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PAGE ONE
"THE END"
---------
THE GOOSE
"The end, the end my glorious friend. The
end of all our wonderful plans and schemes
the end of all our tools and rules all the
things we treasure and keep I watch while
you weep".
THE FIRST LINE BY SOME FORGETTEN POET AND THE
REST BY ME!
PAGE TWO
SYPNOSIS
"A while from now the world was set to end. But just because
something was set to end, doesn't mean it will. Yep, the
Chief Demon (Devil) needed somewhat to draw the 4 knights
of the apocalypse in. Of course this wasn't easy. But what is? Even
tying your shoelace is hard. Anyway, he chose someone to give
birth to his son, Damon. His plan went like this: When Damon
was born he would kill all witnesses in the room and possess
the first person he saw and get down to CENTRAL PARK in New
York where the demons that have long since been abolished would
rise, the Vampires and Zombies would rise next. Then finally
the horsemen, The President (who was secretly brother of the
Chief Demon) and the Chief Demon-master himself would all
rise then. There was only one problem. The host he picked, Hannah Trent was Doug
Trent's sister, and him and his friend Jimmy Gonzalez weren't
gonna give her up with out a fight...".
FADE TO:
CREDITS and TITLES.
SUPERMOISE: "NEW YORK, THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE
(Christmas Eve, eve).
BUSY STREETS OF NEW YORK
Cars, people and other miscellaneous items go up and
down the road. Billboards, pleasant little coffee shops,
malls lined with various Christmas Goodies litter the place
SOUNDTRACK:
(author hurriedly scraps through his CD collection).
BOB MARLEY'S "RIDING HIGH".
WE PULL BACK:
PAGE THREE
To reveal that all this has been shown through a huge
Cinema-size plasma screen T.V. THE CHIEF DEMON, a large
Ape with horns and a large baby with horns, DAMON, his son
sit watching through the screen.
CHIEF DEMON
Now Damon, be a good boy and when you see the
host you would like please say and I will tell
the Witches so they may post my sperm sample
to them. Got it?
Damon nods, and lets out a "Goo-goo".
DAMON
This just sucks, man, I ain't seen no
pretty girl since Wednesday.
CHIEF DEMON
Shut up, Damon, now what about that girl there?
She's got nice legs and a winning smile...
DAMON
Nah. Her nose is too sharp and her face too flat.
CHIEF DEMON
Grrr, you must pick someone in the next hour. If the
Armageddon hour is to be on goldarned Christmas Eve.
DAMON
I don't know, this sucks. And why the hell do I
have to be called Damon? Why couldn't I be called
Elvis or Gimli?
CHIEF DEMON
Because Elvis was an ancient Earth rocker and Gimli
is a dwarf from a book and a film who kills Orcs
with an axe.
DAMON (SHOCKED)
What? How could he hurt darling Orcs.
Damon points to where two huge Orcs beat up a TORTURED
SOUL with a Samurai sword and a Mace.
CHIEF DEMON
Yes they are so cute aren't they?
The Orcs give a "butter-wouldn't melt" smile.
PAGE FOUR
DAMON
Ahhhh. All the Earthlings have taken the
best names.
NEW YORK STREET.
Damon and his father's voices can be heard in
the background. A Hitman walks into the street and
stealthily takes out a target. As he is about to
leave the scene:
NINE GANGSTERS ARMED WITH SHOTGUNS AND UZIS, come
from a side alley.
HITMAN
Hey! I work for you!
LEAD GANGSTER
Contract Terminated.
They blast him backwards. As a police siren sounds
in the b.g:
LEAD GANGSTER (TO WITNESSES)
You ain't seen nuthin'!
They make their escape down an alley, leaving a crowd
spreading round the body.
DAMON (V.O)
What a harmonious world...aaah. Look at the
beautiful blood spraying from him, aaahhh.
CHIEF DEMON (V.O)
Sickly sweet, makes you wanna choke.
HANNAH TRENT, (22, blonde, business attire) enters.
She takes a casual glance at the body, then turns
into a large skyscraper. She almost trips on some
empty shell-casings.
DAMON (V.O)
Her! Her! Me wants her!
CHIEF DEMON (V.O)
Right finally, Bill-Orc, tell the witches to prepare
the sperm. Let's follow her on the Demon-cam.
SKYSCRAPER NO. 23----OFFICE BLOCKS
PAGE FIVE
Hannah enters, almost exhausted from shopping in her
lunch-break. She opens a large blue locker and carefully
puts the bags inside. Hannah turns to MINTY, a beefy
security guard.
HANNAH
Keep an eye on my locker will you, Minty. After
those idiots broke into the lockers I'm a bit edgy
about leaving things there.
MINTY
Don't worry 'bout it, Minty "Psycho" Nutall
ain't gonna let nothin' happen to 'em.
Hannah nods in thanks. She heads towards the huge
lift and gets in with nine other people.
LIFT
She presses nineteen, someone presses four, another
one presses fifty, etc...
DAMON (V.O)
She's beautiful. Makes you wanna ass-f...
CHIEF DEMON (V.O)
Stop fantasizing Damon, you'll have to kill
her soon.
DAMON (V.O)
But I get an EXCUSE to suckle off her tits.
CHIEF DEMON (V.O)
Damon! She's a lowly Earth-being, do not
think that way!
The lift stops at level five, two blondes get out.
Hannah leans back against the wall, unaware of the
two sick demons who watch her.
DAMON (V.O)
What are you doing pop?
CHIEF DEMON (V.O)
Checking who she's dating or married to
in her "date-files". Ah-ha, dating a
Ferdinand Rio, lives with him in an apartment.
Ah yes. Good, I know exactly where they live
and where he is now, he's there.
PAGE SIX
DAMON (V.O)
Why d'you need to know?
CHIEF DEMON (V.O)
I'm gonna contact the Pod people. I'll
get them to plant a pod on this Rio creature.
And then he'll pretend it really is his child.
I have a cunning excuse for him, Secretary Leatherface
call Sullivan, the head body snatcher, will ya?
RIO & HANNAH'S FLAT
FERDINAND RIO (20's, bald, black) is pacing up and
down the small flat. He's skiving off his scientist work
so he may work on his latest poem. As the doorbell rings Rio turns
round and DOUGLAS TRENT (24, Hannah's brother, huge)
enters.
RIO
Hey, Doug, your sister ain't here at the moment.
TRENT
Hi, no I got some order for her, she ordered it the other
week.
RIO
Order? What would she want from your gunshop?
TRENT
Heh. Heh. Heh. Who knows. (Beat) let's
have a look.
He opens a large box and takes out a laser scoped
AIR RIFLE. Rio is puzzled.
RIO
Can't see why she wants one of those things.
TRENT
Well it's a real good weapon. Y'know she probably
wants it for self defence or something, or maybe
she's writing an article about weapons for work.
Rio shrugs his shoulders. The doorbell rings.
Trent swings the door open.
RIO
Come in!
PAGE SEVEN
A POD PERSON enters. Although we wouldn't know it's
him. His Earth alias is KENNETH SULLIVAN, (40's,
short, bug eyed). Sullivan enters cautiously.
SUPERMOISE: The following person is a pod person.
(Arrow on Sullivan).
The supermoise fades away. Sullivan continues his bug
eyed stare on them. Rio stares back, then shows him
a hand.
RIO
Hey, brother, I think you got da wrong place.
SULLIVAN
Nope, I don't think I have.
Sullivan grabs Rio by the hand and smashes him against
the wall. Trent drops the box.
TRENT
What the---?
Sullivan suddenly notices Trent, he kicks him in the
chest and Trent slams against the wall. He's not quite
unconscious, but stunned badly. Sullivan grabs
Rio's huge frame, punches him hard then continually
slams him against the wall.
He then twists his hand behind his back and shoves a
syringe into Rio's wrist. Rio convulses and drops dead.
SULLIVAN
Feel death, it comes natural.
Sullivan takes a large jar out and pours the liquid
it contains on Rio's body. Trent watches all of this.
Sullivan looks over to him--but takes him from dead.
Sullivan SPITS on the ground.
Where his spit went a huge blue pod appears. Sullivan
kicks it hard and FERDINAND RIO---THE ALIEN VERSION
comes out. He looks blankly at Sullivan.
RIO (ALIEN)
Number 4445559990001 minus 2 what is my
mission?
Trent is horrified, but he keeps still. He finds
one of those "recording pens" he had for his baby
cousin for Christmas, he presses REC.
PAGE EIGHT
SULLIVAN
Your human version was dating a Hannah Trent, she
will come home and say she is suddenly taken pregnant.
Play along as if you were testing an emergency serum
out on her for your Scientist work. Now our master
The Chief Demon's son, Damon, will be her child. On
coming out he will slaughter her then the four knights
will be drawn! The Zombies, the chief devil himself and
the Vampiric clansmen will rise and Armageddon will be
here. Finally.
RIO (ALIEN)
Affirmative.
SULLIVAN
But first I need you to spy on her, leave the body
here and I'll deal with it. Spy on her till she is
infected then prepare yourself to head to the hospital.
RIO
Roger.
Rio exits hurriedly. Trent shivers, he presses STOP.
Sullivan detects the movement and turns viciously
on him.
SULLIVAN
You are the brother---there are no plans for you.
DIE!!!!
TRENT (JOKING)
Are you the devil's son or somethin'?
SULLIVAN
Close. But merely accomplice. And his name is
not "Devil" it's Chief Demon. Or Looie-wiggle,
if you're one of his "Personal Chummies".
Sullivan kicks Trent against the wall, the big guy
takes a bad knock to the head. Sullivan grabs him
round the throat and begins trying to strangle him.
Trent GARGLES and tries to say something, but Sullivan
slams him against the wall harder.
Trent grabs a biro from a table. SLISH! SLISH! SLISH!
He stabs Sullivan in the arm three times, Sullivan
doesn't even wince, but he breaks one hand free to
punch Trent...
Trent counters this and pokes Sullivan in the throat
with all three fingers, he falls off of him gargling
and choking. Trent rolls free---BOLTS FOR THE DOOR.
SULLIVAN
No! No! No!
PAGE NINE
Sullivan regains his compulsion--HIS ARM GROWS AT
LEAST ANOTHER TWO FEET! He wraps it round both of
Trent's feet and slams the poor guy to the ground.
Sullivan quickly slams the door shut.
TRENT
Why my sister out of all the people in the world?
SULLIVAN
She's "The One".
TRENT
Are we talking Morpheus or Jet Li?
SULLIVAN
What?
Trent suddenly goes into action, he grabs both of
Sullivan's feet and SLAMS him against the wall. But
a hand rips out of Sullivan's chest and pushes
Trent back, he tumbles head-over-heels.
TRENT
(Quietly)
What do I do...what do I do?
CRUNCH! Trent drops to the ground. Sullivan gets to
his feet. Glasses broken, stomach opened. He turns
his back to the "corpse" and makes a hideous howl,
the hand is sucked back in and his arm cuts are
repaired.
TRENT (BEHIND)
You're Terminated...
Trent has a large LAMP in his hand, he brings it straight
through Sullivan, who howls. As he dies Trent whips out
a SWITCHBLADE and stabs him to make sure he can't swing
another attack at him.
WHOOOOMF! Another hand comes out to impale Trent, the
"MATRIX-EFFECT" kicks in and Trent dives away from it
and rolls across the ground. Sullivan crumples and
dies.
NEIGHBOUR (V.O)
Everyone alright in there, Rio?
TRENT (IMPERSONATING RIO)
Yeh, I'm just doing a bit of Spring cleaning.
He gawps in horror as Sullivan's body begins to dissolve.
PAGE TEN
NEIGHBOUR (V.O)
Mind if I stop in for a coffee?
TRENT
Sorry, no. Place is a bit of a tip.
NEIGHBOUR (V.O)
Doesn't bother me. Mine is too...
TRENT
Don't you get the message, piss off!
Sounds of the Neighbour walking off. As Trent begins
to wonder what he'll do the room begins to turn
icy cold, Trent shivers, the shower-robe shivers.
Trent spins round to it---RIO'S GHOST, is behind it.
TRENT
Get back, scum...
Trent grabs the AIR RIFLE, he opens the ammo catcher
and with a SPLITSECOND reflex he swings an air pellet
into it. Rio's Ghost stares blankly at him. Trent
levels the weapon.
RIO'S GHOST
Don't be stupid, Douglas, it's me Rio. I'm a
ghost...
POP! The pellet ZINGS through Rio's form. It pelts into
the wall next to it and richoets back at Trent's feet.
RIO'S GHOST
Happy? Now I am a ghost, G H O S T. I've been killed
and imitated and now I'm a G H O S T, yeh? Comin' back
from Heaven to W A R N you, yes have you got that through
your thick skull?
TRENT
Alright, what d'you want? I got to get back
to the shop in half an hour.
RIO'S GHOST
Right! Satan is coming from hell! And he is going to have
his son born from your sister and my ex, yes? My copy is
going to pretend he was using a special potion on her
so she has an explanation for it. Yeh?
TRENT
I'm N O T a D U N C E, okay? Just tell me the rest.
PAGE ELEVEN
RIO'S GHOST
Right, Satan's son Damon will rise through her
then he will lead the Four knights of the apocalypse
through here and they will raise the Living dead and
Vampires, Satan or the Chief Demon will also raise
then the fifty year Armageddon will start.
TRENT
And what will the humans be doing in these fifty dumb
years?
RIO'S GHOST
(Matter of factly)
Slaving away of course...oh and being beaten and
killed.
TRENT
Of course. How stupid was I...
RIO'S GHOST (STARTING TO FADE)
Doug you...you gotta Terminate this baby as
a friend and a brother...in law.
TRENT
You make it sound easy, where's the catch?
RIO'S GHOST
All sorts of creatures will be after you.
TRENT
Oh, you make it sound like a chore...grr!
RIO'S GHOST
Oh, the angels are ready for a shag now...
see ya, later.
Rio gives Trent the thumbs up, who replies then fades
away. Trent can't help shedding a tear. The bath
curtain is automatically pulled over the bath again.
TRENT
(Narrating)
Well, who d'you call in, when in times of need?
I called my best friend...
Before we can cut to another scene, Chief Demon
cuts in.
CHIEF DEMON
(Narrating)
PAGE TWELVE
Yes, the goody two shoes were also rising, I had
trouble so I sent in some pals...
NOW WE CAN ACTUALLY CUT TO:
N.Y.P.D STATION--OFFICE AREA
Trent's best friend, DETECTIVE JAMES "JIMMY"
GONZALEZ, (cop, 24, good looking, joker)
his partner, DETECTIVE MIGUEL ROLFSON, (cop,
32, joker) and SERGEANT L.L CORTEZ (Half Mexican,
29, small) stand around Gonzalez' computer.
They are lolling over some porn pictures on the
Internet.
ROLFSON
I assure you, Cortez, that she is the best.
CORTEZ
No, no, man, it's the one in black--Amber.
GONZALEZ
You twats, neither of them are that good, it's
the blonde at the bottom there, Jayne, she's
the best. Look at her tits, man.
CORTEZ
Gonzalez man you mus' be joking. You wanna get
your eyes tested.
GONZALEZ
Me? Me? Look at who you flaming married?
CORTEZ
Man! You really want dat' busted nose don't you?
ROLFSON
Actually Jim has a point, you did marry bloody
Mary Willians!
CORTEZ
Shit! You two are the pits, you just jealous.
Cortez storms off. Rolfson sniggers and strikes a
HI-5 with Gonzalez. Gonzalez' Cell-phone goes off.
CAPTAIN BRENT (V.O)
ROLFSON! I WANNA SEE YOU WRITING THAT REPORT!
ROLFSON
See ya later man.
PAGE THIRTEEN
He exits. Gonzalez grabs his phone. TRENT is on the
other end.
TRENT/GONZALEZ-SPLIT SCREEN.
GONZALEZ
Trent, what's goin' on...can't you make the club
tonight?
TRENT
Hell, Jim, weird shit's going on.
CHIEF DEMON
(NARRATING)
So the fool made it even worse by getting others
involved, well it was good for us. More victims,
but not for him. Meanwhile the host was feeling
her sudden minute pregnancy, yep, Damon was one
hell of a wiggly baby.
OFFICE BLOCK NUMBER NINETEEN
Hannah sits on her chair typing away at her computer.
Behind her a large "spirit appears" it is completely
invisible to everyone but the viewers, in one paw it
gruffly holds a syringe.
Hannah barely feels a slight prick as the Chief Demon's
sperm gets in her.
HANNAH
Aagh! Bloody wasps.
Hannah swats round her, the spirit gets a nasty blow
to the bridge of the nose as he tries to fade, Hannah
is satisfied that she got the wasp. The women next to
her, LIZ HASSELHOFF, blonde, thin, nods.
LIZ
Funny things wasps, even though it ain't the season
y' just don't know where they are.
HANNAH
Yeh.
She suddenly gets a call, as she talks on her headphones
PAGE FOURTEEN
And speakerphone CHIEF DEMON'S VOICE breaks in (again).
CHIEF DEMON
(Narrating)
Yep, that "invisible" thing was one of my associates,
Bramble, he planted my cursed cells in that creature's
body and you watch, any second it'll "begin" in fact
thirty hours from now she'll be giving birth to sweet
Damon. Heh. Heh. Heh. Aw shit, my cock's caught in
the blasted zip...(Fades out to screaming)
Hannah puts the phone down and begins tapping away, her
stomach rumbles. Hannah pulls away from her monitor and
rubs it. Her usual thin form has given way, a slight
but comfortable beer belly has appeared.
HANNAH
...The hell...
Will Damon come out as a CHESTBURSTER? No. Hannah pulls
back in horror as her stomach grows bigger, now she's about
the size of someone six months pregnant. Liz turns round
and SCREAMS.
LIZ
You're pregnant!
HANNAH
What's going on...Oooooh...AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!
INT. HANNAH'S STOMACH
Damon rolls comfortably, a mad smirk on his face. He kicks
Hannah.
BACK TO: OFFICE:
Hannah rolls on her back screaming in pain. Liz and other
office members try to comfort her. Hannah continually screams.
HER SCREAMS REACH A CRECSENDO. Finally she faints, free from
a terrible weight.
LIZ
Call an ambulance, her baby must be coming early.
OFFICE WOMAN
What baby? Hannah didn't say anything, and she didn't
look extra fat.
LIZ
So...call the hospital.
PAGE FIFTEEN
SLAM CUT TO:
HELL
Chief Demon has a huge whip and is beating two tortured
souls. Next to him is a huge ZOMBIE, this is GEORGE ROMEO,
the Zombie Chief.
ROMEO
When do I get to move my flanks up, I wanna kick
some ass.
CHIEF DEMON
Shut up, Zombie Chief, no one wants to hear your
bull.
TORTURED SOUL#1
Please stop beatin' me.
CRACK! Chief Demon punches him right in the snout.
CHIEF DEMON
Sorry guys, I'm just worried about little Damon.
ROMEO
He's the son of the Chief Demon, he has a razor
sharp forked tongue and the strength of ten
men. You ain't got nothin' a' worry about.
CHIEF DEMON
Well I do worry...a lot...I wonder how the
demons are getting on after that lousy messing
Gunshop owner?
FADE TO:
GUNSHOP
A very worried Trent is his large Gunshop he is
sorting out weapons when the door opens and Gonzalez
enters. Rolfson is nowhere to be seen.
TRENT
Oh, Jim, am I glad to see you.
GONZALEZ
What are you babbling about? Ferdinand dead
PAGE SIXTEEN
his ghost? Body-snatchers? Demons? Hannah
pregnant?
TRENT
It's true I got some of it one tape on this
thing I bought for my little cousin Dougall.
Trent takes out the pen and presses PLAY.
ON TAPE:
SULLIVAN
Your human version was dating a Hannah Trent, she
will come home and say she is suddenly taken pregnant.
Play along as if you were testing an emergency serum
out on her for your Scientist work. Now our master
The Chief Demon's son, Damon, will be her child. On
coming out he will slaughter her then the four knights
will be drawn! The Zombies, the chief devil himself and
the Vampiric clansmen will rise and Armageddon will be
her.
RIO (ALIEN)
Affirmative.
SULLIVAN
But first I need you to spy on her, leave the body
here and I'll deal with it.
TAPE STOPS.
Trent turns to Gonzalez, Gonzalez doesn't know what to
say. He is a part-time Paranormal Investigator!
GONZALEZ
Well what do we do?
As they talk a tall slender man with pale skin and
FANGS enters. This is COUNT DRACULA. Dracula
looks round the place. Gonzalez and Trent are too
busy talking to notice their strange customer.
CHIEF DEMON (V.O)
This is one of my close earth friends, you
may known him as COUNT DRACULA!!!!!!!!
PAGE SEVENTEEN
Dracula breathes heavily as he looks at a Shotgun
from a display cabinet.
TRENT
Things are getting bad man, real bad.
Sees Dracula)
Hey! You buyin' anything...
DRACULA
Yessss. Looking for a bite to eat.
GONZALEZ
Hey! I'm a cop man, go screw y'self
if you're not looking or buying.
DRACULA
Oh thatsss a bit shallow for a cop.
Issssn't it?
TRENT
We got trouble, Jimmy...
Gonzalez takes a Snub-Nosed .38 Revolver from
his jacket. Dracula sarcastically acts shocked.
GONZALEZ
Get outa here, Perp, 'fore I paste ya
balls to the wall.
DRACULA
I'll be back!
Dracula moves out of the Gunshop, he ain't outa the
fable yet, dudes! Gonzalez puts his .38 away.
VOICES (V.O)
(Chanting)
IT'S COMING! THE MYTHICALS GROW NEAR AND THE
FOUR HORSEMEN COME SOON! THE APOCALYPSE IS
HERE! WE MUST SAVE OURSELVES! ARMAGEDDON!
(Echo)
'Geddon, 'geddon, 'geddon.
Trent and Gonzalez are stunned. Both of them head
to the window.
NEW YORK STREETS-GONZALEZ & TRENT'S P.O.V
A group of men all dressed in red robes follow;
FATHER KWONG (40, afro-American, priest, Demon-
PAGE EIGHTEEN
He wears red robes, but doesn't where a
mask (the others wear hockey masks). As they chant
they sound almost...creepy.
TRENT
I wonder where they're going?
As they stand there Father Kwong suddenly turns sharp
as do the other cult members. Trent and Gonzalez realize
they're turning into the Gunshop.
The cult enter.
FATHER KWONG
Quick, close the shop and lock the door.
The possessed are out there!
GONZALEZ
What kinda dumbass Joker are you?
Kwong pushes him aside, he slams the door shut. Trent
comes over with a large block of metal and bolts it
over the door.
BUS SHELTER-ACROSS THE ROAD
McGILLIAN, (30's, shades, mysterious), sits across
the road at a bus shelter, he smokes a cigarette and
watches them.
GUNSHOP
Kwong puts the shutters down, Trent painfully wrestles
his way through the horde of cult-members (about 15).
Gonzalez sits to the side, chewing gum. As he watches
he catches McGillian's eyes.
GONZALEZ
Hey, Father, who's that?
Father Kwong turns to the window, following Jimmy's
pointing finger. He sees McGillian.
FATHER KWONG
McGillian! Don't worry about him, he's just...weird.
He follows us from one place to another.
TRENT
Excuse me, but I think it would...erm...benefit
us to know who the hell you are?
FATHER KWONG
My name is Father Jack Kwong, I'm a Demon hunter.
Through the voice of the ruler I've heard of the
PAGE NINTEEN
apocalypse things are bad. Your sister
is "The One"!
GONZALEZ
And I guess you are "The two"?
FATHER KWONG
No time for comedy. You are James Gonzalez?
GONZALEZ
Yeah, call me N.Y.P.D or Jim. I prefer
Jim. So I'm the only one here who isn't
sure about all this Armageddon mumbo-jumbo?
Father Kwong severely BACKHANDS Gonzalez across
the face.
FATHER KWONG
The Demons are rising! Oh we praise for the
Lord's guidance but ain't ever gonna come so
we stand our ground and...
KWONG/CULT
KICK SOME MUTHAFUCKING DEMON ASS!
TRENT
Look is it true my sister is carrying the
child of the Devil?
FATHER KWONG
YES! And he will be born eight-thirty P.M
tomorrow night.
GONZALEZ
Whoa! Whoa! Bullshit man! Tomorrow night's
Christmas Eve...I wanna live to open my
presents.
ALERT CULT MEMBER (SNIFFER)
Father, Dracula has been here.
FATHER KWONG (SHOCKED)
SNIFFER! Tell me you're kiddin' me?
SNIFFER
No, sorry. I can smell the shitheaded creep.
FATHER KWONG
Count Dracula...grrr...
GONZALEZ
Are we talking about Dracula the one who
sucks ya blood, y'know King-Vampire?
FATHER KWONG
Yes.
PAGE TWENTY
GONZALEZ
Dracula! I thought Professor Van Helsing
killed him?
FATHER KWONG
Yes. He is the original Dracula's cousin.
And I'm Van Helsing's second-removed cousin
in law take away/forget two.
TRENT
Right...
Trent's Cell-phone goes off.
TRENT
Hello? Douglas Trent speaking.
NURSE (V.O)
Hi this is Emily Jordan from the New
Bridges hospital I have your sister
Hannah here, she seems to be as if
she's about to give birth any second,
she asked me to phone you and ask you
to come for support, you needn't come
right away, though, her boyfriend
Ferdinand is here...
Trent's blood freezes as he hears the name.
TRENT
No I'm not busy, tell her I'll come right
away.
TRENT'S IMAGINATION SEQUENCE-ANIMATED
Trent is rushing up some stairs, really
fast--he has a Revolver in his hand.
PRIVATE ROOM
Two doctors, a mad-smiling Rio and Hannah.
As they sit/lay there Hannah's stomach rumbles.
She looks down at it. A beat. Nothing, it's alright
suddenly:
BANG!!!
A huge red horned Devil CHESTBURSTS from Hannah's
belly, it yawns and burps.
RIO
Baby, want burping?
CRUNCH! Rio strangles Hannah just as: Trent bursts
in--gun in hand. Rolfson and Gonzalez follow suit.
TRENT
Dang...too late...
PAGE TWENTY-ONE
The devil-baby looks at Trent with a gooey mouth.
Trent leans over to him---BANG---the REAL DEVIL
enters, he strangles Trent till he's dead then
exits leaving Rolfson, Gonzalez and the Nurses to
stare.
ROLFSON
Sweet hell...
DISSOLVE TO:
REAL LIFE---GUNSHOP
Father Kwong shakes Trent back to reality.
TRENT
Kwong! Kwong! The boyfriend he was taken
by some Possessive...thing. He may be ready
to kill her when the baby pops out!
FATHER KWONG
WHAT? We can't wait any longer.
GONZALEZ
Doug, I told Rolfson about this or rather he
eavesdropped on our phone call, he's come
with me an says he'll help, can he?
TRENT
Sure. Kwong, we can't take all these people!
FATHER KWONG
Grady, Sniffer, Casey come with us. You
lot...Trent, where can they stay?
TRENT
There's a flat above. But I reckon they
should get dressed first...
TRENT
(NARRATING)
No sooner had I met Jack Kwong that I
was in the car, had explained the things
to Miguel Rolfson than we were on the way
to the hospital.
TRENT'S CAR-OLD MINIBUS-NOW DELIEVRY TRUCK
Trent, Gonzalez, GRADY (20's, wears tight jeans
and white T-shirt, bald), CASEY (27, business
clothes, long brown matted hair), Kwong, Rolfson
and Sniffer (22, moustached, spikey hair, skating
garb) are in the car.
PAGE TWENTY-TWO
Sniffer, Kwong, Grady and Casey have swapped their
usual "costumes" for some crappy cheapy clothes. Most
of them are really tight on their wearers. It's very
cramped but there are eight seats in it.
ROLFSON
Can we listen to some music, Doug?
TRENT
Yeh, sure pick a CD.
Rolfson opens the CD-carry-case. It has various
assorted CDs inside. BLACK EYED PEAS, BOB MARLEY,
MEATLOAF, FOO FIGHTERS, SNOOP DOGG, 50 CENT, etc.
Rolfson roots through.
ROLFSON
You got any Garage or R & B?
TRENT
Yeh I think I got a few R. Kelly singles
and his album...hey put this on.
Trent takes out a Red Hot Chilli Peppers CD, he flips
it open and puts it into the machine. (SOUNDTRACK:
RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS---ROAD TRIPPIN').
GONZALEZ
You got a good taste in music, man, you know that?
Trent laughs.
TRENT
Yeh, don't flatter me.
Trent laughs, he has to swerve to avoid McGillian who
stands in the middle of the road.
GONZALEZ
Isn't that this McGillian punk?
KWONG
Yes, yeh it is.
McGillian stares glassily at the van--he shows a pair
of polished fangs. Casey SCREAMS.
CASEY
He's a vampire!
Kwong's heart misses a beat.
KWONG
All these years he's been following us and he was
a vamp!
They speed past the Vampire. McGillian moves to the
side of the road where Dracula stands.
PAGE TWENTY-THREE
CASEY
McGillian was probably trying to get a place in
the gang then fucking vampify us.
KWONG
CASEY! I'm the only cult member who may use
heavy expletives, two sharp slashes to the
forearm.
Casey nods obediently and takes a small blade out,
Rolfson, Gonzalez and Trent wince as she cuts her
forearm twice. Then she covers it up like nothing
happened.
GRADY
You fool Casey.
SNIFFER
Sssh! Sssh! This is the best part of the song!
CUT TO:
HELL
Chief Demon, Romeo and two huge Batmen watch the
action unfold through the plasma screen.
CHIEF DEMON
Agents McGillian and Dracula seem to be doing
little to hinder their movements.
ROMEO
Yes. Should I prepare my army for action?
CHIEF DEMON
Jowlz, make me a Coffee, extra milky.
ROMEO
Blood for me.
JOWLZ (Batman#1) moves off obediently. Chief
turns to Romeo.
CHIEF DEMON
Prepare them if you will, but they shall not
move until Chief Vamp, Dracula that is, gives
us word that his men are ready, that is after
Damon has given us word that he is out.
ROMEO (CONFUSED)
Of course!?!
HOSPTIAL-PARKING LOT
PAGE TWENTY-FOUR
Trent, Kwong, Gonzalez, Casey, Sniffer, Rolfson and
Grady get out of the van. Trent turns the engine
and the CD player, the singer is stopped in mid
voice.
HOSPITAL-RECEPTION AREA/WAITING AREA
Our heroes enter. The receptionist frowns on them.
Gonzalez heads towards her. Rolfson follows, but the
others wait behind them.
GONZALEZ
Hello, I need to know which ward a Hannah Trent
is being kept--she's pregnant.
RECEPTONIST
I'm sorry, I can't really give you that information
right now.
Gonzalez and Rolfson flash their badges.
GONZALEZ
I'm Detective Jim Gonzalez and this is Detective
Miguel Rolfson, we're N.Y.P.D.
RECEPTIONIST
Oh that's alright, then. I thought you were
trouble.
She logs into her computer and sorts through the patient
files.
RECEPTIONIST
Ah yes, she's floor nine pregnancy ward three. It's
funny another man asked to see her, a tall man with
white-ish skin. He was also a cop, Inspector Jeff
Dracula or something. I know it sounds silly but he
reminded me of the horror character of the same name.
(Giggles)
Silly aren't I?
ROLFSON (WORRIED)
No not really. Thanks anyway.
Rolfson and Gonzalez hurry back to the rest of the
party.
ROLFSON
Hey, guys, she said that a guy named Inspector
Dracula call for her a few moments ago.
KWONG
Sheet! Must have forged a badge or something.
TRENT
We'd better hurry, where is she?
PAGE TWENTY-FIVE
ROLFSON/GONZALEZ
Floor nine, pregnancy ward three.
LIFT
The hunters enter a lift. Grady hits the nine
button. The lift begins to ascend, it's old and
bloody slow. They could've had a coffee and a
biscuit before it finally reaches the top!
WARD 3
Hannah lies in a crappy hospital bed, she's in
pain as the baby kicks and writhes around in her
stomach. "Rio" the impostor sits in the corner
pretending to read the newspaper, but all the time
he watches the room like a Hawk.
Liz holds Hannah's hand and comforts her, Hannah falls
in and out of consciousness.
HALLWAY-FLOOR NINE
The gang are moving to the ward when:
TRENT
I think it would be best if only me, Gonzalez and
Rolfson went in. If Hannah were to see you lot
she'd be suspicious and a little unsettled.
KWONG
Yeh, that'd be fer' the best. We'll wait out
here and look for Dracula or anyone suspicious
The cops and Trent go to move off, but Kwong suddenly
stops them. He hands Gonzalez something, it's got a
Handgun base but with eight small mini-gun barrels
on top. Gonzalez is confused, but quickly hides it in
his pocket.
GONZALEZ (CONFUSED)
What is it?
KWONG
The stake-o-matic 3000, it can take out any vampire
and/or most other monsters. Each one of those is
loaded with a small stake, we've got some so we
thought you'd better have one in case.
GONZALEZ
So I pull the trigger to fire once, but hold
it to fire multiple shots?
KWONG
Yeh, you got it.
The cultists move over to the side. Trent, Gonzalez and
Miguel Rolfson head to the ward. Dracula is hiding well.
PAGE TWENTY-SIX
WARD 3
Hannah's pained eyes light up when Gonzalez and Trent
enter, they move over to her but Rolfson sits at the
entrance of the room, he grabs a newspaper.
QUICK SHOT: RIO'S EYES-ON SEEING TRENT.
Horrified, insecure but at the same time extremely
menacing.
QUICK SHOT: TRENT'S EYES-ON RIO THE IMPOSTOR
Ready for anything that the bastard might pull.
HANNAH
Oh, Duggy, I was waiting for you to come.
Trent moves in to hug her, then she sees Gonzalez--
the guy she knew from childhood-almost as near to
a brother as Trent is. He hugs her too.
HANNAH
Jimmy! Oh it's so great, me and Ferdi' are gonna
have our first child.
TRENT (PROBES HER)
How did it come so quick?
HANNAH
Oooooh! Ferdi' said he was trying a new potion
out on me from work. I feel so honoured it's
a two day pregnancy machine. Mum and dad are
flying over tomorrow. It's gonna be so great.
I'm just slightly annoyed that he didn't tell
me.
RIO (IMPOSTOR)
Sorry, Han', I just thought you might...argue.
I'm gonna go and get some coffee.
HANNAH
Bye.
Rio exits, but all the time Trent's eyes are
fixed on the bastard. Hannah pulls him back
to her.
HANNAH
He seems a little edgy, poor guy, he only
just realized that this will make him a
father. Y'see the sperm of whoever wants
the immediate-child has to go in the concoction.
It's soooo groovy.
TRENT
I...see. Hey, Gonzalez I just want a word with
you outside.
Gonzalez nods and follows Trent out.
PAGE TWENTY-SEVEN
HALLWAY
Trent and Gonzalez stand outside. Trent turns to his
friend.
TRENT
Jim---what are we meant to do? I told you Rio
was possessed. I can't exactly go in there all
guns blazing tearing his head off can I?
GONZALEZ
Well you'd have two N.Y.P.D officers as
witnesses...
TRENT
Well c'mon, we'd better by a coke or something
so we have an excuse for going.
FLOOR THREE---WAITING AREA
Kwong, Grady, Sniffer and Casey sit on a large
squashy Orange sofa at the corner of the room.
In the b.g Trent and Gonzalez can be seen at
the coke machine.
SNIFFER
I'm picking up something...LOOK!
Sniffer points to DRACULA! Who wears a trench coat,
he is leading a young female nurse into a private
room.
KWONG
Sheet! He's gonna vampize her. Sniffer, Grady
stay here---c'mon Casey.
Casey and Kwong jump to their feet and RACE down
the hall. Grady and Sniffer watch as if nothing
has happened. They are unaware of McGillian, who
watches them in the b.g.
Trent and Gonzalez get two drinks a Vanilla Coke
and an apple Tango. They exit.
PRIVATE ROOM
Dracula pushes, MANDY the nurse into the corner.
MANDY
Hey! Hey! You're hurting!
DRACULA
No pain, no game, (reads badge) Mandy.
PAGE TWENTY-EIGHT
Dracula grabs her by the collar and slams her against the
wall. She squeals to get free but the disgusting monster
brings his head to her throat. His fangs come out on
storks, like the super Vampires from Blade II.
MANDY
Y...you're a monster...
DRACULA
Vampire actually, you foolissssh cow.
As Dracula prepares to drain her the door slams behind
him. He spins round, knocking Mandy to the ground.
Kwong and Casey stand ready for action-Casey had
slammed the door shut.
CASEY
Die!
Casey rushes at Dracula with a Stake, Dracula counters
and with a sharp fist sends Casey reeling backwards.
Father Kwong catches her.
DRACULA
KWONG!
KWONG
Yeh, bitch. This is for the deaths of Monty,
Jessica, Tim, Todd...all the guys I lost 'cos of you.
Kwong draws two stakes which are connected together
with a short metal chain. He SWINGS them at Dracula.
Draccy counters the move and grabs Kwong's arm---he
tries to sink his fangs into it, but CASEY leaps on his
back! Dracula backs into the wall twice, but Casey clings
on with arms of steel.
DRACULA
Get off you sssshitheaded...
BLAM! Kwong bangs Dracula's head into the wall---CASEY
GOES FLYING. Dracula tries to kick Kwong yet Kwong kicks
him into the wall. Dracula grabs his stomach---tries to
twist his heart out!!!
But just as his hands penetrate the flesh Casey puts
his stake through Dracula's arm---he makes a muffled
scream. Mandy has recovered, but she is scared shitless
so she crawls under the table.
KWONG
Damn! Just die!
Kwong has his two Stakes and rams them into both of
Draccy's sides--but this is the KING VAMPIRE. It'll
take more than that to finish him. He CUFFS Kwong.
PAGE TWENTY-NINE
Kwong falls back leaving Casey open to attack.
CASEY
Aw, bollocks...
Dracula leaps forwards, he grabs Casey--both of them struggle
to fight. But he punctures two holes in Casey's neck. Casey
drops after a little blood has been taken from her.
KWONG
NNNNOOOOOOO! CASSSSEEEEEYYY!
The Vampire-transformation starts to click in Casey. Mandy
squirms. Kwong kicks and karate chops Dracula in both sides,
the stakes dig in further and PIN him to the wall--Dracula
now CANNOT get free.
Casey, takes Kwong from behind.
MANDY
Look out!
Kwong JUDO-CHUCKS Casey over his shoulder. He DIVES free from
both of them and grabs a stool. He keeps Casey back with his
muscular foot while he breaks two stool-legs off of it.
Casey leaves him and lumbers towards Mandy.
BANG! Kwong approaches Casey and prongs her
through the heart with the stake, then pulls it out.
He turns on Dracula.
KWONG
Let's dance.
Dracula squirms, but can't escape. Kwong DIVES forwards--he
shoves both stool-legs into Dracula's heart and ROLLS free
from the dying Vampire King's death.
KWONG'S P.O.V
He sees both Vampires writhe in death.
NORMAL VIEW
Kwong walks slowly over to the window, which has its
blinds pulled shut. Both Vampires hold their hands out and
hiss "No" at him. But Kwong pulls the blinds.
KWONG
FRY!
SUNLIGHT SHOOTS THROUGH THE WINDOWS
Both Vampires (neither of them have their protective
sunscreen on) scream as they dissolve instantly through
the serious sunlight. Kwong breathes a sigh of relief
but is still sad after Casey's death. Mandy crawls out.
KWONG
Were you bitten?
PAGE THIRTY
MANDY
I don...don't think so. Oh what a horrible nightmare.
Kwong checks her for bite marks---there are none.
KWONG
Sorry...
He jams a syringe in her side. She flops lifelessly to the
ground. As he puts it away we:
CLOSE ON: THE SYRINGE
A label on the syringe tube reads "AMNESIA JAB".
He hides Mandy under the desk. She ain't gonna be
waking up for three days at the least.
Kwong scurries out after checking for any blood
marks.
WAITING ROOM
Kwong walks over to Grady and Sniffer.
KWONG
It's done, I had to give a victim the Amnesia
jab.
SNIFFER
Where's Casey?
Kwong hesitates.
KWONG
Dead. She was "Vamped" I had to kill her myself.
GRADY
Awe, hell. This campaign is getting bad.
Kwong nods.
SNIFFER
So you're sure you killed Dracula?
KWONG
Staked the idiot then let the sun hit him.
(BEAT/PAUSE)
And hit Casey.
WARD 3-FLOOR NINE
Rolfson sits reading his paper, he looks up when Trent
and Gonzalez enter. Gonzalez sits next to Rolfson.
GONZALEZ
Did you bring your gun's silencer?
PAGE THIRTY-ONE
ROLFSON
(OFF GUARD)
What...Yeh. Why?
GONZALEZ
Stick it on.
Trent walks up to the bed, he scans the room. Hannah
is the only one there. Trent picks up two syringes
Filled with simple "Anaesthetic".
TRENT
Hey Liz! Hannah!
TRENT MOVES LIKE LIGHTNING, HANNAH AND LIZ BOTH GET
BELLYFULLS OF ANAESTHETIC. Both of them crash down,
they sleep for a bit. Trent hurriedly takes the syringes
out and throws them away.
Rio the impostor is caught off guard. Gonzalez jumps
up and slams both doors. Trent has a silenced .45,
both Gonzalez' guns have silencers (a Colt Python and
the .38) and so does Rolfson's Beretta.
Rolfson shuts the blinds.
RIO
Wh...what's wrong?
TRENT
Don't play dumb, Alien, we're on to you.
Rio jumps for Trent. POP. POP. POP. POP. POP. POP.
ROLFSON OPENS FIRE FIRST, THEN GONZALEZ. Rio is
taken back by the amount of silenced rounds.
Rio still comes back. He uses his forearms as shields.
RIO
OH THAT WAS WRONG! RRRAAAARRRGGGHHH!
His hand turns into a large mace and he swings
it right at Rolfson's head. The "MATRIX-EFFECT" opens
up as Rolfson dives out of the way. Trent RUBGY-TACKLES
Rio to the wall.
Rolfson and Gonzalez run over. Rolfson kicks Rio in the
head and Gonzalez punches Rio in the ribs. Rio
rolls round and SLAMS Trent into the bed, Hannah stirs.
Rolfson grabs the Syringe and puts her out with it.
ROLFSON
KILL IT! KILL IT!
POP. POP. POP. Gonzalez shoots Rio against the wall. Rio's
eyes finally close and he's dead for the second time.
PAGE THIRTY-TWO
HELL
Chief Demon and an army of Orcs and monsters stare
amazed at the flatscreen, they've seen Dracula, Casey
and Rio's deaths!
CHIEF DEMON
Fuck me down with a pogo stick. Commander Orcus, we
will have to give the birth and the Armageddon tonight.
Get Romeo to prepare his fleet and tell Lieutenant
Zoor that he's in charge now.
ORC
What're you gonna do now, boss?
CHIEF DEMON
Send a brain message to Damon, telling him he will
be born in thirty minutes and telling McGillian
to attack.
WARD 3
Trent watches as Rio's corpse sinks into the ground.
The window behind Rolfson bulges---he doesn't notice.
HALLWAY-FLOOR NINE
The lift opens and Kwong, Grady and Sniffer enter
they've decided to come and check on Trent and co.
WARD 3
SUDDENLY THE WINDOW BEHIND ROLFSON BREAKS--TWO ARMS
GRAB HIM.
TRENT
Look out!!
McGillian comes at Rolfson. Rolfson screams. POP. POP.
POP. POP. Trent's bullets drive him off Rolfson.
GONZALEZ
JUMP MAN!!!!!
Rolfson ROLLS out of the way. McGillian's huge
fanged teeth come at him. Trent trips McGillian
up as he moves. His chin smashes on the ground and
he bites the top of his tongue off.
They watch in horror as McGillian proceeds to eat
his own tongue. Soon he gets up and moves over to
the main doors---ready for Trent, Gonzalez or
Rolfson's advance. Gonzalez raises his Colt Python.
PAGE THIRTY-THREE
SUDDENLY THE DOOR OPENS, THE CULTISTS ENTER. They
have already closed the door when they see McGillian.
MCGILLIAN
Join the party, pals.
WHIIIISH! He decapitates Grady---who's shocked head
goes flying out of the window. Kwong and Sniffer duck
and jump away in horror. McGillian grabs at Sniffer but
Rolfson grabs him round the waist.
Trent goes to help and all three tumble to the floor.
Kwong and Sniffer draw stakes, Gonzalez suddenly remembers
something! THE STAKE-O-MATIC 3000 comes out.
Sniffer leaps on McGillian's large back, he shoves the
stake in his back. A young male doctor enters.
DOCTOR
Waaah?
McGillian bites his foot---the Doctor flops onto his back.
Gonzalez tries to aim, but Trent's bulk blocks his way.
McGillian backs into the wall and Sniffer is STABBED BY
HIS OWN STAKE. Rolfson crawls away.
MCGILLIAN
YEH, BITCHES!
The Doctor rises as a Vampire---he jumps at Trent, Trent
punches him. CHOOW! CHOOW! CHOOW! Two of the stakes hit
the Doctor and the other hits McGillian in the head.
Gonzalez turns the Stake o matic onto him.
McGillian trips him, Gonzalez smashes onto his back.
Gonzalez falls painfully down. Kwong hands Trent a
stake.
TRENT
GRRRR!
Trent brings the stake up and swings it. McGillian
convulses with a stake jutting out from his heart.
Kwong and Rolfson move like one for the blinds. Hannah's
eyes pop open, she sees the Vampires burn, she turns
to Trent and Gonzalez.
HANNAH
Am I dreaming! OOOOOOOOH! THE BABY'S COMING!
Sniffer, Kwong, Trent, Rolfson and Gonzalez rush towards
the room. They begin to deliver the baby, Damon's head
appears just like that.
KWONG
Here we go...
DAMON
Hey boys...
PAGE THIRTY-FOUR
BLAM! Gonzalez' un-silenced Colt Python shoots Damon
in the head. Damon barely bats an eyelid. He pops
out.
ALLL HELL BREAKS LOSE!
STREETS OF NEW YORK
New York is the first place hit by the Apocalypse wave.
The ground shakes, the stunned civilians turn and look
to the ground.
FIFTY THOUSAND ZOMBIES AND ROMEO RISE
They are followed by:
THIRTY VAMPIRES
They are followed by:
DEMONS, THE CHIEF DEMON AND ORCS
Huge Earthquakes rip into the ground vehicles, buildings
etc are torn open. People fall everywhere, the Zombies
(Note: They're slow and bloody-Romero style) are the first
on the scene constantly attacking anyone in sight.
CHIEF DEMON
Yep. All "Hell broke lose". I bet you'd be shittin'
Yourselves right now if this were real.
HELL
Chief Demon watches the action unfolding. He cackles.
HOSPITAL
The floor begins to break. The hunters stand and shiver.
They know it will break in half, but they don't know
which side will fall.
KWONG
GET TO THE LEFT! THE LEFT!
Trent dives to the left, Rolfson and Sniffer follow him,
Gonzalez was already on that side. Hannah stares open
mouthed at the chaos all around, Kwong prepares to jump.
TRENT
What about Hannah? HANNAH!
PAGE THIRTY-FIVE
GONZALEZ
And her sexy friend...
Kwong turns back to Hannah, who is blubbering. Trent
looks all around for Damon.
KWONG
Grab hold of my hand, missus...
Kwong leans over and YANKS Hannah out of her bed. She
screams a little.
THE FLOOR BEGINS TO CRACK.
KWONG (DESPERATE)
CATCH HER!
He tosses Hannah across the side---GONZALEZ CATCHES HER
GRUFFLY. The floor trembles.
On the other side Kwong turns to jump himself but he hears
Liz groan. Without a thought for himself Kwong reaches out
for her---the scared woman grabs his hand.
Hannah passes out.
A LARGE CRACK APPEARS IN THE FLOOR--THE BUILDING BEGINS TO
FALL IN HALF. Kwong knows he has merely seconds---THE FLOOR
GIVES WAY.
KWONG (SCREAMING)
Catch Her....noooooooooooooow! AAAIIIEEE!
Just as Trent and Sniffer grab Liz, the left side finally
breaks. Kwong begins to fall.
SNIFFER
MASTER!
Moving light lightning Sniffer grabs a large wooden
pole---he swings it down.
Somehow, someway Father Kwong grabs the pole. Sniffer
tries to pull---can't---Kwong's heavy---too heavy.
SNIFFER
Trent...help!
Rolfson and Trent grab the pole and SWING BACKWARDS.
Kwong lands on his side.
THE WHOLE OF THE LEFT GIVES WAY AND SMASHES TO THE
GROUND BELOW.
The survivors turn and look at each other:
DOUG TRENT: Standing firm, the events of the past hours
PAGE THIRTY-SIX
have shook this giant of a man. But still at six foot
four Trent is still ready for action.
JIMMY GONZALEZ: The muscular Joker isn't funny anymore.
The threat of Armageddon and all of hell's demons have
finished him. Gonzalez "ain't half the man he used to be"
but he's one of New York's finest (N.Y.P.D) so don't count
him out yet.
FATHER JACK KWONG: The zany cult leader/Vampire hunter
fails to be shaken at all. Death, the Apocalypse, the odds
against him. That's just how he wants it.
HANNAH TRENT: She's unconscious, sleeping like a baby.
It's all too much for the office secretary. Her baby being
Satan's son and all. Why she doesn't even know he is yet,
she just thinks it's a nightmare. A bad Nightmare.
MIGUEL ROLFSON: Gonzalez' partner still somehow keeps his
cool, although at any one moment he could snap-they all
could--every single on of them...
LEE "SNIFFER" CHONG: Sniffer, Kwong's best psychic
medium and his Cult-Segundo, is hanging in there. He's
heard Kwong's Apocalyptic preaching all his adult life
as with Kwong this is the climax of all his life.
LIZ DONNELLY: Hannah's best friend and secretary, Liz,
is really unsure what's going on. It's all been a blur,
Hannah's sudden fainting session, then he baby, then
shooting, then her being knocked out, then this mad
building which has just fallen apart.
FADE TO:
THE HOSPITAL ROOM
Liz backs away from the men, very scared.
LIZ
Wh...what's going on? Am I going crazy?
Jack steps towards her, he grabs her hand and soothes
her.
KWONG
It's okay, baby, it's alright. Your friend's
baby was the son of the devil, we tried to
stop him but...it's too late, the apocalypse
has started...our world is ending. Very soon the
horsemen will open "Satan's gate" and he will
live among us.
LIZ
What....?
She turns to Trent. He grimly nods--then swings
PAGE THIRTY-SEVEN
to face Kwong.
TRENT
Is this true, Kwong, is our chance over?
KWONG
Not quite. It's a long shot--but if we managed
to get to hell in time...
TRENT
I don't like it, I really don't like it.
Trent opens his jacket and takes out two Desert
Eagle .50s with laser scopes.
TRENT
I'm gonna go to my shop and get some supplies then
I'll have to make the run. Anyone else wanna come?
Trent stands looking at the others. As he looks Hannah
begins to LEVITATE! All of them look at her in amazement.
But she is still asleep. A shapeless invisible form holds
her. Kwong RECOGNIZES it.
KWONG
GET AWAY FROM IT! IT'S A COLLECTOR!
Trent tries to run to save his sister, but Kwong TACKLES
him down. Trent and Kwong crash to the ground. Trent
watches madly as the Collector takes away his sister.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! He gets a few shots off but they miss.
TRENT (GETTING UP)
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? I MAY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO
SAVE HER...SHE'S MY SISTER...NOW SHE'S DEAD!
Liz breaks down in tears. Sniffer turns to Kwong for
reassurance, Kwong grimaces as he turns to Trent.
TRENT
Well?
KWONG
Listen, this is hard for you to take. But that
was a Collector. They help the "Chief Demon"
by collecting something for him, then taking it
back to him. They are the only things that
can freely go in and out of Hell.
TRENT
Hell on you! That doesn't mean I could've have stopped
it.
KWONG
It does. If a Collector is touched by bare flesh
the owner of it is electrocuted by six million volts.
TRENT
Well why wasn't Hannah electrocuted?
PAGE THIRTY-EIGHT
KWONG
Because Hannah wasn't trying to attack him, dummy.
The only thing that can kill them is Rum. It can
also kill bigger Demons.
GONZALEZ (LAUGHING)
RUM! HA HA HA!
Liz runs out of the room. Sniffer goes to grab her
but she's gone.
SNIFFER
GET BACK HERE! DAMN YOU, BITCH!
Sniffer doesn't chase her, it's worthless.
KWONG
Well, Doug, you have to go to Hell kill the Chief
and rescue your sister.
TRENT
Jim, are you coming?
KWONG
No. Only the family of "The One" may go, and
you are "The Chosen One's" brother.
TRENT
Where is this "Portal" to hell.
Kwong pauses.
KWONG
When you reach the roof of your Gunshop or
any place---as long as it only has one or
two floors. Then you must dance the "Oaokey-
pookey" and chant "Waa, waa, waa, waa, waa,
LET ME THE HELL IN".
Trent looks at him.
TRENT
Are you serious?
KWONG
Do I look as if I'm joking? NOW GO!
Trent cocks both of his Desert Eagles and turns
to run.
TRENT
Jim...I'll see you later. One day over the
rainbow.
Trent and Gonzalez shake hands. Maybe the last time
they'll ever see each other. Trent turns, he can't
look at any of the others and charges outside.
PAGE THIRTY-NINE
GONZALEZ
What do we do now?
KWONG
Go our separate ways. Just battle the creatures,
get whatever weapons you can. And we'll all meet
one day...
GONZALEZ (SMIRKING)
...Over the rainbow...
DISSOLVE TO: BLACK
SOUNDTRACK: EVA CASSIDY'S "OVER THE RAINBOW".
NEW YORK STREETS
The Zombies are mainly in view. There are
about fifty or so. Occasionally a surviving
human runs past. ROMEO, comes into frame but
he speeds off.
A vampire or two comes past as well. One of
them gets in a fight with a Zombie and IT IS
NOT a pretty sight.
HOUSING ESTATE
Rolfson and Gonzalez appear. Both of them are
heavily lumbered with things. Rolfson has a large
Rifle and Gonzalez has his Colt Python.
GONZALEZ
What do we do now?
ROLFSON
What can we do, just find somewhere to hole up.
A Zombie GRABS Rolfson by the shoulders. He bites
him on both shoulders Rolfson screams.
ROLFSON
SWEET HOLEY...! AAAGGGHHH!
The Zombie slams him into a brick wall and tries
to gouge his eyes out. Gonzalez grabs the Zombie
and HAULS the creature off him, Rolfson drops
to the ground.
ROLFSON
Uggghhh...
BLAM! Gonzalez shoots the Zombie in the face. He slides
to the ground. As Gonzalez finishes him off Rolfson GRABS
HIS FOOT. Gonzalez turns to him...it's a Rolfson Zombie!
PAGE FORTY
GONZALEZ
Nnooo...
Gonzalez boots his head off.
ROLFSON
Ugh...
Rolfson/Zombie dies. His head rolls down the pavement.
As Gonzalez tearfully loads his gun: TWO VAMPIRES GRAB
HIM! Gonzalez tries to kick them off, but they swing
him backwards...he slides across the floor.
As Gonzalez lands: ROLFSON'S HEAD COMES RIGHT AT HIM.
BLAM! A bullet blows his head apart. Gonzalez ducks
as:
KWONG
Leaps into action, in one hand he has a Revolver and
the other a stake.
Gonzalez takes the Stake O Matic out and they are
ready for action.
But that's the last we see of them for a while.
FADE TO:
TRENT'S GUNSHOP
The cult wander around the gunshop, looking at various
things. But the problem is the remaining six of them
are Zombies. Oh no, there's one more. He's bent over
the bodies of one of the fallen and begins to pluck
away at the remaining skin.
Another Cultist-Zombie bends over with him. One of them
who has badly MUTILATED face grabs a large hunting
dagger in his hands. But it remains limp and useless.
SNIFFER, runs past.
They light up when they see him and inch towards the
door but don't have the "foggiest" how to negotiate
opening it.
Sniffer sees them and waves his middle finger at them,
then he is gone.
STREET OUTSIDE GUNSHOP
We now focus on Trent. The big guy is running with all
his speed. We now see the reason why:
TWENTY-FIVE ZOMBIES ARE ON HIS TRAIL. Trent turns round
and BLAM! BLAM! Shoots one of them twice and he rolls
over onto his back.
PAGE FORTY-ONE
Trent reaches the door and sighs a sigh of relief. The
Zombies tremble on behind him. Trent boots the door open
and enters the:
GUNSHOP
He quickly swerves in and SLAMS the door shut. The Zombies
grotesque faces appear, sandwiched against the window. Trent
turns round and:
A ZOMBIE GRABS HIM. Trent fires both guns again and again,
with each shot he grows more desperate--finally the Zombie
drops. But his guns are now empty.
The Zombie with the knife is next to attack him, it's only
then that Trent appreciates how many Zombies there are. He
flips his guns up and catches each of them by their muzzles.
CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! He beats the Zombie back with their butts.
TRENT
Up yours.
Trent drops the guns then catches the knife, he spins it
over his head and stabs the Zombie. WHHOOOSH! Then he
decapitates it. The remaining five come at him. Trent
steps back to the window--
BANG!
A Zombie hits the window behind him. Trent jumps back
in fright. Finally he realizes that he must fight them.
CLOSE ON: TRENT'S KNIFE.
It swings seven times.
PULL BACK TO THE GUNSHOP.
All five Zombies are decapitated and they CRASH down.
Trent breathes a sigh of relief.
He turns round and bars the door from the Zombies.
They groan and weakly beat on the doors.
TRENT
Fuck you too!
Trent searches the main area for anymore Zombies,
but he's safe--momentarily. Now he must face his
most dangerous opponent. Chief Demon himself.
The big guy heads to a large door.
BACK ROOM
Trent walks into a dark back room. The light comes
on. Nothing. Trent looks to the door leading to the
flat upstairs, low moaning is coming from it.
PAGE FORTY-TWO
SUDDENLY THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN! Trent almost shits
himself, A Cult Member comes out. He has a gun on
Trent.
CULT MEMBER
GET AWAY! GET AWAY!
Trent slams the door and locks it.
TRENT
Prat.
Trent takes a Camouflaged satchel from a shelf.
Then he begins packing for his one (or two)
way trip to Hell.
He takes a flashlight, a brown and black Colt
.25, Ammo (and lots of it), a bottle of Rum,
an army ration box and some matches. Trent
then makes his way to a small rectangular
cabinet.
TRENT
...this is what I made you for, baby...
Trent opens the cabinet and behold a wonderful
weapon contaminates our eyes. Let's call it a...
SUPER SHOTGUN. It has three of the longest,
most slender barrels ever seen. A perfectly polished
butt and it's pump action!
It's a custom made piece that Trent himself made.
Trent pulls it out and opens the catch, he puts
ten Shotgun cartridges in.
TRENT
Yeh, bitch, yeh.
Trent heads through the main area.
GUNSHOP
Trent goes back inside. He grabs a sheathed Machete
that lies under the counter, he straps it on and
grabs boxes and boxes of Shotgun ammo. They all go in,
Trent straps the super shotgun on and all is ready.
CUT TO:
FIRESTAIRS
Our hero comes up the fiery Orange stairs. He lands
on the roof. As he reaches the middle:
TRENT
Oooooh what a prat I feel.
(CHANTS)
Waa, waa, waa, waa, LET ME THE HELL
IN!
PAGE FORTY-THREE
Nothing, Trent cusses. SUDDENLY A HUGE BLUE MIST SETS
AROUND HIM. Trent's face opens up in shock, large green
winged creatures grab both his arms, as the mist goes
round him Trent is knocked from side to side.
Trent finds himself going down, both of the Creatures
grab and pull at him, lets call them...WINGDINGS.
TRENT
AAAAAGGGGGHHH!
Soon the mist disappears and Trent's body is gone.
HELL
Trent appears in hell, now. Flames and dark mysterious
caves greet him. He pulls himself up, the Wingdings have
gone for now. But I guess they'll be back. Trent looks
around. He's been so far now, he can't give up...can he?
Trent takes the huge flashlight from the satchel and clicks
it on. He can see clearer now. Our hero then takes the
Super Shotgun out. He pumps it. Then puts his fingers on
all three triggers. Finally, he clips the flashlight to his
belt.
TRENT
Satan you arsehole where are you?
CHIEF'S AREA
Chief Demon and LIEUTENANT ZOOR (New Vampire king,
seven foot, long hair, a bad ass) are watching
Damon's progress on the T.V screen, he is smashing
cars and beating up people.
TRENT (V.O)
Satan, you arsehole where are you?
DEMON CHIEF
Who the hell...?
He presses a button on the monitor and a screen
showing Trent appears. Chief groans. As they
watch, HANNAH, who is chained to a pole behind
them, she sees Trent and squeals in joy.
DEMON CHIEF
What? Oh for the love of my hairy ass, it's him.
And you can shut up, Earth girl, you must disown
your family---as you will marry me!
HANNAH
Oh no I won't...
DEMON CHIEF
PAGE FORTY-FOUR
Oh yes you will...
HANNAH
Oh no I won't...
DEMON CHIEF
Oh yes you w...oh for hell's sake, Graves...
GRAVES, an Orc knocks Hannah out. Demon Chief
laughs.
LONG CAVE
Trent waves his flashlight down a long, brooding
corridor. TORTURED SOULS are chained up against
the walls. Various curses are written on the wall
In blood.
TORTURED SOUL#1
HAVE YOU COME TO SAVE US?
Trent looks, horrified, from side to side. The Tortured
souls are all bloody and scary. They reach out at pluck
at his clothing, Trent breaks free but almost trips over
a pile of crushed intestine.
TRENT
GET OFF! GET OFF!
TORTURED SOULS
WE NEED YOUR BODY TO ESCAPE IN...WE NEED IT...NEED IT...
Trent breaks free and rushes across to the other side.
As he relaxes, BANG, a large bloody hand grabs him.
Trent spins round another Tortured soul has hold of
him. His forked tongue comes out ready to suck
Trent's brains out.
Trent draws the MACHETE and swings it in a heavy upward
arc the Tortured soul's head and a litre of blood goes
flying. Trent hears a loud sucking noise. He turns round.
What he sees is a cross between a gory Bulldog and a tortured
human, it laps up the blood then looks up at him for more.
It's like that thing off the end of the 1970's remake of
"THE INVASION OF THE BODY-SNATCHERS".
TRENT
Holy crap!
TORTURED SOUL
Oh...oh...I feel it...it's coming, faces on the wall,
deadly speeches rifling through. Women who kill with
a thought...it's near...RUFF...RUFF...RUFF..KILL KILL!
Trent draws his Colt.25 out, cocks it and aims it right at the
Tortured soul's head. As it continues to chant--BLAM! He gets it in one.
The dog monster jumps at his feet and licks his hand, Trent screams.
As he backs away the Dog/monster barks and rolls over wagging
its tail. Trent turns and runs. The dog barks behind him.
LARGE ROUND AREA
From the end of the cave he comes to a large round sacrificing
area which has hundreds of different caves leading to various
places.
PAGE FORTY-FIVE
A few dead bodies lie at the four corners of the circle and
one in the middle. Trent curses as he walks one GRAB his
leg.
TRENT
OOOOF! OOOOYAAHHH!
Trent falls on his ass, but he gets up. BOOOMF! BOOMF! BOOMF!
The bastard gets the first three rounds of the Super Shotgun.
Trent pumps and it reloads. The body is dead (again).
Trent looks at the cave entrances, one reads "CHIEF'S HOME".
Our hero shrugs and heads into it.
TUNNEL TO CHIEF'S HOME
Trent is glad to see that there are no Tortured Souls chained
up on the walls. BUT THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE THE ONE OF THE ROOF
which snatches at him. Trent rolls out of the way.
TORTURED SOUL
Let me suck your brains...
The Tortured Soul's chains suddenly SNAP and he flops onto
the ground. Trent gasps as the bloody thing runs at him.
CRASH! His fist connects with the Tortured Soul's eye
socket and the areshole momentarily stops. Trent lops
his head off with the Machete.
TORTURED SOUL
You bitch...
His head grows legs and he scuttles at him.
TRENT
Oh, be original. Don't copy Norris off the Thing.
The head latches onto Trent's face, but Trent brings
the Machete up and impales it through its back, he
pulls the sword back with the head-monster still on
it wiggling. WHOOOM! It shoots a jet of green acid at
him.
Trent dives out of the way and the Acid splats on the
wall.
HELL-CHIEF'S AREA
Chief Demon grabs a large radio.
CHIEF DEMON
ROMEO! ROMEO! We got an intruder, "The one's"
Brother is coming. Leave your army and come back
Here.
PAGE FORTY-SIX
HELL-THE TUNNEL
Trent brings the Machete in a defensive position
and the Head leaps at him, Trent swings it but both
of them miss each other.
HEAD
BRING IT ON, POSTBOX HEAD.
Two razor-sharp drill-like claws come from the Head's
ears, Trent leaps out of the way and they destroy the
wall next to him. Trent kicks the head back down the tunnel.
The head's claw catches his boot and Trent falls on his
ass, as he regains composure it lands on his head. Trent
wildly spins round and the idiot falls off his head. Trent
grabs both Desert Eagles out of their holsters and with the
laser scopes he gets the creature in shot.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! The head is splattered all over the wall.
TRENT
PRICK!
CHIEF DEMON'S AREA
As he does an autopsy on a new arrival ROMEO, teleports
himself there. He slaps a hi-5 with Zoor.
ROMEO
Whoa! It's great down there! All hell's broke
loose!
CHIEF DEMON
Ha. Ha. I know, Damon's just arrived and we're gonna
go down there in a moment, we just need to exterminate
an intruder.
ROMEO (MEANING HANNAH)
Are you gonna sacrifice her?
CHIEF DEMON
I'm gonna marry her.
Romeo nods and laughs.
A LOUD CLICK! Trent is behind them with the Super Shotgun.
Chief Demon turns to him and chuckles.
TRENT
ALL OF YOU! HANDS UP! KISS THE FLOOR OR KISS GOODBYE.
Chief Demon laughs, the big ape-monster grabs the gun and
throws it on the floor. Then he continues laughing.
TRENT
PAGE FORTY-SEVEN
BOLLOCKS! So you're Satan?
CHIEF DEMON
Call me Chief Demon, that's my "Earth name".
This is George Romeo, Zombie king and Lieutenant
Zoor, the new Vampire King. That's Lieutenant
Orcus and that's my wife and your sister. Oh brother
in law.
Trent is appalled.
TRENT
You gotta be kiddin' me.
CHIEF DEMON
Sorry, no, I hate -in-laws. LEATHER!
A loud revving noise, Trent turns round. A large
stainless steel grate pops open. LEATHERFACE comes
out with a huge yellow Chainsaw.
TRENT
Oh, c'mon, how unfair!
Leatherface roars and charges at Trent, Trent leaps
into the air. Leatherface misses him but on the second
swing he accidentally impales a watching Orc into the
wall.
Trent kicks Leatherface in the shin but this almost
makes the maniac ever madder. He brings the Chainsaw
down on Trent, it roars into his shoulder.
But luckily our hero manages to roll out of the way
in time.
CHIEF DEMON
He's good, Rory, Todd...
Two Wingdings come at Trent. Trent kicks one on the
end of the nose and dives from the others. Leatherface
swings the roaring, mad Chainsaw at him. Trent kicks him
constantly in the ribs.
The Wingdings float round Trent, one of their beaks tears
the satchel strap and it rolls off him.
TRENT
Bastard...grrr...
Trent kicks the Wingding and dives for the shotgun;
Zoor kicks it away from him. Trent suddenly remembers
THE MACHETE.
He decapitates one Wingding and the other accidentally
ploughs into Leatherface, Leather madly murders it, when
he turns back to Trent. SPLAT: Trent's Machete is in his
head.
PAGE FORTY-EIGHT
Leatherface stares at it for a second in mad pain. Trent
smiles and boots him in the stomach. Leatherface falls off
it. As Trent turns Leatherfaces Chainsaw REVS up, he somehow
swings round after a few seconds and DECAPITATES Leatherface.
Leatherface's head is still alive, as it comes for Trent:
SCHWAAANG! He cuts it in half, and with the handle SQUASHES
one side into the wall, then slices the other into another
half.
TRENT
The Hell Machete Massacre, I like, I like.
Trent holds the Machete ready for the next wave of attackers.
Romeo touches a button and a door opens up behind Trent.
Four zombies come at him, as Trent watches him Romeo punches
him from behind--Trent rolls into the Zombies' grip.
DEMON CHIEF
HA! HA! HA! HA! Suck on that.
Rolfson enters.
DEMON CHIEF
Hey, Damon.
Trent watches horrified as Rolfson transforms into a large
Damon. So it was him all along!!
TRENT
Ogh!
Zoor grabs him and tries to bite him, THWHIP! Trent's
machete pierces through his heart. As Zoor's corpse slides
off it the Zombies grab at Trent's foot. He BOOTS one and
breaks its nose.
Trent fires his Super Shotgun wildly, three shots riddle
through two of the Zombies, he pumps it and shoots at
Romeo, but one of Romeo's Zombie scums stands in the way
and is blow away.
Romeo jumps on Trent's back and smashes his head into the
wall. Zoor painfully gets up.
ROMEO
DIE SHIT PANTS!
He tries to break Trent's neck and eats him, but Trent
smashes the butt of the Shotgun into his head, in all
the action the Super Shotgun falls from Trent's hands.
ZOOR
I need a strong one...
He grabs some blood from the dead Leatherface and laps
it up happily. Demon Chief watches desperately, Hannah
hovers in and out of consciousness.
Trent wrestles wildly with Romeo.
TRENT
This is unfair, there's no one on my side.
PAGE FORTY-NINE
DAMON
Boo. Hoo. Hoo.
Trent kicks Romeo off him and leaps forwards, everyone
thinks he's going for Damon but he rolls down towards
his satchel, he unzips it and sticks his hand in but;
Romeo pulls him backwards.
Trent has managed to get the ration box (the only thing
he could grab. He SAVEGELY BEATS Romeo over the head
with it, Romeo's huge fist punches it and the small case
breaks in half.
Trent dives for a small blue sachet, as he grabs it Romeo
pulls him backwards, Trent goes flying.
ROMEO
Zoor, help!
Zoor leans over and kicks Trent in the side, Trent screams.
Romeo starts to laugh his head off. But he ain't laughing
when Trent rips open the small blue sachet.
ROMEO
SALT!
TRENT
Yeh, now where's your Voodoo Zombie bullshit?
I bet you didn't know that's what Zombie's are
allergic to...
Trent pours it in his screaming mouth and eyeball,
Zoor and Trent throw themselves away from his bursting
and exploding body. Trent goes up in smoke and little
Zombie pieces.
ZOOR (CRYING)
Rommy! Roomy! (Turns on Trent)
YOU COCKSUCKING SON OF A BITCH, YOU'LL GET YOURS
NOW! YOU ONLY WENT AND KILLED ROMEO!
TRENT (COCKY)
Yeh, well tell me when you toughen up a
bit.
DAMON/CHIEF DEMON
Romeo, hell...no...
CHIEF DEMON
I've known him for years! Oh, how
could he have died! That's outa control.
Zoor's fangs grow to huge lengths, he looks like a
sabretooth. Two batmen and Lieutenant Orcus
appear behind Trent, as Trent prepares for action all
three grab him from behind!
TRENT
AAAGGGGHHH!
PAGE FIFTY
The creatures drag Trent to a large spike and try to
shove his head on it. Trent kicks and screams.
SPLAT! Zoor accidentally treads on a fallen sachet of
army ration ketchup and the red stuff lands in Lt.
Orcus' eye. Trent is dropped right next to the spike.
Zoor runs at Trent.
Trent looks from the spike then to Zoor, he only has one
chance---he grabs the Spike, wretches it out from the
ground and RAMS it into Zoor's heart.
ZOOR
AAGH!
Zoor falls backwards bleeding, Trent whips the Spike
out of him and swings it---it takes out both batmen.
Orcus rolls round the floor crying and trying to get
the ketchup from his eye.
As Trent turns to the others Zoor leaps on his
back, he beats at Trent's head and knocks him to
the floor. The spike goes flying and SHOOTS right
into Damon. Damon dies instantly.
TRENT (PAINFULLY)
STEEERIKE!
DAMON
DAD! OOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGHHHH!
CHIEF DEMON
Damon...oh...I will not rest until your killer is
gone. (Cries).
The Chief Demon weeps for the first time.
Zoor smashes Trent with his fists, Trent slides across
the floor bloody and battered. He painfully lands in a
heap in the corner. Zoor continually kicks him into the
ribs and TRENT DIES.
ZOOR
It's okay, he's dead. A few of my deadly punches
and no weak human can survive.
The remaining Monsters regroup. There's the Demon
Chief, who holds and weeps over his dead son Damon,
Zoor, Lieutenant Orcus and two Orcs.
ORC#1
Weak human scum. He. he. He. Now the
apocalypse can start.
BLAM! A bullet whacks into Orc#1, he smashes against
the wall extremely dead.
VOICE (V.O)
Try this human.
PAGE FIFTY-ONE
KWONG, steps into frame.
CHIEF DEMON
KWONG! You're one of us...you can't kill us...
we're the same, brother.
Kwong shoots the Chief in the arm, the ape leaps back.
KWONG
I was your brother a few thousand years ago, but
I'm not now you treacherous scum.
Kwong shoots him in the stomach. Chief backs away.
Zoor quietly slips a small knife out of a sheath.
IN THE SAME SPLIT SECOND: Zoor leaps forward and
and stabs Kwong in the throat, Kwong collapses to
the floor, his dying eyes shot to where Trent lies
dead, with his dying grip he manages to heal Trent.
Trent leaps onto Zoor's back, slamming him to the wall.
Kwong falls dead, his eyes catch with Chief's and
Trent's, in his last second of life Kwong winks.
Zoor turns to kill Trent, but when he sees what's
in his hand he screams. Trent has a Crucifix.
TRENT
YEH, GO TO HELL, SCROTUM-SUCKER.
Trent shoves the crucifix into Zoor's screaming
mouth.
ZOOR EXPLODES IN A MILLION PIECES. BLOOD SPLATTERS
TRENT. Lt. Orcus whimpers and races off as does Orc#2.
CHIEF DEMON
Die, human, I don't know what made you go like this
but you're out now.
TRENT
Get it right, you are.
Trent shoves the cross in Chief's face, he squeals.
FLASHBACK
KWONG (V.O)
The only thing that can kill them is Rum. It can
also kill bigger Demons.
BACK TO:
Trent goes for his bag, as he drops the cross the chief
runs at him, but he gets a face full of rum. The horrible
ape-Demon-chief falls back, the Rum burns through his face.
TRENT
PAGE FORTY-TWO
Nancy boy can't take his likker'?
Trent takes a healthily swig and pours more on him.
TRENT
A toast to your death.
Chief Demon falls back dying.
CHIEF DEMON (LAST WORDS)
Yeh, well, you may've killed us and stopped the bloody
Apocalypse but this place is gonna explode in...twenty
seconds. So you can go to hell!
Trent grabs the Super Shotgun and shoots him dead.
Sure enough the walls begin to shake, Trent whimpers.
He grabs his gun, crucifix, satchel and Machete then
races over to Hannah.
HANNAH (WEAK)
Oh Douglas...
Trent slices her ropes free and she falls on him.
As Chief's last words ring in his ears Trent RUNS,
Hannah in one hand, equipment in the other.
SHOTS OF: HELL EXPLODING AND GOING DOWN IN FLAMES.
SACRIFICING SPOT
Trent, with superhuman speed, reaches this round
circle. He starts the chant.
TRENT
Waa, waa, waa, waa. GET ME THE HELL OUTA HERE.
As the Wingdings carry Hannah and Trent out.
ALL OF HELL BLOWS UP, IN ONE FATAL NAPALM LIKE SWOOP.
CUT TO:
NEW YORK, NEW YORK.
All of the Zombies and Vampires, they slowly begin turning
back into the real people. The Earth's buildings begin
to rebuild. Gonzalez, who has found Liz, watches this spectacle.
Trent and Hannah stand in the middle of the street, watching
the new sun dawn. He hugs her.
HANNAH
Doug, I'm glad I got a brother like you.
PAGE FIFTY-THREE
TRENT
Sorry about the baby...and Rio...
HANNAH
Ah well, I'd rather have no son or boyfriend than the
Devil's son and an Alien boyfriend.
Gonzalez and Liz join them. Trent hugs him and Hannah
hugs Liz.
GONZALEZ
I was right about over the rainbow...
Gonzalez points to the rainbow which goes over the sun.
GONZALEZ
I thought Kwong went to join you?
TRENT
He did, but his "brother" killed him.
GONZALEZ
Bollocks man, shit, he was a demon.
TRENT
A good one.
GONZALEZ
Ah, well, I'm gonna go get pissed.
TRENT/LIZ/HANNAH
Ditto on that.
HANNAH
Oh, it's Christmas Eve today!
We watch as families are reunited, lovers and
their lovers, girls and boys, families and pets,
Dogs and cats, etc.
Gonzalez takes a shortcut through Central Park
to the nearest bar.
Cortez rushes over to him. He grabs Gonzalez by
the shirt and wildly hugs his friend, Gonzalez
pushes him off. He grimaces after Cortez' wild
Bear hug.
Trent and Liz have cleared off to have some fun
together and Hannah has gone back to her flat to
rest, it's been a real long day...
CORTEZ
Man! I love you, I thought I was the only one
alive at one stage...wheww.
GONZALEZ
Tell me about it over a beer.
PAGE FIFTY-FOUR
Gonzalez turns back round to look for the others,
but they've decided to go their separate ways as
I said.
CORTEZ
Where's Rolfson?
Gonzalez grunts.
GONZALEZ' FLASHBACK
EVENTS STAGED EARLIER:
(Can be played in fast motion, but there's no point).
Gonzalez and Rolfson are walking down the housing
Estate.
GONZALEZ
What do we do now?
ROLFSON
What can we do, just find somewhere to hole up.
A Zombie GRABS Rolfson by the shoulders. He bites
him on both shoulders Rolfson screams.
ROLFSON
SWEET HOLEY...! AAAGGGHHH!
The Zombie slams him into a brick wall and tries
to gouge his eyes out. Gonzalez grabs the Zombie
and HAULS the creature off him, Rolfson drops
to the ground.
ROLFSON
Uggghhh...
BLAM! Gonzalez shoots the Zombie in the face. He slides
to the ground. As Gonzalez finishes him off Rolfson GRABS
HIS FOOT. Gonzalez turns to him...it's a Rolfson Zombie!
GONZALEZ
No...
Gonzalez boots his head off.
ROLFSON
Ugh...
Rolfson/Zombie dies. His head rolls down the pavement.
As Gonzalez tearfully loads his gun: TWO VAMPIRES GRAB
HIM! Gonzalez tries to kick them off, but they swing
him backwards...he slides across the floor.
As Gonzalez lands: ROLFSON'S HEAD COMES RIGHT AT HIM.
BLAM! A bullet blows his head apart.
PAGE FIFTY-FIVE
END FLASHBACK
BACK TO:
Cortez and Gonzalez. We make out as if Gonzalez just told
Cortez this.
GONZALEZ
...And well, he was dead. Zombies which have been killed
don't come back.
CORTEZ
Yeh, Rolfson was a good guy, death's so stale.
Gonzalez and Cortez head the full way across the
park. Finally they got a boozy, rowdy Public Bar.
CUT TO:
NEW YORK STREETS
Just like the start of the movie, we're now in the plain
maybe even, BORING street. Compared to how it was Christmas
Eve, eve. As we watch a large old Taxi stops, a heavy black
man wearing a "Priest's jacket" gets out. A man who looks
suspiciously like Sniffer follows suit.
Is that Kwong? No, it can't be...but it sure looks like him,
in fact very like him...but the man and his accomplice have
disappeared already. Y'know, I bet it was him...HANNAH'S
VOICE narrates for us.
HANNAH TRENT (V.O)
(Narrating)
Well, the story ended happily I guess maybe it
didn't in always...
SHOT OF:
The weak spirit of CHIEF DEMON (THE DEVIL) floating
around trying to scare people but they just kick
him away.
BACK TO:
NEW YORK STREET
HANNAH TRENT (V.O)
I suppose I learnt a lot from the weird adventure.
If you'd have asked me what an Orc or Zombie was
quite frankly I wouldn't know at all. Now I know
how to kill them. Doug was my real night
in shining armour, and that sure paid off for him:
CUT TO:
A HUGE GUNSHOP
We're in a huge two storey Gunshop. A large picture
PAGE FIFTY-SIX
hangs on the wall with Trent's picture on it.
Everything from huge 50. calibres to Derringers litter
the place. Trent walks in, looking very rich.
BACK TO:
NEW YORK STREETS
HANNAH TRENT (V.O)
And it did for others too...
CUT TO:
BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO STORE
Gonzalez stands next to ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGER
(Or some other big action-star). Behind them
is a huge cardboard cut out of the film which
was made of the events.
On the bottom a title reads "APOCALYPSE-
THE TERROR". Scwarzenneger is in the cut out
he is meant to be Trent, but looks more like
THE TERMINATOR.
Gonzalez stands next to him holding a gun.
BACK TO:
NEW YORK STREETS
HANNAH TRENT (V.O)
Yep, and like when Kennedy was assassinated, every-
one will remember where they were when the day
the world began to end on New York...We're safe
now right?....I'll leave that for you to decide.
FADE OUT SLOWLY, BIT BY BIT.
THE END
Shines up on our screen.
PAGE FIFTY-SEVEN
If you have any questions, queries or anything then
Contact the author at thegoose_888@hotmail.com.
Yeh, baby.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
HANNAH TRENT. 22. A pretty young blonde who is unwittingly
impregnated with Satan's child. As you may imagine she isn't
best pleased when she finds out this news, but tough.
Who could play her: Zooey Deschanle.
DOUGLAS TRENT. 24, 6'4, you get the picture big
guy who you don't wanna mess with. Although rather
aloof at times, Trent makes a great hero although
really he only wants to save his kid sister.
Who could play him: The Rock would look cool as him.
CHIEF DEMON (SATAN). Millions of years old. A
tight bastard who's only wish is for real power.
Soon his time will come. He hopes...but the Trents
may have other plans...
Who should voice him: Garry Oldman.
DAMON. ???. Satan's son, he doesn't really know what's
going on he's just sent down to Earth and is prepared for
the Armageddon.
Who could voice him: Chris O'Donnell.
FATHER JACK KWONG. 40's. A huge black priest who has
dedicated his life to hunting Demons and the occult.
One a drunk washed-out cop, now he's a Priest and leads
his own Vampire-hunting Cult. But a deep dark family
secret may bring him down.
Who could play him: Samuel L. Jackson.
JAMES "JIMMY" GONZALEZ. 20's. A wiry and cocky tough as
nails cop. Doug Trent's best friend and the only man
he can trust. A sympathetic but rather trying Joker.
Who could play him: Me! or David Arquette.
MIGUEL ROLFSON. 32. Gonzalez' partner and a real
genuine honest guy. Could pull easily, but is gay.
Rolfson has tried many times to make a pass at Gonzalez,
but Jim is straight so they don't always get on.
Who could play him: Hank Azaria or Jason Statham.
LEE "SNIFFER" CHONG. 22. Kwong's Segundo, he is a
crucial member of the team and is able to sniff out
a Vampire from three miles away. Has a knowledge of
most bladed weapons.
Who could play him: Marlon Wayans.
VARIOUS CULT MEMBERS: Including Grady and
Casey.
PAGE FIFTY-EIGHT
LIZ HASSELHOFF. 20's. Hannah's colleague secretary.
TRAILERS----CINEMA TRAILER
At the start, we get Trent going through the dark
room with the torch and the Tortured Soul saying:
Oh...oh...I feel it...it's coming, faces on the wall,
deadly speeches rifling through. Women who kill with
a thought...it's near...RUFF...RUFF...RUFF..KILL KILL!
PAGE FIFTY-NINE
Then we see a few shots of the fight between Sullivan
And Trent. Then we get Hannah's chest-burst dream scene.
Gonzalez' voice is in the b.g: "They're coming!". We
Get shots of: Kwong and Trent kicking doors down really
Fast, then it all ends with Casey's wacky transformation.
We then fade to a Narrator saying: "THE END". And the
Last shot is one which ain't in the film with Gonzalez
And Hannah opening a door and Gonzalez shouting
"Oh, no, It's horrible" and Chief Demon and Damon appearing
in a creepy hallway.
T.V/DVD/VIDEO TRAILER
At the start the Narrator says: "Did you ever wonder
How Armageddon would start, and who would end it?".
A sickening shot of Leatherface and Trent's battle.
As we hear a heart beating, we see Gonzalez killing
The Rolfson zombie.
Then a shot which ain't in the movie of Trent and
Kwong watching a huge horde of Zombies appear.
Then Trent kicking the door open with the super
Shotgun. Then a four-square view on the screen.
In one square Rolfson and Gonzalez standing looking
Horrified at something. The other, Trent standing after
Killing Zoor, Kwong and Sniffer attacking McGillian and
Finally Liz watching Hannah screaming. We then get a
Shot of Grady being decapitated, then it all ends with
The title WHACKING onto our screen and a Zombie biting
At it. After that we see Chief Demon burping.
PAGE SIXTY
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