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INT. SOUTHERN DORMITORY - DORM ROOM - EARLY MORNING
We've seen this set-up before -- NIA passed out in bed,
drunk, with a black eye.
Her roommate, TAWNY, draws back the blinds drenching the room
in sunlight.
POSTSCRIPT: SATURDAY MORNING, 7:18 AM
NIA
God. My head.
TAWNY
It's such a beautiful day. I think
I might spend the morning at the
park. Want to join me?
Nia gives her a look like there is no way in hell I'm getting
out this fucking bed.
TAWNY
Fine. Suit yourself.
Nia keels over and pukes in the garbage can.
NIA
(after a beat)
So, get that money yet?
ZOOM BACK TO:
EXT. ROGER'S DINER - MORNING
SCOTT exits the diner. He lights a cigarette and gets in his
car. As Tawny sleeps in the passengers seat, Scott eyes her
in her helpless state.
POSTSCRIPT: 7AM
Scott outs his cigarette then caresses Tawny's boobs.
His hand lingers there for a beat as Tawny awakes -- hand
already in her pocket she reveals a small bottle of pepper
spray and drench's Scott right in the eyes.
SCOTT
Agh! That burns you bitch!
TAWNY
Take me home. Now!
SCOTT
You think I can drive like this? It
fuckin' burns.
TAWNY
Then I'll drive.
Tawny and Scott exchange seats. The plastic cover of the
steering column is off and in complete disarray -- wires
estray everywhere. Scott is withering in obvious pain.
SCOTT
I need some water.
TAWNY
Milk. You use milk... and don't rub
your eyes.
Tawny slams on the gas and peels out the parking lot.
INT. SOUTHERN DORMITORY - HALLWAY
Nia staggers down the hallway drunk. Two geeks -- SHELDON, 18
and DEXTER, 18 -- are playing miniature golf in the hallway.
SHELDON
Four!
POSTSCRIPT: 90 MINUTES EARLIER
Sheldon chips in a shot. A hole in one.
SHELDON
That's 20 bucks.
Dexter hands him the money.
DEXTER
Lucky. Okay, Sheldon. Last game.
Dexter sets up the hole at the other end of the hallway.
DEXTER
Double or nothing.
SHELDON
What?
DEXTER
Double or nothing!
Sheldon steadies his glasses, then grips the golf club. Nia
turns the corner and heads for her door.
Sheldon swings and sends the ball flying. It ricochets off
the wall and cracks Nia dead in the eye.
SHELDON
Oh, my god. Are you alright, Nia!
NIA
You fucking little shit! That hurt.
Nia chases Sheldon down, rips the gold club from his grasp,
and cracks him over the head with it. Dexter disappears.
NIA
Come back Poindexter and take it
like a man!
Sheldon takes this small window of opportunity to run back to
his room. Nia throws up at his door step.
NIA
There. Something to remember me by.
EXT. CAMPUS - CAR - MOVING
POSTSCRIPT: 10 MINUTES EARLIER
Nia and her friend, EBONY, are passed out in the back seat.
WESLEY, 24, drives.
Wesley is your average super senior who spends most his time
getting drunk and hitting on girls then hitting the books.
Wesley pulls up outside the dorm. He slaps Ebony hard on the
ass.
EBONY
Asshole.
WESLEY
We're here, Betty Boo.
EXT. NORTHERN DORMITORY - NIGHT
NATE talks to MOSS, 28 -- the incompetent campus security
guard.
POSTSCRIPT: 5 MINUTES EARLIER
NATE
You know how we do it up north.
Everyone's ripped, enjoying
themselves. We weren't making any
kind of noise.
It was probably those bitches in
4C. They never liked me from day
one.
MOSS
I still have to do my job, Nate.
What am I supposed to tell the
boss?
Nate hands Moss and fat bag of weed and $200 dollars.
NATE
I'm sure you'll think of something.
INT. NORTHERN DORMITORY - NATE'S DORM ROOM
POSTSCRIPT: 10 MINUTES EARLIER
Nate stands outside his dorm room talking to Moss.
MOSS
Who called doesn't matter. I'm here
to help. Secure the campus. Keep it
safe so you bastards can keep your
mind on your school work.
NATE
I know, I know.
MOSS
So, what happened?
Suddenly, the room door fly's open and we are hit with a
cloud of smoke. SIX GUYS bust out the room and scamper away
like scared rabbits.
INT. NATE'S DORM ROOM
POSTSCRIPT: 3 MINUTES EARLIER
Nate and his friends are experiencing the highest of highs.
Marijuana joints are passed around like gifts at Christmas
time. Included in the group is OSCAR, and Nates older brother
DONOVAN, 22.
A KNOCK is heard at the door. Everyone quiets down.
NATE
Yeah?
MOSS (O.S.)
Campus security!
DONOVAN
Mothafucka.
NATE
Easy. I'll take care of this.
Nate slips out, careful not to open the door too wide so Moss
won't see what goes on inside.
NATE
What's up, Moss? My nigga. What can
I help you with?
MOSS
I'm here because of the noise.
Someone called in.
NATE
So I take it your here on official
police business?
INT. NATE'S DORM ROOM - CONT'D
Everyone is panicking.
OSCAR
Look, I can't get caught. My career
would be worth shit.
LONG HAIRED KID
Hey, I'm on probation. I shouldn't
even be here.
FRESHMAN
We're all gonna get arrested!
DONOVAN
Calm down. Nate knows how to handle
this.
OSCAR
(after a beat)
But what if he doesn't? I got NBA
dreams on the line, Donovan.
FRESHMAN
I gotta get outta here.
DONOVAN
The paper cop is by the door. Where
you gonna go?
FRESHMAN
I'll jump out the window.
LONG HAIRED KID
Who are you, the bionic man? We're
3 floors up dickhead.
OSCAR
Look, there's 6 of us. He can't
catch us all.
Everyone thinks for a second and realize that maybe Oscar is
right.
INT. THE BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL - NIGHT
It's Friday night, or get wasted night. Nia shakes her ass on
top of the bar.
POSTSCRIPT: 4AM
Nia takes off her shirt and throws it into the mob of horny
COLLEGE BOY'S looking on.
INT. THE BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL
POSTSCRIPT: 20 MINUTES EARLIER
Wesley makes out with Nia in the men's bathroom. Nia slams
Wesley against the toilet stale door. She shoves him inside
and closes the door behind her.
Underneath the stale door we see Nia drop down to her knees
and Wesley's pants drop down to his ankles.
INT. BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL
POSTSCRIPT: 2 MINUTES EARLIER
Ebony is passed out on the table. Nia takes a shot of liquor.
She grabs Wesley's and whispers something in his ear.
INT. BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL
POSTSCRIPT: 15 MINUTES EARLIER
Nia licks whip cream off a Blonde Girl's stomach. They take
Jellow shots, then french kiss like two long lost lovers.
EXT. AUNT MAY'S HOUSE OF EXOTIC - NIGHT
POSTSCRIPT: 3 AM
Tawny and Scott exit the peep show.
INT. AUNT MAY'S HOUSE OF EXOTIC
Tawny and Scott make out in a small booth. Through the glass
window, 4 STRIPPERS dance about a dimly lit stage.
POSTSCRIPT: 2 MINUTES EARLIER
Tawny pushes Scott away.
TAWNY
This is weird. I want to leave.
SCOTT
Are you kidding me? You got some
serious problems that need to be
address ASAP.
EXT. AUNT MAY'S HOUSE OF EXOTIC - CAR - NIGHT
POSTSCRIPT: 15 MINUTES EARLIER
SCOTT
Are you serious?
TAWNY
Yes. Let's go.
SCOTT
Well, Tawny... who am I to say no?
INT. BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL - NIGHT
POSTSCRIPT: 15 MINUTES EARLIER
Nia sits at the bar with 3 empty glasses in front of her. The
Bartender hands her another beer. Nia chugs it down straight.
NIA
(re: empty beer glass)
Hey, bartender! Nia needs a refill!
INT. BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL
POSTSCRIPT: 1 MINUTE EARLIER
Nia, with two empty glasses in front of her, orders another
beer.
INT. BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL
POSTSCRIPT: 2 MINUTES EARLIER
Nia, with one empty glass in front of her, orders another.
INT. BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL
POSTSCRIPT: 3 MINUTES EARLIER
Nia and Wesley throw back a shot.
NIA
One more, Wesley.
WESLEY
Naw, baby. I'm from Texas and I
can't fuck with you no more.
Wesley staggers off back into the crowd.
NIA
Bartender! Give me a shot and a
beer, and keep it coming honey!
EXT. AUTO MALL USED CAR LOT - NIGHT
Tawny waits across the street. Scott comes out the lot
driving a brand new car he just boosted. He pulls up to
Tawny.
SCOTT
Going my way, sweetheart?
Tawny gets in.
POSTSCRIPT: 2 AM
SCOTT
Where too?
TAWNY
I want to go see a peep show.
Scott can't believe what just came out of her mouth. But
Tawny is dead serious.
SCOTT
Have you ever been to one?
TAWNY
Why do you think I'm asking?
SCOTT
Nothing. The more I get to know you
the more I like.
EXT. THE BLUE LAGOON BAR AND GRILL - NIGHT
POSTSCRIPT: 20 MINUTES EARLIER
Wesley, Nia and Ebony arrive. They are ready for a night of
heavy drinking that they soon will forget.
NIA
(to Ebony)
I don't feel like getting wasted
tonight.
EBONY
So why'd you come?
NIA
I came for your companionship and
witty banter.
EBONY
Banter?
INT. SOUTHERN DORMITORY - HALLWAY - NIGHT
Sheldon and Dexter set up the dorm hallway for their night of
golf action.
DEXTER
Friday night and this is how we're
spending it?
SHELDON
I'm sorry I broke the Playstation.
Shit happens. I was studying for 3
hours, it was dark... how many
times do I have to apologize?
DEXTER
Okay, okay. Twenty bucks a game.
Two shots each.
Wesley turns the corner and knocks on Nia's dorm room door.
Down the hallway, Sheldon grabs his golf clubs and sets for
his shot.
SHELDON
Welcome to the first annual Star
Wars classic.
Dexter laughs.
SHELDON (CONT'D)
The legendary Sheldon Brown has
come out of retirement just for
this tournament. He set's up on the
green. He grips his clubs... yes,
those same clubs that even Tiger
Woods envy's. He quiets the crowd
down... ready's for his shot --
Sheldon swings wildly. Nia, Wesley and Ebony step out the
dorm room as the ball comes flying down the hallway, nearly
hitting them.
SHELDON
Sorry!
NIA
Sheldon. I swear to god if you hit
me.
SHELDON
My fault. Won't happen again.
NIA
It better not!
(under her breath)
Fucking losers.
EXT. SOUTHERN DORMITORY - NIGHT
POSTSCRIPT: 1:43 AM
Everyone piles into Wesley's car. Ebony turns on the CD
player. Weird Indian music plays.
EBONY
What the fuck is this?
WESLEY
It's a long story baby doll. Maybe
one night you come up to my crib
and I explain it all to you over
diner?
NIA
So lady and gentlemen, were too?
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