This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. 
This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express 
written permission of the author.

Slackers & Pyros

Copyright © 2003 Andy Newton
Andyan@aol.com


INT. WILL'S ROOM-DAY

Will and Andy are sitting across from each other on the floor of Will's 
bedroom.  Except Andy is sitting on a blowup chair.  Andy and Will 
are in their mid-teens.  They're both slackers, but Will is much 
messier than Andy.  Andy is fat and blonde, while Will is thin and has 
messy brown hair.  Will's room is small and disarrayed.  The Crack 
the Case game is in the middle of the two.  Andy is holding a Jabba 
the Hut doll in his hands, examining it.  We start at black.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I don't know sometimes man...

FADE IN:
		
		ANDY 
	Do you think you could turn this into a bong?
		
		WILL
	Sure, it's already hollowed out for you.  Just cut 
	off the head and the tail.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, I guess you could.

Will picks up the game clipboard as Andy starts playing with some 
Power Ranger toy.
		
		WILL
	So what do you think happened?
		
		ANDY
	(still playing with toys)
	I don't know, I give up, just tell me.
		
		WILL
	Okay. 
	(starts to read off the clipboard)
	The Solution: Barbara actually doesn't exist, 
	she's one of Bill's suicidal personalities.  When 
	the next door neighbor smelled something 
	strange, they called the cops.  When the cops 
	got there the cops found Bill, dead, and with a 
	gun to his head.  The police later concluded that 
	it was his multiple personality disorder that was 
	the cause for his demise.

Will puts down the clipboard and looks at Andy.
		
		WILL
	So what do you think?
		
		ANDY
	I think that the writers for this game were 
	running out of ideas towards the end. 
		
		WILL
	Yeah, it seems that way.

Andy picks up the Power Ranger robot monster.
		
		ANDY
	You think you could make a bong out of this?
		
		WILL
	Sure, you can make a bong out of pretty much 
	anything.
		
		ANDY
	Cool.

Freeze frame on Andy.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Hey everyone, I'm Andy's inner monologue.  I'll 
	serve as the main character's two sense supplier 
	and I'll also serve as the narrator for this flick.
			
			CUT TO:

Freeze frame of Will.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	That's Will Blase, but he's not really gonna play 
	a key role in this little story of mine...You know 
	what, I actually have no idea why I'm showing 
	you this.  You guys must be confused as hell.  
	Lets skip forward about four hours.
			
			CUT TO:

A freeze frame of Andy doing some disco dancing in front of Will's 
computer.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Yeah, you really don't need to see this either.  
	How bout we just skip to a shot of me doing a 
	cool shot?
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is strutting down the street with Stayin' Alive as the 
background music.  We do this while getting dynamic shots of Andy 
strutting.  It goes on like this for a little bit.  Then we freeze the 
frame.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Oh yeah...that's nice.  Now if we could just skip 
	forward to the next morning, then I would be as 
	right as rain.

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM-DAY

His room is small and simple, with a desk in the corner covered in 
papers, folders, books, movies, and nick nacks.  He's lying in bed with 
his comforter over him, and his hands behind his head.  He's wearing 
his usual flannel pajamas.  He moans as he does his wake up slither.  
Then with his eyes still closed, he sticks one of his hands under the 
comforter to scratch "himself".  After that's done he gets out of bed, 
and picks the crust out of his eyes while he walks out of the room 
and down the hallway.

INT.  HALLWAY-DAY

The hallway walls are covered with pictures.  Andy opens the door to 
his room and starts to walk down the hallway.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	As a great writer once wrote: SSDD.  Same Shit, 
	Different Day.

Andy turns and looks into the dirty bathroom.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Going to the bathroom in my house is always a 
	gamble.
			
			CUT TO:

A sweep across the bathroom floor as Andy talks.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	With a moist, sticky floor, and a post masturbate 
	stench; you can't help but wonder what part of 
	the bathroom floor is safe to walk on.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy standing in the doorway. 
		
		ANDY
	(looks at the camera)
	I think I'll hold it.

INT. LIVINGROOM-DAY

The livingroom ceiling forms into a sort of triangle.  The livingroom 
is half marble floor and half sunk in room with carpet.  In the sunk in 
part are some chairs and couches, all from the same set.  All in all 
the 
livingroom looks like it should belong in a cabin somewhere in the 
snowy mountains.  Andy walks across his living room and stops in the 
middle.
		
		ANDY
	(looking at the camera)
	I say SSDD because when you live in a town like 
	Pinole, it's true.  For those of you who are not 
	familiar with Pinole, I'll tell you about it. 

Two stage hands come onto screen, one of them brings in a pull down 
map on a stand.  He sets it down and walks off.  The other is holding 
a pointer stick and has a sign around his neck that reads: "Hi Mom!"  
He gives the pointer to Andy and then walks off.
		
		ANDY
	Okay. 
	(Andy pulls down the map of the 
	western United States.  Then he points 
	to the Northern Californian city of 
	Pinole)
	You can't see Pinole on this map because it's too 
	suburban of a city, but it's somewhere in this 
	area. 
	(sweeps the pointer in circles)
	Pinole is a  suburban Northern Californian city.  
	Pinole has a population of about 19,000 people.  
	With its lushes parks; great houses; and a low 
	crime level, Pinole is an ideal place to raise a 
	family.  Hence, me living here.  Now that you're 
	up to speed, let's get on with the story.

Andy rests the pointer against the map stand, and walks out of frame.

INT. KITCHEN-DAY

You get into the kitchen from the den.  There's an electric stove and 
oven with a big fridge/freezer and a microwave in a niche in the 
corner.  There's also a bar that leads from the kitchen to the 
livingroom, good for eating meals at.  Andy walks into his kitchen.  
He opens the refrigerator and freezer at the same time.  He scans 
them both, then he closes them.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Another morning, another boy deprived of an 
	easy made breakfast.  

He opens the fridge again and pulls out a carton of eggs and a 
kielbasa in a ziplock bag.  He then puts them next to the stove.  Then 
he pulls out a frying pan, a dish of butter, and a bowl.  He then 
proceeds to making scrambled eggs with slices of kielbasa in it.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	With today's technology we should be able to 
	cook eggs instantly, or boil water in three 
	seconds.  But I guess that the only people that 
	would want to figure it out are too busy eating.

He turns off the stove, lifts up the frying pan, and pours the eggs 
onto a plate, cleans his mess, and then walks into the den.  

INT. DEN-DAY

It's a small den with a TV stand in the bottom corner of the room.  
Everything in the room revolves around the TV.  There is a love seat 
and a regular couch, both with matching seat covers.  The big couch 
has a coffee table in front of it that has lasted some wear and tear.  
Andy walks into the den and sits down at the coffee table.  He turns 
on the TV and starts to eat his breakfast.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I would make an omelette, but I'm too paranoid.  
	You see my brain always jumps to the worst 
	possible scenario for everything.  So whenever I 
	want to make an omelette I change my mind 
	right before I flip it because I'm afraid I'm 
	gonna have a huge mess and be deprived of a 
	good breakfast.  It's safer just to have the next 
	best thing, if you're not sure you can supply the 
	best.  But's that's just me.

Andy's mom walks into the room.  It's obvious that she just woke up.
		
		MOM
	Hey Andy.
		
		ANDY
	Hey mom.
		
		MOM
	Eggs?
		
		ANDY
	Yep.
		
		MOM
	How many did you make?
		
		ANDY
	Three.
		
		MOM
	Hmm.

Andy's mom walks off as Andy rolls his eyes.  
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Don't ask.

Andy picks up the remote, changes the channel, and keeps eating for 
a little bit.  Then Andy's older brother, Matt, walks in.  He's in his 
pajamas.  He sits down on another couch.  Andy chuckles and points 
at the TV screen.
		
		MATT
	What?

Andy tilts his head towards the TV screen.
		
		MATT
	(annoyed)
	What?!
		
		ANDY
	Look.
			
			CUT TO:

The TV screen.  On the TV screen is the discovery channel.  On the 
discovery channel is a show about Red Footed Boobies.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy and Matt on their couches.
		
		MATT
	What is it?
		
		ANDY
	It's a show about Red Footed Boobies.
		
		MATT
	So.
		
		ANDY
	Boobies.
		
		MATT
	What?
		
		ANDY
	You know boobies...breasts.
		
		MATT
	spssh. 
	(shakes his head)
		
		ANDY
	Hey it's funny, and you know it. 
		
		MATT
	You know what?  Didn't ask.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I know that was silly and retarded, but that's 
	how I am sometimes.  Maturity is overrated.

Andy picks up his plate, walks into the kitchen, and puts it in the 
dishwasher.  Then he starts to walk back to his room.

INT. LIVINGROOM-DAY
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I'm not sure what I'm gonna do today.  Maybe I 
	can go downtown with Will.  Who knows, maybe 
	I'll just stay at his house and fuck with his dog.  
	Don't take that too literally, I don't swing that 
	way.

Andy walks into the hallway.
			
			FADE TO:

Andy walking out of the hallway fully dressed in a T-shirt and jeans.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	For those of you who can't keep up, I just took a 
	shower.  But instead of showing you that, I just 
	skipped ahead.  Yep, if everything goes 
	according to plan then you won't see me 
	shirtless this whole movie.

Andy walks back into the den.

INT. DEN-DAY

Andy goes to the phone.  He dials a number and waits there.
		
		WILL (VO)
	(exhausted)
	Hello?
		
		ANDY
	Hey Will, did I wake you?
		
		WILL (VO)
	Yeah, kinda.
		
		ANDY
	Well you sleep in too late.
		
		WILL (VO)
	What time is it?
		
		ANDY
	Nine.
		
		WILL (VO)
	Jesus Christ, man!
		
		ANDY
	Ah, don't be a baby.
		
		WILL (VO)
	So what do you want to do?
		
		ANDY
	Want to go downtown?
		
		WILL (VO)
	Like the song?
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, like the song.

EXT. DOWNTOWN PINOLE-DAY

It's sunny today in Pinole.  There are hills in the distance, trees, 
and 
nice little shops along the sidewalks.  Andy and Will are holding hands 
and skipping down the street to the tune of Downtown.
			
			CUT TO:

Outside a convenience store.(downtown music still playing)  Will and 
Andy walk out the door with two huge plastic bags.  Andy reaches in 
the bag and pulls out a handful of candy.  Will and Andy start to 
laugh.
			
			CUT TO:

Fernandez Park (downtown music still playing).  Will is standing at 
the end of a tunnel slide.  All of a sudden Andy comes flying out of 
the slide.  He sits up and laughs.
			
			CUT TO:

The swing set (downtown music still playing).  Will and Andy are on 
the swings, laughing hysterically.
			
			CUT TO:

A street (downtown music still playing).  Andy and Will come onto 
screen, riding on a double bike.  They stop the bike, look at the 
camera, give the camera a thumbs up, and then they wink.
			
			DISSOLVE TO:

Andy and Will walking down the street (downtown music not playing 
anymore).  Andy and WIll are holding the bags full of candy.  You can 
see their mouths moving up and down, chomping on some candy.
		
		ANDY
	Well, that was fun while it lasted.
		
		WILL
	Yeah, what do you want to do now?
		
		ANDY
	I don't know, man.  I spent all my money on 
	candy...Hey here's a man that will know what to 
	do.

Andy and Will walk up to a wooden flower stand.  Sitting behind the 
stand is Kevin, another mid-teen.  He has a gel covered head, baggy 
jeans, and an offensive T-shirt.  There's a sign painted on the stand 
that says Lavender's Lavenders.
		
		ANDY
	Hey Kevin.
		
		KEVIN
	Hey, welcome to Lavender's Lavenders.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Kevin's last name is Lavender, that's why it's 
	funny.
		
		WILL
	Looks like you're having a productive summer.
		
		KEVIN
	Hell yeah, fools, I'm makin' shit loads of money 
	from the flower business.
		
		ANDY
	I've said it before and I'll say it again, Kevo, 
	you're a smart dumbass.
		
		KEVIN
	You better believe it.
		
		WILL
	Where do you get all your flowers?
		
		KEVIN
	I ripped them off some flower shop in San 
	Pablo.  Nice, aren't they?
		
		WILL
	Yeah.  What kinds of flowers do you have.
		
		KEVIN
	I got the works, man.  I got roses, lavenders, 
	petunias, daisies, lilies, orchids...
		
		ANDY
	Looks like you have a wide selection.
		
		WILL
	Yeah, and orchids, those are usually pretty 
	expensive.
		
		KEVIN
	Hell yeah they are, and I'm getting pure profits 
	because of my five finger discounts.
		
		ANDY
	Well it looks like you're well off.
		
		KEVIN
	Yeah, and because you guys are such nice 
	friends, I'm givin' you both a free rose.

Kevin reaches into a flower pot and pulls out two roses.  He then 
hands them to Will and Andy.
		
		ANDY
	Thanks, man.
		
		WILL
	Yeah, thanks.
		
		KEVIN
	Now scram, you're ruinin' business.
		
		ANDY
	Okay, see ya Kevin.
		
		WILL
	Yeah, see ya.

Will and Andy start walking down the street once more.  Andy sniffs 
the flower as he walks.
		
		ANDY
	Ya think Kevin will ever pay for all the petty 
	thefts he does?
		
		WILL
	I don't know, who cares?
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, I guess you're right.
		
		WILL
	Wanna catch some lunch?
		
		ANDY
	I told you, I don't have any money.
		
		WILL
	So, I'll pay for it, I'm loaded.
		
		ANDY
	I don't like borrowing money from people.  Then 
	whenever I'll see you I'll always worry about 
	the money, and what you think about me for it.
		
		WILL
	That's never stopped you before.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, I guess you're right.  Where do you want 
	to go?
		
		WILL
	I don't know, you in the mood for Mexican?
		
		ANDY
	Sure I can go for Mexican.  I might have to take 
	a shit afterwards, though.
		
		WILL
	It's better to leave a shit, than take a shit.  It's 
	less messy.
		
		ANDY
	(nodding)
	Yeah, I see your logic.

INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT-DAY

It's a normal, small, and authentic Mexican restaurant.  There is no 
line, but there are some people eating.  Andy and Will walk into the 
place and look up at the menu board.  Their roses are no in their 
pockets.
		
		LADY AT THE REGISTER
	What would you like today?
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, Quisiere pedir un burrito mojado para 
	llevar, por favor.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Nine years of spanish, now I can get my burrito.
		
		LADY AT THE REGISTER
	Está bien.  ¿Qué tipo de carne y frijoles quiere 
	usted?
		
		ANDY
	Quiero la carne asada y los frijoles refritos.
		
		LADY AT THE REGISTER
	Muy bien. ¿Quiere tomar algo?
		
		ANDY
	Sí, quiero tomar una horchata, por favor.
		
		LADY AT THE REGISTER
	¿Desea algo más?
		
		ANDY
	No, muchas gracias!
		
		LADY AT THE REGISTER
	Igualmente, hasta luego.
		
		ANDY
	Chao.

Andy steps back from the register and moves his hands in a way to 
express "after you".  Will feels awkward as he walks up to the 
register.  There's a pause before he speaks.
		
		WILL
	Yeah, I'll have the same.
		
		LADY AT THE REGISTER
	Okay.

Will hands her the money.
		
		WILL
	Muchas gracias.

The register lady serves them two horchatas. Then Andy and Will 
walk together towards a table.
		
		WILL
	(as they're walking, and in a mumbling 
	whisper)
	Why'd you do that to me.

Andy and Will sit down across from each other at a table.
		
		ANDY
	What're you talking about?
		
		WILL
	"What are you talking about?"  I'm talking about 
	making me look like a fool.
		
		ANDY
	Oh you mean the spanish thing?
		
		WILL
	Yeah, I mean the spanish thing.
		
		ANDY
	I don't see what you're getting so upset about, I 
	didn't make you look bad.

Right then the Lady At The Register walks up to them, and serves 
them two burritos covered in enchilada sauce and melted cheese.
		
		ANDY
	Muchas Gracias, señorita. Usted es muy bonita, 
	señorita . Aquí está un subió para sus 
	problemas.

Andy takes the perfect rose out of his pocket, and hands the rose to 
the Lady At The Register.
		
		LADY AT THE REGISTER
	(enthusiastically)
	Muchas gracias señor.

She walks off.
		
		ANDY
	(there's a pause first)
	Okay, maybe I did make you look a little bad, 
	but who cares, it's not like you're ever gonna 
	see this woman ever again.
		
		WILL
	Yeah...
		
		ANDY
	Plus you always have your babes to fall back on.
		
		WILL
	(almost offended)
	Hey, that was a camp thing!
		
		ANDY
	Don't get mad at me, you're the one who 
	attracts all the weirdos.  Maybe it's because 
	you're a weirdo yourself.
		
		WILL
	Hey, fuck you!
		
		ANDY
	Not even if you let me video tape it.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Sorry, Kevin Smith.
		
		WILL
	(demanding)
	Whatever, just eat your free damn burrito!
		
		ANDY
	I will, and I will enjoy it, too.
		
		WILL
	(says right before stuffing food in his 
	mouth)
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andy cuts a piece off his burrito and shoves in his mouth with a fork.
		
		ANDY
	(with a mouthful of hot food)
	Burrito mojados kick ass.
		
		WILL
	(also with a mouthful of hot food)
	Yeah they do!

EXT. DOWNTOWN PINOLE-DAY

Andy and Will are walking down a street where there is a building to 
their right.
		
		ANDY
	(looking up into the sky)
	Why do you think we're here?
		
		WILL
	Well you asked me if I wanted to go downtown 
	and-
		
		ANDY
	No, not us here; people in the universe here.
		
		WILL
	Oh...well I dunno.
		
		ANDY
	I read a book once that said that the universe is 
	much too complicated for someone to figure out 
	a meaning.  And they also said that if anyone 
	ever figured out the meaning, then the universe 
	would collapse and reform into an even more 
	complicated version than the one before.  Then 
	they said that it happened before. 
		
		WILL
	Hmm, sounds like bullshit to me.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, well it was a fictional story.  It was good, 
	though.  Very interesting.
		
		WILL
	(with a bit of sarcasm)
	Yeah, sure.

Andy and Will walk by an alleyway.  Will is lagging behind a little 
bit.  
All of a sudden a group of men that are dressed in suits come out of 
the alleyway and behind Will.  Then they give him chloroform, which 
makes Will pass out.  They catch Will as he falls backwards and then 
they drag him back into the alleyway.
		
		ANDY
	(without looking back at a Will who is 
	not there)
	Hey Will, what's your favorite fruit?

Andy waits a couple seconds, then he stops and turns around.  When 
he does this, he sees no one.
			
			CUT TO:

A close up on Andy's face.  He's looking side to side.
		
		ANDY
	(kind of freaked out)
	Will?

All of a sudden Andy looks like he's in pain.  He makes a pained 
sound to ensure this feeling.  Then he falls out of frame to reveal a 
suited man pointing a fired tranquilizer gun.

INT. VAN-DAY

Everything looks hazy because Andy is half passed out.  Andy is 
lying on the floor of the van, a ton of suited men are kneeling around 
him, but some are sitting off to the sides, reading files.

Andy POV-It's dark because his eyes are closed.  Then his lids 
flicker open very slowly.  He looks around, but you can't make out 
any faces because it's too hazy.
		
		ANDY
	(it sounds almost distant when he says 
	this)
	Where am I?
		
		SUITED MAN
	(also sounds distant)
	You're being transported.
		
		ANDY
	(distant sounding)
	To where, and why?
		
		SUITED MAN
	(distant)
	Shh, just go back to sleep.

Andy's eyes flicker again very slowly.  Then they close, so all we 
see is darkness.

INT. CELL-NIGHT

The room is not painted, but instead has the plain cement color 
everywhere.  In the middle of the room is a wooden chair with a table 
in front of it.  Handcuffed to the chair is Andy, who looks like shit.  
There's a roller chair in the corner of the room as well.

Andy POV-We start out with black again because his eyes are 
closed.  Then they flicker open slowly.  He sees a bright light.  The 
image starts out hazy, but then becomes clear, it's a light that hangs 
right above him.  He swings his head forward, and scans the plain 
room.  He looks in front of him to see a small wooden table with 
nothing on it.  He looks at the chair he's sitting in, and sees that 
his 
left hand is handcuffed to the arm of the chair.  He pulls up his arm 
in 
order to ensure that his hand is actually handcuffed.  He looks over at 
the door in the corner of the room as it opens up.  Five suited men 
walk into the room.  Four of them walk up to the wall, and take a 
stance facing Andy.  Then the main one, the leader, walks up to the 
table in front of Andy.
			
			CUT TO:

A shot in which everyone in the room is included.  The leader's name 
is Agent John Smith.  He's tall and slender.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Hello Andrew.
		
		ANDY
	(kind of delirious)
	Where am I.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well that's not a proper way to greet someone.  
	Let's try this again.  Hello Andrew, my name's 
	Agent John Smith.
		
		ANDY
	Hello Agent John Smith.  
	(demanding)
	Now where am I?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	No, no, no, no.  We're not finished with 
	introductions yet.  Let's try this one more time.  
	Hello Andrew.
		
		ANDY
	(annoyed)
	Hello Agent John Smith.  How are you doing 
	today?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Fine, thank you.  And you?
		
		ANDY
	I have a headache and I'm kinda scared and 
	pissed at the same time, but other than that I'm 
	fine.  Thanks for asking.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Okay.  Hey James, can you please pass me that 
	chair?

A suited man standing in the back (James) grabs the back rest of the 
chair and slides it over to Agent John Smith.  Smith catches it and 
sits opposite Andy at the table.
		
		ANDY
	Okay, Agent John Smith, where am I?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	I'm sorry, Andrew, I am not at liberty to tell 
	you that.
		
		ANDY
	(pissed off)
	Then why did you lead me on like that?!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	I don't recollect me ever leading you on.
		
		ANDY
	(frustrated)
	But you fuckin' did, you-ah!  
	(tries to lift up his hands, but he can't 
	lift up his left)
	Why the fuck am I handcuffed?!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	For our and your protection.
		
		ANDY
	(exasperated)
	What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well if you settle down then maybe I'll tell you 
	what's going on.

Andy closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath.
		
		ANDY
	(calm)
	Okay...is my family okay?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Don't worry, your family is so drugged up they 
	don't even know you're gone.
			
			CUT TO:

We do a shock cut to a hospital room.  Andy's mom, dad, and two 
older brothers are all sitting up in hospital beds.  They have ivies 
running into their arms, and they all have dazed looks on their faces.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy and the suited men in the cell.
		
		ANDY
	Well I guess that's okay. 
	(pause)
	Wait...what did you guys do to Will?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Oh the kid you were with?  We gave him some 
	chloroform and just left him in the alleyway.
		
		ANDY
	I'm sure he found his way home.  So why am I 
	here?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	I'm glade I see that you are cooperating.
		
		ANDY
	Well I don't have much of a choice, do I?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	No you don't.  Okay, let's get started, shall we?

Smith looks over his shoulder and snaps his fingers at a man in the 
corner who has a briefcase.  The man walks up to the table and sets 
the briefcase down in front of Agent John Smith.  The man does a 
little bowing motion and then returns to his spot.  Agent Smith opens 
the briefcase and takes out a folder that is packed full of papers and 
photos. He then puts the briefcase down to his side and opens the 
folder.  In the folder are a bunch of pictures of different people 
(mostly black) paper clipped to a file of the person.  Andy peers at 
the top file.
		
		ANDY
	Hey isn't that Nelly?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(without looking at Andy)
	Yes it is.
		
		ANDY
	And...that's P Diddy.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(still looking down)
	Yep.
		
		ANDY
	And that's L.L. Cool J
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(still looking down)
	Right again.
		
		ANDY
	What do a bunch of rappers have to do with me.

Agent Smith looks up at Andy.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well right now I'm going to tell you.  I can see 
	you are familiar with rap music.
		
		ANDY
	I don't like it, but I went to a school where the 
	majority liked rap, so yeah I am familiar with it.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well there is more to rap music than meets the 
	eye.
		
		ANDY
	What the hell does that mean?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Are you familiar with subliminal messaging.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah.

Agent Smith tilts his head to the side.
		
		ANDY
	Oh bullshit!  Subliminal messages in rap music?  
	That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Is it?!
		
		ANDY
	Yes it is!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(louder than before)
	Is it?!  Andrew don't be so naive.  Put the 
	pieces together.  Millions of people around the 
	world, all obsessed with it.  They dress like 
	them, they talk like them, they have no regard 
	for rules or laws or anyone else around them!
		
		ANDY
	Sounds like someone's a little racist.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Maybe you're the one that's racist.  I didn't say 
	anything about black people.  It's everyone, 
	black, white, brown, red, yellow, everyone's 
	being taken over!
		
		ANDY
	Is it that big of a deal?  Just put it out in the 
	open and arrest the people that are behind it.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	It's not that simple, Andrew.  The subliminal 
	messaging isn't even the half of it.
		
		ANDY
	Then what is it?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	About one-fourth, but that's not relevant here.  
	What's relevant is why and by who.
		
		ANDY
	Then why don't you tell me.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(embarrassed)
	Well I like building up the suspense.
		
		ANDY
	Oh.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well here it is, the big load, the big tamale, the 
	bombshell-
		
		ANDY
	Just get on with it.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Okay, okay, you don't have to play the music.  
	The people that are behind it, I wouldn't really 
	call people.
		
		ANDY
	Who are they, the homeless?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	If only that were true, Andrew.  No...they're 
	aliens.
		
		ANDY
	You mean like Mexicans.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	No, I meant the E.T. phone home type of aliens.
		
		ANDY
	Oh. 
	(thinking things through)
	Yeah, I'm gonna go.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Wait, Andrew, just listen.  We are not sure 
	where they are from, but they came sometime 
	during the mid-eighties.  Their species is called 
	Falopeans, they landed in small ships that are 
	the size of basketballs.
		
		ANDY
	(kind of bored)
	They must be small.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Oh they're microscopic.  From what we can 
	gather from intelligence, they were a dying race 
	on their planet, no food or resources; so they 
	started to go from planet to planet, taking them 
	over, and then when all the resources were 
	consumed they would move onto the next 
	planet. 
		
		ANDY
	Like locusts?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Yes, like locusts.
		
		ANDY
	So then what?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well when they landed on our planet they saw 
	how different we were from the other species 
	on other planets.  We had feelings, we had 
	styles, we had music, etc, etc.  So they took 
	advantage of that.  They went into the minds of 
	some poor children in the Bronx.  Then they 
	started to rap.  At first it was the catchy beat 
	that drew them near, then they were hooked.  
	The aliens started putting coding inside the 
	songs, making the listeners slaves to the 
	falopeans.  Then rap grew even further.  It 
	expanded into clothing styles, speaking styles, 
	walking styles, you name it.  Little by little 
	turing the world into slaves. 
		
		ANDY
	How do things like clothing take people over.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	It exercises how much power they have over 
	them.  They're just gonna keep on expanding 
	their power until they have complete control.
		
		ANDY
	But a lot of people don't like rap.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	They may not like it, but nevertheless it starts 
	to grow on you, like a fungus.  Eventually 
	everyone will be taken over.
		
		ANDY
	Then why me?  Out of all the people in the 
	world, why me?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Because you're special.
		
		ANDY
	Ed?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	No, not ed, special in a good way.  We have 
	gathered certain things from intelligence, and 
	among those things were some files about you.  
	We later tried to check this out by decoding 
	songs.  They checked out.  We don't know for 
	certain, Andrew, but you appear to be some kind 
	of typhoid Mary of the rap music.   You can 
	listen to it without actually being affected.
		
		ANDY
	What?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well were not sure what it is, but this is what 
	we found in one of the songs.

Agent Smith takes a paper out of the folder and puts it in front of 
Andy.
		
		ANDY
	(looking at the paper)
	What's this?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	It appears to be some sort of device that 
	transmits telepathy waves.  This is just a 
	theory, but here's what our men have come up 
	with.  We think that they are going to somehow 
	plant a device on you that will transmit coded 
	rap into everyone's mind.
		
		ANDY
	Why me again?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well Andrew, one of the side affects of the 
	messaging is being a complete slacker, lazy, not 
	wanting to do anything.
		
		ANDY
	Because of all the weed?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Yes, but do you see where I'm going with this?
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, so they want to implant 
	(cringes)
	this device in me, so when I walk around 
	everyone gets hooked immediately because they 
	can't get the music out of their heads.  And they 
	need me because I won't be affected by the 
	telepathy waves.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Precisely, I knew you'd get it.

Andy sits back in his chair and starts to think.
		
		ANDY
	So you took me because you don't want them to 
	get me.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Not exactly.
		
		ANDY
	What then?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well instead of having you locked up in this 
	room, we would like to use you.
		
		ANDY
	What?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well you have the immunity, you can help us 
	dearly.
		
		ANDY
	As what?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	You can help us with missions, be an agent.  But 
	for right now we have a very important mission 
	for you.
		
		ANDY
	Oh yeah, and what's that?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Bate.
		
		ANDY
	Bate?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Bate.  We want to put you out in the open, let 
	them catch you.  If we let them catch you we 
	can get a lot of good information, like major 
	hiding places of the Falopeans, things like that.
		
		ANDY
	How?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well the people that are going to plant the 
	device are going to be the head honchos.  These 
	people probably know about the messaging, they 
	may even have important information on the 
	Falopeans. 
		
		ANDY
	And if I refuse to help?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Then the human race will fall to the hands of 
	microscopic bacteria.
		
		ANDY
	What exactly would we be doing for them?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Gathering food, like plants and fruits, things like 
	that.
		
		ANDY
	Well that's not so bad.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Not only that, Andrew.  If you don't help us, 
	we'll make your life a living hell.  We'll burn 
	your house down, make sure you never have a 
	movie career, make you poor, kill everyone 
	who's special to you, you know, that sort of 
	thing.
		
		ANDY
	(has his poker face on)
	That's quite a bluff.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	It's not a bluff, it's the flat out truth.
		
		ANDY
	You can't do that?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Sure we can, we're the US government.  We can 
	killl anyone and get away with it.
		
		ANDY
	(mumbling)
	Fuckin' shitkicker Bush.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	What did you say?
		
		ANDY
	(much louder than the mumble)
	I want proof.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	You want proof, I'll show you proof.

Agent Smith gets up and snaps his fingers.  Immediately all the men 
walk over to Andy, unlock the handcuffs, bring him to his feet, and 
cuff his hands together in the front.  
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Follow me.

Agent Smith walks out the door, all the other agents walk Andy a few 
feet behind him.

INT. CELL-NIGHT

This cell is a lot like the other one, except this cell only has a 
single 
chair in the middle of the room.  The chair looks like a chair you 
would use to electrocute someone.  Painted in a foot radius around 
the chair is a red circle.  Strapped to the chair is a black man in an 
orange jumpsuit, a lot like the one's prisoners where.  The door to 
the cell opens, and Agent Smith and company walks into the room.  
Agent Smith walks up to about a foot away from the circle, while the 
brigade hold Andy at the now closed door.  Agent Smith motions with 
his head for them to bring Andy over.  The suited men immediately 
catch on, so they push Andy forward, next to Smith.  The man in the 
chair seems to be in his own world.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(while staring at the prisoner)
	Do you see that man there?
		
		ANDY
	(while watching the prisoner, but kind 
	of freaked out and disgusted)
	Yeah.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(still staring)
	What do you notice about him.
		
		ANDY
	(still staring with disgust and 
	frightfulness)
	Umm...well...he kind of looks like he's on 
	shrooms, but I don't know if that's right.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Your close, he's on E.
		
		ANDY
	(interested)
	Hmm.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Andrew do me a favor and step across that red 
	line.
		
		ANDY
	(weirded out)
	Okay.

Andy begins to take steps at a very slow pace.  Right when he 
crosses the line, the prisoner snaps out of his state of narcosis and 
tries to lung at Andy, but he can't because of the heavy restraints.  
Andy jumps back in terror as the prisoner tries as hard as he can to 
break free and capture Andy.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Now do you see what is happening out there.  In 
	the world, right now, there are songs playing 
	with codes that are demanding your capture.  
	Lucky for us, the songs also say where to bring 
	you.
		
		ANDY
	I guess that helps.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	It will if you help us.  Will you help us?

Andy just stares at the prisoner for a few seconds, then he turns 
around to face Smith.
		
		ANDY
	No...I won't help you.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Excuse me?
		
		ANDY
	I won't help you.  This is way too big for me.  
	I'm not a venturous guy, I'm actually a big 
	coward on the inside.

Right then Agent Smith reaches into his blazer and pulls out his gun.  
In a flash, he then fires three shots into the head of the prisoner, 
just 
missing Andy.  Andy is so startled by this that he dives to the ground 
for cover.  Smith, without reacting to Andy at all, puts the gun back 
in its holster.  He then looks over at Andy, who is now covered in 
brain matter.
			
			CUT TO:

Agent Smith POV-Andy is lying on the ground with his arms over his 
head for cover.  His whole back is covered in blood and brain matter.  
He's shaking uncontrollably from shock.  He looks up very slowly at 
Smith
			
			CUT TO:

A shot of Agent Smith and Andy.  Andy just stares with fright at 
Smith for about ten seconds.  Agent Smith returns the stare with one 
on his own, but his is expressionless.  Then a loud yell from Andy 
breaks the silence.  Smith puts his finger to his ear.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Please refrain from yelling like that, I don't want 
	to be fifty and deaf.

Andy jumps to his feet.  Now you can see that his clothes, hair, and 
face are covered in blood and brain matter.
		
		ANDY
	(hysterically)
	Deaf?!  You don't want to be deaf?!  If  you 
	don't want to be deaf then 
	(this part is louder than the rest)
	maybe you shouldn't randomly blow people's 
	heads off!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	He was of no use to us anymore.
		
		ANDY
	(pissed off)
	"He was of no use to us anymore," Well how 
	bout next time you give me some heads up?!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Andrew, you're in shock, you need to lye down.
		
		ANDY
	Why, so you can drug me and force me to play 
	along in your little quest?!  Fuck that!  Fuck 
	that!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Are you willing to throw away the human race 
	because you're afraid.
		
		ANDY
	Yes!  Yes I am!  
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Why?
		
		ANDY
	"Why?" 
	(points to carcass)
	Cause I don't want to end up like that! 

Agent Smith just nods, as if he understands.   Then he turns half way 
so he can see the suited men.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Fred?

A suited man (Fred) pulls a gun out of his jacket and fires a tranq 
dart right at Andy's neck.  The dart sticks and Andy hits the hard 
floor.

EXT. BACK ALLEYWAY-NIGHT

It seems to be a city in god-knows-where.  Andy is sitting, passed 
out, in an alleyway against a wall.  The sounds of cars can be heard in 
the distant background, and the only thing to light the streets are the 
old street lamps.  Across from Andy is a big tin warehouse.  You can 
hear some sort of chatter going on inside the warehouse as Andy 
begins to wake up.  As Andy finally begins to look around, 
wonderingly, the tin door to the warehouse flies open and a bunch of 
ghetto black people rush out, grab Andy, and drag him back inside.

INT. WAREHOUSE-NIGHT

The warehouse is filled with angry ghetto black people.  The 
warehouse is vast and unpainted.  Occupying the warehouse are lines 
and lines of tables, all stacked with drugs, guns, and loads of money.  
They drag Andy into the warehouse, close the door, and tie Andy to 
a chair.  They all gather around Andy.  Andy is half delirious, and 
half 
tired of this bullshit.  He looks around in angry boredom.
		
		ANDY
	(sarcastically)
	Nice place you got here.  Ooh, is that an uzi?
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Shut the fuck up!
		
		ANDY
	Okay.  
	(pause)
	Can you untie me?  I was just handcuffed and I 
	would really like to move around-
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Shut-the fuck-up.
		
		ANDY
	(mumbles)
	Someone woke up on the wrong side of the crib 
	this morning?
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	What was that?
		
		ANDY
	(loud)
	Your heroine looks appetizing.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Hells yeah, B, our shit is...well it's the shit.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah so can I go?
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	No!
		
		ANDY
	Why not?
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	(turns to his left)
	Yo bitch!

Bitch is a man.
		
		BITCH
	Yeah?
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Shut this mothafucka up.
		
		BITCH
	Fa show.

Bitch walks up to Andy with a roll of duck tape and duck tapes his 
mouth shut.  Then he steps back with the leader.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Whipped, wichtish.
		
		RANDOM GHETTO PERSON
	Why do ya want dis biatch anyway?
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	I gotta do somethin' to 'im.
		
		BITCH
	What?

The leader guy turns and bitch slaps Bitch.  
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Shut up, Bitch.
		
		BITCH
	Sorry, B.

All of a sudden you hear a knock at the door to the alleyway.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Go check who dat is, Bitch.

Bitch walks up to the door and opens it.  Right when he does a swarm 
of ghetto black people charge in, blasting their semiautomatic 
weapons.  Bitch gets ripped apart by the bullets immediately.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Oh shit!

All at once the other side pulls out their pistols and start firing 
away 
as well.  Andy starts to look around himself wonderingly as the gang 
war is continuing.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I better take advantage of this opportunity.

Andy starts to hop in the chair.  Slowly, but surely, the chair starts 
to move towards the open sliding door.  Andy scoots about two feet 
before the chair tips over.  He slams against the ground as he 
screams an obscenity that's muffled by the ducktape.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	In case you didn't catch that last bit, I said 
	fuckin' ay.
			
			CUT TO:

We do a close up of just Andy's face.  You can here the gun firing and 
obscenities being shouted in the background as Andy struggles to get 
free.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON (OS)
	(distant)
	Eat led mothafucka!

All of a sudden you here an automatic weapon being fired, probably a 
gatlin gun.  When the guns start to fire you see flashes of light shine 
on Andy's face.  Andy gives up on trying to get free, and starts to 
watch the battle with interest.  The gatlin gun firing seems to 
continue without interruption.
		
		RANDOM GHETTO PERSON (OS)
	Holy shit, B, run!

Suddenly the firing is ceases because a loud explosion takes place. 
Right when the explosion happens Andy squints at the huge blast of 
light and a big gust of wind.  After the explosion is done with, 
everything is silent.
			
			CUT TO:

We do a scan of the room.  The room is covered in dead, bloody, 
mangled gang members.  There is blood spattered on the walls and 
tables, guns, drugs, etc are strewn across the room.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is now standing on his feet and he's throwing the remainder of 
the rope off of his hands.  He rips of the duck tape.
		
		ANDY
	Fuck!

Then he looks around the room.
		
		ANDY
	(like he can't quite believe it)
	Holy shit...All these guys, dead, and for what?

All of a sudden Agent John Smith walks into frame and stands right 
next to Andy.  Any acts surprised, but he doesn't jump.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	(as he's walking up to Andy)
	One of the side effects of the messaging is 
	being unnecessarily violent.
		
		ANDY
	Where'd you come from.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	I was outside the whole time.
		
		ANDY
	(angry)
	Do you mean to tell me that you were outside, 
	even though you knew these guys were killing 
	each other?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	They're of no use to me.  These guys were at 
	the bottom.
		
		ANDY
	But they were killing each other!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Your point?
		
		ANDY
	They're human beings!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Andrew, Andrew, my dear boy, they were taken 
	over by the messaging.
		
		ANDY
	They're just under a trance, they're not fuckin' 
	aliens!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	In my eyes they are.

Andy socks Smith in the face, Smith falls to the ground.  
		
		ANDY
	You fuckin' crazy son of a bitch!

Andy turns and walks out of the door.

EXT. STREET-NIGHT

Andy turns out of the alleyway and starts to walk down the street.
		
		ANDY
	God what a fuckin' asshole.

He keeps walking down the street until he passes another alleyway.  
When he does pass the alleyway, the Leader Ghetto Person and a 
very small portion of his gang run out of the alleyway, grab Andy by 
his shoulders, and drag him into the darkness of the alleyway.

EXT. BACK ALLEYWAY-NIGHT

This alleyway is a lot like the other one.  The Leader Ghetto person 
and his gang are a little beat up, but fine otherwise.  They drag Andy 
into the alleyway and then throw him against the ground.  They flip 
Andy over onto his belly and then pull his pants down to his knees.
			
			CUT TO:

A shot where we only show the Leader from his chest up.  He's 
looking down at Andy, who is not in the frame.  He raises his hands 
into frame, his hands are covered with latex gloves.  He pulls down 
the bottom of one of the gloves and then lets go, so it snaps back.  
When he does this an evil grin spreads over his face.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	It's time to help us, B.  Give it to me.

You can see the the Leader grab something, but you don't know what 
it is because it's out of frame.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	And just to add, I ain't done nutin' like dis 
	before.
		
		ANDY (OS)
	Yeah, I'm sure.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON
	Shut up, bitch.

He silences Andy by pushing the object into the most notorious of 
body cavities.
			
			CUT TO:

We show an extreme close up on Andy's eyes.  He makes a face like 
he just got something shoved up his ass.  He even makes the painful 
grunt.
		
		LEADER GHETTO PERSON (OS)
	Okay, it's in.

You hear a heavy thud sound, and then Andy is out like a light.

EXT. STREET-DAY

The sun is out today in god-knows-where.  The town is a little 
suburban, but still busy.  Cars drive by the store front shops in the 
forest town as Andy lays passed out, half on the sidewalk and half 
off.  He looks like shit, with messed up hair and dried blood on his 
nose.  He wakes up very slowly.  When he does he moans and starts 
rubbing his head.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Fuck, every five minutes I get knocked out.  
	This is frustrating.

Andy sits up and starts rubbing the dried blood off of his face.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I wonder what those bastards did with me.

Andy tries to get to his feet, but falters.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	(says as if he's feeling a weird 
	sensation)
	That's what!

Andy gets up again, but very cautiously.  When he gets to his feet he 
has a cringing face.  Then with his legs partly bent and a cringing 
face he starts to do a "I have to take a shit" walk down the street.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	It feels like I have a lump of coal in my ass.

As he walks he passes a woman who gives him an odd look.
		
		ANDY
	Don't ask.

The woman shrugs and keeps walking.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	The shitty part is, I don't think they used any 
	lubrication...he he, get it?  The shitty part, 
	that's funny.

INT. DRUGSTORE-DAY

It's a small mom and pop drugstore.  White walls, white floor, white 
ceiling.  The place is pretty much empty because it's during the day 
on a weekday.  We start out at the register.  The clerk is a man in his 
twenties, probably straight out of college.  Andy does an Egor walk 
up to the register with about ten bottles of Exlax.  Then he just 
drops them all on the conveyer belt.  The man looks kind of 
uncomfortable as he scans the bottles.  Andy looks at the guy and 
does an uncomfortable nod/smile.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I know what you're thinkin', but I thought it 
	through and an enema wouldn't work.  Think 
	about it,  You already have something up your 
	bum, sticking a tube up there wouldn't help...but 
	that's just my knowledge.  I mean what do I 
	know about anal blockages.

The clerk bags the bottles and puts them on the counter.  Andy pays 
and takes the bags.
		
		CLERK
	(as Andy's leaving)
	Have a nice day.
		
		ANDY
	(pained)
	You too.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Jackass.
			
			CUT TO:

We go to a shot of the bathroom door in the drugstore.  We zoom in 
very slowly on the door as grunts from Andy come from the other 
side of the door.  As we get closer to the door the grunts sound more 
painful.  Then when we get as close to the door as possible the 
grunts turn into a sigh of relief.  You then hear a flush sound, 
followed by the water faucet, and then the door opening to reveal 
Andy.
		
		ANDY
	Ahhhhh!  Relief!

EXT. FORREST BACKROADS-DAY

It's a basic two lane road that's surrounded by trees.  Andy is 
walking backwards down the side of the road with his thumb out.  
Cars pass by seldom, but when they do they just speed by him.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I've actually never been hitchhiking before 
	because first of all, I've never been anywhere 
	like this without my mom; and second of all, my 
	mom has told me about the crazy ass murderers 
	who pick up hitchhikers.  My mom has spread a 
	lot of her paranoia to me, but right now this is 
	my only choice, so I have to leave my paranoia 
	behind...Eureka, a car.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV-A Chevy POS truck is driving down the road.  Inside the 
car you can see a sweaty, dirty, bearded man who is wearing a 
cowboy hat, blue jeans, and a blue button up shirt that is buttoned up 
about half way.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is standing on the side of the road with his hands flailing in the 
air.  The Chevy drives past Andy and then pulls over on the side of 
the road.
		
		ANDY
	Yes.

Andy runs up to the car, opens the door, and gets in.

INT. CHEVY-DAY

Andy gets into the old Chevy.  The driver speaks with a southern 
accent.
		
		DRIVER
	Howdy.
		
		ANDY
	Hey, thanks for picking me up.
		
		DRIVER
	No problem, looked trustworthy enough.  
		
		ANDY
	That's nice, I guess.
		
		DRIVER
	Yeah, can't let anyone get my prize posation.
		
		ANDY
	Oh yeah, and what's that?
		
		DRIVER
	Not gonna tell ya, it has to be kept secret.
		
		ANDY
	Okay, I respect that.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	What a weirdo.

There's a pause.
		
		DRIVER
	What's your name?
		
		ANDY
	Andy.  Yours?
		
		DRIVER
	Sorry, can't tell ya.
		
		ANDY
	Okay.
		
		DRIVER
	Where ya from?
		
		ANDY
	It's this small Northern Californian town.
		
		DRIVER
	Well I can only take you as far as Phoenix.
		
		ANDY
	That's okay...Where you from?
		
		DRIVER
	Sorray, can't tell ya.
		
		ANDY
	You know, you're asking me a lot of questions.  
	It's kind of rude not to answer any of mine.
		
		DRIVER
	I think I'll judge what's rude or not, since I'm 
	the one doin' all the favors here.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah I guess that's fair.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Bitch.
		
		DRIVER
	So what brings a little kid like you all the way 
	out here by yaself?
		
		ANDY
	It's a very long, embarrassing story that I would 
	rather not tell.
		
		DRIVER
	Fair enough.
		
		ANDY
	I would tell you, but believe me...it's for your 
	own safety.
		
		DRIVER
	Woa...that's fucked up.
		
		ANDY
	Fucked up isn't even the half of it.

There's a pause for a while.  The Driver squints because he's trying 
to scan something in the road ahead.
		
		DRIVER
	What the fuck?
			
			CUT TO:

Driver POV-Through the windshield of the car you can see a black 
Cadillac parked across the road in a way so that no one can pass.  
Leaning against the side of the car, watching the Chevy driving 
towards them, is Agent John Smith and two other agents from his 
posse.  The Chevy comes to a stop about twenty feet away from the 
Cadillac. 
			
			CUT TO:

Andy and Driver sitting in the car.
		
		DRIVER
	You stay here, I'll go check things out.
		
		ANDY
	I wouldn't do that.
		
		DRIVER
	Why not?
		
		ANDY
	Those guys are really violent, I wouldn't mess 
	with them.

Andy's eyes look intent.  Driver shows his understanding with a 
slight nod.
		
		DRIVER
	Okay, open the glove compartment.

Andy opens the glove compartment.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- The glove compartment is open, in the glove 
compartment are a bunch of folded maps and papers.  But on top of 
all the papers is a .44 magnum.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy and Driver in the car.
		
		ANDY
	You sure?
		
		DRIVER
	Hell yeah.

Andy takes the gun out and hands it to Driver in a way so the suited 
men can't see it.  Driver checks if the gun is loaded (it is) and then 
puts it in his pants pocket. 
		
		DRIVER
	Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

Driver gets out of the car.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- Through the windshield you can see Driver walk up to 
Smith.  They're talking to each other, but you can't hear anything.  
They talk like this for about a minute and a half.  Then the agent that 
is standing behind Driver takes out his semiautomatic handgun and 
shoots him right in the back of the head.  Driver falls to his knees, 
then he tips over, dead.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is sitting in the Chevy, still.  He's frozen with shock.
		
		ANDY
	(shocked)
	Holy shit, they shot him right in the head.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- The agents are still at the Cadillac, looking down at the 
Driver and discussing something that cannot be heard.  Then they 
look up at Andy.  Smith says something and the two agents pull out 
their guns and start walking towards the car, on either side of it.  
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is sitting in the Chevy, now he's afraid.
		
		ANDY
	Oh shit.

Andy quickly unbuckles his seat belt, opens his door, and jumps out 
of the car.

EXT. FORREST BACKROADS-DAY

Andy tumbles out of the car.  The two posse agents start to fire at 
Andy.  Both shots hit the door Andy is standing behind.
		
		ANDY
	(as both shots are being fired)
	Shit, shit!

Andy goes running into the trees as the agents start to fire at him 
again.  The agents look back at Smith.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	What the hell are you waiting for?  Get his ass.

The two agents run into the trees to hunt down Andy.  Agent John 
Smith checks his watch, and then looks up at the shinning sun.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Nice day today.

Smith just leans there, against the Cadillac, for a minute or two.  
Then you hear two loud, echoing, gunshots.  One right after the 
other.  Agent Smith looks over in the direction of the shots, then he 
nods his head in approval.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Looks like they did it.
		
		ANDY (OS)
	Fuckin' right they did it!

Agent Smith turns around in surprise.
			
			CUT TO:

Agent John Smith POV- About one hundred yards away, Andy stands 
next to the tree line.  He's pointing one of the agents guns at Smith.  
Andy has blood on his face, but it's not his own; and he has a look of 
anger on his face.  Andy starts to fire without stop at Smith.
			
			CUT TO:

Smith looks surprised by this.  He dives out of the way as the bullets 
go whizzing by him.  The bullets hit the Chevy truck.  After the 
twelfth bullet or so hits the Chevy, it explodes a giant explosion.  A 
giant fireball bursts into the air, followed by a bulb of black smoke.  
The flames are still rising high though, and they've spread to the 
Cadillac and to the street.
			
			CUT TO:

We do a close up on Andy's face as he spins around and starts 
walking away.  Andy has a look of boldness on his face, and the only 
thing that can be seen in the background is the flames licking the air.  
We super the words: "This scene is dedicated to Will Blase."
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I wonder if that guy's prized posation had 
	anything to do with that.

EXT. THE FRONT OF ANDY'S HOUSE-DAY

The sun is shinning at high noon in Pinole right now.  The front of 
Andy's house is brown.  There is an enclosed porch where the front 
door is.  Next to the driveway is another small drive way where 
there is a boat and a RD.  A chicken truck pulls in front of the house.  
Andy opens the passenger door and gets out.  He turns around and 
looks into the window of the car.
		
		ANDY
	Thanks for the ride, man.
		
		CHICKEN DRIVER
	No prob.

Andy steps back as the truck drives around the court, and out.  Andy 
walks towards his house, but he stops at the foot of his driveway.  He 
looks up at the sky and takes a big breath of fresh air.
		
		ANDY
	Ah, it's good to be home.

Andy walks up the driveway, and then turns into the enclosed porch.

INT. LIVINGROOM-DAY

The room is empty and in disarrayed.  Papers are strewn all over the 
floor and the floor is also covered in broken glass from the window 
up towards the ceiling.  The front door opens and Andy walks into 
the house.  He scans the room, bends down, and picks up a set of 
keys.  He looks from the keys to out the window.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Bastards ruined my life.  I'll get them back one 
	day.

He drops the keys to the floor.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	But first things first, I gotta shower and change.

Andy walks into the hallway.

INT. HALLWAY-DAY

Andy walks through the hallway, and then turns into the bathroom.

INT. BATHROOM-DAY

The bathroom looks the same as from when we first saw it.  Andy 
walks into the bathroom.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I guess they thought they couldn't mess it up 
	anymore than it already was.

Andy shuts the door on us once again

INT. KITCHEN-DAY

Andy walks into the kitchen (he is now dressed in a different set of 
clothing), which is covered in cereal, crackers, and pots.  Andy walks 
through and opens the fridge.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- In the fridge you can see jars of jam, peanut butter, and 
mayonnaise.  All not looking quit too appetizing.  He looks down to 
see a jug of milk.  He picks it up to see that the milk has become 
solid.  He then opens the meat drawer to see a lot of rotten turkey.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is still looking into the fridge.  He the closes the fridge door 
and opens the freezer.  He closes that also and starts walking directly 
towards the camera.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Looks like I need to clean up around here.

INT. LIVINGROOM-DAY

Andy is cleaning the room now with a broom, garbage can, and dust 
pan. 
		
		ANDY (VO)
	You think they would try to be covert and clean, 
	just in case some cop came in here.  Well so far 
	they've been pretty trigger happy, so actually 
	this looks like their style.  I just hope they 
	haven't done anything to them.

INT. CHEVY SUBURBAN-DAY

Andy (a person way too young to drive) is driving in his Suburban 
through Pinole.  He turns into the drive through of the McDonald's.  
He drives up to the ordering window and sticks his head out. 
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, I'll have a double quarter pounder wit 
	cheese and a Mr. Pibb.
		
		TELLER (VO)
	Do you want to super size that?
		
		ANDY
	Please.
		
		TELLER
	That'll be five fifty at the window.
		
		ANDY
	Okay.

Andy starts to drive up towards the window.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	I know I'm too young to drive, but I'm a hungry 
	man with nothing to lose.

Andy pulls up to the window and reaches into his mom's purse.  He 
pulls out some money, gives it to the teller, and then takes the bag of 
food with the big drink.
		
		TELLER
	Have a nice day!
		
		ANDY
	Yep.

Andy speeds away while putting fries in his mouth.

EXT. BACKYARD-DAY

The backyard has no grass or plants, just weeds, dirt, and dog doo.  
The backyard is lined with a fence, and beyond the fence are pine 
trees.  Coming out of the sliding door is a pretty big deck, yet it's 
only partially made.  It's incredibly sunny today, and in a sunny spot 
on the deck, near the door, is Andy in his gym shorts and nothing 
more.  He's lying with sunglasses on and he's holding one of those 
tanning mirrors.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	So my master plan didn't work out, but people 
	like me gotta catch some sun sometime.

In the background you can hear the phone start to ring.  The first 
ring is totally ignored. When it rings a second time, Andy leans up 
halfway, and looks toward the open sliding door.  By the third ring, 
Andy is up to his feet and walking through the door.

INT. DEN-DAY

Andy walks into the Den and walks around the love seat, to the 
phone.  He picks it up on the fifth or sixth ring.
		
		ANDY
	Hello?
		
		WILL (VO)
	Hey, Andy.
		
		ANDY
	Oh, hey Will.
		
		WILL (VO)
	Dude, what the hell happened two weeks ago?
		
		ANDY
	(while rubbing his eyes)
	It was really two weeks ago?  Wow, I guess 
	being shot by tranq darts really messes up your 
	perception of time.
		
		WILL (VO)
	What?
		
		ANDY
	Listen, I don't know if it's safe talking about it 
	on the phone.
		
		WILL (VO)
	Do you want to come over?

Andy looks through the kitchen window, and begins to squint.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- Through the kitchen window, you can see a very familiar 
Cadillac pass by.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is still squinting, looking through the window.
		
		ANDY
	No, I don't think that's safe either.  Okay, meet 
	me at Barnes & Noble at two.  Go there and 
	stand at the Sci-Fi section.  Don't tell anyone 
	why you're going there, and tell your mom to 
	pick you up later.  If I'm not there by two-
	thirty, then just leave.
		
		WILL (VO)
	Dude, you're scaring me.  What's goin' on?
		
		ANDY
	Nothing.  I just have some business that I have 
	to take care of.
		
		WILL (VO)
	Okay, whatever.  See you at two then?
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, hopefully.

You here the line on the other side get cut off.  When that happens 
Andy waits a few seconds, then he hangs up the phone.

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM-DAY

Andy bursts into his room and opens the top drawer of his dresser 
(it's his underpants drawer).  He flings the underpants and socks 
across the room behind him, until he reaches the semiautomatic 
handgun that he took from the agent.  He picks up the gun and stares 
at it for a few seconds.  Then he opens the clip to check the bullets.  
After he does that he puts the clip back into the gun and cocks it.

INT. LIVINGROOM-DAY

The livingroom is empty, silent, and clean.  Then, suddenly, the door 
is kicked open, and a gun bearing agent steps in.  He looks side to 
side, looking for somebody.
			
			CUT TO:

Agent POV- His view sweeps side to side, but he sees no one.
			
			CUT TO:

The agent is just standing there, confused, and with his gun held 
straight out in front of him.
		
		AGENT 
	Hmm...

Out of nowhere (but actually from the hallway) jumps Andy.  He flies 
through the air, hits the agent, and falls to the ground on top of him.  
Now Andy is dressed in his normal attire, instead of gym shorts. 
Andy puts one leg over the agent's gun bearing wrist, and one over 
his torso.  He then holds his gun to the agent's forehead.  Now we 
see that Andy has a couch pillow in his other hand.
		
		ANDY
	(while holding his finger to his lips)
	Shh...Let go of your gun, or I'll pump you so full 
	of led, Superman won't be able to see through 
	you.

The agent drops his gun.  Andy lets go of his pillow, picks up the gun, 
shoves it in his pants, and then picks up the pillow again.
		
		ANDY
	(silently)
	Now, you're gonna tell me, silently, where my 
	family is.
		
		AGENT
	(silently)
	They're a couple doors down from where you 
	were being held.
		
		ANDY
	(silently)
	And that is...?
		
		AGENT
	(silently)
	It's in a bunker that's underneath a barn, near 
	San Antonio, Texas.
		
		ANDY
	(silently)
	Do you have a map?
		
		AGENT
	(silently)
	There's a map in the glove compartment of the 
	Cadillac.
		
		ANDY
	(silently)
	There better be.

Andy then puts the pillow over the agents face.  The agent starts to 
yell, but it's muffled by the pillow.  Andy then forces the gun into 
the 
pillow, and fires three shots, that are silenced.  This shuts the agent 
up.  Andy gets to his feet, and just stares down at the agent.
		
		ANOTHER AGENT (VO)
	Holy shit.

Andy turns around rapidly towards the open door.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- Through the doorway, Andy sees Another Agent, with 
his gun being held to his side.  He's staring at the scene in 
disbelief.
		
		ANOTHER AGENT
	How?  Why?
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is standing, facing the open door.
		
		ANDY
	You screwed me over, I screw you over.  A tit 
	for a tat.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- Through the doorway the agent still stands as he was, 
but now tears begin to stream from his eyes.  He lifts his gun up, 
straight in front of him.

EXT. WALKWAY TO THE DOORWAY-DAY

Another Agent is where he was at the end of the last scene.
		
		ANOTHER AGENT
	Die you bastard!

Another Agent begins to fire his weapon without pause, until his clip 
is unloaded.  While this is happening, you can see bullets whizzing by 
him and hitting the brick wall behind him.  When Another Agent's gun 
runs out, the bullets stop whizzing by him; and when the clip reaches 
empty, he still pulls the trigger a few times.  Then he just opens his 
hand, that's still held straight in front of him, and the smoking gun 
just falls to the ground.  Then we freeze frame.
		
		WILL (VO)
	So what happened?

INT. BARNES & NOBLE-DAY

It's a regular Barnes & Noble.  Complete with community college 
students, tables surrounded by comfy chairs, and a Starbucks.  Andy 
and Will are standing across from each other, behind a bookshelf in 
the Sci-Fi section.
		
		ANDY
	What do you mean, "So what happened?"
		
		WILL
	Well, what the fuck did you do?
		
		ANDY
	What do you mean, "What the fuck did you do?" 
	I shot back!

INT. LIVINGROOM-DAY

It's where we last left Andy.  He's still standing where he was, gun to 
his side, looking through the door.
		
		ANOTHER AGENT (OS)
	Die you bastard!
		
		ANDY
	Holy Shit!

Andy quickly pulls out the gun in his pants with his other hand.  He 
then jumps backwards and shoots, as Another Agent shoots at him.  
Andy hits the ground (still not hit) and just keeps shooting.  You can 
hear bullets whiz by him, and hit things by him.  Another Agent's 
weapon and one of Andy's weapons run out at the same time, but 
Andy stops shooting the weapon that still has bullets left in it.  
There's just silence as smoke begins to rise in the room.  Andy still 
has both weapons pointed out the door.  The silence continues for 
about a minute, then Andy starts blasting the remaining three shots 
left in his gun.  When the gun is dry, he drops both of the guns to the 
ground.

EXT. WALKWAY TO THE DOORWAY-DAY

Another Agent is lying on the ground, dead, and with three bleeding 
bullet holes in his chest.  His smoking gun is lying next to his leg. 
		
		WILL (VO)
	And you didn't get hit?
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Nope.
		
		WILL (VO)
	You didn't even get grazed?
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Nope.
		
		WILL (VO)
	But he like emptied a whole clip on him.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	So, I emptied two clips on him, and only hit him 
	three times.
		
		WILL (VO)
	Well that's different...he's a professional at this 
	kinda stuff.  You're just a stupid fifteen year old 
	kid who's never held a handgun in his life, up till 
	a few days ago.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Fuck you man.
		
		WILL (VO)
	Okay, I'm sorry.  You did kill all those agents, 
	you get props for that...So what do you want me 
	to do?

INT. BARNES & NOBLE-DAY

Where we last left them.
		
		ANDY
	Don't worry, the danger level on your part is 
	minimal.
		
		WILL
	What?  I want to see some action, kill some 
	pigs!

Andy just give Will a stern look.
		
		WILL
	Okay, I can see where your comin' from, but 
	you're no Al Pacino either.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, but my ass is on the line anyway, not 
	yours.  I just want to end this thing with as little 
	lives gone as possible.
		
		WILL
	(sarcastically)
	Oh, so that's why you're killing all those guys 
	without mercy.
		
		ANDY
	Hey, you don't know these people.  You can't 
	reason with them.
		
		WILL
	Okay, okay, okay...so what's the plan?

EXT. HIGHWAY THROUGH DESERT-DAY

We follow the Cadillac as it drives, fast, down the highway.  There's 
lone desert on either side of the highway, and the Cadillac is the only 
car on the road.  We follow the car for about twenty seconds.

EXT. HIGHWAY THROUGH FARMLAND-NIGHT

The Cadillac is once again the only car on the highway, but this time 
you see vast fields of corn on either side of the road.  We follow the 
car for another twenty seconds.

EXT. HIGHWAY THROUGH FARMLAND-DAY

The Cadillac drives for ten seconds.  Then when it is about to pass a 
barn, the car pulls to the side of the road, and is turned off.  Andy 
gets out of the car, on the driver's side, and turns to face Will, 
who's 
in the passenger seat.
		
		ANDY
	Remember, no matter how hard my mom tries to 
	drive, don't let her.  She's too high to drive.
		
		WILL (OS)
	Got it.
		
		ANDY
	And when they get into the car, just drive, drive 
	towards home and never come back; ever.
		
		WILL (OS)
	What about you?
		
		ANDY
	Don't worry about me.  If I make it outta here 
	alive, I'm sure I can find my way back.
		
		WILL (OS)
	Yeah, why do you have to kill all the agents 
	again?
		
		ANDY
	I need to end this once and for all.  Not only for 
	my sake, but for your's, my family's, and 
	everyone else's.  It's the only way.
		
		WILL (OS)
	You sure?
		
		ANDY
	Yes...I'm sure.
		
		WILL (OS)
	Andy, you've been a great friend.  And if I 
	never see you again-
		
		ANDY
	I know man...I know.
		
		WILL (OS)
	Heterosexual life mates forever, man.
		
		ANDY
	Heterosexual life mates forever.

Andy closes the door to the car and walks to the back of the car.  He 
then opens the trunk, and looks into the sunny sky.  Tears begin to 
fall down his face.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	God, I'm not a praying man, but if you can help 
	me outta this one alive, then I promise I'll serve 
	you as best I can.

Andy looks down into the trunk.  Then he reaches in, pulls out an Uzi, 
and examines it.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	You know, I'm gonna miss my life.  It was a 
	normal, friend filled, loving life; and I really took 
	it for granted. You know, I've always wanted my 
	life not to be normal..., but now I realize that an 
	abnormal life isn't that fun at all.  It requires 
	bravery and life ending decisions...God I hope 
	this works.

INT. BARN-DAY

The barn looks normal enough.  Hay covers the floor, and the room is 
semidark.  There is an agent sitting on a wooden chair in the back-
right hand corner of the room.  He's dressed in the usual agent attire 
and is biting his nails.  The barn door swings open to reveal Andy.  
He's wearing a long brown trench coat over his T-shirt and jeans.  
He's also holding an Uzi in his right hand, but it's to his side.  He 
steps inside and examines the place.  The agent doesn't seem to 
notice yet.
		
		ANDY
	Nice place you got here!

The agent jumps to his feet and is about to pull out his gun, but 
before he can Andy raises his Uzi and blasts the agent to the ground.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	That's a shame.

Andy walks over to the agent and looks at the the bloody carcass.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	That's a damn shame.

Andy kicks the agent out of the way and throws the chair towards 
the other side of the room.  Andy then crouches down and sweeps 
the hay off of that little section of floor. 
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Bingo.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy POV- Still partially obscured by the hay is a small metal hatch.  
On the metal hatch is a handle and a red sign that reads: "Restricted 
Area"
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Yeah, I'm sure it is.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy, still crouching, grabs the handle and jerks upward.  The hatch 
swings open, and a spurt of light shines up, out of the hole.  Andy, 
with his gun still in his hand, climbs into the hole, and makes his way 
down the ladder.

INT. HALLWAY IN BUNKER

The hallway is pure cement, and is not painted.  The hallway is 
pretty small, only about five doors go down on each side.  There are 
agents walking back and forth, through the hallway.  Andy climbs 
down the ladder.  When he reaches the ground he turns around and 
points his gun straight in front of him.
			
			CUT TO:

A shot where we just see Andy, facing the camera.  He has the gun 
pointed straight at the camera, and he has a determined look in his 
eyes.
		
		SOME AGENT (OS)
	Oh shit guys, look!
		
		SOME OTHER AGENT (OS)
	Holy crap!

Andy takes that last bit as a cue to start carpet firing the place.  
The 
bullets fly right into the camera, as he moves his gun left and right, 
never pausing.  You can hear screams and yells in the background.  
Even some foreign gun fire.  Every so often, you can see bullets whiz 
by Andy's head.  Andy takes no notice to them.
			
			CUT TO:

An Agent is in the hallway and firing towards the direction of Andy.  
As he's in his stance, firing away without pause, bullets start to hit 
him.  First in the shoulder, then a stream of bullets fly across his 
chest.  Sending blood spurting into the air.  The man falls to the 
ground, dead.
			
			CUT TO:

A band of agents, all in a row, firing towards Andy.  In the 
background, you can see agents running in and out of the rooms, they 
fire their weapons as they step into the hallway.  Some of them fall, 
dead, from bullets being driven into their skulls, and some make it to 
the other side of the hallway.  The band of agents are firing without 
hesitation, and with determination.  Suddenly a stream of bullets 
moves from left to right, driving a single straight line of bullets 
across the bands chest.  They all fall to the ground as blood flies 
from their wounds.
			
			CUT TO:

The first shot of Andy facing the camera.  Andy continues to carpet 
fire, until eventually, he runs out of bullets.  There is a deafening 
silence throughout the hallway.  Andy still holds his Uzi out in front 
of him.
			
			CUT TO:

A scan of the room.  The room is covered in bloody carcasses.  
There are doors swinging open in the hallway, and smoke is rising 
from the ground.
			
			CUT TO:

Andy is standing there in the hallway, he's the only one left that's 
alive.  He's still holding the gun out in front of him as the magazine 
falls out and clinks as it hits the ground.  He brings the Uzi up close 
to him, reaches into his trench coat, pulls out a brand new magazine, 
and loads it back into the Uzi.
		
		ANDY (VO)
	Well...that was a new experience.

Andy holds his gun to his side, and walks down the hallway.  As he 
walks down the hallway, he pushes open each door to see if anyone is 
in the room.  As he goes down, no one is in the first six rooms.  The 
on the seventh he opens it.
		
		AND YET ANOTHER AGENT (OS)
	Holy hell!

Andy points his gun into the room and fires a few rounds.  Then he 
stops to listen to the silence.  After a bit of silence, he walks on.  
No 
one is in any rooms, until he gets to the ninth door.  He looks inside.
		
		ANDY
	There you are!

Andy walks into the room, and closes the door behind him.

INT. CELL/HOSPITAL ROOM-DAY

The cell is also a hospital room.  Across the room are tables, 
monitors, and beds.  In the beds are Andy's parents and two older 
brothers, and they're all doped on up on morphine.  Andy walks into 
the room, and runs over to his parents.  
		
		ANDY
	Mom, dad!

Andy hugs his mom, and then his dad.
		
		ANDY
	Thank god, you guys are all right.
		
		MOM
	(doped up)
	Well of course we're all right.  Those nice men 
	treated us like princesses.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, sure.  Anyway, I got to get you outta 
	here.  So this is what's gonna go down.  You 
	guys are gonna climb up the ladder, walk out the 
	barn, and into the cadillac outside.  Will Blase is 
	then gonna drive you straight home.
		
		MOM
	(doped up)
	What are you talking about?
		
		ANDY
	There's no time for questions, just go.
		
		MOM
	(doped up)
	Why is Will driving, I want to drive.
		
		ANDY
	Mom, you're high.  You can't drive.
		
		MOM
	(doped up)
	I'll tell you what I can and can't do.

After she's says that, she falls forward.  Andy just turns towards his 
brother Matt.
		
		ANDY
	You gonna make sure they get to the car?
		
		MATT
	(not as doped up)
	Sure.
		
		ANDY
	Good, okay let's do it.

Andy helps his mom out of her bed as the rest of his family get to 
their feet and stand up, wobbly.
		
		ANDY
	Okay, you guys, get outta here.

The whole family walks out of the room.  Andy stands there, looking 
at the beds; he smiles.
		
		ANDY
	God, that was pretty funny.

Suddenly you see a blood shoot out of Andy's shoulder.
		
		ANDY
	Son of a bitch!

Andy drops the gun to the ground, and then falls out of frame to 
reveal Agent John Smith.  He's standing at the door with his smoking 
gun pointed straight in front of him.

INT. CELL-DAY

It's the same cell that the deranged crazy black guy was in.  Andy is 
strapped to the chair, and he's bleeding from his shoulder.  Smith is 
walking back and forth with his hands behind his back.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Well Andrew, we've been through a lot.
		
		ANDY
	Yes we have, Smith.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Let me ask you something, Andrew.  Why are 
	you killing all of us?  We're just trying to save 
	humanity.
		
		ANDY
	By killing tons of innocent people?!

Agent Smith pulls out his gun and shoots Andy in the kneecaps.
		
		ANDY
	Fuckin' Ay!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Those "innocent people" cannot be saved.
		
		ANDY
	You don't know that!
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	And if they're not part of the answer, they're 
	part of the problem.
		
		ANDY
	Bullshit!  Are you guy's really Bushin' it?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Yes, yes we are.  But you still haven't answered 
	my question?  
		
		ANDY
	Sure I have.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Maybe in bits and pieces, but I want a straight 
	and honest answer.  Or else you're not leaving 
	here alive.
		
		ANDY
	Okay...well your guys' techniques are very 
	wrong.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	What's so wrong with sending a gang to the 
	hangout of its rival gang so they kill each other.
		
		ANDY
	Well a lot of things, for starters...Another thing 
	is that I don't believe in the whole invasion thing 
	one-hundred percent.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	How can you not believe in the invasion?  The 
	pictures, the files, the codes, the implant that 
	you got.
		
		ANDY
	How'd you know about that?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Intelligence.
		
		ANDY
	Whatever, okay, first of all, the pictures, files, 
	and codes could've just been easily typed up.  
	And the implant was really just a big balloon full 
	of heroine.  So really I haven't seen anything 
	that would make me jump up and praise the 
	lord. 
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	It was a balloon full of heroine?
		
		ANDY
	Yes it was.  Apparently they wanted me to 
	smuggle it somewhere.
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Hmm, this is very interesting indeed.  You 
	know...there is only one rational explanation for 
	this.
		
		ANDY
	Yeah, and what's that?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	That there is no invasion at all.
		
		ANDY
	What?

Agent Smith points his gun down at Andy and starts to fire bullets 
into Andy's skull and chest.  Blood and brain matter spatters 
everywhere.  Agent Smith puts his gun back into his holster, and 
walks out of the room.

EXT. HIGHWAY THROUGH FARMLAND-DAY

Instead of the Cadillac parked in front of the barn, it's an old rusted 
Toyota truck.  In the driver's seat is a  redneck man.  The door to 
the barn opens, and Agent Smith walks out.  But now he's dressed 
like a redneck.  He walks down the walkway and get's into the car.

INT. TOYOTA-DAY

Smith gets into the truck.
		
		REDNECK
	Ya kill em?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Yeah.
		
		REDNECK
	So what ya want ta do na?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Let's get readay fo da KKK meetin'.
		
		REDNECK
	But it only fy-tirty?
		
		AGENT JOHN SMITH
	Yeah, but I hafta buy the snacks.
		
		REDNECK
	Oh.

Redneck turns on the car and starts to speed away.

EXT. HIGHWAY THROUGH FARMLAND-DAY

We watch the truck speed away from the sky.
		
		ANDY(VO)
	Well I guess God thought that I could better 
	serve him dead, but maybe he just wasn't 
	listening.  Only God knows.  But the ending was 
	kinda confusing, wasn't it?  I still don't 
	completely understand it myself.  So why don't 
	you spend another eight-fifty, and watch the 
	movie again.  But don't movie hop, that's morally 
	wrong, and bad for the economy.  So the 
	movie's over.  Hopefully I'll see you in a later 
	life.  This is Andy saying: Y'all come backna, 
	yahea?

THE END

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