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Saturday, November 10, 2018

The October 2018 OWC Hyper Epic Choice… - post author Don

Beneath The Surface (6 pages in pdf format) by Richard D. Kinsella

(click the image to take you to the full version)

Read the rest at HyperEpics.com

Beneath The Surface adapted by Thomas Tuna from Richard’s script.


About the Writer: Richard D. Kinsella is a multi-award winning Director and Screenwriter from Manchester, UK. A restless soul who has circumnavigated the world twice and has visited 110 countries in his relatively short and increasingly surreal life, he is currently putting the finishing touches to a feature script he hopes to film next year. Check out his IMDb credits. Rick can be reached at scartissuefilms at gmail.


About Hyper Epics: Home of the 3 page sagas, Hyper Epics is a bold anthology series that offers diverse and exciting comic book stories on its website – www.hyperepics.com – and in print form. Each original story is packed with stunning artwork, memorable characters, and captivating stories enhanced with dazzling soundtracks. It is quickly becoming a go-to destination for readers worldwide. SimplyScripts is a Patreon supporter of Hyper Epics.

Friday, November 9, 2018

Reaching the Midpoint of the Outline – Lake Regret - post author Gary Howell

We’re still balancing work life and family life and writing life in trying to finish our outline.  I’m sure this is never an issue for you (ducks as you hurl projectiles at my head), but it’s constantly something we all need to juggle as we try to conjure up things creatively.

I’m a big believer that a well-balanced life makes for a well-balanced writer.   If all you know if your work life or family life, that’s going to be reflected in your writing, as your world experience tends to color your writing style.  Maybe you’re the exception, maybe you can handle 14 hour work days and 6 hours of sleep, trying to cram in a couple of hours of writing in between fast food meals.  But what will that writing look like?

If you have an unbalanced life, take a look at some of your writing and see if it’s not having an effect. Better yet, have someone you trust to read it and give you an honest assessment of what’s in there. If it’s off in any way, take some time to go out and doing something enjoyable.  Hike.  Go to a baseball game.  Binge watch “Ozark”.  Drink some beers with friends.  Once your head is cleared of all the unhealthy crap, then you can be more productive.

So back to the outline.  When we last left our friends, Lucas and Hunter were having a little disagreement over whose side Lucas was on.  After Lucas sides with Jinx, Hunter tells his guys to be wary of him because he could get in the way.

Time to create some more complications for Jinx.

Music is playing and students are dancing.  Lucas asks Ellie to dance and she agrees. As they dance, Jinx watches them from the house through a window.  He thinks Lucas has feelings for Ellie.  He’s distracted as Cass walks behind him.  She sits on a couch and beckons Jinx.  He gives in to the temptation, goes over and sits down.

After the dance is over, Lucas tells Ellie about the picture on the mantle.  Ellie says that was the trip where Nick almost got ticketed for underage drinking and Jinx talked the cop out of it.  As they talk, Ellie folds a napkin, making a flower out of it.  She attaches it to a straw and sticks it in Lucas’ drink.  “What’s this?” asks Lucas.  Ellie isn’t even aware she was doing it. “Oh, that.  It’s a flower for your drink. Jinx used to always be annoyed that the Mexican restaurant that didn’t put a flower or umbrella in my virgin pina coladas and so he would make me one out of a napkin.  Guess I just picked up on it.” Lucas is a bit put off that everything is becoming about Jinx.

Back in the house, Cass makes small talk with Jinx.  When the small talk stalls, she gets more direct: “What’s the deal with you and Ellie?” Jinx is nothing if not honest, and tells her that at one time, he thought she might be the one, but now he’s basically resigned to just moving on – he’s leaving everything behind here, including her.  “Well,” Cass replies, “Maybe you ought to create a new memory you can take with you,” and slides her hand over to his leg.  Jinx is uncomfortable.

Hunter watches Cass and Jinx from across the room. Cass and Hunter’s eyes meet, and they share a conspiratorial smile.  Jinx sees Hunter, and as Cass slides in closer to Jinx, he extricates himself from the situation, embarrassed.

We’re now creating several scenarios where things could go wrong.  Hunter and Jinx, Lucas butting heads with Hunter, Cass interfering potentially between Jinx and Ellie, and whether Jinx and Ellie can truly express their feelings before it’s too late.

As we head into the second half of Act II, we’ll continue ramping up these tensions.  If you have any comments about how it’s going so far we’d love to hear them!


The further adventures of the screenwriting and marketing process of Lake Regret wherein Gary Howell documents his and Rick Hansberry's screenwriting adventures from concept, to the writing, to how they handle disagreements, to marketing the script. Reproduced with permission

Monday, November 5, 2018

Original script Sunday has come on a Monday - post author Don

Over on the Unproduced Scripts page are thirteen original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Getting the Outline into Act II – Lake Regret - post author Gary Howell

So after taking a Sunday off, we got back to working on the outline.  We’ve completed the outline for Act I, and we’ve locked our main character, Jinx, into a difficult situation. Our resident bad guy, Hunter, was forming a plan to exact revenge on Jinx.  You can see the previous outline blog notes in previous posts.

Now as we go into Act II, we need to start creating obstacles for Jinx and begin raising the stakes for him. That can be in the form of human obstacles, or in many cases, moral ambiguities.  Both create the dramatic tension we’re looking for.  But it can’t all be emotional conflicts and head-butting, and you can’t get right to the dramatic showdown between Jinx and Hunter — you have to build to that point, constantly pulling the rubber band until it can’t stretch anymore, then let it snap into place.  And hope that you don’t stretch it too far and break it.

Starting with Act II, Jinx leaves the dock and wants to leave the party.   He’s looking for Tate, and goes to the lake house to find him. Not seeing him, he goes in the house, where students parade in and out.  Inside, he’s nowhere to be seen.  Students are situated around the house – it’s not a wild scene, but people are enjoying themselves.

One of the things we want to try and do with Jinx is show how he has had an effect on others, even when he doesn’t realize it.  Why do this?  Because one of the themes of this script will be that Jinx has had an impact on the lives of others, even when he can’t see it, especially in this world after the accident where he has built up this belief in his mind of how he’s now a pariah in this small Texas town.  So we’ll show small things that begin to add up as we go.

One girl, Savannah, stops Jinx, asks him where he’s going to college. University of Texas, he says.  Me, too, she responds.  She’s excited because she’ll be able to get help on her freshman history classes.  “You saved my ass on a half dozen exams junior year.” Another student with her pipes in. “Saved me too.” Jinx isn’t sure how to respond, but before he can figure it out, the girls are off to chat with someone else.

In addition, we’re going to drop in a little subtext.  In this instance, Jinx stops in front of a mantle above the fireplace, where there are various framed pictures. Several of them are of Lucas and Maggie, some with Lucas’ parents. It’s obvious the house belongs to Lucas’ family.  We finally land on one important picture:  It happens to be Jinx with four other people: one is Lucas.  The others are Ellie, Maggie and a guy we haven’t seen yet (Nick).  They look happy in the picture. Not a care in the world.  Jinx is transfixed by the picture.

From behind Jinx a voice arises: “Remember where that pic was taken?.” Jinx turns, and it’s Lucas. “San Antonio,” says Jinx.  “I remember you were surprised by how small the Alamo actually was,” replies Lucas.  Jinx agrees. “I imagined it being larger than life.”  Lucas follows up with: “I miss hanging out with you.  Let’s get together this summer, okay?” Jinx mumbles a half-hearted, “sure.”

The subtext, of course, is that we tend to make things bigger than they tend to be, and in particular, Jinx has made the accident bigger in his mind than it is in others. But Jinx of course can’t see that — yet.

We need to bring Hunter back for another appearance to offset the good feelings we just got from Jinx and Lucas.  So Lucas leaves the house and runs into Hunter and his goons. There is an argument over whose side Lucas is on.  Lucas makes it clear where he stands and moves on. Hunter mentions to his guys to watch out for Lucas.  He might get in the way of their plans, and if they have to, they’ll take care of him as well.

We’ll continue working on this and post the next part of our outline (and other random thoughts) soon.  In addition, because of some of you may want to see the continuing outline as we go so we’ll create a page that has our progress.  If there is anything else you’d like to see, please let us know!


The further adventures of the screenwriting and marketing process of Lake Regret wherein Gary Howell documents his and Rick Hansberry's screenwriting adventures from concept, to the writing, to how they handle disagreements, to marketing the script. Reproduced with permission

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Trust Me by Pia Cook – Filmed again - post author Don

Trust Me (6 pages in pdf format) by P.H. Cook

A little girl in danger is happy to be saved by a police officer…


TRUST ME (2018) – SHORT FILM from Dylan Avery on Vimeo.

Discuss this script on the Discussion Board

See another version of the film and read a script review.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Happy Halloween! - post author Don


Pumpkin Nightmare II from Indie Me on Vimeo.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Original Script Sunday for October 28th - post author Don

Over on the Original Scripts page are thirteen original scripts for your reading pleasure.

– Don

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Getting into Subtext with our Script – Lake Regret - post author Gary Howell

A good script is going to have a lot of layers to it, in other words, it’s not just A, then B, then C, then D.  That results in a pretty thin script.  One of the best ways to add subtlety to your script and build unique characters is by adding subtext.  As we’re building our outline, Rick and I are always looking for ways to add subtext to the story.

What is subtext you ask? It’s really just an underlying or deftly hidden action by a character.  Rick is a master of the subtext, and I’ll let him explain his thinking on the subject:

If there was a strength or skill to consistently work on as you ply your craft as a screenwriter, I’d recommend it be adding subtext to each of your scenes. It makes movies so much more impactful when you’re watching them and enhances your characters and story immensely. Sometimes, in ways you don’t even put together right away — I’ll offer two examples, one from an older film and one from a more contemporary film, that I use in my screenwriting workshops to illustrate:

1. Think back to “The Graduate.” – There are countless examples in this film alone (Mike Nichols was a genius and you’d do well to listen, watch and learn from his incredible body of work) but I specifically love this simple example: Remember, early in the film, Dustin Hoffman has graduated college and is basically loafing at his parent’s house, unsettled and unsure of what he wants to do with his life. This frustrates his career-minded father to no end. One day, the Father comes home and his shoulders collapse upon seeing Dustin Hoffman floating on a raft in their pool, just chilling and thinking. He, of course, pleads that it’s time to ‘do something with your life’ and Dustin merely looks at him and feels very misunderstood. For me, the beautiful subtext in this scene is that it’s set for our directionless character in a pool where he’s literally drifting aimlessly. The mere visual of him ‘drifting’ enhances the message so beautifully, yet it doesn’t hit you over the head and scream: This guy’s got no direction in his life! Subtext. It adds so much. Do it in every scene.

2. Then there’s “Titanic.” — James Cameron, ’the screenwriter’ is as equally talented as James Cameron, ‘the director.’ Reading his scripts, the visuals pop and he’s very conscious of subtext in pivotal scenes. Remember, toward the end of the first half of the film, Rose’s mother is helping her dress for the Captain’s dinner and making it very clear to Rose how important it is for her to stick with the ‘money and established’ suitor she’s positioned Rose for, rather than that impulsive bad boy Leonardo something-or-other. As she’s basically telling Rose what to do, what is Rose’s mother actually doing? Tightening her corset. She literally pulling the strings and tightening the pressure on Rose to her specifications. Rose is visibly uncomfortable yet her mother tightens and adds pressure. Again, it’s all very natural and organic because someone has to do it but the subtext of having Rose’s mother communicate her wishes this way, enhances the message, her character and the take-away from the scene exponentially.

Re-watch any of your favorite movies. There’s probably countless examples, some of which you may have missed on the first few watchings. Good subtext is often that — submerged in the words and actions of the very natural. Get good at it and screenwriters of the future will be citing examples from your scripts to screenwriters learning the craft. It’s a universal strength and powerful tool to make your scripts engaging on multiple levels.

Thanks to Rick for this valuable insight!  We’ll be back soon with more work on our outline!


The further adventures of the screenwriting and marketing process of Lake Regret wherein Gary Howell documents his and Rick Hansberry's screenwriting adventures from concept, to the writing, to how they handle disagreements, to marketing the script. Reproduced with permission

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Skip by Gary Howell – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - post author Dena McKinnon

Skip (3 pages in pdf format) by Gary Howell

A woman finds it difficult to communicate with her mother, but will that change when her great-granddaughter comes for a visit?

Jane drops her daughter, Sophie, off with Anna, her mother, Sophie’s grandmother. Sophia sings an old but memorable jump rope song. Anna recognizes this old song and chimes in. They sing together as Sophie jumps.

And the generations don’t stop there! Anna takes Sophia along to the retirement home to visit Gloria, Anna’s mother, Sophie’s great grandmother. Anna wheels Gloria out into the garden. She tries to talk with Gloria, but we learn Gloria has lost her memory. However, as Gloria takes interest in young Sophia, a smile comes to her face and for that moment, her memory is reawakened by the chant of the old jump rope rhyme, Cinderella dressed in yellow… and just when we think her memory is back, Anna asks Gloria if she recognizes her. But it is a very sad moment when Gloria doesn’t respond.

This is a sad but sweet story that would be super low budget and easy to produce. It’s a strong piece that everyone can relate to. No matter our age, we all know time is something we cannot stop or even turn back without a time machine but it’s part of life.

Things I love about Skip:

I love the way the writer scans over four generations weaving the jump rope rhyme throughout. We see youth in Sophie, the middle aged always-on-the-go in Jane, the gracefully aging Anna and then Gloria who is in a state of waiting for death to come. I super love the way the writer touches our heart at the end when we see that Sophie has left her jump rope in Gloria’s lap. This story makes a reader appreciate each stage of life. It is also chock full of female cast which is hot right now, and it’s a story I think could wow a lot of festivals!

Production: Budget – low; Actors – four and one extra; Locations – 2

About the Writer: Gary Howell is an attorney by trade, but a writer at heart. He has written several shorts, one of which was recently produced, “Country Road 12” that stars Dee Wallace (“E.T.”, “Poltergeist”). He has also co-written with Rick Hansberry a dramedy, “According to Plan”, that was optioned with Josh Monkarsh of Traffic City Productions, and is in development. He has had a manager reach out regarding representation after a drama pilot, “Bounty,” has performed well in a couple of competitions.

Recently Gary and Rick started working on a new script together (“Lake Regret”) and they’re blogging about the process from beginning to end, including the marketing and hopefully eventual sale and production of the script. You can read about their efforts at www.lakeregretmovie.com.

Gary enjoys writing both comedy and drama, and leans towards indie-themed pieces that are character driven. He enjoys reviewing scripts and providing advice and constructive criticism to other writers, and would welcome the opportunity to work collaboratively with any producers/directors looking to work with him on any type of project. Gary can be reached at: GaryMHowell (a) gmail.

Read Skip (3 pages in pdf format)

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Find more scripts available for production

About the reviewer: Dena McKinnon is an optioned and produced screenwriter who also writes on assignment. Her IMDb credits. She can be reached at: girlbytheshore (a) hotmail.

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November 17, 2018

    Understand by Niklas Gløsen

    Reality gets torn down with every wave that washes over us. 20 pages - Won the yearly young artist award from Trafo - Note: Not in screenplay format
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