The Marvellus Thief
A Screenplay by Matthew Liddell

FADE IN:
EXT. THE COUNTRY OF MARVELLO - LATE EVENING
It is Autumn in a country that looks reminiscent of central Europe.  People hustle about the streets carrying groceries.  A man uses a jack to raise his car to change a flat.  As we see each of these establishing shots we notice that everything is somewhat peculiar, nothing looks quite familiar.  Makes and models of cars are strange, traffic signals are unfamiliar.
EXT. THE MARVELLAN NATIONAL MUSEUM -- CONTINUOUS
We see people leaving as the museum closes for the night.
INT. THE MARVELLAN NATIONAL MUSEUM -- CONTINUOUS
We pan through the halls of the Marvellan National Museum, catching glimpses of various exhibits along the way.  The museum appears to be closing.  We see there are more security guards than patrons.  A guard approaches a couple of old women who are passing from display to display and politely asks them to leave.  He speaks a language we do not understand.  The women look between each other and shuffle off.
We pan farther into the museum and eventually come to a massive cluster of desks strewn haphazardly around a large display room.  Atop each of the desks is a cheap portable television.  In the very center of the cluster is a display case.  A boy and his father peer down to examine the contents of the display case.
FATHER
(speaking Marvellan, we read the subtitles)
Quite beautiful isn't it?
The boy starts to extend his hand to the display.  Inside the protective glass we see what looks like a long fragmented diamond that vaguely resembles the shape of a woman dancing.
A placard is placed under the display, it is written in Marvellan, a subtitle translates: "The Marvellan Diamond Dancer"
The young boy continues to extend his hand.
GUARD
(speaking Marvellan, subtitled)
No, please.  You are not allowed to touch.  Please move along, the museum will be closing soon.
We cut to a wider shot of the father and son.  We see they are being watched by perhaps four or five security guards, all either standing and leering over them or sitting at their desks.
As the two pass we see one of the televisions is playing a news report.  It is in Marvellan and we can't understand it, but the graphic beside the newscaster illustrates dollar signs and exclamation points.
GUARD (CONT'D)
(subtitled Marvellan)
Time to lock up, eh?
GUARD #2
(subtitled Marvellan)
Yes, it has been a busy day.
We see a wider shot of the room, there are several guards who are preparing to leave, many of them are turning off their little television sets as they go.  We read subtitles as they converse.
GUARD
Who is on watch tonight?
GUARD #2
I think it is uh...Waxman, is that right?
NIGHT WATCHMAN
(waking up)
Yes, I will protect our beloved treasures tonight!
GUARD #2
Well, make sure you are more alert than you are now.
NIGHT WATCHMAN
Of course I will be.  Why is everyone constantly underestimating me?  When it is time for me to watch my post I poise myself like the mighty panther - Prepared to strike!
GUARD
Aye, Waxman.  Have a good night.
We see the Night Watchman sit down by the Diamond Dancer, raise a television remote control and begin watching television.
As he sits and lolls out to the program we see one of the distinctive things about Marvello.  The country possesses a culture that is consistently unfamiliar.  We see a snippet of a game show where the contestants yell at a monkey.  We see a televised political debate where both of the debaters wear absurdly large and out of style hair-do's.
As the Night Watchman flips between stations we see a TV magically pop on from the corner.
The Watchman, confused, turns and looks at it.  Grudgingly he gets up out of his chair, wanders over to the television and turns it off.
He returns to his chair, sits down and tries to continue enjoying his program.
Again, another television pops on.
Annoyed, the Watchman gets up, shuffles his way through the desks and turns the TV off.  He sits back down, only to find  that another TV has popped on just as he is about to sit down.
Very annoyed, he gets up again and then goes and turns it off.  No sooner has he turned it off than another TV turns on.
Now the Watchman stops, looks around.  We see a look on his that says perhaps ghosts are turning on the televisions.  The Watchman looks around and we see just how gothic the room is.  He looks to the left, we see a portrait of one of Marvello's founding fathers.  A pair of creepy eyes stare down at our Watchman.
The guard goes and turns off the monitor but as soon as he does, another TV pops on right next to it.  The guard runs to try and turn it off, but then another pops on, and then another, and another, he can't turn them off fast enough as he runs around.
We cut to a tight shot of a gloved hand holding a remote control.
Then back to the guard frantically trying to turn off the televisions.  He can't keep up with them they're turning on and off so fast.
We see him stop, dart his eyes around and subtitles start to accompany the bizarre programs.
TV #1
Local authorities are baffled by the...
The guard looks at another tv:
TV #2
...string of supposedly unstoppable crimes...
The guard looks at another TV, a black and white horror movie where a woman screams into the camera.
TV #3
STOP!  PLEASE PLEASE STOP!
Another TV...The same political debate we saw earlier...
TV #4
...this is a disease which is ravaging our land!...
TV #3
STOP!  STOP!  AHHH!
TV #5
...and to recap, police have no leads....
The guard looks at a TV that is behind the case which FORMERLY contained the Diamond Dancer.  We see another TV illuminated through the empty case.
TV #6
...in the case of the Marvellus Thief.
The Night Watchman emits a horrified shriek.
CUT TO:
EXT. A MODERN CITY STREET -- MORNING
We open up on a city street in a country that looks American-ish.  We see a newer model black car winding its way down a suburban avenue.  As the camera pans down we see the car is beside a string of banks.  The names of the banks are all generic: EasyBank, MericaBank, Bank10, etc...
A man in his early thirties with dark hair and a very serious expression on his face drives the car along.  He is staring intently at each of the banks, we see him stop his car at the last bank, next to a fast food restaurant called 'Cap'n Fishey's!'  The man, who we will come to know as Jason Smith, gets out and makes his way into the BankyBank.
INT. BANKYBANK -- MOMENTS LATER
Jason enters, looks around and sees the bank is relatively quite.  A brief smile crosses his face, he approaches a teller and shoves his way past a woman who was waiting patiently in line.
WOMAN
(sarcastically)
Excuse me, sir!
JASON
(to woman)
Sorry, this won't take a minute.
(to teller)
I just need, really quickly, ummm...I'm a bank robber, and I want you to give me a lot of money right now.
TELLER
Excuse me?
JASON
I'm a bank robber.  Okay, got it?
TELLER
Yeah.
JASON
And I want you to get me some money, now, I can wait but I don't have long, I'm very busy.
TELLER
Do you have a gun?
JASON
(plucks a business card from the counter in a detached fashion)
No.
TELLER
Than how can you rob the bank?
JASON
(frustrated)
Listen, I don't have to have a gun to rob the bank.  Here look..
(Jason reaches around the counter, grabs an employee manual and opens it in front of her.)
Okay, here, here, look.  Employees of Banky McBankBank shall not give any resistance to robbers...that's me...you see, and then it goes on to say...um, all you're really supposed to do is give me the money and...it says make sure to get a look at me so you can give an accurate description to the police.
(he turns his head to one side and then to the other, letting the teller get a good look at him.)
I have a mole right here,
(he points at his face)
That might be helpful to tell the police.
EXT. BANKYBANK -- MOMENTS LATER
Jason, having successfully robbed the bank, walks out the front door with a small sack and starts to get in his car.  A security guard attempts to stop him.
SECURITY GUARD
Hey, sir!  Hey, sir!  Stop!
JASON
Why?
SECURITY GUARD
Just stop!
JASON
You can't shoot me unless I'm threatening you or someone else.  And aside from commenting on your pitiful skin condition I don't plan to hurt you.
Jason gets in his car, shuts the door and sits there.  The Security Guard, flustered, knocks on the window.  Slowly, Jason rolls it down.
JASON (CONT'D)
How can I help you?
SECURITY GUARD
Get out of your car...and um, get...
JASON
Get out of my car?  Why?
SECURITY GUARD
You're going to jail, scumhole!
JASON
Come on pal.  We all know you don't make enough money to care whether or not I rob this bank.  Why don't you just go sit down and wait for the big boys to get here...
On cue, down the street we see two police cars approaching the bank.
JASON (CONT'D)
Finally.  Now if you'll excuse me.
SECURITY GUARD
What?  Hey, you're...
Jason grabs the Security Guard's gun from his holster and gives him a hard shove in the stomach.  Jason starts the engine and speeds out of the parking lot, gun in hand.
A gonzo comedic car chase follows.  Jason speeds out of the parking lot and fires a round into one of the police car's tires.
The police car with the busted tire swerves, collides with the other car and they are both halted as they crash into a parked car in the parking lot.
Jason, seemingly unamused at how easy the police were to foil, rolls his eyes and calmly guides his car into traffic.
We see the other police car, the one without the flat, pulling onto the road to chase Jason.
Jason leads the car on a chase through the steady early-morning traffic.  As he speeds along we see him set down the gun, reach into a paper sack and begin munching on a donut.  He looks into the rear view mirror and sees that two more police cars are joining the chase.
JASON
(musing)
C'mon, I know you guys don't like to get up this early...but I am a maniac bank robber.
Jason takes a bite out of his donut as a look of sheer disgust crosses his face.  We pull back, we see a disgusting glob of jelly leak out of his donut.
JASON (CONT'D)
(irritated)
Ugh!
Jason looks around, he spots a Mr. Donut's House.  He eyes the two police cars in the rear view mirror.  He drives his car into a flood of traffic in an intersection and spins the car around.  The police chasing him fly past him.  He recovers from his spin and we see him nimbly speed through an intersection.  He pulls into the Mr. Donut's House drive-thru wrong end first.
Jason leans over the passenger seat and tries to get the clerk's attention.
Back on the street, the police are regrouping, they spot Jason and come after him.
JASON (CONT'D)
(to clerk)
Yeah, um, I ordered butternut and I got gelatin.
CLERK
Oh, I'm sorry sir.  Let me get you another one.
JASON
Thanks.
Jason looks around, we see the police are speeding towards him.
CLERK
(handing him another sack)
I put a coupon in there for a free one next time.  You know you're in the drive-thru the wrong way.
JASON
Yeah, thank you.  Now get away from the window.
We see a confused look cover the girl's face.  Jason stomps the accelerator and speeds backwards as a police car SPEEDS TOWARDS US.
INT. MR. DONUT'S HOUSE -- CONTINUOUS
The girl jumps back, the little donut kiosk is wrecked by the police car.
EXT. A MODERN CITY STREET -- CONTINUOUS
Another police car speeds toward Jason.  Jason, still driving in reverse speeds backward through the parking lot.  The cop, nose to nose with him glares at him.
Jason puts the donut in his mouth, rolls the window down, grabs the gun with his other hand and fires into the hood of the police car over and over again.  The front hood of the car erupts in flames, still the chase continues.
Jason looks in the rearview, the other police car is coming up behind him.
Jason yanks the wheel around, swerving out of the way.  The two police cars collide head on with each other.  We see all of the policemen involved in the crash get out of the cars and scramble away.  They stand around their cars, both of which are now on fire.
As we watch the explosion reflected in Jason's windshield we notice he seems to take little interest.  Instead, he looks down and chews on his donut.
JASON
(looking at watch)
Man, always late when I stop for donuts.
EXT. FEDERAL INVESTIGATIONS OFFICE -- MORNING
Jason pulls his car into the parking lot of a government office and sits quietly for a moment.  He turns and finds a small box in the back seat of his car, he takes it and puts the gun and the money inside it.  He gets out of the car and heads inside.
INT. FEDERAL INVESTIGATIONS OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
Jason walks through the halls, nodding politely to everyone he passes.  He nears his office and says hello to his secretary.
JASON
Dawn, is it possible I could get some coffee?
Without waiting for a reply, he heads into his office.
INT. JASON'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
Jason starts to sit at his desk, Dawn, his secretary, bursts in.
DAWN
They've been calling persistently for the last hour!
JASON
Really, you'd think they'd know by now that I seldom come in on time.
DAWN
If you don't get in there right away...
Jason tapes up the little box, looks up at her.
DAWN (CONT'D)
They sounded really mad.  They kept asking me, 'Where is he?'  And I was just...what could I tell them?...I didn't know.  I didn't know where you were and they said...'Well you better get him in here, right away.' What could I do?
Jason looks at the business card he took from the counter and starts to write something on the box.
DAWN (CONT'D)
Are you going to...?
JASON
Oh, Dawn, calm down.  There's enough work in this world to put the noblest man in his grave.  We musn't go rushing into it.
He finishes preparing the box, stands and hands it to Dawn.
JASON (CONT'D)
Could you mail this for me please?
Dawn looks at the box, it is addressed to the bank he just robbed.
JASON (CONT'D)
I had some banking I needed to take care of.
INT. MEETING ROOM -- LATER
Jason walks into a dimly lit room with several men sitting around a table.  Slide projectors are on at various places in the room shooting graphic displays of various things all over the place.  Slideshow images hit all the walls in the darkened room, most of them are crooked.  The meeting room has the feeling of a really seedy but really boring looking bar.
Four or five executive level directors are seated about, they are men in their fifties. 
CHIVERS
Mr. Smith, so glad you could join us.  Are you just getting in for the morning?
JASON
I've been here hours already.
AYCOX
So you just kept us waiting all this time...to be rude?
JASON
No.  Why would I do that?
FIELDERS
Then where have you been?
JASON
I was deeply immersed in company business.  I could go into detail, but I'm afraid I'd waste even more of your valuable time.
CHIVERS
It's been quite awhile since I saw a case closed with the name Jason Smith at the top of it.
JASON
Well, the big ones always take longer than usual to close.
CHIVERS
Yes Smith, excellent excuses.  And let's just save ourselves all the embarrassment where we ask you specifically what you're working on and you give us some vague and unsatisfying answer.  What do you say we just get straight down to business and fire you.
JASON
Sure.
CHIVERS
I could fire you right now, you know, and not without a little bit of personal pleasure.  The only reason I don't of course is because I'd much rather see you in prison than in the unemployment line.
JASON
You can come see wherever you like Mr. Chivers, you know that. 
AYCOX
Mr. Smith...There's no doubt among any of us here that you are a skilled agent, perhaps even a brilliant criminologist.  Your two books about the criminal nature are bestsellers...Your guest appearances on the reality television show, 'Who Wants to Marry a Serial Killer?'  Are also particularly entertaining.
JASON
Thank you.
AYCOX
But what concerns my colleagues and I is the fact that you are someone who studies the criminal element so closely we don't wonder if you've become a criminal yourself.
MATTHEWS
Just taking a look at your recent romantic encounters...
Matthews hits a button on his remote control and the various random images being projected around the room turn to pictures of trashy looking women.  Most of the women's eyes in the photographs seem to be looking down at Jason sitting in the chair. 
MATTHEWS (CONT'D)
(pointing)
Trini 'Left Thumb' Gillespie, known forgery artist and smuggler.  Becca Berryman...Convicted arsonist, art thief, difficult to convict because she senselessly burned many paintings she stole...Mandy Moskowitz...recently arrested for impersonating a farm animal. 
JASON
That was a mistake sir, she didn't know that the priest wasn't dead.
FIELDERS
Mr. Smith I'm sure what you do with loose women and farm animals and comatose clergyman makes for entertaining reading but make no mistake you are committing crimes that embarrass this institution and tighten a noose around your neck.  Rest assured, when we have iron proof of your criminal misconduct you and everyone associated with you will be brought to justice.
JASON
I expect nothing less.
CHIVERS
But until that time there is another matter...A matter of your current employment...We are of course loathe to give you any high profile cases-- 
FIELDERS
Let none of us forget the, the...
AYCOX
Of course...perfect example...The most valuable diamond in the world goes missing and you wind up with a number one bestseller and a two week vacation with actress-slash-porn-star-slash-singer Cherry Mackenzie.
FIELDERS
I was actually talking about the--
CHIVERS
The time you went undercover in the Mustaff Sharina's personal harem as an underwear salesman only to return to work with enough hickeys to qualify for medical disability.
FIELDERS
Actually, the one I was talking about was-- 
AYCOX
Enough...!  Fifty-seven percent of the bureau devotes forty-three percent of total bureau resources to trying to discover proof of your criminal practices.
FIELDERS
This will not stand.  So, in our efforts to scale back the amount of resources we spend on you we need to put you somewhere, somewhere where we can have time to sort all of this out.
JASON
Back to the harem then.  Brilliant idea, sir
FIELDERS
Mr. Smith, we are sending you to a small Non-allied Eastern country called Marvello, have you heard of it?
JASON
(repeating)
Marvel....
Matthews hits a button on a remote control.
The slide projectors click and clack through a series of slides.  We see a European-esque map as well as several illustrations of Marvellus city life.
MATTHEWS
There, Marvello, one of the five smallest countries on the continent.  They have problems and they've requested help from this office, we respond by sending you.  So you can understand they're level of importance.
JASON
What am I to do there?
CHIVERS
Apparently they have problems with a cat burglar, something or other...I'm not exactly sure.  Your plane leaves in a half hour.
AYCOX
That was a half hour ago.
CHIVERS
Oh, correction, your plane leaves now.
JASON
Just let me say one thing...
CHIVERS
You already did, sir.  Now goodbye.
Two thugs approach Jason and manhandle him.  They pick him up from his chair and practically throw him out.
EXT. BUREAU AIRFIELD -- DAY
Jason is standing around waiting for a plane.  The two thugs from before are with him.  There doesn't seem to be a lot of activity on the airfield.
JASON
You know I don't even know if this is the right airport.  There's another one on the other side of town with a strip club nearby, do you think they meant that one?
Jason starts to leave only to be grabbed by one of the bureau thugs.  In the distance a plane starts to land, it looks swanky.
JASON (CONT'D)
Alright fellas...Thanks for talking me into waiting...I guess I'll see ya later.
The plan lands.  Jason starts to get aboard.  He notices that it's filled to the brim with boxes.
INT. BUREAU JET -- MOMENTS LATER
JASON
(to pilot)
Where am I supposed to sit?
PILOT
On top of the orangutan, you ain't the only stop I gotta make.
JASON
Great.
(sits down, to himself)
Just think.  Right now I could be spending the money I stole from a bank on a woman who pretends to be a sheep...
(he looks around)
Just great.
The tiny jet takes off.
EXT. A MARVELLAN AIRFIELD -- DAY
We open up on a decrepit looking airfield in Marvello.  There doesn't seem to be a lot of room for airplanes, most of the airfield is busy with balloon traffic.  Hot air balloons seem to be parked about willy-nilly as well as a few impressive looking zeppelins parked around.  The dirigibles all seem to have military personnel standing around them, indicating they belong to the local army.  We see a blonde woman in her late twenties walking about, pacing nervously.  Behind her a graying man in his seventies lopes along near her.
The woman, Danka Van Danka, approaches a greasy young man in a military uniform by one of the zeppelins.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(speaking Marvellan, subtitled)
Corporal, you can't leave that thing parked here, we have an important visitor coming.
The Corporal appears to all but ignore her.  He continues working on the Zeppelin.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(Marvellan, subtitled)
Corporal, are you deaf?  You have to move that contraption.
The older man, Baba Villonsky, approaches the Corporal.  They both converse in subtitled Marvellan. 
BABA VILLONSKY
Corporal, who's your Commanding Sergeant?
CORPORAL
Command Sergeant Minderhurst!
BABA VILLONSKY
Do you think the command sergeant would find it appropriate that you failed to read this morning's flight plan?  Neglecting to notice that there is an inbound passenger jet.  Do you think he will take kindly to the fact that the jet will most likely collide with your dirigible.  If I were you young corporal, I would hope that when that plane does come along it kills me.  Because if it doesn't Commanding Sergeant Minderhurst will.
CORPORAL
(salutes)
I will move it at once sir!
BABA VILLONSKY
See that you do.
Baba turns and walks back to the edge of the landing strip with Danka.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(speaking English)
I'm glad you handled that...If I had known there was an official flight plan I would have brought a copy of it and shown it to him.
BABA VILLONSKY
No, I doubt this plane landing is on any kind of official flight plan.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Why do you say that...?
BABA VILLONSKY
Because this airfield was condemned by national standards years ago.  But it's the only one we have...so I suppose it will have to do.
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's not safe for the plane to land here?
BABA VILLONSKY
Oh, it's most likely safe.  It's just not authorized.  When you're poor you often find what you have to do what's safe don't agree with each other.
Baba takes out a strange looking squarish cigarette and puts it into his mouth.  As he lights it both he and Danka hear something far away.  They both look to the sky and we see the little jet make a landing.
Once the plane comes to a halt, Jason emerges bearing something in his arms.
JASON
(stepping out)
Hello...Do you speak English?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes, of course...Marvello is a bilingual country.  I would like to welcome you...Mr.  Smith, My name is Inspectress Van Danka, this is my superior, Inspector Deputy Commissioner Villonsky.
Jason extends a gift, it is a withered fruit basket.
JASON
I thought it would be rude to come without bringing something.  So I stole this.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(taking it)
How kind...
JASON
I also have an orangutan too...It might be dead but if it's not you can have it.
DANKA VAN DANKA
They'll be time for that later.  If you come with me we can explain all about our proposal at Main Central Headquarters.
JASON
But...As far as I know...you have problems...some sort of thief...
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes, sir, discretion is a must in these matters.  Now, if you will follow me.
JASON
Something like this isn't exactly our office's business.  I don't know what exactly you think I can uncover that your detectives can't...I really don't think I can help you.
Jason and Danka hold a tense moment between each other.  We see Danka give Villonsky a nervous glance.
BABA VILLONSKY
Mr. Smith, there is an old Marvellan proverb that goes like..."The man who digests failure spends a long time looking at his droppings." Do you understand what that means?
JASON
No.
Jason turns and looks behind him, coming in just behind the plane is a mini-zeppelin with four military personnel riding a tandem bicycle underneath it, propelling it along.  The zeppelin makes a rough landing and taxies along behind Jason's jet, coming dangerously close to collision before skidding to a stop.
ZEPPELIN CAPTAIN
(in Marvellan)
Hey!  Who landed this plane here?!
JASON
But, I think there's a lot of things about your fair country I won't understand.
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- DAY
We see an establishing shot of Marvello.  All of the cars look unfamiliar to us, the buildings seem to have an unfamiliar style of architecture.  Everything looks just a little kooky.
Most of the older buildings we pass almost have the appearance that they were carved out of wood.  The entire city looks fragile, like an old lady's favorite tea set. 
We pan farther in and see there is some sort of party taking place.  Is it a party?  Maybe at first glance.  The Marvellan City Square and the surrounding streets seem to be crammed with people, mostly young.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
DANKA VAN DANKA
(surveying the scene)
Not again, they just had one last week.
She looks at Baba, and then to Jason.  Danka turns her eyes back to the road and surveys a protest taking place in the streets.  We get the feeling that she is more embarrassed for Jason to see this than anything else.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(to Jason)
The people here, they have these, they call them street-closing parties.  They're all in good fun...they just...they disrupt...
BABA VILLONSKY
They are weak-minded fools being told they have become revolutionaries.  Their leaders are criminals...and will be dealt with as such.
EXT. THE PROTEST PLATFORM -- DAY
There is a stage in the center of the square.  Standing behind a podium and yelling into a bullhorn is Kopie Little, a young man with an afro and a bizarre shirt that we might assume is the Marvellan flag cut into pieces.
Kopie Little yells into the bullhorn, speaking Marvellan.  We catch bits of his rant as we pass.
KOPIE LITTLE
(subtitled, Marvellan)
...asking soldiers to go off and fly and die on arcane flying deathtraps.  Soldiers, our brothers, injured while serving this inept government and their reward is starvation and poverty.  Soldiers who... 
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka starts to reach for a CB mounted under her dashboard.
DANKA VAN DANKA
We may have to call for some help.
BABA VILLONSKY
No.  No help.  We need no help.  Just drive through.
DANKA VAN DANKA
But...
BABA VILLONSKY
Drive!
Sheepishly, Danka begins to drive forward.  We see the protesters are not about to move for her, and even laugh at the idea that she wants to pass.
BABA VILLONSKY (CONT'D)
Enough of this!
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- CONTINUOUS
Baba gets out of the car and slams the door, infuriated that he is not being allowed to go to his place of business.  He approaches the first person he sees and begins haranguing them in untranslated Marvellan.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
JASON
(to Danka, earnestly)
Are they allowed to do this?  Does your country allow this kind of thing?
DANKA VAN DANKA
We're in...almost...'a transition' you might say...  
Danka grips the wheel tensely.  We see her watching Baba take out his badge and show it to the group of young people who laugh at him.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
Our country has problems, Mr. Smith.  There's going to be a big change of power soon...That's maybe all I can say.
Baba returns to the car, goes to Danka's door and opens it.
BABA VILLONSKY
Get out!
DANKA VAN DANKA
Baba, no.
BABA VILLONSKY
Get out!
Reluctantly, Danka steps out of the car.  Baba gets in.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Baba mutters a string of swear words in his native tongue.  He slams down the horn of Danka's little car and begins to plow through the protesters at a slow and steady pace.
EXT. THE PROTEST PLATFORM -- CONTINUOUS
Kopie little continues his rant.
KOPIE LITTLE
(subtitled Marvellan)
Fight an unnatural system the natural way!  Join the sensual revolution!
(begins to unbutton shirt, the crowd cheers)
Make love in the streets to show that decrepit old man that...
Kopie sees Baba plowing through his crowd.
KOPIE LITTLE (CONT'D)
There!  There is the problem!  Fight the establishment!
The crowd is enraged, they throw bottles and curse words.  Danka hurries along after the car.
INT. MAIN CENTRAL HEADQUARTERS -- DAY
Our group enters an office building on the either side of the square.  They walk through the 'Main Central Headquarters' of Marvello, the country's center of bureaucracy and government.  As they walk past various offices we see names like: 'Third Regional Edict Association','Primary Officiating Office','Tertiary Officiating Lounge' etc...
Here and there, as in most homes in Marvello, we see framed portraits of The Beloved King hung in prominent places. 
Just ahead of them they notice a door marked 'Regional Provincial Adjunctcy'.  A nebbish woman with dark hair and a conservative sweater opens the door.  Her arms are filled with papers and she seems to have a rough time lugging her load about.
Baba nods in a friendly gesture.
BABA VILLONSKY
Kafka...
The woman, Kafka Savage, spins about as if startled, dropping papers.
KAFKA
(scrambling to pick up her papers, doing a million things at once)
Oh, hello Mr. Villonsky.
Jason looks back at the woman, is something strange about her?
DANKA VAN DANKA
That woman's incompetent.  If things were administered properly around here she wouldn't have a job.
BABA VILLONSKY
Nobody in Main Central would....
Danka eyes him, slightly irritated with his candor. 
INT. MEETING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
The group of them enter a bland looking meeting room.  They are in the Marvellan Criminal Judiciary now, the justice center of the country.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Please, gentlemen, have a seat, I will tell the others that we've arrived.
Danka leaves the room and Jason and Baba have a seat.
BABA VILLONSKY
What do you think of Marvello so far?
JASON
It's charming...reminds me of an oil painting my grandmother used to have.
BABA VILLONSKY
Oil painting?  Perhaps.  It's greasy, certainly...With Our Beloved King nearing death...
(Baba motions to a picture of The Beloved King which hangs in the office)
A big power shift is about to come...No telling who will end up on top...The government or the gangsters.  I hope you're a keen observer Mr. Smith...Marvello is a country with a lot of cracks to squirrel away corruption.
JASON
Do you find a lot of squirrels in your cracks?
Baba isn't sure he understood that right, he looks at Jason strangely.  Danka returns with two men in their fifties, Ark Struthers and Luka Collings
DANKA VAN DANKA
Mr. Smith, may I introduce to you, Ark Struthers, assistant special deputy of special operations...
Ark leans forward to shake Jason's hand.
ARK STRUTHERS
Pleasing to meet you...
DANKA VAN DANKA
And also the head of Marvellan internal security analysis, Luka Collings.
LUKA COLLINGS
(shaking hands)
Sir...
As the two men sit down they take out little name plates for themselves, advertising their name and their occupation written in both Marvellan and English.  Danka sits and does the same, primly setting her nameplate in front of her.  Baba, somewhat grudgingly, takes his name plate out of his trench coat pocket and plops it down on the desk.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Gentlemen, if you'll allow me to mediate this discussion I...
Danka stops, realizing that Jason doesn't have a nameplate.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
Oh dear, Mr. Smith, you don't have a name plate.
JASON
It's not important, I don't think.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Well...If that's how you...
Danka starts to turn and flip on a slide projector.  The lack of a nameplate seems to bother her too much though, she turns and looks at Jason.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
Are you sure, because, you see, we could get you one, they're made in under an hour, right here in the office.
JASON
I really don't think I need one.
LUKA COLLINGS
She has a point though, someone might want to say something to him, and if we...he doesn't have a...We can't see his name.  The whole thing could turn out very embarrassing and we would appear rude.
DANKA VAN DANKA
That does it.
Danka sits down, takes a piece of paper and a marker and begins fashioning a makeshift name plate for Jason.
JASON
I don't know if this is really necessary.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Well, now it's done.
Danka folds the paper into a little triangle.  She sets it in front of Jason, She has written his name but the use of Marvellan letters look odd and incomprehensible.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
Now, if we may continue.
Danka kills the lights, bathing all of them in darkness.  She loads up a Power-Point presentation with all of the Microsoft functions translated into bizarre Marvellan script.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
A substantial percentage of our national economy is being lost.  Priceless art treasures, national historical documents, things as small as personal jewelry, watches, musical instruments.  All of these are being stolen.
JASON
By whom?
Abruptly, a door flies open.  Kafka Savage, whom we saw earlier, stumbles in.
KAFKA
Sorry I'm late.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Secretarial Adjunct Savage.  I wasn't aware you were expected at all.
KAFKA
(sheepishly)
I was told to come to all the meetings when Financial Sheriff Raskalnikov is unavailable.
LUKA COLLINGS
Why is he unavailable?
KAFKA
He's having his nap.
LUKA COLLINGS
In the middle of the day?
KAFKA
Provincial Finance doesn't have any money to spend.  He said he's going to nap all day until we get some funds.
Kafka sits next to Jason and tries to extract her name plate from her pile of papers.  She spills them in the process.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Just please try to be quiet...As I was saying.
ARK STRUTHERS
Enough with this rigidly scripted rhetoric...tell the man about The Thief!
Jason has a puzzled look on his face.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Our country lives in perpetual terror of a thief.  A thief so skilled that we have not been able to catch him or successfully track him.
JASON
This thief is stealing...
BABA VILLONSKY
The Thief is stealing 'everything'...this is correct.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Marvello has six national museums all of which have suffered burglaries at the hands of the thief.  If you were to take the contents of what's left in the museums you could barely fill up the Museum of Historic Bumper Stickers with what's left.  Deputy Financial Adjunct Savage here could probably provide some more accurate figures on our losses...
KAFKA
Um...yes, I...
(sorting)
I think I...might have left it...
DANKA VAN DANKA
Adjunct Savage, if you can not produce a simple figure than I don't see why you need to be at this meeting.
KAFKA
Oh yes, here it is.  Thirty two million two hundred and forty six Marvellan Rune.
Jason peers over, the page Kafka was pretending to read from is blank.  Was she just making that up?
DANKA VAN DANKA
An exorbitant amount, as you can see. 
LUKA COLLINGS
The money doesn't matter...the money...it's secondary...it's the security...The security of the matter which has gone to hell...People's homes are being robbed now.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes, on a nightly basis five to six homes are robbed as well as an additional five to six businesses.  It seems as if the thief has a methodical campaign to destroy our country.
JASON
And you're...Not able to stop these people?
ARK STRUTHERS
No, that is why we requested help from your country.
BABA VILLONSKY
We are blind in most of these areas it would seem.  I don't think our detectives can even tell if it's an army of a hundred...or simply one person...We just don't know. 
LUKA COLLINGS
Yes, it is our proposal to initiate satellite canvassing of the entire country.  Once we get an eagle-eye view we'll be able to tell whose most liking robbing us.  Right now our top theories are that the crimes are either being committed by space aliens or perhaps a group of ninjas who have mastered the art of teleportation, like in that movie.  Once we have satellite look out we want Navy Seal-Men with infrared goggles on every street corner ready to intercept these thieves.
JASON
I don't think you understand...
ARK STRUTHERS
Right, it's not just national treasures they're stealing.  My summering cottage was burglarized and everything from the televisioning sets to my humorous bumper sticker collection were stolen.  It's inhuman what these thugs are doing.
JASON
No, the thing is...
DANKA VAN DANKA
With full satellite and hi-tech military support.  We should be able to have these thieves rounded up in a matter of days, the expense to your country would of course be minimal.
JASON
It's not that--
ARK STRUTHERS
And you would of course have our grateful thanks.  Marvello could be a powerful ally.  Our air force consisting of several highly-trained dirigible squads is the pride of our country, that and our National Girl Corps has continentally ranked cookie baking skills. 
DANKA VAN DANKA
So...Mr.  Smith, does this sound reasonable?
JASON
Um, yes, I suppose.  But, you see the thing is, I've...I don't know why I'm the one to have to tell you this.
ARK STRUTHERS
What, Son?
JASON
I'm...the help.  Me.  I'm what they sent, they didn't send the Navy Seal-Men or anything like that...I don't think...they're planning to.
LUKA COLLINGS
Are you sure?
ARK STRUTHERS
Who are you to make assertions like this?
JASON
I'm no one...I'm who they sent to help.
BABA VILLONSKY
Come now, boy.  You're not no one.  How does the expression translate?  'Those who are most humble have the most reason to be proud.'
JASON
Oh, they didn't send me here because I have anything to be proud of.  I'm just a field agent, I don't--
LUKA COLLINGS
Right, see, just a field agent.  We shouldn't go taking his word for it.  He doesn't know, what does Van Danka know?  Nothing except what we tell her.
DANKA VAN DANKA
But, regardless, you are still able to relay our needs to your government, aren't you?  Your government will...consider them?
JASON
I...suppose.
ARK STRUTHERS
Well, it's settled then...You know I wasn't going to tell any of you this, but there was a chance that President Hoke could be stopping by today..and now I think he'll be very plea--
At that moment President Talleyrand Hoke enters the conference room with one or two security assistants following along with him.  Hoke is a short fat balding man with a sash thrown over his shoulder.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
Hello everybody, how are you today?
ARK STRUTHERS
Attention in the room!
The five Marvellans stand and do a backwards-handed salute, Jason also rises to his feet, not sure what the custom is.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
The President puts his hand up and gives a little nodding salute back to everyone in turn.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE (CONT'D)
I wanted to greet the ambassador formally.  From Our Beloved King, myself, our country let me extend my thanks to.
President Hoke extends his hand, a broad almost childlike smile on his face.  Jason shakes his hand and returns none of the man's warmth.
JASON
There's no reason to thank me.  I'm not here to do anything for you. 
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- DAY
Danka and Jason walk out the front steps of Main Central Headquarters with Baba loping along behind them.  The protest is still going on and can be heard dimly in the background.
BABA VILLONSKY
You're not one for manners, are ya boy?  That was our president.
JASON
No.  I'm not one for wasting other people's time either...I shouldn't be here, it wasn't clear what it is you need.
DANKA VAN DANKA
You're sure you can provide no help to us?
JASON
Listen, when I get back I'll tell somebody.  But the people who sent me here, they did it because...
Jason pauses, not sure how explain it.
JASON (CONT'D)
They sent me here for different reasons than you think...If I could get a jet, drop me off someplace.  Someplace sunny maybe, the Mata-key islands...
DANKA VAN DANKA
Mata-key?  Where the thieving accountants go to hide?  Why would you want to go there?  Are you joking?
BABA VILLONSKY
This man will be of no help to us Van Danka...He's tried to make that clear to you...From the looks of it he's the least his government is willing to spare for us.  I say send him back...and when you get to your great big country sir; tell them we need a fire brigade to handle this blaze, not a bag of damp sand.  What they've sent us is an insult.
As Baba is speaking we suddenly see the crowd's fervor raise a little.  Danka turns to look, we still hear the sounds of Kopie Little's protests, but they have become very specific.  He almost looks as if he is reading a news report.  The crowd looks entranced with him.
JASON
(noticing the change)
What is it?
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's the thief...
The doors of Main Central Headquarters suddenly seem to burst off the hinges.  Armed policeman are rushing out.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
...the dissidents love the thief.
EXT. MAIN STREET MARVELLO, JEWELRY STORE -- DAY
We see a jagged montage of the robbery.  We see hands and feet fly into frame.  The thief is only partially revealed and what we do see is covered by a long red trench coat and a full-coverage motorcycle helmet.
-The thief sprays something on the front walk of a jewelry store.
-The thief smashes out the glass display case.
-Tight shot of jewels being stuffed into a messenger bag.
-A fat bald jeweler runs out of the front of the jewelry store, shotgun in hand.  He slips on the slippery walk where the thief sprayed.  The jeweler does a near full back flip and lands discharging his shotgun into an awning.
The thief mounts a moped and departs.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka's car is speeding through Marvello.  Danka is talking on the CB while driving, she and Jason are alone in the car, we hear Baba's voice on the radio.
BABA VILLONSKY
(over CB)
Klemma's fine jewelry.  Three-thirty-two main.
Danka and Jason watch as a fleet of Marvellan police officers cut them off.  The police cars speed down the street, Danka attempts to follow them.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(talking into CB)
Aye, Baba, I'm en route to the--
Jason grabs the wheel and shoves it away from the street, forcing the car down a smaller street.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
What are you doing?! 
JASON
People run from the police.  To catch someone running from the police you have to be someplace where the police are not.
Danka regards him strangely.
JASON (CONT'D)
Car chases are a hobby of mine. 
EXT. MAIN STREET MARVELLO -- DAY
The thief rides a moped powered by a single cylinder pumping so fast and hard it has become a blur.  The thief speeds through the cobblestone streets past statues and other faux-European vistas.  The red trench coat billows in the breeze.
We see the moped speeding through a busy narrow street.  The police cars following have to go to single file to follow.
We see the moped blur as it speeds through a shopping district.  The thief speeds through crosswalks, narrowly missing pedestrians.
The police try to follow but are slowed down.  Cars crash and general mayhem ensues.  We watch a city that looks like a giant china shop smash apart as a bull smashes through it.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka and Jason are rounding a corner.  Danka is startled!  She realizes they've cut the thief off on the other side of Main street.  The thief speeds toward them so fast they might collide.
JASON
There!
We see Danka, somewhat scared, not quite sure what to do.
JASON (CONT'D)
Put your foot down, get 'em!
EXT. MAIN STREET MARVELLO -- CONTINUOUS
The thief SQUEEZES the brake on the moped, skidding to a stop.  The thief makes an evasive maneuver, hooks a hard right and starts to head up a steep road.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
JASON
You wanted to catch a thief didn't you.  There they are!
Invigorated, enraged, Danka stomps the gas and continues the pursuit. 
EXT. THE TOP OF THE STEEP HILL, CITY REFUSE CENTER -- CONTINUOUS
Two garbagemen go about their rounds at the top of the hill.  Below, we can barely make out the chase.  It's not close enough for our garbagemen to take notice.  A large tanker-like cylinder is loaded onto the back of their truck.
Once the garbage cylinder is locked into place a man pats it to signal they should drive off.  He speaks in untranslated Marvellan.
INT. THE CAB OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK -- MOMENTS LATER
The garbagemen converse in Marvellan.
GARBAGE TRUCK DRIVER
(Subtitled Marvellan)
So I tell her, Bertha, I take trash seriously.  You may not, but I do.
GARBAGEMAN
(subtitled Marvellan)
Perception of beauty is the greatest moral test.
GARBAGE TRUCK DRIVER
(subtitled Marvellan)
Aye. 
GARBAGEMAN
(subtitled Marvellan, pointing)
Decay has a beauty seldom perceived.  That's our first stop.
The garbageman hops out.   
EXT. STEEP COBBLESTONED ROAD -- CONTINUOUS
As the thief charges up the road the pace of the pursuit is reduced to near crawl.  The steep incline causes the tiny cylinder that powers the moped to work extra hard.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Danka grabs the CB.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(speaking into CB)
All units, this is Lieutenant Van Danka.  The thief is leading us up Ionesco road.  Anyone in the vicinity attempt to apprehend from the north end.  We need to create roadblocks at both ends of the road.
EXT. STEEP COBBLESTONED ROAD -- CONTINUOUS
We see Danka and Jason plowing up the road.  They are moving so slowly and stressfully that pedestrians are walking along at the same pace the pursuit is going.
We cut to a shot of the top of the road.  The garbage truck, the same one as before is slowly making its way down the road.  The truck brakes sharply to avoid speeding down the steep hill.
The other side of the road, we see three or four Marvellan police cars from a different precinct.  They crest the lip of Ionesco road and plow down it at an insane pace.  The same reckless and erratic style of driving as before.  The cars crash and smash about like a demolition derby as they charge down the road.
We see Danka and Jason chasing the thief again, at the tippity-top of the road they can see the police cars coming down.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
JASON
(noticing the cars)
Too fast...
EXT. STEEP COBBLESTONED ROAD -- CONTINUOUS
One of the police cars careens wildly out of control.  It collides with the garbage truck, knocking the tanker storage compartment loose from its feeble mounting.
INT. THE CAB OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK -- CONTINUOUS
GARBAGEMAN
(noticing the melee)
Saints of heaven!
EXT. STEEP COBBLESTONED ROAD -- CONTINUOUS
We see the front lip of Danka's car, it is so close to the thief's moped the bumpers are practically touching.
The tanker compartment of the trash truck slowly....tears...its way loose from the truck.  The heavy metal cylinder hits the cobblestones with a loud crash and...begins to roll.
INT. THE CAB OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK -- CONTINUOUS
GARBAGE TRUCK DRIVER
(watching it roll away)
See, no respect for nothing, see what happens!
GARBAGEMAN
The trash is a cruel mistress.
EXT. STEEP COBBLESTONED ROAD -- CONTINUOUS
We see panicked expressions cross everyone's faces.
We see the thief's moped lope away from Danka's car, turn, and start to go down the road away from the calamity of the rolling trash cylinder.
We cut back and forth between Danka's car and the calamity of the street very rapidly.
We see Danka, a dumbfounded look covering her face.
The trash cylinder rolls closer, gathering speed.
We see Danka's feet working the pedals, she takes her foot off the gas and stomps the clutch.  The car starts to roll backward.
Rapid cuts between Danka's car and the destruction outside.
We see the thief make their way back down the slope.  Danka is no longer pursuing the thief but is instead, just trying to avoid the spinning tanker.  The car speeds backward, in neutral.
Danka has her eyes mounted on the road now behind her, she steers the car while looking through the back window.  Jason grips the dashboard and stares at the trash container.  It spits refuse all over the street as it rolls.
Further down the street.  We see one of the police vehicles stop and two policemen run from the doors to either side of the street.  The car sits in the middle of the road, certain to be crushed by the trash.
Danka sees the parked car it is an obstacle right in her path.  She looks to her left, the thief is gaining speed, but it looks as if both of them are certain to be crushed by the trash.  Danka shoots around, passing the car on the opposite side of the thief.
We see the thief slow the moped and throw it to the ground.  The thief collapses and skids along the ground.
But...
The trash container rolls over the abandoned police car.  The thief, hanging onto the side of the car is unharmed, and now safely out of the way of the trash.
Danka watches as the thief evades her.  We see a look cross her face that she wants to follow.
Below, in the intersection, onlookers observe what's happening.
A truck advertising some bizarre product pulls into the intersection and stops.  We pull in tight on the driver's face and the camera pans back to reveal a mural of a drag queen on the side of the van.  The photo of the famous Marvellan drag queen, Khairy Fahvell, has her mouth open in a shrieking manner.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(to Jason)
Down!
Danka sinks her head down below the dash and Jason does the same.  The little car slices underneath the truck, tearing the roof of the car off and mostly demolishing the little Marvellan automobile.
Again, a tight shot on Khairy Fahvell's screaming expression.  The trash can collides with the side of the truck.  The truck tips over, but absorbs the full force of the impact.
The back of the truck pops open.  We see the contents of the truck spill open, a large assortment of multi-flavored Khairy Fahvell personal lubricants.
Danka and Jason sit in the remains of Danka's car.  The car is a wreck but we still see the engine running in a feeble manner.  Any components revealed are typically Marvellan, strangely engineered.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(looking at the wreckage)
The country can't afford this.
Jason looks around as police and spectators start to mill about.
JASON
I'll help you find her.
DANKA VAN DANKA
It hardly matters now...
Danka surveys the destruction with a kind of despair.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
I hardly see how things can get much worse.  Our country is on the cusp of both poverty and anarchy.  It would be wise of anyone with any sense to get out.
JASON
I'm not doing it for your country.  Any thief that is that talented deserves to be caught.
DANKA VAN DANKA
To face justice.
JASON
No, to prove I could catch her.
As they talk we see a group of scrubby-looking protesters gathering.  They pick up the sex-lube from the ground.  Danka and Jason catch their attention.
RADICAL
(in Marvellan, subtitled)
Praise be to the Thief!
The Radicals squirt lubricant in a high arch all over Danka and Jason.
EXT. THE SITE OF THE WRECK ON THE STEEP HILL -- DAY
Jason is trudging back up the hill with Danka behind her.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Mr. Smith, I feel I must point something out to you.
JASON
What's that?
DANKA VAN DANKA
When you said...before...you'll catch 'her.'
JASON
Who?
DANKA VAN DANKA
The thief...you said 'her'...
JASON
It looked, I couldn't be sure...the red coat.  It looked to me like it could have been a woman.
Danka suddenly slips and collapses to the ground, Jason rushes to help pick her up.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(taking Jason's hand)
Sorry, it's hard to climb when you've got Fahvell-lube all over your feet.
JASON
I assume the thief could be a woman.  You do know about women's lib in your country, I assume?
DANKA VAN DANKA
(slightly irritated with the comment)
For the longest time we thought it was a group of thieves, perhaps controlled by someone like Jenner Croule...
(Danka looks at a particularly hairy chunk of damage)
We're going to have a lot of damage for Kafka Savage to write into her financial books.
Up the road, Jason sees the wrecked police car.  He rushes to it and looks around.  He searches all around but finds nothing.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(exhausted)
You're hoping the thief dropped something?
JASON
It's a place to start.
(he continues searching)
DANKA VAN DANKA
Can I ask you a question?
JASON
(preoccupied)
What?
DANKA VAN DANKA
When you're stateside and you crack your cases...When you finally get on the trail of a criminal...What is it that tips you off?  What is it usually?
JASON
What do you mean?  Like do I look for footprints at the crime scene?
DANKA VAN DANKA
The Thief gives us no leads, no clues, nothing.  What can you start looking for when you consistently find nothing?
JASON
It could be anything.  Somebody could see something.  Somebody could say that didn't see something.  There's a million ways to...
(he sees something and reaches under the car for it)
...unravel a crime.
DANKA VAN DANKA
When this crime is finally solved it will revive our country.  The criminal element has grown too strong here, Jenner Croule, Kopie Little, it's all connected, this dissension.  Our Beloved King could die any day now and this rabble--
Jason yanks something from underneath the car.  It is a black helmet, the black helmet that the thief was wearing.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
It's...here...here...
(looking around)
Someone saw them, they were around here...someone...
Jason inspects the helmet, it is scratched up but looks to be almost devoid of markings.  Danka storms around, looking at all the little shops, trying to think of who she will question first.
Jason holds the helmet upside down, peers down into it.  Slowly he raises the helmet to his face, closes his eyes, and then...he takes a deep whiff from the lining, smelling the inside of it.
Danka sees an old woman sitting in a chair.  She practically runs to her.
Jason opens his eyes, he looks down into the helmet.  He reaches inside and flips over a tag.  Written on the other side of the manufacturer's tag are two Marvellan characters, unrecognizable to us.
Surreptitiously, Jason rips the tag and puts it into his pocket.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(to old woman)
You, you were outside when all of this happened...?
The old woman does not reply, only keeps staring forward.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(anxiously)
Did you see who rode away on a small motorbike?
OLD PSYCHIC
I see everything...Step inside, darling girl.
The old woman hobbles inside her little shop.
INT. THE PSYCHIC'S TEA ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
We see the old woman enter followed by Danka and eventually Jason.  The inside of the Psychic's little establishment is anything but mystical.  We see a huge number of cigarette posters and Marvellan lottery advertisements coating every inch of the walls.  There are so many it looks as if the little house is held aloft by them.  All around Danka and the old lady are coin-operated chance games; one-armed bandits.  Vending machines dispense lottery tickets and cigarettes.  All of the advertisements are in questionable taste.  We see something saying: "Buy Jesus Lucky Scratch NOW!"
DANKA VAN DANKA
We just need to know who left the scene of this accident.
OLD PSYCHIC
Sit down.
DANKA VAN DANKA
As a citizen of Marvello, you are required to tell me, I am a police officer.  Whatever your political views may be it doesn't change the fact that if you have information about a criminal...
OLD PSYCHIC
Sit down, there's two of you...aren't there...a man...I can smell your after shave...come...sit down.  We will have tea if you like.
JASON
She's blind.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(starting to get up)
I'm sorry if we wasted your time.  We're not interested in having our tea leaves read.
OLD PSYCHIC
I thought if I pretended to be blind it would help business.  People think blind psychics have more credibility, you see.  They think I'm less likely to cheat them if I'm a crippled.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Then you're not...
OLD PSYCHIC
Then Jenner Croule sent his thugs around for payment.  I refused to give them my money and they decided to make me blind.  Really being blind hasn't helped my business.  The vending machines are popular though.  They do a better job of cheating you then I could.
DANKA VAN DANKA
We're very busy, we'll be on our way then.
OLD PSYCHIC
I see you could care less what Jenner Croule does to me.  What does it matter if a gang of boys mutilate an old woman for a hand full of dreckle?  It matters nothing to the Marvellan police!
DANKA VAN DANKA
(concerned)
It's not that it doesn't matter.  It's just that we're very busy, we'll come back later.  We'll take a full report.
OLD PSYCHIC
If you sit I can tell you many things...things you'll want to know.
Danka looks to Jason, Jason shakes his head back at her.  They sit.
DANKA VAN DANKA
What can you tell us?
OLD PSYCHIC
I only socialize over tea, and if you want my tea you have to pay for it.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Tea then, for both of us.
The old woman takes a square package of tea from a box and places it into the bottom of their cups.  Jason and Danka watch as the old woman feels around the desk and finds a steel kettle on a hot plate.  The old woman removes the kettle and pours a cup for Danka and then for Jason.  She sets the kettle down and reaches into a collection of syrups and sauces.  We see her fumble with a bottle of honey.
OLD PSYCHIC
The police only come to the high end of Ionesco street when they want to take a poor man to jail.  I heard the calamity, riots in the streets they say.  You might as well stock up on lottery tickets if you're putting your hopes in a new Marvello.  A king, no, Our Beloved King's old and feeble and has no more heirs, the president, parliament, the radicals.  Who knows who I'll have to give my money to in the future.
The woman grabs a bottle of Khairy Fahvell sex lube that was among the condiments and starts to pour it into Danka's drink.
OLD PSYCHIC (CONT'D)
And then the thief comes along, and all the rules change because they tore the bottom out.  Military can't stop her, police can't stop her.
Danka almost grabs the woman's hand to stop her from pouring the sex lube in her tea.  The woman pulls back at the last second.  In a spry fashion she sets the sex lube down and grabs the honey.
OLD PSYCHIC (CONT'D)
(chuckling slightly)
It's up to the people, we all preserve our own interests, no matter how small they are.  The police's interest is not looking stupid, once you accomplish that you'll be done, whether you catch the thief or not.
The psychic takes a sip of her tea.
OLD PSYCHIC (CONT'D)
You see, I'm not usually one to broadcast the political weather.  I mostly specialize in the forecasts of heart flutters and waves of fortune, give me your hand dear.  I will tell you what man will marry you.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I really don't have time.
The old woman grabs Danka's hand and begins to stroke her palm.
OLD PSYCHIC
You're ambitious, to say the least.  Your hands are callused, you're not afraid of hard work are you, dear girl?...but a softness too...you'd make a flattering wife for a prince...but still...you're waiting...something else...your hand will become far more callused before you put a pretty ring on it, but it will happen, fortune uses people like you as examples, they give other people something to bet on.
The old woman turns to Jason.
OLD PSYCHIC (CONT'D)
Your hand, sir...
JASON
I'd rather not, really, this is a waste of time.
OLD PSYCHIC
Why insult me so?..A blind woman like me with nothing but the vending machines to keep her company?  Prove to me your heart's not that cold.
Jason, grudgingly, extends his hand.  The psychic begins touching it.
JASON
The only thing I'm interested in on my hand is if you can see where this thief is.  Ever since I've got here that's all I've been hearing about, that and your screwed up country.  Once I catch this thief I'm going to crank out a book about it, so make sure you say something else quaint and charming and ultimately pointless so I can make a little footnote out of it.
OLD PSYCHIC
Your hands are softer than hers.  You're not much of a worker.
JASON
There are different methods of work.
OLD PSYCHIC
Oh, 'tis certain.  But your fingers, small, strong, quick, the work you do is aging you too fast.  Your heart, always beating a little too fast, your life, never moving quite fast enough for you.  You want to know who the thief is, it's you, you can't admit it to yourself, not yet, but you're the thief.
DANKA VAN DANKA
He's not the thief.
OLD PSYCHIC
Isn't he?  Look in his pocket.
Danka looks to Jason, confused.
The old woman grabs a ceramic cat and slams it down between the three of them, the cat has a hollow head and we hear change jingling in the bottom.
OLD PSYCHIC (CONT'D)
Now pay the kitty cat.
INT. THE JEWELRY STORE CRIME SCENE -- AFTERNOON
Danka and Jason enter the crime scene.  A team of Marvellan special investigators are scouring for evidence.
DANKA VAN DANKA
What did that woman mean when she said look in your pocket?
JASON
Don't worry about it.  She ripped us off.
A team of investigators yells to Danka to come inspect something.
MARVELLAN C.S.I.
Van Danka!  Your attentions!
Danka hurries off.
Jason stands around for a moment, inspecting the damage.  Surreptitiously he dips into his pocket and looks at the tag.  Baba approaches, catching him by surprise.
BABA VILLONSKY
You decided to stay and help us...?
JASON
(showing him the tag)
What can you tell me about this?
BABA VILLONSKY
(a heavy pause)
I think in the hands of a resourceful man this could lead him straight to the thief.
JASON
How do I become that resourceful man?
BABA VILLONSKY
I'll write down an address for you.  Go.  By yourself.  Don't take Van Danka.  There are things that are not for her.
Jason sizes up Baba carefully. 
BABA VILLONSKY (CONT'D)
If you have no more questions I'll get the address for you.
EXT. A STREET ON THE POOR SIDE OF THE COUNTRY -- DAY
An establishing shot of a run down tenement building.
INT. A RUNDOWN TENEMENT -- CONTINUOUS
Jason enters the building and looks around, feeling the situation out.
An elderly couple walks by and nods a polite hello.  Jason looks at a row of mailboxes.
Jason looks at the tag he ripped from the helmet.  He goes down the line of the mailboxes.  Looking at the Marvellan symbols and comparing them with the names on the mailboxes.  Again we see the strange combination of English letters and the Marvellan language.
Jason finds it.  He lines up the tag and with a mailbox.  He looks down at the English translation of the name.  Written there we see a name, although we don't get a Marvellan translation.
Jason inspects further, the mailbox belongs to apartment 201.  He heads up the stairs.
INT. SECOND FLOOR OF TENEMENT -- CONTINUOUS
Jason emerges from the steps and goes to the first door he sees, apartment 201.  He looks around for anyone watching and then presses his ear to the door and listens.
Nothing.  Jason looks around again, he goes to a window at the end of the hall, just a few steps away, and opens it.
EXT. OUTSIDE TENEMENT WINDOW -- CONTINUOUS
Jason climbs out the window and out onto a thin ledge.  The Marvellan tenement district appears to be almost enshrouded in laundry from this angle.  Everywhere Jason looks socks and underwear are hanging from clotheslines strung from one end of the street to the other.
Jason shimmies trough the clotheslines, along the ledge, sticking close to the building.  He makes his way to the window and peers inside.  We see a plain and mostly orderly woman's apartment.  Slowly, Jason lifts the window with his left hand.
INT. THE APARTMENT -- CONTINUOUS
Suddenly, the sound of keys in the lock.  The latch turning and the door opening.
EXT. OUTSIDE TENEMENT WINDOW -- CONTINUOUS
Quickly and calmly Jason slides the window back down and cautiously backs away just a little.
We hear the apartment start to come to life.  We hear the sound of Jazz music played from a record player.  The window flies open and Jason backs away and looks on carefully.
We see two female hands poke out and start to wind in a clothesline.  From behind a sheet we see an attractive set of underwear roll near the window.
A bra, a set of panties, a scandalous looking piece of lingerie, a female hand plucks all of them off the line and takes them inside.
We hear the sound of a running shower mixed in with the music.
Jason takes a peek inside.  We see the woman, and for the first time we start to get a hint that this woman is Kafka Savage, from earlier, the dorky accountant from the office.  She is preparing for a shower.  We see she is now mostly nude but we never quite get a look at her face.  She has fair skin and dark hair and not much else is revealed.
Jason is fairly certain she is in the shower.  He carefully opens the window and sneaks inside, shutting it behind him.
INT. THE APARTMENT -- CONTINUOUS
Jason slips inside.  The apartment, upon closer inspection, now looks to be only one room.  Kafka is in the shower with the door open.  Jason snoops about, he goes to Kafka's dresser and opens it.  He sees clothes, nothing special.  He looks on top of the dresser and finds a jewelry box.  He opens it.  There are a few modest pieces of jewelry inside as well as a few other keepsakes.  Jason notices a couple of photographs, he turns them over.
The first photograph is a black and white portrait of a man with a full pointy beard, he is dressed in a Marvellan military uniform.  He is older, slightly balding, but still handsome and dignified.  This is Kafka's father.
The second photo is a black and white snapshot of a younger and chubbier Kafka and her father together, smiling for the camera.
The shower stops.  A look of full alert crosses Jason's face.  Quickly, he closes the box and moves it back just as he found it.  He proceeds to the door and starts to open it.
HE CAN'T!  Jason turns a knob, then a latch, he looks up and down at the configuration of Marvellan door locks and can't figure out how it should open.
Panicked, Jason runs and makes a leap out the window.
Kafka emerges from the shower, still damp and clad in a towel.  She looks at the window and sees it is open.  Curious, she goes and looks out the window.
EXT. THE LAUNDRY JUNGLE OUTSIDE KAFKA'S WINDOW -- CONTINUOUS
Modestly holding her towel, Kafka pokes her head out the window and looks around.  She sees nothing except the laundry, and goes back inside.
We pull back to reveal that Jason is hiding out on one of the clotheslines.  He is obscured from Kafka's view by a large sheet drying.  He looks around his tangle of clothes and cords, wondering how he's going to get down.
Then, we see one end of the clothesline start to pull loose from the building.
Jason panics.  The clothesline yanks loose from the wall and Jason falls.
Luckily, we see a Marvellan playboy driving by, he is talking on a cell phone the size of a brick.  Jason falls into the back seat of his convertible, tangled in an enormous bra and other articles of dowdy underwear.
MARVELLAN PLAYBOY
(speaking Marvellan, seeing Jason tangled in underwear)
Boy, you must have had a wild night, buddy!
EXT. OUTSIDE KAFKA'S TENEMENT -- EVENING
Night is starting to fall.  Across the street, maybe a little bruised, Jason is watching the front of Kafka's tenement while pretending to read a newspaper.
Kafka walks from the front of her building.  She is wearing a fetching dress and carrying a small purse, she looks well prepared for the evening.
Jason follows her.
EXT. MARVELLAN STREETS -- CONTINUOUS
Jason follows Kafka, watching her.  He stays back a safe distance and watches her go about her business.
Kafka approaches an old man wearing a ragged looking Marvellan military uniform.  He appears to be selling roses.  Kafka starts to buy a rose from him.
Jason hangs back, watching.
Kafka tries to give the man some money for a wilted rose.  The Marvellan Vet refuses to take it.  Kafka and the vet exchange pleasantries, she smiles, waves at him and continues on.
EXT. BERTO FORRO RISTO -- CONTINUOUS
Kafka goes inside a restaurant called Berto Forro Risto.  Jason follows her.
INT. BERTO FORRO RISTO -- CONTINUOUS
The inside of the restaurant is nearly packed.  There are no individual tables but instead everyone is sitting along two large tables and dining side by side.  The atmosphere is jovial and familiar.
Jason sees Kafka and takes a seat at a cautious distance.  Jason looks over and sees Kafka talking with some people.  An older woman takes Kafka's rose and removes it from the paper.  The woman brushes back Kafka's hair in a motherly fashion and puts the rose behind her ear.
INT. BERTO FORRO RISTO -- LATER
The meal progresses.  We see some people trying to make conversation with Jason.  He doesn't understand Marvellan so he only smiles and nods.  He watches Kafka, who seems to be lighting up the section of the room she's in.
A handsome man approaches her and she is introduced to him.  Jason watches as she smiles and blushes.  She takes the man's hand to shake it but then seems to make a show about how big and strong his hand is.  She turns to the older woman, beside her, laughing.  Everyone is laughing.  Kafka takes her hand back.
Bang!  Jason notices it.  Kafka has the man's big ring in her hand.  She curls it up, out of sight.  The man continues laughing with the rest of the table, oblivious.
Jason's stare is laser-like.  Kafka looks up at him, their eyes meet.  She puts her hand on the table.  Jason's eyes watch the hand with the stolen ring.  The air between them seems electrified with tension.  Her look seems to say, 'Are you going to do something about this?'  
Jason looks around.  He catches the attention of a waiter.  The waiter comes over, leans down and Jason says something to him.
The waiter looks at Jason, confused, he doesn't speak English.
JASON
Excuse me, I was wondering if you could bring me a large bag of boiled bagels and a spare tire to throw at my grandmother? 
Kafka watches as Jason steals cash out of the front of the waiter's apron.
Jason shakes his head, smiles apologetically and shrugs.  'It wasn't important anyway' his expression says.
Jason looks back to Kafka.  They both put their booty into their pockets.
We see someone yell something in Marvellan to the band.  They begin to play a festive Marvellan favorite.  A big bearded man comes in with a table over his head.  He SLAMS it down at the end of the dining hall.
The crowd begins to get up, Jason and Kafka are both urged to their feet.  A festive line dance carries through the restaurant.
Kafka and Jason both dance on opposite sides of the room.  The dancing procession mills around the table.  Then, couples are grabbed around their waists and lifted up on top of the table in the center of the room.  Couples take turns dancing on top of the large table, taking center stage for all those below them.
Kafka and Jason are closer now, they are on opposite sides of the table.  Jason watches her, she steals a wallet from a man she is dancing with, and then looks to him.
Jason turns starts to dance with a woman.  She turns, still dancing with him.  Jason lifts her necklace.
Kafka and Jason dance.  Kafka removes the watch from another dancer while he is staring at her breasts.
Jason finds himself near the big burly bearded man.  Abruptly, Jason is grabbed by this man and hoisted up onto the table.
The girl on the opposite side of the table jumps into the crowd and Kafka takes her place.
Kafka and Jason face each other as the crowd dances around them.
Kafka launches into a traditional Marvellus dance routine.  She taps her feet in time to the music as the crowd cheers for her.
The crowd looks to Jason.  Jason cannot return the dance, he embarrasses himself.  The crowd laughs at him and he is pulled down.  A young handsome man replaces him and returns Kafka's dance with the appropriate steps.
Jason looks up, determined to get back up on the table.  Kafka dances so well all the other women fear to try and take her place.
The other young man jumps down.  As he does The Big Burly Bearded Man grabs another smaller table and puts it on top of this one.
The crowd packs in even tighter.  The table Kafka was dancing on starts to fill with bodies.  Jason climbs up, hoping to get near Kafka again.  Kafka steps onto the higher, smaller table, she is now dancing about twelve feet off the ground, people are milling all around her and the whole set up looks intensely festive but very dangerous.
The band plays faster.  Another young man jumps up to try and dance with Kafka.  The two of them dance in a fast and raunchy manner as the rest of the crowd looks on and dances around them.
The young man dances well, Kafka turns away from him and then...Gives him a sharp bump with her behind, knocking him off the table.  The young man falls and is caught by his friends who pass him along.
Jason seizes the opportunity and jumps to the top tier to dance with Kafka.  He holds his own, copying the steps he saw earlier.  The two of them dance fast and close, their hands on each other's sweaty bodies.
Kafka turns, we see a tight shot of her eyes.  Slowly she holds up JASON'S DRIVER'S LICENSE.  Jason looks shocked, Kafka squeezes it between her fingers and pops it into the crowd.  Then she leans back and falls backwards into the crowd.  They catch her easily and she is passed off hand over hand until she is clear of the dancing throng.
Jason however, slips and falls, he falls from the top tier to the second table to the ground, smacking hard.
Jason manages to get to his feet, just in time to see Kafka on her way out.  He stumbles after her.
Jason watches Kafka, she pays the manager, smiles, thanks him, walks out, and steals the cash box as she leaves.
Jason tries to hurry after her.  The manager holds up a hand and halts him.  Jason pulls out a Marvellan bill and gives it to him, no idea how much he has handed him.
EXT. BERTO FORRO RISTO -- NIGHT
Jason runs out, looks around, just in time to see Kafka crossing the street and rushing away.
EXT. IN FRONT OF THE MARVELLAN DOWNTOWN CHURCH -- CONTINUOUS
Jason runs, tries to catch her.  As he comes around the corner we see Kafka dashing into a little flurry of night time traffic.  She runs into the street and jumps onto the platform of a little bus passing by.  The bus ticket taker looks at her scornfully for jumping aboard like that.
Jason tries to race after her, but nearly walks in front of a car that honks at him.
He watches her go.  She looks back and gives him a tiny wave.
Jason looks back, in front of the church is a collection box.  We see the words 'for the poor' written on the top of it in Marvellan.  Jason notices it is overflowing.
Jason opens up the box and sees...the ring, the watch, all of the items Kafka stole tonight.  Jason reaches into the box and pulls out his wallet.  He looks and sees it is empty.  Jason reaches into his pockets and pulls out all of the items he stole and adds them to the box.
We hear a car squeak to a halt behind him.  Jason turns and sees Danka in a little car.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Mr. Smith, what are you doing out in this neighborhood?
JASON
Um, I'm...
Jason steps away from the box, hoping not to arouse too much suspicion.
DANKA VAN DANKA
You were doing a little stakeout, I imagine?
JASON
How did you...?
DANKA VAN DANKA
I know, I've suspected Jenner Croule for too long just to sit by and do nothing.  Did you get lost trying to find his night club?
JASON
Yeah, I must have.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Well, get in.
Jason gets into Danka's car.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
JASON
This is the gangster that everyone's been talking about?
DANKA VAN DANKA
(driving)
He's been a plague on our country for too long.  He's the king of organized crime in Marvello and if anything is organized, it is the actions of the thief.  They're too large to just be out of control.
JASON
What are we going to do?  Surely you've talked to him already.
DANKA VAN DANKA
The department has, but they've gotten nowhere.
JASON
What are we going to do then?
DANKA VAN DANKA
I suspect you're much like me, Mr. Smith.  That's why they sent you, you're a man of action.  The others may be content to sit around, follow proper procedures, rules, watch while the whole country gets buried in the cat's box.  We nearly had the thief today, and if others hadn't interfered I know we could have caught them.
JASON
Perhaps.
DANKA VAN DANKA
The force...always getting in my way.  Our way.  We like to get things done...don't we?
JASON
Sure.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE ROYALE ELECTRIC -- NIGHT
Jason and Danka pull up to a night club in a downtown industrial district.  All around them the city seems dormant except for the thriving little spot near the entrance of the 'Royale Electric', Jenner Croule's nightclub.
Danka and Jason try to keep a low profile as they cruise near the entrance.  Danka pulls around and parks the car in the back of a parking lot, keeping the club just in view.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
JASON
What are we going to do, sit here and make sure no one suspicious comes out?
DANKA VAN DANKA
We'll observe the activity.  This is a warehouse district, if Jenner Croule comes out, there's a good chance he's going to look at the night's booty.  If a group of workmen come in, I would bet they are associated with the thief, moving goods.
Outside, a man approaches with a flashlight.
JASON
Who's that?
DANKA VAN DANKA
He wants money for parking most likely.
Danka rolls down the window and takes out money from her purse.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(to Parking Lot Attendant, in Marvellan, we read the subtitles)
We'll be here for a while, making out, see to it that we're not spied upon.
The Parking Lot Attendant takes the money, regards them both suspiciously and moves on.
JASON
What did you say to him?
DANKA VAN DANKA
I told him we were normal people going about normal business and nothing to worry about.
JASON
That might not have been a good idea.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Why?
JASON
People who want to look too normal are often the ones who arouse suspicion.  He's going to go tell his boss that Marvellan P.D. Blue is out here.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I doubt it.
JASON
If we wanted to blend in we should have come to dance...something...We can't just sit here...this isn't right.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I seriously doubt--
Danka is interrupted by two thugs on either side of the car.  They open both doors of the little car.
The thugs dress in a loud kind of faux-1940's style.  They wear tight double breasted suits and bowler hats.
THUG #1
(in Marvellan, subtitled)
There is no reason for the two of you to stay out here.  Please come inside and be comfortable.
Jason exchanges a terse glance with the other thug.
THUG #1 (CONT'D)
Khairy Fahvell is broadcasting her television show now, you will find it entertaining.  Come inside and have a drink, and shortly Mr. Croule will meet you.
JASON
(to Danka)
What are they saying?
DANKA VAN DANKA
We're coming with them.
INT. ROYALE ELECTRIC -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka and Jason are escorted into the club.  We see a house band on one side and seated center stage is the ostentatious Marvellan drag queen, Khairy Fahvell.  She is seated center stage with a small camera arrangement in front of her.  We see that the show is for the benefit of the club as well as a TV audience.
Khairy talks with a guest, a distinguished looking older man.  The man is holding a parakeet.  Khairy tries to bite the parakeet as the audience laughs.
The two thugs get a good table for Danka and Jason.  They wave waitstaff over for them.
THUG #1
(to Danka in Marvellan)
You will be comfortable here.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(Marvellan)
Thank you.
(then, to Jason in English)
This is a very glamorous place to be.  That woman, that's Khairy Fahvell, she's the Regis and Kathy Lee of Marvello.  Since I was a teenager I dreamt of coming here and getting a table in front.  I wish I had something nicer to wear.
The waitress approaches.  Danka orders two drinks for them in Marvellan.
JASON
What did you order?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Drinks.  Two of them.
JASON
Is the stakeout over then?
Danka lights one of those strange square cigarettes.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Need I remind you that we are now in the hands of Jenner Croule, the most dangerous man in Marvello.  You see those guards...
(Danka indicates more thugs standing around, all of them watching the two of them)
They probably won't let us leave here alive, so I say...
(the drinks arrive, robustly, Danka takes hers and lifts it for a toast)
I say, let us get plastered and be merry, because soon we may be thrown in the Marvellan National Gorge.
INT. ROYALE ELECTRIC -- LATER
Jason watches the show.  The oddity of the Marvellan drag queen continues.
Danka is now a few sheets to the wind.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(tipsy)
All my brothers, five of them, all of them policemen, beat cops, like our father.  I'm their boss, I'm the youngest and I could legally tell them all to stand on their heads.  My father hates it, his youngest, his baby girl, being in a position higher than any of the men in this family.  They would have, listen...listen I'm trying to tell you something...they would have liked for me to have six kids of my own by this point...they think it's disgraceful.  Holidays, get-togethers, they don't like me to bring it up.  I talk about a big case we just cracked and you can see it on all of their faces...'Oh, why can't she just be quiet!'  Quiet and pregnant, that's how they want me to be!
Danka slams down her drink, making a small scene.  She manages to catch the attention of Khairy Fahvell, who points to her and begins speaking in Marvellan.
Khairy, giving a theatrically cheeky aside to her guest says something about Danka.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(enraged, speaking Marvellan)
What did you say?  Huh?  To hell with you, you tramped up hack!
The guards move on both Danka and Jason.
JASON
(to the thugs.)
I'll take her home.
THUG #2
(in a slow and careful English.)
No, sir.  It is time for Mr. Croule to talking to you.
JASON
Me, fine.  Not her, let me take her outside and put her in a cab.
THUG #2
Mr. Croule talking to you now.
Danka and Jason are escorted out of the main room of the club.  They are taken through a series of dark corridors.  They are pushed along for so long that we think that the club must be huge.
INT. JENNER CROULE'S LAIR -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka and Jason are brought into a very bare room.  All of the walls are dark, nearly black.  Only a few hanging lights provide illumination.  A desk is positioned in the center of the room.  Danka and Jason are seated in two wooden chairs just in front of the desk. 
Behind the desk, flanked on all sides by well dressed thugs as well as greasy men in work gloves is Jenner Croule.  He is a large man, rotund, with a long and pointy beard in the fashion of many military members we have seen so far.
JENNER CROULE
I wanted you to stay and enjoy the show.  Was someone unable to mind their manners?
DANKA VAN DANKA
(blearily)
Jenner Croule, you're under arrest.
JENNER CROULE
(looks to his bodyguards smuggly)
Very well.  Take me away.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I'm too drunk right now.
Danka slumps her head to the side and takes a little cat-nap.  Jenner looks to Jason sharply.
JENNER CROULE
(to Jason)
What are you doing here?
JASON
We're here to try and catch a thief.
JENNER CROULE
No, I mean, what are you doing here?  In my country?  You're not of Marvellus descent, why would you have any interest in what goes on here?
JASON
I'm just a workin' man.  I'm sent where I'm told.
JENNER CROULE
How humble of you to admit such a thing.  Would you care for a drink?
JASON
Am I going to need it?
JENNER CROULE
Perhaps.
(he pours a small glass of port)
I am not a kind man but I am not unreasonable.  Why are you and your little girlfriend making trouble in my club tonight?
JASON
(sipping drink)
We're here to catch a thief.
JENNER CROULE
(as if angered)
Then why are you here?...Why are you not out there...out there where that person stalks about in the night taking anything and everything that's not nailed down?
JASON
We're here because we thought you might know something about the thief.
Jenner SLAMS HIS GLASS TO THE GROUND, shattering it.  He is enraged by what Jason has said.
JENNER CROULE
The thief is a cancer of this country, MY country.  I may not be a model citizen but let it never be said that I did nothing for those who are less fortunate.  I control all of Marvello, everything you see is under my grasp.  And I assure you sir I hold all of my people very gently.  No woman, no child who comes and asks me for assistance will ever go hungry or without a roof.  I make my living on the stupid vice and greed of men who should know better.  I am a criminal, that is certain, but I am not a thief, and I am very angry at you right now.
JASON
Perhaps I've failed to understand you.
JENNER CROULE
That much is certain.
JASON
You take your business seriously.  This...The Thief...they're bad for your operation.
JENNER CROULE
You know nothing of my country let alone my business.  My patience is severely tried.
JASON
You want the thief caught.  I can ascertain that.  They're bad for your business, they make you look bad.  She and I are on the thief's trail, we don't plan to rest until the thief is brought to justice.
JENNER CROULE
Sir, I have a feeling that your idea of justice, and my idea of justice is something completely different.  My idea of justice includes seeing the thief kept alive over the course of a year.  And every day of that year they lose a little something.  A finger, an eye, their tongue.  Each of them left on the perch for the crows.  Piece by piece until every last bit of them is fed to the sky.  That will be justice as far as I'm concerned.
JASON
Your country is troubled.  It's not up to one person to try and fix it.
JENNER CROULE
Again, you insult me by your lack of knowledge.  You come from a big place...a big land...all of it under control of a big, old, powerful government.  You don't know what it's like over here.  Over here, all your life, you sit in a pub and a man comes in with a leaflet.  'Come to my rally', 'support my cause', 'Follow my leader who has all the answers.'  Marvello has seen a lot of wars, a lot of regimes, a lot of idealists have promised to steer this country to greatness and I don't give a damn for any of them.  I love my country because I love the people, every one of them.  The people and the soil they stand on is what makes our country great, not whatever idiot is chosen to lead us.
JASON
If you're going to kill us you might as well do it.  I appreciate the history lesson, but I won't have much use for it after I'm dead.
JENNER CROULE
There is no use for you at all, interloper.  But, perhaps you could try to do this...go back to her head office, tell them that soon...the burglaries will stop.  Slowly, the property will be returned, once I find out where it is...and that's the last they will hear of the Marvellus Thief.
JASON
You're letting us go?
JENNER CROULE
Go?  No, you are going to stay.  We are going.
Jenner snaps his fingers and the room seems to explode with activity.  The thugs swarm, grab Jenner's desk and fold it up, they take away his chair.
Abruptly, a limousine drives through the wall, which we now see was only a curtain.  The thugs and workmen yank down the cloth walls, fold the railings and throw them into two separate trucks in a matter of seconds.
Jason sits there, stunned.  In moments he and Danka are left sitting there in what appears to be a completely empty parking lot.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(stirring awake, still drunk)
Did we remember to get Khairy Fahvell's autograph?
INT. MARVELLAN INVESTIGATION OFFICES -- MORNING
Jason enters the Marvellan offices for the morning.  Danka rushes to him in an excited fashion.  They talk as they walk.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I don't want to get your hopes up too high...but we may have the thief.
JASON
Really?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes, police were dispatched to the border last night.  They seized a truck, it may have stolen material in it.  The driver was behaving suspiciously.
JASON
They were moving the stuff out of the country?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes, that was our hunch for a long time.  We thought we might catch someone trying to cross the border.  There's only so many places you can hide in Marvello.
JASON
Are they bringing them in now?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes, this could be the start of it.  This could be a brand new day for Marvello.
At the end of the office a Patrolman calls for Danka.
PATROLMAN
Van Danka!
DANKA VAN DANKA
This could be a real battle of wits.  I'm conducting the interrogation.  If it really is the thief, I imagine it could go on for hours.
JASON
A criminal mind like that...tough to crack.
DANKA VAN DANKA
That's why, I think, we should go in there...and...we could have, like, maybe.  A good cop and a bad cop-type relationship between us.  Like, I'll get up in their face, and I'll say something like,
(points her finger at Jason, does a hushing yell)
'You better tell me where all the stuff is right now!  I'm crazy, I wanna...I wanna...smash your head open and eat your...'F'-ing brains with my coffee'...And then you could say something like, 'Van Danka, Van Danka, calm down, don't hurt him like you did with that other guy you just interrogated.' And I'll say, 'Shut up!  Don't tell me what to do!  You're not my father!'  And then you'll--
PATROLMAN
Van Danka!
DANKA VAN DANKA
I'm coming, yes, fine, I'm coming.
(to Jason)
How do I look?
JASON
Like a big bad cop and a half.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(mussing up her hair a little more)
Excellent. 
Jason and Danka go the interrogation room.
INT. INTERROGATION CHAMBER -- MOMENTS LATER
The door opens and behind it we see Danka and Jason.  We hold for a moment, not sure who it is that they've arrested.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(faux bad cop voice)
So, you're the person I'm gonna chew up and spit out this morning.
Danka and Jason enter, sit and exchange hard looks with a Crazy Truck Driver.  The man in is 50-ish, grizzly and shabbily dressed.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(pouring out some coffee)
Oh, I'm sorry.  How rude of me, I totally forgot to offer you some coffee.  Would you like some coffee?
CRAZY TRUCKER
(speaking Marvellan, we read the subtitles)
Coffee...Yes, Coffee.
Danka hastily fills a paper cup with coffee.  Then, she takes the coffee pot and knocks the cup off the table.  She slams the pot to the table, spilling coffee all over her arm.  She sits that way for a moment, writhing in pain and faux-anger.
CRAZY TRUCKER (CONT'D)
(Marvellan, subtitled)
You've spilt the coffee...
DANKA VAN DANKA
Confess to me that you are the thief!
The Truck Driver only laughs.  A big silly giggle at Danka's expense.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(speaking Marvellan in forceful tones, subtitled)
You were arrested with stolen merchandise at the border!  You are known to consort with Jenner Croule!
We cut to a shot of Jason just as Danka really starts to heat up.  We cut back to her to see her string of accusations are now unsubtitled.  She appears to be pouring into a rage.
Once she finishes, the truck driver only continues to giggle.  His eyes are big, wild, he might have a couple of screws loose.
Danka makes one last furious exclamation in Marvellan.  Someone bangs on the wall of the interrogation room.
VOICE
Hey!  Keep it down in there!
JASON
What is it that was found in the truck?
DANKA VAN DANKA
(Marvellan, subtitled)
What stolen merchandise did you have in your possession?
CRAZY TRUCKER
(Marvellan, subtitled)
I don't have stolen merchandise.  I...they said I lost my forms
(giggling)
...I am old, I am bad with forms.  They said they'd make calls...They said...they said come here and talk to you...you throw coffee...This is all very...very confusing.  I show you what I have...this...
The trucker reaches down under his seat and puts a box on the table.
CRAZY TRUCKER (CONT'D)
Look...look.
The trucker opens the box.  Inside is a naughty little ceramic figurine.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Is that all there is?
CRAZY TRUCKER
Well, no.  We also have one with a man who goes....
Jason and Danka react to a lewd gesture the man makes. 
The door to the interrogation room opens.  The Patrolman from before enters.
PATROLMAN
Van Danka!
He hands Danka a few papers.
CRAZY TRUCKER
There they are...the pink forms...I lost them!
PATROLMAN
They were under his seat.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Then he's...free to go.
JASON
It would appear.
INT. MARVELLAN INVESTIGATION OFFICES -- LATER
We see Jason strolling through the offices.  He is looking for Danka.  He spots her and as he approaches we see she is being chastised by Baba Villonsky.
BABA VILLONSKY
You're a smart girl but you don't have one little ounce of horse sense.  This case should have been resolved long ago.  Do you need to go back on patrol with your brothers?  Do we need to start inspecting your shoe shine every morning again to teach you to have some dignity for yourself?
DANKA VAN DANKA
No, Baba.
BABA VILLONSKY
I am addressed as Deputy Inspector Commissioner Villonsky.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Aye, apologies, Deputy Inspector Commissioner. 
Baba walks away.  Jason approaches Danka.
JASON
What was all that about?
DANKA VAN DANKA
He's angry...about everything.  He wants this resolved...no one has any idea how to do it though...It's frustrating.  You can't walk the road if you can't see it.  The thief has kept us blind for so long.
JASON
Listen, I was thinking about taking a car.
DANKA VAN DANKA
And...going where?
JASON
I've got another hunch...I want to--
DANKA VAN DANKA
I'll come with you.
JASON
No, I don't think that would...
DANKA VAN DANKA
Can I tell you something?
JASON
Hmmm?
DANKA VAN DANKA
We should go see Croule again tonight.
JASON
What did it gain us last night?
DANKA VAN DANKA
He's starting to watch himself more carefully, but sooner or later.  He'll make a mistake.
JASON
Jenner Croule isn't what we're after.  If you were conscious last night you would have realized that.
DANKA VAN DANKA
He's involved in this...I just know it.  You weren't here this morning, but it came in from one of the informants..
JASON
What?
DANKA VAN DANKA
The only thing Marvello's been able to purchase.  Recently we requisitioned a shipment of Zeppelin parts.
JASON
So?
DANKA VAN DANKA
They're not much, rudimentary components of balloon flight.  But I have a theory, I have a theory Croule will steal them.
JASON
Why?
DANKA VAN DANKA
The area where his club is.  It's very close to a military warehouse.  So close they are almost connected. 
JASON
Why would Jenner Croule be interested in stealing military parts?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Because he's the thief!
JASON
I'll see you later today.
EXT. MARVELLAN STREETS -- DAY
Jason cruises through Marvello.  He is in one of the tiny little unmarked patrol cars.  He pulls up to Kafka's street and gets out of the car.
EXT. OUTSIDE KAFKA'S TENEMENT -- CONTINUOUS
Jason starts to make his way up to Kafka's apartment, but as he is going up he sees her coming down.
KAFKA
Are you here to arrest me for being late?  I promise I'm on my way to work right now.  I can come in whenever I like because my boss is ninety-five and likes to sleep most of the day.
JASON
We should all be so lucky.
Kafka continues walking down.  She has a bulging burlap sack over her arm.  The underside appears to be dripping with grease, it looks like something uncustomary for such an attractive woman to be lugging around.
JASON (CONT'D)
That looks heavy, should I carry it for you? 
KAFKA
(ignoring him)
If you're not here to arrest me then you must be here for some dancing lessons.  You didn't do so well last night.
JASON
I'm just in town to look for suspicious behavior.
They start to walk together.
KAFKA
And have you seen any?
JASON
Yes, plenty.
KAFKA
Why are you following me?  I don't recall inviting you anywhere with me.
JASON
I was hoping you'd let me take you to lunch.
KAFKA
Lunch?  Lunch?  We don't have lunch at this time of day in Marvello.  We have 'comsarra'.  It's a little meal, like tea.  Mostly a social occasion.
JASON
Then would you...'comsarra' with me?
KAFKA
My mother isn't here.  She's dead.
JASON
You wanted your mother to join us?
KAFKA
No.  But if a gentleman asks a lady to comsarra it's customary for the mother to be present.  To maintain propriety, you understand.
JASON
And then what would we do in our case?  With no mother to chaperone me?
KAFKA
We'd do nothing...To proceed any further would be regarded as...
JASON
Suspicious.
KAFKA
Exactly.
EXT. A MARVELLAN STREET CAFE -- DAY
Jason and Kafka sit and have comsarra.
JASON
So, tell me about yourself.
KAFKA
What is there to tell?  I am a poor girl.  I live alone.  I had a cat but I stepped on her tail too many times and she got tired of me.  That's the end of it.
JASON
I think there's more.
KAFKA
Perhaps, but tell me about yourself.
JASON
I'm an investigator, federal...I'm not from Marvello.
KAFKA
As I gathered.
JASON
I've written books about criminals.  I've studied criminals.  I catch criminals.
KAFKA
How exciting.
JASON
And I am a criminal.
KAFKA
No, you're not.
JASON
Why do you say that?
KAFKA
You haven't been caught yet.
JASON
Well, maybe I haven't met the right person.
KAFKA
What about Baba?  He's an excellent detective, he and my father served together, flying on Zeppelins.  Maybe he should be the one to catch you.
JASON
He's not my type.
KAFKA
Then what is your type?
JASON
I don't know.  No one's come close to catching me.  At least not yet.  If I had a type it would be someone that I had to catch.  If you set your sights high, and plan to make the most difficult catch you can, you'll know you've truly succeeded.  Love is a crime, you're taking something from the world.  Something you don't have to give it back.  Something that's truly yours once you've stolen it.
KAFKA
Hear you tell it, everything is stealing.  Should a policeman come look at the breath in your lungs?  Is that stolen too?
JASON
What is it you're looking to steal, Kafka Savage?
She sees an old Marvellan Military Veteran shambling down the street.
KAFKA
Anything that catches my eye.  Excuse me.
Kafka gets up and goes to talk to the old veteran.  While she's away Jason takes a moment to snoop.  He watches her and carefully opens the top of her sack.  There is a heavy piece of industrial equipment inside.  We can only guess at what it's for.
Kafka is buying something from the old man, she returns with a thin book and hands it to Jason.
KAFKA (CONT'D)
Here...a present.
Jason looks at the book: 'English/Marvellan Phrases and Verbal Dictionary of Words'
JASON
Thank you, I'm sure it will come in handy.
KAFKA
(she looks on at the vet)
The old men, they volunteer for these dangerous missions as young boys.  Eighteen, nineteen, the army puts them in Zeppelins that crash and burn.  Why?  For the foolish pride of a nation, there's no other reason.
JASON
What are you doing with all the stuff you're stealing?
KAFKA
That's hardly polite conversation for comsarra.
JASON
Then what's the next step after comsarra?
KAFKA
The next step, what game are you playing?  Do you want to be my Beaux-Shandley?
JASON
I'll have to look that up in a minute to see if I want the job, but let me say that the game I'm playing is not nearly as risky as the game you're playing.  Justice is different in this part of the world.  It's not always polite.
KAFKA
You're giving me lessons on my homeland now?
JASON
Not a lesson, a request, a request that you take your safety a little more seriously.  You may think you're a good thief.  You're not.  You're bold.  Sometimes that's all you need.  Sometimes it's more than enough, but not always.
KAFKA
Do you want a lesson in boldness?
JASON
Aren't I getting one right now?
KAFKA
Tonight...Royale Electric...Come wearing something nice.  A tie...you can dress more stylish than that I hope.
JASON
What's wrong with what I'm wearing?
KAFKA
Nothing, it just looks like what a police officer would wear.
JASON
Oh yes, and you're the master of avoiding suspicions, aren't you?
Kafka smiles.
INT. KAFKA'S OFFICE -- DAY
Kafka enters her little office.  She throws her heavy bag on her desk with a CLANG!  Sleeping, in the corner is Raskalnikov, her boss.  He could have been in the same place for days by the looks of it.
Kafka takes a small Jet/Propeller device out of her bag, plugs it in and turns it on with enormous racket.  Papers are thrown all over the office.  Her boss, starts to wake up.
BOSS
Kafka!
KAFKA
(killing noise)
Yes.
BOSS
Be quiet.
KAFKA
Yes, sorry.
Kafka takes a brief moment to study some of her blueprints on the wall.  All around her disheveled office are blueprints for zeppelins.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE ROYALE ELECTRIC -- NIGHT
Jason stands just aside from a group of well dressed party people.  He checks his watch and looks up one side of the street and down the other.  There is no sign of Kafka.  He turns around and goes back to the line and approaches a rough looking doorman.
JASON
Hey, um, I think that guy took my place in line.
The doorman only growls at Jason.  Jason walks away, looks around the streets and is perhaps thinking of leaving when just then...
A white limousine of a distinctly Marvellan make pulls up.  The limo is a pearl white with fender inlaid tires and a 1920's looking appeal to it.  The car catches the eye of absolutely everyone and patrons and staff all step aside to see who gets out.
An attendant rushes to the back door, opens it and Kafka emerges from the limousine wearing a dress that is shockingly sexy and elegant.  A hush descends over the crowd and they all seem to stand back even farther as she steps out.
As Kafka approaches, the doorman stands aside.  Jason runs up to try and get Kafka's attention and is nearly assaulted by the bouncer.
JASON (CONT'D)
Kafka!
Kafka turns, looks at him and motions to the bouncer.
KAFKA
(in Marvellan, subtitled)
He's with me.
Jason steps back to the doorman and joins her.  She reaches for his arm and links up with him.
JASON
I thought you were going to keep a low profile.
KAFKA
I never said that.  I said I was going to avoid suspicion.  Burglars go in the back doors, master thieves come as invited guests. 
Together, they enter the club.
INT. ROYALE ELECTRIC -- CONTINUOUS
Jason and Kafka enter and waitstaff immediately starts to seat Kafka, Jason seems to tag along, hardly noticed.
The two of them sit.
JASON
It's not that I don't like your style.
(he pauses, soaking up just how sexy she is)
Or your perfume for that matter...but if you are planning on committing a crime tonight.  It might be a good idea if everyone here...drag queens included, weren't trying to get a look at you right now.
KAFKA
You still don't get it, do you?
JASON
Get what?
A waiter approaches, sets champagne glasses on their table, pops the bottle and begins to pour.
KAFKA
(to waiter in Marvellan, unsubtitled)
Champagne?  We didn't order.
WAITER
(in Marvellan, unsubtitled)
Jenner Croule.
KAFKA
(English)
Thank you.
The waiter leaves, Jason looks at her with fresh urgency.
JASON
What is it that I haven't got?
KAFKA
Your glass.  Raise it for a toast.
Jason does so.
KAFKA (CONT'D)
To the finer things...may the people who have them soon find them missing.
She drinks, Jason does not.
JASON
Why is it that you're doing any of this.  You must have millions stashed by now.  Why not just quietly slip away?
KAFKA
Why do you want to know?
JASON
I want to know because...
KAFKA
Why?
JASON
Because I don't know why I steal.
KAFKA
You don't?
JASON
No, I just do it.  And when I do it...it doesn't even necessarily feel good.  It's not even that it feels right for me.  It just feels natural, it feels like what I was born to do. 
KAFKA
You've put a lot of thought into this.
JASON
Why do you do it?
KAFKA
I do it to teach them a lesson.
JASON
Who?
KAFKA
All of them.
Kafka finishes her drink, she gets up.
KAFKA (CONT'D)
Do thank Jenner Croule for the champagne when you see him.
Kafka gets up, Jason watches as she walks across the club and out of sight.
Jason sits, looking at his drink, he doesn't know how he feels about this.
INT. LADIES ROOM -- MOMENTS LATER
Kafka enters an opulent ladies room.  She goes to a stall.  Inside the stall she looks up, there is a ventilation shaft overhead.
Kafka reaches into her handbag and takes out a petite-looking grappling hook with a long silky rope.  She throws the grappling hook up, catches the grate and yanks it down.
INT. VENTILATION SHAFT -- MOMENTS LATER
Just a few moments later Kafka is climbing into the ventilation shaft.  She shuffles her way through the long slim metal corridor.
INT. ROYALE ELECTRIC -- CONTINUOUS
Jason sits, still holding his full glass of champagne.  He looks across the club and sees a group of thugs racing to the back.
EXT. THE WAREHOUSE DISTRICT -- MOMENTS LATER
A grate is kicked off the wall and falls to the ground, Kafka emerges, peeks out and looks around.  She tosses her grappling hook from one building to another, crossing over a barbed-wire fence.  She climbs into another building very close by. 
INT. THE WAREHOUSE -- CONTINUOUS
Kafka sneaks into an open window.  She pokes her head out and looks around.  We open on a tight shot of her as she looks around, and then...she notices something.
We reveal more of the warehouse.  It is strewn with crumbling and mostly destroyed zeppelins.  Kafka's eyes are fixed on the only new looking thing in the warehouse.  A stack of fresh-looking crates.
She reaches into her purse and pulls out one of her blueprints.  She looks at it, as if checking something, and then puts it away.
Kafka slides down her long rope to the ground.  She tip toes across the bare floor, very quietly, and then she stops.
We see Kafka's eyes, a little nervous.  She looks into the corners of the room.  There is debris everywhere, dark corners, a million places for someone to be hiding.  The mood suddenly shifts, this is not the fast paced gaiety that we saw in Kafka's previous capers.  Something is wrong.
Cautious, scared, Kafka moves toward the crates.  We see the markings on the box are in untranslated Marvellan.  A subtitle tells us the crates contain 'Platinum Oscillator Relays'  She leans down, preparing to open the crate...
And A HAND GRABS HER.
One of Jenner Croule's henchman appears to have come from out of nowhere.  He has a tight hold of her wrist and raises his other hand to reveal a BLACKJACK.  He WHAPS Kafka hard across the head, knocking her to the ground.  Then, as Kafka sluggishly tries to get off the ground she looks around.  Jenner's thugs emerge from every direction.
INT. ROYALE ELECTRIC -- CONTINUOUS
Jason is now very worried.  Two of Jenner's thugs cross the room again.  This time they are followed by Jenner Croule himself.  Jason gets up from his seat and follows them.
JASON
(calling after)
Croule!...Croule!
Jason is either ignored or unheard, he continues to follow.
JASON (CONT'D)
Croule!
Incensed, Jason grabs a drink from another patron's table and TOSSES IT ACROSS THE ROOM AT CROULE.  Croule turns, his eyes thin with anger and gives a nodding assent to the two thugs.
The two thugs rush to grab Jason.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE ROYALE ELECTRIC -- CONTINUOUS
Outside, Danka is sitting in her car.  We see she is reading a BONDAGE MAGAZINE while she is on stakeout.
As she starts to look back down at the pages with women in black studded leather outfits the front doors of the club fly open and the two thugs throw Jason out into the street.
Danka watches as the two guards turn, start to head back inside, but Jason won't seem to allow it.  He gets up, grabs one of them, who is now joined by the surly bouncer from before and tries to start a fight.
The three of them kick Jason's ass.
Danka gets out of the car.
One of the thugs grabs Jason and smashes his head into the headlight of a car, he collapses to the ground and starts to get back up as we see Danka taking something out of the hatch of her little car.
The guards go about kicking Jason's ass when from out of frame a BULLWHIP CRACKS and wraps around one of the guard's necks.  The thug is pulled to the ground.
We pull back.  Danka Van Danka, the mannered and proper police detective is wearing a leather bondage hat in a military officer's style and wielding a nasty looking bullwhip.
The guards move on Danka, she flails her whip wildly, knocking one of them unconscious.  Jason enters the fray, together they even up the odds and beat the guards up.
INT. THE WAREHOUSE -- CONTINUOUS
It's been only moments since we've seen Kafka but she looks as if she's been brutally beaten.  Her face is bruised and bloodied.  The goons stand around her in a circle, mocking her, she lays on the ground, either unwilling or unable to get up.
Jenner Croule enters, he sees her and yells to his employees.
JENNER CROULE
(untranslated Marvellan)
String her up!
The goons tie her hands and throw a rope over one of the rafters.  Kafka is yanked to her feet with both hands bound together above her head.  Jenner approaches her, sizing her up with utter disdain.
JENNER CROULE (CONT'D)
(English)
So, you're the Marvellus thief.
A thug's cell phone rings, he answers it, listens briefly and then passes it to Croule.
JENNER CROULE (CONT'D)
(to Kafka)
It wasn't jewels that caught you but a crate filled with spare parts.  You really are determined to steal everything of any value from my people aren't you?  Treasure these first moments of your suffering, because they will be the last pleasant thing you remember.
(takes phone)
Yes?
INT. SECURITY STATION OF CLUB -- CONTINUOUS
We see the Studio Royale's security control room.  Black and white monitors show Danka and Jason raging through the Royale Electric.
TECHNICIAN
(subtitled Marvellan)
We have a problem.
INT. ROYALE ELECTRIC -- CONTINUOUS
Danka is storming the club, she is center stage.  Her blouse is slightly open, she slings her bullwhip around the desk that Khairy Fahvell was using and pulls it from the stage and crashes it to the floor.  She lifts her badge over her head and yells at the club.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(cracking her whip, holding up her badge)
Anyone who wants to be put in handcuffs feel free to stick around!
Seated nearby is the Marvellan Playboy from earlier.  He is seated with a group of revelers, all of whom look frightened. 
MARVELLAN PLAYBOY
(subtitled Marvellan)
I had no idea this was that kind of club!  Let's get out of here!
INT. THE WAREHOUSE -- CONTINUOUS
Jenner turns off the heavy cell phone and passes it back to his thug.  He takes one last look at his thugs and then barks orders.
The thugs scramble, just as before, the walls are pulled down, the ceiling removed.  Two trucks and an opulent town car speed through the boxes.  As we reveal more of the warehouse we see it is all a sham, just one of Jenner's little tricks.
A thug lets Kafka drop to the ground.
JENNER CROULE
(to thug)
Put her in the back.
We see the trunk of the town car pop open and Kafka is thrown inside.
The thugs are nearly done collecting everything.  Jason and Danka burst through the back doors of the club...only to find nothing but taillights speeding away.
DANKA VAN DANKA
How could this happen?
JASON
Baba...
DANKA VAN DANKA
What about him...?
INT. BABA VILLONSKY'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT
Baba Villonsky is asleep in a modest apartment, beside him is his wife of many years.  A Raucous banging at the door awakens him.
BABA VILLONSKY
(getting up)
Hold on...Hold on...
Baba crosses and looks through the peep hole.  He realizes who it is, breathes a heavy sigh, opens the door and slumps away.
BABA VILLONSKY (CONT'D)
I can only assume that things haven't gone well.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Baba, what's going on here?  He's convinced that Miss Savage from Provincial Finance is the Thief.
BABA VILLONSKY
That's because he is a master detective.  And because he is correct.
Danka looks between the two men, dumbfounded.
DANKA VAN DANKA
What is going on here?
BABA VILLONSKY
(looking at Jason, angered)
You didn't catch her, that's what's going on here...You couldn't catch her and you couldn't convince her to leave the country. 
JASON
Jenner Croule has taken her.
BABA VILLONSKY
(heavy sigh)
That's unfortunate.
Jason, enraged, grabs Baba's bathrobe and shakes him.
JASON
No, old man, it's a little more than unfortunate, and I think you could have prevented this...all of this...at any time...before you even brought me to your crummy country.
BABA VILLONSKY
I could have.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Baba...
JASON
Tell me what is going on...Tell me...
BABA VILLONSKY
I didn't want it to be a Marvellan.  Oaths were involved, you see, I assume you can understand.  You come from a dishonest country but you at least know of the concept of honesty, I hope.  I have an obligation to Kafka, a bond...it doesn't translate...a bond...an oath...what is the...
DANKA VAN DANKA
'Roshku.'
BABA VILLONSKY
Yes, Marvellans have a better word for everything.  'Roshku'.  I have Roshku with Commanding Master Sergeant Elam Savage.  It's very important, a life promise...I think you might translate it.  I don't intend to break my Roshku for someone like you. 
DANKA VAN DANKA
Baba, if you don't tell us now, this will all be handled eventually.  Reports, papers...
BABA VILLONSKY
No, it won't, these things have a way of going away.
JASON
How are you going to say that the most wanted woman in your country just got away?
BABA VILLONSKY
I'm sure Jenner Croule will take care of it.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Jason!
Jason is INFURIATED!  He almost strikes Baba but Danka holds him back.
Jason takes a deep breath, steps away.
JASON
Okay, you don't want to break your vow.  Okay, but there's still things you can tell me...this Sergeant Savage...
BABA VILLONSKY
Commanding Sergeant Savage.
JASON
(deducing)
You were in the military together...Kafka told me.  Elam Savage, your friend...Kafka is his daughter...and...the uprising, the problems with your country.  Commanding Sergeant Savage was injured, and his daughter, began to steal...
DANKA VAN DANKA
(not understanding)
Why...?  Jason...
JASON
She wanted to steal because...
We cut away to a black and white scene.  Kafka, much younger, tends to her dying father...we cut between the flashback and Jason's interrogation.
JASON (CONT'D)
It started out of necessity...she stole to feed the family...he probably didn't want her to do it...but she did.  And as things got worse, his health failing, she stole more and more things.
We see Kafka stealing pills from a pharmacist.
JASON (CONT'D)
And as she got older, you got her a job, working for the government who she thought killed her father.  She worked in finances, where she stole.  She stole from the country.  And then, when that wasn't enough, she stole from the rich...and then when that wasn't enough, she stole whatever was left.
BABA VILLONSKY
Go home.
JASON
Where is she?
BABA VILLONSKY
She's in the belly of the beast.  She's in 'the gut'.
JASON
Tell me where, exactly.
BABA VILLONSKY
I don't know where, exactly.  I'm not a criminal, like you.  It's likely that Jenner would take her there.  It's likely that's where he would get down to business with her.  There are men down there who could be persuaded to torture a woman at length if given the right motivation. 
JASON
How could you let this happen to someone you swore an oath to?  You promised her father you'd protect her.
BABA VILLONSKY
I couldn't stop her.  I asked her to.  I couldn't stop her.
JASON
You're a policeman.
BABA VILLONSKY
If it was an outsider it wouldn't be so bad.  I couldn't bare Van Danka doing it.  My detective, no, I would be disgraced.  The man was like a brother to me, more than that, you can't understand...You have no idea what a war is like for a small country.  What it does to small people...I owe Commanding Sergeant Savage my life and everything else for what he did for me...I would have shot my own heart if Kafka had asked me to.  You...do you think we know nothing in Marvello...Jason Smith...cop and master criminal?  You could have helped her get out of the country...None of this worked out...Nothing can be done now.
JASON
You could try to save her.
BABA VILLONSKY
No, Jenner Croule, his influence is too deep.  He has a personal vendetta, the man will be president before I retire.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Baba, this is betrayal...
Jason exits, Danka looks on.
BABA VILLONSKY
The laws of justice are not written in any book.  Justice is in the heart of the mob.  Now leave me alone, I'm an old man, fit for little else but death.
EXT. THE GUT -- NIGHT
Jason and Danka pull up to a side of the city that we haven't seen before.  Everything around us looks a good deal older than what we've seen before.  Danka pulls the car to a stop.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's too small.
JASON
What is?
DANKA VAN DANKA
The streets.  The streets in the gut are too small to drive on.  Too many people...it would be conspicuous.
EXT. THE GUT -- CONTINUOUS
Jason and Danka step out of the car.
JASON
Why is this place called 'The Gut'
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's not called the gut, that's just the best way to translate it.  Marvellan and English isn't always that easy to match up.  You're meaning...maybe something closer like...'The Belly of the Beast."
JASON
That's where we're going?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes.  This is where she'll be.
Jason and Danka get a good look around.  The area of the country is in extreme poverty.  Everything we've seen up until now was shabby, but walking the streets it always looked as if the people were friendly and happy.  The Marvellan Gut looks like some kind of super-slum.  We see a group of men huddled around a trash can cooking some kind of animal.  Further on we see a prostitute, attractive enough.  Jason observes her and as we see her turn we can see she is missing an arm.  Jason quickly turns his gaze back.
JASON
When will we know when we've found what we're looking for?
DANKA VAN DANKA
When we see that.
Danka motions up the street as Jason spots it...Jenner Croule's opulent town car from before.  It is parked in front of a drab and crumbling tenement building.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(taking out an enormous walkie-talkie)
I'm calling for back up.
JASON
(grabs her hand, stops her)
No, don't.  At least not yet.
DANKA VAN DANKA
You can't dissuade me on this.  All things aside, this is a national priority.
JASON
Yes, and I'll bring her out.
DANKA VAN DANKA
You can't stand up to that lot by yourself.
JASON
I'm going to have to...give me ten minutes, if we're not out by then...call whoever you want.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Jason, why?
JASON
Just promise me.
He looks at her earnestly and turns to go.  Danka is left standing by herself as bums mill around her.
EXT. THE GUT TENEMENT -- MOMENTS LATER
Jason walks up to the building and looks up the stairs.  He peers up, doesn't see any guards, and heads in.
EXT. THE GUT -- CONTINUOUS
Danka hears something on her walkie talkie.
OPERATOR VOICE
Van Danka...Van Danka come in.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Rear Lieutenant Van Danka, here.
OPERATOR VOICE
Is Investigator Smith with you?
DANKA VAN DANKA
(pauses, not sure what to say)
He is, he's just stepped away for a moment.
OPERATOR VOICE
Bring him back to main central headquarters.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Why?
OPERATOR VOICE
He's in a lot of trouble.  He's going to be sent home.  He's dangerous, watch yourself.  He might be in kahootz with the thief.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(A beat, Danka considers this)
Aye...Out.
Danka looks around, opens her coat and unlatches a pistol she has holstered there.  She checks it and then makes her way into the tenement after Jason.
INT. TORTURE CHAMBER -- CONTINUOUS
We cut to the top floor of the building.  The room is large and mostly bare.  Jenner Croule sits in an enormous reclining chair with beer and chips on the arms.  He looks as if he's settled in to watch a football game.  All around him are thugs we've seen earlier.
In the center of the room Danka is tied to a large metal slab.  Beside her is the Master Torturer, he is playing a phonograph record of an annoying pop song.
MASTER TORTURER
There...How do you like that?
KAFKA
It's fine...
MASTER TORTURER
Well, let's see how well you like it when I play it...FIVE MORE TIMES!
He starts to put the needle back on the edge of the record as Jenner stops him.
JENNER CROULE
What is all this?  Why do you keep wasting our time like this?
MASTER TORTURER
I'm an expert in the ways of torture, sir, a master in my craft.  My skills are envied and celebrated and feared all over the world.
JENNER CROULE
Then why aren't you doing your job worth a damn?
MASTER TORTURER
You can't just rush into the torturing, willy-nilly, hacking off this and burning off that.  A true master of torture starts slow, feathers, tickling, annoying songs, after several days of this--
JENNER CROULE
Several days!
MASTER TORTURER
Yes, after several days she will become very annoyed, and then...
JENNER CROULE
I want her screaming...not annoyed, and I want her screaming now.
MASTER TORTURER
The Chinese use drops of water...drop, drop, drop...over and over...eventually, madness is induced and--
JENNER CROULE
You're making me mad, and if you don't get down to business I will drop you out of one of these windows.  NOW GET TO WORK!
Flustered, the Master Torturer goes to a rolling cabinet against a wall and pulls it out.  He opens the cabinet one way, then folds it up.  The cabinet unfolds again and again from an almost impossibly small size.  Once it is entirely opened we see a cornucopia of torture instruments inside.
JENNER CROULE (CONT'D)
That's more like it.
INT. THE LANDING OUTSIDE -- CONTINUOUS
Jason is creeping up the stairs, looking around, not sure where he's going when he sees an orange suited thug standing guard at one of the doors at the top of the stairs.
Jason sorts through his pockets, he can't seem to find anything useful, he pulls out a slim volume, the Marvellan phrasebook that Kafka gave him earlier.
INT. THE TOP OF THE LANDING -- MOMENTS LATER
The guard takes notice of Jason walking up the stares.  Jason holds the book close, blocking his face.
JASON
(reading from the book in Marvellan, subtitled)
I am a man who likes to take animals to the library make them bite children who laugh at my---
THUG GUARD
I don't underst--
Jason looms closer, drops the book and socks the guard hard, knocking him out.
JASON
Understand that?
Jason looks over the guards unconscious body for just a moment.  He sees a pistol jammed into his waistband, he reaches down and takes it.
Jason continues to sneak towards the door, being very quiet.  Below him, Danka starts to come up the stares.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(yelling)
Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith come down.
Jason shushes her.
JASON
Be quiet!
DANKA VAN DANKA
You're coming with me...this is over...we're going to do this by the book.
Danka approaches the landing, sees Jason has a gun, she pulls hers.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
Put the gun down, you shouldn't have that.
JASON
What are you doing?
DANKA VAN DANKA
You're going home...We're starting from the beginning, we're going to do things by the book and we're...
JASON
Danka be--
The door opens, a guard pokes his head out and sees the two of them.  The guard yells to alert Jenner and slams the door closed.
Jason kicks the door open and storms into the torture chamber.
INT. TORTURE CHAMBER -- CONTINUOUS
Jason bursts in, followed sheepishly by Danka.  We get a quick glimpse of Kafka.  She is still tied to the metal slab, looking mostly unharmed.
JENNER CROULE
Get them!
Several of the guards produce guns.  Jason takes cover behind one of the Master Torturer's tables.  Danka hurries along and does the same.
Jason and Danka shoot back.  He looks over and sees Kafka, he is determined to get to her.
JASON
You've got your mind set to arrest me now for some reason?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Apparently, it will have to wait until later.
Jason leaps up, goes to Kafka, he spins her metal slab around and starts to untie her.  Bullets ricochet off the other side of the metal slab and make an enormous racket.
JASON
How's the burglary going?
Kafka, annoyed, tears her bonds loose as soon as Jason gets her free.  One of Jenner's thugs sneaks around the side of the table to try and get a shot at them.  Kafka grabs one of the fiendish looking torture knives and throws it at him.
Kafka and Jason exchanges a brief look before she hurries off into the next room.
Jason runs after her, Danka, still pinned down jumps from her hiding spot and chases after the two of them.
One of Jenner's thugs grabs her just before she can enter the other room.  Jason looks back, sees her, goes to help and punches the guard out, knocks him back and locks the door on him.  Danka drops her gun in the process.
INT. ROOM ADJOINING TORTURE CHAMBER -- CONTINUOUS
Danka and Jason look at each other.  Jenner Croule's army is held off for just a second.  They both look to the window where there is a fire escape.  Kafka is already rushing up it, leaving the two of them behind.
EXT. FIRE ESCAPE, GUT TENEMENT BUILDING -- NIGHT
Danka and Jason hurry out.  Kafka is nearly at the top of the roof.  As they emerge they see the streets below are swarming with Marvellan police.
Danka looks down at the police and yells orders at them.
DANKA VAN DANKA
We nearly have the thief!  Jenner Croule is inside!  Lock down the whole building!
Police begin to pour through the little building below.  Danka and Jason continue to hurry up the fire escape.
INT. ROOM ADJOINING TORTURE CHAMBER -- CONTINUOUS
Jenner Croule surveys the scene with a couple of his guards.
HENCHMAN
(Marvellan, subtitled)
What do we do, boss?
JENNER CROULE
You, you to go to jail.  I start writing checks.
EXT. GUT TENEMENT ROOF -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka and Jason reach the roof.  They both look at Kafka, she is standing at the edge of the roof, looking down, perhaps thinking of jumping.
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's over, Adjunct Savage.
Danka paces forward carefully.  Kafka stands with her back toward her.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
Come with me.  This will all be sorted out as it should be.
KAFKA
No it won't...Nothing is as it should be.
DANKA VAN DANKA
We both work at Main Central, Kafka.  We both see how wrong things are.  This isn't the way to fix them.  I know we've never gotten along, Adjunct Savage, Kafka...but I feel I know you.  We both want to work hard, we both want good to come, but in a system like this...you work and you work and between the paperwork and the people who don't care or don't know what you do it seems like you're never doing anything at all.  We can make change though, together, together we will bring about a change.  Come with me, Kafka, as a sister...I embrace you.
Danka puts her hand on Kafka's shoulder in an earnest gesture. 
KAFKA
Danka,
(turning, looking at her very earnestly)
Everyone knows you like to be tied up and spanked by Tedry Fluxvell in traffic administration.
SUPER SNAP!  YOU GO GIRL!  Kafka knocks the hand away from her then turns and runs the length of the roof, sprinting.  She runs and jumps off the edge of the building.  We watch as she tumbles through the air falling, falling, before...finally, grabbing hold of a balcony.
We see a tight shot of Kafka.  She is beaten, bloodied and exhausted.  She grunts and strains her way up, climbs through a window, and escapes.
EXT. THE GUT TENEMENT -- NIGHT
It is later.  Police are still milling about in the streets.  There seems to be no one to arrest though.  Danka and Jason talk to one another, Jason is somewhat calm but Danka seems severely agitated.
JASON
Do you mind bringing me up to speed on what's happened?  I thought I was on top of this.
DANKA VAN DANKA
You're going back home.  They've done something...apparently you're going to jail.
JASON
Yes.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I almost had the thief.
JASON
So did I.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I saw her everyday for years...I never would have guessed.
ARK STRUTHERS
Van Danka!
Ark Struthers, Luka Collings and Jenner Croule all approach the two of them.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Sir!
ARK STRUTHERS
Do you mind telling me why you woke up half the police force just to interrupt Mr. Croule's poker night?
DANKA VAN DANKA
I...No, the thief...
LUKA COLLINGS
The Thief hasn't been caught by your division and I think it's unlikely they ever will be.  You're not fit to be an inspector.  You can go back to patrol with your brothers and write parking tickets from now on.  You're not fit to trail the thief...you're embarrassed yourself and by comparison embarrassed us.
ARK STRUTHERS
We expect to see you in uniform at muster at six tomorrow.
Ark, Luka and Jenner turn and start to walk away.  Tears start to swell in Danka's eyes, she tears her badge loose from her belt and throws it at them.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(crying, screaming, subtitled Marvellan)
I'll see you in hell before you see me lining up for some morning muster!  I quit!  Do you hear me!  I'd rather starve than slave for you corrupt politicians who pretend to be lawmen!
The three of them look at her, smirk and turn away.
EXT. CASTLE MARVELLO -- NIGHT
With an astonishing arrogance Kafka storms through the Marvellan streets towards the great Castle Marvello.  She approaches one of the outer columns, her brow still furrowed, her expression still very cross and begins climbing.
EXT. CASTLE MARVELLO (COURTYARD) -- CONTINUOUS
Kafka continues storming the castle.  We see one or two guards around, nothing she can't handle.  Kafka mutters under her breath in Marvellan as she walks along.
INT. THE KING'S BEDCHAMBER -- MOMENTS LATER
Kafka's grappling hook flies into frame, snagging the edge of a window.  Seconds later Kafka crawls into the window.
The King's Bedchamber is the very height of opulence, everywhere are archaic trappings, swords, shields, plaques, hunting paraphernalia, a great grizzly bear serves as a rug.
Kafka flips on a light, brashly.
The King is startled from his sleep.  He wears an old fashioned night cap.  He looks like a kindly old man, he is disoriented and perhaps slightly senile.
KAFKA
(more to self)
They won't learn until it's all gone, until it's all gone.  They won't know I'm done til--
Kafka takes a laundry bag from the adjoining bathroom and begins filling it with the King's personal possessions.
The King looks on, disoriented and alarmed.
KAFKA (CONT'D)
He asks, 'Why do you do it?  Why do you do it?'  
Kafka turns and looks at the King.
KAFKA (CONT'D)
I do it because right or wrong someone has to stand up and take a stand.  Someone has to drive the boat.  It certainly isn't you at the wheel, is it?  You don't even know what planet you're on much less what country you're in charge of.
Kafka sees a particularly attractively framed photograph of the royal family and swipes it.  She goes about thieving as she talks to the King.
KAFKA (CONT'D)
We were both born into our occupations, weren't we 'Your Beloved Highness' I was born into this when I had to steal medicine from the local grocery to care for my father.  Born into it when I had to steal bread from the baker so we could eat.  I was born into it when I had to take what was rightfully ours from a government that left us destitute and helpless.  Marvello will never be a great country unless you pay homage to those who made it great.
Surreptitiously, The King reaches into a table by his bedside...
KAFKA (CONT'D)
You did this to your people, not me, you did this...
We see what The King is reaching for.  It is AN OLD FASHIONED PISTOL, Kafka continues prowling the room, continuing her monologue, unaware.
KAFKA (CONT'D)
But your problems will soon be over, won't they, old man?  Once you're dead though this country will most likely fall apart.  It'll...
Kafka reaches up and pulls down a shield from the wall.  She turns just as The King FIRES THE PISTOl at her, almost completely unaware of what is happening Kafka turns and catches the bullet with the brightly polished shield she is holding.  The bullet ricochets wildly, reflects off another shield against the wall and strikes The King in the head.
Tight on Kafka, horrified, she's killed The Beloved King.
INT. DANKA'S APARTMENT -- MORNING
We open on a tight shot of a Marvellan newscaster.  We see a long scene of the Newscaster reading in untranslated Marvellan.  A graphic beside his head scrolls through a series of images.  We see Kafka, we see The Beloved King.  The newscast continues to play out as we pull farther and farther back from the TV.  As we get farther away from the TV we see Danka's apartment is pretty wrecked.  The whole place is messy and unkempt.
The last thing we see on TV is the newscaster introducing the President.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
(speaking English on television)
With the identity of the thief established it's only a matter of time before they are brought to justice and all of the stolen possessions returned.  Today is a momentous day in Marvellan history, once Our Beloved King is buried...
Towards the end of the soundbite there is a knock at the door.  Danka gets up to answer it.  She opens the door to reveal Jason.
Jason gets a look at her.  His shock mirrors our own, Danka's hair is an absolute mess.  She wears an unflattering grey sweatsuit with chocolate ice cream stains on the front.  This is the first time we've seen her looking anything other than prim and well-made.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Oh...
She turns away, Jason follows her inside and shuts the door.
JASON
I thought I should say goodbye.
DANKA VAN DANKA
I thought you were already gone.
Danka returns to the couch, flops down and pulls a large stuffed animal to her chest, she continues watching the news.
JASON
They couldn't get a plane for me until today.
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's been a week, I thought you would have left by now.
JASON
No planes coming in...I'm catching a ride with somebody bringing party supplies.  I had no idea your king's funeral would be this huge...It's all anyone's talking about.
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's a big deal.  Marvellan bureaucracy is a nebulous system.  There are so many roots of the old system.  Now that the king is dead...Hopefully we can get things in order.
JASON
What are you going to do?  Are you going to get yourself in order?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Doesn't matter...
JASON
You're just going to sit around eating ice cream and reading your bondage magazines?
Jason draws Danka's attention to the coffee table.  There on top is a racy looking magazine with a couple in full bondage gear on the cover.  Danka grabs the magazine, shoves it into the couch and rolls over.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Shut up.
She farts.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
Shut up about that too.  Shut up about everything, you ruined my life.
JASON
What's that?
Danka rolls over slightly, on the television is an enormous white marble sarcophagus.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Our Beloved King's Crossium.
JASON
What?
DANKA VAN DANKA
It's what he's going to ride into the next life with.  He's put in there with his family heirlooms, swords, all the stuff that Kafka was going to steal but left after she shot him.
JASON
You believe she shot him?
DANKA VAN DANKA
I didn't believe she was the thief and I was wrong about that.  So what do I know?
JASON
You know you're the best cop in this whole postage stamp sized country.
DANKA VAN DANKA
How flattering of you...
JASON
And you know this isn't over.
DANKA VAN DANKA
What?
JASON
If there's something left to steal, she's going to steal it.  That was the whole point.  She's hoarding all this stuff somewhere.  You couldn't catch her before because you had no idea how deep it went.  She's planning something, something big.  She's got all of the stuff...she's got it here in Marvello.  Acres of stolen property, and something else too...something she said...Her father, I don't know what...I just have a feeling about this...
DANKA VAN DANKA
Jason, like you will be shortly, Kafka Savage is very very far away from Marvello and nothing will convince me otherwise.
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- MORNING
We open on a tight shot of a thick read curtain.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE (O.S.)
Okay, now when they say it...President Talleyrand Hoke I want you to--
The curtain is pulled back, we see the president, dressed in a suit and a strange sash, looking around dismayed.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE (CONT'D)
No, no, no...I said, pull it when I say it, not when I'm saying it.  Try again.
STAGEHAND
Sorry...
The curtain sweeps back down.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE (O.S.)
Ladies and Gentleman, your beloved president, here to usher in a new generation for Marvello and it's people I give you...President Talleyrand Hoke...
Nothing happens.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE (CONT'D)
Pull the curtain!
We pull back farther.  The Marvellan square, formerly filled with protesters is now filled with smiling people, they crowd the stage area to get a look at the action.
Among the workmen we see Kafka, her hair is styled a little differently and she wears coveralls.  She struts across the stage and looks up at a stagehand.
KAFKA
Hey!
(in subtitled Marvellan)
Will you do me a favor up there?
STAGEHAND
(Marvellan, subtitled)
Yeah, okay.
KAFKA
(Marvellan, subtitled)
When I give you the signal will you hit that little red button for me?
The stagehand looks around, up in the rafters there is a button attached to a long cable.
STAGEHAND
This one?
KAFKA
Yeah, do it when I give you the signal, okay?
INT. DANKA'S APARTMENT -- MORNING
Jason and Danka are continuing to chat and watch the ceremony developing on the news.
JASON
She's a technical genius.  Machines...I guess she got it from her father.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Her father was a famous Zeppelin Commanding Sergeant.  He worked on experimental designs, she told me about it once.  I didn't really listen.
JASON
Why is your country obsessed with Zeppelins?
DANKA VAN DANKA
The Zeppelin is the most efficient and sturdy method of transport there is.  If it wasn't for the Hindenburg disaster they'd still be in use all over the world.  Marvellan ingenuity can find the best in any situation.
JASON
She's going to steal the sarcophagus.
DANKA VAN DANKA
You're being absurd.
JASON
Am I?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Do you know what she would need to do that?
JASON
What?
DANKA VAN DANKA
An army, practically.  To get that enormous thing out of the center of the city...take it...where...where would you even take such a thing?
JASON
Where has she been taking everything she's stolen?
DANKA VAN DANKA
That's a good question.
JASON
She worked in the financial offices.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes, she was in charge of routing....
(Danka stops, as if stunned, she gets up)
She was in charge of processing receipts both in and out of all government offices...including military bases...Her father's military base...where...
JASON
Do you think she could have stolen a military base?
DANKA VAN DANKA
With paperwork backed up like it is at main central.  She could have stolen an entire military base just by throwing away a few files...
Danka goes to a book shelve and pulls down an enormous hard backed book.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
We used to have as many as ten zeppelin hangar bases...we're down to just two now.
JASON
Which one was her father's?
DANKA VAN DANKA
It could have been any of them.  He worked on top secret designs, top level stuff...very classified.
JASON
Like what?
Danka opens her book, points to a picture that we don't see.  Jason looks at it, they're eyes meet, they understand. 
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- AFTERNOON
Practically the entire population of Marvello seems to have turned out for the event.  A military procession of elaborately uniformed men stands guard around the sarcophagus.
President Hoke approaches the podium.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
Our Beloved King was a man who loved this country as best he could.  Although he had long ago become afflicted with mild senility, let none of us forget, that he was descended from a noble family, who, long ago, paid a fee to the hordes who conquered this land, in exchange for not being killed.  I remember he used to look at me, look deep in my eyes and say...'pudding.' I still think about that... 'Pudding'...yes, indeed, pudding.  Maybe it was the only thing he could say...but I think I know what was behind that...'pudding'.  He wanted some pudding!  Pudding for all of us!  Everywhere!  Everyone...pudding!
EXT. OUTSIDE DANKA'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka, looking much better now, steps out of her apartment with Jason.  People are crowding the streets for the ceremony, many of them holding portraits of The Beloved King.
Both Danka and Jason get in her little car.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Danka looks around, the streets are flooded with people, so much so that it doesn't look like she'll get near the center of the city.
DANKA VAN DANKA
This won't work.
JASON
Kafka's not going to say that.
Danka, annoyed, starts the car, drives up onto the sidewalk and lays down the horn, pushing people aside.
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- DAY
As the president's speech continues, we hear the roar of a semi engine firing up.
A heavy duty truck roars from behind the stage, demolishing it.  Knocking the president and spectators aside.  It slams into the back of the sarcophagus and snags it.
We see a tight shot of Kafka in the truck, she works the convoluted controls on the truck and starts to move forward again.
All around, the crowd is going nuts.
Kafka smashes through the stage again.  She looks up at the stagehand.
KAFKA
(Marvellan, subtitled)
Hit that button!
The stagehand nods, dumbfounded, and does as he was told.  From among the lighting equipment a huge contraption falls on top of the sarcophagus.
Kafka nods, gives a thumbs up, and guns it!
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Danka and Jason emerge into the rioting crowd.  They see the truck in the distance and take off in hot pursuit.  There's nearly an onslaught of collision as dozens of police cars jump into the throng to give chase.
DANKA VAN DANKA
What is she doing?
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- CONTINUOUS
The truck speeds down a mostly open countryside.  The phalanx of police cars converge in a chase.
Danka and Jason speed about, There is so much noise on the CB radio Danka can barely hear.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(listening, translating)
This is...This is...
JASON
What?
DANKA VAN DANKA
Everyone, everyone, they're all coming...the army...the police...they've even mobilized our air force.
JASON
Your air force?
DANKA VAN DANKA
They're inbound now.
EXT. A LAKE -- MOMENTS LATER
We see an aircraft carrier roughly the size of a ferryboat floating in a small lake.  This is the HMS Gregor Samsa.
EXT. THE FLIGHT DECK OF GREGOR SAMSA -- CONTINUOUS
Flight operations are in full swing.  A team of military men launch four of the bicycle/zeppelins we saw earlier.  The men pedal them off the flight deck and into the sky.
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- CONTINUOUS
Back to the chase.  Again, Kafka has the same furious, possessed expression.  Police cars are starting to surround her on all sides, she takes only the most perfunctory of glances at them before grabbing a FUNNY GOLD BUDDHA LIKE STATUE, obviously very expensive and dropping it on the gas pedal.
Then, she removes a long scarf from her bag and ties the wheel in place.
Kafka exits the cab of the truck from the back window.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Danka and Jason, now moving their way to the lead, watch as Kafka emerges from the back of the cab.
A hail of gunfire erupts from all around them, other policemen are shooting at Kafka.
Jason looks around, worried.
DANKA VAN DANKA
What is she doing?
EXT. THE ROOF OF THE TRUCK -- CONTINUOUS
Kafka walks out onto the large bulky apparatus that dropped from the stage ceiling to the sarcophagus, she begins making adjustments, she dodges gunfire and slowly unfurls what looks like a steering wheel and a control panel.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Jason and Danka watch Kafka.
JASON
Get me close.
Danka looks at him, uncertain.
EXT. NEAR THE CLIFFS -- CONTINUOUS
Further up the road, near the Marvellan border and a huge gorge, military personnel are setting up a roadblock.
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- CONTINUOUS
Back to the chase.  Danka floors it, pushing her little car for all it's worth.  They look up and watch as Kafka goes about making adjustments to her apparatus.
We watch in a series of quick cuts as Danka fights her way to the back left corner of the truck.
INT. DANKA'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Slowly, Jason pops the latch on his door, he opens it just a bit, the suicide doors suck an enormous current into the car.
JASON
Get me close...I can get on!
DANKA VAN DANKA
Jason, this isn't in any of the procedure manuals.
EXT. THE ROOF OF THE TRUCK -- CONTINUOUS
Kafka has raised what looks like two large nacelles on both sides of the truck.
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- CONTINUOUS
Very carefully, Jason opens his door as the little car comes closer to the back of the truck.  Jason inches out, preparing to jump, when suddenly...
An oncoming car nearly collides with Danka's car, Danka mashes the brake pedal, causing chaos behind her.  Jason is abruptly tossed forward, nearly loses his balance and almost spills out onto the road.
JASON
(angry, climbing back in)
If you're the best you get to write your own procedures manual, Van Danka, now get me behind that truck!
Danka, invigorated, stomps the gas harder than ever before.  She makes some adjustment in the strange Marvellan car and manages to squeeze even more juice out of it.  The car climbs further and further up the road.  Again, Jason prepares to jump to the back of the truck.
EXT. THE ROOF OF THE TRUCK -- CONTINUOUS
The apparatus is now fully assembled on the roof of the truck.  Kafka begins inflating two small zeppelin balloons on both sides of the nacelles.
EXT. NEAR THE CLIFFS -- CONTINUOUS
Just beyond Kafka's sight, the military blockade means to hold her back.  Overhead, just within sight are the four Zeppelin teams launched from the aircraft carrier.
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- CONTINUOUS
Jason nears closer, he prepares to jump a second time, when...
A car screeches into Danka.  Everything happens in a split second, Jason jumps...we don't see if he makes it.  Danka stomps the brake, her car collides, we don't see if she's badly injured.  More Marvellan police cars speed down the road, the blockade...Kafka working the controls.
Jason...Hanging with two hands and one foot on the back of the truck.  He tries to pull himself up and lets his shoe touch the ground.  It is almost disintegrated.  He looks at his bare toes and hoists himself up.
Danka, now at a stop, her windshield cracked, the bizarre motor of the Marvellan car is exposed.  She looks up and sees that the van that she collided with is filled with Radical Protesters, all of whom appear to be naked.
EXT. THE ROOF OF THE TRUCK -- CONTINUOUS
Kafka, looking ahead at the roadblock goes to an explosive device at the front of the truck, yanks something, adjusts something...we see a string of tiny explosions around the truck.  Pop!-Pop!-Pop!-Pop!, the bolts holding the sarcophagus to the truck bed explode one after the other.
Kafka returns to the control panel, takes a large lever and throws it, meaning to take off.
Nothing happens, something's wrong, for the first time we see a hint of panic in Kafka's eyes.  She looks around, we see a quick pan of the bolts, all of them have been destroyed, freeing her to take off with the cargo, all but one, one bolt is stopping her from taking off.
Hurriedly, she rushes to a tool kit and grabs a Marvellan wrench.  The roadblock is closer than ever, and beyond that the great Marvellan gorge which means she will plummet to her death with the truck.  She runs to the spot where the stubborn bolt refused to fire....only to find...Jason, looking back at her, pointing the Marvellan gangster's gun at her.
The danger rushes closer.
Kafka looks at him, she raises the wrench in a feeble attempt at a threat.
Jason cocks the hammer of his gun, takes aim at her.
The blockade....CLOSER!
Jason swings his aim around fires at the bolt.  Just then, for the first time, the entire craft is revealed.  Kafka is using the prototype for her father's Zeppelin design.  It's still bound to the Earth though.
Kafka returns to the controls, grips a lever and pulls back hard as...
The entire truck SMASHES THROUGH THE BLOCKADE!  Jason is seemingly thrown off.  The truck tears through metal, screeches, explodes and tumbles off the road into the gorge.
The Marvellan military starts to react.  They look only to see...
Rising like the Phoenix, Kafka is aloft in a huge triple ballooned zeppelin craft.  The propellers spin her aloft as she flies away with the enormous sarcophagus as her prize.
EXT. THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- MOMENTS LATER
The Zeppelin soars easily over Marvello.  Kafka works the controls and starts to circle back over the main city.  Wearily, Jason gets up and joins her.  Neither of them speak at first.
EXT. HIGH ABOVE MARVELLO -- CONTINUOUS
We see our thieves observe Marvello from a bird's eye view.  The city has more of a quaint and charming look than ever from this vantage point.
But before either of them can enjoy it we see someone is following them.  The four bicycle zeppelins are gaining quickly on Kafka.
EXT. THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- CONTINUOUS
JASON
Those...Are those?...Can they hurt us?
KAFKA
Yes, they have guns, many of them.  And we are made of flammable gas.
EXT. THE STREETS BELOW -- CONTINUOUS
Citizens of Marvello look up, point, a zeppelin dogfight is about to begin overhead.
EXT. HIGH ABOVE MARVELLO -- CONTINUOUS
We see one of the zeppelin crews.  The lead bicycler carefully adjusts his flight goggles, throws a couple of switches and then hoists AN ENORMOUS GATTLING GUN up from the front of his handlebars.
The balloonman fires the gattling gun by pedaling.
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- CONTINUOUS
As the battle rages overhead Danka is getting the situation under control on the ground.  Danka is yelling at the naked hippie protesters, commanding them to get out of the van.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(in Marvellan, subtitled.)
Come on!  Come on!  Come on!
Naked hippies, many of whom we saw before at the protests are spilling out.  As Danka motions for them to come out we see two of them talking semi-discreetly in Marvellan.
Danka overhears what they are saying and turns to look at them, reacting sharply. 
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
What bomb?
EXT. THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- MOMENTS LATER
A couple of stray bullets ricochet through the operating platform.  Kafka looks up at the balloon overhead.
KAFKA
My father designed the armor plating...I installed most of it.
Jason looks at their pursuers.
EXT. HIGH ABOVE MARVELLO -- CONTINUOUS
The four zeppelins break into an attack formation, preparing to box Kafka's airship in.
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- MOMENTS LATER
Danka is in a heated argument with Kopie Little, one of the protesters we remember from earlier.
KOPIE LITTLE
(In Marvellan, we read the subtitles)
That wealth doesn't belong to one dead man in his grave.  It belongs to the people, when the bomb goes off the people will get what's theirs!
DANKA VAN DANKA
(English)
When..that..bomb..goes..off....!
We see the enormity of the dilemma weigh on Danka, she begins striking the naked Kopie Little and kicks him to the ground.  She grabs her oversized cellular phone and begins dialing.
EXT. HIGH ABOVE MARVELLO -- MOMENTS LATER
The Squad has almost mounted their attack formation.  The same crazy gunner fires, bullets ricochet through the craft.  None of them seem to pierce the armor though...yet.
EXT. THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- CONTINUOUS
A close up of Jason's pocket.  We see his cell phone ringing with weird Marvellan script on the front.
Jason doesn't notice it at first, he walks around the craft, looking at their situation.
JASON
Maybe we should think about dropping this rock we're carrying.
KAFKA
I'd sooner drop you.
JASON
Kafka, you don't have to do this...there's no one left to hurt.  Stealing a dead king and his hundreds of pounds of gold won't fix your country...they're doing it down there...them...right now.  You have to fix yourself...!
More shots ring out.  Kafka eyes his pocket.
KAFKA
Your phone.
Jason looks at it, beeps it on and goes to the edge of the platform, all of the zeppelins are lethally close.
JASON
Danka, it's a good thing you called.  I'm ready to dictate my epitaph.
(listening...)
What?  Where?
EXT. MARVELLAN OPEN ROADS -- CONTINUOUS
Danka, surrounded by naked hippies, looks at the zeppelins and screams into her phone.
DANKA VAN DANKA
ON THE BOTTOM OF THE KINGS CROSSIUM!  THERE'S A BOMB!  IT'S GOING TO GO OFF ANY MINUTE!
EXT. THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- CONTINUOUS
We see a tight shot on Jason's reaction, then a long pan down to the bottom of the sarcophagus, there on the bottom  is an elaborate home made bomb, plastique and tangles of wire cover the bottom of the funeral crossium.
JASON
(Approaches Kafka, throws cell phone away)
We've got even more problems now.
Abruptly, Kafka grabs Jason's gun from him and starts firing at one of the zeppelins.  She unloads the entire clip, we see a gas leak, then WHUMPFH!  The whole thing goes up in a beautiful blue flame. .
EXT. THE STREETS BELOW -- CONTINUOUS
People point as they watch the crew parachute to safety.
EXT. THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- CONTINUOUS
Kafka inspects the pistol, empty, she tosses it aside.
JASON
There's a bomb on the bottom of the tomb.  We've got to get it off.
KAFKA
A bomb?
JASON
It was a little gift from your revolutionary friends.
Jason loosens his tie, climbs over the side of the craft.
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- MOMENTS LATER
President Hoke gets a sign from a man holding a pair of binoculars.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
(doesn't know what to do)
Um....Um...
JENNER CROULE
If you shoot them dead now the king will fall...and it will kill many of my people.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
So, we shouldn't shoot now?
JENNER CROULE
You are an idiot.
BABA VILLONSKY
Make them wait...wait until they're over the river.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
(talking on walkie-talkie)
Wait until they're over the river...Over Cocteau River.
EXT. HIGH ABOVE MARVELLO -- CONTINUOUS
A Zeppelin crew pedals after Kafka and Jason.  The Leader listens in on a radio headset.
GOLD FIRST OFFICER
How much longer?
GOLD LEADER
(relaying Hoke's message)
Until they're over the river, one minute. 
EXT. BENEATH THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- CONTINUOUS
Jason makes his way below.  He hangs upside down by various  straps and rigging holding the sarcophagus to the craft.  He looks at the bomb and watches the strange numbers tick by.
Jason takes out his wallet, takes out something and lets his wallet fall, he takes out a pair of toenail clippers from his pocket.
We see the pamphlet he's taken out: 'Federal Bureau Bomb Dismantling Instruction Guide.'
As the craft speeds along Jason holds his clippers and struggles to read the tiny instructions.  The pamphlet is filled with surprisingly cute cartoon illustrations.
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- CONTINUOUS
Baba Villonsky stands next to the president, they are waiting for the Savage Zeppelin to be over the river.
BABA VILLONSKY
There, they're close enough now.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
Are they, I can't tell.  Are you sure?  I don't want to make decisions like this...I...
Jenner Croule snatches the walkie-talkie away from him.
JENNER CROULE
(Yelling Marvellan, subtitled)
FIRE! 
EXT. HIGH ABOVE MARVELLO -- CONTINUOUS
Each of the three remaining zeppelin pilots begin to take aim, they look through scopes at how bad the damage on the Savage Zeppelin is.  We didn't notice it before, but many small fires have broken out.  They all have itchy trigger figures, one more direct rear assault will destroy the craft.
EXT. BENEATH THE SAVAGE ZEPPELIN -- CONTINUOUS
Jason, squinting, tries to leaf through the manual.  But he can't even seem to find the English instructions.
Breathlessly, the countdown continues.  All of the players look on as Jason recklessly RIPS THE BOMB FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE SHIP AND THROWS IT!
The bomb explodes in mid air between the three ships and Kafka's craft.  The three other ships are tossed back, rendered immobile, two of them explode and the other begins deflating and sinks towards the ground.
EXT. THE MARVELLO CITY SQUARE -- CONTINUOUS
President Hoke looks on as Kafka and Jason fly out of sight.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
Oh, dear.  It would appear I'm the worst president in history.
BABA VILLONSKY
Yes.
JENNER CROULE
I shall make a note to have you killed.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
Thank you.
EXT. OPEN PLAINS ABOVE MARVELLO -- DAY
Kafka and Jason soar in the Zeppelin, it has taken damage but is still handling very well.  They cruise over the open plains, saying nothing, Kafka guides the craft to a large hill, banks around it and operates her radio transmitter.  An enormous set of steel doors open, large enough for the Zeppelin to dock.  Kafka guides the Zeppelin inside.
INT. SECRET MARVELLAN MILITARY BASE -- CONTINUOUS
The Zeppelin comes in for a landing.  The space inside is huge, but cramped, stolen possessions from Kafka's crimes are everywhere.
The enormous craft comes to a halt, Kafka kills the propellers and gets out.
JASON
(calling after her)
What are you going to do now?
KAFKA
Nothing.
JASON
You're lucky, you know that.
KAFKA
What, that I got away?
JASON
No, we always get away.  You're lucky.  You've done it, you've stolen everything there is to steal.  Now you can quit.
KAFKA
I don't know what I'm going to do though.
JASON
You can come away with me.
KAFKA
No...What I'm going to do...do about Marvello.
JASON
What do you mean?
KAFKA
I always said...I always said that I would steal all of this to teach them a lesson.  At first it was art works, things of value.  And I always figured, notes I left, things like that...they would get the hint.  Take care of your poor, take care of each other.  I thought they would get the point.  I moved on...taking more...I always thought: Someday they'll listen to me.
JASON
I think you've got their attention now.
Kafka turns and looks at him.
INT. HALL OUTSIDE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE -- DAY
A group of people, all of the military and police officials we saw earlier, plus Jenner Croule are standing around demanding to speak with the president.  A secretary tries to bar them from entering.
SECRETARY
I'm sorry...I'm sorry...He told me he's busy right now.  He said you have to give him a minute.
The crowd is upset.  They look among each other, getting angrier.  Danka comes in, pushing her way to the front, her enormous cell phone in her hand.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Let me in, I'm going to see him!
INT. THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
At the far end of the office, President Hoke is hanging half out of his window, preparing to jump.  Danka bursts in followed by his secretary and a few others.
SECRETARY
(to president)
I tried to stop her Mr. President, she won't listen!
Danka sees the President hanging half out of the window.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
I'm jumping to my death right now, can't this wait until later?
Danka steps forward, hands him the phone.
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE (CONT'D)
Hello?...What?
INT. SECRET MARVELLAN MILITARY BASE -- MOMENTS LATER
JASON
I said she's prepared to return absolutely everything, right now, but there are some conditions.
INT. THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE -- MOMENTS LATER
PRESIDENT TALLEYRAND HOKE
(listening)
Uh huh...Uh huh...Got it...I, okay...
He hands the phone back to Danka.
DANKA VAN DANKA
(into phone)
Is this the last time I'm going to talk to you?
JASON
You're the best cop I ever knew.
DANKA VAN DANKA
And you're the worst.
JASON
Better to be at one end or the other than in the middle.  At least people remember you.
DANKA VAN DANKA
Aye, Jason. 
Danka turns off the phone, looks at the crowd.  Everyone is giving her rapt attention.
DANKA VAN DANKA (CONT'D)
(in Marvellan, subtitled)
Gentlemen!  Follow me!
The crowd follows Danka out of the office, everyone leaves except for the President, who is still struggling to get out of the window.  He slips and falls.
INT. SECRET MARVELLAN MILITARY BASE -- LATER
We open up from inside the base.  The doors are kicked open and Marvellan SWAT forces converge.  They are followed closely by all of the important people we saw earlier.  Luka Collings, Baba, Ark Struthers, they all move about and inspect the stolen booty.
We see what's been taken...Rare and moderately pornographic artworks, animals from the zoo, Luka's prized bumper sticker collection.  A cornucopia of unique Marvellan treasures.
INT. SECRET MARVELLAN MILITARY BASE -- LATER
It is perhaps days later, much of the stuff has been cleared out.  Many of the lazy Marvellan Security Guards we saw earlier are sitting around, they sit at the same desks watching the same little televisions as they did in the first scene at the museum. 
President Hoke has joined them now, apparently he survived his fall from the window, he is bruised, his arm is in a sling, but otherwise he looks fine.
The program on television shows a news report featuring Jenner Croule.  Croule appears to be campaigning for elected office.  We see him giving a speech to a crowd, many of the people hold signs that say 'Jenner for President' in both Marvellan and English.  President Hoke looks a little worried.
MARVELLAN POLICEMAN
Chief Inspector!
DANKA VAN DANKA
Yes.
The Marvellan Policeman approaches the President and Danka.  He hands them a framed photograph, we only see the back of it.
MARVELLAN POLICEMAN
Chief Inspector, everything has been accounted for, except for this.
Danka takes the photo, she and the president exchange a glance.
INT. MARVELLAN MILITARY RETIREMENT HOME -- DAY
We open on a tight shot of the photograph, revealing it is Kafka's father, Commanding Sergeant Elam Savage.  The photo is mounted on the wall in a place of prominence.  We pull back father to reveal a retirement home for Zeppelin pilots.  The atmosphere appears quaint and upbeat.  Several old men with long pointy bears sit in chairs swapping stories and smoking old fashioned-looking pipes.  As we pull back farther we get a look of an old Zeppelin Veteran sitting in a chair and pointing to an oil painting of Elam Savage.  Sitting around his chair are six or seven young boys and girls.  Most of them are in youth group uniforms, a couple hold toy Zeppelins.
MARVELLAN VETERAN
(Marvellan, subtitled)
Yes...yes, lad.  Of course I knew Sergeant Savage, I was privileged to serve on the Airship Becket with him.  I remember one day, very distinctly, I was preparing the main rudder with a special device and Sergeant Savage asked us all to gather around...
We pan farther back, out of the home, losing our Veteran but still hearing his story. 
MARVELLAN VETERAN (CONT'D)
He looks at us all and he says, 'Men, today we are going on a very special, a very secret operation, so I need all of you to be on your tip top performance.' I knew that I had better make sure the Becket was at her top speed that day, because I certainly didn't want to let Sergeant Savage down...
INT. A CUSTOMS OFFICE IN A TROPICAL SETTING -- DAY
We find our setting is a Carribean-esque country.  Tiki torches and other tropical trappings are strung about as a line of garishly dressed tourists wait to go through customs.
We focus on a Customs Officer, a couple approaches her window and the man puts a passport through the window.
CUSTOMS OFFICER
Honeymoon?
We pull back, Kafka and Jason are embracing, looking too in love to give the woman their full attention.
JASON
Yes ma'am.
She doesn't bother to inspect the documents, she smiles and passes them back.
CUSTOMS OFFICER
Have a lovely time.
KAFKA
Thank you.
EXT. A TROPICAL SETTING -- DAY
Kafka and Jason step out and look around.
KAFKA
Was it really necessary to register us as husband and wife?
JASON
It's important to keep a low profile.
KAFKA
Seems a little presumptuous, though.  We haven't even had our first date yet.
JASON
I guess you probably won't want the ring I got you then.
KAFKA
A ring...how sudden.
Jason approaches her with a ring, a local bumps him and he drops it, he immediately kneels and scoops it up.
JASON
Well it's all part of the husband and wife routine.
KAFKA
I see, well I guess if we're going to do this, we better try to avoid suspicion.
JASON
Of course.
He slips the ring on her finger, stands.
KAFKA
(inspecting the ring)
The lady you stole this from had exquisite taste.
JASON
All part of the act, a beautiful ring, a beautiful woman.
KAFKA
Perhaps you should kiss me now.  Just in case anyone's watching.
JASON
Yes, Perhaps.
KAFKA
Just to avoid suspicion.
JASON
Of course. 
Jason and Kafka embrace in a long kiss.  The camera pans up as tourists mill about the little island paradise.
FADE OUT:
THE END