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Monday, May 23, 2011

Dressed To Kill – Filmed - post author Don

This just in from Jerry.

“A film student shot… [my short, Dressed to Kill] (with my permission, of course). I did authorize him to make one very obvious change, and I think it works well. Anyway, I kinda dug seeing my script come to life, so… here it is:”

Dressed To Kill from Tyson Maughan on Vimeo.

Read the original script Dressed to Kill by Jerry Akin – Short, Drama – A distressed widower prepares for revenge. 4 pages – pdf format

Talk about it on the Discussion Board

18 Comments so far


anozie chiwenite umunna
May 24th, 2011 at 9:36 am

is a quiet intresting script


Dusti Jones
May 25th, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Thank you for letting us use your script. I hope you’re happy with how it turned out.


Vincent Marshall
May 31st, 2011 at 12:34 am

Very well done both with the script then the film. Kudos to everyone involved.


Tyson Maughan
May 31st, 2011 at 1:43 am

Thanks Vincent. It was a fun project and fairly rewarding. It has opened a few doors.


May 31st, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Here is what is wrong with this clip.
1. do not film cliche ideas
2.take lots shots and know how edit while filming
3. frame scenes we have not seen yet, be original
4. control your color so it is gritty and not too pedestrian-like
5. and study cinematography, your short film lacks a cool touch
6. your short is very simple and too film school bore
7. it does not show anything like what we see at Cannes
8. it has zero grit over passionate vim
9. there is no suspense
10 its not high calibre, very go nowhere vibe to it
11. there is no coolness
12. lack of editing, with pizzaz and energy, too turtleish
13. no risk taken as a director, so living with parents feel
14. boring


June 1st, 2011 at 1:31 am

^^What a jerk


June 2nd, 2011 at 1:06 pm

I loved it. I thought the woman in the room was the driver and the narrator would come to the door and and kill her before she goes out for the night. Very good, either way.


June 2nd, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Gotta love the overly constructive criticism from experts like Bill. Especially this gem:

“7. it does not show anything like what we see at Cannes”

For what it’s worth, I thought Tyson did a great job pulling it off, and Dusti played her character with a lot of heart. I was flattered to have them make it. We’re talking about film students and a young, aspiring writer here. Bill, please get over yourself.


June 5th, 2011 at 1:05 am


That would have been a pretty interesting approach. I hadn’t thought about it that way. Being it was Jerry’s work I wanted to stay fairly close to the original concept.


This is what I felt was wrong with your thoughts on the clip.

1.) It wasn’t my idea.
2.) “Take lots shots”….? If you understood filmmaking you would know that you shoot what is important.
3.) That just doesn’t even make sense. The whole piece is “original.”
4.) The film was supposed to be somber and the color and feel exemplified that emotion.
5.) A “cool touch” what does that even mean? Two ASC members would disagree with that statement.
6.) The concept and subject matter was “very simple.” What did you expect? Transformers?
7.) That statement is just retarded. I’m not even going to justify that with a response.
8.) Vim? Just a heads up…That’s not a word in the English language. Dictionaries can be super useful. The film didn’t call for “Grit,” so I didn’t make it feel that way.
9.) It’s a simple story about a woman and how she deals with her decisions. Thats it. Suspenseful or not it really doesn’t matter.
10.) 10 & 11 are just too stupid to even respond to.
12.) Not sure who taught you filmmaking, but It appears they left out that drama depended on subject matter doesn’t have editing that is…”with pizzaz and energy.” You have no idea what you are talking about.
13.) haha, “Living with parents feel?” Please enlighten me what is not a “living with parents feel.”
14.) The industry people that have seen it that matter would disagree with you.

I would be absolutely thrilled to see one of your films by the way, and if “it does not show anything like what we see at Cannes.” I’m sure you’ll be the first to know about it.


Rebecca James
June 7th, 2011 at 4:08 am

Thank you all so much for sharing this. It is really interesting to first read the script and then watch what it was created in to. The way it all comes together is astounding. Great job to everyone involved!


June 7th, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Thank you Rebecca. Taking someone else writing and inturpreting it in your own way is what makes filmmaking exciting. I was unfortunately restricted by time and money, but felt it really captured what the character was emotionally going through.


Basil Sunshine
June 9th, 2011 at 8:31 pm

That was beautifully done. I did not see that ending coming! Congrats!!


Rebbeca Black
June 12th, 2011 at 9:47 am

it’s friday good


June 14th, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Man, what is wrong with you. You got to wake up and smell the the NAPAN, dude. Your short film is not bad, but it’s really not good either. You have to get a grip on the power of cinema and understand what I’m trying to teach you. Listen carefully and make notes. Cinema and short films (in your world) has to be filmed in one’s head before it is filmed. It appears you have filmed it without any sense of artistic organization or planning. It’s a typical student film that makes me sick with ulcers. It’s okay but really – it SUCKS!. You have to go to the next level and stop living in the basement of Hollywood. Take the elevator and a MAKE a better short film. This is what I need you to do (don’t laugh at me, only if you knew who I am ) – work harder and not to give up on achieving your cinematic style. Your clip is like Lady Gaga when she was in high school. If that make sense to you. Think about that. I am trying to connect to your level. I asked my producer to take a look at this for fun, she hated it. Frankly, I know the history of films, this is not zero in Spike Lee-esque revolution or “famedom” or anything close to getting very top lead executives rolling with financial and passionate delight and festivals coordinators to go GA GA!

Do me a favor Tyson – watch Spike Lee SHE GOT TO HAVE IT – and make a short film better than that.

Sorry Tyson, your short film does not cut the mustard.

Leave your nest and fly with visionaries. It does not take money. It takes cinematic vision and dreams. Dream it and then film it with a better cinematographer. The one you have is like a clown at at the Ice Cream parlor. Sorry, tell him or her to think like an artist.

You will make it. Just take more risks.



Mary Katherine
June 17th, 2011 at 11:43 am

i liked the lighting and the actress and the simplicity of it. it was very ‘human’ and interesting. there are people out there who want to see real.


Rick Brandon
June 18th, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Very nice. I liked the monolog. I like the photography. Your use of ambient light and shadow, nice. Could have it been better? Yes. Everything can be better. You did take me into a different world. It’s just, the character, I didn’t care about her. So, if she shot herself, I wouldn’t loose any sleep over it. Film is visual. I didn’t see her in love. I listened to her being in love. Sometimes short films can be too short. I really liked it.


Rick Brandon


June 21st, 2011 at 10:50 pm


I had no budget, 5 hours, a skeleton crew, and 27 shots. How in the world are you comparing me to Spike Lee?

You and you producer are clowns.

Please grace everyone here with some of your work so we can see a film that…how did you say?….cuts the mustard.


July 16th, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Good stuff.

I understand that you must contact Jerry Akin to shoot an adaption of his screenplay.

How do I contact him?


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