THE MEXICAN CONNECTION

by

Francisco Silva

©2011.PolarBearProductions.
FADE IN:

The T.J skyline fills the screen, the massive MEXICAN FLAG fluttering as a mighty gust of wind flows through the exterior. WE PAN DOWN, the city seemingly disappears under a rising curtain of metal, a fence. Not just any fence, THE FENCE. 

EXT. THE U.S/MEXICO BORDER - DAY

CAMERA CONTINUES PANNING DOWN, halting at two Federal Agents, DAWES and BIXBY. Both are Caucasian, wearing white collar shirts, and have sunglasses on; they seem to be staring at something.

DAWES
Well... now I have seen everything.

BIXBY
It's fucking mess.

DAWES
No shit. But there's nothing to go on from here.

BIXBY
Just wait till the CSI guys work their magic.

DAWES
You know this job used to be easier.

BIXBY
How so?

DAWES
Shoot a guy in the head. Or light a guy on fire in an oil drum. It was pretty straight forward. But this?

A SERIES OF CLOSE-UPS reveals the subject of their conversation; the mutilated corpse of a drug smuggler. His shirt is torn from the chest down to the belly, unveiling deep gashes on the body, indicating ENTRY WOUNDS. Flies coat the remains, their signature buzz adding to the ambience. 

BIXBY
It was just another drug deal gone to shit. What else?

DAWES
(pointing to corpse)
Look --

Next to the body, a BOX. They approach it.

BIXBY
I bet its weed.

DAWES
Or money. Does it matter? We still got to write a report. Give me your knife.

Bixby pulls out a knife from his pocket and hands it to Dawes. Dawes kneels down, and cuts the tape sealing the box.

INT. INSIDE THE BOX

First black. Then a shimmer of light, the blade cutting through. Then light pours in, Dawes looking within. He retracts the knife and reaches inside with the other. His hand latches onto something, and pulls it out. 

EXT. BORDER - SAME

What Dawes has in his grasp isn’t what he expected to find; caramel-colored, a signature taste, and bottled. It’s a SODA. Not just any, but Mexican brand COCA COLA, the only kind that gives classic coke a run for its money. Bixby stands in awe.

BIXBY
The guy died over soda?

DAWES
Looks that way.

Dawes opens the bottle, hearing the hiss of air escaping. 

BIXBY
Hey! You can't do that! That's evidence.

DAWES
Look, do you want one or not?

BIXBY
Sure. Hand me one. 
Dawes reaches back inside and grabs another coke. Bixby gets the bottle and opens it, opening his mouth and drinking away.

DAWES
I guess we have ourselves a case of miscommunication here.

BIXBY
(removes bottle from mouth, wipes lips)
How?

DAWES
I guess they asked for coke, only to get the wrong kind of coke. Well not the kind you snort. 

BIXBY
So where'd the real cocaine go?

Dawes stands, looking off into the distance, seemingly locked deep in thought. Then FREEZE FRAME.

RUN MAIN TITLES. 

CUT TO:

EXT. HERITAGE ROAD

PALM TREES swing past us and a cruising speed of thirty-five or so. We TILT DOWN, to reveal rather not a tropical setting but a suburban one. 

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD

This is a scene that is seen two often; sets of houses, all of them two-story with either a single car or two parked in the driveway. SOUND: DING-DONG!

CAMERA PANS RIGHT to a particular HOUSE.

EXT. MIKE'S HOUSE 

A UPS GUY waits at the front door, holding a BIG PACKAGE. The door opens, revealing MIKE; young, Caucasian, and very excited. 

UPS GUY
You Mike?
MIKE
Yep.

UPS GUY
Here you go sir. 

He tosses the box over to Mike. He catches it, and seems to get even giddier over the delivery.

MIKE
Yes! Yes! It's finally here!

UPS
I'm glad you found your package is up to spec and I hope you enjoy it whatever it is, but -
(pulls out clipboard)
I need you to sign for it.

Mike puts the box aside and turns back to the UPS GUY. He starts signing away...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. MIKE'S HOUSE

The package seems to be the center of Mike's attention as he continues to stare at it. 

He runs over to his computer and logs into face book. ONSCREEN, he slides the arrow over to 'what’s on your mind' and TYPES:

JUST GOT MY MEXICAN COKE!

Pressing enter, the phrase becomes official and immediately there are two likes and a comment. 

Mike re-focuses his attention back to the box. Suddenly, a BUZZING... He's caught off guard by its sudden emergence, but manages to trace its origin, deep from within his pocket - his phone; someone's calling. He answers it.

MIKE
(into phone)
Hello?

VOICE
It came?

MIKE
(smiles)
What up J.C! You read my post?!

INT. J.C'S HOUSE - SAME

J.C, short for Juan Carlos is a lanky Hispanic with glasses. He manages a telephone conversation while paying World of Warcraft. 

J.C
Everybody who has you as a friend read it. 

MIKE
(over phone)
Well come ‘on man, you have to admit it's pretty cool.

J.C
You imported rip-off soda from Mexico. It’s something I can get down at Neighbors for a dollar fifty! It’s not a big deal for me.

INT. MIKE'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Mike travels with the phone while walking over to the kitchen. He opens a drawer and pulls out a box cutter. 

MIKE
Well I live in Orange County. You live down in San Ysidro.
(beat)
You get to see a third world country from across a fence on a daily basis. 

J.C
(over phone)
Once again, not a big deal...

MIKE
(giving up)
Okay. 
(checking box cutter)
I'll talk to you later?

J.C 
Sounds good.

MIKE
Bye.

He hangs up. Mike's first sign of dissatisfaction comes with the discovery of a blunt blade on the box cutter. He puts it atop the counter and goes back to looking for a suitable blade, the CAMERA DRIFTING AWAY, towards the box, a sinister air surrounding it...

EXT. T.J CARTEL COMPOUND - SAME

It’s a mansion, utterly beautiful and large in terms of square feet; a realtor's wet dream. Two SUITS stand guard at the front wielding AK-47s. SUPER:

SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO

INT. STUDY - SAME

EL JEFE, the man in charge enjoys the moment with a cigar. Alongside him is his UNDERBOSS. THEIR DIALOGUE IS IN SPANISH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH.

JEFE
These Sinaloa fucks don't know how to run a good scheme.

UNDERBOSS
What do you mean?

JEFE
Two more cops found with their heads missing. 

UNDERBOSS
So what?

JEFE
If you want to survive, you got to let the other side win once in a while.

UNDERBOSS
But this isn’t the NYPD we're talking here. This is Mexico, and who gives a shit about cops down here?

JEFE
True. But then again we got most of them on the payroll.

He laughs. 

The Underbosses' cellular rings - he answers.

UNDERBOSS
(into phone)
Hello?
(listens)
What?

JEFE
What happened?

UNDERBOSS
(to Jefe)
We have a problem.

JEFE
No shit. What is it?

UNDERBOSS
Looks like our man at the border was found dead.

JEFE
How could he? We gave him the shipment. 

UNDERBOSS
Well apparently we sent the wrong package.

JEFE
Uuhhggghhhh
(buries head in his hands)
Oh God.

UNDERBOSS
What?

JEFE
Do you know how stupid we look now? We're going to be the laughing stock of the drug trade!

UNDERBOSS
As long as nobody tries to squeeze us, I'm fine with that.
EXT. GARAGE - COMPOUND - SAME

A hired-hand finishes polishing a shiny, factory-fresh BMW. Suddenly, it EXPLODES, ERUPTING IN FLAMES - THE SIGNATURE OF A CAR BOMB! The hired hand fortunately escapes getting char-boiled, hastily crossing himself. 

INT. MIKE'S - SAME

Having finally found a sharp enough knife, Mike opens the package. He puts the knife aside and looks inside. Another sign of displeasure - this time more distraught, as if unexpected. He reaches inside and pulls out a square covered in layers of duct tape. Mike then stares back at the camera, effectively breaking the FOURTH WALL...

MIKE
(to audience)
What the hell is this?

EXT. CARTEL COMPOUND

Now there are four guards. 

INT. STUDY

Jefe tries to focus his anguish using a stress ball, and it seems to work. The Underboss comes through the door, holding a paper in his hand.

UNDERBOSS
Jefe, we found it.

JEFE
Where is it?

The Underboss hands him the paper. On it, a detailed map and the target, circled with a sharpie.

JEFE
When can we get it?

UNDERBOSS
That's the problem. We can't. It’s too risky.

Jefe gets up and CHUCKS THE BALL at the GLASS DOOR! It cracks.
JEFE
Don't tell me what I can't do! 

UNDERBOSS
Well we can always bring a third party.

JEFE
Who can we hire who's up there?

UNDERBOSS
There is someone.

JEFE
Who?

UNDERBOSS
The Russian.

SOUND: A CELLO.

INT. UPSCALE RESTURANT - LATER

VLADIMIR PANKOVICH plays the cello with the greatest intensity; his emotion engages the audiences as they balance watching him play music while drinking expensive wine and caviar. 

EXT. PARKING LOT - LATER

Vlad stands next to a car, on the phone with someone - Jefe to be exact. 

VLAD
(with a thick Russian accent)
Yes. What is it you want me to get?

JEFE
(over the phone: in English)
It’s in a box. Standard shipping size. You might want to get this down. 

Vlad flips out a mini-notebook and starts jotting down notes.

VLAD
Anything else I should know. 

JEFE
The less you know the better. Just do it. 

VLAD
Okay. 
(beat)
But I want the money now.

JEFE
We're wiring it to your account as we speak.

VLAD
Okay. 
(in Russian)
Goodbye.

He hangs up. Silently, and very non-chillingly he walks towards his car. 

INT. CAR - SAME

Once inside, he turns on the onboard GPS and uploads the co-ordinates. The screen replies:

TRAVELING TIME: 45 MINS.

Vlad then plugs the keys into the ignition, the car coming alive. 

He switches the gear and presses on the gas pedal.

EXT. PARKING LOT

The car accelerates faster, and then goes at whirlwind speed...

TRANSITION:

INT. MIKE'S - SAME

Mike is pacing back and forth, still concerned over his discovery. Then his phone RINGS. He answers. 

MIKE
(into phone)
Hello?
J.C
(over phone)
How's your coke?

MIKE
I didn't get it.

J.C
What? 

MIKE
I think I got the wrong package.

J.C
Fucking UPS. They don’t get shit right these days. That’s what happens when you outsource jobs to other –

MIKE
Whatever. I called them but they check this was the right address and everything. 

J.C
So what did you get?

MIKE
A bunch of squares in duct tape. 

INT. J.C'S - SAME

J.C cocks an eyebrow, curious to his response.

J.C
Duct tape squares?

MIKE
(over phone)
Yeah, I've been thinking about opening one.

J.C
Yeah, I think there isn’t any harm in doing that.

INT. MIKE'S - CONTINUOUS

Mike grabs the knife from earlier and cuts along the side of one of the squares. Just as he jerks the knife out, a fine, WHITE POWDER jets out. It hits Mike in the face, and immediately his actions become more and more frantic, as if he's just taken cocaine. 

MIKE
(into phone)
Something came out of it.

J.C
So what was it?

MIKE
Some kind of powder...
(rubs his nose)
It’s white.

Beat. Nothing but hiss comes out of the phone's receiver. 

INT. J.C'S - SAME

The silence continues... J.C's hand quivers, stricken by something. He turns back to the phone.

J.C
(into phone)
Mike, what the hell did you get yourself into?

MIKE
(over phone)
Why? Am I in trouble or something?

J.C
You sure got Mexican coke alright. 

MIKE
No, this isn't soda!

J.C
NO SHIT YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST GOT A SHIPMENT OF COCAINE! 
(with more intensity)
THE OTHER KIND OF COKE!

INT. MIKE'S - CONTINUOUS

CAMERA TIGHTENS IN ON MIKE'S FACE, his innocence, his naivety, all gone in one swoop. REVERSING ANGLE, he can only stare at the shipment. 
MIKE
Oooh shit. 
(over phone, ton changes, becomes more frantic)
What do I do, man? Seriously, I'm screwed. Somebody's going to be looking for this stuff!

INT. VLAD'S CAR - SOMEWHERE ON THE FREEWAY - SAME

Vlad literally brings Mike's words to life, steering the car toward the desired location.

INT. MIKE'S - CONTINUOUS

Mike paces even faster, still thinking what he's to do. He mounts a foot by the box and trips, landing on his knee. Writhing in pain, he strikes the box, causes the rest of the squares to spill out, as well as a small, black box with a blinking LED. Curious, he picks it up. From first glance it appears pretty low-tech, but then he notices the mini antenna peering from the top; it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to infer this is a tracking device. 

Almost immediately, Mike gets up, the device in his grasp. He rounds the table, bound for the door. His face is placid, an expression of his now cool demeanor. And then he exits out the door. 

EXT. BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

Mike throws the tracking device over the fence, disappearing deep into the neighbor's domain. He then returns back inside.

INT. THE HOUSE - SAME

He enters the living room, and puts back the cubes back inside the box. Mike then leaves for the staircase. Upstairs, he goes into his room, grabs a backpack, opens up his drawer and grabs as much clothing as possible to fill the inside of the bag. Next is the bathroom, grabbing his toothbrush, some Colgate, and his shaving kit. Grabbing his wallet, he proceeds down the stairs, backpack hanging from his sleeve, gets the box and goes out the door. 

INT. MIKE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

TIGHT ON a set of keys, being forced into the ignition. Eventually Mikes makes it in, turning the car on. 

EXT. DRIVEWAY - SAME

And the car departs for the road. Just as leaves, Vlad's car arrives at the scene. 

INT. VLAD'S CAR

He checks on the GPS screen, synchronized on the device's location. Quietly, he turns his head towards the house, changes gears, and turns off the car. He then exits.

INT. HOUSE - SAME

THROUGH THE WINDOW, we can see Vlad walk up, looking inside to see any obstacles if any. He then walks back for the car.

EXT. CAR - MOMENTS LATER

Vlad pops the trunk, looking down at something - his cello. He appears to reach for it, but suddenly changes course, and opts for the M-16 on the side. This is a fully automatic, military grade version of the rifle, something that's not exactly legal. He jams a magazine clip into it and cocks the rifle. 

IN SLOW MOTION HE QUIETLY WALKS OFF, SEEMINGLY TOWARDS THE HOUSE. BUT SUDDENLY HE VEERS OFF, ONCE AGAIN OFF COURSE - HE'S HEADED FOR THE NEIGHBOR'S HOME. 

INT. NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

The neighbor, JAKE is having a kick-back with a few of his paintball buddies, all on the couch, playing Modern Warfare Two online. 

BUDDY #1
Thank God the play station network is back up.

JAKE
I know, right?

BUDDY #2
Y'know life doesn't revolve around video games and chicks.

JAKE
It does when you're bored.

BUDDY #1
True that.

SOUND: THE DOORBELL. 

JAKE
(to Buddy #2)
Hey, since you're not doing anything presently why don't you get the door?

BUDDY #2
How 'bout no?

JAKE
How 'bout GET THE DAM DOOR! I'M BUSY HERE!

BUDDY #2
(reluctantly)
Fine, fine... Asshole.

Buddy #2 gets up, bound for the door. With more space available on the couch, Jake slides away from his other friend, getting comfortable. 

JAKE
(to Buddy #2)
I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you a twenty-piece over at Mickey-Dees!

Now at the foot of the door, the friend opens it, only have his SKULL OPENED NEXT WITH A GUNSHOT AT POINT-BLANK RANGE! The corpse stumbles over. 

Smoke billows from the barrel of Vlad's M16, approaching the rest of the group. 

The others jump at the first sight of blood, and react accordingly.

BUDDY #1
What the fuck?

Vlad aims at Buddy #1 and squeezes. The friend seems to dance in the volley of automatic fire, falling over, his shirt bleeding red as blood begins to seep out of the bullet holes. Vlad turns right. 

Jake is all alone, dropping the controller, panting heavily. Instead of going to work on the man, Vlad lowers his guard.

VLAD
Where is it?

JAKE
Where's what?

VLAD
You received a package, yes?

JAKE
No! I don't know what you're talking about!

VLAD
I don't like liars. 

JAKE
What makes you think I'm lying?!

VLAD
People are people, comrade.

JAKE
The fuck does that supposed to mean?! 

VLAD
I choose not to be very emotional. Gets me, how you say, through the day. You can too.

JAKE
Sorry, but I just my friends get squeezed! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUSPOSED TO FEEL!

Vlad just stares, then turns away, catching glimpse of a BLINKING LIGHT, emanating from the backyard. He exits through the screen door to investigate.

EXT. BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

It only takes a few steps and here Vlad finds the tacking device. Something then strikes him, as told by his expression. He turns towards the FENCE; he figures out that this was the wrong house after all. 

Behind him, Jake sneaks up behind, holding a handgun. He takes fire. 

VLAD
(in Russian)
Shit!

Fortunately for Vlad the bullet only grazed his left arm. He rolls over, takes aim and FIRES. Jake is caught in the bullet stream, and falls over. 

Vlad gets up, dusts himself off and walks for the door. He's careful not to step on the sweeping wave of blood spreading across the concrete. 

EXT. FRONT OF THE HOUSE

Vlad walks out of the house, down the walkway, towards the right house. 

INT. MIKE'S HOUSE 

The door is KICKED IN, the barrel of the M16 peeking out first. Then he looks inside. 

After a quick sweep of the place, he determines it’s empty. Nothing. But then a silver lining - something on the table. He approaches.

A CELLPHONE lies on the table - MIKE'S CELLPHONE! Vlad grabs it, and goes to history. Here he finds a text addressed to J.C:

HEADIN DOWN 2 YSIDRO

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. MIKE'S CAR - IN MOTION - NIGHT - LATER 

Three crushed cans of monster take residence in the passenger’s seat. Mike is at the wheel, battling fatigue as he lets out a yawn. The box is in the backseat, as seen from the rear-view mirror. SWABS of ORANGE LIGHT swipe across the car and into the interior, Mike looking up at the source. Lamp posts seem to light up the way for him, as he turns the wheel.

EXT. THE 805 HEADING SOUTH

Mike's car changes lanes, getting closer and closer to something off-screen that’s giving off a purple aura. 

WE PAN LEFT, revealing the T.J SKYLINE, glistening brightly, casting the eerie purple glow and holds dearly to the definition of light pollution.

CUT TO:

EXT. INTERSECTION BETWEEN COTTONWOOD ROAD AND SAN YSIDRO BLVD - LATER

The car banks left, going past the Seven Eleven and past a car. It stops before a big fence, Mike rolling down the window and spots a house in particular. 

He presses on the gasoline and presses on...

EXT. W HALL AVENUE

... Until finally parking the car near a lamp post. As Mike walks past the lamp post, CAMERA PANS UP, the hazy orange filling the screen...

SOUND: KNOCKING ON DOOR. 

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. J.C'S HOUSE - MOMENT LATER

It’s a large, two-story home, painted white with black rooftops. Mike is at the doorstep, alone and in the dark. The light above suddenly lights up, indicating someone is home.

Suddenly the door opens, and their stands J.C, rubbing his glasses and yawning.

J.C
(groggy)
Yeah?
MIKE
It's me man. 

J.C finishes rubbing his eyes and realizes who he's talking with. Just as he's about to completely shut the door, Mike forces himself in.

INT. J.C'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

J.C retreats for the hallway but Mike grabs him from the neck, and throws him toward the couch. J.C lands comfortably, almost falling asleep on the spot. Mike prevents the action by tossing water at his face. 

MIKE
Now - relax! 

J.C
(wiping water from his glasses)
Jesus, can't you give me a break?

MIKE
(assertive tone, almost yelling)
Listen - I brought the stuff! Now don't freak out because I have a plan!

J.C
Well I'm all ears Mike. Now that you got me roped into this shit I have no choice, do I?

MIKE
Sorry about that, but I'm in a pretty tight squeeze here. Now I know the CBP office down here is pretty good in handling this kind of deal so in the morning, we're headed for the border.

J.C
Mexico!? We can't go to Mexico.

MIKE
We're not! We're going' to the border. Y'know, the big metal fence between the U.S and Mexico.

J.C
I stare at it every day. 

MIKE
Well get some sleep, okay? 

J.C abides him, already snug on the couch. Mike turns towards the camera, effectively breaking the FOURTH WALL...

EXT. GAS STOP - SOMEWHERE BETWEEN ORANGE COUNTY AND SAN DIEGO COUNTY - SAME 

Vlad stands by the car, filling the tank with unleaded. He's waiting on the phone, trying to get a hold of Jefe.

JEFE
(over phone)
Hello?

VLAD
We had a snag. 

INT. STUDY - SAME

Jefe is pacing around with the phone as the Underboss and a few bodyguards take the time playing poker. 

JEFE
No shit! And what the hell we're you thinking shooting up the neighbors? 

VLAD
(over phone)
It was a mistake.

JEFE
What? 
(beat)
How the hell did this happen?!

VLAD
(over phone)
He knew I was going to show up. I found the tracking thing in the backyard. 

JEFE
Great! You realize how much money we've blown on this venture alone? The mayates are laughing their asses off cause of this little maneuver!
VLAD
Relax. I have it under control.

JEFE
Bulllshiit. 
(sits down; imperative voice)
Get the fucking coke by tomorrow or consider your ass killed in action! 

Jefe hangs up.

EXT. GAS STOP 

Vlad stands in resolution. He turns back, closes the gas tank and rounds the corner to enter the vehicle. 

INT. CAR

He starts the car, and then turns towards the GPS screen, dialing in an address...

CUT TO:

EXT. J.C'S - DAY

Its morning, the ambience alive and festive with birds chirping, the swoosh of cars speeding by, etc... 

Mike steps out of his car, fresh from making a breakfast run. He carries a paper bag of Mexican food brought to you by El Jalapenos'. 

INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

J.C is reading a newspaper while a steaming hot cup of coffee brews smoke next to him. He picks it up, blows the steam off and drinks. He puts the cup down just Mike enters the house with the food in his hand.

J.C
(yawning)
Morning drug mule.

MIKE
You sound better.

J.C
Just making the best out of a bad situation.

MIKE
Bullshit. Look –
(waves bag of food and pulls out a burrito)
I got us both breakfast burritos. 
(grabs said burrito and tosses it)
Chow down.

J.C
You got ketchup?

MIKE
No. We got some in the fridge, why?

J.C
That's catsup.

Mike mounts a few steps upstairs, and stops. 

MIKE
It's the same shit. I'll be upstairs. I got to make some calls. 

J.C
Go ahead. Nobody's stopping you. 

Mike disappears up the flight of stairs.

EXT. INTERSECTION - SAME

The house is in frame, but seems distant. CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO REVEAL we're actually a block away from J.C. As the motion stops, Vlad comes into frame, wielding his gun. 

Just to make sure, he checks a printout of the address. He looks back, and turns. The small nudge toward the street sign confirms his location. And he starts walking. 

INT. UPSTAIRS - SAME

Mike puts his cell phone down, fresh from calling somebody five times over and not getting an answer. He turns towards the blinds; half open, and looks through one of them. Then he SEES SOMETHING, something that has enough stimuli to draw his jaw in terror. 
HIS POV - A HIGH-SPEED CRASH ZOOM REVEALS VLAD! 

He makes a hard left turn and runs down the stairs!

INT. DOWNSTAIRS - CONTINUOUS

MIKE
They're here!

J.C
Who's here?

MIKE
They! 

Mike runs for the window; Vlad is still in sight. J.C walks towards him to get a good view through the window - he sees him.

J.C
It's a guy in a tux. So? He could be a mariachi or something. This is a predominantly Mexican neighborhood you know.
(notices the gun)
Okay. You got me.

MIKE
Now what do we do?

J.C laughs, and turns back to Mike. He presents a cool and calm demeanor, something he hasn’t exhibited this whole time.

J.C
I can actually help you out with this. 

MIKE
How so?

J.C
Walk with me.

INT. UPSTAIRS - CONTINUOUS

J.C using a ladder reaches the ceiling to access the attic. Mike stays below with a flashlight. SOMETHING GREEN AND HEAVY FALLS BEFORE HIM. J.C jumps down and kneels before it. It’s an old army issued bag, worn out from years inside the crypt. 
J.C
This is my Grandpa's stuff. 

MIKE
The 'Nam vet. 

J.C
Yep. Took a few souvenirs from rice-paddy land.

Unzipping it, he unveils a cache of military gear, ranging from Helmets, gun belts, gas masks, ALICE frames, and of course a few guns and a lot of ammo. 

J.C lays it out accordingly. Then he stops, and looks up.

J.C
Wait. They’re something else up there. 

He goes back up and into the black. He starts making grunting noises, as if trying to pull out something heavy.

MIKE
You need help?

SOUND: THUD! Unseen, it still makes its presence known by making Mike raise an eyebrow. J.C smirks. 

MIKE
Wow. You sure this isn't illegal.

J.C
Nope. Not at all. 

MIKE
Bullshit.

J.C
I'm serious, dude. Federal law --

SOUND: GATE OPENING. Both turn to each other - Vlad has entered the property. Then they look down toward something that looks like a PRESSURE GAUGE. 

EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Vlad is a few feet away from the house, cocking the gun as he gets ready to pounce. The door then OPENS...

IN SLOW MOTION VLAD CONTINUES ON HIS COURSE BUT THEN OBSERVES J.C WALK OUT OF THE DOOR WITH AN M2 FLAMETHROWER STRAPPED ON AND PRIMMED! VLAD'S FACE WIDENS IN ASTONISMENT. AND J.C LASHES OUT A FIERY TONGUE! But Vlad narrowly misses. 

J.C
Dam!

Vlad takes shelter behind a car, making a sentry position and taking fire. 

J.C sprays him again with the flame thrower, but suddenly it dies. CLOSE UP ON THE GAUGE reveals pressure dropping to zero, all thanks to a hole in the air tank thanks to a ricochet bullet. Vlad laughs; J.C gives him the finger and runs back. Now it's Mike's turn, firing away with an M-16. 

J.C
You got this?

MIKE
Sure do!
(takes a clip from the ammo box and loads)
Get sum!

The exchange continues for a few more minutes until Mike runs out. He looks back in the box, only to discover not bullets but SHELLS.

MIKE
(holds a shell)
They're not bullets! They're shells!

J.C 
Sorry! This was kind of short notice!

MIKE
Whatever! What do we do now?

J.C
Fallow me!

Both run back inside. 

Vlad pursues. 

EXT. BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

J.C and Mike escape through the back, one carrying the goody bag the other the coke bag. They round the corner and proceed down an alley, and back out towards the driveway. 

Vlad comes out through the door but finds it empty. Realizing he's been duped, he goes back out the way he came. 

EXT. INTERSECTION BETWEEN COTTONWOOD AND W HALL AVE

Mike and JC spill out on the street, narrowly dogging a car. J.C seems out of breath, panting heavily, Mike looking off into the distance.

J.C
What do we do now?

MIKE
We run.
(turns back)
Come on, let’s go!

A bullet grazes the street sign above J.C, and he starts running down...

EXT. WEST HALL AVENUE

The two make a dash down the road, Vlad calmly walking yards away, firing away. He manages to hit a few parked cars and sets off alarms. 

This ordeal goes on for a few more moments, until reaching another intersection, the Civic center on the left, and a park on the right. The duo takes the park.

EXT. PARK - CONTINUOUS

J.C and Mike run into the grass area, taking shelter behind the swings. 

Vlad appears back on the intersection, and spots the duo. Taking aim, nothing comes out - he's out of ammo.

Fortunately his car is next to him, and so he pulls out his keys, pops the trunk, and takes out an ammo box. 

As Mike watches, he turns back to J.C, pulling out a BAZOOKA from the bag. 

MIKE
I really like that bag.

J.C
I know right.

J.C takes aim, Mike looking hesitant.

MIKE
You sure you're aiming it with the right hole?

J.C
Yeah. It says front toward enemy for a reason.

MIKE
Oh.

Back to Vlad, who finishes closing the trunk, a gun clip in his mouth. He turns back and notices the bazooka! 

The gun clip drops from his mouth.

VLAD
(in Russian
Shit.

J.C
WOLVERINES!!!

J.C squeezes the trigger. VAAAPP!!!! The missile comes hurdling from out of the nozzle, traveling at several hundred feet per second, until seemingly slicing into the car's side, immediately igniting the gas tank and BOOM!!!!! 

Fire and smoke erupt from the car, Vlad not seen and assumingly eliminated.

Mike and J.C get up from behind the swings and look at the burning husk that was Vlad's car. 

MIKE
(enthusiastically)
Bad-ass. 

J.C shows off his prowess by blowing off the erupting steam from the bazooka nozzle. 

MIKE (CONT’D)
You can stop showing off now.

J.C frowns back, and lowers the bazooka.

J.C
I'm thirsty. 

MIKE
You want to get some Big Gulps over at Seven Eleven?

J.C
I'm down.

CUT TO:

EXT. SEVEN ELEVEN - LATER

Mike is slurping down the last ounce of soda until the cup is nothing but ice. He promptly throws it inside the trash. Out of the store comes J.C with bags of sugar and super glue. 

J.C
You might want to help me with this.

MIKE
What are we doing now, cooking' crack?

J.C
No, but if you help me I'll be more than happy to explain what the hell I'm doing.

Mike and J.C round the corner, and take refuge behind the garbage cans. 

J.C grabs the coke bag and grabs a block. He pulls out a box cutter and slits it open. He does the same for the sugar bags, but much more carefully, dumping the sugar on the side. He then replaces the sugar with cocaine. 
MIKE
You’re replacing the sugar with cocaine?

J.C
It’s the perfect cover. 

MIKE
God forbid someone tries to make cookies with this stuff.

J.C
Columbian snaps. 

They laugh. 

After three blocks, they fill up the first bag which J.C re-seals with superglue. They repeat this action for five more bags, and stuff them back inside the bag. 

J.C
Now, let's get to the border!

MIKE
About time.

Both get up simultaneously, walking away from the garage cans, JUST AS VLAD COMES BACK IN SIGHT, STANDING BEFORE THEM CHARRED AND PISSED!

J.C
Holy Shit!

MIKE
Uh-ooh...

VLAD
(pissed off)
YOU GUYS! HAVE BEEN GIVING ME ONE FUCKING BAD DAY! AND I DON'T KNOW WETHER I SHOULD SHOOT YOU BOTH OR HOW DO YOU SAY, GET MIDEVAL ON YOUR ASS!

MIKE
We prefer life! Let's split!

J.C and Mike once again are on the run, Vlad now running for them and gaining considerable speed. 

This time, the duo decides to run through a neighborhood. Vlad continues. 

J.C
We better split up!

MIKE
(yelling)
Good idea!

They split - one heading down the alley, the other through the houses. 

EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS

Mike sprints away at whirlwind speed, knocking garbage cans left and right. Vlad continues, marching through the debris. 

Mike is then stopped - a dead end! He turns back at Vlad, just a few feet away. Dropping the goody bag to his side, Mike cracks his neck and his knuckles, Vlad closing in.

MIKE
Okay asshole, let's see you dance!

Mike throws a jab across Vlad's face, but he retracts and swings back with a right hook.

VLAD
Don't fuck with Mother Russia.

Mike refuses to go down, throwing a few more jabs. Vlad easily conquers him with a combination of jabs and punches. 

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - SAME

As for J.C he tries to stretch his legs out to get a better footing. He stops behind a wall, and spots a small window. Here he takes the opportunity to open the coke bag and puts the sugar bags through the window.

INT. HOUSE

The sugar bags land consecutively atop a counter, where a microwave resides - this is a kitchen.

EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS

POW! Mike goes flying through the air, landing hard on the floor. Vlad smiles, his teeth stained red from the blood trickling down his nose. 

Mike tries to reach for the goody bag, but Vlad kicks it out of the way. He's now effectively neutralized, and awaits the sweet embrace of death by a mad Russian. 

SOUND: BUZZING.

An insect flies through the air, trailing close to Vlad's neck. He immediately slaps his neck, the buzzing stops. But then his eerie grin turns to a worrisome gaping mouth. He slowly retracts his hand, revealing the remains of a BEE resting on his hand, ITS STINGER STILL LODGED DEEP IN HIS PALM! His terrified look increases, eyes widening, pants heavily, redness spreading across his skin, swelling into something bulbous. The breathing gets more and more laborious until he finally collapses. 

Mike watches the entire ordeal, thinking to himself what the hell's wrong with this guy? Here he infers that his symptoms - the redness, the trouble breathing, the swelling, all associated with an ALLERGIC REACTION.

J.C runs into the scene, raising an eyebrow at Vlad. 

J.C
What the fuck did you do?

MIKE
I didn't do anything. The bee did.

J.C
The bee?
(realizing)
He's allergic.

MIKE
Yep. 

Vlad's breaths start to get longer and fainter, drawing close to death.

J.C
Should we let him kill over?

MIKE
No. I don't want that on my conscious.

J.C
Check the medical kit. It’s in the bag.

Mike goes up to the bag, unzips and unearths the medical kit. He then takes out a syringe loaded with adrenaline, walks toward Vlad, and injects. 

All his symptoms suddenly disappear in a matter of seconds, Vlad wheezing as he takes a deep and wholesome breath of fresh air. He takes his time to get up, the other two coming to his side.

J.C
(holding him up)
Here buddy. 

MIKE
(dusts off his shirt)
Here you go.

VLAD
Why... did you save me?

MIKE
Cause we're not assholes.

J.C
My friend couldn't say it any better.

VLAD
Which cartel are you from?

MIKE
None. We just got the wrong package. 

Vlad then turns to J.C

J.C
I just got dragged along for the ride.

VLAD
Can we, how do you say, forget about this?
(pulls out a wad of cash)
Here's compensation.

MIKE
(grabbing money)
Sure, whatever you say.

Suddenly, Vlad walks off, towards the distance. J.C and Mike watch for a bit, and then turn to each other.

J.C
How much did he give you?

Mike makes a quick inspection of the money.

MIKE
I think fifty-grand.

J.C
That much? I thought he'd give us more.

MIKE
Fifty grand is still a lot.

J.C
True.

The duo start mounting a few steps. 

MIKE
Now since I'm here, I wouldn't mind going for a Mexican coke right about now.

J.C
Same here. This is something I’ll definitely not be doing again, ever!

Picking up momentum, J.C and Mike walk away in the opposite direction, irresponsibly leaving the goody bag on the floor.

SOUND: A COUNTER BELL.

CUT TO:

INT. EL JAPANENOS - DAY

A local Mexican restaurant just off the exit. The walls are painted green, with pictures of Pancho Villa and bull fighters. The air is alive with mariachi music...

A steamy pile of carne-asada fries lays waiting on the counter, the GUY AT THE REGISTER hitting the counter bell. 

GUY
Order for Dawes! Dawes!

A Caucasian man walks towards the counter and grabs the plate. WE FALLOW. It lands on a table, where we find Bixby sipping on a bottle of Sangria. Dawes sits down across him, and immediately goes to work on the meal.

DAWES
Dig in; I can't finish a whole plate.

BIXBY
I kind of doubt that.

DAWES
Well you shouldn't. I told you this is the best Mexican place outside of Mexico. 

BIXBY
Well god forbid the cook is illegal and spits in our food.

Dawes mockingly digs through the fires with a fork. 

DAWES
(grinning)
No spit.

BIXBY
(rolls his eyes)
Whatever.

DAWES
So what ever happened to the coke case?

BIXBY
Oh, that one. 

Bixby turns right and pulls out a manila folder, placing it between them. He flips it open, unveiling paperwork.

BIXBY
(skimming through the file)
Okay, well the shipment of cocaine went to a one Mike Weirbowski who lives up in Orange County. The T.J Cartel got word of its location and dispatched some Russian delivery boy named Vlad Pankovich. Bowski got word of the heat coming for him so he came down to San Ysidro and got in touch with one Juan Carlos Reyes, an old college buddy of his. Two days later the two are picked up at the border, tell the CBP guys what happened, and are now in protective custody. 

DAWES
And the Russian guy?

BIXBY
Here's where it gets interesting...

INT. DRUG COMPOUND - DAY - FLASHBACK

Vlad bursts through the door and mows down everyone in sight with two automatic weapons. A few seconds later, the house and its occupants are reduced to Swiss cheese. The only one left standing is EL Jefe, quivering in fear. Vlad takes aim and FIRES! 

CLOSE ON A GLASSY SURFACE AS BLOOD JETS OUT.

The next shot has Vlad walking out the front door, leaving the bloody mess.

BIXBY (O.S)
For some reason, Pankovich didn't like his employers and killed off the entire cartel by himself. He practically did us a favor.

INT. RESTURANT - CONTINUOUS

Dawes takes another swig of sangria. 

DAWES
(digging through the fries)
So what do you want to do? Put him on the payroll?

BIXBY
Of course not. I'm just saying.

DAWES
So then what happened?

BIXBY
Left the country for Russia, but was picked up at L.A.X. But since he did what he did, they're going to put him in Protective services. 

DAWES
And the coke? 

Bixby turns to him, giving his a silent hint.

DAWES
(reads the hint)
That's a shame. 

BIXBY
Well we all can't get everything we want. 

DAWES
True. Now you going to have your fries or what?

BIXBY
Yeah, yeah...

Dawes slides them over and commences eating. A smile appears on his face - satisfaction.

BIXBY
These are good.

DAWES
Told yah.

BIXBY
But I'm still stumped on what happened to the cocaine.

DAWES
I'm sure it'll turn up. Eventually.

SOUND: WATER FAUCET RUNNING.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

A GIRL fresh from school waits for the water to fill up a cup. The water fills to the top, spilling over in all direction. The Girl then closes the faucet and picks up the cup, placing it next to a bag of flour and a book titled:

BAKING COOKIES IN FIVE EASY STEPS

The Girl suddenly stops. 

GIRL
(mockingly hits herself on the forehead)
Oh! I forgot.

She turns.

CAMERA DOLLIES LEFT toward a microwave, where the BAGS OF SUGAR RESIDE!

GIRL (CONT'D)
I'm going to need some sugar.

The sugar bags seem to produce an eerie aura. 

FADE OUT. 

THE END?