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Black screen.

Light piano melody begins.

EXT. SWEEPING CORN FIELD IN KANSAS - DAY

NARRATOR

Thomas Lear. Wealthy entrepreneur. Also known as the King of Topeka. The owner of Lear Enterprises since its beginning in 1963. He operates the world's largest corn-husking factory. Lear also runs twelve other small businesses in Topeka. And like most rich businessmen who own large areas of land in Kansas...

FLASH TO:

EXT. CITYSCAPE - SUNSET

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

...He lives in upper New York City.

Cut to black.

Black and white photograph of THOMAS LEAR (70), eyes crossed.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Lear is well respected in the city, but, in secret, not well liked. To many, he comes across as childish and very immature. He generally whines until he gets his way. He's a ripe seventy years old and grows more senile by the minute.

Black and white photograph of Lear with wife and three daughters: GANEANE (45), REGEN (40), and CATHY (33). Wife slowly fades out of picture, as Lear's smiles fades to a frown.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Lear's wife died on his fortieth birthday. Terrible Chuck-E-Cheese incident.

INT. CHUCK-E-CHEESE BALL CAGE

A HAND struggles to reach out from a sea of plastic balls in a cage. The hand eventually gives up, attempts to grab onto a glass wall, and slowly sinks into the balls. Young Ganeane, Regen, and Cathy look on in horror.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Lear was left alone to work and care for his three traumatized daughters. Some of whom are more of a handful than others, but all are employees of Lear Enterprises.

FADE TO:

Black and white photo of Ganeane.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

His eldest daughter, Ganeane. More intelligent than both of her sisters, but also greedier.

Wedding photo of Ganeane and husband SAM ALBANY (50), hugging in order to pick the other's pocket.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Married to affluent CEO Sam Albany. Both in it for the money.

Photo of Ganeane and her manservant OSWALD BENINI (50), both topless.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Ganeane's manservant, Oswald Benini. Old friend of the family. Albany suspects nothing.

Photo of Regen.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Regen, Lear's second oldest daughter. A spoiled brat in every sense of the word.

Wedding photo of Regen and VITO CORNWALL (38), gun hanging out of Cornwall's pocket.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Married Vito Cornwall, former mobster, on a whim. Rumor has it that Cornwall maintains connections to the mafia. Regen doesn't mind.

Photo of Cathy, smiling.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

And finally, Lear's youngest, Cathy. A complete and total sweetheart. Kindest girl one could ever meet. Works closely with animal rights. Teaches blind children to read.

Photo of Cathy with the pope.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Dubbed the honorary saint of chastity by the Pope. Impossible to hate.

Photos of ALAN BURGUNDY (30) and PIERRE LEBEAU (32).

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Suitors come at her from all directions. Cathy is just about ready to take a husband.

Photo of DAVID KENT (52).

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

David Kent, President of Lear Enterprises and trusted friend of Thomas himself. Loyal employee with friends in low places.

Thick, loud 'That's Amore'-type Italian music begins.

Giavacci family portrait: EARL GIAVACCI (65), EDGAR GIAVACCI (35), and EDMUND GIAVACCI (35). Earl looks like the godfather and Edgar has a large Italian mustache. Edmund is black.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

The Giavacci family. Friends of Kent and, by extension, Lear.

Photo of Earl Giavacci.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Mob boss Earl Giavacci. Wanted for murder in 47 of the 48 contiguous United States. Well-respected, but for different reasons than Lear.

Photo of Giavacci handing policemen large sums of money.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Yet to be arrested.

Photo of Edgar.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Edgar Giavacci, Earl's beloved son. Next in line to run the Giavacci family. Good-natured and kind-hearted.

Photo of Edgar in bikini.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Also has a few screws loose. Currently in therapy.

Photo of Edmund, frowning.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Edmund Giavacci, Earl's hated illegitimate son. Born the same day as Edgar, but in a different state.

Photo of Earl shoving Edmund's head into a toilet.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Receives little respect from his father. Absolutely envious of Edgar.

Photo of Edmund, dressed like a pimp, ladies on each arm.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Real ladies' man, however.

Group photo of the Lear and Giavacci families, along with Kent and Oswald.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Two seemingly different families that, in reality, are very much the same. And so begins our tale of murder, lust, intrigue, and men dressed like babies.

OPENING TITLES

INT. GANEANE'S OFFICE

Papers are sprawled out across the desk. The Lear/Giavacci family portrait hangs on the wall.

Ganeane stands behind the desk and places a large MAP on it. The map is of Kansas and labeled with cartoon factories with the word 'Lear' on each one. Ganeane's sisters, Regen and Cathy, stand at the other end of the desk.

GANEANE

As I'm sure you two have figured out, dad's getting rather...old.

REGEN

For God's sake, the man's bowels are looser than Anna Nicole Smith.

Cathy angrily attempts to interject, but Ganeane interrupts.

GANEANE

Just think of the money we waste on Depends alone.

Ganeane starts pointing to factories on the map.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

I think it's time we began to divide up the factories. We can't allow a doddering old washout to keep trying to run such a large business.

REGEN

He might break a hip.

GANEANE

Or accidentally sell it to the Germans again.

CATHY

Hey! Leave dad alone! He's doing all he can...and that was only one time.

REGEN

I apologize Cathy. I didn't realize you inherited his ability to be socially retarded.

GANEANE

I pray you didn't also inherit his ability to scream profanities whenever he sees Margaret Thatcher.

Regen and Ganeane smirk at each other. Ganeane points to a large hunk of the map.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

Anyway, I would be allotted this portion of the factories. As the eldest, I feel that I am entitled to the largest area of land. Both of you can split the rest.

REGEN

Whoa! Hold on one second.

CATHY

Yeah. Why do you get to make the call?

GANEANE

Because I am much smarter than both of you. I'm the only one who could truly make an educated decision.

CATHY

You're just as capable at making decisions as...dad is. Nothing makes you special.

REGEN

Cathy, that's a great idea!

CATHY

What is?

REGEN

We'll let dad make the decision.

CATHY

No!

REGEN

And why not? Don't you want to prove that dad's just as sharp and on-the-ball as he used to be?

CATHY

Well, yes, but...

REGEN

Or are you just scared that dad would make us do some kind of test to prove who's the most deserving?

GANEANE

Scared he might base his decision on intelligence?

REGEN

Or athletic prowess?

CATHY

Uh...of...of course not.

GANEANE & REGEN

Good!

Ganeane and Regen take up the map and exit. Cathy gulps.

CUT TO:

EXT. LEAR'S MANSION - DAY - ESTABLISHING

Lear's mansion towers over the suburban streets. Everyone walking by turns their head in admiration.

CUT TO:

INT. LEAR'S MANSION - ENTRANCE HALL

Kent and Giavacci walk into Lear's huge ballroom-style entrance hall. It is empty, but could comfortably fit the entire population of Wyoming. Large double doors shut behind them. Seconds later, Edmund walks through, meandering behind the two men.

GIAVACCI

I see that all Lear has to do is snap his fingers and you come running.

KENT

It seems you came too.

GIAVACCI

Yeah, well, I just threw Jimmy the Snitch in the river and I figured I better get outta there. What's your excuse?

KENT

I'm reasonably sure what this meeting is for.

GIAVACCI

What would that be?

Kent and Giavacci start up the gigantic main stairwell. Edmund follows, several steps behind.

KENT

The man just turned seventy. I think his daughters have finally realized that it's their time to step in as corporation heads.

GIAVACCI

Do you want them disposed of?

Kent stops on the stairs, shadowed by Giavacci and Edmund.

KENT

God, no! Stop killing people!

GIAVACCI

Sorry, it's a habit.

KENT

I know. It's just...Lear hired you to take care of his business around the city. I don't think he'd be pleased to know how you take care of it.

GIAVACCI

So you're going to help them girls divide up the business, then?

KENT

That's what I'm assuming.

Kent glances at Edmund. Edmund avoids eye contact.

KENT (CONT'D)

Your son's following us.

GIAVACCI

He does that sometimes. He's a bastard.

KENT

I assume you're using the proper definition of the word. I could tell by the resemblance.

GIAVACCI

You should've seen his mother, though. Firmest ass this side of Brooklyn. I'd do her any day.

KENT

Well, Edmund's a handsome boy.

GIAVACCI

He better be. With all the fun his mother and I had makin' him...right, Edmund?

Edmund nods, shy but annoyed. Giavacci slaps him hard on the back.

GIAVACCI (CONT'D)

That's my boy!

KENT

We better get going. Lear gets impatient.

The three men continue up the stairs.

GIAVACCI

Hold up, Kent. If you're here to help divide up the business, what does the antique want with me?

KENT

Oh, yes. Could you go fetch LeBeau and Burgundy? Ganeane and Regen's husbands should be attending this and I think Lear's hoping that after today Cathy will finally stop dating every man she sees. We believe Pierre and Alan may be our best bets.

GIAVACCI

Consider it done. C'mon, Edmund.

Giavacci and Edmund exit through the double doors.

KENT

...And don't kill anyone!

The doors fall shut.

CUT TO:

INT. UPSTAIRS OF LEAR'S MANSION

Ganeane and Regen walk through the upstairs hallway, whispering. Cathy trails behind.

REGEN

I'm glad dad was finally able to see things our way.

GANEANE

Don't overestimate him. The best must be yet to come.

Sam Albany and Vito Cornwall stand at the end of the hall next to a doorway. Ganeane and Regen royally approach their respective husbands and simultaneously KISS them on the cheek. Cathy walks past and enters the doorway, head hanging.

GANEANE

Poor girl. She'll never be happy until she settles down.

REGEN

Oh, she's just playing the field.

CORNWALL

What are you talking about? That girl was evicted from the field years ago.

Regen kisses Cornwall again. They enter the doorway.

GANEANE

Thanks for coming. I figured there's a better chance at our division of the business being huge if my wonderfully wealthy husband joined me in splitting it up.

ALBANY

And I'm sure you wouldn't want to make any major decisions without your beloved spouse.

Ganeane laughs and heads inside the door. Albany shrugs off the laugh and enters into a conference room. There is a large window in the back of it, revealing the New York skyline.

Kent stands in the corner closest to the entrance. Cathy, Regen, and Cornwall are already seated around a long table. Ganeane and Albany take their seats across from the other three.

KENT

Any sign of your dad yet?

GANEANE

No. I'm sure he's running late like usual.

CORNWALL

...If he shows at all.

Kent takes a seat next to Ganeane.

KENT

Well, he is a busy man.

REGEN

At least he won't have to worry about that anymore.

LEAR (O.S.)

We better get started then.

Thomas Lear stands comfortably in the doorway of the meeting room. For an old man, he moves rather quickly. All eyes follow him as he proceeds to the head of the table.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Thanks for coming out. I realized that, under the advice of my pushy but loving daughters...

Ganeane and Regen give Lear a big fake smile. Cathy rolls her eyes.

LEAR (CONT'D)

...That it is about time I divided up my business. I asked Mr. Kent to join us this afternoon also. He's here to crunch a few numbers. Make sure everything goes smoothly. We have a lot of business to get through today. Kent, please lower the map.

Kent nods and rises. He dims the lights in the room and flips a small SWITCH. A large map of Kansas lowers from the ceiling. It is labeled with factories and Lear's land boundaries. Albany leans to Ganeane and whispers.

ALBANY

He doesn't seem very senile. Not nearly as bad as you say he is.

GANEANE

I'm sure he prepared this opening ahead of time. Wait until he has to speak off-the-cuff. He's as poised as a corpse.

Kent returns to his seat. He exchanges fake smiles with Ganeane.

LEAR

Thank you very much, Mr. Kent. Now I have decided to divide everything up into three areas. Each daughter receiving a piece. I'm very glad to see Mr. Albany and Mr. Cornwall could accompany their wives here. It's vital that they also play a part in this process. And as for the beautiful Cathy, there should be two more guests joining us shortly.

REGEN

Well, let's get started! Cathy can get her land when her men come.

LEAR

My dear Regen...

Lear stands behind Regen, placing his decrepit HANDS on her shoulders. She cringes.

LEAR (CONT'D)

This process is not as simple as you girls expect.

Cathy laughs. Lear ignores it.

LEAR (CONT'D)

I can't just divide up the land based on intelligence or age or physical abilities. It has to be more than that. Something that would make me

(MORE)

feel better about myself. I have decided to give the most land to the daughter who can best answer this question: Who loves me most? Let's get started. Ganeane, go!

KENT

Whoa! Sir, with all due respect, this is highly unorthodox.

LEAR

The business still belongs to me, so I'm going to do what I want with it. Ganeane, answer! How much do you love your beloved father? The man who raised you, fed you, supported you, and, most importantly, loved you. How much do you love him?

GANEANE

Well...um...I love you more than words can say. More than life itself. I love you more than any daughter has ever loved her father. I've always given you presents. I bought you that Jeep Cherokee last week. I don't think I could fully express how much I love you. You're a wonderful father.

LEAR

Beautiful! Here's five hundred dollars.

Lear walks by Ganeane, takes a WAD OF BILLS out of his back pocket, and slaps it down in front of her. Albany and her are visibly excited as Lear walks up to the large map and points to a huge portion.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Ganeane, you will get the northern and eastern factories. They're very easy to control. Most are actually sweatshops. You'll like them. In fact, you also get the office building uptown and are welcome to my large double in Manhattan. I hope you and Albany enjoy everything.

GANEANE

Wow! Thanks, dad!

ALBANY

I appreciate this very much, sir...

LEAR

Yeah, whatever. Next!

Cathy slouches in her chair to avoid being called on.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Regen, kid number two. You were always a real daddy's girl. How much do you love me? Please say a whole bunch.

REGEN

I think my sister said it pretty well. But, from the bottom of my heart, she made a huge understatement. I love you more than anything I could possibly think of. If you weren't around, dad, life wouldn't be worth living. Nothing else but you could ever make me happy. Vito is nothing in comparison.

CATHY

(whispering)

He's your father!

Regen shushes Cathy and politely smiles at Lear. He moves back to the map and points to a section much larger than Ganeane's.

LEAR

I think I'm going to cry! That was stupendous, Regen. You can have the entire central factory area. I'm switching my bank account over to you and my stockbroker's yours. You can head the big company building downtown and this mansion. You and Cornwall should be very happy.

CORNWALL

Hell, yeah.

REGEN

Thanks, dad.

Kent rises.

KENT

If I may interject, sir. This is getting way out of hand. You'll have nothing left!

LEAR

Material things mean nothing. My daughters love me! They'll care for their old beloved father and provide for him. Now sit down!

Kent sits. Lear approaches Cathy, smiling. Cathy looks around, nonchalantly. Lear grabs her face and turns it towards him.

LEAR

And finally, my pride and joy. The last but certainly not the least. Cathy, who has men coming at her from all directions. My very own Julia Roberts. Let's see what fine words you can say to get a little more land than your sisters. How much do you love me? What do you say?

CATHY

Um...I don't think I can say anything, dad.

Ganeane and Regen chuckle. Lear is shocked.

LEAR

What?

CATHY

I say nothing.

LEAR

Uh...Cathy? I think you're mistaken. You may have misheard me or something.

(MORE)

I'm dividing up my business and I asked you how much you love me. Now, you are my daughter, but you're not an idiot. If you say nothing, you'll get nothing. But I'll give you another chance. How much do you love me?

There is a lengthy silence in the room. Regen nudges Cathy.

REGEN

Don't be stupid. Say something.

CATHY

Well...I just can't find it in my heart to lie to you like Ganeane and Regen have. I really can't put into words what I believe. All I know is that you are my father and I love you. A daughter loves her father. That's all.

Again, the room freezes in shock. Kent winces and looks away in fear, preparing for...

LEAR

What, Cathy?! I raised you! You can't even answer one damn question! Stop being an ass and answer me! Don't make me ruin you!

CATHY

I understand that you raised me and brought me up in the name of love. I return that love.

Cathy rises to Lear.

CATHY (CONT'D)

Regen and Ganeane are married. It's just disgusting how they say they love you more than the men they sleep with every night. If I ever get married, God forbid, most of my love and devotion will be for my husband. I could never get married and love my own father the way Regen and Ganeane say they love you. I'm not like them!

LEAR

Take it back!

CATHY

I can't. Everything I said was the truth.

Lear immediately progresses into a fit of rage. He throws Cathy's CHAIR to the ground.

LEAR

Fine! Then I guess you'll just have to live and work for the truth! I don't remember the truth raising you and caring for you after its wife died! I don't remember the truth devoting its entire wretched, useless life to you! The truth has done nothing for you! I've done freakin' everything! As of this moment, Cathy, I disown you! You're a stranger to me now! I have no daughter!

ALBANY

Actually, sir, you do still have two daughters.

Kent rises and rushes to Lear, attempting to calm him down.

KENT

Sir, please...

LEAR

Shut up, Kent! Get out of my sight! I despise my former daughter! I loved her so much and was hoping to live with her after this ordeal. That plan's gone now. Good thing Alan and Pierre aren't here to see this!

Lear rushes over to the map and points to the areas he hasn't given out yet.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Albany, Cornwall, split up the rest of this area amongst yourselves! It's all yours now! And let Mr. Truth find Cathy a man! Ganeane and Regen get all of the company and employees. I'll live with each of you on alternating months. Cornwall, I'll need your help. Since I'm going to be out and about a lot more, I wanted you to make sure your special friends have my back.

CORNWALL

But I'm not part of them anymore...

LEAR

Yeah, right. I know how the mob works. You still have connections. If you want the company, get me some friends in high places.

CORNWALL

Um...very well, Mr. Lear.

LEAR

Good. Everything goes to Ganeane and Regen. Bye!

Lear marches out the door. The rest of the conference group follows. As Lear begins down the immense stairwell, Kent catches up and walks alongside him.

KENT

Thomas. I've worked under you for a good twenty years. With all due respect, sir, what the hell are you doing? You just disowned your daughter because she wouldn't flatter you. That's stupid. I know Cathy. She loves you more than anyone.

Lear stops at the bottom of the stairs. Kent does the same as the others stop on the lower steps.

LEAR

If you value your job, Mr. Kent, I suggest you keep your mouth shut!

KENT

You know I'd do anything for you, sir. Please listen to me.

LEAR

Go away!

Lear begins away from the group.

KENT

You're being a huge ass, Thomas!

Lear stops dead in his tracks. He reaches down and pulls up his right pant. He quickly relinquishes a GUN from his ankle holster and points it at Kent. Everyone backs off in shock.

LEAR

My own daughter couldn't even say she loves me, Kent!

CORNWALL

Whoa, Mr. Lear...

Lear points the gun at Cornwall. Cornwall steps back as Lear returns to Kent.

KENT

Sir. Put down the gun. I was only trying to show you...that what you're doing is very, very wrong.

LEAR

Listen, you bastard! How dare you stand up to me like this?! I'm still your boss! I can't believe you'd turn your back on me too. Twenty years, Kent. Twenty years!

Lear lowers his gun.

LEAR (cont'd)

Go away! I don't want to see you in my sight ever again! I disown you!

KENT

I'm not related to you!

LEAR

Then you're fired!

Silence.

Kent looks around in disbelief. He stares at the others, convicting them of refusing to come to his aid. He slowly turns back to Lear.

KENT

Then I guess this is good-bye...if that's how you want it.

(looks to Cathy)

God be with you. You actually have a conscience.

(looks to Ganeane and Regen)

I hope you two can live up to the lies you've told your father.

(to everyone)

It's been a pleasure working with you all. Don't worry about me. I'm sure there are plenty of other jobs out there.

Kent sorrowfully exits the entrance hall to the side. Upon leaving, the large double doors at the front of the room open. Giavacci enters, Pierre LeBeau and Alan Burgundy following behind him.

GIAVACCI

Here are the kids you've called for, Mr. Lear. Hey, where'd David go?

LEAR

Mr. Kent had to be on his way. Thanks for the help, Earl. Now we can see if anyone wants to date Cathy now that she's poor and alone.

CATHY

Daddy, no!

Lear approaches Burgundy and stares directly at him.

LEAR

Alan, my friend. You've had your eye on my former daughter a lot lately. Well, it seems young Cathy's value has just lowered tremendously. Everything she owns is everything you see her holding right now.

The crowd on the stairs moves away from Cathy, leaving her standing alone. Burgundy gives Cathy a glance.

BURGUNDY

I really don't know what to say, sir.

LEAR

Let's just make this question a little easier on you, then. Do you still want her?

BURGUNDY

Honestly, sir, I...I don't think I could answer you right now.

LEAR

Fine. Just remember that her clothes are now worth ten times she is. Now, Pierre, we're friends, right? I'd rather not lose that friendship by having you dating someone I despise. Let me try and find you another nice girl. I'm sure I can do it.

LEBEAU

This is all a little weird, Mr. Lear. I've known Cathy for a while now and I can't imagine her doing anything that would make you hate her. She's the kindest woman I've ever met.

Cathy comes forward and stands before her father. She doesn't make eye contact.

CATHY

Dad. I just want to say that I don't believe I did something to make you as

(MORE)

angry as this. I'm sorry that I couldn't swallow my pride. I don't want to lose you.

LEAR

I wish you were never born, Cathy!

Cathy begins to cry. LeBeau puts his arm around her to comfort her.

LEBEAU

So this entire ordeal is because of a little stupid pride? That's ridiculous. How can you hate her for that? Can you believe this, Alan?

BURGUNDY

I'd still take Cathy. As long as Lear gives me a little financial help if we marry.

LEAR

I will give nothing!

BURGUNDY

Then I don't believe I can see you anymore, Cathy. You've lost a wonderful father.

LEAR

Good man, Burgundy. You're quite smart. By the way, a new position has just opened up for president of Lear Enterprises. Are you interested?

Burgundy looks questionably at Cathy.

CATHY

You're a greedy loser, Alan! Go ahead and take the dirty job!

LEBEAU

Don't worry, Cathy. I don't believe you did anything like your father said you did.

LeBeau nudges Cathy's chin up to face him.

LEBEAU (CONT'D)

I don't care how much money you have. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I never really liked your father, anyway. You're worth far more than money. Why don't you say good-bye to everyone and let's get out of here.

Cathy smiles. Lear throws up his arms in disgust.

LEAR

Fine, Pierre. She's yours. Enjoy. Now get the hell out of here.

Lear angrily stomps off into one of the side rooms. Burgundy, Cornwall, and Albany follow him.

GIAVACCI

I think I missed a lot at that meeting.

Giavacci exits after Albany. Ganeane and Regen move to the side of Cathy.

CATHY

Ganeane. Regen. I'm not happy that dad kicked me out of his life. And, being your sister, I hope your deception and lies don't come out too soon. Just take care of dad. Make sure he has a place to stay. Good-bye.

REGEN

We'll do what we want with dad!

GANEANE

You worry about your new man. You've been a bitch and you got what you deserved.

LeBeau pulls Cathy away from her sisters.

LEBEAU

Let's get out of here.

LeBeau exits through the front doors with Cathy.

GANEANE

So...who has to suffer living with dad first?

REGEN

You. I'll take him next month.

GANEANE

I don't want the old bag.

REGEN

Well, you'll have to take him sometime. You can deal with his lack of self-control better than I can.

GANEANE

I guess so.

REGEN

Let's just hope he doesn't fire us, too.

GANEANE

We have to do something about him. If he tries to run the business at all, let's agree to disown him.

REGEN

Sounds good.

Ganeane and Regen fade to a black and white photograph. Classical music plays.

NARRATOR

And so Thomas Lear forgot his youngest daughter. Ganeane and Regen received every piece of the business. Lear is officially a washout. Sure everything seems nice and happy now, but Lear and his family underestimated Mr. Giavacci and his son Edmund.

EXT. GIAVACCI FAMILY ITALIAN RESTAURANT AND BAR - NIGHT - ESTABLISHING

There's a large neon sign outside the restaurant with the word 'Giavacci' on it. The restaurant is amongst a group of stores in small, brick buildings.

Giavacci walks up to the door and opens it.

CUT TO:

INT. GIAVACCI'S ITALIAN RESTAURANT

Giavacci enters the restaurant. There's a bar at one end and a few tables on the other. The tables are all occupied by mafia-type. If there was a convention for old, mean Italians, it would look something like this.

GIAVACCI

Hey! Glad to see the whole family together again. But where's Señor Muerte?

BARTENDER

He's out taking care of some hombre who came onto his chica.

Giavacci laughs and approaches a large table on his right. There are four men sitting around it.

GIAVACCI

Well, look who it is! Morbidly obese Tony! How the heck are ya?

A very round, 300-pound man, MORBIDLY OBESE TONY, shakes Giavacci's hand.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

It's goin' pretty well. No heart attacks this week.

GIAVACCI

Great! How you doin', Antonio?

Giavacci shakes hands with a small, well-dressed man, ANTONIO, across the table.

ANTONIO

Not bad at all, boss.

GIAVACCI

That a new suit?

ANTONIO

Got it from Jimmy the Snitch's apartment after he fell in that river.

GIAVACCI

Terrible accident.

Everyone laughs. Giavacci moves to the center of the room.

GIAVACCI (CONT'D)

Hey, have any of you guys seen Edmund?

BARTENDER

I think I saw him go into the back room. Must be takin' care of some paperwork or somethin'.

CUT TO:

INT. STORAGE ROOM OF GIAVACCI'S RESTAURANT

Edmund hunches over a desk, fervently writing some kind of letter. He's visibly angry.

EDMUND

Call me a bastard, will he. This should take care of those dirty wops.

Giavacci suddenly bursts into the room. Edmund quickly rises, crumpling the letter and hiding it behind himself.

GIAVACCI

Hey, bastard! You'll never believe what happened at the Lear place today...why are you hiding that piece of paper?

EDMUND

Uh...what piece of paper?

Edmund stuffs it in his pocket.

GIAVACCI

Okay, now I just saw you put it in your pocket. What are you hiding?

EDMUND

Okay. It's a letter Edgar handed me earlier today. I haven't finished reading it yet, but, from what I've read, I don't think you'd want to see it.

GIAVACCI

Give me the letter.

EDMUND

Fine.

Edmund takes the letter out of his pocket and hands it to Giavacci. Giavacci uncrumbles it and begins to read.

GIAVACCI

Dear Edmund, I'm really getting sick of having to take care of dad every day. He's getting a little old and I'm getting a little ready to take over the business. If you help me dispose of him, you're welcome to half of everything. Get back to me. Edgar.

(drops the letter)

My own son? Planning conspiracy? How could he do this to me? Are you sure Edgar wrote this?

EDMUND

Positive, dad. I wish it weren't true.

GIAVACCI

Has he talked to you about taking over the business before?

EDMUND

Not to my knowledge. I still don't believe it.

GIAVACCI

That punk! Do you know where he went?

EDMUND

I have no idea, but he sounds about ready to kill you. I'd watch my back.

GIAVACCI

How can he do this to his own father?

Giavacci explodes back into the restaurant with Edmund. All eyes turn to him.

GIAVACCI (CONT'D)

I want a hit put out on my son!

Everyone in the restaurant instantly pulls out a gun. They begin firing at Edmund, who bolts to the ground.

GIAVACCI (CONT'D)

My other son!

CUT TO:

INT. NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC LIBRARY

Edgar sits at a table. He seems to be the only one in the library. It's very quiet. Edgar reads a copy of Romeo & Juliet.

EDGAR

Mama mia! This Shakespeare guy sure is overrated. Nobody talks like that. And to top it off, it doesn't make any sense. If these two scenes are supposed to be happening at the same time, how the heck is Romeo in both of them?

Edmund sits down next to his brother.

EDMUND

Evening, bro.

EDGAR

What's up?

EDMUND

Um...I have some bad news, bro. When was the last time you saw dad?

EDGAR

Last night. We talked for about an hour.

EDMUND

So, he didn't leave angry or anything? He wasn't mad at you?

EDGAR

Not that I know of.

EDMUND

You can't think of anything you said that might have offended him? Cause he's awfully angry about something you did. He wouldn't say what, though.

EDGAR

I didn't do anything to make him mad.

EDMUND

Well, he's thirsty for blood, so I'd recommend that you avoid him for a little while. In fact, avoid the mob altogether.

Edmund hears the library door creak open.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

In fact, why don't you get out of here.

Edmund hands Edgar a key.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

This is the key to my apartment. You should stay there for a bit. Until this whole thing calms down.

EDGAR

Uh...thank you.

EDMUND

I told you everything I know. Now get out of here.

A BULLET ricochets off the table. Three mobsters are running towards the brothers. Edgar rises and begins to run away.

EDGAR

When will I hear from you again?

EDMUND

I'll take care of it!

Edgar dashes out the back door of the library. The three mobsters stop in front of Edmund.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Sorry, guys. He got away. I almost had him, too.

The mobsters sigh and leave. Edmund smiles.

CUT TO:

EXT. LEAR'S DOUBLE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

The tall double stands directly in the center of the city. It appears very roomy. A few people walk by.

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM IN LEAR'S DOUBLE

Ganeane and Oswald Benini furiously make out. Oswald's shirt ends up being flung on the ground. Ganeane hops onto the large bed. Oswald pretends to be a bull and begins charging towards Ganeane. He hops on the bed next to her. Ganeane laughs.

Suddenly, they hear approaching footsteps. They quickly stop.

OSWALD

I think your husband's coming, ma'am.

GANEANE

Don't be ridiculous. He's at work.

OSWALD

Then it must be your dad. Let's get back to business, then.

Oswald hops onto Ganeane. She throws him off.

GANEANE

We can't do it now. You just had to mention dad. Now I can't get his saggy mug out of my head.

Ganeane stands, goes to a window, and looks out.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

I'm so sick of that man. He's only been here a couple hours and, already, he's a total pain. He keeps butting into my business. I can't get anything done when he's around. I don't want to put up with it anymore!

There's a knock at the door.

LEAR (O.S.)

Ganeane? Are you in there?

GANEANE

(whispering)

Tell him I'm sick.

OSWALD

Um...she's very ill, Mr. Lear. She's just come down with a terrible case of...

Oswald panicky turns to Ganeane. She signals for him to continue.

OSWALD (CONT'D)

...A terrible case of...herpes.

Ganeane sighs, shaking her head.

LEAR (O.S.)

Oh...I'll try back later then.

The sound of footsteps slowly softens.

GANEANE

Herpes!

OSWALD

I'm sorry. I panicked!

GANEANE

Wait a minute! I have an idea.

OSWALD

Wait a month and then let him be Regen's problem?

GANEANE

No! Let's make life for him here a living hell! We'll make him want to leave. Then he'll go to Regen's. And to top it off, I'll call Regen right now and tell her to do the same thing when dad gets to her place! The fool will have nowhere to go!

OSWALD

Wow, you're a bitch.

GANEANE

I know.

CUT TO:

INT. LEAR'S BEDROOM IN THE DOUBLE

Lear sits on his bed, taking off his shoes. He lays back.

There's a large WINDOW behind the bed. David Kent has his arms outstretched, pressed against the glass. He's looking in on Lear, who is completely unaware and can't hear Kent.

KENT

I wish I didn't care for you like I do, old man. But I know your daughters are up to something. They're deceptive liars and I plan to prove it.

The door to Lear's bedroom slowly opens. Kent notices and panics. He lets go of the window, screams, and plummets a story from the house. He lands in a bush.

Oswald enters the bedroom.

OSWALD

Can I get you anything, Mr. Lear?

LEAR

You can get me my dinner!

OSWALD

Hmm...no. I don't think I'll be doing that. Good day.

Oswald exits, slamming the door.

Lear lies back and closes his eyes. A shadowy image of a clown appears. It slowly solidifies as a figment of Lear's imagination. The clown is BUBBLES. He approaches Lear's bed.

BUBBLES

You sure are treated rudely here, sir.

Lear opens his eyes and sits up. He treats the clown as a friend.

LEAR

Oh, hello Bubbles. I didn't see you come in.

BUBBLES

It seems to me that there's a general unfriendliness about this place. You're not getting the respect you deserve.

LEAR

You think so?

BUBBLES

I just find it very wrong of them.

LEAR

I think I agree, Bubbles. So...how have you been?

BUBBLES

I've been a little troubled since you alienated your daughters, sir. It looks like you've not only lost Cathy, but Ganeane seems to be getting sick of you, too. Perhaps you should go back to Regen.

LEAR

I don't want your opinion of my life!

Lear angrily heaves a pillow at Bubbles. It passes through the clown effigy.

BUBBLES

The truth hurts sometimes. Here's some advice: have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest, lend less that thou owest, ride more than thou goest, leave thy drink and thy whore, and keep in-a-door, and thou shalt have more.

LEAR

That doesn't make sense at all, Bubbles. You're giving me nothing.

BUBBLES

Sometimes nothing comes from nothing.

LEAR

Why should I believe a dirty clown?

BUBBLES

Sir, I believe you are the dirty clown. I wasn't the one who gave away everything I own without thinking of the consequences.

Ganeane knocks and enters the room. She doesn't see Bubbles at all.

BUBBLES (CONT'D)

Your daughter doesn't look happy.

Bubbles dissolves away.

LEAR

Fine, you bastard! Leave! I don't need you!

Ganeane looks around in wonder.

GANEANE

Was that the clown again, dad?

LEAR

Bubbles.

GANEANE

Right...well...I just wanted to tell you that as long as you are staying here, I'm not going to feed or care for you. You can care for yourself. You're too moody and, personally, I'm sick of you.

Lear angrily rises.

LEAR

Oh, I'm sorry, Ganeane. I thought you were my daughter!

GANEANE

Please understand me, you old bat! You can only stay here if you can control yourself! I won't tolerate you acting the way you did at that meeting!

Ganeane marches from the bedroom. Lear quickly follows her into the hallway.

LEAR

Go to hell, Ganeane! I don't need you, you bastard! I still have one daughter left!

Lear pursues Ganeane to the stairway, where Albany is coming upstairs. Ganeane greets him with a kiss on the cheek.

GANEANE

Honey! Glad to see you're home.

Lear gets in Albany's FACE.

LEAR

Well, look who it is! The bastard's husband! You get your butt downstairs and start up your car! I'm going to Regen's!

ALBANY

Mr. Lear, control yourself!

Lear tries to stare down Ganeane.

LEAR

You filthy liar! You said you loved me! And I thought Cathy was a terrible daughter!

Lear spits in Ganeane's face. Albany, in a fit of rage, grabs Lear and pushes him towards the stairs.

ALBANY

Get out of my house!

LEAR

Fine! I just hope you assholes don't have children! Your kid would be such a brat! Wait! I hope you have a child! Then you can feel the pain that I feel! And I hope pregnancy leaves you fat and wrinkled! Both of you!

Lear stomps down the stairs.

ALBANY

What was that all about?

GANEANE

You don't want to know. He's just getting old. Too bad Cornwall's got the mob watching his back. Else I would...

ALBANY

You don't have to worry about him anymore, honey.

GANEANE

Oh, I'll get revenge on him. I already called Regen. She knows what to do.

Oswald passes by. He turns red when he sees Albany. Albany smiles at him and he exits.

ALBANY

That servant of yours is such a nice man. I'm glad we have him.

GANEANE

Yeah...anyway, I wish I could go to Regen's right now. I'd like to see how this plays out.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE LEAR'S DOUBLE - NIGHT

Lear mopes down the sidewalk. He hides his face from everyone who passes. His hands are in his pockets. As he walks, Bubbles the clown slowly forms next to him.

BUBBLES

Cheer up, old boy. She was worthless anyway.

LEAR

But...

BUBBLES

Oh, you'll see that Regen will treat you right. She's not as crabby as her sister.

LEAR

How do you know?

BUBBLES

I may look like a clown, but I'm as smart as an ox.

LEAR

I shouldn't have said what I did to Cathy.

A pedestrian passes through Bubbles.

BUBBLES

Do you know why a snail carries his house on his back?

LEAR

No. Why?

BUBBLES

To make sure he has a place to stay. Not to give away to his daughters and leave himself alone and exposed.

LEAR

It's only cause I'm old...

BUBBLES

Maybe you should've acquired some sense before you got old.

LEAR

Don't start, Bubbles!

BUBBLES

Well, then...I hope you can do this on your own.

Bubbles disappears. Lear stops. Pedestrians bump into him and pass by. Lear just stands and stares.

The scene fades to another black and white photo. Sad music plays.

NARRATOR

Poor Mr. Lear. His anger seems to have left him with no one in the world to turn to, except his second daughter. As he continues to face life by himself, Edmund is continuing to grab life by the horns.

CUT TO:

INT. EDMUND'S APARTMENT

The small apartment is a total mess. Clothing lies all over the floor. It's a typical bachelor pad setting.

The door to the apartment opens and Edmund enters. He moves to an end table where his telephone sits. A light on it is blinking. He presses it.

ANSWERING MACHINE

You have one message.

CORNWALL (VOICE ON ANSWERING MACHINE)

Hello? Edmund? It's Vito. Me and Regen are gonna be coming over later tonight. We have some important news to discuss with you. We figure you could help us out with a little...problem. Thanks.

Edmund shrugs. He glances out his living room window. GIAVACCI enters the apartment building. Edmund smirks and turns towards his apartment bathroom.

EDMUND

Edgar! Edgar! Get out here quick! Dad's coming!

Edgar runs out from the bathroom. He's wet and has a towel around him. The shower is audibly still running. He's also out of breath.

EDGAR

What?!

EDMUND

Dad's on his way up here. You gotta get out. I think he knows you're here. Luckily, it's pretty dark. He probably won't see you leaving.

There's a knock at the door. Edmund runs to a nearby drawer and pulls out a HANDGUN. He points it at the ceiling.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

That must be dad. Just play along.

Edmund fires two shots into the air.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Surrender, you villain! This is for my father!

GIAVACCI (O.S.)

Is Edgar in there?!

Giavacci begins pulling at Edmund's door, trying to break it open.

EDMUND

Die!

(whispering)

Go out through my bedroom. The fire escape's there.

(loudly)

You can't escape me, Edgar!

EDGAR

(whispering)

Thanks, bro.

Edgar runs towards Edmund's bedroom. He opens the window there and climbs out onto the fire escape. He begins down the catwalk. Edmund glances around.

EDMUND

Help! Help!

Edmund heads into his kitchen and finds a knife. He slices his arm.

EDMUND (cont'd)

Ouch!

Giavacci bursts through Edmund's door. Edmund meets him in the living room. Giavacci has his gun outstretched.

GIAVACCI

Where's the traitor?

Edmund pretends to be out of breath.

EDMUND

It was terrible, dad. He broke into my apartment and hid in the dark. He tried to kill me when I came in. I was able to contain him and pulled my gun.

GIAVACCI

Where'd he go?

EDMUND

He stabbed me in the arm before escaping. Look, I'm bleeding!

GIAVACCI

Where did Edgar go?!

EDMUND

He...he ran out to the fire escape.

Giavacci runs into Edmund's bedroom. He flings the window open and peers out. Edgar is nowhere in sight.

GIAVACCI

Damn! Missed him.

EDMUND

After he stabbed me...he, um, tried to persuade me to join him in killing you. I told him I couldn't and how important the bond between a father and his son is. He tried to stab me again after I refused. Luckily, I was able to grab for my gun. That's when he ran off. It was horrible.

GIAVACCI

Don't worry. He has nowhere to go. Every Italian in New York has his eye out for him. Once they find him, they kill him. I put out a rather large reward for his demise. I can't risk him coming back and killing me.

Edmund and Giavacci return to the living room.

EDMUND

I...I tried to get him to forget about his plan to kill you. I told him I'd reveal his evil plans to everybody.

GIAVACCI

That boy can't be my son. I'll personally assure his death. I'll even have the Jersey mafia looking out for him. Thanks for all your support, Edmund. Or should I say heir to the Giavacci family business.

Giavacci pats Edmund on the back. Cornwall and Regen enter the apartment through the hole where the door used to be.

CORNWALL

Looks like we missed something.

GIAVACCI

Edgar broke in here and tried to kill my son. Even then, my brave Edmund stood up for his dear old dad. I love this boy.

REGEN

Well, I'm glad you're doing alright, Earl.

GIAVACCI

Edgar broke my heart.

REGEN

Didn't Edgar work for dad for a little while? Before he started therapy?

GIAVACCI

I can't even think about the paranoid ass.

Edmund makes EYE CONTACT with Regen. They share a moment.

EDMUND

Yes, my dear, I believe Edgar did work for your father.

REGEN

Then no wonder he's like this. I bet dad had something to do with planning Earl's death, so he can get more money to waste. I can't stand that man. Ganeane called earlier and told us that he's coming over sometime tonight. She told me to make sure I wasn't home when he came.

CORNWALL

Well, Edmund, I'm very proud of how you defended your father's honor, like he said.

EDMUND

Just doing my duty as a son.

GIAVACCI

Don't be so modest. This boy revealed the terrible plot to begin with.

CORNWALL

Is there a hit out for Edgar yet?

GIAVACCI

Of course.

CORNWALL

As for you, Edmund, someone as brave as you deserves a nice, comfortable job. I think we could find an opening at Lear Enterprises for you.

EDMUND

Thank you, Mr. Cornwall.

REGEN

I bet you're wondering why we're here. Well, we were hoping Mr. Giavacci himself would be here. And since you are, Earl, my husband and I need a little advice in dealing with dad. Can we discuss it with you at the restaurant?

GIAVACCI

Whatever you need.

CUT TO:

EXT. BACK ALLEY OF GIAVACCI'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Oswald walks past a dumpster and heads towards the back door. He seems tired.

OSWALD

I wish Ganeane would ask her own friends for some take-out.

KENT steps out from behind the dumpster.

KENT

Good evening, Mr. Benini

OSWALD

How do you know my name?

KENT

I used to work for your lover's father. I've been keeping an eye out for him. I'm feeling a little uneasy about some of the things you're doing with his daughter. I don't want Mr. Lear's life to be more complex than it already is.

OSWALD

You're a loyal guy.

KENT

And you're a bloody, dirty rat! You're worse than a pimp! I can't stand adulterers like you! You son of a bitch!

OSWALD

I don't even know your name! How can you say things like that to me?!

Kent pulls out a gun, pointing it at Oswald.

KENT

You're a phony!

OSWALD

Please go away. I...I really don't want anything to do with a lowlife like you.

Kent slowly approaches Oswald.

KENT

Are you scared?

Oswald backs up as Kent moves forward. He's eventually cornered at a fence.

KENT (CONT'D)

Don't you carry a gun, too? This is New York City. You should know better. I can't really make this a fair fight if you're unarmed.

Kent slugs Oswald in the stomach. Oswald coughs violently.

OSWALD

Help!

Edmund flings the back door of the restaurant open. He has his gun drawn.

EDMUND

Hey! What's going on here? Break it up!

Kent cringes and pushes Oswald against the fence.

KENT

I'll deal with you later.

Kent turns his gun towards Edmund.

KENT (CONT'D)

Do you want a piece of me, too?

Giavacci, Cornwall, and Regen enter the alley from the back door.

GIAVACCI

Stop it! Put down the guns!

Regen notices Oswald curled up in the corner. She runs over to him and helps him up.

REGEN

It's Ganeane's servant!

CORNWALL

(to Oswald)

Why were you curled up on the ground?

OSWALD

I...I...I'm having trouble...catching my breath.

KENT

That man's a coward!

OSWALD

This...asshole pulled a gun on me.

KENT

I was just trying to take out the trash. This guys a deceptive little piece of crap!

CORNWALL

Shut up, both of you! Wait a minute! Is that you, Mr. Kent?

Regen and Giavacci get closer to Kent.

REGEN

Oh, my God! It's him!

CORNWALL

Mr. Kent! You're more respectful than to be pulling guns on servants in back alleys!

KENT

I'm sorry. I was a tad angry.

CORNWALL

What made you so mad?

KENT

I can't stand a liar! People like this man deserve to be disposed of. Damn him!

GIAVACCI

That made you pull a gun on him?

KENT

I overreact sometimes.

CORNWALL

Well, what did he do that made you so mad?

KENT

I...I...

Kent notices Regen. He briefly struggles internally with the truth.

KENT (CONT'D)

Um...He's ugly!

CORNWALL

I can't believe you're acting like this, Mr. Kent. You've changed a lot since Mr. Lear fired you.

KENT

It's not that! This man is tricking everyone he knows.

CORNWALL

Servant guy. What did you do to Mr. Kent?

OSWALD

I...I didn't do anything. I don't know what he's talking about. He just came into the alley, pulled a gun, and roughed me up. He's a murderous freak!

KENT

Chicken!

CORNWALL

Mr. Kent! I think we need to do something about you. Regen, get me some rope.

Regen ducks back into the restaurant.

CORNWALL (CONT'D)

We'll teach you!

KENT

I'm fifty-two years old. I've learned just about everything I can in life.

Regen comes back out, bearing a large rope. Cornwall approaches Kent, grabs him, and begins to tie up his hands.

CORNWALL

Let's see if you can learn your lesson after we lock you up inside a dumpster for a night.

REGEN

Just a night?

KENT

Regen! You're just doing this to spite your dad.

REGEN

So.

CORNWALL

Servant guy. Open up the dumpster.

Oswald opens the lid to the dumpster.

GIAVACCI

Vito. Don't overreact to a stupid prick like this guy. Send him back to Thomas. The nagging alone would be punishment enough. Your punishment's a little disturbing...and I've sent people their own feet in paper bags. And I don't think Mr. Lear would like it too much.

CORNWALL

Who cares about Mr. Lear?! He's a nobody. He fired Kent anyway.

GIAVACCI

Let him go, Vito.

CORNWALL

I don't work for you anymore, Earl. Remember? I'm out of the family. I don't have to listen to you.

REGEN

Besides, Ganeane's the one we should be worried about. The poor girl's going to be devastated when she sees what Mr. Kent did to her servant.

Cornwall and Oswald gag Kent and lift him. Kent kicks and struggles, but is thrown into the dumpster. The lid is shut. Cornwall grabs a nearby lock and closes it on the dumpster.

CORNWALL

Let's just go back inside.

Cornwall, Regen, and Oswald go back into the restaurant. Giavacci sadly moves next to the dumpster. He knocks on the side of it.

GIAVACCI

Sorry, Kent. I don't have a key to this lock. Cornwall has a pretty bad temper, but I'm sure he'll let you out in the morning. I'll make it a personal favor to me.

Giavacci exits back into the restaurant. He shuts the door.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK -NIGHT

The park is covered in darkness. It's virtually stranded. Owls hoot and other nighttime sounds are heard. There's a lone bench in the center of the park. Edgar peeks out from behind it. He's still wearing a towel.

EDGAR

I have to hide. The entire mafia's after me. If only I could find some kind of disguise.

Edgar sees a costume shop across the street from the park. He slowly tiptoes across the park, hiding behind every tree he can find. He scampers across the street and moves to the side of the costume shop.

He finds a garbage can next to the store. He rummages through it and finds a diaper and several rags. He drops his towel and puts the diaper on.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Maybe if I pretend to be a beggar, they won't be able to find me. You can't throw a rock in New York without hitting a hobo.

Edgar adorns the rags.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

I just need to act like one of the usual lunatics around town.

Edgar puts his hand out, trembling.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Alms for the poor! Alms for the poor!

He is pleased.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Perfect!

The sun slowly begins to rise over the park.

FADE TO:

EXT. BACK ALLEY OF GIAVACCI'S RESTAURANT - MORNING

Lear wanders past the dumpster, towards the back door. Bubbles is close behind.

LEAR

I can't believe no one answered the door last night at Regen's. It's strange that everyone would leave without telling me. I'm not really accustomed to sleeping on benches.

Loud kicking noises come from the DUMPSTER. Kent's muffled voice screams.

LEAR (CONT'D)

What the heck was that?

Lear approaches the dumpster. He notices the lock.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Good thing picking locks was one of the things I picked up in my prime.

Lear takes a small PICK out of his pocket. He gets the lock open and pulls up the dumpster lid. Kent is bound and gagged inside.

LEAR (CONT'D)

David?

Kent spits out his gag.

KENT

Help me, Mr. Lear.

LEAR

Why should I help you?

BUBBLES

Perhaps it's time you forgave Mr. Kent. It doesn't seem you have anyone else to turn to.

LEAR

Who did this to you, David?

KENT

Quite a few people actually. Regen, her husband, and Ganeane's servant.

LEAR

What? No.

KENT

Yes, sir.

LEAR

They wouldn't do that to you. They're not cruel like Ganeane and her husband.

KENT

I swear it was them.

LEAR

I...I can't believe you. They would never do something like this. This is despicable. But how did they get you in here?

KENT

Help me out first.

Lear helps Kent out of the dumpster and unties the ropes around Kent's hands.

KENT (CONT'D)

Thank you, sir. Well, I've been somewhat keeping an eye out for you, sir, since I was fired. I was spying at Ganeane's and I saw her and her servant, I believe his name is Oswald, going at it. I found this hugely wrong and, since I also thought Ganeane wasn't totally evil, I assumed Oswald

(MORE)

was the protagonist. I followed the servant to this alley and threatened to kill him. I was hoping he'd be too scared to continue his affair with Ganeane after this. He screamed. Cornwall and Regen came running out. They tied me up and threw me in the dumpster. And...well...you know the rest of the story.

BUBBLES

It seems you've also misjudged your second daughter, sir.

LEAR

Where did Regen go?

KENT

I'm guessing she's home by now.

LEAR

I should have a talking with her.

Lear furiously knocks on the back door of the restaurant. Giavacci opens it and peers outside.

GIAVACCI

Mr. Lear! I see you freed Mr. Kent. Come on in.

Kent and Lear enter the restaurant storage room with Giavacci.

LEAR

May I use your phone?

GIAVACCI

Certainly.

Giavacci points to a TELEPHONE in the corner of the room. Lear picks it up and dials.

LEAR

Hello? Is my daughter Regen available?...What? Refuses to speak to me?...Is she sick or something?...Fine!

Lear slams down the phone.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Some excuse! I need to talk to my daughter and her filthy husband right now!

GIAVACCI

Would you like me to drive you over there?

LEAR

Please!

Lear grabs at his chest in pain. He falls onto his knees.

KENT

Are you alright, sir?

LEAR

Yeah...I suppose so. I have some heart problems. Oh, and thank you for your help, Mr. Kent. I won't forget it.

Giavacci and Lear exit towards the front of the restaurant.

KENT

Good-bye, sir!

Kent stealthily looks around. He sneaks out the back door.

CUT TO:

INT. ENTRANCE HALL OF LEAR'S MANSION

Lear opens the front door and enters with Giavacci. Kent looks in from one of the windows. The main room is as decorated as usual.

LEAR

Good morning!

Regen and Cornwall rush down the stairs. They frown at Lear and Giavacci.

REGEN

Oh...dad. I'm...so glad to see you.

GIAVACCI

Hi.

Lear breaks into tears. He falls on his knees and grabs Regen's leg.

LEAR

Oh, Regen! Your sister's evil! She's a deceptive monster who stabbed me in the heart! You won't believe what she did to me!

GIAVACCI

Uh...sir, I thought this was about Mr. Kent.

LEAR

I'll deal with that later. Oh, Regen!

Regen shakes Lear off of her leg. He stays on his knees.

REGEN

Get a hold of yourself, dad. You're acting ridiculous. I'm sure Ganeane did nothing of the sort.

LEAR

What?

REGEN

I can't imagine Ganeane doing anything evil. She's a good-hearted woman, like me. You're getting old, dad. I'm sure you made it all up in your head. Why don't you go back to Ganeane's and beg her to let you back in.

Lear angrily rises.

LEAR

Beg her for forgiveness?! After the way she treated me? After she called me an old bat?

REGEN

You are an old bat. Now go back to Ganeane's. You're not staying here for another month.

LEAR

I won't go back to her! She robbed me of everything I gave her! She lied about loving me! I wish she was dead!

CORNWALL

Calm down.

Outside, Kent is still peering in through the window. He hears a car pulling up. Kent notices Oswald driving it. Kent quickly dashes to the side of the mansion and jumps into a bush. It's filled with THORNS.

REGEN

You're acting rash again, dad.

LEAR

No, I'm not! I came to you because, even after what you did to Mr. Kent at the restaurant, I still believe you're good-hearted. You could never be harsh like Ganeane! You know your duty as a daughter. That's why I gave you more of the business!

REGEN

Get to the point, dad.

LEAR

I was just wondering if it was true that you and Cornwall tied up Kent and...

There's a knock at the door. Cornwall opens it. Oswald enters.

REGEN

Oh, hello, Oswald. Did Ganeane come with?

Lear gets in Oswald's face.

LEAR

You! You're that servant Mr. Kent was telling me about! Home wrecker!

OSWALD

Sir, I have no clue what you're talking about. Who's Mr. Kent?

Ganeane enters. Lear irately turns his attention to her.

LEAR

Well look who it is. The traitor! The ungrateful bitch!

Ganeane ignores Lear and hugs Regen.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Don't touch her, Regen! She'll get evil on you!

GANEANE

Dad! I didn't do anything wrong. I just told you what it would be like if you stayed with me and you chose to leave!

LEAR

Liar! I bet you were the beast who shoved Kent in the dumpster!

CORNWALL

That was me, actually. I should've done worse.

LEAR

You! I knew it!

Cornwall rolls his eyes and exits into a neighboring room.

REGEN

Dad, please go home with Ganeane. You only have to stay with her for a month. You can come live with me for a little while afterwards. Besides, I'm busy right now working out some of our figures for this year with Mr. Burgundy. I can't take care of you.

LEAR

I will not return to Ganeane! If neither of you will have me, I'll just have to fend for myself! I'd rather live with the hobos than stay with either of you!

GANEANE

Dad...please.

LEAR

Don't get me started again, Ganeane! You two have always been warts on my skin! You're terrible daughters! Forcing an old man to live on the street! I hope I never see either of you again!

GIAVACCI

Sir, your heart.

Lear instantly calms down. He begins crying again.

LEAR

On second thought, I need someone to wait on me hand and foot. I'll just stay here with Regen.

REGEN

No...you won't. I'm not...prepared for you yet. You're very old...but I know Ganeane knows what's best for you. Besides, you got the mob watching your back. You'll be okay no matter where you are.

LEAR

I gave you everything!

REGEN

After seventy goddamn years!

LEAR

Fine, Regen! I...I guess I'll just have to go back and live with Ganeane!

GANEANE

I...I honestly don't want you, dad.

LEAR

You hags! You turn your eyes on your own flesh and blood! I refuse to stay with any of you!

There's a loud CRASH of thunder outside.

LEAR (CONT'D)

I'm getting out of here! Come on, Earl!

Lear storms out of the mansion. Giavacci sighs and exits after him. Cornwall runs back into the main room.

CORNWALL

I was just watching the news. There's supposed to be a huge storm covering all of Manhattan. Hundred mile-per-hour winds. They said everybody should stay indoors.

Ganeane and Regen are ignoring Cornwall. They're staring at the doors.

GANEANE

Don't worry about him, Regen. It's his own fault. He brought this on himself.

REGEN

I'm not worried about him. I was just curious why that lackey Giavacci still follows him.

Giavacci reenters the mansion.

REGEN (CONT'D)

I stand corrected.

GIAVACCI

Mr. Lear is out of control! He's punching everything he sees! He just ran down the street, screaming.

CORNWALL

Where's he heading?

GIAVACCI

I have no idea.

GANEANE

Could you go find him, Earl? At least get him inside.

GIAVACCI

The sky is incredibly overcast. I'm a little afraid to even go out.

REGEN

I'm sure dad will be fine.

CORNWALL

Well, let's all prepare for some wild weather.

Everybody and the room turn into a black and white photograph.

NARRATOR

Mr. Lear. Left without anybody in the world.

FADE TO:

The sky is black. There's lightning in the distance.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)

Left out in the cold as the worst storm in New York history begins. Meanwhile, David Kent continues to attempt to protect his former boss.

CUT TO:

EXT. SIDEWALK IN TIMES SQUARE

The winds on the street are blowing hard enough to tilt light posts. Remnants of trees, cars, and livestock heave through the air. There's a torrential downpour across the city. Every few seconds a bolt of LIGHTNING rips the sky.

Kent has his HAND outstretched as he slowly moves against the wind down the sidewalk. He's still in his business suit, but is soaking wet. He has trouble looking forward. He hears something like coughing.

KENT

Hello? Is someone there?

A well-dressed man enters from a patch of fog. He's a gentleman named JACK. Both men scream to each other in order to be heard.

JACK

I'm sorry? I can't see you. Who's talking?

KENT

My name's David Kent. I'm looking for a friend.

JACK

Are you Mr. Lear's Kent?

KENT

Yes, actually. Do I know you?

The wind calms momentarily so the men can see each other.

KENT (CONT'D)

You're Jack, right? Miss Cathy's friend?

JACK

That's me.

KENT

Well, have you seen Mr. Lear? He's out here wandering by himself.

JACK

I was buying my wife some Tylenol at the drug store and I did see some crazy guy plowing through the storm. He was very upset and screaming obscenities. He kept yelling at the wind and stuff

(MORE)

like that! He had his arms flailing through the air. I just thought he was some hobo.

KENT

Was anyone with him?

JACK

Not that I recall.

KENT

That must be Mr. Lear. Hobos travel in packs. Thank you for the help, Jack. By the way, avoid the entire Lear family. There's some bad stuff going down.

JACK

What is it?

KENT

I don't really have time to explain it all to you. Just...next time you see Cathy, tell her that her father is out in the cold alone. He needs her help!

The wind starts up again. Kent and Jack press themselves against a nearby store to avoid being blown away.

KENT (CONT'D)

Damn this storm! I have to find Mr. Lear. He'll die out here!

JACK

I'm going to go straight to Cathy, then!

KENT

You have my eternal gratitude! If you stumble upon Lear before I do, holler. I probably won't hear you, but there's always a chance.

Kent and Jack shake hands. They return into the storm, furrowing in opposite directions.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL PARK

The trees in the park are almost at forty-five degree angles. The majority of the benches are overturned. Lear huddles on the grass, hands over his head. He seems to be crying. Bubbles kneels next to him.

LEAR

Stop it. Stop it! Stop it! This storm's destroying everything except me! Why can't some lightning strike me down already?! I want to die!

BUBBLES

Let's head back, sir. Considering the weather, I'm sure one of your daughters will take you in.

LEAR

I don't want to take them back!

BUBBLES

We shouldn't be out here in this storm.

LEAR

Why the hell do you care?!

Lear gets out of his kneeled position. He tries to punch Bubbles, but his hand moves right through the clown.

LEAR (CONT'D)

You're not even real! You're just like my daughters: fake! I'd rather die from this storm than die from a heart attack they give me! I'm a poor victim! I did nothing wrong and everything wrong happened to me! I hate this!

BUBBLES

At least when the snail has his house with him, he's got a place to keep his brains.

Kent enters the park. He begins towards Lear, who appears to be yelling at nothing.

LEAR

Go away! Go away! Go away!

Bubbles vanishes from Lear's sight. Kent screams from a distance.

KENT

Who's there? Mr. Lear?

Lear slowly rises.

LEAR

Kent? Kent! You came to rescue me!

Lear rushes over to Kent and throws his arms around his waist.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've sinned against everything I stand for! I'm a horrible person, but you still found me!

KENT

Let's not worry about that now! We need to find shelter! I think I saw a port-a-potty by the park entrance! We might be able to dry off a little bit there!

Lear puts his arm on Kent's shoulder. Lear shivers and can barely speak. It sounds like he doesn't even know what he's saying.

LEAR

Are you cold, Mr. Kent? I'm very cold. And I think my mind is going. I'm having trouble thinking straight. You know what? Let's go find that potty of yours!

Kent and Lear slowly plunge across the park.

CUT TO:

INT. GIAVACCI'S ITALIAN RESTAURANT

The restaurant is empty, except for Edmund, who sits at the bar, having a drink. The storm is very audible from within the restaurant, but Edmund seems to be ignoring it.

Instantly, Giavacci plows through the front door. He's wearing a raincoat, but is absolutely soaked. He's carrying an umbrella that's turned inside out. Edmund rises when he enters.

GIAVACCI

Edmund!

EDMUND

I figured you'd be stuck at Regen's place during the storm. All the guys went home hours ago. Just in time, too.

GIAVACCI

Oh, god! I couldn't stay at that place! It's too unnatural! Everyone in that family is completely messed up. And I'm a mob boss! In fact, after they kicked poor Mr. Lear out of their house, I realized...that I've been going about this all-wrong.

Giavacci sits down at a table, exhausted. Edmund sits across from him.

GIAVACCI (CONT'D)

Cornwall and Regen are the bad guys! Lear's the good guy! I'm not exactly a good guy, but I tried to at least persuade Ganeane and Oswald to look for Mr. Lear with me. He's out there alone in this storm!

EDMUND

(sarcastically)

That's horrible!

GIAVACCI

And to top it off...I think Ganeane and Regen are trying to kill their father.

(MORE)

They don't want to deal with him anymore! We gotta help Mr. Lear get revenge. This has gone on long enough. It's not funny anymore! I'm going to go look for the old man. I was hoping you could go convince Cornwall that his wife's a mad woman! He wouldn't listen to me! You guys seem to be pretty good friends.

Giavacci coughs and stands up. He opens the front door.

GIAVACCI (CONT'D)

Strange things are happening in this city, my boy. Be careful.

Giavacci exits into the storm, shutting the door behind himself. Edmund SMILES, devilishly.

EDMUND

I guess Lear's not the only one getting old, dad. I don't think someone like you should be running the family business anymore.

Edmund grabs a jacket from the bar and puts it on. He leaves.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE THE PORT-A-POTTY AT CENTRAL PARK

Lear and Kent huddle next to the port-a-potty. It's shaking from the wind.

KENT

Here it is! You go in first!

A wet tree branch flies past Kent's eyes.

LEAR

No way! You go first! You're the one who saved me!

KENT

Go in!

LEAR

You're breakin' my heart, Kent!

KENT

Go in, you stubborn old nag!

LEAR

I can bear this storm! I've suffered through a lot worse than this! At least trying to survive in the storm is helping forget the ingratitude of my own family! They shut me out on a night like this! I can take it!

Lear breathes heavily. He looks at Kent, strangely.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Ganeane? Is that you?

Kent looks around.

KENT

Sir, I believe you're mistaken. You must be seeing things...

LEAR

I knew you'd come find me! After all I gave to you, I knew you couldn't be so shallow as to leave me out here to die!

KENT

Please go inside, Mr. Lear!

Lear shakes the image of his daughter out of his head. He angrily reprimands Kent.

LEAR

I said, you go in! A shitty little port-a-potty isn't going to protect me from this hell!

Slowly, the port-a-potty door opens. Lear and Kent stand back in shock. A HAND reaches out from inside.

EDGAR (O.S.)

Alms for the poor! Alms for the poor!

KENT

Who's there?!

Edgar comes out of the port-a-potty. He's still in his diaper and rags.

KENT (CONT'D)

Holy crap!

LEAR

That looks like Giavacci's son!

KENT

Yeah, but Giavacci's son isn't a hobo, crazy, or...

Kent notices the DIAPER.

KENT (CONT'D)

...Incontinent.

LEAR

Then it can't be him.

Edgar starts dancing ferociously around Kent and Lear. Everything he says sounds more and more demented.

EDGAR

Get out of here! The wind and cold are too much! Go home to your nice, warm beds!

LEAR

I would, but my damn daughters stole mine from me!

EDGAR

I'm sure you have more than I do! I live in a port-a-potty for God's sake!

Edgar skips through the park, almost unaware of the storm. Kent and Lear quickly follow him in wonder.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

If only you guys knew what I've been through! The devil's been chasing me

(MORE)

for days now! The bastard likes to wear pink, you know. I've seen death, destruction, disease, and other terrible things not beginning with 'D'.

Edgar stops in his tracks. So do Kent and Lear.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

I'm cold.

Edgar shivers and tries to warm himself with his arms.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

La la la la! Singing will keep me warm! La la la la!

Edgar moves his head as if something has just run past him.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Ahh! The Hamburgler! He has my pants! If I run now, perhaps I can catch him! Tally ho!

Edgar dashes away. Kent shrugs.

LEAR

Maybe that guy's daughters made him crazy. I like how that guy thinks, though. I should follow his lead. He knows how to deal with unruly children! Unruly traitors! Unruly bastards!

Edgar skips up behind Lear and Kent.

EDGAR

Poop!

Kent and Lear scream from shock and turn to Edgar. Edgar leaps between them and gets on all fours.

EDGAR

Howl! Howl!

KENT

Please. If you're going to howl, at least go ooooooh or something. Don't just say 'howl'.

Edgar jumps up and points at Kent.

EDGAR

Beware of the devil and his Hamburgler! Honor thy father and they mother! Quit swearing, dammit! Don't commit adultery! Thou shalt not covet!

Edgar falls onto his back.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

I'm cold.

LEAR

Excuse me, kind hobo. I was just curious as to what you were before you became like this. Was it a family issue?

Edgar does a kip-up and throws off his RAGS.

EDGAR

I used to be the best lover in Paris! I curled my hair! Always wore a rose! Had my way with every girl that crossed my path! I dreamt of sex day and night! Mostly night! I drank wine and gambled my life away!

Edgar jumps onto the back of an overturned bench.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

I was pure evil, but sly as a fox! Too bad I couldn't stay out of the whorehouses! They were my downfall. Aaaah!

Edgar tucks himself into a ball.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

It's the devil! He came back to kill me! Tell him I'm already dead!

LEAR

Maybe you should get back into your port-a-potty. Since you're naked and all. You can do better than this.

Bubbles appears behind Lear, but is fading.

BUBBLES

Maybe this man knows what's going on. You're the one who can do better.

Bubbles vanishes.

LEAR

Forget what I just said! You, my friend, are the first genuine man or woman I have ever met! You figured out life!

Lear rips off his shirt and jumps onto the bench next to Edgar, who has risen from his huddle.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Who needs the constraints of clothing? Clothes are just a ploy by the man to bring down the individual! Just like having a name is the government hiding the fact that they're actually communists!

KENT

Please don't do this, Mr. Lear! You're crazy! You'll freeze to death!

LEAR

Quit bringing me down, nark!

Lear flings his SHIRT at Kent's face. Kent brushes it off.

GIAVACCI (O.S.)

Mr. Lear?

Edgar screams and hops behind the bench. He peeks out from the top. Giavacci comes up next to Kent, holding out a flashlight. He points the light at Lear.

KENT

Thank God you're here, Mr. Giavacci. Thomas is going mad!

GIAVACCI

At least we found him.

LEAR

(whispering to Edgar)

Who's that guy?

EDGAR

It's the devil!

GIAVACCI

Who said that?

Giavacci shines his flashlight at the BENCH. Lear covers his eyes and moves towards Kent and Giavacci.

KENT

Oh...um...just some hobo.

EDGAR

Get away from that man! He's evil!

GIAVACCI

Who are you?

Edgar stays down and smears MUD all over his face. He comes up from behind the bench, leaping over it in a single bound.

EDGAR

My name is...Boxcar Tom! I live at the boxcars! I eat frogs! Mmm, mmm, good!

Edgar rushes over to Lear and pulls him away from Giavacci.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Stay away from the devil! He'll steal your soul!

GIAVACCI

Mr. Lear. We came to bring you to safety. Leave that hobo alone.

EDGAR

Quiet, Satan!

GIAVACCI

Shut up, you homeless ass, before I knock your lights out!

Edgar lets go of Lear, who continues to look at the crazy man with admiration.

EDGAR

Boxcar Tom is cold!

GIAVACCI

C'mon, Mr. Lear. Let's get you home.

LEAR

Mr. Lear has no home!

GIAVACCI

Who cares that your daughters don't want you?! David and I want to help! We came all the way out into this storm to save you!

LEAR

Like you guys know anything. I'll ask the smart one what he thinks.

Lear walks next to Edgar.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Boxcar Tom. What do you think I should do?

KENT

Stop it! Go home with Earl!

LEAR

I'm talking to Tom!

(to Edgar)

What should I do?

EDGAR

Boxcar Tom likes hamsters!

KENT

Do something, Earl.

GIAVACCI

I can't blame him for acting like this, David. His daughters are trying to kill him! That's why he's going insane. I know what it's like to have a child betray you. It's not easy! I only lost one son. He lost two daughters. I loved my son with all my heart. I know Mr. Lear loved his daughters. To tell you the truth, going crazy has crossed my mind once or twice.

LEAR

I'll go if Boxcar Tom can come with us!

EDGAR

Boxcar Tom is cold.

GIAVACCI

Fine! Let's just get out of here!

A BOLT of lightning hits a nearby tree. SPARKS fly as the tree plummets to the ground in between Kent/Giavacci and Lear/Edgar. The leaves catch FIRE. It catches another tree on fire.

KENT

Quick! Get over here!

The fire begins to surround Lear and Edgar. Edgar quickly picks up Lear, climbs on top of the tree in front of him, and jumps beside Kent and Giavacci. He sets Lear down.

GIAVACCI

Thank you, Tom. Now we have to get inside somewhere before this fire spreads!

Lear points behind Giavacci and begins running.

LEAR

There's a port-a-potty this way!

Giavacci, Kent, and Edgar rush after Lear.

KENT

Should we help this hobo guy?

GIAVACCI

He did just save Lear's life.

The four reach the port-a-potty. Lear opens it.

LEAR

Everyone in!

Giavacci and Kent rush in.

EDGAR

Fee fie foh fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!

Edgar hops into the port-a-potty. Lear enters, shutting the door behind him.

GIAVACCI (O.S.)

Christ, it's crowded in here!

KENT (O.S.)

Bloody hell! I sat on the toilet paper rack!

The rain begins to turn more into a drizzle, but the wind and thunder are just as frequent. The tree fires begin to die down.

CUT TO:

INT. ENTRANCE HALL IN LEAR'S MANSION

Edmund opens the double doors and comes into the entrance hall. He removes his wet jacket and places it on the coat rack near the doors. Cornwall comes down the large stairwell to greet him.

CORNWALL

Edmund! My man! How's the weather out there?

EDMUND

It finally began to let up a little on the walk over.

CORNWALL

Well, what brings you here?

Edmund looks around. He takes Cornwall by the shoulder and leads him into a corner. He talks in a whisper.

EDMUND

I have some terrible news concerning my dad.

CORNWALL

Is he alright?

EDMUND

Right now he is. But after I tell you what's wrong, you'll wish he wasn't.

CORNWALL

Well, what is it?

EDMUND

I was just talking to dad at the restaurant before I came over here. He told me that the only reason he's still hanging out around you guys is because he's been waiting to move in and take over Lear Enterprises. He's on a power trip or something. He plans to lead the mob against the entire Lear family.

CORNWALL

Good God!

Edmund pretends to be choked up.

EDMUND

He...he told me that he plans to start with you and Regen. In fact, he said he just put a hit out on you.

CORNWALL

But...

EDMUND

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Cornwall. I...I suppose I put loyalty before my duty as a son.

CORNWALL

Do you have proof?

Edmund takes a LETTER out of his pocket. It's slightly wet.

EDMUND

If everything in this letter's true, you better watch your back.

Cornwall begins to read the letter.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

If you look closely, you can tell it's his handwriting.

CORNWALL

That bastard!

Edmund begins away from Cornwall.

EDMUND

I feel so guilty about this. Betraying my own father! I'm as bad as my brother!

Cornwall pats Edmund on the back.

CORNWALL

Don't worry. You did the right thing. As for your brother, maybe he was on to something when he tried to kill your dad. He was provoked.

EDMUND

He may have been.

CORNWALL

Oh, Giavacci will feel my wrath! I'll have my revenge! Even after I left the mob I still had more followers than he

(MORE)

did. I got connections. If it's a mob war Earl wants, then it's a mob war Earl gets.

Cornwall begins up the stairs.

EDMUND

I got your back, Vito!

CORNWALL

Thanks, Edmund! I know I can trust you. Feel free to think of me as your new father. And if you do happen to see Mr. Giavacci, tell me right away. I'll have him brought to me so I can deal with him myself. I'm off to warn Regen.

Cornwall exits up the stairs. Edmund watches him, smiling.

EDMUND

There's a new godfather in town.

CUT TO:

EXT. PORT-A-POTTY AT CENTRAL PARK - EVENING

The storm and fires seem to have settled. There's merely a light drizzle and a few remaining winds. The port-a-potty door opens and Giavacci peeks outside.

GIAVACCI

Looks like the storm settled.

LEAR (O.S.)

Fantastic!

Lear and Edgar push Giavacci out of the port-a-potty. Kent exits after them.

KENT

I can breathe again!

Giavacci signals for Kent to meet him off to the side. Kent and Giavacci move away from the port-a-potty. As they talk, Edgar and Lear sneak off in the distance.

GIAVACCI

We must have been in there for a little while. I really have to get going. I left Edmund alone to take care of some business that is really more of a concern to me. I trust you can get Mr. Lear safely back to my restaurant. He'll be protected there.

KENT

Lear's already gone crazy. It shouldn't be too hard to get him out of here.

GIAVACCI

Thank you, Kent.

KENT

No. Thank you.

Giavacci smiles and walks away. Kent smirks and turns around. Lear and Edgar are nowhere to be seen.

KENT

Crap!

CUT TO:

EXT. DEEP IN CENTRAL PARK

Edgar and Lear happily stroll through the park, stepping over pieces of tree and rubble that fell during the storm.

EDGAR

Happy, happy, happy, happy...

Bubbles materializes next to Lear.

LEAR

Now this is living!

BUBBLES

And you're the same person now that you were when you were wealthy.

LEAR

Damn straight!

EDGAR

I talk to myself sometimes, too.

LEAR

Oh, I'm not talking to myself. This is Bubbles the Clown. He's a friend of mine.

The three stop. Edgar notices Bubbles and reaches out his hand. Edgar and Bubbles shake. Lear's in shock.

EDGAR

Nice to meet you, Bubbles.

LEAR

You can see him?

EDGAR

Of course. He's standing right next to you.

LEAR

But...he's just...oh, never mind. I guess in reality I'm not the only crazy one.

BUBBLES

Anyone's crazy if they put all their faith in a family's love.

LEAR

My family deserves to be locked up for eternity!

BUBBLES

Then we should put them on trial, sir.

LEAR

That's ingenuous. Let's prosecute!

Lear points to Edgar and then a nearby stump.

LEAR (CONT'D)

You. The smart one. Sit there. You're our judge.

Edgar sits at the stump. Lear points to another stump and signals for Bubbles to sit.

LEAR (CONT'D)

You can sit there, Bubbles. Now I can get revenge on these evil women!

Edgar angrily rises and points at Bubbles.

EDGAR

He's badgering the witness! Order in the court! Sustained!

(singing poorly)

Love lift us up where we belong! Where the eagles fly, on a...

Bubbles stands and joins in.

EDGAR AND BUBBLES

...Mountain high! Love lift us up...

Edgar stops.

BUBBLES

...Where we belong...

Edgar reprimands Bubbles.

EDGAR

Stop! My ears are bleeding! And I said quit badgering the witness or I'll hold you in contempt!

Edgar sits along with Bubbles. Edgar bangs his hand on his knee like a gavel.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Order! Order! Bring in the first witness! Purr the cat is gray!

LEAR

Let's begin with Ganeane. We can prosecute her first. I swear that this woman shamed me, stole everything I owned, and broke my heart!

Bubbles rises and paces back and forth in front of an empty bench, like an attorney.

BUBBLES

Miss Ganeane...is that your real name?

LEAR

She can't deny it. It is!

BUBBLES

Let her answer the questions, please.

Lear rushes to the bench and grabs at air.

LEAR

Quick! She's making a run for it! Stop her!

Lear angrily approaches Edgar.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Judge! You let her get away! This is contempt of court! The dogs are barking at me!

EDGAR

I'll take care of them, sir!

Edgar begins barking loudly.

LEAR

Thank you, judge. Now let's move on to our next defendant: Regen. The hardest heart in the land.

BUBBLES

Hiss! Boooo!

Kent comes running up to the scene. He jogs right through Bubbles and the clown vanishes.

KENT

Mr. Lear. Don't run off like this. We need to get you home so you can rest.

LEAR

I'm already home.

Lear lies down in the grass. He pulls a twig over him like a blanket.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Nighty-night. Don't wake me in the morning.

Lear quickly begins to snore, fakely. Giavacci runs up next to Kent. He's out of breath.

KENT

What are you doing here?

Lear begins rolling back and forth.

LEAR

Ten more minutes, mommy!

GIAVACCI

What the..?

KENT

Ignore him. He's a lost cause. I thought you left.

GIAVACCI

After a few seconds, I realized we shouldn't leave Lear alone like this, especially with his family trying to kill him. I thought he could use whatever protection he could get. Let's get him out of here quickly.

KENT

He's so distressed right now. I think he may have actually fallen asleep.

Kent bends over beside Lear and picks him up. Giavacci nods to Edgar. Kent, Lear, and Giavacci fade away in the distance. Edgar begins to tear up.

EDGAR

I can't believe you want to kill me, dad. I still love you. At least I

(MORE)

don't have it as bad as old Mr. Lear. I pray he and Kent escape safely. But it's back to hiding for me.

Edgar sits Indian-style in the grass.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Alms for the poor! Alms for the poor!

CUT TO:

INT. ENTRANCE HALL OF LEAR'S MANSION

Ganeane and Oswald stand at the bottom of the stairs in the entrance hall. Cornwall stands at the top of the stairwell, talking with Regen. Ganeane whispers to Oswald.

GANEANE

I wonder what they're talking about.

Edmund enters the main hall from one of the rooms on the side. He goes up to Ganeane and Oswald.

EDMUND

Hello.

Ganeane and Edmund make EYE CONTACT. They share a moment.

GANEANE

Oh...hello, Edmund.

REGEN (O.S.)

He must be destroyed!

Cornwall and Regen rush down the stairs to join the others.

CORNWALL

Ganeane, go back to your husband. Giavacci is a traitor! He's trying to kill all of us. He wants Regen and me first, but he's planning to go after you and Albany next.

GANEANE

That bastard!

CORNWALL

Just run home. Leave Giavacci to me. I already made a few calls. We've got Morbidly Obese Tony, Antonio, and a few others on our side. They should be after him right now. Besides, you wouldn't want to see what we plan to do to Mr. Giavacci. We'll give you a call when it's over and done with. Edmund, Oswald, go with her. Make sure she gets home alright.

Ganeane, Oswald, and Edmund exit through the front.

CORNWALL (CONT'D)

And avoid any Italian restaurants!

OSWALD

Even the Olive Garden?

CORNWALL

Especially the Olive Garden!

The door closes. Regen puts her head on Cornwall's chest.

REGEN

Oh, honey. I'm scared.

CORNWALL

Giavacci's not as powerful as you think. He'll be disposed of in time.

There's a knock at the door. Regen rushes towards it, excitedly. She looks through the keyhole.

REGEN

It's him!

CORNWALL

Who?

REGEN

Giavacci! Tony and Antonio got him! That ass!

Regen opens the door. Morbidly Obese Tony and Antonio pull GIAVACCI in. Giavacci struggles to free himself, but his efforts are useless.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

We got him, boss.

ANTONIO

He put up quite a fight. He was with that Lear guy and someone he called Kent. We had no beef with them, so we let 'em go.

CORNWALL

That's fine.

GIAVACCI

Tony! Antonio! Why are you doing this?

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

We pledged our loyalty to Vito a long time ago. We was just waitin' 'til he was in power again.

ANTONIO

And it seems he is now.

CORNWALL

Tie him up!

Morbidly obese Tony and Antonio throw Giavacci onto the floor. Antonio pulls a rope out of his back pocket and ties Giavacci's hands behind his back.

GIAVACCI

Let me go!

CORNWALL

Bring him into the kitchen.

Cornwall and Regen enter a side room. Tony and Antonio pull Giavacci by his legs behind them. They pull him into a gigantic, but typical-looking, kitchen. There's a KNIFE COLLECTION on the wall.

Cornwall pulls out a chair. Tony and Antonio shove Giavacci onto it. They tie Giavacci's ankles to the chair legs.

REGEN

Make sure you tie him up nice and tight.

GIAVACCI

Regen, you bitch! First, you try to kill your father! Now you seem to be wanting to kill me!

CORNWALL

Why should she want something she's about to have?

Regen walks behind Giavacci. She grabs a chunk of his HAIR and rips it out of his scalp. He screams in agony as his head begins to trickle blood.

Regen and Cornwall pace back and forth in front of Giavacci as they question him.

REGEN

Your hair's awfully white...for a traitor!

GIAVACCI

That doesn't even make sense! And what the hell are you talking about? Traitor?

CORNWALL

Come on. I saw the letter. Edmund told me everything.

GIAVACCI

Edmund?

REGEN

Tell us the truth, Giavacci. We want a straight answer.

GIAVACCI

To what? I honestly don't know what you're talking about.

CORNWALL

He's smart...

REGEN

...And a liar.

GIAVACCI

At least Thomas got away!

CORNWALL

We don't care much about Mr. Lear anymore. He's harmless.

GIAVACCI

He's just as sharp as he used to be! Just a little crazy. But I'm sure he'll come back and get his revenge. David Kent's with him. You two will meet your maker soon enough.

Giavacci spits at Cornwall and Regen. Morbidly obese Tony whispers to Antonio.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

He shouldn't have done that.

CORNWALL

Tony! Antonio! Hold him down!

Tony and Antonio grab the sides of Giavacci's chair and hold it in place.

Cornwall moves to his knife collection. He picks a small, but sharp, one from the set. He moves back over to Giavacci, staring perniciously at the KNIFE.

CORNWALL (CONT'D)

Let's see how well you aim that spit without those eyes of yours.

Giavacci struggles violently.

GIAVACCI

Please, God! Help! Stop this!

Cornwall shoves his KNIFE into Giavacci's right eye and quickly removes the weapon. Giavacci screams in agony as his eye begins to bleed. Regen holds a towel up to the eye to help contain the blood.

REGEN

Oh, honey, no! See what you did! Now his left eye's gonna make fun of his right side. You better do something about the other eye, too.

CORNWALL

If you insist...

Cornwall raises his knife.

SEÑOR MUERTE (O.S.)

Stop it, por favor!

Cornwall lowers his knife and turns around. A tall, Spanish man has just entered the kitchen. His SOMBRERO looks like it shouldn't have fit through the door.

ANTONIO

It's Señor Muerte!

Muerte pulls a gun from his holster. He SPINS it around his finger and puts it back.

MUERTE

Go ahead, mi amigo. Make my day.

Cornwall quickly draws a gun from his pocket. He shoots Muerte in the ARM.

Muerte takes his gun back out and points it at Cornwall's head. Cornwall panics and raises his arms in the air.

Regen comes up behind Muerte and hits him in the back of the head with a PAN. Cornwall takes the opportunity to shoot Muerte in the CHEST. Muerte falls over backwards, dropping his gun. Cornwall puts his gun away.

CORNWALL

Nice job, honey.

REGEN

You do what you gotta do.

GIAVACCI

You bastards! Where's my son Edmund? He should see what you're doing to his father. He'll avenge me!

CORNWALL

I don't think Edmund's going to be much help.

Cornwall raises his knife.

CORNWALL (CONT'D)

Out, vile jelly!

Cornwall stabs Giavacci in his left eye and removes the knife. Giavacci continues to scream as both of his eyes bleed. Regen quickly ties a TOWEL around Giavacci's eyes. The towel quickly becomes soaked in blood.

GIAVACCI

Edmund! Help!

REGEN

You idiot! Edmund's the one who told us you were a traitor! He's the one who revealed your murderous plan! He's too good to help you!

GIAVACCI

Oh my God! Edmund was the traitor all along! I'm sorry, Edgar! I'm so sorry!

REGEN

Tony. Antonio. We don't need to do any more. He's learned his lesson. Take him out to the city. Let him wander around. He can do a little sightseeing.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

I hope he doesn't drown in a "see" of sorrows.

ANTONIO

"Eye" sure hope not.

Tony and Antonio laugh.

REGEN

Go!

Tony and Antonio untie Giavacci's legs and pull him out of the kitchen. They pass Muerte's BODY.

Slowly, Muerte moves his HAND towards his fallen gun. He suddenly sits up and fires. Cornwall's shot in the chest. He falls backwards.

REGEN

Vito!

Regen, in a fit of rage, grabs Cornwall's gun from his pocket and shoots Muerte until she runs out of bullets. Muerte lies dead.

Regen runs to her husbands side. She begins to cry.

REGEN

Honey!

CORNWALL

I...I think I've been shot.

REGEN

No shit.

CORNWALL

Am I bleeding?

Regen touches Cornwall's chest. Her HAND's covered with blood.

REGEN

Just a tad.

CORNWALL

Get...help...

REGEN

I'm not leaving you.

Regen takes up Cornwall and supports his arm across her shoulders. She begins to lead him out of the kitchen.

The screen freezes and turns into a black and white photograph. Menacing music plays.

NARRATOR

Vito Cornwall died a few minutes later. But the monstrous Regen lived on. Giavacci was sent alone into the city. Edmund became the new head of the Giavacci family. After Cornwall's death, Regen fought for control of Lear Enterprises, but Ganeane managed to take a large portion of it from her. Ganeane and Regen gradually became enemies. Everyone began to hate everyone else. Evil flowed everywhere. Lear and Kent were left with no place and no person to turn to. They became outcasts. The only hope anyone has left lies in one man who doesn't believe in the word 'hate'. Too bad he's currently wearing a diaper.

FADE TO:

EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF CENTRAL PARK

It's late at night and the park is virtually stranded. Edgar still wanders about, but by now his diaper has grown very dirty and most of his skin is covered in mud or old rags. He seems content. He talks to a TREE.

EDGAR

I haven't seen Lear around here in a while, have you? Poor guy. I guess I have it better. At least my family right old told me they want me dead. Poor Mr. Lear's daughters lied to him and everything. That really sucks.

Edgar peeks around the tree. He notices a man approaching in the distance. Its outline looks like Mr. Giavacci.

EDGAR (cont'd)

Dad?

Edgar quickly hides himself behind the tree, attempting to remain silent. Giavacci gets closer. He's now blind and has his ARMS OUTSTRETCHED to feel where to go. The blood on the towel covering his eyes has dried. He seems to be in a great deal of pain.

GIAVACCI

Help me! Someone please help me! I need to find my son Edgar! My real son! Please stop handing me money. I need help!

Edgar slowly peeks out from the tree. He notices Giavacci and the bloody towel around his eyes. Edgar begins to tear up a little.

EDGAR

(whispering to himself)

Dad? Blind?

Edgar accidentally RUSTLES some leaves. He quickly hides back behind the tree. Giavacci turns in circles, feeling for someone to be there.

GIAVACCI

Hello? Is somebody there? Can you please help me?

EDGAR

(still whispering to himself)

God, I pray this isn't a trick.

Edgar comes out from behind the tree and approaches Giavacci. Seeing his father blinded begins to make Edgar choked up. He struggles to stay in character.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Hello...old man. It's me, Boxcar...Tom.

GIAVACCI

The hobo with the diaper?

EDGAR

The same...

GIAVACCI

Thank God you're here. I remember you from the storm. You saved Mr. Lear. I recall...you reminded me of my son Edgar.

Edgar holds back tears.

EDGAR

(whispering to himself)

It's not like it would do him any good if I told him who I am. The poor guy's in enough distress already.

Edgar starts pretending to be crazy again.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Boxcar Tom...is...cold.

GIAVACCI

Come here, my friend.

Giavacci grabs Edgar's arm. Edgar touches the towel around Giavacci's face.

EDGAR

Your...eyes are bleeding.

GIAVACCI

Terrible incident...happened a few days ago. I've been lost, wandering the park ever since. No one will help me. They all think I'm a hobo like you.

EDGAR

Terrible...incident?

GIAVACCI

I won't bore you with details. You probably don't care. Just please help me. I need to know if you've seen Mr. Lear. He was the guy you saved during

(MORE)

the storm. I need to talk to him immediately. I think he's in great danger.

EDGAR

(breaking character)

Who cares about Mr. Lear? You're the one who's hurt! You're the one who's blind and bleeding! You're...the one nobody bothered to help. Life sucks. It's just God playing with everyone and disposing of them when he's done.

GIAVACCI

I take it, Mr. Tom, that you haven't seen Mr. Lear. That's alright. If you see him, please tell him that I don't think I'll be seeing him again. Make sure he doesn't go home. Send him away. Maybe Cathy will take him back...or something.

EDGAR

I'll...try my best.

GIAVACCI

Thank you, Mr. Tom. I have one other favor to ask of you.

EDGAR

Whatever you like...

GIAVACCI

I want you to take me to the top of the Empire State Building. Just get me to the edge of the roof. I'll take care of the rest. I'm ready to end this miserable existence.

EDGAR

I...but...yes, sir. Boxcar Tom will take you there.

Edgar holds his head down in shame. Giavacci holds onto Edgar's arm as Edgar leads him through the park.

CUT TO:

INT. LEAR'S DOUBLE

The living room in the double has a couch and two recliners facing a television. The television shows a female news reporter standing in front of a tall building.

Oswald sits on the couch with the remote control. Ganeane PEEKS around the corner into the room. She whispers loudly.

GANEANE

Is Sam home?

OSWALD

He just went upstairs, madam.

GANEANE

Good.

Ganeane enters the living room, pulling Edmund in behind her.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

Don't worry, Eddie. My husband's upstairs.

Oswald gives Edmund a dirty look. Edmund pretends not to notice.

EDMUND

So, Oswald. What's on?

OSWALD

News.

The news reporter sounds very excited.

REPORTER

I'm standing in front of the brand new Pataki building downtown. Construction on this edifice was completed yesterday. The inside's still being furnished. There's probably only about twenty people inside those twenty floors right now. But when the

(MORE)

inside's finally complete, this all-purpose building will house numerous businesses, a bank, and even a police station with holding cells in the basement. It...

Oswald shuts off the television. Edmund appears intrigued by the report.

EDMUND

Sounds like an interesting place.

GANEANE

Doesn't sound like one of the boring places Sam always takes me to.

OSWALD

I'd be careful if I were you. Mr. Albany's been a little on edge lately. I told him no one's seen Giavacci, Lear, or Kent for a few days now. He screamed at me and told me to go watch t.v.

Ganeane quickly turns to Edmund. She puts her HANDS on his CHEST.

GANEANE

Then you probably should get out of here. But if you run into him on the way out, don't worry. He's a weak coward. Too bad he keeps getting in the way of our happiness.

Ganeane feels around Edmund's waist. She touches his GUN. Edmund gets the idea.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

Maybe you could remove him from the picture for me.

Suddenly, the sound of FOOTSTEPS coming down stairs fills the room.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

Get out of here for now. I'll send Oswald to you later. He'll give you the go ahead. Wait for my command.

Edmund turns away. Ganeane quickly grabs him and gives him a DEEP KISS.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

Don't go too far now.

EDMUND

From you? Never.

Edmund runs out of the living room. Ganeane smiles and waves as he exits. Oswald sits angrily, arms folded. Ganeane looks at Oswald.

GANEANE

What? You and I weren't going anywhere...

Albany walks in. Ganeane runs over to greet him.

GANEANE

Honey!

Ganeane kisses Albany on the cheek.

ALBANY

I can't believe you, Ganeane! I can't trust you!

GANEANE

Are you still mad about the disappearance of Thomas and the others? They're all still alive out there and...

ALBANY

You've denied your own father!

GANEANE

Oh, shut up. He was an old shmuck anyway.

ALBANY

Last time anyone's seen Mr. Lear, he was running around Central Park, screaming. You turned your own father crazy and you're not even ashamed! And as for what Vito and Regen did to Mr. Giavacci...I can't even think about it. I just hope Regen gets punished somehow. Thank God her husband got what he deserved.

GANEANE

Well, it's not like you didn't play a part in this! Quit being a coward and letting everyone push you around! If you don't like what's happening, do something about it!

Albany angrily raises his HAND to slap Ganeane. She backs down. Albany lowers his hand.

ALBANY

If you weren't a woman, I'd...

GANEANE

You're an ass, Sam! A stubborn ass!

ALBANY

Stop acting like a monster! Save your family! You and Regen keep fighting! Your dad's out there in the cold, left to die! You don't even know where Cathy is! You...

GANEANE

Quit throwing your manhood around! Besides, this family's having enough troubles. My sister's husband just died! I'm under appreciated in my marriage!

ALBANY

Well, at least try to do something about Regen. We don't want her as an enemy.

Albany exits, hands thrown in the air. He mumbles complaints on the way out.

Ganeane calms down against the wall.

OSWALD

Sucks to be you, madam.

Ganeane fails to respond. Oswald looks to see if she's okay.

OSWALD (CONT'D)

So are you going to reconcile with your sister?

GANEANE

(ignoring Oswald)

I've seen Edmund with Regen quite a bit lately. She's a new widow. He's "comforting" her. If Edmund leaves me for Regen, all my dreams will be shattered. The happy life will be gone! No wonder I couldn't figure out why I've been so jealous of her the past few days. I have to do something about this.

Ganeane shakes her head.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

Why couldn't it have been my husband that died?!

CUT TO:

EXT. SIDEWALK NEAR TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

Kent heads up the sidewalk alone. It's still incredibly dark out, but there are a few cars passing by and neon lights shed some light on the streets.

Kent sees Jack approaching in the distance. Kent waves Jack over.

KENT

There you are! It's been a while. Did you ever get around to talking to Cathy?

JACK

Yeah. Me and the Mrs. were just over there. I told her everything. How the king needed help. How you guys were wandering out here with nowhere to go.

KENT

What did she think?

JACK

She was apparently moved by the story. She still loves her father very much. She fell to tears when I told her, but seemed ecstatic that there was still hope for Mr. Lear.

KENT

Did she ask about a lot? Honestly, some of this stuff happening doesn't even make sense to me.

JACK

She didn't need to ask. Right away she was screaming "father". Then she started swearing about her sisters. She started to cry again and then left. I would bet my life that she definitely plans to do something about this whole thing.

KENT

Great. Thank you, Jack. Right now, we could use all the help we can get. Mr. Lear's still prancing through the park. I left him alone for a little while...to come find you, actually. The poor guy's gone nuts.

JACK

Why?

KENT

Shame, hatred, fear, anger. I think everything just hit him all at once. He realized he's done a lot of bad things. Would you like to come help me look for him?

JACK

Sure. I was just heading home. My wife's probably asleep already. What else am I gonna do? I can help get him back to Cathy.

Kent and Jack continue down the sidewalk, back to the park.

CUT TO:

INT. GIAVACCI'S ITALIAN RESTAURANT

The restaurant's filled with Italian mobsters, including Morbidly obese Tony and Antonio. Everyone's having a good time, drinking it up, and cursing like sailors.

Suddenly, EDMUND bursts into the restaurant. All eyes turn to him. It is silent.

BARTENDER

Hey, boss. Want a drink?

EDMUND

No, thank you.

Edmund grabs a CHAIR from the nearest table. He stands on top of it.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Good evening, everyone! I'm glad to see most of you are still here! As you know, I am in fact the new head of this particular...sect. I have some big plans. In fact, I just had a brainstorm. Have any of you heard of the Pataki Building?

ANTONIO

Sure. It's that new place they just built downtown. Supposed to be real nice.

EDMUND

Well...I suggest we take it over.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

What are you talking about, Edmund?

EDMUND

Dad's reign of terror is over! I think it's time the mafia got out of little underground dealings and did something big. Something people would remember. Something with value.

A mobster in the back of the restaurant rises.

MOBSTER

That's crazy. The mob can only work underground. We pay the cops to turn the other cheek. We can't pay them to turn the other cheek on something of this magnitude.

EDMUND

I say we quit wasting our funds on paying off the cops. We have the real power in this town. We should get something out of it.

MOBSTER

What are we gonna get by taking over a building?

EDMUND

Loads of cash! First of all, there's probably about ten, twenty people in there right now. Cleaning crews, whatever. Each hostage is probably worth a pretty penny. I also heard there's a bank vault in there. The building's opening is in a couple days. I wouldn't doubt that they already

(MORE)

moved the money there. Plus, we have an entire building the cops will pay us to get out of.

ANOTHER MOBSTER

What if the cops decide to surround the building and arrest us instead?

EDMUND

We have enough loopholes and people on the outside. We'll be okay.

MOBSTER

You're crazy.

The mobster angrily sits.

EDMUND

Wrong! I'm mad with power, got nothing to lose, and want a few bucks.

THIRD MOBSTER

Why are you telling us this now? What can we do about it?

EDMUND

We need to do it at night so we don't attract attention. It'll be easier to take the building over. And...time is short...for me, at least. I'm banging a pair of sisters and they're gonna find out about the other soon enough. So...are you with me or not?

FOURTH MOBSTER

This is the mob! Not a gang of common thieves. We don't want the media attention this thing will give us.

EDMUND

Well, we deserve the media attention. I can't speak for everyone, but the only way to get ahead in life is to actually do something. Why waste our lives exchanging money under the table?

(MORE)

Let's get out from under there and live! Now...who will help me? Cause I'm doing it with or without you guys.

The room is silent. Morbidly obese Tony and Antonio stand up.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

We're with ya, Edmund. Teach our old boss how to do things.

ANTONIO

Yeah, let's do it.

Slowly, more and more mobsters rise in agreement. Eventually, the whole room stands.

EDMUND

Great! Get your guns! Tell the other members who aren't here! We can do this!

Edmund turns on the chair to face the door. He raises his RIGHT ARM.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Let's get that building!

The mobsters hoot and cheer. They take out their knives and guns and charge past Edmund through the door. The restaurant clears out. Edmund is slowly becoming mad with power.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

(under his breath)

Idiots. Soon I'll have more money and power than Regen and Ganeane combined. This city's mine!

Edmund's face turns into a black and white photograph. A lullaby plays.

NARRATOR

Apparently, the worst is yet to come. Edmund has the entire New York area mafia under his thumb. Regen and

(MORE)

Ganeane are just as bad as ever. However, one daughter still remains loyal to her crazy father: Cathy. As for Cathy, her and Pierre LeBeau eloped shortly after Thomas disowned her. She moved into Pierre's apartment, happy to find that the man she married was very well off. She was content living without her father, but still missed him. However, when Jack told her the news from Kent, she realized she had a chance to show her love and help Mr. Lear.

CUT TO:

INT. PIERRE LEBEAU'S APARTMENT IN UPPER NEW YORK CITY

The apartment is beautifully decorated. There's a chandelier hanging over the luxurious dining room table.

Cathy sits at the table. She has her face in her HANDS. Pierre LeBeau walks in and sits next to his wife.

LEBEAU

You did all you can, honey. The police are out there looking for him. Now you can only wait.

Cathy looks up from her hands. She's in tears.

CATHY

I should've done something sooner. Now he's out there wandering Central Park alone, just waiting to die.

LEBEAU

You have a beautiful heart.

CATHY

Poor dad. He's probably sick as a dog right now.

LEBEAU

Hopefully he's been getting his rest.

CATHY

I hope to hear from him soon. I just need to see him again.

LeBeau rises and moves against the wall.

LEBEAU

Don't worry. Once we find him, everything will be over.

Cathy begins to cry again. A bittersweet song begins to play. Slowly, LeBeau moves behind Cathy. He puts his hand on her SHOULDER. She looks up and puts her hand on his.

CUT TO:

EXT. PATAKI BUILDING - NIGHT

Edmund looks up at the immense building. He smiles and points forward. A herd of fifty or sixty mobsters charge at the building.

CUT TO:

EXT. SOMEWHERE IN CENTRAL PARK - NIGHT

Edgar leads his dad, Giavacci, across the grass. Edgar begins to cry. Giavacci holds tightly to his son.

CUT TO:

INT. PATAKI BUILDING

Everything seems to be happening in slow motion. The mobsters rush in. They knock over tables. A few security guards see them and attempt to take out guns. The mobsters overtake the guards and throw them on the floor. The mobsters put guns at the guards' backs and tie up the guards' hands.

On all the stories of the building, mobsters take over and TIE UP hostages. Some fire bullets into the air. It's one big Italian orgy of delight.

Edmund takes out a gun and shoots one of the guards who's tied up.

CUT TO:

EXT. ELSEWHERE IN CENTRAL PARK

Kent and Jack search through the trees, yelling "Thomas".

CUT TO:

EXT. ANOTHER PLACE IN CENTRAL PARK

Lear stumbles through the grass, alone and forgotten. He falls on his knees. He looks UP to the sky in agony.

CUT TO:

INT. LEBEAU'S APARTMENT

LeBeau now sits beside Cathy on their living room couch. He comforts her.

The PHONE rings. Cathy wipes the tears from her eyes as LeBeau rises and answers the phone. He talks for a moment and then hangs up.

CATHY

Well?

LEBEAU

No sign of him yet. The cops are...stopping for the night.

The music fades out.

CUT TO:

INT. ENTRANCE HALL OF LEAR'S MANSION

There's a knock at the double doors at the entrance hall.

Regen's dressed in all BLACK, obviously still mourning her husband's death. She takes a moment to blow her nose and adjust her most promising features before opening the door.

REGEN

Edmund, you came back! Oh...it's you.

Oswald stands in the doorway. Regen signals him in. He enters.

OSWALD

Actually, Miss Regen, I was about to ask you if Edmund was around. I have to tell him something important.

REGEN

He was just here. He was in a hurry. He said he'd be back. I was hoping you were him. I...need more comforting.

OSWALD

Ganeane just wanted me to give him the go ahead on something...

REGEN

Has he been with Ganeane?

OSWALD

Um...well...

REGEN

What does she want you to tell him?

OSWALD

I...can't say.

REGEN

Well...if it's really important, he's probably at the Pataki Building right now. While he was over here, he told me about some crazy plot to take it over with the mafia. The guy's gone nuts since his father disappeared. But...can you blame the poor thing? I tried to stop him from going. He shouldn't trust that mob. Giavacci's been out there for a few days now. He's probably regained support. He's charismatic. He must have followers by now. I bet they're waiting for the right time to take out my Edmund and put old Earl back in his place.

Oswald heads for the door.

OSWALD

Well, I must go give him the news right away, madam.

REGEN

No! It's...dark outside! You'll...die!

OSWALD

Ganeane said we need to do this tonight...

REGEN

Do what?!

OSWALD

I can't...

REGEN

Is it about her husband? Because I know she doesn't love him anymore. I'm positive. In fact, last time I saw her with my Edmund, she gave him a few...looks.

OSWALD

Well, I'm off for now, but...

REGEN

I bet poor Edmund's dead by now, anyway! Those mobsters! We need to save him, Oswald! I should've taken Earl Giavacci out of the picture when my late husband...

Regen sniffles and blows her nose, fakely.

REGEN (CONT'D)

When my late husband blinded him. I don't think it's too late to dispose of him, though. Right, Mr. Benini?

OSWALD

Are you asking me to go find Mr. Giavacci and kill him?

REGEN

How does fifty thousand dollars sound?

OSWALD

Right away, madam. I heard he's wandering the park somewhere.

Oswald begins out the doors, quickly.

REGEN

Do you want a gun?

OSWALD

No, I'm good. I always carry mine. This is New York.

The double doors fall SHUT behind Oswald.

CUT TO:

EXT. MIDDLE OF CENTRAL PARK - NIGHT

Edgar gives Giavacci a piggyback ride through the park. Edgar can barely pick up his father. Giavacci moves his HEAD around, appearing confused.

GIAVACCI

Are we there yet?

EDGAR

Almost. We're just about to the top. Too many stairs.

GIAVACCI

You know, it doesn't really feel like we're going up.

Edgar tearfully sighs and begins taking high steps.

Edgar sets Giavacci down shortly after and leads him several feet forward. They stand on a bench.

EDGAR

Well, here we are. The edge of the Empire State Building. Don't you hear the birds? Feel the wind in your hair?

GIAVACCI

No, actually.

Edgar sighs again. He blows in Giavacci's hair.

EDGAR

Caw, caw! Hoot! Caw! Moo! Chirp, chirp! Caw!

GIAVACCI

Did one of those birds just 'moo'? Those didn't even sound like birds, actually.

EDGAR

Well, when those bastards stabbed your eyes, it must have affected your hearing too.

GIAVACCI

Possibly. By the way, you don't really sound as crazy as you used to be.

EDGAR

Must be your hearing.

GIAVACCI

So you're sure we're at the top?

EDGAR

Of course.

Edgar peers over the bench and looks down.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Oh, yeah. This is the place. There's a hot dog vender right there at the bottom. He looks like an ant from up here. The cars look like...toy cars.

GIAVACCI

Am I right at the edge?

EDGAR

Yep. You're about an inch from falling off. Don't jump now. You might slip.

Giavacci scrounges around in his POCKET. He pulls out some loose change and stumbles to put it in Edgar's hand.

GIAVACCI

Here, Tom. Thanks for all your help. You can be on your way now. I'll take care of the rest. Good-bye.

EDGAR

Good-bye, sir.

Edgar lets go of Giavacci, but remains standing on the bench. Giavacci spreads his arms and begins shouting.

GIAVACCI

This Earth is too much trouble! I can't stand the suffering anymore! Edgar! If you're out there somewhere, bless you! I'm sorry for thinking you'd kill me! Now, good-bye, cruel world!

Giavacci leaps forward off the bench. He plummets onto the grass with a loud SMACK.

Edgar looks down and cups his hands, pretending to still be at the top of the "building".

EDGAR

Wow, sir! That was quite a fall! I'll be right down!

Edgar looks around for a moment. He then jumps off the bench and kneels beside Giavacci. Edgar makes his voice really low.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Hello? Dude? I was just selling hot dogs and saw you fall onto the ground from the top of the Empire State Building. Are you dead?

GIAVACCI

Go away! Let me die in peace!

EDGAR

Um...actually, mister, you seem to be okay. Most people who jump off the Empire State Building tend to be, at least, bruised. You seem to be breathing and in one piece. It's...it's a miracle that you're alive.

GIAVACCI

Did I really jump?

EDGAR

Definitely. Hundreds of feet. Just look up!

Giavacci gets onto his knees. Edgar stands.

GIAVACCI

I have no eyes! I wanted to die, dammit! Even death rejected me!

Edgar helps Giavacci stand up.

EDGAR

Upsy-daisy. How are you feeling? Can you feel your legs? I'd never guess you could stand by yourself after a fall like that! Another miracle! By the way, who was that guy that yelled after you jumped off?

GIAVACCI

Just some hobo.

EDGAR

Really? Because from here, it looked like he had two heads. He had, like, fifty noses! His horns were all twisty! It looked like...the devil! I suppose that means God was the one who just saved you.

GIAVACCI

That...makes a lot of sense! The guy leads me to my own suicide and lets me jump! He had to be Satan!

Suddenly, Lear skips into the scene. He has a flower behind one of his ears. He's wearing rags and a diaper, like Edgar.

LEAR

I'm king of the world!

EDGAR

Oh no! Poor guy.

Lear shifts into and out of delusions. He talks to the air, but faces different directions.

LEAR

You there! Here's a billion dollars! I have plenty to go around! And you, put down that gun!

Lear looks down. He shrieks and jumps onto the bench.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Aaah! Snakes! Feed on this!

Lear reaches his hand into the air and BITES the cap off an imaginary grenade. He throws it at the ground.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Boom! You!

Lear points at Edgar. Giavacci faces away, unknowingly.

LEAR (CONT'D)

You may not pass without the password! What is it?

EDGAR

Magic fish?

LEAR

You may pass.

GIAVACCI

Hey! That guy sounds familiar!

Lear rushes up to Giavacci. Lear puts his hands on Giavacci's CHEEKS.

LEAR

Ganeane? Is that you? You've gotten very old! I hope you're not still a dirty liar who locks her father out in the cold during a storm! I could've caught pneumonia!

GIAVACCI

Um...Mr. Lear?

LEAR

Shut up, Ganeane! You know it's me! Why couldn't you and Regen be like Earl's son Edmund? He loved his dad! You're an animal!

Lear slaps Giavacci.

LEAR (CONT'D)

I hate you!

GIAVACCI

Sir, you...you're still alive! But...

Lear SLAPS Giavacci again.

LEAR

Look at me when I'm talking to you! Read this letter Regen gave me!

GIAVACCI

I...I can't.

LEAR

Read it!

GIAVACCI

I have no eyes!

LEAR

Oh, is that your game? Fine! Take this!

Lear raises his hand to slap Giavacci again. Edgar quickly gets between the two men, grabs Lear's hand, and lowers it to his side. Lear struggles as if someone's behind him holding him back.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Let me at her! Let me at her!

EDGAR

Calm down!

GIAVACCI

Sir! Mr. Lear! Please.

Lear calms down. He begins to shake his madness.

LEAR

Mr. Giavacci? Is that you? Where are your eyes? Who...did this to you?

Suddenly, Oswald comes up from behind and PUSHES Lear to the ground. Lear moans in pain.

Edgar moves back. Oswald begins screaming.

OSWALD

There you are, you miserable old fart! Mr. Giavacci...

Oswald pulls a GUN out from his pocket. He points it at Giavacci.

OSWALD (CONT'D)

This is gonna be the easiest fifty grand I ever made. Prepare to die!

GIAVACCI

Go ahead! Please kill me!

Oswald prepares to pull the TRIGGER. Edgar quickly moves in front of Giavacci.

EDGAR

Stop it! I won't let you kill my dad!

GIAVACCI

(whispering)

Edgar? Is that you?

EDGAR

Yeah, it's me.

GIAVACCI

You're a hot dog vender now?

OSWALD

Stand down, kid! You don't want to get in the way! I'll happily kill you too.

EDGAR

No! I'm not moving!

OSWALD

Get away from him or die!

EDGAR

No! He's been through enough! He's nothing now! Don't kill him, too!

OSWALD

Go away!

EDGAR

No!

Edgar grabs Oswald's arm and pushes it towards the air.

Oswald FIRES a couple shots, but Edgar forces the gun out of Oswald's hand. The GUN falls to the ground next to Giavacci's FEET.

Edgar pushes Oswald over. Edgar jumps on the servant and they begin rolling across the grass. They push themselves away from each other and get back on their feet.

Oswald charges Edgar. Edgar sidesteps out of the way. Oswald swings back and lands a punch on Edgar. He kicks Edgar in the scrotum and gives him an uppercut. Edgar falls backwards onto the ground.

Oswald reaches into his jacket and pulls out another GUN. He points it at Edgar. Edgar tries to move back, out of the gun's sight, but can't seem to move fast enough.

OSWALD

After I finish you off, you can die knowing your dad will be joining you shortly.

Oswald begins pulling the TRIGGER.

There's a GUNSHOT.

Oswald falls onto his knees and plops onto the ground, dead. There's a BULLET WOUND in the back of his head. A DAILY PLANNER falls out of his pocket.

Edgar looks up. GIAVACCI stands behind Oswald's dead body, Oswald's original gun outstretched.

GIAVACCI

I may be blind, but I can see an odor like that guy's.

Edgar jumps up, holding his back in pain.

EDGAR

Dad! That didn't make sense at all, but thank you!

GIAVACCI

Who did I kill?

EDGAR

Ganeane's old servant, Oswald Benini. Dirty bastard.

GIAVACCI

He's definitely dead, right?

EDGAR

Looks like it. He dropped something, though. Looks like his planner.

Edgar picks the PLANNER up from beside Oswald. Lear comes up next to Edgar and Giavacci. Edgar looks at the planner in shock.

LEAR

What's that say?

EDGAR

Four A.M. Find Edmund and tell him Ganeane wants him to go ahead and kill her husband. She wants to elope tomorrow afternoon.

(looks up in shock)

Women! What the hell are they thinking?! She wants to have my brother kill Sam and then use Edmund to replace him.

Edgar notices Oswald still on the ground.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

We have to do something about this body. Help me pick him up.

Edgar and Lear pick up Oswald. They move his body to a nearby PORT-A-POTTY and shove it inside. As they close the door, Kent and Jack approach. Edgar stands in front of the port-a-potty, appearing nonchalant.

KENT

Mr. Lear! There you are! Um...nice outfit. We've been looking all over!

JACK

Cathy wants you to come back with us.

Lear backs off, appearing crazy again.

LEAR

She wants to kill me, doesn't she? All my daughters do. She wants revenge! I won't go with you!

KENT

Mr. Lear. It's me, Kent. You know you can trust me. Your daughter loves you. She wants to help!

LEAR

She wants to help me?

JACK

Yes.

LEAR

Well...what's keeping us here, then. Let's go!

Lear and Jack begin away from the scene. Kent notices Giavacci and looks at his face sadly.

KENT

Mr. Giavacci...your poor face. Why don't you come with us?

EDGAR

No thanks, Mr. Kent. I'll take care of him.

KENT

Edgar?

EDGAR

Yeah, I'm not crazy anymore.

KENT

Well, take care of your dad.

Kent rushes away. Edgar looks at the PLANNER and attempts to stop Kent, but holds back. He speaks to himself.

EDGAR

No...I don't want to put anyone else in danger.

Edgar takes Giavacci's arm and leads him to the nearest park bench. He sits Giavacci down and kneels beside him.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

Dad. Please stay here for a couple hours. I'll be right back. I have something I need to take care of. It's time to end this charade.

Giavacci touches his son's FACE.

GIAVACCI

Edgar. Thanks for everything...and be careful.

EDGAR

I will, dad.

Edgar wipes a TEAR from his face, takes Oswald's gun from Giavacci, and jogs away. Giavacci sits, waiting contently.

CUT TO:

INT. LEBEAU'S APARTMENT

Cathy and LeBeau sit on their couch in the nicely furnished living room. Cathy has fallen asleep and has her head laying on her husband's lap.

LeBeau looks up, waiting. There's a knock.

LeBeau gets up, laying Cathy down across the couch. LeBeau opens the apartment door. Jack stands outside, with Kent beside him. Kent carries THOMAS LEAR in his arms. Lear is passed out.

LEBEAU

Mr. Lear!

Jack, Kent, and Lear enter the apartment. LeBeau rushes to Cathy and shakes her.

LEBEAU (CONT'D)

Cathy! Wake up! Wake up!

Cathy stirs and opens her EYES.

CATHY

Wha? What is it?

LEBEAU

It's your father.

Cathy shoots to her feet. She runs to greet Jack, Kent, and her father. She holds back tears.

CATHY

Mr. Kent. Th...thank you so much. I...I could never repay you for this. You too, Jack.

KENT

Let's just hope your father's okay.

CATHY

What happened?

JACK

On the way over, he started acting crazy. He was yelling about Ganeane and Regen. Then he just passed out.

LEBEAU

Get him on the couch.

Kent sets Lear down on the couch. Lear is still in diaper and rags.

CATHY

Why's he dressed like that?

KENT

One of the side effects of going crazy...

LEBEAU

Jack, go get some clothes for Mr. Lear from my room.

Jack nods and exits into the bedroom. Cathy kneels beside her father.

CATHY

I hope he wakes up soon.

LEBEAU

(to Kent)

Do you think he'll still be crazy after he wakes up?

KENT

Well, I hope that last bout was just him getting the madness out of himself for good. He should be alright.

CATHY

Daddy! I'm sorry for what my sisters did to you. I should've done something sooner.

KENT

Don't blame yourself for anything, Cathy.

Kent puts his hand on Cathy's shoulder.

KENT (CONT'D)

You're the only one kind and dear enough to make sure he's safe.

CATHY

I started to drive him out, though. I'm really sorry, dad! You're too old to withstand the cold and storm my sisters forced you into. You were forced to stay up at night with no covering but these rags. Please wake up.

Cathy kisses Lear on the FOREHEAD. He stirs.

CATHY (CONT'D)

Dad?

Lear opens his eyes. Cathy begins to cry. She hugs her father.

CATHY (CONT'D)

Dad, you're alive! How are you feeling?

Lear can barely talk. He sounds angry.

LEAR

I feel like I'm in hell. Why'd you have to take me out of my happy place?

KENT

I...I don't think he recognizes you, Cathy.

CATHY

Dad? You know who I am, right?

LEAR

You're an angel, of course. So where exactly did I die?

KENT

I think he's still confused. I don't think he knows how he got here.

LEBEAU

Maybe we should leave him alone for a few minutes.

Lear sits up.

LEAR

Wha? Where am I? What time is it? Am I me?

Lear looks at his hands.

LEAR (CONT'D)

I feel like...what's going on?

CATHY

Dad. You're here with me...Cathy.

LEAR

Cath...

Lear's EYES roll back and he passes out. He falls forward and Cathy catches him.

CATHY

Daddy!

Lear looks forward at Kent and LeBeau. He has trouble speaking.

LEAR

Don't...make fun of me. I'm just a crazy old bat. That Frenchman looks familiar. I can't remember...where am I?

Jack reenters with clothes. Lear looks up at Cathy. She appears BLURRY to him.

LEAR

Cathy? Is that you?

CATHY

Yes, dad! It's me!

Lear sits back on the couch. Cathy moves closer to him.

LEAR

Why...are you crying? Please don't. I remember everything that's happened. You don't love me. You don't need to cry for me. Unlike your...sisters, you have good reason to hate me.

CATHY

I don't hate you, dad!

KENT

Cathy, it's no use. He's still delusional. Put him back to bed and change his clothes. Talk to him later when he calms down.

Cathy nods and helps Lear lay down on the couch. He closes his eyes. Cathy rises.

CATHY

Thanks again for your help, Mr. Kent.

KENT

No problem. I wish I could stay, but...I just found something out about Edmund Giavacci and your sisters. I don't want to alarm you, but if I don't leave and do something now, someone innocent's going to die.

LEBEAU

Can we help?

KENT

Please stay here. You'll be safer. You don't wanna know what's going to be happening outside. I just wish I knew where Edmund was.

CATHY

Um...Pierre and I were watching the news a little earlier today. They had some special report. Something about the mob and the Pataki Building downtown. It was really weird. I know Edmund had mob connections, so...

KENT

Thank you!

Kent dashes out of the apartment. Shortly after, Jack nods and exits.

LeBeau and Cathy remain, holding each other close.

CUT TO:

EXT. PATAKI BUILDING - MORNING

Morning has covered the city. The sound of sirens is heard in the air.

Cop cars have surrounded the Pataki Building. All the cops hide behind their cars, guns raised. Morbidly obese Tony, Antonio, and five other mobsters stand outside the doors to the building. They have their GUNS raised.

They open fire on the police cars, riddling the vehicles with bullets. One policeman stands up behind his car with a bullhorn.

POLICEMAN

Can we at least negotiate hostages?

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

No negotiations, yet.

Antonio opens fire on the cop. The cop ducks back down.

ANTONIO

We got enough artillery in here to blow this city sky-high. So no funny business!

A HELICOPTER begins circling over the building.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

I thought we said no helicopters!

The mobsters open fire on the police cars again. The helicopter retreats.

ANTONIO

Tell 'em the mob sent 'em packin'!

REGEN appears amidst the police cars. The mobsters quickly hold their fire. Regen begins towards the building.

ANOTHER POLICEMAN

Miss! Don't go near there!

THIRD POLICEMAN

Don't be crazy!

Regen walks past the mobsters and enters the Pataki Building. Tony nods to Antonio. They open fire again.

CUT TO:

INT. PATAKI BUILDING LOBBY

Edmund stands inside the lobby, talking to a mobster. The lobby's empty, except for a couple desks around the area.

EDMUND

We can't have anyone on the outside knowing that I'm the one behind this. I want you to make a few phone calls. I need my father, Edgar, Cathy, David Kent, Mr. Lear if he's still alive, and anyone else who knows me to be captured and brought here. There are holding cells in the basement.

The mobster nods and exits. Regen STORMS into the building and runs up to Edmund.

REGEN

Edmund! Our plan's going terribly! I sent Oswald out to kill Giavacci hours ago. There's been no sign of him since. I think something may have happened to him. And I think Giavacci's involved.

EDMUND

That's it? Don't worry. I'll have it taken care of. You seem awfully angry for just that.

REGEN

Do...do you love my sister more than me?

EDMUND

I love you both in different ways.

REGEN

Have you slept with her?

EDMUND

Don't worry about it.

REGEN

But I suspect...

EDMUND

Don't worry about it!

Edmund begins away from Regen.

REGEN

I can't stand Ganeane, Edmund! I couldn't stand you being with her instead of me! Please don't choose her!

EDMUND

Don't kill yourself over my decisions.

Ganeane and Albany BURST through the front doors and join Regen and Edmund.

GANEANE

Regen! I've come to...

Ganeane glances at Albany. Albany gives her a pushy look. She turns back to Regen.

GANEANE (CONT'D)

I've come to...make amends.

Regen turns her back to Ganeane.

Albany sighs and talks to Edmund.

ALBANY

I really just want to get everything sorted out.

EDMUND

You shouldn't have come here, Sam. Now you're an accomplice to this building takeover.

ALBANY

I'm already in way over my head. I don't care anymore. Anyway, I've heard it through the grapevine that Mr. Lear's okay and with Cathy. We can't have them reunited.

REGEN

Why do you guys care?

GANEANE

We want to join forces. You guys won't have to worry about us and we won't have to worry about you. We'll all rule this city together. We'll join the crusade to maintain control of this building.

ALBANY

We should make plans.

EDMUND

Don't worry. I've taken care of everything.

Edmund begins to leave. Regen follows him. Ganeane quickly becomes angry and runs up to Regen and begins walking beside her.

GANEANE

Oh, no! I'm not leaving you two alone.

REGEN

Fine. Come along then.

GANEANE

I suppose I will.

Ganeane, Regen, and Edmund exit up a flight of stairs.

CUT TO:

EXT. PATAKI BUILDING

The mobsters continue to shoot up the cop cars. The mobsters laugh in enjoyment and move even closer towards the cops.

In the alley beside the building, EDGAR climbs over a fence and hops down next to some garbage cans. Edgar has changed clothes into a black, burglar outfit. He tiptoes around the side of the building.

All the mobsters are out front shooting. Edgar notices an EMPTY PATH to the front doors.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

I could do this all day.

ANTONIO

Let's try.

Tony and Antonio laugh. They fail to notice Edgar sneak behind them and enter the Pataki building.

CUT TO:

INT. PATAKI BUILDING LOBBY

Edgar tiptoes through the empty lobby. Albany stands in the center. Edgar sneaks up behind Albany and slowly puts his hand over Albany's MOUTH. Albany visibly panics, but Edgar PEEKS over Albany's shoulder.

Albany notices Edgar and his eyes widen. Edgar releases his grip and lowers his hand.

ALBANY

(whispering)

Edgar?

EDGAR

Can I have a word with you?

ALBANY

Hurry up. We probably won't be alone for long.

EDGAR

I know you, Sam. You're a good guy. I'm hoping that we're both here for the same reason. Together, I bet we can beat Edmund.

ALBANY

I don't really want to beat Edmund. I just want my wife back. I'm sick of looking like a coward.

EDGAR

Well, just keep low. I can probably help you.

There are FOOTSTEPS at the stairs.

ALBANY

You better hide. I think that's your brother.

EDGAR

Good luck.

Edgar looks around. He runs and hides behind one of the DESKS in the lobby.

Edmund enters from the stairs.

EDMUND

What are you still doing here?

ALBANY

I was waiting for my wife to come back. But since that doesn't seem to be happening...

EDMUND

Go help the guys cleaning out the bank vault.

Albany gives Edmund a dirty look. He nods and leaves.

Edmund looks at himself in one of the MIRRORED WALLS.

EDMUND

God, I'm hot! I just wish Ganeane and Regen both didn't decide to come down here. Too bad I did both of 'em already. Oh, well. They hate each other enough. Maybe one of them will kill the other. Make my decision a little easier. Eh, I probably don't need either of them...

Edmund smiles at himself in the mirror. He winks at himself.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Damn! I can't blame them. Who could resist me?

Edmund exits up the stairs. Edgar laughs to himself behind the desk.

CUT TO:

INT. LEBEAU'S APARTMENT

Cathy sits beside the couch. Lear sleeps. Cathy checks her watch.

CATHY

Where's Pierre with dad's medicine?

Suddenly, THREE MOBSTERS WITH OOZIES burst through the apartment door. Cathy rises.

CATHY

What are you doing here? Get out of my house!

One of the men continues to point the gun at Cathy and GRABS her by the arm. She struggles to free herself, but stops after the mobster holds the gun to her head.

CATHY (CONT'D)

Dad, run!

Lear awakens on the couch. He sits up to see the mobster pulling Cathy out of the apartment.

LEAR

Hey! What's going on here? Let her go!

MOBSTER WITH OOZIE

C'mon, Mr. Lear. You're coming with us.

The two remaining mobsters each grab one of Lear's arms and begin pulling him out of the apartment. As they pull him through the door, Bubbles appears in the empty room.

BUBBLES

Take care of her, sir.

Bubbles vanishes.

CUT TO:

INT. PATAKI BUILDING BASEMENT

The basement looks like a typical police station. There aren't many furnishings except for a desk. There's one holding cell in this particular room. The cell has a bucket and a small bench in it.

Edmund stands in the middle of the room, twirling KEYS around his finger. The three mobsters with oozies enter, pulling Cathy and Lear along with them.

EDMUND

Took you guys long enough. Put Mr. Lear in here.

Edmund unlocks the holding cell and the mobsters throw Lear inside. Edmund LOCKS the cell.

Cathy begins to struggle again, but two mobsters subdue her.

LEAR

Edmund?! What the hell do you think you're doing? Let my daughter go!

EDMUND

Mr. Lear. We can't have you and your daughter running around outside. If the police ever found out I'm behind this, they'll question you, get all kinds of information, and have a warrant in no time. We can't let that happen.

LEAR

You're crazy.

EDMUND

So are you.

CATHY

Let me guess! Regen and Ganeane are behind this, too!

EDMUND

Of course. But they have no idea what I'm planning for later.

Lear runs up to the BARS. He's finally himself again. He talks silently to Cathy.

LEAR

It's okay, Cathy. We can rot away in prison. At least we'll be together. We can make up for lost time. I can finally make amends for what I did to you. We'll tell stories! We'll solve the mysteries of the universe together!

EDMUND

Ooh...you know what? That's not going to happen.

Edmund turns to one of the mobsters holding Cathy.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

You. Take Cathy to one of the neighboring rooms. There are more cells in there. We don't want her and Mr. Lear to be in the same cell, conspiring about how to get out.

The mobster pulls Cathy out of the room.

CATHY

Dad!

LEAR

Cathy! They can't separate us again! I'll get out of here and we'll stop them!

Edmund ignores Lear and turns to the second mobster that was restraining Cathy.

EDMUND

You stay here. Guard Mr. Lear. There are a few guns stashed in the desk. Make sure he stays in there at all costs. In fact, if he touches the bars again...shoot him.

The mobster nods as Edmund turns to the third mobster.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

You.

(whispering)

Meet me on the roof in five minutes.

The mobster nods. Edmund begins to exit the prison area, but stops right before he leaves.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Wait a minute. Where's Mr. Kent?

CUT TO:

EXT. POLICE BRIGADE OUTSIDE THE PATAKI BUILDING

The cops remain ducked behind their cars. DAVID KENT comes up behind them.

KENT

What's going on?

One of the cops grabs Kent as the mobsters outside the building begin firing again. They just miss Kent as he's pulled beside the captain.

POLICE CAPTAIN

Stay down! They're packin' heat!

KENT

I noticed!

Another cop crawls on his elbows towards the captain. He sits beside the captain and Kent.

COP

Captain, we just got a call. We have someone on the inside. He's not a cop or anything, but he said he can take care of the situation if we don't act yet. He said his name's Edgar Giavacci. Brave man...

KENT

Edgar?

POLICE CAPTAIN

Did he tell you anything else, officer?

COP

He gave us a positive i.d. on the guy who's behind this. It's one Edmund Giavacci, Edgar's brother.

POLICE CAPTAIN

Find out all you can about Edmund Giavacci...

KENT

Oh, I know him. Earl's son.

POLICE CAPTAIN

Tell us all you know.

KENT

Well, I know he's got a few of my friends in there. I think there's a few people conspiring on this plan.

POLICE CAPTAIN

Can you give us any names?

KENT

Well, there's Ganeane and Sam Albany, Regen Cornwall...

A bullet ricochets off the HOOD of the car Kent and the captain are hiding behind. They duck down.

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRWELL OF THE PATAKI BUILDING

Edgar makes his way up the stairs, clinging to the wall whenever he hears a NOISE.

He looks up. There are several more flights to go.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF OF THE PATAKI BUILDING - MORNING

Edmund stands in the center of the roof. The wind blows through his HAIR. He appears mad with power.

There are all kinds of pipes and antennas sticking out of the roof. There's also a door leading back into the building.

The door opens and the mobster from the basement enters the roof and approaches Edmund.

EDMUND

There you are. I have some important business to send you on.

MOBSTER FROM BASEMENT

What is it? Why are we on the roof?

EDMUND

I wanted to tell you so absolutely no one else could hear us. No one knows about this and you can't tell a soul. Promise?

The mobster nods. Edmund puts his arm around the mobster's shoulders.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Well, my good man, here's what I want you to do. Go back down to the prison. Tell your buddy, the new warden, that Cathy is to be...shot. We must show the Lear family that we won't take any more of their crap.

MOBSTER FROM BASEMENT

Uh...okay, sir.

EDMUND

This is very important. Don't screw it up.

The mobster nods and rushes back through the door off the roof. Edmund looks at the sky, raises his ARMS, and smiles.

EDMUND

Long live the bastard!

Edmund lowers his arms and turns around. ALBANY, GANEANE, and REGEN stand at the door to the roof. Edmund sighs.

EDMUND

Crap. What do you guys want?

The three confront Edmund.

ALBANY

Sir, I believe that you're doing a great job, but I think this operation's

(MORE)

getting out of control. You could've at least put Mr. Lear and his daughter in the same cell.

EDMUND

Sam. Mr. Lear's too old to be with his daughter. He might get all happy and have a heart attack or something. Don't worry. We'll all get together and give them a nice fair trial this evening. Right now, we do what we can to get ahead. Cathy and her father are just a small part of my plan.

ALBANY

Have you even thought this through? I mean, the cops have the place surrounded. We can't stay in here forever.

REGEN

I wish you would have consulted all of us before this! We could've helped!

Ganeane pushes Regen.

GANEANE

What?! Are you saying you have no faith in my Edmund?

Regen pushes back.

REGEN

No! I just thought he'd want to consult with the best and brightest before jumping into something head first!

GANEANE

(sarcastically)

Oh, yeah. I forgot. You're the smart one. The same one who had to go to the hospital when she was twelve because she shoved a battery up her nose.

REGEN

I would beat the shit out of you right now if my Edmund wasn't watching!

(to Edmund)

Mr. Giavacci. Godfather. I submit myself to you. Give me a command and I'll do it.

GANEANE

Submit yourself? What?! You think you're going to marry him before me!

ALBANY

Ganeane! I'm your husband, remember? What the hell are you talking about?!

EDMUND

What, Mr. Albany? Are you too stupid to figure it out? You couldn't see that your wife wanted a real man?

ALBANY

Asshole!

Regen grabs Edmund by the arm and pulls him away. Ganeane and Albany watch in anger.

REGEN

Take this, Ganeane! I declare us officially married! Edmund's mine and I'm his!

GANEANE

You can't just declare yourselves married!

ALBANY

You guys aren't listening to reason anymore! Edmund, I'm making a citizen's arrest.

EDMUND

What?

ALBANY

I arrest you for murder, treason, theft, breaking and entering, and whatever else you can be arrested for! And Ganeane! I arrest you as his accessory to the crime!

GANEANE

Sam!

Albany turns to Regen.

ALBANY

And as for you, you bitch! You can't just say you're married! I declare you two divorced!

(to Edmund)

If you want my wife, you'll have to take her from me. I challenge you! Unarmed combat! Fists and legs!

Albany gets into a boxing position, fists raised in front of his face. He begins hopping.

GANEANE

Wow, Sam! Didn't think you had it in ya.

ALBANY

C'mon, Edmund! Chicken?

Regen shoves Edmund.

REGEN

Honey! Show him who's boss!

EDMUND

Oh, I will! I don't let someone call me a murderer and let him live.

Everyone pauses to consider what Edmund just said.

EDMUND (CONT'D)

Well, anyway, I accept your challenge! I'll defend my honor!

Edmund and Albany begin circling each other like boxers. Ganeane and Regen watch from the sidelines.

ALBANY

I hope you're ready for a good beating!

EDMUND

Bring it!

There's a LOUD SLAM of a door. Everyone stops and turns their eyes to the roof door. EDGAR stands in the doorway.

ALBANY

Who's there?!

Edgar slowly walks up to his brother.

EDGAR

Long time, no see, bro.

EDMUND

Edgar! How'd you get in here?

EDGAR

It's easy when you still have your eyesight.

EDMUND

Did you come to kill me?

Simultaneously, Edgar and Edmund reach down and grab their guns. They instantly raise them, pointing the weapon at the other's face.

CUT TO:

INT. PATAKI BUILDING BASEMENT

A mobster sits at the desk next to the holding cell with Lear inside. Lear sits on the bench in the cell sadly.

The mobster Edmund talked to on the roof enters the area. He moves to the mobster at the desk and whispers into his EAR. Lear observes, interested.

The first mobster leaves and the mobster at the desk reaches into a drawer. He pulls out a GUN. The mobster rises, cocks the gun, and begins away from Lear's cell.

Lear begins to tear up. He MOUTHS the word 'Cathy'.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF OF THE PATAKI BUILDING

Edmund and Edgar point their guns at one another's heads. Albany looks on. Ganeane and Regen stare at each other, angrily.

EDGAR

You're a traitor to your family and everyone else you know. You've betrayed me, dad, and everything you used to stand for. You're a dirty, filthy, good-for-nothing...

Each adjective makes Edmund angrier.

EDGAR (CONT'D)

...Stupid, ugly, evil...bastard!

In a fit of rage, Edmund screams and WHACKS Edgar's arm with his gun. Edgar drops his gun.

Edmund's eyes follow the FALLEN GUN and Edgar takes the opportunity to punch Edmund in the STOMACH. Edmund wretches forward and drops his gun.

The gun BACKFIRES and shoots Albany in the FOOT. Albany looks down in pain.

ALBANY

Ow! Dammit! That hurt!

Ganeane turns to her husband.

GANEANE

Oh, suck it up, sissy!

ALBANY

Shut up, woman!

REGEN

You should listen to your husband.

GANEANE

(to Regen)

Did I ask you for your opinion?

REGEN

Bite me!

Edgar TACKLES Edmund and the two begin wrestling.

Albany stumbles through the roof door, clutching his foot in pain.

GANEANE

I've always hated you, you...you bitch!

Ganeane SLUGS Regen in the face. Regen tackles Ganeane to the ground and they wrestle adjacent to Edgar and Edmund.

Edgar PUNCHES Edmund and jumps to his feet. Edmund follows. Both of their eyes move to the GUNS lying on the floor.

Edmund quickly relinquishes a KNIFE tied to his ankle, hidden under his pant leg. He points it at Edgar.

EDGAR

You wouldn't dare.

Edmund LUNGES forward. Edgar hops back and moves behind one of the PIPES on the roof. Edmund runs up to the pipe.

Edgar peeks out from behind the right side. Edmund THRUSTS his knife towards Edgar's face. Edgar ducks behind the pipe and peeks out the left side. Edmund again THRUSTS the knife towards his brother's face. Edgar runs from the pipe.

Edmund smiles and returns to grab a GUN and stuff it in his pocket.

REGEN

I'll kill you!

Regen and Ganeane pull at each other's HAIR. They both scream in pain.

GANEANE

Not if I kill you first!

They continue to struggle. Edmund walks around the roof, KNIFE revealed.

EDMUND

Don't be a chicken, Edgar! Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Edmund passes a large pipe sticking out from the roof. As soon as he gets by, Edgar LEAPS out from behind the pipe onto Edmund's back. They struggle until Edmund THROWS Edgar off.

Edgar rolls backward, but gets back onto his feet. Edmund rushes over, grabs Edgar, and PLUNGES his knife into Edgar's side. Edgar clutches his SIDE in pain and falls to his knees.

Edmund HEAVES his knife off the side of the roof. He pulls out the gun he picked up and points it at Edgar's HEAD.

EDMUND

Maybe I should shoot out your eyes.

Edgar KICKS out Edmund's FEET and Edmund falls onto his back.

Edgar runs for it, but stops, finding himself at the EDGE of the roof. Edgar turns to find Edmund standing with his gun pointed at Edgar. Edmund raises his arms, surrendering.

EDMUND

It's all over, Edgar. Now I'm going to kill you. You lose.

EDGAR

I never did anything to you!

EDMUND

Yeah, that's true. But who cares now? You're gonna die!

On another part of the roof, Regen and Ganeane continue wrestling.

Ganeane quickly grabs a KNIFE from her back pocket. She THRUSTS it into Regen's stomach. Regen coughs a spurt of blood and keels over, dead, on top of her sister.

Ganeane pushes Regen off. She stands up. She looks at her dead sister and sees EDMUND holding his gun to Edgar.

Ganeane walks over to the other GUN left in the center of the roof. She picks it up and raises it to the side of her HEAD.

GANEANE

God, I hate this world.

There's a GUNSHOT.

Edmund turns his head to see where it came from. Edgar RUSHES forward and tackles Edmund. Edmund's GUN flies off the side of the roof.

Edgar gets up and moves back. Edmund slowly gets up, in a great deal of pain. He feels the back of his head. His HAND is covered in BLOOD.

EDMUND

You asshole! At least my messenger's probably at the basement by now. Cathy should be dead any second.

EDGAR

You...

Edmund tries to laugh devilishly, but COUGHS.

Edmund and Edgar exchange glances.

Edmund SCREAMS and runs forward towards his brother. Edgar ducks down. As Edmund gets on his brother, Edgar rises and HEAVES Edmund into the air, over the side of the building. Edmund screams on the way down. Edgar watches Edmund fall to the ground with a SPLAT.

Edgar quickly runs towards the door of the roof. He sees Ganeane and Cathy fallen in POOLS OF BLOOD. He grabs the GUN from Ganeane's dead hand and puts it in his belt.

EDGAR

I'm coming, Cathy.

Edgar runs back into the building.

He passes Albany, who's holding his foot and weeping in the corner of the top flight of stairs.

CUT TO:

INT. BASEMENT OF THE PATAKI BUILDING

Lear is in tears trying to PICK the lock to his cell with a twig.

LEAR

Cathy!

Lear continues to SCREAM CATHY'S NAME as he fiddles with the lock.

Finally, the lock falls open. Lear THROWS his cell open and runs to the desk in the room. He goes to the DRAWER the mobster went to and pulls out a gun.

He runs out of the room and into a hallway filled with HOLDING CELLS on the left and right. He dashes down the hall, almost unable to breathe.

LEAR

Cathy! Where are you?!

Suddenly, Lear stops and looks into a room on the right. There's a holding cell inside.

CATHY stands in the cell, EYES closed. The mobster stands in front of her, GUN outstretched. The mobster begins to pull the TRIGGER.

Lear quickly raises his gun and points it at the mobster. Lear screams and begins to pull at his gun's TRIGGER.

LEAR

Nooooo!

There's a GUNSHOT.

The screen falls BLACK.

The sound of a body falling to the ground.

Brief silence.

A SECOND GUNSHOT.

FADE TO:

EXT. PATAKI BUILDING - MORNING

The cops have Morbidly obese Tony, Antonio, and the other mobsters on the ground. They're HANDCUFFING each of them. Police rush into the building, guns raised.

MORBIDLY OBESE TONY

Told ya we'd run outta bullets.

The Pataki Building doors fall SHUT behind the police entering the building.

Suddenly, the door is KICKED open. Slowly, Edgar exits the building, carrying CATHY'S DEAD BODY in his arms.

Pierre LeBeau, looking on, screams and BURSTS into tears. He tries to rush forward from the cop brigade, but is held back by a cop and some caution tape.

Lear and Albany slowly exit the building behind Edgar.

PARAMEDICS rush up to Edgar and put Cathy on an ambulance bed. Lear runs up beside the bed. Kent and Albany stand at his side.

KENT

Thomas...

LEAR

Cathy! Cathy! Say you're not dead!

Lear grabs Albany by the COLLAR.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Look! She's moving! She's still alive!

The paramedics cover Cathy with a WHITE SHEET and wheel her away. Lear falls onto his knees.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Murderers! All my daughters are dead!

Lear clutches his HEART in pain. He falls onto his side.

LEAR (CONT'D)

Life's too tough to deal with all this shit. I'm coming to join you, Cathy. I can't take it anymore.

Lear's EYES SLOWLY CLOSE. Albany shakes him.

ALBANY

Mr. Lear! Get up!

Lear falls over on his back, unmoving.

Kent begins to walk away.

ALBANY (CONT'D)

Mr. Kent! Where are you going?

KENT

I have my own journey to make. My master calls.

Kent walks away without emotion. Albany stands and STARES as Kent departs. The paramedics rush over to Lear.

Edgar slowly begins away from the scene.

There's a female REPORTER standing in front of a camera with the building behind her.

REPORTER

The Pataki Building. The scene of a bloody, terrible mob war. Many died

(MORE)

today, but, luckily, the mafia has finally been arrested and their leader, one Edmund Giavacci, is now dead.

The reporter sees Edgar walking by. She GRABS him and pulls him next to her in front of the camera.

REPORTER (CONT'D)

And here's our hero of the day, Mr. Edgar Giavacci. What do you have to say about these terrible, tragic events?

The reporter holds her MICROPHONE to Edgar. Edgar is emotionless.

EDGAR

I guess all I can say is that the best way to deal with this...is to say how we really feel. How our world has let us down. The men and women who died have suffered and us who lived will continue to suffer.

REPORTER

Who was that girl you carried out of the building?

EDGAR

Oh...that was Miss Cathy LeBeau. Thomas Lear's daughter.

REPORTER

What was she?

EDGAR

She was...well...well, she was an angel.

The reporter smiles at Edgar. Edgar doesn't respond. The reporter turns back to the camera and begins talking again.

Edgar WALKS away.

Screen FADES TO BLACK.

THE END.

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