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Watch The Wall in The Garden on Amazon Prime.
About the screenwriter: A German writer and computer scientist, Thorsten Loos is running his own software development company for a living. In his spare time, he primarily writes tales and scripts in the Science Fiction, Conspiracy and Paranormal genres. (Though he does drift into different genres with his shorts.) Thorsten’s currently working on episodes of an international TV series in development for a U.S. based production company. His pilot script Project Endolon made it to the semi finals of the Creative World Awards 2015, his pilot Mindwalker won ‘best TV Pilot’ in February at Wildsound Festival. Thorsten can be reached at loos.thorsten (a) web.de!
Script Review by L Chambers
Ah, the quest for a perfect life – the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect lover. In Thorsten Loos’ The Wall In The Garden, Helen and Harold appear to be living the dream.
We open on a cozy cottage, sunlight streaming through the window into a warm and inviting home. Helen’s just woken from a perfect night’s sleep. Downstairs Harold is in the kitchen brewing coffee. When Helen joins Harold for breakfast it’s clear these two are very much in love.
Ever heard the phrase ‘too good to be true’? Well, there’s something about Helen and Harold’s union that’s just a little too perfect, and it’s enough to get your heckles up. Wouldn’t you know it, out of the blue, something big happens, something that threatens to rock these two to the very core of their foundation.
A wall suddenly appears in the back garden. Thing is, it wasn’t there before. Harold first notices it in one of Helen’s very delightful works of art. When the two of them investigate outside however they discover this ain’t no ordinary brick wall. It surrounds the entire house, not only that, it’s huge – as in verging on Great Wall Of China huge. Helen wants to turn a blind eye to it, nothing is going to shake her perfect world, but Harold’s not letting it go – he wants to know how the hell a wall could just materialize out of thin air, and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it… or rather to the top of it.
So, out comes a gargantuan ladder, or two, and Harold prepares to make his ascent.
And, you’ll never guess what he finds on the other side…
No, really, you won’t guess.
With The Wall In The Garden, Thorsten Loos deftly lulls his audience into a false sense of security, leads them down the proverbial garden path, then pulls the rug out from under them in a shocking denouement you won’t see coming.
If you’re a fan of the surreal tones of The Twilight Zone, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, and The Truman Show, where everything is never as it first appears to be, you’re going to love The Wall In The Garden.
Read The Wall In The Garden (10 pages in pdf format) Best Script Wildsound Festival
About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.
A late night talk jock gets an unsettling caller.
Read the script review
Hollywood and its inhabitants live in a crazy paradox. In one breath, they claim originality to be extinct. Yet they pan for it… daily. Then, when a true nugget of uniqueness is found, it’s immediately turned into a movie dating game:
“Think of it as Superman meets Super Fly!”
“The Godfather – meets George Burn’s Oh, God!”
“Mary Poppins Meets Mary Jane!”
(I think that last one actually happened. At least my hallucination-induced penguins say so.)
And David Troop’s hauntingly clever Insomniac could certainly be pitched in those terms. It’s “Play Misty for Me” meets “Se7en.” Now there’s an easy elevator sell. But I’d rather call it… screenplay gold!
Like many an evil tale, Insomniac begins at the edge of night. Late night talk show host Dave Burrows burns the late night oil in Philly – catering to listeners who’d rather not be listening, but have tuned in for multiple sorry reasons: “My husband snores.” “You catch the Eagles game, Dave?” In other words, they’re insomniacs. Sleep’s a distant memory.
But Dave’s rapport with his listeners soothes their woes… well, mostly. Treating each anonymous caller as a long-lost friend, his delivery is warm and glib. Especially when he gets a ring from “The Caller”, who tells him – “I’m having this nightmare. But I’m awake.” The Caller worries out loud that he’s gone crazy.
“No. Actually it sounds like my first marriage,” quips a weary Dave. “Get out and take a walk. Clear your head.” Spot on advice. Or so it seems.
Two weeks later, the “Caller” resurfaces. This time it’s to thank Dave for his sage advice. The Caller’s enjoyed his new practice of walking at night. Especially that time he met a freshman girl. “She looked young. Almost too young to be in college…”
The Caller trails off, his voice sinister. And Dave snaps instantly awake. Both he – and the reader – know immediately when this story’s heading. Details of a butterfly shaped toe ring. A foot tied to a bed. Muffled screams. And a bedpost slamming against a wall. Helpless to do anything, Dave (and his technicians) take the horrifying sounds in.
But ultimately – is it just a prank? A sleep-deprived man’s sick idea of humor? Or is the Caller horrifyingly real – leaving a mysterious trail of terror, wafting over the city like scattered radio waves? You’ll have to read Insomniac to find out. Inspiringly original, it’s a throwback to the golden age of terror and suspense. A case of “clever” meets “terrifying.”
Budget/casting: Locations minimal. A rented sound booth would be great, but any office setting will suffice. An apartment and a toe ring. Four actors…and a foot. Also, I immediately heard Kevin Spacey as the Caller. If you can get him, give HIM a call. Immediately!
About the writer: David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus. Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced. Dave would like to make it three. He was a regular, award-winning contributor to MoviePoet.com. Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 “AT” Gmail
Read Insomniac (pages in PDF format)
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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
About the reviewer: An accomplished writer as well, Zack Zupke lives in Los Angeles. He can be contacted via email at zzupke “AT” yahoo
A Britain devastated. ‘The Fire’ has ripped apart the world. The street drug Utopium allows for individuals to relive past memories at the cost of slowly destroying their minds. Can Hendric, a man trying to remember the death of his sister, uncover the disturbing truth whilst trying to surviving trapped inside the brutal drug den of a psychotic underworld leader?