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THE LUNCHROOM Episode Sixteen "A Change is Gonna Come" Written by Bruce Snyder & Rebecca Parker Created by Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Vincent Biga EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Edward Drogos STORY EDITOR Rebecca Parker CAST LIST Will Cooper................................. Joel Mayberry............................... Brian Vandele............................... Brock Warner................................ Reicther.................................... Casey Jennings.............................. Chris Hughes................................ Ellen Conner................................ Cathy Matthews.............................. Mr. John Parker............................. GUEST CAST LIST Minister Mark Johnson....................... Kate Davidson............................... Debbie Vandele.............................. Colleen Davidson............................ Kay Johnson................................. Emily....................................... John Jennings............................... Janice Jennings............................. Katie Jennings.............................. Dr. Peter Dorian............................ Copyright © Bruce Snyder TEASER FADE IN: INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - DAY BRIAN VANDELE stands glumly in front of the mirror in his room wearing a white long-sleeve shirt. Nirvana's "All Apologies" plays in the background. Brian opens the drawer of his dresser and finds it empty. The camera pans around the room, which is littered with seemingly identical black short-sleeve shirts. Brian picks one up, sniffs it, and puts it on. A large sad face is on the front of it, and the words "I'm sad" are written beneath that. Brian takes a long look at himself and then seems to decide something. He leaves the room. CUT TO: INT. VANDELE HOME - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS DEBBIE VANDELE is watching Dr. Phil when Brian enters. BRIAN Hey, mom, I need to talk to you for a minute. Debbie continues staring intently at the television. BRIAN Mom, I'm serious. I really need someone to talk to. Debbie turns up the volume on Dr. Phil, she doesnít seem to fully realize that heís talking to her. Brian sighs and sits down next to her on the couch. He looks spitefully at Dr. Phil. The show goes to commercial. BRIAN Why do you watch this crap? DEBBIE It makes me a better mother. Dr. Phil teaches me how to deal with the issues that you face as a teenager and better prepare you for the road ahead. BRIAN Yeah, speaking of which, Iíve been really depressed lately and I just wanted to ó DEBBIE Shhh. Hush up, honey. The showís back on. BRIAN You've got to be fucking kidding me. SMASH CUT TO: † OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the credits. AFTER CREDITS: FADE IN: INT. VANDELE HOME - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER Debbie and Brian are still watching TV. BRIAN It's a commercial again. Look mom, I feel kind of weird bringing this up, but lately Iíve been really sad and I - DEBBIE Oh shit! Itís time for me to get to work. We can finish this later, right? I have to go in early this morning because Barb called in sick ...so I have to open the shop. You know how it is. Would you mind taping the rest of Dr. Phil for me? I hate to miss it. BRIAN Yeah, sure mom. No problem. Debbie leaves the room. BRIAN I fucking hate you Dr. Phil. Brian rises and starts to walk away from the TV. DR. PHIL (O.S.) (coming from TV) Do you have trouble controlling your anger? BRIAN Only towards you, chicken fucker. DR. PHIL (O.S.) (coming from TV) Do you find it hard to celebrate the good things in life? Brian approaches the TV and talks directly at Dr. Phil, seemingly "getting in his face." BRIAN What good things? Ever since you and George Bush started running the planet I have found very little to celebrate. Texans should never be trusted with power, money, or guns. Didnít Americans learn anything from "Dallas?" DR. PHIL (O.S.) (coming from TV) Are your relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners deteriorating? BRIAN What romantic partners? Brian seems somewhat interested in what these questions are leading up to, and sits back down. DR. PHIL (O.S.) (coming from TV) Do you find that you are generally dissatisfied with the condition of your life? BRIAN Yes DR. PHIL (O.S.) (coming from TV) Have you contemplated suicide? BRIAN I can do you one better. DR. PHIL (O.S.) (coming from TV) These symptoms are all signs of ó BRIAN Depression, I know. Wow, you sure can work wonders, Dr. Phil. I had no idea that I was depre ó DR. PHIL (O.S.) (coming from TV) -- being a complete and total loser. BRIAN What the fuck? CUT TO: EXT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - MINUTES LATER Establishing shot. INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM COLLEEN DAVIDSON, Kate's mother, has just entered the room carrying two suitcases. She takes them and places them at the doorway. CHRIS HUGHES standing against a post, looking very upset at what's going on. Just then, DR. PETER DORIAN enters from the kitchen. DORIAN I called them and they say her room is all ready. (beat) Looks like everything's ready. COLLEEN Should I go get her? DORIAN That's all right, Ms. Davidson. I can do it. But when I bring her down I want you and Chris to be as comforting as possible. COLLEEN All right. Dorian goes up the stairs. COLLEEN Are you okay, Chris? CHRIS I'm just having second thoughts. Do we really have to ship her off to a damn loony bin? COLLEEN C'mon now, Chris. We talked about this. CHRIS I don't like this one bit. COLLEEN Neither do I, Chris. But Dr. Dorian says it's for the best. And he seems to be so comforting and nice to her. We can hear a door open from upstairs, followed by a punching sound. DORIAN (O.S.) You bitch! All of a sudden, Dorian comes rolling down the stairs before making a hard landing at the bottom. Chris and Colleen run over. Dorian holds his couch and starts groaning in pain. COLLEEN Dr. Dorian what happened?! DORIAN That little bitch kicked me the balls and pushed me down the stairs! Colleen gasps. COLLEEN Don't call my daughter a bitch! DORIAN But she kicked me in the balls! Chris jumps over Dorian and runs up the stairs. CHRIS (yelling) KATE! CUT TO: INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - KATE'S ROOM - SECONDS LATER Chris bursts through the door and quickly looks around. The room has a TV, bed, and a few posters but besides it's fairly empty. Chris sees nothing. He's about to leave when he notices that the window is wide open. He goes over and looks out. CHRIS' POV: Looking out the window he sees KATE DAVIDSON running down the sidewalk away from the house. Chris is upset. CUT TO: INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER Dorian is now resting on the couch with a LARGE bag of ice resting on his crotch. Colleen is pacing around. Chris comes down the stairs and enters the room. CHRIS She must have climbed out the window. COLLEEN Oh my God! My baby! DORIAN Don't worry, Ms. Davidson. Kate is just a bit upset right now. CHRIS That's because you tried to fucking ambush her, doc. DORIAN Please. Let's not get into playing the blame game here. CHRIS This coming from the man with an icepack on his balls. Tell me, doc. How'd you get that again? Dorian gives Chris a stern look. DORIAN We'll start a search for her. Usually patients come home within a few hours. Trust me, Kate will be fine. Chris shakes his head. CUT TO: INT. LUNCHROOM - SAME Brian, WILL COOPER, JOEL MAYBERRY, CASEY JENNINGS, BROCK WARNER, and REICTHER are all sitting around a table. Chris is missing. BRIAN Can he really call mentally unstable people losers on national television? Sure Iím not close to my family. Sure I donít share any real personal emotions or issues with my friends. Sure Iíve never had so much as a date with someone of the opposite sex. Sure I spent half of my morning talking to a bald man on the television. That doesn't make me a loser. Brian looks around at the other members of the group, who all avoid eye contact. BRIAN Okay, maybe it does. Reicther looks at Brock and Will. REICTHER Look how sad Brian is now, you know that you could have prevented this if you had let him kill himself. JOEL One insensitive comment at a time, Reicther. REICTHER What? Heís like a lame horse. The only kind thing to do is shoot Mr. Ed in the head and be done with it. BRIAN Hey! Do not call me Mr. Ed. I can talk without having my jowls lined with peanut butter, thank you very much. REICTHER Really? Iíve yet to see it. WILL Shut the fuck up, Reicther. Donít compare Brian to Mr. Ed. BRIAN Thank you, Will. REICTHER Good point. Mr. Ed was much more pleasant. BRIAN I hate you. CASEY Did you know that for the first season of that show Mr. Ed was portrayed by a female zebra? BROCK He couldnít have been, you would have seen the stripes. WILL Actually, that's not true. Stripes don't really translate onto black and white film. It has to do with the - BRIAN Could we PLEASE stop talking about Mr. Ed? I have a real problem here. I'm a loser. WILL So what? We're all losers. It's not like it's that pressing of an issue. BRIAN For me it is. Iím going to turn my life around. (cue dramatic music) Youíll see...Iím going to make something of myself. I'll climb every mountain. I'll ford every stream. I'll follow every rainbow, until I find my ó BROCK So tell me more about this stripes thing. WILL Well, itís all about the - As Will continues explaining Brian looks annoyed but determined. CUT TO: EXT. JOHNSON HOME - AFTER SCHOOL Casey is standing at the door, knocking. No one seems to be answering. He proceeds to knock again. CASEY Kay! Still no answer. Casey looks around and gets an idea. He walks over do driveway and grabs a rock. He goes into the yard and tosses it toward Kay's room. CUT TO: INT. MARK'S STUDY - SAME Minister MARK JOHNSON kneels in the middle of a very small room. He is looking up at a cross, talking to it directly. MARK Lord, I feel as though I have wronged you in some way. I feel as though you do not like the fact that I forbid my daughter from seeing that horrible, horrible boy. If I've done you wrong, please show me a sign. Mark lowers his head. SMASH! The rock comes through the window and nails Mark in the head. MARK Ow! (looks up at cross) A little extreme there, don't you think Jesus? CASEY (O.S.) Oops. My bad! Mark hears Casey and sighs. CUT TO: EXT. JOHNSON HOME - SECONDS LATER Mark comes out the front door to see Casey near a house window, trying to look in. MARK Son, I thought I told you to stay away from my family. Especially my daughter! CASEY I know youíre a man a God, sir but blow it out your ass. I came to see Kay. Casey looks back to the window. CASEY Kay! MARK She's not here. She's at a friend's house. CASEY Well then. I guess I'll just have to sit in this spot until she comes home. Casey sits down in the middle of the yard. Beat. MARK Son, why don't we have a little talk? CASEY I'm good right here, sir. MARK Okay. Let me put it this way. How about you follow me, or Iíll toss a pork chop on you and sic the dog on you. Casey quickly stands. CASEY I'm listening sir. Mark looks around. MARK Why don't we talk somewhere, a little more private. CUT TO: INT. CHURCH - MINUTES LATER Casey and Mark stand at the front of a gigantic church. The walls are covered in art of religious figures. The windows are stain glass. There are giant pillars supporting the roof. MARK I hope you don't mind us talking here. Casey looks over and sees a giant statue of Jesus being crucified. CASEY Uh, no. It's very... (beat) ...pleasant. MARK Son, I admire what you've been trying to do. Not a lot of young men would have persisted as much as you have. But you've got to get it through your head...I don't want you dating my daughter. CASEY I understand, sir. But...I can't stay away... (beat) I love her. MARK C'mon, son. Don't you think you're a little young to know what love is? CASEY There are three things in this world I love; my family, pizza hot pockets, and video games. And to be honest I care for Kay just as much or even more than those things. Pause. CASEY Actually tied because I don't know if you've ever had a hot pocket before sir, but they are - MARK (overlapping) Enough! I know what will change your heathen atheist mind. Mark reaches in his pocket and pulls out a bible. CASEY Oh shit. You're going to convert me? MARK Ooops. Wrong pocket. He reaches in and pulls out a check book. MARK I'll convert you...with the almighty dollar. CASEY You're going to bribe me to stay away from Kay? MARK I hate the word "bribe." I'd prefer "pay off" or maybe even "extortion." Mark writes a number down and hands the check to Casey. He seems amazed. CASEY Oh my God. 500 dollars? MARK I'd consider that generous, wouldn't you? CASEY I can't keep this. MARK You sure? Because my daughter informed me that you recently purchased a scooter. 500 dollars could buy a lot of gas and accessories. And what about your family? I mean, I know that you guys aren't doing well. This could help in some small way. Pay a few of those bi1ls off. Mark folds the check up and places it in Casey's hand. MARK Here. Don't tear it up. Just think long and hard about this. I'm sure you can find something to do with 500 dollars. Casey seems to be confused by all of this. CUT TO: INT. LUNCHROOM - NEXT DAY The Gang (minus Chris) are all sitting around, eating and chatting. REICTHER How come Chris gets to miss school? BROCK Well, I'll make you a deal. You get a crazy girlfriend that runs away and you can miss all the school you want. Brian approaches carrying a large book. WILL What's that? Brian flips the book around to show everyone. There is a large picture of Dr. Phil on the cover. BRIAN "The Ultimate Loser Solution: How to Stop Being a Waste of Air in 30 Days or Less." WILL You're actually going to read that? BRIAN Hell no. I'm going to carry it around and pretend to read it so that girls think I'm sensitive and wounded. Getting a girlfriend is the first step in my plan to becoming cooler than Mr. Ed. REICTHER I don't know, Mr. Ed is pretty cool. WILL You donít actually think that that's going to work, do you? That's so cheesy. JOEL If you carry that book around school, you will be made fun of, badly, and you wonít get any action to make the torment of that worthwhile. CASEY Please donít carry that around. If you do, I guarantee that before the day is out some big bully will kick sand in your face. BRIAN We live in the Midwest. There's no sand around here to kick. CASEY I donít care. A bully will custom order sand from Florida, have it rush-delivered to our school, take it out of its cardboard box, dump it on the floor at your feet, and then kick it in your face just for carrying around that stupid book, I swear to God. BRIAN Screw you guys. Youíre just afraid that itís going to work and then youíll be the only ones left in the group without dates. CASEY I have a girlfriend. BROCK I do, too. CASEY Really? BROCK Yeah. My girlfriend's name is Candy491, she lives at yahoo.com. She's really beautiful. Itís getting rather serious. I think Iím in love. CASEY ...right. REICTHER I donít need a girlfriend, I have Petunia, here. Reicther lovingly strokes his left hand, whispering sweetly to it. REICTHER I love you Petunia. You love me too? Oh I know you do. CASEY Gross, Reicther. CUT TO: INT. JOEL'S CAR - AFTER SCHOOL Joel is driving CATHY MATTHEWS home. The song "Raspberry Beret" by Prince is playing and Joel is singing along. Cathy is deeply involved in doing a crossword puzzle. CATHY I never thought I would ever date a straight man who loves Prince. JOEL Prince is the fucking greatest! Didn't you see "Purple Rain?" Cathy thinks. CATHY Oh yeah! That's the Steven Spielberg movie with Whoopie Goldberg as the slave right? Joel giggles and shakes his head. CATHY What? JOEL Nothing. Beat. She goes back to working on it. JOEL So what are you working on? CATHY A crossword puzzle. Ellen Conner gave them to me. She said she couldn't do them anymore. Something to do with Will ruining them for her. Whatever that means. They stop at a red light. Joel looks over at the puzzle. JOEL 5-down is handle. CATHY No itís not. There are only 5 spaces on that blank. The answer is lever. Cathy looks uncomfortable and a bit annoyed. Joel continues to look over her shoulder. JOEL 24-across is Howard. CATHY Thanks. I wasn't there yet, so I didnít have a chance to answer that clue, but thanks. CATHY No problem. Cathy looks increasingly uncomfortable. CATHY Wow, I'm sure you need to get back to focusing on the road. JOEL No, actually there seems to be a bit of a traffic jam so I'm good. Silence continues. CATHY (suddenly) Stop looking over my shoulder! JOEL What? CATHY You don't look over someoneís shoulder and do their crossword. That is bad crossword etiquette. You wait until they have asked you for help on the crossword and then you help them only on the question asked, and you never, NEVER solve a clue that the original crossword solver hasnít gotten a chance to read yet! Gosh! Joel looks stunned and confused. Ellen looks embarrassed by her outburst. CATHY Oh, I love this song. She quickly turns the radio up. She avoids eye contact. CUT TO: MUSIC MONTAGE (Tom Petty's "When a Kid Goes Bad.") EXT. ROAD - SAME Establishing shot. Chris' car is barreling down the road. CUT TO: INT. GROCERY STORE - MINUTES LATER Chris is in a small grocery store. He walks up to a YOUNG GIRL. He says something and shows a picture of Kate. The girl points to an older male worker who is holding an ice pack to his crotch. CUT TO: INT. RESTAURANT - LATER Colleen is sitting across from the general manager of the place. He is angrily describing something to her, while an icepack rests in his lap. CUT TO: INT. CHRIS' CAR - LATER It's a bit darker. Chris is still looking out his windows, in hope of finding Kate. CUT TO: INT. STORE - SAME Dorian is in a K-Mart like store. He sees a girl from behind, who looks exactly like Kate. He runs up to her, grabs her, and turns her around. The women who is obviously not Kate, hits Dorian in the mouth and stomps away. CUT TO: INT. CHRIS' CAR - LATER It's completely dark. While stopped at a light, Chris seems to be deep in thought. FADE TO: INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER (MUSICE FADE AWAY) Colleen is standing by the window. Chris enters. COLLEEN Any luck? CHRIS No. All she left behind was a trail of angry men with bruised balls. Dorian enters. DORIAN Well none of the nearby hospitals have a girl fitting Kate's description. At least she hasnít been hurt. COLLEEN That's it! I'm calling the police. DORIAN Please, Ms. Davison you don't have - COLLEEN Fuck your hippie psychologist bullshit! I need to know my daughter is okay. She leaves the room. Chris sits and yawns, which Dorian notices. DORIAN You know it's getting pretty late. You should probably head home to get some shuteye. CHRIS I'm fine. DORIAN What about your parents? They must be getting worried. CHRIS I called them and told them what's going on. Long pause. DORIAN You know Chris...you don't have to do this. Me and Kate's mom can finish looking for her. And after she calls the police, we'll have a lot more man power. (beat) You can go home and just relax. We'll call you when we find her. Chris gives him a very serious look. CHRIS I want to stay. CUT TO: EXT. JENNINGS HOME - LATER Casey is walking up the driveway, deep in thought. CASEY Trying to bribe me. Like I really need the money. Casey enters his house. CUT TO: INT. JENNINGS HOME - CONTINUOUS Casey enters the kitchen. His father JOHN JENNINGS sits at the kitchen table, looking over some bills. JOHN Hey Case, good news. My buddy says he can fix your scooter. CASEY That's great. JOHN But you're going to have to be patient. The whole thing is going to cost around 500 dollars so we're going to have save up a bit. CASEY Oh. Casey leaves the room. CASEY (V/O) That wasn't a temptation. Probably just a coincidence. CUT TO: INT. JENNINGS HOME - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Casey enters. His mother, JANICE JENNINGS is packing up some boxes. CASEY Whatcha doin' mom? JANICE I'm going to sell this stuff. CASEY What? Why? JANICE Your genius of a father forgot to pay the heating and telephone bill. So now we owe them 500 dollars or we donít get a phone or hot water. Casey seems a little confused, and a bit tempted. CASEY (V/O) Don't give in. Remember, this is all for Kay. All for Kay. Casey starts to leave when his little sister, KATIE JENNINGS appears. KATIE Hey, Casey. Mind answering this magazine survey? CASEY (distracted) Um, sure. KATIE Okay. (reads) What would you do if you suddenly found 500 dollars? Casey screams. CASEY STOP FUCKING TEMPTING ME YOU SON OF A BITCH! Casey storms off. Katie seems taken aback. KATIE Mom! Casey called me a son of a bitch again! CUT TO: INT. JOEL'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - SAME Joel enters the kitchen. His mother MARGIE MAYBERRY is sitting at the kitchen table working on a paper. Joel grabs something from the fridge. MARGIE Hi honey. JOEL Hey mom. MARGIE (preoccupied) Did you learn anything interesting at school today? JOEL Women are really sensitive about their crosswords. MARGIE Nonsense, dear. There is the crossword from the newspaper spread out on the table, the same one that Cathy was working on. JOEL 24-across is Howard. MARGIE What? Dammit! I actually knew that one! You should have let me figure it out by myself. I wasnít even there yet! JOEL Jesus! Iím sorry I ó MARGIE Don't you know that itís rude to solve a clue that the solver hasnít gotten a chance to read yet? JOEL So I've been told. I'm going upstairs, Iíve had quite enough insanity for today. MARGIE Oh, insanity! Thatís what 7-down is. Margie goes back to her crossword. Joel seems completely freaked out by all of this. CUT TO: INT. LUNCHROOM - NEXT MORNING Brian Vandele is sitting at the breakfast table with Will, Brock, and Reicther. The Dr. Phil book is in front of him on the table. BROCK So did it work? Did Dr. Phil magically change you from a loser to a real boy? BRIAN No, Iím still a loser. REICTHER (mock sympathy) Aw, what happened? Did Dr. Phil let you down? BRIAN No he didnít. You guys just freaked me out so bad yesterday morning that I didn't use the book to its full advantage. Today, Iím really going to go for it. Iím going to show this book to every woman I come in contact with. Women love this guy. It has to work. REICTHER There is something very disturbing about you using Dr. Phil to try to get women. WILL I agree. Leave the bald man out of it. BRIAN Shut up. I swear it's going to work, youíll see. FADE TO: INT. ART ROOM - LATER Brian hold Dr. Phil book to his chest, aiming it at every girl he passes and smiling oddly. The girls seem more creeped out at him than anything. Brian sees that the book is not having the desired effect, and begins to grow frustrated. He hold the book in front of his face and addresses it. BRIAN You fat bald bastard, why wonít you work? Wide shot. We see that Brian is throwing his tantrum in front of a girl, sitting down at a nearby table, who seems vaguely interested in what Brian has to say. The girl is named Emily. BRIAN I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! You are a disgrace to mustache wearing men all over the world! Tom Selleck is ashamed of you! Chuck Norris loathes you! Even Hitler wonít claim you! If I could grow facial hair I swear to God I would feel the same! I ó EMILY I know exactly what you mean. How do people like that get famous? BRIAN What? Oh...yeah. All that he does is get unpleasant people to come on his show, and then he tells them theyíre unpleasant. How many brain cells does that take? EMILY A five year old could do his job. BRIAN I donít get why heís rich and famous. Who let him on television? EMILY I blame Oprah. BRIAN That black bitch. Brian looks appraisingly at Emily. BRIAN I'm sorry, I donít know your name. EMILY It's Emily. BRIAN Oh, well Iím Brian. EMILY Hello, Brian. So tell me all about your traumatic experiences with Dr. Phil. I've never seen anyone so impassioned about the bald bastard. Iím intrigued. BRIAN How much time do you have? Brian sits down next to Emily, who smiles affectionately. CUT TO: EXT. JOHNSON HOUSE - AFTER SCHOOL Establishing shot. Casey stands at the front door. CUT TO: INT. JOHNSON HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS We can hear the doorbell ring. KAY JOHNSON enters. KAY Coming! Kay opens the door to reveal Casey who holding dozens upon dozens of roses, balloons, and other assorted goods. CASEY Surprise! KAY Oh my God! He hands her the roses. KAY How many - CASEY (overlapping) How many roses? Three dozen. He then hands her the balloons. Kay is completely shocked by all this. KAY What's all this for? CASEY To show how much I love you. She smiles. Just at that moment, Mark enters from another room. KAY Casey how did you afford all this? CASEY Your father. He felt so bad about our little dinner mishap that he wanted to make up in some way. So he gave me some money to so I could treat you right. A giant smile comes across Kay's face. She hugs Casey. KAY I love you so much, Casey. Casey smiles and looks over at Mark. He has taken out a piece of a paper and written: "Jesus Will Get You For This." Casey's smile quickly fades. CASEY I love you too, Kay. FADE TO: EXT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - SAME Chris is leaving through the front door. CHRIS Don't worry. I'll be right back. Just going for a walk. He slowly starts to walk down the sidewalk. He hangs his head low, defeated. He sighs. FADE TO: EXT. SIDEWALK - MINUTES LATER Chris is still walking with his head down. He looks over and suddenly notices something. CHRIS (to himself) Kate? CHRIS' POV: There's a playground about a block away. There's a girl sitting on the swing who looks like Kate. Chris begins to walk toward the playground. FADE TO: INT. PLAYGROUND - SECONDS LATER Kate Davidson is in fact the girl sitting on the swing. Chris slowly comes up. Kate turns and smiles at him. He smiles back and takes the swing seat next to her. Ironically, they've come back to the place were they first met. KATE Hey, Chris. CHRIS Hey, Kate. Beat. CHRIS Whatcha doin' here? KATE Well, I thought to myself...where's the last place they would look for a crazy person and then it hit me... the park. Chris laughs. Beat. CHRIS You feeling okay? KATE Yeah. You know I was walking around last night and I was afraid to go home. I was actually in great fear to go home. You know why? Chris shakes his head. KATE Because I thought someone was out to get me. (forcefully chuckles) It was about then I realized that, yes I am a bit insane in the membrane. Chris laughs. Beat. KATE I'm sorry, Chris. For everything I've put you through. CHRIS Oh, Kate. It's okay. They hug. Kate suddenly starts to chuckle. KATE You know this whole thing reminds me of joke. CHRIS What is it? KATE Two inmates are trying to escape a mental institution. They are trying to work out how to get over to the next building, outside the institution, one inmate leaps across, but the second is afraid of falling. The first says "I'll turn on this flashlight, and you can walk along the light beam to get across." The second inmate replies, "What are you crazy? I'm not falling for that; you'll turn the flashlight off when I'm halfway across." Kate lets out a small laugh, while Chris smiles. ZAP! Dorian has come up behind her and tasered her. She quickly collapses. Chris jumps to his feet and looks greatly confused at Dorian, who seems to be privately celebrating. CHRIS What the hell?! DORIAN Everyone relax. I got her sedated. CHRIS What the fuck did you do that for!? DORIAN Trust me when I tell you Chris, from a medical stance she has a bad diagnosis of kicking people in the balls. CHRIS You didn't have to do that. I got her calmed down. Dorian stops smiling and realizes his mistake. DORIAN Oh...you did. Beat. DORIAN Oops. CHRIS Oops!? You taser a teenage girl and that's all you have to say!? DORIAN Look we can stand here and argue about who zapped who or you can help me drag her to the car. Chris sighs in frustration. TIME FADE TO: INT. VAN - HOUR LATER Dr. Dorian is driving the van. In the very back sit Chris and Kate. Kate is wrapped in a blanket, leaning up against Chris. He has his arm tightly wrapped around her. Chris and Kate quietly talk to each other. KATE Are we almost there? CHRIS About another block or so. Beat. KATE Chris... CHRIS Yeah? KATE Do me a favor. CHRIS Anything. Beat. KATE Be careful. CHRIS (confused) Of what? KATE Nothing in particular. Just...keep a steady frame of mind. Don't let this happen to you. CHRIS It's not going to happen to me. Beat. KATE You have no way of knowing for sure. The van slows down to a stop. KATE Remember...all it takes is one bad day for anyone to go mad. Chris gives her a concerned look. DORIAN (O.S.) Okay. We're here. Kate looks around. She forces a chuckle. KATE Home, sweet home. (turns to Chris) We should probably get my bags out. Chris is still thinking about what she said. KATE Chris? CHRIS Yeah. Definitely. Chris moves and gets out of the van. FADE TO: INT. LUNCHROOM - NEXT MORNING Will, Reicther, Brock, Casey, Joel, Brian, and Emily all sit around the table. Emily and Brian are sitting very close. She is working intently on a paper. Brian is leaning across the table to talk quietly with Will and Casey. WILL Are you so desperate to prove us wrong that you would really pay a girl to sit with you? BRIAN Yes I am. But I didn't have to pay this girl. The book worked...in a roundabout way. CASEY It did not. I donít buy that for a second. Dr. Phil couldnít possibly have gotten you a real date, a sympathy friend, perhaps, but not a date. That girl is here out of pity. BRIAN Oh really? (to Emily) Hey Emily, what movie did you want to go see tomorrow night? EMILY Oh, I donít care, hon. You pick. That new Ron Howard movie looks good, though. JOEL Please donít mention Ron Howard. That bastard got me in trouble twice the other day. CASEY Don't call Ron Howard a bastard. BROCK I thought you liked Ron Howard? JOEL Not anymore. Ron Howard is dead to me. 24-across... (beat) ...you bastard. BRIAN Alright then...back to my gloating. I've got the satisfaction of knowing I was right about the book, the joy of having proven all you assholes wrong, and, oh yeah, a hot date for Friday night. Brian laughs in victory. BRIAN That is correct. I was right and you were wrong. My strategy worked. I have a date. Your strategy failed. You are lonely and sad and pathetic. You may as well name your left hand Petunia and build a shack in the woods, because you are looking at a life of loneliness as a strange, flannel-wearing hermit. Youíre like Reictherís long lost twin brother, youíre so path ó WILL Shut up and give me the fucking book. BRIAN Really? WILL Hand it over. Will takes the book and runs off camera. WILL (off camera) Hey Ellen! Brian shrugs and looks over at Emily, who has heard none of their conversation because she is so engrossed in her work. BRIAN 12-down is Ďsawbuck.í She puts down the paper to reveal that it is a crossword. Emily looks up, suddenly very serious. EMILY This isn't going to work out. She stands and begins to leave. Brian gets up and chases after her. BRIAN Wait, baby! I can change. The Gang start to laugh. FADE TO: INT. BATHROOM - SAME (BEGIN SONG: Nirvana's "All Apologizes") Chris stands at the sink, with a depressed look on his face. He stares in the mirror. He looks completely tired and restless, like the world's on his shoulder. CHRIS ...One bad day. Chris looks around and slowly makes an exit. FADE OUT. END OF EPISODE
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