(c) 2005, Patrick Mendez

					     LIVING ROOM

						    by
						Patrick Mendez

FADE IN:

1. INT. BAR - NIGHT

A slim Caucasian man sits in a bar drinking henessy. This is MIKE - a twenty-six year old fast food restaurant manager. he's relaxing from a hard week on this Friday night with his friend MELISSA. she's in the bathroom. MIKE waits for her, sipping away the remaining liquor from his glass. He signals the bartender for a refill.

					Mike
				Another one please
				(Thinking)
				Gotta get trashed tonight.

MELISSA returns from the bathroom. she seems a little tipsy.

					Melissa
				(to bartender)
				a sex on the beach please.

					mike
				now that's what I'm talking about.

The bartender brings MIKE a small glass of henessy with ice and a cherry.

					Melissa
				shit. it's Friday. Fridays only come once
				a week so you gotta take advantage.

					mike
				damn skippy.
					
					melissa
				so how are you mike?
				how's everything? business is going good?

					mike
				it's OK I guess.

					Melissa
				just OK? why only OK?

					mike
			I mean you know it's going. it's pretty
			much been the same since I got the job. the same as
			last year and the year before.....
			it's just sort of like a never ending cycle of          	            repetition.

					Melissa
				how so?

					mike
		I get new employees from time to time. old
		ones go, new people come in and other people
		leave and so on and so on. you know it's just a regular
		fast food joint where people go when they feel it's
		time to forget all about the recent medical facts about
		gorging on nasty, disgusting food cooked in three month old
		grease and desecrate their health little by little every
		time they come back for more. but I guess you could say I've
		been lucky. I haven't had any situation of people planting
	      Rat heads in the food so they could file a lawsuit
		against the place. so you could say it's been OK for now.

					Melissa
				(sarcastically)
				wow. it seems like you really like what you do.
				what can I say. I truly envy you.

					mike
				(smiles)
				shut up.

					Melissa
				oh c'mon mike. I'm sure it's not that bad.
				tell you what-

The bartender brings MELISSA her drink.

					Melissa (cont'd)
			why don't I go to your interesting place of work
			from time to time. maybe that'll make you feel better.
			huh?

					mike
			oh don't flatter yourself, I have enough women in
			my life.

					Melissa
				(punches mike in the shoulder)
				shut up! don't be so mean to me.

					mike
			oh c'mon hun, I'm just breaking your....titties?
			I can't say balls cause your not one of my boys so..

					Melissa
				one of these days mike, I'm gonna kill you.

					mike
			I'm just playing with you, sweety, but no you don't
			have to do that.

					Melissa
				do what? kill you?

					mike
			visit my interesting place of work to see me.
			we can always get together somewhere else like....
			a bar?

					Melissa
				yeah. a bar is good silly boy.

					mike
				anyway. tell me how's the modeling business?

					Melissa
				what modeling business?

					mike
				I don't know but when are you gonna start?
					
					melissa
				start what?

					mike
				modeling?

					Melissa
				what gave you the idea that I'm gonna be 
				a model? I'm not modeling.

					mike
				oh c'mon girl you know you got the looks.

					Melissa
				oh please.

					mike
		no you do. you got the looks, plus you've been
		in the bathroom twice already since we got here -
		so I thought you were uh.. you know-
		(puts his finger in his mouth making a vomiting gesture)
		doing that things models do to keep their lovely looks.

					Melissa
				I know you're not calling me a bulimic bitch
				with your drunk ass.

					mike
			what do you mean? I'm giving you a compliment.
			I'm calling you a model. you don't like being called
			a model?

					Melissa
		yeah right. you know you should take it easy there
		with the alcohol. you wouldn't want the bouncer to haul
		your ass out the door when you've had enough.

					mike
		why? it's Friday. you gotta take advantage like you said.
		I mean shit, I've had a hard week, my back hurts, my gonads
		are killing me, why not wash all that shit away with a 
		Little jesus juice.

					Melissa
				(laughing)
				Jesus juice? mike, you are a crazy one.

					mike
				only for tonight.

					Melissa
				why's that?

					mike
				I got my business face on all week, I gotta
				act a jackass at least once a week.

					Melissa
				right. wait a minute isn't tomorrow your
				birthday?

					mike
				the first of April. yes it is.

					Melissa
				hhhmmm. what an interesting birth date.

					mike
				it's just a day that happens to be my birthday
				that's all.

					Melissa
				we should celebrate.

					mike
			well aren't we already? plus is not until an hour
			or two more before twelve. it's about ten-thirty now.

					Melissa
				yeah I guess you're right.

					mike
			you know I had a crazy ass dream a couple of nights
			ago.

					Melissa
				oh yeah?

					mike
	yeah. I dreamt of the night I was born. my father was a
	nervous wreck in the waiting room. walking around, 
	chain smoking, you know back in the day it was allowed
	to smoke in alot of places - anyway. my dad was just
	incredibly nervous about me being born. and there was nobody
	else in the waiting room with my dad. it was as if I was the
	only baby being born that night. so after waiting what felt
	like hours, this nurse comes to my dad and tells him to follow 
	her. my dad had red eyes and looked like he hadn't slept
	like in three days. he asks her "is everything OK?" but
	she doesn't reply, she just continues to walk towards the 
	delivery room. when she gets there, check this out, she turns
	around takes her top off, flashes my dad and then runs away.

					Melissa
				what? thats freaking crazy!

					mike (cont'd)
			my dad is like "what the fuck!" he goes in
			the delivery room and theres my mom laying there
			holding me. the doctor is next to her putting my 
			umbilical cord in a plastic bag. the nurse says 
			"congratulations! it's a girl!" my dad quickly goes
			over to pick me up and he sees my uncircumcised little
			prick and everybody yells "April fools it's a boy!"

					Melissa
				holy shit.

					mike
			after that I just wake up and I'm like "what the fuck
			was that?"

					Melissa
			wow! that's the creepiest dream I've ever heard so
			far in my life.

					mike
			tell me about it. it seemed so real, the first thing
			I did when I woke up was grab my Dick to make sure
			it was still really just a joke.

CUT TO:

2. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

an attractive woman (STACEY) sits on the toilet urinating. her boyfriend (ZACK) anxiously waits for her.

					zack (O.S)
				how much longer are you gonna take?

					Stacey
				I'll be out in a minute.

					zack (O.S)
			c'mon we gotta discuss this now, let's not waste time.

					Stacey
		I said I'll be out in a minute. damn! can't I take a piss
		in peace?

					zack (O.S)
		not while you're still thinking that we're gonna do this your way.

					Stacey
			can't you wait until I come out of the damn bathroom?

					zack (O.S)
				no because the longer you stay there, the more
				you'll believe that this is happening your way.

					Stacey
				just hold on OK?

CUT TO:

3. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Zack still waiting for Stacey impatiently sits on the sofa. we hear the toilet flush and out comes Stacey, relieved and ready to argue.

					Stacey
				what is it?

					zack
			you know damn well what! we're gonna do this my way.

					Stacey
		first of all - fuck you! the last time we did things 
		your way - I ended up doing community service because of
		your stupid ass instructions. so don't even suggest that
		shit.

					zack
		wait a minute. you got caught that time cause you
		didn't follow those stupid instructions correctly.
		so don't blame that on me. plus - what the hell are you
		bringing that shit up for? this is a completely different thing here.

					Stacey
			I bring it up because that's the last time we did
			things your way - and I don't want that to happen 
			again.

					zack
	goddamn it Stacey, what am I? a calculated foolproof
	cyborg? I made a goddamn mistake! and here you are
	boo hoo hooing all about it now when we're about to do something
	I thought of in the first place? thinking the same shit
	is gonna happen - what if the way you plan it is wrong huh?
	you ever think of that?

					Stacey
			no I don't ever think about that because I'm
			what you call calculated and precise about what
			I want. face it zack - your intuition sucks. you
			ought to learn how to plan things out. maybe you'll
			get better results.

					zack
			Stacey. what are we doing here? we're suppose to be
			doing this for MIKE and we're arguing? c'mon baby
			why don't we do it together then OK?

					Stacey
				are you fucking with me?

					zack
				why you say that?

					Stacey
				because you never talked like that before.

					zack
				like what?

					Stacey
				like what? reasoning with me. where the hell
				is this coming from?

					zack
				well... things change along with technology and
				global warming, so why can't I?

					Stacey
			zack. what are you doing? you're scaring me here.

					zack
	 	listen why don't we put our heads together on this
		one for a change. OK? my intuitive thinking along with
		your keen planning. who knows... it could be the best thing
		we ever get away with.

					Stacey
			wait a minute. why now? after all of the other times
			you could've said that. why now?

					zack
		I told you why. I don't know. I decided to go different
		on this one, you know?

					Stacey
		but what made you change your mind after all the nagging
		you were doing while I was tinkling in the bathroom?

					zack
			I don't know Stacey but let's not waste time talking
			and let's get to the planning OK?

					Stacey
		OK. but zack I'm not gonna stop asking until you give me an
		answer.

CUT TO:

4. INT. BAR - NIGHT

MIKE is still drinking and talking with MELISSA.

CUT TO:

5. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

ZACK appears to be choking STACEY. She turns red. zack can't believe what he's doing but he's not stopping. it looks like Stacey made him lose his temper and zack snapped. after Stacey BLACKS OUT he finally realizes what he'd just done. he falls to his knees and breaks down. not knowing what to do next, he takes out his cell phone and dials a number.

CUT TO:

6. INT. BAR - NIGHT

MIKE'S cell phone goes off.

					mike
				hold on a minute Melissa.
				(answers the cell phone)
				yeah.
				(beat)
				wait. what? what happened?
				(beat)
				hold on let me go outside, I can't hear you                                                             	                  good.

CUT TO:

7. EXT. BAR - NIGHT

					Mike
				what happened?
				(beat)
				hey zack calm down, don't worry I'll be there in a minute.

CUT TO:

8. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

ZACK gently moves Stacey's LIFELESS body over to the couch at the other side of the living room.

CUT TO:

9. INT. TAXI CAB - NIGHT

MIKE and MELISSA are on their way to zack's to see what has happened.

					Melissa
				what did he say happened?

					mike
	he said that Stacey was exercising hard and when she finished
	she went over to the refrigerator and just collapsed as soon
	as she opened the freezer.
	
					Melissa
				oh my god. well didn't he call the ambulance?

					mike
				yeah he told me he did.

CUT TO:

10. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Three knocks are heard from the door. ZACK is immediately alarmed. he carefully walks towards the door.

					zack
				(quietly)
				who is it?

					mike (O.S)
				it's me mike and Melissa.

zack opens the door hesitantly. mike and Melissa quickly enter.

					mike
				where is she?

					zack
				(points to the living room)
				she's over there.

MIKE and MELISSA quickly go to STACEY and try to get her conscious by moving her and talking to her.

					Melissa
				Stacey can you hear me? Stacey it's me Melissa.

MIKE suddenly discovers something on STACEY'S neck. the more he stares at it the more he's struck by it.

CLOSE UP ON STACEY'S NECK - Several choke marks are visible right underneath her chin and on her throat.

					mike
				zack?

					zack
				huh?

					mike
				were you choking her?

Melissa jumps up, shocked at what mike just asked zack.

					zack
				what the hell are you talking about man?

					mike
				what are those marks on her neck from?

mike slowly walks closer and closer towards zack as he confronts him with a series of questions.

					mike
				what did she do to you zack?

					Melissa
				guys what is going on? I don't like this.

					mike
				(yells)
				what the hell did you do?

as mike takes another step closer towards zack. zack pulls out a 9 mm pistol and points it straight at his face.

					zack
				don't fucking move!

Melissa stunned by all this lets out an ear piercing scream.

					zack
				shut up!
				(to mike)
				you get back and stand next to Melissa. don't
				say a goddamn thing, godamn it!	

zack's hand holding the pistol trembles in anxiety.

					Melissa
				(crying)
				what are you doing zack?
		
					mike
				you stupid piece of shit. I never knew
				you could ever be capable of doing something
				so stupid.

					Melissa
				mike! shut up for Christ's sake, he's pointing
				a gun at you.

					mike
			what are you gonna do zack? shoot me?....
			then shoot go ahead, I don't give a shit anymore.
			go ahead shoot.

					Melissa
				mike, stop it!

					zack
				you want me to shoot you mike?
				is that what you want? you want me to shoot you?
				just say the words.

					mike
				do it.
				
					zack
				you know what? I'm not even gonna
				bother with that... for now I'm gonna shoot
				this skanky little bitch first.

					Melissa
				zack no! don't do it please!

ZACK points the gun at MELISSA, she covers her face. he cocks the gun - MIKE jumps on ZACK and struggles to get the gun out of his hand. MELISSA doesn't know what to do. she just stands there and screams in terror. MIKE finally gets ahold of the gun and is now in control of the situation. ZACK, on the ground doesn't move as MIKE sticks the gun to his face.

					mike
				yeah, now what?... you were gonna shoot me?
				huh, motherfucker?

					Melissa
				(sobbing)
				mike, don't do it.

					mike
				don't do it? whatchu mean?...
				this shit head was gonna shoot you!
				well you know what? now it's my turn.
				see how you like it.

MIKE aims the gun at ZACK'S left thigh and pulls the trigger....
a RED FLAG blurps out of the barrel with the word SUCKER printed on it.
suddenly everyone else in the room including the supposedly comatose STACEY yells out:
"HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!".... mike is stunned and speechless for a couple of seconds.

					mike
				what the fuck is all this about!?

					zack
				this is your birthday present mike.
				happy birthday. you wouldn't really kill
				me right?

					mike
				(looks over to Stacey)
				Stacey?....
				(absorbing it all)
				oooooohh! you pranking motherfuckers!
				why the hell would you scare me like that?

					Stacey
				that's the precise point mike.

					mike
				(looks over to Melissa)
				you knew the whole time didn't you?

					Melissa
				(smirking)
				a little.

					mike
				oh my god! you people are a bunch of
				sick fucks!
				(falls on his knees and drops 
				the toy gun)
				Jesus. you fuckers got me good....
				what about those marks on your neck, Stacey?

Stacey licks her finger and rubs out the marks. she licks her finger.

					Stacey
				dried strawberry syrup.

they all laugh. Stacey and zack pick mike off the floor.

					mike
				how long have ya'll be planning all
				of this?

					zack
				a couple of days.

					mike
				why not a shirt, a tie or a blow-up doll
				like any other normal person would give?

					Stacey
			because then it would've been another trivial
			birthday. it's April fools day and it's your birthday.
			and you know, we love playing pranks on people.
			it's a way of life.

					Melissa
				yea mike. you looked like you needed
				some kind of scare. you've been so miserable
				lately. we just wanted to wake you up a little.

					mike
				gee, thanks.

					zack 
				c'mon let's get out of here and
				really celebrate. I'm thinking titty bar.

					mike
				(at Melissa)
				and you owe me something.

					Melissa
				what's that?

					mike
				let's see, how about some ass?

					Melissa
				what? you gotta ask a little more polite
				than that if you want to taste this.

					mike
				OK. but promise you'll remind me to ask.

they all make their way out of the living room and head out the door.
CAMERA stays in the living room and FOCUSES on them leaving the apartment.

					zack
				Those acting lessons really came in handy huh?

					Melissa
				you got that right.

					Mike
				oh, shut up already.

FADE TO BLACK:

					THE END