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INT. BARE STAGE LANCE Once upon a time, there was a baby girl, named Rapunzel. She was magical. Lights up on a baby carriage. A magical sound. LANCE (CONT'D) Her hair had magical healing powers. It can make you live forever, yadda yadda yadda... Anyways, her mom and dad wanted her magic for themselves. MOTHER and FATHER stand on either side of the baby carriage, pantomiming an argument. LANCE (CONT'D) One night, while her father was sleeping, her mother took Rapunzel for herself and ran off. Lights up on a giant tower. LANCE (CONT'D) To keep people from finding them, she hid Rapunzel away in a giant tower. Discreet, right? MOTHER pokes head out of window, holding baby, and looks around. LANCE (CONT'D) For her entire life, Rapunzel's mother never let her leave the tower. RAPUNZEL steps into window, looks around. LANCE (CONT'D) Hold on, there's more. Rapunzel's dad hadn't forgotten about her either. He spent every day and every night searching for her. LANCE (V.O.) After finally finding out where she was hidden, he called upon the help of one dashing, brave, handsome, heroic, muscular, suave, charming man. LANCE enters during slew of adjectives. LANCE See that guy? That's me! Aren't I pretty? LANCE turns to audience and makes gesture. GOOBER enters, and trips, and LANCE makes embarrassed gesture. LANCE (CONT'D) Oh, and that's Goober. GOOBER regains posture. LANCE (CONT'D) He's a bit clumsy, a bit... Not all there. He's not ugly, but he's nowhere near as good looking as me... Or charming. Heh. GOOBER makes offended gestures. GOOBER Do you really think that? LANCE shrugs. LANCE (V.O.) Anyways, back to the story. This guy, who never told us his name, hired us to kidnap this Rapunzel chick. Now this, this is where things got interesting... Both are tired. GOOBER more so than LANCE. LANCE Alright, so where are we? GOOBER pulls out the map. GOOBER Well, it says there should be a tower right in front of us! LANCE I don't see it. Are you sure you're reading it right? GOOBER I'm positive! NORTH WEST SOUTH EAST. FLYNN Great, now we're lost in a forest! FLYNN grabs the map, and turns it upside down. He then flashes a dirty look at GOOBER. FLYNN and GOOBER make their way to the tower's base. They then head towards the tower onstage. GOOBER So... What do we do? FLYNN We have to find a way in. GOOBER I don't see how. FLYNN I do. LANCE starts climbing. GOOBER wipes away vines to reveal a sign that says, "DON'T CLIMB THIS TOWER." GOOBER Wait, Lance! Hello? GOOBER (CONT'D) Uh... What should I do? FLYNN Wait until I tell you it's clear! Lights down as FLYNN starts to climb. INT. RAPUNZEL'S ROOM RAPUNZEL is finishing dusting the various furniture in her room. She is humming a tune. RAPUNZEL pulls out a scrap of paper. RAPUNZEL Did the dishes. Cleaned my room. MOTHER enters RAPUNZEL (CONT'D) Swept the floors. Dusted EVERYTHING... What else could I do? MOTHER (With a laugh) Maybe a foot massage? RAPUNZEL jumps. MOTHER (CONT'D) Oh, I'm just kidding dear. MOTHER lets out a soft cackle. MOTHER (CONT'D) Oh dear, I am so witty! MOTHER looks at her self in the mirror. RAPUNZEL Hilarious. RAPUNZEL steps aside for a moment. RAPUNZEL (CONT'D) (Aside) I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna ask. No matter what the answer, I'm going to! RAPUNZEL turns to MOTHER, who is still looking at herself in the mirror. RAPUNZEL (CONT'D) Mother? MOTHER What? RAPUNZEL I've been thinking... MOTHER What is it? RAPUNZEL I'm almost 17, and I think I'm old enough to leave the tower. MOTHER What?! RAPUNZEL I've been reading about the city, and it sounds so wonderful! All of the people, all the food! MOTHER No. RAPUNZEL Please! There are so many amazing things I could do! So much to learn, so much to see! MOTHER I said no, Rapunzel! RAPUNZEL I can handle myself out there, Mother! I'm tougher than you think! MOTHER Look at you, you're clumsy! You'll bruise easier than a peach! You're gullible! RAPUNZEL I am not! MOTHER (Gesturing to the floor) You missed a spot! RAPUNZEL (Glancing down) What? MOTHER See? RAPUNZEL That's not fair, Mother! MOTHER Life's not fair. RAPUNZEL Mother, I- MOTHER Not another word! RAPUNZEL lets out an exasperated sigh. MOTHER (CONT'D) I'm going back to bed. RAPUNZEL But Mother! MOTHER You are never leaving this tower, EVER! MOTHER begins to leave, then turns back. MOTHER (CONT'D) (Creepily sweet) I do this because I love you. MOTHER exits. RAPUNZEL (With a sigh) I just wanted to go see the city at least once... I wish someone could just take me there... Thud from backstage. RAPUNZEL squeals and hides. FLYNN Okay, Goober! Come on up! LANCE enters room. He pulls out picture of RAPUNZEL. He searches throughout the room. She pops out with a pan. FLYNN (CONT'D) ... Hi there. RAPUNZEL swings pan. FLYNN (CONT'D) Whoa, whoa, whoa! FIGHT ensues. Ends with RAPUNZEL repeatedly hitting LANCE with the pan behind the couch. She drags his unconscious body to a chair. She then ties him to the chair with rope. She takes a moment to look him over. RAPUNZEL He's kinda cute. FLYNN (Waking up) You're not so bad yourself. RAPUNZEL shrieks and smacks him with the pan again. LANCE Ow! RAPUNZEL Who are you, and what are you doing here? FLYNN I'm Flynn Rider. I'm an adventurer. I've seen every corner of the world. Tasted every flavor of doritos. Caught all the pokemon. And... RAPUNZEL Wait, you've been everywhere? FLYNN Pretty much! RAPUNZEL Have you ever been to the city? FLYNN Plenty of times, actually. One time- RAPUNZEL cuts him off. RAPUNZEL What's it like? Is there music? What are the people like? Are they friendly? Is it pretty? Are the beds comfy? Are there children? Are there fireworks? I want to see fireworks so bad! What about boats? And horses? FLYNN Well you know, actually, I'm on my way to the city. RAPUNZEL's interest is piqued. FLYNN (CONT'D) And there's gonna be quite the fireworks show! In 3 days! Thud heard backstage. RAPUNZEL (RAPUNZEL gags FLYNN.) Shh!!! Be quiet! GOOBER enters. GOOBER Hey Lance, are we gonna kidnap this girl or what.... GOOBER notices Lance tied up. GOOBER (CONT'D) Uh oh... GOOBER exits. RAPUNZEL You're gonna kidnap me? FLYNN attempts to speak, but the gag prevents him. RAPUNZEL (CONT'D) Oh. RAPUNZEL takes off tape. FLYNN Ow! When you put it like that, it sounds bad. FLYNN squirms away toward the window. RAPUNZEL (Aside) Wait a second... He wants to take me away... away from here! That means I can go outside! And maybe even see the city! And once I get there, I can just run away... He shouldn't be too hard to deal with! I beat him up once, I can do it again! RAPUNZEL turns around and sees FLYNN inching his way out. RAPUNZEL (CONT'D) Hey! FLYNN Yes? RAPUNZEL I propose a deal. FLYNN I'm listening. RAPUNZEL I want to see the city. FLYNN So? RAPUNZEL So... If you take me there, I won't fight back, and I'll let you take me as your prisoner. FLYNN considers for a moment. FLYNN You've got yourself a deal. RAPUNZEL unties him, and they exit. MOTHER enters. MOTHER Rapunzel, dear! MOTHER begins scrambling throughout the room, looking for clues. FLYNN (V.O.) Rapunzel's mother returned to find her missing. GOOBER, LANCE, and RAPUNZEL run into the house. MOTHER comes to the tower window, and sees them running off. MOTHER RAPUNZEL! RAPUNZEL, LANCE, and GOOBER exit completely. MOTHER (CONT'D) I'm just doing this because I love you... And sometimes, you have to hurt the ones you love. INT. MYSTERY ROOM - NIGHT BRUCE and LENNY are standing by a table. BRUCE is staring blankly. LENNY is toying with his sword. FLYNN (V.O.) Rapunzel's mother called upon the help of Bruce and Lenny. Many know them as the most dangerous bounty hunters. BRUCE begins to wander off, chasing a bug. LENNY Bruce, get back here! FLYNN (V.O.) I know them as two of the dumbest people in the world. MOTHER enters. MOTHER Bruce, Lenny? BRUCE Yes, sir! LENNY smacks BRUCE. LENNY Yes, ma'am? MOTHER My daughter has been kidnapped. I'll pay handsomely for her return. LENNY What's the kidnapper look like? MOTHER Brown hair. Tall. Athletic. LENNY Wait a sec, was he wearing a blue vest? Brown pants? BRUCE Shoes? Was he wearing shoes? LENNY Was there a guy with him? Scrawny little fellow? MOTHER Yes, yes! Exactly! LENNY We know him. His name is Flynn... Flynn Rider. FLYNN (V.O.) They didn't like me one bit. BRUCE & LENNY We don't like him one bit. MOTHER Then you're gonna LOVE this job. FLYNN (V.O.) Mother sent Bruce and Lenny to "take care of" me and bring Rapunzel back to the tower. INT. FOREST INTO BAR RAPUNZEL, GOOBER, and FLYNN enter. RAPUNZEL Are we there yet? FLYNN No. (Pause) RAPUNZEL I'm bored! Oh! Let's play a game. I spy with my little eye.... (Looks at Goober) Something goofy looking! GOOBER .....Hey! LANCE You do realize you're a prisoner right? RAPUNZEL ignores Lance and looks at "Puppy Palace" sign. RAPUNZEL Oh! Puppy Palace! I've never seen a puppy before! Can we go? Please?! FLYNN Trust me, there's no puppies in there...only... FLYNN and GOOBER look at each other mischievously. FLYNN (CONT'D) Cute, little, fluffy faces ready for your love! GOOBER You better hurry before they all grow up! RAPUNZEL runs into Puppy Palace. LENNY is at the bar, talking to the bartender (HELGA), and BRUCE is at a table with another random goon. FLYNN This should be fun to watch. LANCE and GOOBER enter bar. BRUCE I don't like the way you look! BRUCE smacks random GOON unconscious. RAPUNZEL runs up to BRUCE. RAPUNZEL You're no where near as cute as a puppy! BRUCE WELL THANKS A LOT! BRUCE walks away crying. LENNY Excuse me, we're looking for this guy. LENNY hands HELGA a poster of FLYNN. HELGA I've never seen him before. LENNY Can you hang this up for us, then? HELGA I don't see a problem with that. HELGA takes poster and puts it on the wall behind the bar. LENNY Uh... Thanks. LENNY walks back to the table with BRUCE. He looks at the unconscious goon. LENNY (CONT'D) Really?! BRUCE Sorry... FLYNN stands in the corner. GOOBER walks to the bar. He notices the sign. GOOBER Flynn! We got a problem! LANCE makes his way to the sign, looks at it, then smirks to GOOBER. LANCE Don't worry about it. GOOBER walks away and bumps into HELGA. GOOBER Oh sorry. Love music, and spotlight on GOOBER. HELGA I'm glad I bumped into you. GOOBER Uh... Okay then. As GOOBER continues walking, HELGA watches, amorously. HELGA (To self) I'm very glad. BRUCE makes his way to the bar, and slams his fist on the counter. BRUCE I want a refill! HELGA Helga busy! BRUCE sees FLYNN, but doesn't realize he's FLYNN. BRUCE Hey... FLYNN (Nervously) Oh... Hi! BRUCE Don't I know you? FLYNN I... I don't think so! BRUCE looks at the poster, then back at FLYNN. BRUCE You know something? You look just like the guy on that poster! FLYNN I get that a lot. BRUCE rushes over to LENNY. LENNY Where are the drinks? BRUCE That guy over there, he looks just like Flynn Rider! LENNY What? Who? BRUCE points at FLYNN, LENNY glances over. LENNY (CONT'D) You doofus! That is Flynn Rider! BRUCE Oh! FLYNN scurries quickly on by. BRUCE grabs his collar and brings him back. FLYNN is now in between LENNY and BRUCE LENNY Long time no see... Flynn. FLYNN Hey there fellas... Been a while... hasn't it? FLYNN tries to scurry away. Fight happens. GOOBER gets into it, HELGA attacks in rage at goons. HELGA I'll take care of these pests! Run my love! FLYNN and GOOBER look at each other slightly confused. Then. FLYNN & GOOBER OK! FLYNN and GOOBER grab RAPUNZEL. Run out into forest. HELGA man handles goons. Goons hide under table BRUCE (sobbing helplessly) Lenny... LENNY Yeah, Bruce... BRUCE I'm scared... LENNY Me too... Lets get out of here! HELGA roars in anger. LENNY (CONT'D) Like right now! EXT. FOREST FLYNN, GOOBER, and RAPUNZEL all enter the forest gasping for air. FLYNN Okay, there's no way they could've followed us this far! GOOBER falls down, extremely tired. Then. GOOBER Okay, I think this is a GREAT place for camp. RAPUNZEL Why were those men chasing us? FLYNN We haven't had the BEST past... HELGA enters, bringing firewood. HELGA Helga bring firewood. GOOBER, FLYNN, and RAPUNZEL stare at HELGA confused. GOOBER Well, I'm gonna go look for something to eat. HELGA I'll come with you! I'm an excellent hunter! HELGA and GOOBER exit. FLYNN and RAPUNZEL are sitting on a log. Awkward pause. FLYNN Okay... I'd like to know something. RAPUNZEL What is it? FLYNN If you've always wanted to go to the city, why haven't you just gone before? RAPUNZEL Well... I've never been allowed to leave my tower... Because I have magical hair and my mom's worried people will find out and try to take me away. FLYNN Wow. RAPUNZEL Heh... Yeah... FLYNN So... Your hair is magical? RAPUNZEL (Kind of embarrassed) Yeah... FLYNN That's awesome! RAPUNZEL Really? You don't think it's weird? FLYNN It's the weirdest thing I've ever heard! But... That's awesome! Pause. RAPUNZEL (Jokingly) So... are you really an adventurer? Or was that a lie too? FLYNN (chuckles) Actually, yes. I am. RAPUNZEL Okay, well, where have you traveled? FLYNN Plenty of places... But my favorite is the city. Amazing food, the best parties, dancing until the sunrise! RAPUNZEL They dance there? FLYNN Well, sure! Everyone dances! RAPUNZEL Oh... I've never danced before... FLYNN Really? RAPUNZEL nods. FLYNN (CONT'D) Not even once? RAPUNZEL I've never been able to leave the tower until now. FLYNN stands up and puts his hand out. FLYNN Better late than never. Music begins. RAPUNZEL But... I don't even know how. FLYNN brings her up. FLYNN Just follow my lead. FLYNN (V.O.) Yes, I taught Rapunzel how to dance. Her dancing skills? All me. Music continues, GOOBER and HELGA enter. They notice RAPUNZEL and FLYNN dancing and begin to twirl violently. HELGA I love dancing! HELGA grabs GOOBER. They dance violently. FLYNN and RAPUNZEL get ready to kiss. FLYNN (V.O.) (Chuckles) Yes, the moment was ALMOST perfect, but then... HELGA and GOOBER cut between FLYNN and RAPUNZEL. HELGA I see dinner! HELGA charges offstage. GOOBER yawns awkwardly. GOOBER Well! As fun as this awkward tension is, I'm gonna hit the hay! GOOBER finds place on stage and falls asleep. FLYNN (Coughs) Ahem... Well! Ha ha... so... RAPUNZEL So...(pause) Good night... FLYNN Yeah! Heh. See ya in the morning! Both go to sleep. BRUCE and LENNY enter. LENNY starts to sneak towards them. BRUCE stops him. BRUCE Wait! LENNY What?! BRUCE looks around scared-like. BRUCE Is that scary man-woman around? BRUCE and LENNY look around. They see nothing. LENNY The coast is clear. Let's shut the goofy lookin' one up first. They approach GOOBER. Before they even touch him HELGA enters with rubber chicken. HELGA I caught a chicken! HELGA sees the goons about to attack GOOBER. HELGA (CONT'D) What are you doing to my Goober? GOOBER wakes up. LENNY (Nervously) Uhh... Just wishing him a happy birthday! HELGA It's your birthday? Helga give you a big birthday hug! HELGA bear hugs GOOBER. Goons try to slip away unnoticed GOOBER Well thanks guys! I don't know what to say! Wait... It's not my birthday! BRUCE and LENNY instantly freeze. HELGA puts GOOBER down and gets extremely angry. HELGA You lied to me?! No one lies to Helga! HELGA attacks BRUCE and LENNY. FLYNN and RAPUNZEL wake up. They are scared and confused. HELGA (CONT'D) You guys go on ahead! I take care of these sissy girls! I will find you again my Goober! GOOBER Helga! FLYNN grabs GOOBER. FLYNN Trust me! She can take care of herself, lets go! FLYNN, RAPUNZEL, and GOOBER exit. Fight between HELGA, BRUCE and LENNY. BRUCE and LENNY hide. HELGA loses them HELGA Where did you two pansy flowers go! I always find my prey! HELGA roars and runs offstage. Goons come out of hiding. BRUCE Lenny... LENNY Yes?... BRUCE I don't like her... LENNY I don't like her either Bruce... BRUCE and LENNY cry on each others shoulders. MOTHER enters. She's furious. MOTHER Bruce! Lenny! BRUCE and LENNY instantly man up. MOTHER (CONT'D) What are you two doing? LENNY Not crying, that's for sure! BRUCE I thought this was called crying? LENNY hits BRUCE. MOTHER UGH! Well you were suppose to bring me Rapunzel! Remember? Or are your two little pea brains having trouble understanding me? BRUCE & LENNY Uhh... Well... MOTHER Why did I think I could entrust even the simplest task to you two? I bet you two can't even spell your own names if you want something done right, you do it yourself. You two come with me. BRUCE and LENNY reluctantly follow her. They exit. INT. CITY RAPUNZEL and FLYNN enter through the aisles. Music and festivities occur on stage. RAPUNZEL Oh my gosh! Lance! It's... It's... FLYNN Isn't it great? Wait until you- RAPUNZEL grabs FLYNN in excitement and leads him onstage. RAPUNZEL It's amazing! Come on! RAPUNZEL, FLYNN, and GOOBER are now onstage. RAPUNZEL looks around in wonder. She walks around, amazed with her surroundings, grabs an apple in the meantime. RAPUNZEL begins to get choked up. FLYNN Is... everything alright? RAPUNZEL Yeah... Yeah... I mean... I've been dreaming of this moment forever... And now it's here, and I can hardly believe it! And I never would have been able to do this without you... RAPUNZEL stands up and hugs FLYNN. RAPUNZEL (CONT'D) Thank you, thank you so much! TOWNSFOLK (Shouts) The fireworks are about to begin! All exit, except RAPUNZEL and FLYNN. FLYNN unrolls blanket underneath fireworks. FLYNN I saved you a seat. RAPUNZEL giggles and sits down. Fireworks begin. RAPUNZEL stares in awe. FLYNN (CONT'D) You're beautiful. RAPUNZEL What? FLYNN It's beautiful... The fireworks, I mean. RAPUNZEL It's so beautiful! An awkward silence is shared, then they return their gaze to the skies. A beat. FLYNN You know, I've seen just about everything there is to see... RAPUNZEL scoots closer to FLYNN. FLYNN (CONT'D) And... I've never met anyone like you. RAPUNZEL (Flattered) Really? RAPUNZEL grabs FLYNN's hand. They close their eyes and lean in for a kiss, but at the last minute, FLYNN looks behind him, then pulls back. FLYNN I'll be right back, I need to take care of something. FLYNN hurries offstage. GOOBER enters from the opposite side of where FLYNN exited. He sees RAPUNZEL. GOOBER Hey, Rapunzel! RAPUNZEL Hey Goober! GOOBER I need some advice. RAPUNZEL Okay? GOOBER sits next to RAPUNZEL, then looks around. GOOBER So, there's this girl, and I like her... And I think... I think she might like me... RAPUNZEL spazzes out like a preteen girl. RAPUNZEL What's her name? Is she pretty? GOOBER She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life. RAPUNZEL (Eagerly) What's her name? GOOBER It's Helga. RAPUNZEL Goober, that's so sweet! GOOBER Shh! Keep your voice down! Someone might hear! RAPUNZEL nods. They start whispering, inaudible to the audience. BRUCE and LENNY enter. LENNY There they are! LENNY pulls two big bags out. He hands one to BRUCE. LENNY (CONT'D) You get Lance. BRUCE I get pants? LENNY No, you doof! You get him! BRUCE I get him pants? LENNY No! You put this bag over him, and drag him away. I put this bag over her, then we take them to the crazy lady. BRUCE Ohhh, Got it. BRUCE and LENNY sneak up behind them. In a swift motion, they capture GOOBER and RAPUNZEL, GOOBER loses his shoe, and goons drag them offstage. HELGA runs on. HELGA Goober! Where are you? FLYNN runs on. FLYNN Helga! Have you seen Goober? I need to tell him the deal is off. We're not taking Rapunzel in anymore. HELGA I haven't seen my love. I sense that something is wrong. FLYNN Listen, all I know is that I left Rapunzel right here... HELGA Look, over there! HELGA picks up GOOBER'S shoe HELGA (CONT'D) Helga found Goober's shoe! HELGA begins to smell GOOBER'S shoe. FLYNN Oh... Oh, what are you doing? That's his shoe! Yuck! You keep that away from me. HELGA I've found his scent! FLYNN You've done what now! HELGA Quick! Follow me! FLYNN Helga, I really hope that you're not delusional. INT. TOWER-NIGHT BRUCE and LENNY take RAPUNZEL and GOOBER across house. BRUCE So why are we doing all this kidnapping and stuff? LENNY Because we like money, and if we do this, we'll be rich! BRUCE And then girls will finally talk to me? LENNY Maybe, Bruce. Maybe. BRUCE Oh boy, I hope she's pretty! HELGA and FLYNN enter through isle, HELGA sniffing like a pig. FLYNN (V.O.) So I followed the scary, Viking woman, and surprisingly enough, she found Goober, and Rapunzel. They were being held in the tower by the evil mother, and this is where things took an unexpected twist. GOOBER and RAPUNZEL are tied back to back, BRUCE and LENNY cower from MOTHER. MOTHER You imbeciles! You brought me his sidekick?! What use is he? I mean, look at him! Ugh! I am surrounded by a bunch of morons! EXT. TOWER BASE HELGA and FLYNN enter next to tower base. HELGA He's in there... Helga know. FLYNN Okay... Well lets start climbing. HELGA Helga doesn't climb... Helga find her own way in. HELGA exits. FLYNN Your powers of deception are frightening, Helga... Whatever. FLYNN tries to climb but realizes the ivy makes it impossible. FLYNN (CONT'D) Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair! Lights shine on room. INT. TOWER ROOM-NIGHT MOTHER Do you hear that Rapunzel? We wouldn't want to keep him waiting, now would we? MOTHER drags RAPUNZEL up the stairs and to the window. EXT. TOWER-BASE FLYNN Rapunzel! RAPUNZEL'S hair falls out of the window. FLYNN begins to climb. FLYNN (CONT'D) I'm coming, Rapunzel! FLYNN reaches the top of the window and looks out. MOTHER grabs his shoulder. MOTHER Hello, Flynn. He runs down the staircase and sees BRUCE and LENNY. MOTHER (CONT'D) What are you doing standing around, get him! BRUCE and LENNY charge at FLYNN. FLYNN defeats them and stands one on one with MOTHER. They begin to fight. BRUCE and LENNY get up and capture FLYNN. MOTHER stands, pointing her sword at FLYNN. MOTHER (CONT'D) You've made your last mistake, Flynn. "Ride of the Vikings" plays. HELGA bursts through the wall. HELGA I always find a way! MOTHER, BRUCE, and LENNY are baffled. HELGA manhandles all. HELGA throws them down the trap door. FLYNN runs to RAPUNZEL. RAPUNZEL Lance! I thought I'd never see you again! RAPUNZEL and FLYNN hug each other. HELGA bursts through them. HELGA My Goober! HELGA takes GOOBER in her arms and kisses him passionately. GOOBER I'm the happiest man in the world!!! HELGA carries GOOBER offstage. RAPUNZEL and FLYNN laugh. RAPUNZEL Wow... Goober really lucked out, didn't he? FLYNN He's not the only one that lucked out. FLYNN kisses RAPUNZEL. FLYNN (V.O.) And they lived happily ever after.
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