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Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Just a Load of Baloney by Kirsten James (short script review – available for production) - post author Dena McKinnon

Just a Load of Baloney (8 page dramedy) by Kirsten James

When a student saves another from a bully they end up having to face their own fears and stereotypes of each other.

Synopsis.
The story starts with Toby taking a beating from the school bully, Jared. Walking by, Hassan, another student, steps in trying to help but gets punched by Jared. Hassan and Jared sit in principal’s office and after some explaining, Principal Taylor, who really enjoys bologna sandwiches sums it up: Jared the bully beat up Toby because of his sexuality and Hassan stepped in to help, and got punched by accident. Once excused, Toby thanks Hassan. But when he caringly checks Hassan’s black eye, Hassan takes it as a homophobic advance and reacts harshly. Later in the locker room, Hassan is attacked over his religion. As students harass Hassan for being a Muslim, Toby watches without helping. Hassan later verbally attacks Toby calling him a faggot. Students watch as the tension between Toby and Hassan escalates, Hassan upset that Toby didn’t step in to help. It’s like deja vu. Principal Taylor, indulging in another bologna sandwich, leaves telling the boys to work it out. This time though, however, they really do. Toby admits he didn’t help because Hassan had gotten all homophobic on him and Hassan admits that he doesn’t have anything against gays, he even has a gay cousin who lives with him after being kicked out. The two agree to be distant until later when they will hang out and become friends. Laughs come at the end when Toby asks Hassan if his cousin is cute, and the boys leave a note for Principal Taylor, warning him he shouldn’t eat so much bologna.

What I love about this story.
I LOVE that so many prejudices are brought forth. We really are like this as people and we shouldn’t be. Very heartfelt, this story and I think it would be superb festival material.

Why I think this story should be produced.
There is not enough material out there to shed light on such a touchy but relevant subject. This one deserves making. It is film-worthy and one that would hit home and touch many hearts. STRONG subject but light-hearted.

Budget: Low
Characters: 4 mains and some extras
Locations: 1-A school… could be done easily I think

About the Writer: Kirsten James is an aspiring screenwriter in her mid 40’s, originally from NZ, living in the USA. She started writing short stories 5 years ago, and after a year learned that she was more geared to writing scripts. Kirsten has a degree in psychology and finds this a great asset to her writing. Kirsten has 1 short in production.

Read Just a Load of Baloney (8 pages in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the reviewer: Dena McKinnon is an optioned and produced screenwriter who also writes on assignment. Her IMDb credits. She can be reached at: girlbytheshore (a) hotmail.

Monday, March 25, 2019

This Long Vigil by Rhett Bruno- Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Steven Clark

This Long Vigil (27 pages in pdf format) by Rhett Bruno

The lone spaceman aboard an interstellar Ark and his only companion, the ship-wide artificial intelligence, count the hours until his impending and unending hibernation.

Does every Sci-Fi story need to have over the top heroes saving the universe, or aliens running amok across a war-torn Earth? We don’t think so.

And neither will you after reading This Long Vigil.

The year is 2334. The Earth? It’s long gone.

And for Orion, life aboard the Hermes – a massive transport vessel containing thousands of fellow humans in suspended animation – is downright drab.

As the ship’s monitor, and the only fully conscious human, Orion is tasked with keeping an eye on the ship’s inhabitants: keeping up with a myriad of maintenance routines.

His only company is the Hermes’ super computer, DAN, who (like 2001’s HAL) is wired throughout the vessel. Dan keeps Orion occupied with conversation – and the occasional witty riddle to keep his mind sharp… even on the boring days.

The Hermes zips through space in search of a new planet to call home – but a storm is brewing inside.

Orion is about to turn fifty. Back on Earth, that would be cause for celebration, but not here. And not now. According to Dan, Orion must choose his replacement soon – and join the rest of the occupants in eternal “sleep.”

Facing that reality, Orion decides existence on life support is not for him.

            ORION
I believe that people should be
born in fluid, not die in it.

And so a plan is set into motion. With the light of a distant sun shining through his portal, Orion overrides Dan and grabs a space suit. With only fifteen minutes of oxygen left, what could faithful Orion be up to?

Perhaps we’ll find the answer to that in a riddle.

Written in a prose-like fashion, Rhett Bruno’s This Long Vigil contains the best elements of sci-fi and drama, complete with a satisfying finish that is bound to make some noise at Festivals…

Unlike the eternal silence of Space.

Budget: Mid-range. Granted, this one will need some FX. Though judicious editing may make that easier than you think!

About the Nebula nominated writer, Rhett Bruno: Rhett Bruno has been writing since before he can remember, scribbling down what he thought were epic stories when he was young to show to his friends and family. He currently works at an architecture firm, but that hasn’t stopped him from recording the tales bouncing around inside of his head. Rhett is the author of The Circuit Series and Titanborn and the novella This Long Vigil upon which his screenplay is based. He can be reached at rcbruno44(a)outlook.com or you can visit his information chocked website at RhettBruno.com, or Twitter @rcbruno44.  

Read This Long Vigil (27 page screenplay in PDF format).

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the Reviewer: Based in upstate, NY, Steven Clark is the writer of over 30 short scripts, several of which are under option, in pre-production, or have already been made into films. On A Clear Night, a family Christmas feature aimed at a Hallmark Channel-type audience, is currently in the works. Steven can be reached at Steamroller138 (a) gmail. Check out his website BadRepScript.weebly.com and his other screenplays.

Friday, March 22, 2019

Hair by James Barron – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Zach Zupke

Hair 18 pages in PDF format by James Barron

A family man struggling to keep his life from falling apart becomes obsessed with impending baldness.

Have you ever had one of those days? The job is stabbing you in the eyeballs, your child wants to stab you in the eyeballs and your spouse, who is so severely/constantly let down by you, can barely look you in the, um, eyeballs? These types of days have turned into years for salesman Ted Donovan.

But meaningless career and a challenging home life are nothing compared to his REAL problem: male pattern baldness.

James Barron’s “Hair” is a witty romp through a day in a suburban man’s life; a life beginning to fall apart – and fall out.

The story starts with confirmation from his physician – Ted’s hair or, unhair, doctor.

            DR. GREEN
Mr. Donovan, have you been under
any undue stress lately? At work
perhaps?

            TED
Yeah, a bit. There’s been some
cutbacks. And I have a new boss.
And my wife’s pushing me for this
promotion when I’m barely hanging
on as is. Plus my daughter got
suspended recently. And I’ve been
feeling this shortness of breath.
Kind of like I’m hyperventilating.

            DR. GREEN
Uh-huh…

            TED
Is there anything you can prescribe
for that?

            DR. GREEN
For which part?

            TED
All of it.

            DR. GREEN
I really only specialize with hair.

            TED
Oh. Right.

The problems mount at work, where Ted used to be an Amway selling “machine.” But now he’s locked in cold-call hell, unable to engage potential customers for more than greetings followed by dismal dial tones.

His much-younger boss – who happens to be his old boss’s son – doesn’t help matters, reminding Ted of better day’s gone by.

            TED
It’s been a little slow this month.

            NEAL
No worries. What’d my old man call you?
The machine. I remember you were a legend.
    (quickly)
Still are. I know I can count on
You, Teddy. Or should I say machine?

            TED
Ted is fine.

Ted is not fine. In fact, this is a decisive turning point in his life. And he literally meets it head-on in the form of a nearly-fatal accident behind the wheel as he checks his hair in the mirror. Knocked unconscious, he dreams of his boss Neal, who tells him “you must make a statement…. a statement shall set you free.”

This free advice amounts to Ted’s moment of clarity, leading him to do the unthinkable. And so his journey to happiness begins anew, with wife and daughter in tow. And Amway and the old Ted in his rear-view mirror – for good.

Ted’s big adventure is a warm, charming “Office Space” meets “Horrible Bosses” meets Paul Giamatti. It’s an extremely low-budget film requiring just a few locations and handful of actors – one of which may need to be willing to shave a little off his ego to make the film a “growing” success.

Budget: Just a few locations and a handful of actors. We’re happy to say that’s all you need.

About the writer: James loves to write comedy and action along with the occasional horror short. You can reach him at jbarron021 (a) gmail.

Read Hair (19 pages in pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

About the reviewer: Zack Zupke is a writer in Los Angeles. Zack was a latch-key kid whose best friend was a 19-inch color television. His early education (1st grade on) included watching countless hours of shows like “M*A*S*H,” “Star Trek” and “The Odd Couple” and movies like “The Godfather,” “Rocky” and “Annie Hall.” Flash forward to present day and his short “The Confession” was recently produced by Trident Technical College in Charleston, SC. He’s currently working on a futuristic hitman thriller with a partner and refining a dramedy pilot perfect for the likes of FX. You can reach Zack at zzupke (a) yahoo.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Badman by John Staats – Produced - post author Don

Badman (5 page in pdf format ) by John Staats (JEStaats)

The J-Gang has robbed the bank again. Now it’s the Bad men vs. Badman.

(click the image to take you to the full version)

Read the rest at HyperEpics.com


About the writer: As a fly-fishing fanatic and skier living in the Arizona desert, John Staats has plenty of time for writing. After focusing on features and shorts for the screen, John has now ventured into writing for the illustrated page with hopes of eventually writing a full-feature graphic novel. His feature Impasse has also been published as an e-book on Amazon. John can be contacted at jestaats(a)hotmail.

About Hyper Epics: Home of the 3 page sagas, Hyper Epics is a bold anthology series that offers diverse and exciting comic book stories on its website – www.hyperepics.com – and in print form. Each original story is packed with stunning artwork, memorable characters, and captivating stories enhanced with dazzling soundtracks. It is quickly becoming a go-to destination for readers worldwide.

Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Terms Of Engagement by David Lambertson – Short Script Review – Available for production - post author LC

Terms of Engagement (10 pages in pdf format) by David Lambertson

Sometimes a break-up is the first step towards an engagement.

Man walks into a bar…

Typically to drown his sorrows over a woman.

David Lambertson’s, Terms Of Engagement opens with just this scenario.

The place is Sullivan’s Bar. Tending bar is Tina.

The date: Valentine’s Day.

The aforementioned Man seeking to drown his sorrows is James, replete with a box of chocolates, a dozen red roses, a red heart-shaped pillow and a sullen expression.

     Head bowed, muttering to himself, he lumbers to the bar.

When the roses are quickly dunked into a pitcher of beer and James slams back a shot of tequila we know Cupid’s arrow must have overshot its target. When James proceeds to bang his head into the pillow over and over we know there’s been trouble in paradise. What kind of trouble you might ask? Well, it seems Amy, James beloved, wanted something special this Valentine’s Day and James failed to deliver.

Hmm, something special… Yes, sometimes we girls speak in code. How fortuitous then that Tina is on hand, not only to offer a friendly ear and a kind word, but to also unravel that code for James.

Tina sets about telling James where he’s gone wrong –

            TINA
The pillow’s bout five bucks. The
roses are bound by a rubber band.
any florist worth their weight
would’ve bound them in a ribbon.
     (points at roses)
Those scream retail.
     (taps the box)
But those are the dead give-away.

James is about to discover that a heart-shaped pillow ‘made in China’ is not at all classy, that drug-store flowers don’t cut it, and that chocolates are a far more complicated purchase than he ever would have guessed.

            TINA
…You got your Godiva chocolates.
For my money, the best… but they aren’t
going to be on the shelf of your local grocery.
After that, you have your Sees Candies.
Not real expensive, but you have to actually
drive to a Sees store to get them. You know,
Make an effort. And then…
     (picks up the box)
You got your Whitman’s Samplers.

     No good, asks James?

     Only if you’re broke or if you’re twelve, says Tina.

And so proceeds James’ education in the art of love and all things special.

With its clever twist in the final act Terms Of Engagement is a delightfully funny RomCom in the style of How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, and with the comedic insights of What Women Want.

FILMMAKERS: We trust you’ll know what you want especially when it’s right in front of your eyes. Best save the date pronto with the writer of this one though, lest it be booked out.

About the Writer, David Lambertson: I took up writing rather late in life having already been retired before I put pen to paper (okay – finger to computer key) for the first time. My favorite genres to read and write are dramedies and romantic comedies.

In addition to this short, I have written four features; “The Last Statesman” (a 2015 PAGE finalist and a Nicholl’s and BlueCat quarterfinalist), “The Beginning of The End and The End” (a PAGE Semi-Finalist). Taking Stock (a drama) and a new comedy – “Screw You Tube”. Want to learn more? Reach Dave at dlambertson (at) hotmail! And visit his website.

Read Terms of Engagement (10 pages in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Monday, March 11, 2019

The Perfect Pair by Mark Moore – Short Script Review – Available for production - post author LC

The Perfect Pair (10 pages in pdf format) by Mark Moore

An improbable pair meet their match.

As the old saying goes: We can’t choose our family… But we can definitely choose who we fall in love with. Or can we? Perhaps it boils down to simple relationship chemistry, that special connection and instant spark, but attraction is definitely in the eye of the beholder and can mean many different things to different people.

What happens if the object of your affection is not of the warm-blooded variety? In Spike Jonz’ movie, Her, Theodore falls in love with Samantha, a computer operating system. In Lars And The Real Girl, the impossibly shy Lars teams up with a lifelike plastic doll named Bianca. In Blade Runner, Rick Deckard has a dalliance with a beautiful droid named Rachael, and in TED, a bromance develops between John and his foulmouthed childhood teddy bear come to life.

In similar fashion Mark Moore’s The Perfect Pair examines the relationship between Kevin, a big lug of a guy in his twenties and his very unconventional relationship with girlfriend, Nicole. Kevin is what we’d call a late bloomer and in true Millennial form he is yet to leave the nest.

The dilemma facing long-suffering parents, Frank and Peggy, is not simply what do you do when your adult kid won’t cut the apron strings, but what do you do when the object of your son’s affection is a sock-puppet named Nicole? They’ve been open-minded and patient up until now, allowing Nicole to share their home, their dinner table, even allowing Nicole to share Kevin’s bed, but they’re at their tipping point – Frank’s taken to hyperventilating over the whole affair and something drastic has to be done.

Frank and Peggy take the ‘tough love’ route issuing Kevin with an ultimatum: Either he finds ‘an actual woman of the human kind’ or he’s out.

So, what’s a guy like Kev to do? Go to an Internet dating site of course, rustle up a good sort with shared interests (in this case sock-puppets) and hope and pray for compatibility.

But, what of fiery red-head, Nicole? She’s not going to go easy. And she’s definitely not the sharing type.

Talk about a bizarre love triangle.

Filmmakers: Do you like the comedy in your RomCom veering into absurd, screwball, and laugh-out-loud whilst maintaining sweet and sentimental on the romantic side?

Reminiscent of Lars And The Real Girl and Something About Mary and with an hilarious montage that’ll have your audience laughing out loud, The Perfect Pair could be your perfect debut.

About the Writer: Mark Moore is an aspiring screenwriter originally from Ireland, currently residing in Upstate New York. He has had multiple shorts produced, including one award winner and currently have another on option. He typically enjoys writing comedy and can be reached at mmrem24 (a) yahoo.com

Read The Perfect Pair (10 pages in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production.

About the reviewer: L. Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently works as a freelance web-content editor and lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia.

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

I-commute by Christina Katsiadakis – short script review (available for production) - post author Dena McKinnon

I-commute by Christina Katsiadakis

When it comes to finding love, look up.

Synopsis
In a world where we are becoming our phones or they are becoming us, Eugene is a lot like many of us, always buried in his cell phone. Day in, day out it is the same old routine of Eugene and his phone, no real human interaction or communication, until one day when his battery runs out, he notices the beauty on his commute–a girl. Unfortunately, she does not notice him because she is consumed in her cell phone. Eugene fixes himself up, even does obvious things to make her notice him, but she does not. When he finally gives in and gets sucked back into his phone, the girl’s battery finally dies. We hope she will finally recognize him. And she does look up long enough to take an interest in a guy, but it’s not Eugene.

What’s good.
This is such a relevant topic. It showcases the world we live in and what’s becoming of us. Maybe we are becoming machines. We are surely living in machines i.e., cell phones these days. I think this script is contest material. Not a big enough concept for feature but it works well as a short IMO.

Production Qualities.
– Medium Budget (hardest thing would be the bus)
– Two main characters (Eugene and Girl) with several extras to fill the bus.
– Two locations (house, bus)

The Real.
After reading this, I am going to try to go a day without my cell phone tomorrow. It really made me think about what we are becoming. The fact that we may miss a chance at love. Or a smile. Or life… Hits home. A sad script in a way, but reality.

About the writer: Christina Katsiadakis was born in Athens, Greece and she moved to Montreal in 2012. She holds a BA in History from the Athens University and an MA in Film from Goldsmiths College. She has been working in film and TV since 2004 as a production coordinator and production manager. In the last few years she has started pursuing her personal creative projects. She has written and directed two short films, Marching Muse and Football Days in Hockey Town and is currently working on her first feature film Fumus and Umbra. Christina Katsiadakis can be reached at xkatsiadakis (a) gmail.com

Read I-commute (3 page Romcom in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production

About the reviewer: Dena McKinnon is an optioned and produced screenwriter who also writes on assignment. Her IMDb credits. She can be reached at: girlbytheshore (a) hotmail.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Ultra Parasomnia by Anna Nazzari – Short Script Review (available for production) - post author Dena McKinnon

Ultra Parasomnia by Anna Nazzari

A lesbian relationship is destroyed by sleep-drawing and supernatural possession.

Synopsis
Chicken by Dena McKinnon Move over cat lady… because we have a chicken lady in this one! We are introduced to Addilyn in a chicken coop, singing to her little chicken. From the beginning, we get a feeling that she weirdly fits right in here. Then enters conflict as her lesbian lover, Cora, mentions she’s found a good home for their chickens. Cora even jokes about ‘cooking’ a roast chicken. None of this sits good with the chicken lady. Not only a great vehicle for conflict, but I believe this little scene is a catalyst that heats up Addilyn’s strange sleep patterns of parasomnia: drawing and even scratching chicken drawings onto the walls of the bedroom! Realizing Addilyn’s symptoms are growing out of control, Cora buys a sketchbook then decides it’s time to call in the shrink, but it can’t be soon enough, because the last night in a manic chicken rage, Addilyn smothers her lesbian lover with a pillow to a choir of clucking chaos. When the clock sounds in the morning, Addilyn rolls Cora over to find a chicken sketch scratched into her face. As Cora lies there dead, a live chicken appears at the end of the bed. Addilyn laughs maniacally.

What’s good.
I love the concept. Parasomnia. I’ve always been fascinated with night terrors. Sleep disturbances. It has been done in the movies but not GREAT yet so there is room for one of these! I think it’s marketable, could be festival quality and a great calling card for a writer or director. The Addilyn character would also give an actress a super chance to showcase their talent.

Production Qualities.
– Low budget makes this attractive
– Two characters (Cora and Addilyn)
– Two locations (chicken coop & house)
– People say never write in pets, but I think chickens would be easy!

The Funny.
Found myself drawing crazy chickens after reading this… hmmm.

About the writer: Anna Nazzari can be reached at A.Nazzari (a) curtin.edu.au

Read Ultra Parasomnia (7 page short horror in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production

About the reviewer: Dena McKinnon is an optioned and produced screenwriter who also writes on assignment. Her IMDb credits. She can be reached at: girlbytheshore (a) hotmail.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Keeping it Fresh – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - post author Guest Reviewer

Keeping it Fresh (6 pages in pdf format) by Rick Hansberry

Ken and Ruth have done it all. Except this.

What are you willing to do to keep things fresh? That’s a question many couples in their 60s dare to ask, and Ken and Ruth do their best to answer.

Does Fresh mean honest? Or just exciting? And when the stakes are ‘whatever needs to be done to share one’s life’, how can a couple truly know?

As veteran writer Rick Hansberry’s script opens, we meet Ken and Ruth in their well worn family car; tersely discussing their “action plan.” Ruth’s awash with nerves – her hands playing with a folded piece of paper. Ken tries to be sensitive to her concerns, but fails miserably at every attempt.

Where is this duo going? And why?

Their destination – a grocery store. What on Earth could be nerve racking there?

Soon, we discover Ken and Ruth are in… a race. Of what kind? The truth’s unclear. But what unfolds next is a comedy of errors – a wondrous blend of anxiety and charm. Imagine the slapstick as Ken and Ruth dodge obstacles, friends, enemies, wet floors, and – of course – time.

What will the finish line reveal? We won’t spoil the surprise (or the produce). But you will find a warm, sophisticated comedy – ala a young June Squibb or Seymour Cassell.

This is a script with tons of buy-one-get-two-free.  Including: a budget friendly tale, featuring characters of a “specific” (and underrepresented) age. All of which makes this story stand out – and write it’s way into even old and jaded hearts.

Need some older actors? Consider giving your parents’ “cool” friends something to do for a day. But regardless of who you cast, you’ll charm your way into festivals with this Fresh, young-at-heart gem!

Budget: All that’s needed are two good actors, and access to a deli or supermarket – at least a few aisles.

About the writer: Rick Hansberry is a screenwriter, producer and director with more than 20 years of industry experience. His SAG Foundation award-winning Branches features narration by Daniel Stern and garnered international festival awards. In 2017 his thriller/horror film, Evil In Her was released on Amazon Video and Vimeo On Demand. His most recent short, inspired by true events, has won praise for its portrayal of one girl’s positive approach to handling her Type 1 Diabetes. You can view It’s Not Permanent free on YouTube. Rick has two shorts playing in the festival circuit now and has several other shorts and features available here and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618) and IMDB credits available here.

Read Keeping it Fresh

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

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About the reviewer: Rachel Kate Miller is a veteran of the feature animation industry, having worked on several Oscar winning films, bringing stories to life. In 2012, she left animation to move to Chicago and run the design department for President Obama’s reelection campaign. She is now living in New York, writing, consulting on various projects and creating an educational animated series for elementary students focused on engaging kids in science. Want to drop Rachel line? She can be reached at rachelkate.miller (a) gmail.

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October 19, 2019

    Kármán Line by R.J. Howard (Howie365) writing as Ward Rhoj

    On their way to service a broken satellite in geosynchronous orbit, four astronauts experience something they can’t explain and will never forget. 12 pages
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