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Copyright (c) 2011 This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author. THE GUN EXT. MOONLIT ROAD - NIGHT It is the dead of night, on a deserted rural road. Two figures approach each other from opposite directions. MAN #1 (Shakes hands with second man) Run into any trouble? MAN #2 Of course. Trouble comes with the territory. (He examines his hand) This much? You sure? I work for free. MAN #1 No, no. I insist. MAN #2 Sure, sure. Pleasure doing business with you. MAN #1 turns and begins to walk away. We follow him. Suddenly, the click of a gun is heard behind him. He turns, and we move to see MAN #2 pointing a gun at him. MAN #1 What are you doing? MAN #2 I told you. I work for free. In other words, I work freely. (He shakes his head, confused by his own wording) Plus, this is where the scene starts winding down. MAN #1 But... the director is trying to innovate in the film noir industry... MAN #2 Yeah? Well, he changed plans. MAN #1 Without telling me? MAN #2 Yeah. He decided you were... not required to understand. MAN #1 But... I take his kid to soccer practice... There's no reason he wouldn't-- MAN #2 I don't write the scripts, Jerry. I just act them out. See you on payroll. FADE OUT A gunshot is heard. EXT. CITY STREET - MIDNIGHT We see a street stretching before us. Slowly, we move down the street as slow piano music fades in. The title, "THE GUN", fades slowly in. MAN #2 (Narration) They say that I killed him that night. They say that I pulled a gun; shot him in cold blood. What they don't understand is that the director authorized it. He just removed the scene before the script was released to public viewing. Dirty, double-crossing bastard. Now it's my turn. My move. I'll get the bastard. I'll make sure he bleeds. I'll do it or my name isn'tů Jason Jones. FADE OUT EXT. CITY STREET - NOON The camera is looking at a car's front windshield. Two men in overcoats, AL and JOE, sit there. Al sits on the left, looking through binoculars. Joe looks at a notepad. JOE So, Al, what do we have here? AL Well, I'd use your name in my response, but we both know what your name is, so why should I? JOE What, do I gotta do everything around here? (He looks directly at the camera) My name is Joe. Now that we've oriented the viewer, what are we dealing with here? AL Why are you asking me all of these questions? Were you even at the briefing? JOE Dammit, man! (He leans over and whispers) Just act like we've just received the orders. AL Well, we're dealing with a high-class schmuck. I mean it. The cream of the crop. JOE What the hell kinda crops do you raise? AL The weirdest kind, Joey. The weirdest. JOE And it's to my understanding that he has some connection with the culprit. AL Well, we wouldn't be taking a look otherwise. JOE I mean to talk to you about that. Do you think we're being too... conspicuous? AL What makes you say that? JOE Think about it. Two guys with binoculars. Sitting in a car, directly in front of a house. In broad daylight. Then there's... y'know... (He nods straight ahead, acknowledging the presence of the film crew) Al's face Al gulps uncomfortably. back to scene AL What was the point of your little outburst, Joe? JOE I'm just sayin'... Maybe this guy's clean. AL Joey, that's not our decision to make. JOE Well, what if-- They both jump with a start as someone knocks on their window. It's the CHIEF. CHIEF What the hell are you guys still doing here? You have your orders! JOE Hot halibut, the Chief! We're sure up Hell Creek with a paddle now... or something... AL Go tell that to my mother. Let's get going! EXT. CITY STREET - MIDNIGHT It is raining heavily. JASON JONES (Narration) Some folks say the best place to stop a rat is in his hive. Or nest. Let's just go with rat-hole. Some folks say the best place to stop a rat is in his rat-hole. The only problem is, most folks are too large to fit in a rat-hole. The problem with me, well... We rotate the camera to see a luxurious house with music blaring out of it. JASON JONES ...I'm too small to fit into this rat-hole. INT. HOUSE PARTY - NIGHT The party is extremely popular. Guests chat, drink. We see Al and Joe strolling through the crowd. We follow them as they flash their badges to all of the partygoers. AL Hey, Joe? JOE What is it? AL Is there any particular reason we're doing this? JOE Doing what? AL Showing everybody our badges. I thought we wanted to stay, you know, incognitus. JOE That's the point. We show these people our badges, and they keep us a secret. It's a standard tactic. AL Where'd you learn that? "Spying for Dummies"? JOE No, "Stupidity for Smart Guys". (He stops Al and points ahead) Wait! There he is! AL You sure? JOE Hm. He doesn't look a lot like the photo. AL People change, Joe. JOE Not in the world of criminals, they don't. AL I meant physically. JOE So did I. Now come on, we've got to bring him in. AL He looks sort of familiar... The lights go out. People are heard screaming. AL What the hell?! JOE You know I'm an Atheist, Al. That means that I'm protected from the darkness. AL Quick, grab my hand. We need to make sure we don't lose each other in this crowd. JOE If you say so. Hey... your hand feels disturbingly petite and feminine, Al. AL Thank you very much. There's no time for that, though. Hurry! Al and Joe fumble through the darkness amid cries of "Ouch!" and "My foot!" ext. house party - Night Al and Joe emerge from the front door. We move backward as they run in our direction. JOE Welcome to the outside, Al. AL Is this where we were trying to go? JOE Maybe. I'd know, if you had filled me in on the case. AL We've got to catch this crook, before he becomes a cliché! JOE What the hell is that supposed to mean? AL It's an expression, I... There's no time! There's his chopper! He's escaping! The noise of a helicopter taking off is heard. Joe stops suddenly and looks up. JOE I don't think he's escaping, Al. Machine gun rounds ring out. Al and Joe leap out of the way, barely evading them. They end up on their backs. laying next to each other. The helicopter's noise slowly dies out. JOE Al? AL Yeah, Joe? JOE I think this scene just became a cliché. They fall unconscious, and we slowly zoom out. FADE OUT EXT. CITY STREET - MIDNIGHT It is again raining heavily. JASON JONES (Narration) There've been a lot of rainy days lately. I don't complain, though. The more monologues, the better. Most of my attempts on this man's life were futile, ending with me in precarious situations, bondage, and one time, tears. Tears. Over the fact that I couldn't take him down. He was virtually untouchable. I considered professional help, but... the fruit is sweeter when picked yourself. FADE OUT EXT. ALLEYWAY - AFTERNOON We see an alleyway stretching before us. Cars can be heard in the distance. We see Al and Joe round the corner and walk in our direction. As they meet the camera, we pan backward with them as they walk. JOE Hey, Al? AL What is it, Joe? JOE Do you ever feel lost? AL (He stops walking and turns to face Joe) Joey, I've felt lost ever since my compass fell out of my pocket at that disaster last night. JOE How do you suppose he knew we were there? There are a few moments of silence. AL I'm not even going to answer that. They continue walking. JOE Well... I've got another lead on him. AL Do ya now? Where is he, huh? The bottom of the ocean? Mount Everest? I tell ya, Joe, I can't take much more of this. The witty comments, the rainy days, the Atheism. Sometimes it just... it just gets to me. JOE Al, I... I'm a Buddhist now... AL It's not the point! I quit! This is all too much! I love you, Joey. I love you like the brother my father strangled. But I just... can't take it anymore. JOE Fine. Quit. But there's still a dangerous criminal out there, and I have to bring him in. Joe turns and walks away in anger, leaving Al standing alone. FADE OUT EXT. RURAL FIELD - SUNSET Joe lies on the ground. He is looking through binoculars. JOE Well, he can't be too hard to track down in a place like this. Hey, Al, do ya... oh. Right. (He sighs) Where the hell is he? Suddenly, a stranger's voice is heard. MAN Try looking behind you. Joe stands and turns quickly. He sees a black-clad figure with a mask concealing his face. His voice is also disguised. MAN Why are you following me? JOE What you call "following", I call "walking behind you in a coincidental fashion". MAN Coincidentalate this! The man gives Joe a punch to the face. A choreographed fight takes place, as each seem evenly matched against each other. MAN How long have you been following me? JOE As coincidentally long as you think. Joe takes a kick to the stomach and collapses. The man stands over him. JOE Well... you gonna finish the job? Or are you too-- MAN Whatever the last word was gonna be, no, I'm not. The man raises his foot to stomp Joe. Suddenly, a gunshot rings out. The man collapses and grips his leg in severe pain. MAN Dammit! What the hell just happened?! AL (Holding gun) Next time, don't bring a fist to a fistfight that gets interrupted by a gun. JOE Al! You son of a gun--no pun intended--what are you doing here? AL I couldn't let you go down without your opponent suffering a severe leg wound. JOE Well, thanks. Joe gets to his feet and joins Al. AL Now let's get a look at our cul-- JOE Ah! The cliché thing. Careful. AL Oh, right. Sorry. Al reaches down and removes the man's mask. To their horror, it is the chief. JOE Chief?! What the hell?! CHIEF What the hell to me?! What the hell to you! You guys have been spying on me for days! JOE But... we... Suddenly another gunshot rings out. The camera rotates to show Jason Jones, the man from the very first scene, pointing a gun into the air. JASON JONES Alright, Joan, time to pay. CHIEF Dammit! (He points Jason out to Al and Joe) That's the guy you were supposed to bring in! JOE Oh, damn... AL So, you're Jason Jones. Joe, we were following Joan Jonas! The Chief! You idiot! JOE Well, what? That's what happens when you don't fill me in on the mission! I get mixed up! JASON I've waited all of 36 hours to do this... Now, it's time. AL Sweet mother of God... JOE This is why I became a Buddhist, Al. AL (To Jason) Look, can't we just look at this as a huge misunderstanding? JASON Don't talk to me like a cliché resolution! He framed me for murder! CHIEF Is that what this is about?! JASON Yeah! You told me the gun I was using was filled with blanks! Then you removed the scene from the final cut to make it look like I murdered Jerry! JOE Kinda messed up, Chief. AL You make movies? CHIEF (To Jason) Are you that stupid?! Have you read the papers since the incident? JASON I don't follow the news, Jonas. I act on instinct. CHIEF How about yesterday's headline?! "POLICE INVESTIGATE FILM 'SHOOTING'". In the article, it's universally believed it was sabotage! They arrested the prop manager this morning! He replaced the gun! JASON Whatever you say can't save you now. CHIEF Hey, Jones. Is that a Lincoln brand pistol? JASON (He examines the gun) Why, yes, it is. CHIEF Thought so. Jason points the gun at the Chief and fires. The Chief, however, remains unharmed. JASON What the hell?! CHIEF That's the gun you were originally supposed to use. AL Way to go, Chief! JOE Jeez, what a deduction! JASON Hmph. Well, I feel like an idiot. CHIEF There ya go. JASON Well, a gun is still good for hitting people! Jason attacks the Chief with the gun. The Chief is again unharmed. CHIEF It's made of rubber, as well. AL Chief, you're all over this! JASON My God. I guess you're right. CHIEF Now, if we sit here any longer, my leg might need to be amputated. JOE Apparently a gun is also good for producing a plot twist! AL Just shut up, Joe. JOE (Not hearing) C'mon, guys. Let's get Chief to the hospital. They all begin to help the Chief up. AL Hey, Chief? CHIEF What is it, Al? AL What would you have done if the gun wasn't a Lincoln brand pistol? CHIEF Probably make like a dead tree and not live. The three of them support the Chief, and are seen walking away from the camera, as it slowly pans back and up to see the sunset. JASON (Narration) I can admit when I'm wrong. I can admit when I've done something stupid. It's just a part of life. It exists in all of humanity... It's just something I have to get used to. Piano music fades in slowly, as the four are seen in the distance. JOE Hey, uh, Al? AL Yeah, Joey? JOE (Quietly) Your dad didn't strangle your brother. AL What was that? JOE Nothing. Nothing. The music settles and resolves. FADE OUT END FILM
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