... Answer?
I don't know - why I just did okay,
it was going to get messy and I
thought we should take him out of
the way, it was sort of an excuse
but we are here now and it worked,
but there in lies the problem,
Lentil is in my laundry cupboard.
Dead.
You thinking it was really foul
play?
CLOSE UP:
RIGG:
Yes. I'm next...
Rigg plays a shot.
And so, every thing must be in the
right direction. Money is the
problem. Lentil is the problem and
I have a big - big problem with
that.
We are all tied up in a diabolical
hold here. Any ideas?
No?
Play on then. Play on. I bet you
Frank, you won't make the pot.
This £160.
Rigg puts down £160 pounds on the table - top.
Frank goes quickly into a shot playing cue ball off table.
FRANK:
Ooh crap.
He's right, listen, how much is
the problem?!
And what have you been up too?!
RIGG:
Yesterday, it was only £160 thou.
Only today and now the stakes have
changed also of course, we are all
involved.
This is what happened.
I prove useful to Marcus -
Yearling... That story?
He has cash, this cash that is
interest likely, which was a total
of £160,000 is transacted through
his business asset into a European
federal account initially by some
one called William Howell.
An accident - injury specialist.
By the way he's deceased…
And I find this out at his funeral,
when an obscure tap starts to begin
by his solicitor. Yes solicitors
do have their own solicitors, it's
crazy.
SIB:
I hate that word.
FRANK:
-- What? Dead? Lawyers?
SIB:
-- Dead. Yes! Dead. Solicitors.
RIGG:
-- Whoa, whoa, let me finish.
From a hit. From, a, hit.
SIB:
A damn, hit?
RIGG:
Aha. Named Dajs.
Local sort, value for
money, I here. So you know now.
These solicitor's knew of a giant
mass total being hidden with what
shouldn't of been £160,000, until,
William had miscalculated…
only how come? Why indeed?
VAL:
Bent?
RIGG:
Yearling's capped interest finds
itself moving through a capitol
infrastructure programme, where
probably just an ordinary book
format was hiding a real, the real,
amount from which Howell had laundered
some organization from, this an
entirely unknown source, only - the
financial market falls to its knees
doesn't it - and William's then
temporary transfer set up system
completely collapses because of the
obviously obvious problem with
corporation and today's banking -
that runs into… and was in global
meltdown.
VAL:
Was he bent?
But.
Err do continue...
FRANK:
-- I have just shit myself.
RIGG:
So William, some how had to find a
real quick express route getting
out of dodge but he only goes and
gets caught with his trousers down
around his ankles, whilst Yearling
does a spot of recovery work
himself, as you would, putting his
own and most available value into
the same federal storage at the
same time protecting his
speculative organization a money
pool of little intricate charades
with the horses as a preliminary
input to test the water as cover
before he decides to execute what
he's worth which puts William's
mistaken accumulation into breech
and a rapid succession of all his
'naughties, for every one and not -
particular for Yearling to see, as
he tries and steadies his ship from
running aground.
Now what I do know, from the last
point of contact his solicitor,
William's, gave me a verbal amount
on how much William had took, which
was - £160,000, but that whole mass
amount in the European federal
storage account as well is about to
be timed right exiting by us, all.
FRANK:
Whoa – whoa - how m - much are we
talking here?
RIGG:
A last recovery access point for a
regular business type, apart from
now 1, it being a normal current
account, and 2, in a good banks
name, and maybe, yes a lot of
solicitor's know, last gasp, last
chance and who's name is on the
headed note paper on the desk in
front of everybody and all the
staff to see?
I was getting used by William.
Me.
SIB:
You?
VAL:
The bank manager gonna say?
RIGG:
His little accident had started the
whole mess and that's how we are
going to finish it. With me.
William's funeral solicitor
Geraint, said;
The accumulation was...
Hold tight. Ready?
Pinpointed to around 4.2 million,
four point two, million sterling,
that's 4.2 million - which has made
the legal access stage any day now.
Get the problem? …Happens next?
Now. A dead man shows up not two
yards away in the same building.
Ellie is involved as an associate
with Yearling and we have no call
yet from this last solicitor but
only a card and a no show, after
previous contact attempts,
completely, nothing. But why?
William Howell was killed by the
unfortunate twist in this charade,
Dajs. Dajs like I said. A hit man
Yearling uses from time to time. --
CUT TO:
ACOM:
Good to know, gawd.
RIGG:
I do think Lentil seems linked in
some way, and that's what we have
to try and figure out.
All pause
I'm sorry but - but now you know.
Darkest Poland sounds good doesn't
it for the be and end all ATM,
transaction, somewhere, where ever.
Good.
But - to the parallax, the trick,
the cover for all our backs,
getting out of the mess, we are in.
(Pause?)
I have hope and your good natured
err warranted concentration.
Which means we need to fix in the
broken parts of Lentil first to get
out of this mess. Parallax comes
secondary but keep it in mind.
FRANK:
I can't see. Down to it's err 4
million! Bloody… Almighty!
VAL:
-- 4!
RIGG:
4.2 this is what we're going to do.
FLICKER TO:
THE NEXT MORNING. 09:47 AM.
INT. THE LIBRARY METRIC.
Show Rigg's crew now standing in a library over a table.
The time is 09:48 AM.
All the crew are tightly packed up listening to Darren.
RIGG:
Val, you got through to ‘GEL the
solicitor’s and gave 'Geraint a time
on where and when to meet regarding
a claim for compensation from an
accident which I set up by getting
out of being followed by and on
behalf of Paolo, or Paul as he's
called in Yearling's family.
VAL:
We know of the bailiffs pulling a
dodgy operation and that's where we
step in on there own patch across
the street, at, what time did you
say?
RIGG:
-- 10 on it.
Good. We kill two birds with one
stone, Frank? Touchy subject but
Lentil, Lentil, he is, in your car?
Check?
FRANK:
Of course I would of turned myself
in but I do in contrast have some
sort of life.
And insurance ya' know.
RIGG:
Good. This is how it could of,
I think, gone.
Dajs killed Lentil. How?
We arrive, the sprinklers go on the
lights go out, that was Acom
testing the prone area.
Lentil gets removed by Frank,
however, that weapon microwave,
went walk – walk - walk out of the open
eviction with the awkward decision
when you took Lentil, so what?
It was swapped.
The exhibit we've got isn't that
microwave its a regular sort as
Acom tested it all last night.
The bailiffs they didn't and
wouldn't of known, no. They were
there just to kick folk out and
recover objects.
The bailiffs would of actually seen
it as an accidental death, it
wasn't. It was a hit, like I said,
an incident.
From what Val notices also, last
night and particularly he sees a
bunch, yes a bunch, of illegal
immigrants from across the street
get dropped of from a van in the
dark of night which could of meant
only one thing... The block was
and is now totally full of invalid
entrants into the U.K.
That microwave Frank witnessed was
swapped for an original safe one,
before Acom looked around we know
this …okay? Good, again, how?
Two days before I had left for
Ibiza, there were sales - men
badgering the block for new
combined ovens, microwaves, etc...
The salesman, didn't get anywhere
with their pitch and quietly leave
when nobody wants what they were
selling. Then, then there were
flyers sent basically using last
chance tactics to sell these ovens.
VAL:
The pot plant was Ellie's cover
that would of seen you in the
clink.
RIGG:
Yes. A code of sorts for Ellie,
yes, flyers, yes, real salesman yes
but a seriously nasty microwave
with an electronic attachment to
the wrong folk strictly on purpose.
Was Lentil an illegal immigrant him
self? Maybe.
But why kill him?
He had died two days previously to
when you had found him.
Which meant they knew of me being
away, but could, could he just of
been a stooge, in Yearling's
scheme? The Scandinavians' get
given the wrong door yet the truth
is we actually still don't know...
Lentil's death wasn't an accident. -
Bang! The pot plant goes over and
this is all in a days work for Dajs
as he takes the microwave away when
the German's get to work on
securing the block.
How did it enter? The microwave
goes in posted by Dajs underneath
the salesmen's undelivered pitch...
The microwave was posted as a pick
up for free oblique, if you're
there you'd pick it up and take it
in, wouldn't you. Wouldn't you?
If your poor you would it was free.
ACOM:
That him?
Acom looks out of the window pointing to a lone man.
Maybe that part was an accident,
whoa.
FRANK:
Bowler, trim, suit, looks like it
fatty. Made to look like it was an
accident.
RIGG:
We're in one.
We get to a television as soon as
possible because of Yearling being
involved in trying to straighten
his name pretty quickly, with what
went on as we do have that inside
line and Frank bets an amount -
£160 thou? That's in the 4x4, no
chance, he only loses £160 on
purpose to up heave the woe of the
day's events, basically a crud
horse on a rotten race - course
that shouldn't of stood a cats
chance of winning because of the
technical discrepancies and
sophisticated finishing post of any
"new?" Course, the new dilemma,
like it was going to swallow them
all up and maybe get interviewed by
a fake media pundit with a gun up
his nose, sharing rearranged
rosters for a corrupt creation at a
specific time later today, any
thing is possible, especially if
it's live, or pre recorded.
Frank notices that man (GEL - Geraint)
go into the porch of the bailiffs office.
FRANK:
He's early.
Frank looks to the library clock. 09:50 AM.
FADE OUT:
LIBRARY METRIC
FADE IN:
INT. THE LIBRARY DOORWAY.
They all so far are still calm following orders from Rigg.
Inside: Val and Carl look over a table with a blueprint.
RIGG:
Remember, no one push the panic
button, until we are - seriously in
the myre.
The bank is still what we need to
focus on here, because, God forbid,
if we are all inside we can't do
much about it.
SIB:
We could of done this at a rush
hour.
CUT TO:
EXT. FRANK'S METRO BOOT.
CLOSE UP:
Show outside and side view of FRANKS' car boot opening.
SIB goes for LENTIL out of the boot.
COVERING SHOT:
View RIGG walking slowly across the road, it is busy with
traffic, FRANK follows, ACOM holds a body bag at the car.
RIGG approaches steps to the porch of the 'BAILIFFS OFFICE.
CLOSE UP:
FRANK waddles to the edge of the kerb.
COVERING SHOT:
SIB puts LENTIL over a shoulder negotiating the road.
CLOSE UP:
ACOM follows SIB.
CUT TO:
A car pulls into a space outside the 'BAILIFF OFFICES.
CLOSE UP:
SIB holds onto LENTIL nearing the steps.
BACK TO:
INT. THE LIBRARY.
VAL:
A doctor? We transfer information
on how to negotiate the situation.
CARL:
Distance encapsulates the tone.
OUTSIDE:
CUT TO:
FRANK:
Sib?! What did the bailiffs look
like the other night?!
SIB swings around for a look.
As RIGG approaches the office an almighty explosion takes
place. Boom!!
[CONTROLLED SCENE]
SIB is blown forwards.
FRANK freezes as RIGG is floored.
FRANK: (CONT'D)
Almighty!!
INSIDE LIBRARY:
VAL strokes his chin.
VAL:
Doc? Did you just here something?
Val instantly goes into a camera bag going for the exit.
FRANK notices a missile hit the side of a bus, this causes a
giant black mark on a face on an advertisement board.
SIB leaves LENTIL on the steps to the building.
FRANK goes to a burning beam lighting a cigar at arms length.
SIB:
Can we get out of here?!!
CLOSE UP:
EXT. THE BUSY ROAD.
VAL takes pictures on the way to the building and the others.
ACOM:
Hey! Where are you going?!
ACOM gets into FRANK'S car holding the body bag.
He quickly gets transmission and reverses into the busy road
attempting to get close to the two who wait and now VAL.
FRANK walks to RIGG.
FRANK:
Don't worry it was only an
explosion! And it weren't no
cooker!!
CUT TO:
CARL oversights from the LIBRARY.
He notices FRANK'S car spin in a free space and bang upside a
parked car. Then the doors open and in get RIGG, FRANK, VAL.
VAL:
Just drive the car will you!
ACOM:
Just drive the car will you?!
It's not moving!
FRANK:
Yeah yeah. So this Dajs would be a
regular sort of ‘kill machine,
great.
COVERING SHOT
IN:
INT. FRANK'S METRO.
ACOM manoeuvres forwards then reverses again…
Into a car.
ACOM:
Soz.
FRANK:
My car like.
RIGG:
Let's do that then!
VAL:
Through there, you'll just have to
nudge them!
ACOM clunks the gears.
CLOSE UP:
ACOM:
Forwards?
RIGG:
How instinctive would that be.
FRANK:
Yes!
VAL:
Shouldn't be too hard.
A break in traffic takes the drivers attention and ACOM goes
for it, driving as quickly as he can, but what about Sib?
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
CARL walks to the parked car.
The BAILIFF stunned and closest gets out of his car.
He goes to the edge of the burning building, CARL watches.
CLOSE UP:
Then SIB appears behind the BAILIFF grasping his neck.
SIB pulls him along to the body bag and drops him.
A FIRE ENGINE quickly gets to the scene.
BAILIFF 1:
Ah! Get offa me!
SIB:
Your job was bent so you take the
fall.
BAILIFF 1:
Who's in that?
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
A POLICE CAR makes way to the vacant spot in the road.
SIB:
A representative from your office.
BAILIFF 1:
Really?
SIB then scarper's across the road.
The POLICE MEN catch the BAILIFF unzipping the bag with
LENTIL as CARL witness to this blazes out a statement.
CARL:
Can I offer any assistance?!
I'm a Doctor! A bloody good one!
This man is linked to the deceased!
The POLICE MEN collar the bailiff.
Now CARL punches the air in glee.
Meanwhile:
FADE TO:
EXT. THE YEARLING MANSION:
German work men bombard the door shouting the odds at the
mansion where Yearling resides with a guest. Gridle this
other side is seen holding the door to stop them getting in.
CLOSE UP:
GRIDLE:
German dummies, they're scaring the
wildlife off the land.
Show Ellie in a sports car view entering the court - yard.
(In car view)
Ellie in car slowly proceeds with caution up the track way -
She stops the car.
Ellie quickly shifts gear to a higher power.
Then races toward the huddled German work - force.
She looks forward with intensity.
Suddenly ELLIE pulls a hand break manoeuvre and swerves
alongside the GROUP OF MEN stopping quickly.
A few men stand back…
CUT TO:
YEARLING'S OFFICE:
A large window is in immediate view and two men are looking
over the courtyard, backs to view at the situation below.
DAJS the hit - man is with MARCUS YEARLING.
DAJS:
She darling is also so vivid, see,
it was a jest and no fait accompli
like - able, very much the way as
nearly, oh so.
What indescribable feeling I have,
just looking at her. They chant
like feeding time frenzies in a
parlour for ants as the queen
arrives back into the chamber.
YEARLING:
My err my Ellie?
DAJS:
Exile, questionable, are you in?
My beta format, one get out of jail
card, for a truth that cannot be
told, standing here I shall say,
the revolution of France, had it an
occurrence of slight over
indulgence have you thought?
Think.
She died, pish, you have said, eat
cake, so must you think it.
They have also said this and that
and be killed, she was meant to of
said nothing.
So a French mob bashed her head in
at a precise time, disgusting, also
hung during dark times, which way
round was this? The head!
Dragging the corpse?
The idea is chronic.
Escape was order of the day, the
stench of the shit in the corner
would of been found yet doubles for
a Pimpernel, bloody, red, bruised,
wig - less, this wasn't, of course.
Hell it could of been one same man
whom helped the bitch to safety
whilst up it. Lady in waiting,
please, a drunk mob and hanged?
'Par le vous, la en Français?
In a room like this as example.
Very large and womanly...
Was this business? Did she escape?
YEARLING:
Damn Germans', very good at the odd
job, and all, there, present and
correct, very good at the job,
arguing isn't the strong point
though, down to the war, too many -
misty eyes.
DAJS:
Just pay them handsomely for those
quarrelling bunch of German fuck's,
start to annoy.
Come, get out the cheque book and
start to repay your debt, I'm not
that expensive, a hoe maybe, only
help these poor fool first, if you
will, or I will pin you to their
view. Ooh.
Please now expense - less them no
further, here...
DAJS puts a hand into combat jacket.
Let me help you.
Then he butts YEARLING out cold with a fist… - crack!
YEARLING falls to the floor.
I shall say this, only once more,
you cross me again, with Darren
Rigg and I will kill every single
one of them, because trace - meant
means death of that stench to add.
Thank you for being viewed today.
Ivoirière, fat - legs.
Thor?! Your keys please.
I would take the car but all things
lopsided, I'll take the car!
Don't watch the show for too long
starry nights!
They're only comprehensive!
DAJS leaves the room via the main door...
DAJS walks to the edge of a long corridor.
DAJS tips over a statuette on a plinth, this breaks. SMASH!
DAJS walks into the KITCHEN straight past a CHEF.
DAJS leaves the exit to KITCHEN.
DAJS goes back into the KITCHEN.
DAJS tastes the soup...
DAJS grimaces and drops some keys into the pot.
DAJS leaves the KITCHEN and goes into the back of COURT YARD.
DAJS gets into YEARLINGS CAR.
DAJS hot wires the engine via breaking the dash with a foot.
DAJS slowly speeds up the vehicle.
DAJS goes through a barrier, this breaks, very slowly.
DAJS --
Speeds down the main court yard track way and away from the
PROPERTY.
CUT TO:
INT. YEARLING'S OFFICE:
ELLIE enters.
WHILDSON comes out from the secret drinks cupboard hold.
Both spot each other at the same time.
ELLIE:
Oh - that was a smart move!
WHILDSON:
Yes yes, he was safe.
Pity there's nothing in it.
ELLIE:
You foolish.
Yearling groans.
BACK TO:
INT. YEARLINGS CAR.
Whilst on his route away DAJS handles a detonation device.
He pulls a telescopic Ariel out from the top with his teeth
and presses a switch... --
ELLIE'S car explodes.
COVERING SHOT
OUTSIDE:
Boom! [CONTROLLED AREA EXPLOSION]
CUT TO:
Back in the office they all freeze standing still.
YEARLING tries to get up holding on to a curtain that rips
away from the castors and the curtain falls onto his frame.
YEARLING:
Well help him up then!
ELLIE:
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Where was that?!
WHILDSON:
Your, car.
YEARLING:
Turn the television on! Uh?! No!
Don't turn the television on!
WHILDSON now at the window looks over the COURT YARD.
WHILDSON:
The television system will be okay,
sir? Sir!
You're okay, we on the other hand
need our payment now or even double
salary as the migrant force have
now, little argument.
CLOSE UP:
EXT. THE COURTYARD.
The GERMAN'S are sprawling on the ground.
ELLIE: (OFFICE)
All the documents for the hospital
records were in there, amongst my
fucking life, lipstick, contact
base. Crisis here!
YEARLING:
Was that meant to of been funny?
The telephone starts to ring on his desk.
-- Answer that then!
WHILDSON:
Network Broadcast.
MATCH CUT TO:
INT. THE DAILY'S ELEVATOR.
Darren, Frank, Val are in this elevator going up.
Rigg, holds the cell - phone up to the speaker playing hold.
(Music)
BACK TO:
WHILDSON:
It appears we are on hold.
ELLIE:
Give me that here…
I'm due to announce Marcus' live
air chat to the program executive.
Ellie snatches the telephone.
Ellie listens to the music.
CUT TO:
INT. VAL'S WORK OFFICE.
FRANK:
For one, I need to re - affirm the
tongue hair I've got left, after
that hotness seared into my gob -
like.
Jeez, beechnut wept, ah - k, nearly
choked, hey, drink water!
Water - cooler in this place?!
VAL:
Over - there.
The water cooler.
CLOSE UP:
Frank takes a cup waiting for this to fill parting his hair.
As that Val flips up his lap - top computer, Rigg states.
RIGG:
The show's due to start any minute
now.
Val presses the streaming key.
Presenter: (OS)
Hello and welcome to Racing.
RIGG: (CONT'D)
Authentic start.
Presenter:
-- At the last time we were unsure, but uproar had and has
occurred... The whole entire industry brought to its knees by
an enquiry of enormous proportion with one of last weeks
major handicap chases, which we simply do need to get our
noses into and ahead of the finishing line as it still
prolongs.
-- Post, the order of the day, with certain ongoing headlines
which read "outright farce" in major tabloids and racing
publications alike, also the general public interest,
expectant of what really did go on that fateful day. We do
expertly need to examine and draw conclusion.
RIGG: (CONT'D)
Frank! Over here.
Frank is ogling a secretary.
FRANK:
Hey.
I just had a thought, when I bet
the amount, it was the favorite
right? --
RIGG:
-- You tell me. You said it was.
VAL:
Quiet.
Presenter:
We can speculate, come to pretence, deliver somewhat of an
obscure opinion, majorities can, but the fact of fruition
means we are the first here to bring it all to you, here -
first. Digression - 'One poor had undergone tests after the
sincerest moments of the ill fated short life span of not
nearly long enough. The horse of that moment had been
initially put down after breaking both legs after a
catastrophic jockey manoeuvre from which, the jockey in
question, gets a life time ban for testing positive, yes,
positive with a banned and illegal substance, the enquiry
concludes. This is now currently shocking the nation, but is
that all? We couldn't link to our guest today because of
some technical difficulties but problems aside, we do have a
sound bite from that race's participant 'backer extroidinare
a one Mr. Marcus Yearling at the time of the race, just a
short few days ago...
Frank takes a sip on the cup.
RIGG:
I bet on the favorite - right?
That came in fourth.
Yearling's came in third, Digital
was second, and of course 'One poor
got totalled by the remainder of
the field, but, but it does leave
one question of Yearling being
ecstatic and very happy indeed,
only why? After all he did only
come err third. --
VAL:
Who won?
CUT TO:
Somewhere else:
A stable door opens.
(Dialogue voice to action)
FRANK:
Don't rub it in.
That's beside the point.
Dajs walks into stable and shoots a horse in the head.
VAL:
Don't rub it in?
FRANK:
No.
The winning horse was 'Ice cream.
Dajs kicks the fallen horse and leaves the stable.
VAL:
Ring any bells?
RIGG:
No. Who owns 'Ice cream?
VAL:
Mr. Whippy. The internet?
RIGG:
Yeah. Quick, but keep the show on.
FRANK:
The field were mainly French.
RIGG:
It's not renowned with money,
is it.
FRANK:
Not renowned with money?
Listen, if it's horse racing it's
renowned with money. Fact here.
VAL:
Consortiums consortium’s, say's here
that.
FRANK:
-- Just downscale that a bit.
Means a partner; a wife or to
associate with unsuitable people,
so get on with it, that means to
accord. --
VAL:
Touche away.
Let me finish - yeah.
The consortium of the French outfit
- backing "Ice cream" had two
unknown sources of finance,
financing the early days of the
said horse, where the national
press had narrowed down the
investors to two places of origin.
But as it is here, it's still
coming up as unknown.
There's no information only facts
and figures of the horses
achievements. Which means, we're
all in the dark.
CUT TO:
THE APARTMENT BLOCK:
ACOM is in a room in the apartments 5A: And listening into
another apartment with a wireless headset.
He listens in but can't make any thing out as this language
is native AFRICAN.
BACK TO:
VAL: (CONT'D)
Got it. Found. Circa - two years
ago. From an independent
undercover source through Irish
connections... Yearling is and was
linked with an Arabian syndicate
consortium when 'Ice Cream starts
to race, about 4 years ago. This
reads as;
'Entrant - a new breed, backing,
finance, major calendar worthy, a
new horse on the hoof guaranteed,
"and in town," to win and with
aplomb. "Ice Cream" today - has
never looked so good for all of the
above, especially so for Mr. Marcus
Yearling whom on once owning the
thoroughbred. The horse now is
ready to go, and with this,
remarkable prospect for racing in
quite sometime from being bought
within a unique private sports
enterprize in the Arab states…
RIGG:
Got it. No more.
Back to the show.
The three look in at the lap - top, as a sound - bite from
Marcus Yearling is aired.
Presenter:
Now here again, we have the previously heard comments from
Mr. Marcus Yearling. --
YEARLING:
-- Simply and I'll keep this short,
with corruption unresolved and in
the certain circles as we gather
information obtained - narcotic
abuse formally with named jockeys
in today's race is and totally
unacceptable in any terms.
I find this behavior disgusting and
all concerned should be thrown out
of racing all together, with and I
repeat with severe punishment in my
own opinion. --
RIGG:
He had a lot to say.
VAL:
Trafficking humans, bent horse
racing, money laundering.
RIGG:
That was William Howell.
FRANK:
Killing people, what job did you do
for him?
RIGG:
Gardener. Err ran some, stuff.
VAL:
Lady Chatterly.
RIGG:
Err, ran some foliage. Once.
Bumped into getting out of the
scheme with accidental ease
dropping, good job eh.
FADE OUT:
THE SECOND RACE
FADE IN:
THAT AFTERNOON.
RACECOURSE:
LETICIA is watching a race at mid - day dressed in formal
attire. She is at a window in the bar waving to VAL down in
THE STAND.
CUT TO:
NATIONAL BANK:
This is busy with folk.
SIB walks into the NATIONAL BANK dressed as a SHEIK.
He walks to a DESK in the main area looking confused and
feigning - feeling faint.
CUT TO:
RACECOURSE:
VAL looks up toward the window at LETICIA.
FRANK has casual attire on with a body warmer looking at a
finishing race next to the PADDOCK.
CUT TO:
NATIONAL BANK:
A member of the staff brings a chair to SIB with a cup of
water... SIB seats down wafting a paper to his face.
CUT TO:
THE APARTMENTS:
ACOM is in the LOFT SPACE tinkering around with a hardware
implement knocking himself taintless in the head waiting.
CUT TO:
RACECOURSE:
FRANK is now at a BURGER BAR. He quickly swipes a kitchen
utensil as no one is looking on the surface where the sauce
is, he slowly walks backwards.
NATIONAL BANK:
SIB looks to TODD'S desk winking at TODD.
He continues to write.
SIB:
Psst. Psst. Psst. Hey.
TODD:
(Pause)
May I help Sir?
SIB:
Certainly.
SIB hands a piece of A4 paper onto TODD'S - DESK.
SIB: (CONT'D)
You you, you read now.
TODD at first shakes his head only SIB sternly looks on.
TODD reads;
A4: TODD, hello, I'm here for you to help me out with a
transaction of money from my account, which is only active
from 12:15 PM.
I am holding the numbers on this card and need you to process
this immediately from this time specified into another
account which is written down at the bottom of this pledge.
Please it's very important you do this as we have not much
time. Yours the SHEIK. >NUMBERS AND AMOUNT OF DETAIL<
The clock reads 12:13 PM.
Todd shakes his head. (Negative)
CUT TO:
EXT. THE HIGH STREET.
ELLIE is walking to her destination at the APARTMENT BLOCK.
CUT TO:
THE APARTMENTS:
ACOM looks in at a watch.
CUT TO:
RACECOURSE:
FRANK looks to a TOTE... ('REG) in a betting STALL.
CUT TO:
EXT. YEARLING'S GARDENS.
YEARLING:
Gassy my man. Hello, I'd like you
to do some work for me, in England,
shouldn't really talk obituary over
the telephone but I need you to
kill, yes kill someone for me.
Aha.
This won't take too long but I want
you to do this at a prompt time,
The damn greenfly are rife...
Yes, sure, of course.
Our payment will be very large
indeed if we all pull together at a
calculated but calm hour.
Ah, ah, I won't take no for an
answer. You will be very rich when
I pay for your trouble, trouble I
do need you to cause.
Silenced weapon, and do not shout
it all from the white washed roof,
when you accomplish for me, you
know what to do.
Good, good, I'll be in Spain later
this evening to give your account
what I owe. Thank you. Goodbye.
CUT TO:
NATIONAL BANK:
12:15 PM TODD walks from the desk looking to the MAIN CLOCK.
RACECOURSE:
LETICIA receives a text on her CELL - PHONE.
VAL in the stand gets a signal wave from LETICIA.
VAL holds off some punters walking to the FINISH POST.
FRANK now in the PADDOCK gets a cue from Val to participate.
THE APARTMENTS:
DAJS on the outside breaks a wooden board entering the
APARTMENTS. (Ground floor)
INT. 5A.
DARREN is looking around is old apartment it is totally empty
apart from the SOFA with a sheet over the top, he chuckles...
There is now a knock at the door.
BACK TO:
RACECOURSE:
CLOSE UP:
FRANK runs to the MOBILE ATM machine off to one side.
He uses his debit card pressing the relevant numbers for a
maximum amount possible and receives transacted cash.
CUT TO:
THE APARTMENTS:
ACOM now turns on a FIRE ALARM situated in the TOP CORRIDOR.
In one of the rooms in an apartment the ILLEGAL ENTRANTS stop
conversing in their NATIVE LANGUAGE.
All, then go for the door at the same time on hearing the
ALARM.
CLOSE UP:
ELLIE as she gets to THE APARTMENT BLOCK sees the trapped
ILLEGAL'S banging on the inside of THE MAIN ENTRANCE.
I/E. MAIN ENTRANCE.
ELLIE:
The bloody hell are you saying?!
ACOM is situated on the TOP FLOOR looking into the STREET
below. He can see ELLIE at the MAIN ENTRANCE tearing her
hair out and pacing along the front of the block in question.
DAJS looks to a CIRCUIT BOARD in a LOWER CORRIDOR and breaks
open an ELECTRIC BOX. He tinkers with the inside a while...
CUT TO:
GERAINT looks to the CEILING slightly worried as Darren looks
through the PEEP HOLE on the inside looking out. (5A)
He is taken back on seeing the lone figure in the corridor.
YEARLING'S MANSION:
THE OFFICE.
YEARLING, looking at an LCD SCREEN trying to focus on what is
happening in there at a precise time with a camera over ride.
CLOSE UP:
He notices the ILLEGAL ENTRANTS on the GROUND FLOOR shouting
and banging at the DOOR.
YEARLING:
What the bastard are they 'ooger
boogering at? Oh, oh. Oh.
THE APARTMENTS:
Main entrance.
ELLIE handles a swipe card.
The alarm inside shuts off, this from DAJS.
All ILLEGAL'S now stop and gather breath…
CUT TO:
UPSTAIRS.
ACOM bangs on a hand held device and the ALARM reactivates.
BACK TO:
The ILLEGAL'S Start to wail and bang once more trying to get
OUT. ELLIE uses SWIPE CARD running this through THE LOCK.
Nothing happens…
CUT TO:
RIGG is talking with GERAINT.
RIGG:
That's incomprehensible, how?!
GERAINT:
I'm afraid so, what ever you decide
to transact - how little or
insignificant it is from the mass
amount, this will trigger the whole
total to exit, aligning into a now
arbitrary corporation fund base
from government recovery.
RIGG:
-- Good err that's alright I think
I think because Frank now is
probably a multi millionaire.
BACK TO:
RACECOURSE:
FRANK views his bank slip. And that ATM Reads.
4.170.000.25 CR< DO YOU REQUIRE ANOTHER SERVICE?
FRANK:
You, don - don't err see - see that
every err every day. 25p?!!
FRANK tries to use another service for cash dispensing.
He erratically taps the numbers… >MAXIMUM LIMIT<
FRANK ponders whilst some - one taps him on the shoulder.
FRANK wakes up and pulls a skillet from the inside of his
body warmer jumping in shock.
He gets a disturbed look from PUNTERS waiting in the cue.
CUT TO:
THE APARTMENTS:
5A.
GERAINT is with DARREN. His back is to the OPEN DOOR.
A wet through DAJS rushes up behind GERAINT and puts a gun to
his head holding GERAINT firmly.
GERAINT:
Ah! Ah.
DARREN holds his arm up to the two men and speaks.
RIGG:
Now! Dajs, Dajs - don't do any
thing hasty.
DAJS:
More haste, less speed there you
fuck. You bet on this horse for me
which is... "Companion" and I shall
not kill this man, again.
GERAINT:
Darren please do - do as he says.
DAJS:
Then the winnings will be collected
by myself from your own companions
later. As Yearling is not obliging
enough for me.
RIGG:
Now?
DAJS:
Fucking yes now!
DAJS walks GERAINT into the 5A APARTMENT. DARREN is forced
back walking slowly and ringing FRANK on his CELL PHONE...
RIGG:
Frank! Frank. Change of plan.
I need an adjustment to the horse
you are going to bet on.
MATCH CUT TO:
FRANK:
Why? We're doing well enough.
RIGG:
The object is now the object the
OBJECT is now the object, which
means you bet on this particular
horses name... named as -
'Companion.
FRANK:
Are you sure? Oh, I see, Oh.
The object ah, the object Darren
that's the overall, Darren?
But that's the worst horse in the
line up.
Impractically averaging…
RIGG:
-- Yes, yes I know, I know, just do
what I say... But all the same,
don't. Listen to what I’ve said.
DAJS:
-- Now terminate the fucking call.
CLOSE UP:
RACECOURSE:
FRANK GETS OUT HIS PROGRAM AND LOOKS AT THE NEXT RACE'S
HORSES, THIS READS;
MOTION DETECTOR
UN - FORGIVEN
SHEEP PIG
CHERISHED WITH LOVE
ALL THE SAME
COMPANION
PARDON THE FORCE
ZIP
DAY TO DAY
LANGOUSTINE'S LIP
FRANK runs his finger to 'ALL THE SAME.
FRANK:
Something ain't right.
Shit shit shit and piss. Code,
what's he giving a code for, code.
I don't get it... The bloody hell
am I going to do? Bet on 'All same
or 'Companion which bloody one is
it? The object, mmmm.
The object is a bank... An object.
We now have a bank albeit mobile,
so where's the nearest accumulation
or holding point for cash next?
FRANK looks to the run of TOTE STALLS and slowly walks there.
Where would you have cash?
Bloody stall.
The bloody tote stall. Of course!
Val, where's Val? Something 'gonna
go down and he's no where to be
seen. Typical. Interested in that
because we can't? Or can we
mathematicians. Or can we. Or can
we. I was right.
CUT TO:
NATIONAL BANK:
WHILDSON enters the BANK looking around as soon as he enters.
(He notices customers cueing and a SHEIK)
Casually he walks to SIB who is now standing up shaking -
TODD'S hand.
THE APARTMENTS:
DAJS tells DARREN and GERAINT to seat on the COUCH still
provocatively holding the weapon pointing them both to seat.
DAJS:
Sit down and shut your mouths now,
we have ourselves a Q & A... With
on, how? Really did you get out of
there? The bailiff offices, in
time, lawyer man? This is quite
some ingenious behavior only it has
no license on being chaotic enough.
Tell me. And make it quick.
GERAINT and RIGG seat on the SOFA.
GERAINT:
You did kill someone. --
RIGG:
-- You killed 4a's resident,
'Lentil.
DAJS:
Did I?
(Pause)
RIGG:
Didn't you?
DAJS:
I'm a specialist, thank you, but
all the same...
It was an actual accident.
I only tampered with the select
apparatus in case something didn't
happen that I wanted it too and
moved the recovery process onto the
nasty bailiff's list of items
then as this was in transit, ka -
boom, - you can't say this was the
beginning for me, "All the same,"
because I kill these fuck before as
they are seemingly dead themselves
or through general lack of living
any - way. But I'll stop now and
think of a way just to shoot you,
both.
The sprinklers stop.
RIGG:
Just a second there Dajs you need
us to get to all that cash!
DAJS:
But not him.
(ENTER)
ELLIE:
Hold it!
ELLIE trails a gun on DAJS.
DARREN seats back as far as he can go and the sofa tips up.
GERAINT and RIGG fall backwards.
RACECOURSE:
From behind the STALL a TOTE gets a bang on the head with a
skillet from FRANK, WHOOMP!
Continue the scene;
DAJS:
Stop - this is getting us know
where fast.
RIGG:
Dajs! Now let's go to the races!
ELLIE lowers her gun.
DAJS shoots ELLIE in one of her arms. She drops the gun.
ELLIE:
Shoot them! Not me.
DAJS:
I do like your guile!
ELLIE:
Who's? Ah.
DAJS: (CONT'D)
Stupid bitch, Geraint's of course.
Come out come out where ever you
are.
CUT TO:
RACECOURSE:
FRANK is now handing over BETTING SLIPS doubling as a TOTE...
He notices VAL, locating his position and FRANK waves him
across to where he is standing behind THE CASHIER DESK.
APARTMENTS:
5A.
DAJS walks to the SOFA and in taking out a ZIP LIGHTER
proceeds to set alight an object covering DARREN and GERAINT.
Both underneath get out looking at DAJS holding a gun, still,
on them in his sights.
RIGG:
We go now.
ELLIE looks on amazed.
The sheet now smoulders.
DAJS ushers DARREN and GERAINT to the HALLWAY.
He closes ELLIE in the ROOM.
She falls slightly trying to get free.
CUT TO:
NATIONAL BANK:
SIB is in conversation to WHILDSON.
SIB:
We can already assume only your
boss is formulating some kind of
manoeuvre, a second wave of illegal
discrepancies today at the
racecourse and I have proof of this
in a big time scoop, fundamental in
picturing yo' at a specific time.
So what are you going to do about
it?
WHILDSON:
This is propaganda.
I will not here of this, though,
your offer, if it is, seems
tempting to me, me and me only.
Go on.
SIB:
We cut you in, so you don't have to
go to the big house at the end of
the day. Look, look here have this
address of where we contact you to
attend later. Oh, and by the way?
Just carry yourself as we can't
afford to pay the both of you.
Although I'll try and make
reservations for this as you really
do like to work in two's all the
time, don't you.
SIB hands a letter across. SIB leaves the exit to the BANK.
WHILDSON opens the letter and agog looks on at SIB leaving.
BACK TO:
THE APARTMENTS:
5A.
Now is ablaze.
THE STAIRWELL.
GERAINT:
Darren. How are we going to get
out of this?
DAJS butts on the head of GERAINT who falls down the steps.
DAJS:
Which leaves the quantum
singularity, eh trick.
DARREN stops walking and sits up side the wall.
RIGG:
Ya wanna play? Let's play.
CUT TO:
THE YEARLING MANSION:
YEARLING is watching a SHOW commenting on the RACES start.
BRIEF:
(HE HAS A MAJORITY OF STAKE IN THIS RACE OWNING THE
SECOND FAVORITE TO WHICH A WIN WOULD SEE HIS OVERALL
ACCUMULATION OF ILL - FAMED FORTUNES ESCALATE BUT THE
FAVORITE IS IN NO DOUBT THE BEST HORSE IN THE LINE UP,
OBVIOUSLY. YEARLING PUT TO WORK DAJS FEEDING THE FAVORITE
HORSE A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE WHICH IS READY TO WORK AT THE
RACE'S PIVOTAL AND THE HORSES BIOPHYSICAL LIMIT, BUT HAD HE?)
FRANK needs to work out what horse is the favorite quickly.
GRIDLE appears from a group of PUNTERS.
FRANK notices him approach the STALL.
He ducks underneath the COUNTER.
VAL walks to the TOTE stall also, where FRANK is.
BACK TO:
RIGG: (CONT'D)
You double crossed him didn't you.
DAJS:
Why would I tell you? He double
crossed himself, he is nearly
bankrupt already, but if I have to
explain myself to you again I take
a very enormous risk and walk away
with nothing as so many times
before. You know nothing, pitiful
bastard, get up and stop dribbling
down your bib or I shall feed you
this last nugget of metal into your
fucking skull.
RIGG:
Different question then.
What has 3 sides and a whole lot of
hate? See this question out and we
all die screaming.
DAJS:
Go. We are already in hell. Move.
MATCH CUT TO:
RACECOURSE:
FRANK sits behind the CASHIER DESK looking to a slip
wondering what to do. GRIDLE jumps the cue and bangs on the
desk looking at the prices on THE BOARD.
FRANK puts on a balaclava and stands up.
FRANK:
Now then. What can I do you for?
GRIDLE:
Here, I want all this on...
'All the same. 'All the same!
To win! Quick it's about to start!
Flaming leper.
FRANK takes his money and gives him back a slip, reading the
horses name 'ALL THE SAME @ 4-1...
GRIDLE: (CONT'D)
It was Sevens! You!
This is right?
FRANK goes to the board replacing the '4 to a '7 on the odds.
FRANK:
There! What do you want blood?
GRIDLE:
Ah fuck you.
THE RACE STARTS. 'AND THEY'RE OFF!
GRIDLE nearly throws the slip on the floor but notices the
start of the race.
He quickly bustles some PUNTERS away from the cue.
VAL opens his mouth -
Frank shouts across to VAL -
FRANK:
Did you bet on?!
VAL:
'Cherished with love!
FRANK:
Ha!
VAL:
Frank what the hell did you bet on?
FRANK:
Fucking hell! I didn't - I love
those Irish connections!
As the horses go…
LETICIA approaches the RAIL and the FINISHING POST view.
EYE IN THE SKY -
THE HORSES GO! OFF! OFF! OFF!
All horses are settled into the race.
FRANK whips off his balaclava and covers his eyes as the race
goes. A BIG SCREEN captures the ongoing HANDICAP MILE.
A JOCKEY is seen moving into shot taking an unbridled swerve
across the path of the other moving horses.
THE APARTMENTS:
ACOM walks into the ground floor apartment and goes out of
the broken boarded window.
As he gets out he notices smoke billow from the upstairs on
the inside out -
ACOM:
At least the fire is contained.
THE RACE:
The horse race continues until... the lead horse 'ZIP is
tightly followed by 'COMPANION and then 'ALL THE SAME, the
rest of the field trail by half a length in a pack straight
behind the lead few...
THE CROWD IN THE STANDS CHEER!
'COMPANION'S JOCKEY tightly holds on to the whip and drops
his head --
THE YEARLING MANSION:
YEARLING:
Come on you hand spanic automaton
get that fuckin' fat arse rapidly
moving while the fucking odd beast
gets whizzed of its tits.
Come on! Come on!
I'm counting on you 'Samey!
I'm counting on you!
THE RACE is full on and all is apparent, but…
'ALL THE SAME then shudders, the front two legs buckle
bringing the horse to an overall stop. As its speed and
momentum takes the weight forwards the jockey goes over the
horses head. He nearly crashes on the COURSE GROUND...
The sound of hooves come to an abrupt stop for 'ALL THE SAME.
The horse in an erratic spasm falls over legs everywhere.
Alongside, the falling JOCKEY sprawls over trying to stay on
the beast he is riding. He clambers onto the next horse
which is 'COMPANION. That JOCKEY is sent tumbling as well.
As this happens whilst moving to the floor another oncoming
racer hits the back of 'COMPANION.
-
-
SHOW THE APARTMENTS:
-
In the STAIRWELL ELLIE pushes the back of DAJS, which sends
him tumbling down the stairs, grasping onto DARREN.
DARREN shocked looks on, both fall down to the foot.
RACECOURSE:
As VAL is running to where LETICIA is situated.
He trips over.
THE RACE:
There are only a few horses behind the galloping crash.
They all try to take over but as one falls over all the rest
pile into the back of the flailing legs congesting the course
ahead making the majority collide and tumble.
THE CROWD SHOUT!
They start to booh and yet become enthralled.
Focus the attention of the crowd on the lead horse.
The lead horse is as from the start, 'ZIP.
The last unscathed horse is 'CHERISHED WITH LOVE.
VAL gets up and waves his fist in anticipation shouting.
VAL:
GGGooo - oooonnn! Gah! Gahon!
Shit. I just had a thought, this
is all academic. It's only
circumstantial - shit.
It does immediately suggests that
Frank has indeed played his hand
what ever that is...
I reckon he's called it wrong, shit
Frank, we've called it all wrong!
'ZIP proceeds on its own getting close to the finishing line.
THE TOTE from behind the STALLS ('REG) gets up and walks
around to the front of where he originally was...
FRANK has now vacated.
FADE TO BLACK:
A RESULT
FADE IN:
THE STAND:
LETICIA looks to her slip, which reads; 'ZIP @ 11/4.
LETICIA:
Yes! Yes!! Yes! I've won!
I won it!!
FRANK appears from behind.
FRANK:
No no no you haven't.
See there'll be a stewards enquiry
first, by no way is it cut and dry.
No way. There will be veterinarian
probes and all sorts of mad stuff
going on with the - the - all the
horse's dangely bits yeah, that are
left. The race, the object, has
defaulted, void, which means the
only way you would of won is if. --
LETICIA:
-- Darren transacted the cash to
yours? Your account I mean.
FRANK:
Correct. But that's not all,
that is not all at all.
THE APARTMENTS:
Stairwell, ground - floor.
ELLIE is punching a floored DAJS.
ELLIE:
Come on!! Come on!! Hey come on!!
Come on!! Come on!! Come on!!
Come on!! Come on!! Come on!!
RIGG:
Whoa, whoa! Whoa - there, Ellie!
Ellie!
ELLIE:
You want some as well?!
Who do you work for?
RIGG:
Err you. Don't, no more.
ELLIE:
That's right! You work for me!
RIGG:
He's unconscious.
RACECOURSE:
PA:
And the first horse - past the finish line! Is - 'Zip!
From leading the field, from the start to the very somewhat
bitter end. - Only, we, have just been given an announcement
from the race officials, in, their, renowned very time
honoured tradition...
Next there will be, a stewards inquiry which means all first
place bets and slips will be dealt with in a short while
until the panel makes judgement on or if the race "The
handicap mile sprint" has been made, official, or void, as to
what complications, in this race, has just occurred.
LETICIA:
Shit.
FRANK:
Look, I was up all last night
reading through the rule book.
I'm gonna' win big - after, I
have already won big.
APARTMENTS:
DARREN is seen trying to get out of the boarded up window
with a problem leg. He tips up on the way out with ACOM by
their side helping out GERAINT secondly, then ELLIE last.
RACECOURSE:
VAL, FRANK And LETICIA are in the BAR looking at one of the
RESULT SCREENS.
THE CAPTION; 'THE "HANDICAP MILE SPRINT" READS AS ----
'STEWARDS INQUIRY
FRANK: (CONT'D)
To - day! I bet the call was for a
bleeder. Damn it, a bleeder.
Val looks quizzed.
FRANK: (CONT'D)
Deary me, no class. Well class,
sit down and make yourselves
comfortable... the term 'bleeder,
means when the horse ushered off
into the posh doctor medical
facility when all has gone wrong,
biophysically, means, they then
stick a large thermometer up the
crack of its arse and wait for the
back legs to kick out. And if shit
doesn't, that means...
Can you guess?
CUT TO:
INT. THE VAN.
The VAN backing up and DARREN falling into the OPEN DOOR,
quickly held up by ELLIE laying him flat in the VAN BACK.
CLOSE UP:
INT. YEARLING'S BEDROOM.
YEARLING:
Shorts, where are my damn shorts?
Got to get out of here the walls
are closing in on me.
Damn asylum seekers keep ringing
the telephone, can't get hold of
Gridle or Whildson, the race
venture has stopped indefinitely
thanks to that fucking Dajs,
hit man! Hit men! I ask ya', and
if I can't find my shorts I'm
gonna' puke whilst I go ski - ing,
instead, yes, ski - ing, that
sounds wonderful.
Be still, Marcus be still, Paolo is
safe and sound with Miguel, so I am
happy for him but now I'm looking
out for number one.
CUT TO:
The FIRE BRIGADE make the APARTMENT BLOCK…
ACOM in his VAN speeds past the APARTMENT BUILDING.
GERAINT falls where DARREN is laying down clutching his leg.
Up front -
ACOM:
Where we going?!
GERAINT:
Might I make a suggestion?!
ELLIE:
Your, address?
GERAINT:
Exactly. We have to put into
writing and formulate any kind of
notification to the authorities,
that in hind - site suggests, we
are not apart of this awful ordeal.
RIGG:
And! Make any reservations that
the money we have took onboard is
actually our own with shutting down
the race today, because of it being
linked with the Arabians, I, mean,
they're gonna' come looking for it,
aren't they, aren't they?
GERAINT:
As, you haven't left me in there to
rot, I'll scratch your back if you
can scratch mine, again...
ELLIE:
With? What?
GERAINT:
Who the hell helped me out of the
bailiffs office, when it exploded
then?
Darren looks blankly.
BACK TO:
RACECOURSE:
The result comes in over the screen.
#VOID - RACE.
FRANK:
There you go ya' see, VOID.
Shall we go we have a job to do.
VAL:
We're gonna be late for…
LETICIA:
Story of his life.
VAL:
How is it void? There were two
horses, in a race, they race, it is
called a race.
FRANK:
I love you man.
THE HOSPITAL:
CARL is in the mortuary speaking with a pathologist.
CARL:
We aren't expecting any one in the
foreseeable future but what would
one like to receive in a positively
immense hustle the likes of this
country has never seen before, as a
hyperbole? A fucking word…
The pathologist scratches his head.
Look you ignorant turkey! If I give
you this, £160 pounds you keep your
lips shut and say this was foul
play. Are we all right with that?
The pathologist grasps this money.
FADE TO BLACK:
THE ACCIDENT
CUT TO:
ONE DAY LATER.
GEL. BUILDING:
WHILDSON is seated in a car outside at an *ADDRESS.
CUT TO:
An exclusive PRIVATE AEROPLANE JET flying in the sky…
GRIDLE is at the COCKPIT:
YEARLING aboard is sipping wine.
THE HOSPITAL:
RIGG hobbles on crutches down a quiet part of a corridor.
RIGG:
We need a clue though on who let
Geraint out of the office on time.
ELLIE is walking by his side with a tunicae on.
ELLIE:
It does only leave, one person.
Miguel.
Miguel?
But why him?
What did you say you were going to
do?…
RIGG:
Me? Nothing. Set up a deal.
Dajs, when he got
arrested assaulting a fire man… had said.
Yearling was moving, so know I know why.
The races were his income, now there not.
Hold that thought.
So Yearling got away.
MATCH CUT TO:
Show the aeroplane smoke from its engine over the sea...
YEARLING inside pulls a morose face.
View this AEROPLANE dip turning downwards.
THE HOSPITAL:
Frank waltzes up to the pair.
FRANK:
I however, accumulated on a basic
accumulator. That's how I won,
see the bet was for the day's racing,
put money on the days, racing!
Race - ing.
Void, was the spot where we bypassed.
I just fly on through when
the cheating gets captured. Bitch wife.
(Pause)
What the fuck is a parallax any
way? Eh? Darren?! Oh shit I
transferred 300 pounds only.
What a day, it’s all I could move…
(Scratching head)
Was that right?! Did we go wrong?
CARL:
Quiet we're in a hospital!!
FRANK:
Plus.
I used my influence behind the stall
to tweek a few things.
How much will you get Darren?
RIGG:
Well Colin, that all depends.
That all depends...
WHILDSON acquired the ADDRESS of a meeting of transparent
funds to which he thinks he is about to receive. On entering
the GEL BUILDING he notices the vast office space is empty
apart from a desk with sib seated and a large rope he is
holding from the ceiling. ACOM is at the TOP of the building
with a high tech pulley system. WHILDSON walks in.
CUT TO:
GEL BUILDING.
WHILDSON:
But, but this cannot be… Huh?
SIB BECKONS WHILDSON ACROSS AND STANDS UP HOLDING A ROPE.
SIB:
Over here. That's it.
WHILDSON goes for a gun from his holster.
Quickly SIB points to a camera to the corner of the room.
(CCTV)
WHILDSON is intrigued continuing, walking closer.
He puts his gun away.
SIB gets a BRIEFCASE from underneath THE DESK…
As WHILDSON is upon SIB, SIB quietly asks him one thing.
SIB:
Hold that please.
SIB passes the rope to WHILDSON -
And as that…
WHILDSON holding the rope, flies to the top of the ceiling -
CRASH! His head goes through the ceiling.
ACOM in the top of the building looks from the window.
GASSY on the street down below looks up, STARTLED!
A LARGE SOFA falls down from a great height, where GASSY -
Looks up.
VAL photographs the final shot from afar.
Val:
Pianos are so Pasay. And that's a parallax! But is it?
THE END...
ACCIDENT PRONE 2 COMES SOON
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