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THE LUNCHROOM
Episode Fifteen
"Writing Wrongs"
Written by
Bruce Snyder & Edward Drogos
Created by
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Vincent Biga
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Edward Drogos
STORY EDITOR
Rebecca Parker
CONSULTING PRODUCER
Max Majernik
CAST LIST
Will Cooper.................................
Joel Mayberry...............................
Brian Vandele...............................
Brock Warner................................
Reicther....................................
Casey Jennings..............................
Chris Hughes................................
Ellen Conner................................
Cathy Matthews..............................
Mr. John Parker.............................
GUEST CAST LIST
Ms. Diane Ballard...........................
Kate Davidson...............................
Dr. Peter Dorian............................
Lois Warner.................................
Anne Baxter.................................
Copyright © Bruce Snyder
TEASER:
FADE IN:
INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY
WILL COOPER and ELLEN CONNER turn the corner, and walk
down the hallway. They seem to be in the middle of an
argument.
WILL
C'mon! Why won't you watch it?
ELLEN
Because it's a fucking prequel
that's why!
WILL
"Batman Begins" is not a prequel,
it's...more of a reboot.
ELLEN
No, it's a prequel.
WILL
So what if it is! What's your
problem with prequels anyway?
ELLEN
Because they're stupid! If this
Batman story was so good, why
didn't they make this the first
Batman movie, instead of the Tim
Burton one?
Will struggles to reply.
ELLEN
If you have a good story to tell
before the main one, then tell it
first! Don't wait until a later
date to tell it!
Beat.
WILL
Next you're going to tell me "The
Flintstones" prequel was bad.
ELLEN
Don't even get me started on
Stephen Baldwin as Barney.
They turn the corner.
CUT TO:
INT. WARNER HOME - BROCK'S ROOM - SAME
Brock is lying on his bed, with a bathrobe on. Next to
him on the nightstand is a bowl of tomato soup. It
appears that Brock has stayed home sick today. Brock is
quietly sleeping.
Suddenly there is a POUNDING sound coming from his wall.
It continues for a few seconds before Brock finally
starts to wake up. Dazed, Brock looks around confused.
BROCK
What the...?
The pounding intensifies. Suddenly...BOOM. A samurai
sword which was hanging from the wall has fallen off and
hit Brock in the head.
BROCK
Ow!
Brock, frustrated, gets up and leaves the room.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - SAME
Will and Ellen are walking down the hallway.
WILL
What do we have to see Ms. Ballard
for?
ELLEN
She wants us to get fitted for our
costumes.
WILL
(fake excitement)
I just can't wait!
ELLEN
Oh come on. You know you want to
dress up like a hairy Hungarian.
WILL
Please Ellen. Even Hungarians don't
want to look like Hungarians.
She giggles. They reach the door.
CUT TO:
INT. WARNER HOUSE - HALLWAY - SAME
Brock walks up to his mom's room, where we can hear
where the loud pounding is coming from. Brock knocks a
little.
BROCK
Mom?
No response except for more pounding. He reaches for the
handle.
CUT TO:
SPLIT SCREEN:
On the left side of the screen we see Will and Ellen and
on the right it's Brock. Ellen and Brock both reach for
door handles at the same time and open them. When both
doors are opened we hear moaning and groaning. All three
characters look absolutely terrified at what they're
seeing. Will and Ellen scream and cover their eyes.
Brock doesn't move from his position. Almost like he's
catatonic. The moans stop and we even hear an "Oh Jesus"
coming from one of them.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - SAME
Will and Ellen are running down the hallway, screaming.
Suddenly MR. JOHN PARKER emerges from the classroom,
with his pants around his ankles, chasing after the two.
PARKER
Conner! Cooper! Get back here!
He falls onto his face.
SMASH CUT TO:
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:
Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the
credits.
AFTER CREDITS:
FADE IN:
INT. SCHOOL - COMPUTER CLASS - LATER THAT DAY
BRIAN VANDELE sits at his computer station in his computer
class. Brian has AIM open, and sends a chat invitation
to CASEY JENNINGS.
Casey AIM's back: "What?"
The screen splits into two, showing Casey also at a
computer.
Brian: "I want to show you something."
Casey: "Again, what?"
Reicther signs on and the screen splits into three
showing them all sitting in front of computers.
Reicther: "What are you two doing?"
Brian: "I want to show you two something."
REICTHER
I'm sitting right next to you.
The three screens merges into one to show that Brian,
Casey and Reicther are sitting next to each other in
their computer class.
REICTHER (CONT'D)
And to be honest, I've already seen
enough of you in gym class.
BRIAN
Look at this site.
CASEY
Yeah, I've been there before. Those
pictures aren't real, I mean
you can tell by her -
BRIAN
(overlapping)
No, look it's a novel site. They
have hundreds of novels that people
wrote and posted on here.
REICTHER
God, aren't the libraries filled
with enough books? Do you really
need more on the internet?
BRIAN
Well you can post your work in
progress and people can comment on
it.
CASEY
So are you going to put your
fantasy book thing on it?
BRIAN
It's called "Demon of Truth: The
Chronicles of Haven" and it is an
epic science-fantasy novel...and I
think I will. It might help to get
some constructive criticism on it.
REICTHER
So what I said about it means
nothing?
BRIAN
You never read it. I gave you a
copy but you wanted to see if you
could cover your whole entire
room with paper shredding.
Reicther smiles.
REICTHER
That was a good day.
BRIAN (CONT'D)
Look, there are like 1000 members
on it. Where else can I get 1000
people to read my work and comment
on it?
CASEY
Sounds cool.
BRIAN
I think I will do it.
REICTHER
Okay, now that picture has to be
real.
Brian and Casey lean over to Reicther's computer and
look at the screen.
CUT TO:
INT. PARKER'S ROOM - LATER
Will and Ellen are sitting in two desks. Ellen is biting
her nails, while Will is rocking himself back and forth.
Both seem to be very upset by what they saw earlier.
Across from them, sit Parker and MS. DIANE BALLARD who
also sit in desks. Both Parker and Ballard seem to be
messy, as their hair is a bit frizzed and some of their
clothes are unbuttoned.
PARKER
I understand you kids might be...
well, a bit upset by what you saw.
ELLEN
Mr. Obvious over here.
BALLARD
Now, by all means, we do not accept
behavior like this. I hope we
haven't encouraged you to do
something like this.
WILL
Encouraged!? Lady I think you guys
reversed puberty for me. My balls
have actually receded back up
inside of me.
PARKER
Again, sorry you had to see that.
ELLEN
Well I just hope I can have a body as
good as yours when I'm in my forties.
BALLARD
(offended)
I'm only thirty five.
ELLEN
(embarrassed)
Well it certainly doesn't show.
Beat.
WILL
Why would you guys do that? In the
middle of the day, no less?
Beat.
PARKER
I accidentally fell into her.
Ballard smacks him.
PARKER
Fine! We did it because we both
have a free period together.
WILL
This is just too much. C'mon, Ellen
lets go.
Will and Ellen both stand and head for the door.
BALLARD
Where are you two going?
ELLEN
In sports terms, I think they call
it "walking it off."
WILL
Man, the guys are never going to
believe this.
Parker and Ballard shoot each other worried looks.
PARKER
Wait! What do you mean by that,
Cooper?
Will and Ellen stop at the door and turn back to them.
WILL
It's just that my friends won't
believe me when I tell them about
this.
BALLARD
You two can't tell anyone.
ELLEN
Why not?
PARKER
Because if you tell anyone, you
automatically fail high school.
Ballard hits him in the arm.
BALLARD
I think you do better when you
don't speak.
PARKER
Well if you would stop being so
condescending, then everyone wins.
Will realizes something.
WILL
Wait a minute! I know why we can't
talk.
ELLEN
Because this was the most disturbing
thing we've ever seen and not talking
about it will help us forget?
WILL
They'll lose their jobs!
PARKER
Hey, Cooper caught on. Diane, call
Ripley's because he ain't going to
believe this.
WILL
(greatly confused)
Ripley?
ELLEN
So it's true?
BALLARD
Yes. It's goes against certain
school policies.
ELLEN
You know what this means, Will?
WILL
What's it mean?
ELLEN
The fate of their careers lies in
our hands.
PARKER
True. I always knew that you two
would play some part in me being
exiled from this place.
Will and Ellen smile. They seem to have an upper hand.
BALLARD
What if we were to give you some
kind of compensation for not
speaking of this...ever...ever,
ever...fucking ever again?
Will and Ellen seem curious.
ELLEN
What kind of compensation?
Ballard thinks.
BALLARD
Um...
(beat)
One moment.
Grabs Parker and pulls him off to the corner.
BALLARD
(quietly)
Okay now it's time to play the game
"What's My Job Worth to Me."
PARKER
Let me think. Low paying job with
ungrateful little bastards that
kill my self esteem.
(beat)
Wait why am I afraid of them
telling?
BALLARD
Because if they tell we probably
won't be allowed anywhere near this
place again.
PARKER
(excited)
Is that a promise?
Ballard sighs. She turns back to Will and Ellen.
BALLARD
Well how about this. You go home
tonight, sleep on it, and tomorrow
tell us what you want.
WILL
Like what?
BALLARD
Whatever you want. We'll try our
hardest to get.
Will and Ellen seem really happy.
BALLARD
Deal?
ELLEN
You got it.
She shakes hands with Ballard. The bell rings. Will and
Ellen depart, talking to each other.
PARKER
I'd just like to point out that this
is the worst idea in the history of
ideas.
CUT TO:
INT. WARNER HOME - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER
Brock is sitting on the couch. His eyes and mouth are
wide open. He doesn't move at all. In fact he appears to
be catatonic. Across from him stands his mother, LOIS
WARNER who is wearing a bathrobe. ANNE BAXTER enters the
room, just putting on her T-shirt.
LOIS
Um...well, Brock...
Beat.
LOIS
I'm sorry that you walked in on
that. But it is a very natural and
beautiful thing. In fact I have
some charts somewhere to explain
this.
ANNE
(confused)
You have charts about sex?
LOIS
It makes sex easy to explain to the
boys.
Anne, a bit freaked out, leaves the room. Lois notices
that her son hasn't moved or spoken. She goes over and
sits next to him.
LOIS
Brock, honey? You okay?
(beat)
Sweetie?
(beat)
You want me to get you something to
feel better?
(beat)
You want a coke?
(beat)
You wanna watch some TV?
(beat)
You wanna cookie?
(beat)
That sound good?
(beat)
Okay I'll go get you a cookie.
Lois gets up and leaves the room. Brock continues to
stare and not move a muscle.
CUT TO:
EXT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - AFTER SCHOOL
CHRIS HUGHES emerges from the school. Most of the cars
have left the lot. Chris seems to be looking around for
someone.
CHRIS
(calling out)
Kate?
(beat)
Kate!
KATE (O.S.)
Over here!
Chris turns around and notices that Kate is up in a tree
near the building.
KATE
Hey, Chris.
CHRIS
What are you doing up there?
KATE
Hiding out.
CHRIS
From who?
KATE
The world. Which seems to be
constantly shitting on me.
Chris sighs.
CHRIS
Come on down and let's talk about
it.
CUT TO:
INT. CHRIS' CAR - MINUTES LATER
Chris is driving while Kate is sitting in the
passenger's seat. She reaches into her pocket and pulls
out a piece of paper.
CHRIS
What's this?
KATE
Application papers for Eastern
Psych.
Beat.
CHRIS
The mental institution?
KATE
Yep. My mom thinks I should go
there.
CHRIS
What? Why?
KATE
Our family doctor, Peter Dorian,
thinks I'm showing no signs of
improvement so he thinks I should
go back for some treatment.
CHRIS
I'm sorry baby.
Kate seems sad.
CHRIS
Well, what I've learned from my
time here in America is that
everyone in some small way is out
of their fucking minds. So you
shouldn't take it so badly.
KATE
Yeah, I know. But I'm still
depressed. I just need to find the
biggest tub of cashews known to man
and just go nuts.
Chris shoots her a look.
CHRIS
That was a really bad pun, Kate.
A smile comes across her face.
KATE
I know.
They both start to laugh.
CUT TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - NIGHT
Brian surfs around the SimplyNovels site and goes to the
REGISTER HERE page.
He types in his screen name 'thebrianvandele' and a
password. He clicks next and is taken to the SUBMIT YOUR
NOVEL page.
Brian takes out a CD from a large stack on his desk,
puts it into the computer and selects "Demon of Truth:
Chapters 1-13 on the screen and uploads it to the site.
He selects that it is a 'work in progress' and clicks
next and now has to enter in a short synopsis of his
novel.
BRIAN
(talking as he types)
John Dawson, an everyday...no, an
average transfer student from the
Midwest in China discovers the
fulfillment of his destiny as well
as the details of his quest to save
the world from the evil Lord Haven...
(he reads it over
to himself again)
Perfect.
Brian clicks next and is taken to the comment forum for
"Demon of Truth: The Chronicles of Haven" by Brian
Vandele.
BRIAN (CONT'D)
Cool.
He goes to the main page where he sees that there are 8
members currently online. He looks at the clock, it's
just after 10 P. M.
BRIAN (CONT'D)
I'll give them a couple of hours,
it's a pretty long story.
Brian gets up and goes to his bed. He picks up the alarm
clock and sets it. He turns off the light and lays down.
FADE TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
It is 11:59 P. M. and after a second the clock turns to
Midnight and the alarm goes off. Brian immediately gets
up and goes over to the computer. He logs on to
SimplyNovels and looks for his novel. His thread is
halfway down the TOP 25 LIST with 7 views but no
comments.
Brian looks confused for a second, and then goes back to
bed. He sets his alarm again and lays back down.
FADE TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - LATER
The alarm clock goes off at 2 A. M. Brian hits the
snooze as he slowly gets up and walks over to the
computer. He hits refresh and the "Demon of Truth"
thread now has 20 views and 1 comment. Brian blinks
sleepily and starts to go back to bed. But after a
second he stops and runs back to the computer. He clicks
on the new comment and reads it.
BRIAN
(reading)
Hey, funny title, ha-ha LOL.
He scrolls down to the end of the page, and then back to
the top but there is nothing else.
BRIAN (CONT'D)
That's it!
Brian sits there, thinking what to do.
BRIAN (CONT'D)
(to himself,
as he types)
Hey, thanks! The title is something
that I'm working on. I could change
it at any time to make it fit with
the story better...I know I posted
a big chunk of the novel, so I
understand it may take a while to
work through it... So, I look
forward to hearing your feedback.
He posts it and sits back in his chair.
CUT TO:
INT. LUNCHROOM - NEXT DAY
Brock is sitting in a chair just staring ahead. He
doesn't move at all. Joel, Casey, and Reicther are
studying him, seemingly surprised by this new Brock.
JOEL
So he just...doesn't move?
CASEY
Yeah. He came in this morning and
was whispering "My God. My God.
Someone poke my eyes out."
JOEL
Wow. Must have seen something
horrible.
Suddenly, with no reason, Reicther slaps Brock in the
face.
CASEY
What the hell did you do that for?
REICTHER
Come on. It's me...Reicther.
Personally I'd be surprised if I
didn't do that.
JOEL
Good point.
Will enters with a notebook and devilish smile.
CLOSE UP ON LIST:
It reads "Things I Want." While we can't make out a lot
of things on the list we can clearly see that two of the
things are "Ashton Kutcher Dead" and "Halle Berry."
Reicther takes notice.
REICTHER
What's that?
WILL
A list.
REICTHER
What kind of list?
WILL
Can't tell.
Reicther and Joel look at each other.
JOEL
A nerdy misfit making a suspicious
list. I'm sure people won't take
notice.
REICTHER
I wouldn’t start worrying yet. Will
hasn't invested much in his
trenchcoat collection.
CASEY
A Columbine joke? Really?
After a second, Chris enters and sits down.
CHRIS
Guys, I need you to be honest with
me.
CASEY
Um, okay. Your accent freaks me out.
JOEL
You apologize way too much.
WILL
You don't say enough British slang.
Call it a 'loo' for Christ's sakes!
Long pause. Everyone waits for Reicther.
REICTHER
Oh my God! I've got nothing.
Shock comes to the faces of the others.
REICTHER
I'm just as concerned as you guys.
CHRIS
Not about me. It's about Kate.
WILL
Oh she's a great girl. Pretty.
Funny.
CHRIS
Do you guys...think she's crazy?
WILL
(overlapping)
Oh fuck yes!
JOEL
(overlapping)
She's crazy!
CASEY
(overlapping)
She's nuttier then squirrel shit.
Again they all wait for Reicther who again says nothing.
REICTHER
Oh my God! What's wrong with me
today!
Chris seems a bit surprised.
CHRIS
You guys really think that?
JOEL
Chris, how many times has she
endangered your life?
Beat.
CHRIS
Only once or twice...
(quietly)
...or a dozen.
WILL
How many stitches have you gotten
since you started dating her?
CHRIS
Only four. To be fair one of those
times wasn't because she was crazy.
WILL
Really?
CHRIS
Yeah. It was because she took too
many pills and fell asleep at the
wheel.
Will, Chris, and Casey give him a look. Reicther seems
concerned about something else.
REICHTER
(to himself)
I'm losing my touch.
CASEY
What brought this on, Chris?
CHRIS
Kate's mom wants to send her to a
mental institution.
WILL
No offense but that sounds like a
good idea.
CHRIS
(offended)
How is that a good idea?
Brian comes in and sits down.
BRIAN
Guys, I feel down.
JOEL
Brian, can it wait? Chris is having
a bit of a problem.
BRIAN
So am I! No one is reading my
book.
CASEY
Maybe it's because it sucks.
Reicther hits Casey.
REICTHER
STOP STEALING MY THUNDER!
CHRIS
Seriously Brian, I need their help
more then you.
BRIAN
I've been here longer, Frenchy.
CHRIS
(slightly
confused)
I'm British, you twat.
BRIAN
British, French. They all smell bad
in the end.
The bell rings. Brian and Chris seems disappointed.
JOEL
Well, look at that. You both have
unsolved problems now.
Brian and Chris mutter something under their breathes.
The Gang starts to depart except for Brock who doesn't
move an inch. After a few seconds, Casey and Joel return.
JOEL
(sighing)
You get the legs, I'll get the
shoulders.
The two go over and begin to pick Brock up.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL - COMPUTER CLASSROOM - LATER
Brian runs into the classroom and to his computer. He
signs on to SimplyNovels and goes over to his thread to
check on it.
There are 26 views, but no new messages.
BRIAN
What?
Reicther walks up behind him.
REICTHER
Your novel blowing up the site?
BRIAN
No. No one has commented on it yet.
REICTHER
Oh, so I guess it just blows then.
Brian has to ignore this because the rest of the class
and the teacher walk in. Brian stares at the SimplyNovels
home page. The flashing REGISTER HERE button catches his
eye and he gets an idea.
CUT TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME OFFICE - LATER
Brian is in the office using the other computer. He
clicks the REGISTER HERE button and types in the user
name 'lilscotty4784'and a password. He pauses for a
minute and then clicks register.
He goes to the 'Demon of Truth' thread and begins
furiously typing.
INT. VANDELE HOME - STAIRWAY/HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
Brian walks up the stairs and down the hall back into
his bedroom.
INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
He walks over to his computer and signs on as
'thebrianvandele' and goes to his thread (now his home
page.)
BRIAN
(he types)
Well, thanks for asking. If you
must know...
INT. VANDELE HOME - STAIRWAY/HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER
Brian walks out of his room and down stairs and back
into the office.
INT. VANDELE HOME OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Brian types.
BRIAN
Yeah, I love a little background on
such emotionally deep characters,
and with such a involving story, I
just wasn't sure. Thanks...
He smiles and types on.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - NEXT DAY
Will and Ellen are walking down the hallway, toward
Ballard's room.
WILL
Okay, in honor of this made a list
of things we would want.
ELLEN
A list? Aw, you're cute.
WILL
We've got to be careful and pick
the best thing.
She grabs the list and begins to look it over.
ELLEN
Why is Halle Berry's name on here
like five times?
WILL
Okay, forget the list.
ELLEN
Oh! Someone really likes Halle Berry.
She starts poking him.
WILL
I do not!
PARKER
I can't believe we're actually
doing this.
BALLARD
Pardon me for valuing my job.
PARKER
You and you're stupid need to teach.
Will and Ellen appear.
PARKER
Well if it isn't Eva Braun and her
hubby Adolf.
WILL
(confused)
Wasn't she on "American Idol?"
BALLARD
Have you two decided on what you
want?
WILL
We have a list of a few things we
want.
Ellen notices the ring pop.
ELLEN
Hey! What's that?
PARKER
Oh, it's some ring pop I
confiscated from some freshmen.
ELLEN
Oh can I have it!
PARKER
Deal!
Parker tosses it to Ellen.
PARKER
Pleasure doing business with you
two.
WILL
Wait, what?! We didn't make any
requests yet!
BALLARD
Technically Ellen did. She
requested the ring pop.
PARKER
My colleague here is right. We said
any one thing you wanted. Ellen
said ring pop. She got. Deal is
done.
Will looks extremely pissed off. Ellen looks
embarrassed. The bell rings.
BALLARD
Oh, that's the bell you kids better
get to class.
Will and Ellen begin walk away. Will seems disappointed
and shots Ellen a very angry look.
ELLEN
Wanna lick my ring pop?
Will doesn't respond and just keeps walking.
CUT TO:
EXT. STORE - LATER THAT NIGHT
Chris's car pulls up into one of the spaces.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
Chris is looking for change, while Kate sits in the
passenger seat. She looks a little tired.
CHRIS
I'm going in for a cream soda.
KATE
Can you get me some candy?
CHRIS
Sure.
Chris leaves the car.
CUT TO:
EXT. STORE - FIVE MINUTES LATER
Chris walks out of the store, deep in thought. He walks
over and enters his car.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
Chris settles himself in his seat. Kate has fallen
asleep and lies her head against the window.
CHRIS
You know, I never could grasp it.
What's the difference between
butter and I Can't Believe It's Not
Butter? When I tasted it inside
they were exactly alike. Anyway
here's a Milky Way Bar.
He notices that she's sleeping.
CHRIS
Kate?
(beat)
I get her a candy bar and she goes to
sleep.
Pushes her and her wrists show, she’s slit them.
CHRIS
Oh shit...this isn't good.
CUT TO:
INT. ER - MINUTES LATER
Everything is seems unusually quiet. There are some
doctors checking their charts and some nurses are
filling out paper work. Then all of a sudden Chris
BREAKS through the door carrying Kate. Blood is now
POURING from her arms.
CHRIS
Help me! I need a doctor!
Some doctors and nurses rush over.
DOCTOR #1
Quick! Someone get room one ready!
The doctors grab her and begin running down the hallway.
Chris tries to keep up.
DOCTOR #2
What happened to her?!
CHRIS
Um...she fell.
DOCTOR #1
On to what? A wild wolverine?
DOCTOR #2
Stay here son. We'll take care of her.
Chris stops and as the Doctors take her into Intensive
Care. He watches until he they are completely out of
sight.
CUT TO:
INT. BRIAN'S CAR - NEXT DAY
Brian is driving Casey home.
CASEY
How is your pretending to be
someone else and lying going to
get you popular?
BRIAN
It is amazing! Look, see this way,
I can get interest. If I can keep
it in the top 10 threads then
people will think it's really
popular and read it.
(beat)
It's self promotion.
CASEY
It's misleading you audience.
BRIAN
Well, when I receive the Nobel Prize
for Writing, I'll be sure to forget
to thank you.
CASEY
There is no Nobel Prize for Writing,
but when you get sued for plagiarism,
I'll be sure not to bail you out.
Brian pulls up to Casey's house, and Casey is about to
get out.
BRIAN
Hey.
CASEY
What?
BRIAN
Do you think I'm a good writer?
CASEY
(after a moment)
Yes Brian...You're good enough,
you're smart enough, and doggone
it, people like you.
Casey slams the door closed leaving Brian.
CUT TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME- BRIAN'S ROOM - LATER
Brian signs on to Simply Novels. On the screen, Brian
sees that he has 5 new posts on this book thread.
BRIAN
God damn it, people do like me.
He clicks on the thread and begins to read. His face
changes from expectant to very worried as he reads on.
BRIAN (CONT'D)
Oh crap.
(he begins to type)
Whoa, wait a minute guys. I don't
know how you got this idea that I'm
posting as someone else. It's just
a coincidence that Scotty posts 90
seconds after I do...nothing more
than that. I've never met this
Scabby, or whatever, guy before...
(pause)
But, I hope all this confusion
doesn't deter anyone from reading
my novel. I'll have the rest up in
a few days.
He posts this and gets up about to leave the room. He
stops in the door frame and checks his watch. He sighs
and waits, watching the time on his watch.
INT. VANDELE HOME OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Brian talks to himself as he types.
BRIAN
Wow, I wasn't expecting that this
afternoon. I guess that since Brian
and I are the same age, our posts
could be confused as coming from
the same person, but I've never met
Brian before. I live in Australia,
and by the way, I can't wait for
the next chapters! G'Night, mate!
Brian posts this and sits back looking a little worried.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL - HALLWAY - LATER
Chris waits outside Kate's room. Suddenly a young man in
his mid-thirties with short brown approaches. This is
DR. PETER DORIAN.
DORIAN
Is this Kate Davidson's room?
CHRIS
Yes.
DORIAN
I'm Peter Dorian. I'm Kate's
psychiatrist.
CHRIS
I'm her boyfriend, Chris.
They shake hands.
DORIAN
You want to tell me why she tried
to kill herself last night?
CHRIS
Suicide? She didn't try to commit
suicide.
DORIAN
Really?
CHRIS
Yeah. She just, uh...tripped.
DORIAN
Tripped?
CHRIS
Yeah...onto some knives.
Beat.
DORIAN
So let me get this straight she got
self inflicted slash wounds because
she accidentally tripped in your
car?
CHRIS
Right on the nose, doc.
Dorian gives him a look.
CHRIS
What? I don't see any plot holes in
that.
DORIAN
Look, I know you're trying to
protect her but you just can't in
this case. Sorry to tell you this
but Kate is going to go to Eastern
Psych. This incident just proves
that she isn't making any progress
towards recovery.
Chris seems upset but defeated.
CHRIS
Yeah...I understand.
DORIAN
I'll start the paperwork. We'll
probably take her out there by the
end of next week.
Chris nods and then looks into Kate's room. She's fast
asleep with bandages around her arms.
CUT TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
It's after 10 p. m. and Brian is sitting in front of his
computer. No new comments have been posted. His AIM
window pops up on the screen. 'ReictherIsAGod35' wants
to chat. Brian accepts.
ReictherIsAGod35 : You've been outed.
Brian signs off and after a moment begins typing on
Simply Novels.
BRIAN
(typing)
Alright, look. I may have tried a
new and possibly deceiving way of
publicizing my novel. But me and my
friends thought this place would be
great to get some feedback on my
work, and in order to get more
interest, Scotty needed to help.
But now, Scotty won’t be back and I
hope all this can be forgotten.
He posts this.
FADE TO:
MUSIC MONTAGE
(Five For Fighting's "Superman.")
INT. SCHOOL - COMPUTER CLASSROOM - NEXT MORNING
Brian walks in and goes to his usual PC. He signs on to
Simply Novels and looks for his thread, but it is no
longer in the top 20. He goes to the Database of Novels,
but sees that his novel is no longer there either.
He notices that he has two new messages in his Mailbox.
He clicks on the "Read Mail" button.
BRIAN
(reading)
In accordance of our new strict
grammar policies, your last post
has been deleted. "Me and my
friends" is not correct grammar.
(to himself)
You're shitting me.
(clicks on
next message)
Since you did not apologize for
this we've had no choice but to
remove your novel from the site.
Reicther sits down next to him.
REICTHER
Hey, I saw that your novel was gone
this morning, you should have just
fessed up.
BRIAN
I did! I did! I wrote this long
apology last night, but it was
removed because I didn't use the
proper conjunction of the
superlative in the right tense or
some shit.
REICTHER
Really?
BRIAN
This is McCarthyism, or sexism or
grammarism or something...
REICTHER
So you went through all that
trouble, and no one ever read your
novel.
Reicther pulls out his books, while Brian looks over to him
getting an idea.
BRIAN
Hey. No one read my novel!
REICTHER
Yeah, I know, that sucks.
BRIAN
So I can resubmit it...Under a
different title.
REICTHER
I guess. But you spend like 3
months trying to come up with that
title. But, you're kind of
blacklisted on that site now,
aren't you...
Beat.
BRIAN
Can I use your e-mail?
Reicther rolls his eyes.
FADE TO:
INT. HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER
Will is walking along, looking rather depressed. Ellen
is walking beside him, looking guilty.
ELLEN
Aw, Will I'm sorry. If it makes you
feel better they gave me grape
flavor. And frankly grape is shit.
Will simply rolls his eyes.
ELLEN
Come on, Will. Is there any way I
can make this up to you?
Will stops. His eyes get big and a devilish smile comes
across his face.
WILL
Well, now that you mention it...I
do happen to have "Batman Begins"
in my locker and I know how much
you've dying see that.
Ellen groans.
ELLEN
Do I have to?
WILL
Sorry, Ellen. You dug your own
grave.
ELLEN
(under breath)
Fucking prequels.
Will laughs.
FADE TO:
INT. JOEL'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AFTER SCHOOL (HOURS LATER)
Joel and Casey are sitting on the couch, with a cationic
Brock in-between them. Casey is channel suffering, while
Joel is looking at Brock with concern.
JOEL
I'm starting to get concerned. How
much longer can Brock stay like
this?
CASEY
We just need something to snap him
out of it.
Casey flips some more.
TV VOICE (O.S.)
And now for another great episode
of "Full House."
All of a sudden Brock snaps out of and looks around.
BROCK
Where am I?
Joel and Casey look confused.
FADE TO:
INT. HOSPITAL - KATE'S ROOM - NIGHT (HOURS LATER)
Kate is fast asleep on the bed. There are dozens of
wires hooked up to her. Chris is sitting in the big
chair next to her. He is hard at work writing something
down. After a few more seconds of writing, Chris takes a
deep sigh and lays the paper down on the tray next to
Kate's bed.
Chris slowly stands.
CLOSE UP ON PAPER:
It's the application for Eastern Psych. Chris has filled
it out for Kate.
Chris heads for the door. He takes a look at Kate before
turning out the lights and leaving.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE
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