This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
Things Like That Written By: Alex Burchfield Copyright (c) 2001 Alex Burchfield BASED UPON: Actual events. Fade in- We see 12-Year-old Alex Burchfield in front of a computer screen. He is typing something, we can just barley make out what it is... a script; the title at the top says "School Daze". Alex's brother, Joey, about 17 years old, comes up from off screen. Joey- Hey Alex, look in the paper for a movie you wanna see. Alex- Joey, what in the world are you doing being nice to me??? (tragically yet sarcastically) Am I dieing????? Joey- I'm having a party and I don't want you to be here!!! Alex- What? Joey- I'm goin to Josh's, I have a little extra cash on my hands, and this is just one of those brotherly things I have to do every once in a while. Alex- Ok, what the heck does you going to josh's have to do with the rest of the rant you went on? Joey- What the hell else am I goanna do while you and a couple friends watch some Porkeys wannabe movie??? Alex- There are probably millions of middle- aged people out there who are going to rip my esophagus out the next time they see me, but Porkeys is one of the worst teen-collage-sex movies I've ever seen, if I'd watch something like that I'd watch the "Revenge of The Nerds" marathon on Comedy Central!!! Joey- Theres always some damn monologue up your ass some ware or another don't you? Alex- Just the way I am. Joey- Well, just pick out a movie and call up a couple of your freak-show friends and invite them along. Alex- How many times do I have to tell you??? James & Jeffery are not freak-show friends!!! So I will settle for nothing less that side-show friends!!!! Joey- Just pick a damn movie! He throws a newspaper at Alex. Joey walks off screen. Alex ponders at the very "wide" selection of movies. He soon finds one. Then picks up a phone and dials a number. Alex (Into the phone)- ........................ Hey James! Cut to: Outside of a movie theater, it is sunset. The theater has a huge neon light show sign that says "Regency 11". The camera finds a car. We notice Joey driving, and in the passengers are Alex, James & Jeffery (Characters in School Daze as well). The car parks and the three kids step out. Cut to: close up of Alex at the car window talking to Joey. Joey- When does the movie end? Alex- We're not sure. Joey- Ok well, take this and I'll see you later. Joey hands him a twenty dollar bill. Alex takes it and Joey drives off as his window rolls up. The camera adjust so that we see all three kids, Alex James & Jeffery. They start to walk towards the theater (camera follows). Jeff- I don't know Alex, I smell something fishy. Alex- Sorry Jeff, Joey's stench must still be lingering. James- No, I don't think so. James points to off screen. The camera follows his finger to see a fish market. The camera goes back to its regular place, following the three kids. Alex- I find it hard to believe that we didn't notice that when we drove up. James- Oh, well, don't mind it, their like win- dixies'. Their popping up every ware! Jeff- Yeah, kind of like poke`mon merchandise. Alex & James look at Jeff. Alex- This coming from the man who's beat both blue version & red version, and also has every poke`mon card!!! Jeff- It was a phase. James- Then why are we going to see the movie if it WAS just a phase? Jeff- I dunno! I didn't pick it, Alex did! Alex- Hey wait a minute! I pick for us to see something else then you suggested poke`mon. Jeff- And you went with the idea! Alex- Well I figured it would be fun to badger up the movie! James- Yeah! Make fun of the movie and really piss off the other phase goers!!! Alex- Finally a mind on my side! Jeff- Ehh... I guess you're right. They are finally at the box office, Alex pays for everyone's ticket and the three go in. Cut to: in the theater lobby. Jeff, James & Alex are walking. Jeff- Hey I gotta go to the bathroom. James- Ok. Alex- Alright. Jeff walks off screen. James- You know what just happened? Alex- What? James- That whole comedic dialogue we just had, walking from the car to here. Alex- Yeah, what about it? James- Well it's jokes like that we can put in a comedy show. We make tons of wisecracks & jokes we can put into a show. Like a variety show. Jokes like we made coming up here we can put in it... things like that... jokes like the ones we made! We would rule simply scripts!!! Alex- Dude, there are tons of other writers on simply scripts that can write a heck of a lot better than us!!! At least they know how to write in script format!!!!! James- Yeah but you know what I mean!!! It would be one of our best ones! Alex- What just like that movie we made? It was goanna be one of our best ones! James- Can we please on talk about that movie? Alex- No problem! Jeff walks on screen. Alex looks at his watch. Alex- Hey, it's time to see the movie. Jeff- Cool! They walk into the door that says "Poke`mon". the screen fades to black with the following spurred: "Two hours Later". The screen fades back in to see the door. Alex, James, & Jeff walk out to the lobby. Alex- Well! That sure as heck didn't live up to my "Hype-a-meter"!!! James- I know it! It was pretty stupid! Jeff- It was just a two hour-long episode! They could have done that stuff in a series of four part episodes! Alex- I know!!!............ You know what I was thinking when Ash died? Jeff- What? James- Yes, share with us. Alex- I thought... oh no! Ash is dead! The franchise has to end!!! Jeff- Yeah, but then the poke`mon revived him. Alex- Yeah well, I knew the joy wouldn't last! James- You see!!! Things like that!! we could put jokes and stuff like that into the show!!! Jeff- What's he talking about??? Alex- This variety show we're goanna write. Full of comedy! He thinks it would be one of our best scripts! Jeff- Hah, hah... like that movie? James- Lets change the subject. Alex- Hey James, lets go see if Joey is here. James & Alex walk off screen. Jeff walks the other way. Cut to: outside the movie theater. James & Alex are looking for Joey. He isn't there. Alex- Where the heck is he??? James- He's not here yet. Alex- You're kidding! James- SEE!!! Sarcasm like- Alex- Don't tell me! We could put sarcastic jokes like that into the show! James- Yeah! Alex- Are you going to do this every time I make a joke??? James- Ok, ok, I'll lighten up a little! Alex- Ok... James- Well, lets wait a few minutes for him. James picks up a wadded up piece of paper. James- Hey, I bet you can't shoot this paper ball into that trashcan. Alex- Ok. You're on! James hands Alex the piece of paper. Alex shoots it perfectly into the trashcan. James is amazed. James- But you suck at basketball!!! Alex- Luck I guess. James picks up another piece of wadded up paper. Shoots towards the trashcan, but it goes to the far left of it. James- Ummm... it's the wind. Alex- (Points towards the trashcan) The wind is blowing that way!!! James- Forget it!... it's getting cold in here, lets go back inside. Alex- Ok. They walk in. Cut to: Alex & James walking through the lobby. Alex- Where the heck is Jeff? James- I don't know. Cut to: a hallway. With movie posters & theater doors on both sides. We see Jeff and two other kids. A young girl and boy. They are in front of a large poster. They are leaning left to right repeatedly. Alex & James walk on screen. They both raise an eyebrow. Jeff notices them and walks towards them. Jeff- Hey, guess who's here?!? James- Hey that's Travis! Jeff- And Shannon!!!! Alex- You mean THE SHANNON??? The Shannon who you've secretly loved for about four years??? The one we've only herd about and not seen??? Travis & Shannon walk up. Jeff- Hey Shannon, these are my friends James & Alex. Shannon- Hi. Alex- Hey hows' it 'goin? Jeff pulls him off screen. Cut to: Jeff & Alex. Alex- What!!??!!?? Jeff- Ok! I know that there are about five other hot girls in this lobby you can hit on and you choose the one girl that I like!!! Alex- Ok... chill out! And well... I'll admit she is hot! You have good taste. But I wasn't hitting on her! I was merely asking how she was! Jeff- "Hows' it 'goin?" that's what you always say to girls when your hitting on them!!! Alex- (Pondering) Really?... hadn't noticed! Must be to used to it! Jeff- Ok, well just lay off of this one! Alex- I promise! They walk back to the other three kids (camera follows). James- Travis, you haven't been in school lately. Alex- So what the heck were you doin over there??? Jeff- Its one of those hollow-gram posters! If you move side to side you can se the different pictures. The five kids go over to the poster and move side to side. Alex- Hey, cool!!! They all laugh. And quit. Travis- I'll go see if my mom is here yet. Travis walks off screen. Jeff- Travis & Shannon sat right behind us!!! Alex- What did you think of the movie? Shannon- I saw it once before. I like it. Jeff seems to be hanging on Shannon's every word. Alex pulls Jeff off screen. Cut to: Alex & Jeff. Alex- Why don't you just ask her out??? Jeff- I don't know!!! They walk back to Shannon, Travis is back. Travis- She's here, we have to go. Bye. Alex- Bye. James- Bye. Jeff- Bye Shannon. Shannon & Travis walk off screen. James- Well, she's hot! Jeff smacks him upside the head. Alex- (Points off screen) Hey looks what's playing! The camera follows his finger to see a poster of the movie "Gone With The Wind". James- Oh, yeah, it's out on a 20th anniversary or something. Alex- My mom loves this movie. James & Jeff- We know!!! Alex opens the door with the poster on it and we here "By God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again!" come through the door. Then he closes it. Alex- Talk about a diet!!! Jeff- Yeah!! She should try "Slim Fast"! James- Yeah or "Metabolite"! Jeff- I'm hungrey!!!! Alex- Me too!! James- The lobby snack bar is closed cause they got the one on the back. Alex- Why? James- That's where most of the theaters are or something. Alex- Well let's go. They walk off screen. Cut to: a hallway. James, Alex, & Jeff are walking to the other snack bar. Alex- Hey, isn't Shannon in drama class? Jeff- Yeah. James- I think they're doing "Grease for their play this year. Alex- Musicals are weird! James- Why? Alex- James have you ever been at school and Jeff or I just start singing a song? Or any ware else for that mater? I mean is it only certain cities that break out into a song in public? They reach a door that says "Snack Bar". Alex opens it to reveal many people doing this weird choreographed dance and singing "Lets Go To The Snack Bar". Alex lets go of the door and lets it swing shut. They all turn around and walk off screen. Cut to: the lobby. James, Alex, & Jeff are sitting on a bench. Alex- I just went to see if Joey is here, no- go. James- When the heck is he getting here??? Jeff- Yeah, what are we supposed to do!!! Alex (notices something off screen)- I know what we can do. Walks off screen. The other two kids follow. Cut to: the arcade. Alex is next to a girl playing "House of The Dead". Alex- Hi. Girl- Hi. Alex- (Noticing what she's playing) Chapter 2 huh? Girl- Yeah. Alex- Not bad. Girl- I guess. Alex- Hey, do you mind if I play with you? Girl- I guess not. Alex puts in a couple of quarters and pulls out the gun, they play for a minute as we see James & Jeff through the window wall. James- How does he do it? Jeff- Yeah! If you had tried that she would have shot you down like a duck during hunting season! James- You didn't have to go into detail! The camera moves to see the game screen. It is the screen you see at the end of each level. Player one has "14579" points player two (Alex) has "1348" points. The camera moves so that we see the girl's amused face. Girl- You looked like the kind that could beat a girl in a video game... by the way it was the final chapter. She walks off screen. Alex walks the opposite way. Soon we see Alex walks up next to James & Jeff. James- That hurts! Alex- You herd that??? Jeff- Oh yeah! Alex- James, I wanna see you do better! James- Don't mind if I do. The girl is back on screen. James assumes a "cool" posture. Not knowing that the wall is glass, walks right into it!!! The girl laughs and walks off screen. The other two kids walk up to James. James (still recuperating)- She's playing hard to get! Alex- Yeah. Jeff- So we've all had some bad luck at love tonight. Cut to: the exit. We see Joey walking around out front. The three kids all walk up, then out. Cut to: inside the car. The three kids are in the back seat. James- You know what just happened tonight? Alex- What? James- That whole comedic situation. Things like that we could put in a script!!! Alex & Jeff both smack him upside the head. Fade out- Role end credits. The End.
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This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.