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MONKEY
Written by
Sean Wilkie Logue
ON BLACK:
…We hear the voice of FRANKIE, an Italian/American who just happens to
work for the meanest Mob boss in Los Angeles. He is speaking to
someone; we can see neither of them.
FRANKIE (V.O)
…Now this is a good fucking burger! This is good food, good American
restaurants; none of your tea and biscuits crap. I mean look at this…
FADE IN:
INT. HAPPY BURGER RESTAURANT – GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - NIGHT
On a TV SCREEN, this is showing the MUSIC VIDEO of a sexy young pop
singer, the teen dream, known as ANGEL.
Sitting in a booth eating burgers are FRANKIE & LOUIE, FRANKIE is short
and cocky, he's the mouth. LOUIE is the brawn, his eyes fixed on the TV
instead of on Frankie, where they should be.
Both are dressed all in black.
FRANKIE
…Greasy, cheesy burgers, full of fat but taste like heaven…Louie are
you fucking listening to me? What are you looking at, huh?
…FRANKIE looks to the TV.
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
… She's a fucking tease! Now look at me you big dumb fuck! We gotta
have a plan here; we have gotta be smart about this.
LOUIE is still looking at the TV…
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
Louie!
He turns to FRANKIE now.
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
I saw all these movies; we're the guys that always get fucked! We are
the dummies who always get outsmarted, but not us, what we have – is a
password.
LOUIE
…A password?
FRANKIE
A password, we can't just go walking around talking about a half a
million dollars, people tend to have super-fucken-hearing when it comes
to money, so we need to have a word.
LOUIE
…A word. OK. So…what's the password?
BEAT…
FRANKIE
Don't you have one?
LOUIE
No. I didn't know there was gonna be questions! I'm not prepared for
this, I mean you got questions and passwords and plans, that's a lot to
take in for one guy Frankie.
FRANKIE
OK, I got it covered, I saw all these London gangster films, they got
all this rhyming slang, like apples and plums or something and they got
a word for 500 bucks. They call it a monkey.
LOUIE
…A monkey? Why do they call money, monkey? What's the point? I mean
animals don't even use money…
FRANKIE
I didn't make it up Lou; they did, so that's the password.
LOUIE
…Monkey?
FRANKIE
Yeah.
LOUIE
…Monkey?
FRANKIE
Yeah, monkey.
LOUIE
The password is Monkey?
FRANKIE
Yes! The fucking password is Monkey. Did I not make that clear or
something?
LOUIE
No, that's fine. Monkey!
He nods and takes a sip of his coke.
A man with a gun stands before LOUIE & FRANKIE, the man is scruffy and
obviously trying to rob these people's wallets for drug money, everyone
in the restaurant is silent and holding their hands in the air,
GUN GUY
Are you two pricks finished yet?
LOUIE & FRANKIE turn to see the guy with the gun now.
FRANKIE
(Calmly)
I'm sorry, did you want something?
GUN GUY
Your wallets, now! Cheese-dick!
In a split-second FRANKIE & LOUIE are on their feet and have their
pistols in the guy's face, cocked and ready to fire.
FRANKIE
Your wallet, now! Cheese-dick!
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – GLASGOW, NIGHT
A huge, fully decorated, Christmas tree, laden with Christmas presents.
The Living room is huge, a log fire with stockings hanging, the people
who live here, live comfortably.
A ray of light cuts through the darkness and MUSIC blasts through the
house as a young man dressed in a black-hooded jumper, trousers and hat
presses play on the CD player, he carries a sack full of valuables.
This is JACK, (20), handsomely cute.
CUT TO.
INT. BATHROOM - SAME
In the bathroom is JIMMY; he sits with his trousers around his ankles,
reading a paper on the toilet. He tries in vain to shout over the
volume over the music.
JIMMY
Jack! This isn't a disco!
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM - SAME
In the parent's bedroom, Jack is raiding the jewellery boxes and the
drawers as he continues to dance to the music.
CUT TO.
INT. BATHROOM
Jimmy sits on the toilet still.
JIMMY
Are you trying' to get us caught? Jack!
Jimmy reaches for the toilet paper – there is none!
JIMMY
Aw shite! Jack! Get me some toilet paper! Jack!
CUT TO.
INT. LIVING ROOM, SAME
Jack turns off the CD player. Jimmy can be heard screaming from
upstairs. Jack unplugs the CD player and lifts the CD too. We notice
now, that the rest of the room is empty of any valuables.
The TV and Video are gone.
With the CD player under his arm, Jack walks to the bottom of the
stairs and shouts up.
JACK
Hurry up, Jimmy!
JIMMY
Get me some toilet roll, ya wee bollix, ye!
JACK
Piss off!
JIMMY
Come on Jack! Get me somethin' would ye!
JACK
Right, I'll have a look.
JIMMY
Good and turn that shite off!
JACK
It is off!
(Under his breath)
Twat!
Jack walks into the kitchen to look for toilet roll; he sets the CD
player down on the worktop. He looks around the cupboards.
In the bathroom Jimmy is getting restless.
JIMMY
Come on!
Jack is having no luck finding it.
JACK
Are you sure you didn't steal it?
JIMMY (O.C)
Fuck off!
JACK
Use the newspaper!
…THE BATHROOM
JIMMY
Look I might be robbing these cunts blind, but I'm no about to wipe ma
arse wi' he's fuckin' sports pages, am I?
Walking back into the kitchen, Jack goes to pick up the CD player…
JACK
Fuck off!
As Jack picks up the CD player a light blinds his eyes. It's the car
headlights from the runway…they're back!
His face freezes.
JACK
(To himself)
Shite!
(Shouting)
Jimmy! Move yer shitty arse! They're back!
In the bathroom, Jimmy's face freezes too, 'shite'. He looks at the
paper and groans.
In the kitchen, Jack watches as the couple talk in the car and get out.
JACK
Jimmy! Move it
The couple are approaching the house.
JACK
Bollocks!
He runs for the stairway and runs upstairs as he hears the key in the
lock and bolts upstairs.
At the top of the stairs, Jimmy now has his trousers on and motions for
Jack to come into the bathroom as they hear the couple arrive
downstairs. He closes the door and turns off the light, as he locks the
door. The first thing that's apparent to Jack is the stench.
JACK
Aw for fuck sake! That's foul, ya smelly bastard!
JIMMY
Shhhh! It wouldn't flush! Open the window.
Jack tries to open the window but its stuck, 'fuck'!
JACK
It's stuck!
The couple can be heard coming upstairs, rather drunk.
They go to their room, giggling.
WOMAN (O.C)
You just get yourself ready. I'm going to freshen up.
Jack and Jimmy instantly look at each other in horror.
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM, SAME
The door opens as the WOMAN enters, a middle-aged, semi-attractive
lady. She wears an evening dress and she reeks of French perfume. She
twitches her nose at the pungent aroma of the bathroom.
On the other side of the shower curtain, Jack & Jimmy are hunched
together, trying to stay quiet.
The Woman looks down at JIMMY'S floater in the toilet and looks
puzzled, she sighs and tries to open the window to let in the air, but
she also finds it stuck.
She shrugs as she attempts to flush the toilet, it won't work. She
drunkenly shrugs her shoulders and lifts her dress and pulls down her
panties, sitting on the toilet.
She lets out a low groan of relief and then a very loud fart. She
giggles to herself.
On the other side of the curtain, Jack & Jimmy grimace, at the smell
and the disgust. The Woman has cleaned up and throws her dirty panties
in the bath as she leaves.
WOMAN (O.C)
Honey…?
In the bath, Jimmy & Jack manoeuvre around the soiled panties and creep
to the staircase, they can hear the couple giggling and fooling around.
They creep down the stairs as the music kicks in again.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT/EXT. VAN – CARPARK, EARLY MORNING
It's still dark. In a Drive-Thru car park, in the early hours of the
morning, a Transit van, white, with a sign painted on the side, sits
alone.
The sign reads – 'Washaways – Window Cleaning Services' then a phone
number. There is one set of ladders on the roof.
Jimmy & Jack sit in the van, Jimmy in the driver's seat. They eat
hamburgers and fries from cardboard boxes and sip milkshakes. Jimmy
looks annoyed with himself; he shifts in his seat.
JACK
Would you stop that!
JIMMY
Ma' arse is itchy!
JACK
At least it's clean! Do you mind, I'm tryin' tae eat here!
JIMMY
Yer an evil wee fucker, Jack Forry, dae ye' know that.
JACK
(Munching)
They were coming in the back door. So what if you wiped yer arse wi'
he's newspaper, I think he'll be more upset about his stereo and Nicam
TV.
JIMMY
Look, it's the morality of it, right! There is a fucken code, an honour
among thieves.
JACK
That guy wasn't a thief.
JIMMY
An honour among arseholes then, ye just don't wipe yer arse wi' another
man's toilet reading material alright!
JACK
So you can stink out his bog wi' yer nuclear wastage depository of an
arse and you can rob the bastard blind but you cannae wipe yer arse on
his Sunday Times!
The two males sit in silence, ignoring one another, before Jimmy breaks
the silence reluctantly.
JIMMY
So – who are you shagging this weather?
JACK
I'm still seeing Emma and you know it, ya fat bastard!
JIMMY
So ye're no shagging her then? She no' from around here or are ye just
slow?
Jack throws a box at him.
JACK
She stays around the corner from my Ma.
JIMMY
So ye are shagging then?
Jack looks at him, then smiles, we can tell he is.
Jimmy laughs.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Dirty wee shagger!
(Beat)
Did you grab the presents from under the tree?
Silence, then.
JACK
No.
JIMMY
How no?
JACK
It's Christmas, man. I remember when I was five years old and I woke up
all excited on Christmas morning. I ran downstairs to open my presents
– and they were gone! Someone had broken into the house and stole them.
BEAT.
JIMMY
Aye – eh, sorry about that Jack, I was a wee bit short that week,
y'know!
Jack spins around, a look of anger flashes across his face. Jimmy
flinches.
On the other side of the car park, sits a black BMW, the only other car
in the car park, inside are FRANKIE & LOUIE. LOUIE, in the passenger
seat plays a game on a mobile phone. He wears sunglasses and dresses
all in black, with a slightly balding patch.
FRANKIE sits in the driver's seat with a pair of binoculars.
They appear to be watching a house across the street, a rather large
house.
FRANKIE
He's been in that bathroom for over an hour! What can a guy possibly do
for an hour?
LOUIE
Well, he could - y'know...?
FRANKIE
You got a filthy mind Louie.
What is that? What...?
Grabs the phone off Louie…
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
Give me that! What's this?
Examines phone…
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
You're playing games! We happen to be on a stakeout here, Louie. That
is not the name of this month's all-you-can-eat buffet; it's a term for
when you observe a suspect! You got that…?
LOUIE
Francis...!
Frankie slaps Louie's head.
FRANKIE
Hey! Don't ever call me that, OK? My name is Frankie.
(Wiping his hands on Louie)
Now I gotta get a handy-wipe for my hands. Ya big greasy fuck! What am
I, a fuckin' moron!
LOUIE
No, you're not a moron, Frankie.
FRANKIE
I know I'm not a moron! It's not a fucking question ya big fuckin'
doorstop!
Frankie reaches over and opens the glove compartment.
A number of items fall out. Frankie picks up a bottle of
Glo-Gel, hair restorer.
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
What is this?
LOUIE
Uhm…that...that would be…
FRANKIE
Glo-Gel! Fuckin' hair restorer!
LOUIE
Yeh, it uh, it restores hair.
FRANKIE
I know what hair restorer is Lou, what am I, a fuckin' asshole.
LOUIE
No Frankie you're not an ass-hole.
FRANKIE
I know that you moron, it was rhetorical, do you know what that means,
re-to-ri-kal!
LOUIE
That's pronunciation, Frankie.
FRANKIE
Shuttup Louie! Just shuttup! OK?
LOUIE
I'm sorry.
FRANKIE
Forget it Lou, just...
Frankie turns to look out the window and turns back.
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
Lou, are you wearing sunglasses?
LOUIE
I...
FRANKIE
You are in a fuckin' car, it's minus fuckin' three degrees or something
out there and you're sittin' in a mother-fucking car, wearing fuckin' -
sunglasses! The sun isn't even out!
LOUIE
Can I have my phone back?
FRANKIE
What?
LOUIE
There's movement in the bathroom.
Frankie turns to look at the house, with his binoculars. The bathroom
light has been switched off and the house is in darkness.
FRANKIE
Of all the places this fuck had to come to, he had to come to -
England.
LOUIE
Scotland.
FRANKIE
…Whatever. It's cold, it's wet and there are men in skirts who don't
talk right!
LOUIE
Sounds like your parent's house on a weekend, Frankie.
(Off; Frankie's look)
I like it. It's beautiful. You ever see Braveheart?
FRANKIE
Fuck Braveheart! Get this, Mel Gibson guy, an Australian who lives in
America, acting as a Scotsman. What's that about?
LOUIE
Can't we just kill this guy?
FRANKIE
No Louie, we can't. This isn't Chicago; this isn't the fuckin'
Sopranos, OK? You can't just walk into a guy's house, say some cheesy
fuckin' line and pop some guy. Besides you know how I feel about
killin' when it's unnecessary.
LOUIE
Isn't this necessary?
FRANKIE
What do you think, Louie? This guy, he steals a half a million dollars
from our boss, he brings it all the way here to England…
LOUIE
Scotland.
FRANKIE
Whatever…He hides up in this big fuckin' house, taking hour-long shits!
Of course this is necessary! It's very fucking necessary. In fact,
before I leave, our Boss, he pulls me aside. He says, Frankie, this is
very fucking necessary! But like I say, you can't just go around
popping fuckers in the head.
He scans the car park and he spots the window cleaning van, he smiles.
CUT TO:
EXT. JACK'S HOUSE, LATER
The van pulls up outside Jack's house, a block of tenement flats,
crumbling, decaying piss-houses.
JIMMY
I'll pick you up about ten.
JACK
Its four days til Christmas, Jimmy. I'm gonna take tomorrow off, gotta
take my Maw out into town.
JIMMY
Oh…no problems, I'll see you later then.
JACK
See you.
Jack gets out and the van leaves as he walks away.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S BLOCK – HALLWAY, CONTINIUOUS
A dark and putrid hallway, a HOBO lies on the stairwell as Jack passes
by; he hands the last of his cola to the man and stops to unlock his
flat door.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S FLAT – LIVING ROOM
Jack enters the living room, his MOTHER, an elderly woman with grey
hair, once a fiery red is slouched, asleep on the couch.
Jack walks to the fireplace and places his keys on the mantle, he
notices a card addressed to him and he picks it up and opens it, it
reads…
EMMA (V.O)
Jack, I asked your Mother to give this to you, I'm not sure if she will
or not but it was the only way, I'm just not ready for a relationship
Jack, I'm sorry, I don't think we should see each other anymore…Love
Em.
Jack's face saddens and he crumples the letter up and throws it in the
bin, he lifts a shawl from the couch and places it over his MOTHER
caringly, before leaving.
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM, DAY
Jimmy sits on a toilet seat, trousers around his ankles while reading
the newspaper and grunting.
JIMMY
Aw come on tae fuck man, there goes ma coupon! That's gonna do fuckin'
wonders for my stress levels that is!
The phone starts to ring.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Aw shite, who's that?
The phone continues to ring.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Aye right let me finish a shite, eh!
He sighs.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM, SAME
Jimmy comes into the living room, trousers around his ankles, T-shirt
hanging down to cover him. He searches for the phone and answers it.
JIMMY
(Into the phone)
Aye right Jack let me shite in peace...Oh sorry, pal...aye that's me.
Aye...well, no usually...really! How Much? Well I'm sure I could
arrange something...aye pal, nae bother, nice doing business with you
pal, see you later.
He hangs up the phone and smiles to himself.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAR PARK, DAY
FRANKIE & LOUIE walk back to the car from the Pay-phone.
LOUIE
So, what's the plan, you just provided us with witnesses to the guy's
death you moron!
FRANKIE
Excuse me! Are you getting brave now Louie? I have not inadvertently
provided us with two-sharp-witted witnesses Lou.
Pausing…
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
I have provided two-dim-witted patsies. Window cleaners make noise,
they're noticed, especially in this area, so the neighbours see these
guys go in, an hour later the guy's dead and what do they tell the
cops…?
…Beat.
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
…They say, they saw two scruffy window washing scumbags enter the
premises and they have never been here before, hence while these guys
are being pulled into the Police Station, me and you, are enjoying
first class on the flight home with Mr Novato's cash. Get the plan?
Louie nods.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, NIGHT
JIMMY staggers home drunk, with a giggling tart, her name is SHARON.
They stumble into her building.
CUT TO:
INT. SHARON'S FLAT – BEDROOM – LATER
Through the bedroom door, we see the couple drunk, fall in the front
door.
SHARON
I'll just slip into something more comfortable…
She giggles drunkenly and stumbles to the bathroom as JIMMY enters the
bedroom, looking around he sits on the bed and screws up his face as he
sits on something, standing up he looks on the bed and sees a huge
dildo, he picks it up and looks at it in disgust, turning to the door
he sees SHARON standing there, she looks to the dildo and then to
JIMMY, she raises her eyebrows suggestively.
CUT TO:
EXT. SHARON'S BUILDING – MINUTES LATER
JIMMY hurriedly exits the building, pulling his coat on and shouting up
to her window.
JIMMY
Ya mad bitch!
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, NIGHT
JACK walks along the street, talking to himself.
JACK
Emma, I won't take no for an answer…No…Emma, I need you…Nah…Emma, you
complete me…Fuck off!
He stops, arriving at his destination, the corner of Emma's street; he
looks over at a nice house, just off the road. He takes a deep breath…
JACK (CONT'D)
Emma…I love you.
He goes to walk to her house when he looks up at the door as it opens
and a pretty young girl, we imagine to be EMMA, exits with a young man
on her arm, she gets into a flashy car with him and they speed away,
leaving JACK alone.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. GARDEN – STREET, DAY
JIMMY stands at the bottom of a set of ladders, holding them…
JIMMY
…Listen, women…are like buses. See, they're supposed to be along at
regular intervals but you wait ages for one and then two come along at
once and you always end up getting the wrong one, which costs that wee
bit more, smells like piss and there's always about three other guys
riding the fucker!
…JACK stands precariously on top of the ladders, cleaning a window.
JACK
Jimmy, I don't want to hear your pearls of wisdom, alright? Now just
hold the fucking ladder, will you.
JIMMY
Just hurry up then. I need these ladders.
JACK
Y'know this would be a lot bloody easier, if you'd get two sets of
ladders!
JIMMY
I'm only borrowing them Jack lad, anyway, it's about economising,
'innit? Do you know how much these ladders cost?
JACK
No and neither do you, you stole them from wee Tel.
JIMMY
Don't talk shite, lad.
JACK
You did. I mind him chasing you down the street; he was just too old to
catch you.
JIMMY
Bollocks! I never!
JACK
Aye you bloody did, remember, he had a three-legged dog and it tried to
chase you as well but it just kept going in circles!
JIMMY sniggers a little as he remembers.
JACK
You're a bastard, y'know that and anyway as senior partner in this
business I deserve ladders.
JIMMY
Partner, my shite-hole! You're an apprentice, pal!
JACK
Aw I forgot I've still to scale the professional heights and skills of
window cleaning.
JIMMY
Don't get cheeky! This is a good profession.
JACK
A good cover, you mean.
JIMMY
What kind of profession are you in to then, eh? Professional bawbag!
JACK
F1 racing, I'm gonna be the next Michael Schumacher. I love the speed,
the wind in my hair!
JIMMY
The wind in yer arse is more like it! Jack, you don't have a license,
how are you gonna drive an F1?
JACK
…Details Jimmy, just details.
JIMMY shrugs his shoulders and laughs to himself.
CUT TO:
EXT. MANSION – CAR – DAY - LATER.
JIMMY & JACK approach the house carrying ladders, they're being
watched, PAN back to the two Italian's in the car. Frankie watches them
from binoculars.
He looks to the house where the guys are climbing the ladders.
CUT TO:
EXT. BACK DOOR – SAME
JIMMY comes to the back door and rings the bell.
Nobody answers. JIMMY waits around.
JIMMY
Hello? Anyone home…?
JIMMY pushes the door and it opens, he steps inside.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Hello? Hello? Mate?
JIMMY walks into a large lounge room; on the couch is a large…
…SPORTS BAG…
…lying unopened stuffed full of AMERICAN DOLLARS, JIMMY does a double-
take and looks at the bag.
Carefully looking around, he makes sure he's alone, before walking over
to the bag; he pulls the bag fully open and looks at the money.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Fuck me!
He looks around, there is nobody around, JIMMY lifts some of the money
and flicks through it, he smiles, a door creaks behind him and he spins
around to see a man standing in the doorway.
MR HENRY CALLHAN,(44), receding-hair, swollen belly, he looks shocked
to see this man in his home with his cash, he looks to the nearby
coffee table, a HANDGUN is placed on the table.
JIMMY follows the man's gaze to the coffee table and sees the GUN.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Oh hey, wait a minute!
Both men run for the GUN at the same time, JIMMY crashes into the
table, knocking the GUN over, CALLAHAN gets up as JIMMY reaches for the
GUN and runs for him, as he leaps at JIMMY, there is a loud bang as the
GUN goes off.
JIMMY sits up and CALLAHAN slumps to the floor, JIMMY looks at his
blood soaked hands.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Aw shite!
JIMMY stands up, gun in hand, he looks to the body and to the money and
the choice is clear, he grabs the bag and runs.
CUT TO:
EXT. MANSION - SIDE.
JACK is at the bottom of the ladder as JIMMY runs around the corner
with bag in hand.
JIMMY
Get in the bloody car now!
JACK
What the fuck!
JIMMY
Move ya daft bastard!
It doesn't take much to get JACK to follow his boss to the car.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAYBY, DAY - LATER.
Jimmy's battered old car sits in a Layby near a petrol station. Both
men sit astounded in the front seat.
JACK
Three words Jim. 'What-the-fuck?'
Jimmy pulls the gun from beside his seat.
JIMMY
This Jackie boy, is a very big fucken gun, this very big fucken gun was
pointed at my not so big-fucken-head and was a split mili-second from
creating what would be called a very big fucken hole in my lovely
cheekbones, understand!
BEAT…
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Now I may have just shot someone, so…I think it's understandable that I
am a little fucken peeved off! Note my extensive use of the word
'fucken' in a sarcastic tone!
JACK
Why was the customer pointing a gun at your head?
JIMMY
I don't bloody know, maybe he didn't want to pay. Maybe you left
streaks on his bloody windaes!
JACK
Jimmy, as irritating a first impression as you may leave on someone,
pulling a gun is a little premature.
JIMMY looks at JACK.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAR - BOOT
The back boot opens and JACK & JIMMY look in, JACK'S jaw drops, we see
the money bag in the boot.
JACK
Wow!
JIMMY
I know.
He shuts the boot.
JACK
How much?
JIMMY
I reckon, at a sheer guess, half a million dollars!
JACK
Fuck me! This is a little bit more than your average stunt, here Jimmy,
this does not involve a herd of cows and a dodgy cattle prod, this is…
Whispering…
JACK (CONT'D)
This is murder - and theft!
JIMMY
Don't you think I bloody know that! I didn't try to shoot the cunt!
JACK
Aw was it just a lucky shot then?
JIMMY
It was a bloody accident Jack.
JACK
What now?
JIMMYU
Well I don't want to go to jail, do you?
JACK
Me? I didn't shoot anyone!
JIMMY
You were there Jack.
JACK
You bastard!
JIMMY
Woah! I don't make the rules Jack, but if you stay, cops will come
lookin for you, so what's it gonna be?
JACK looks at JIMMY, it's a hard decision, and he looks away.
FADE TO:
INT. COUNCIL ESTATE, DAY - LATER.
JACK posts a letter through a door; it's addressed to 'Mum'. He walks
away.
FADE TO:
INT. GLASGOW AIRPORT, DAY – TERMINAL - LATER.
Louie & Frankie are walking through the airport, briefcase in hand and
Louie wearing sunglasses and a long leather jacket and dressed all in
black. They look very unhappy.
FRANKIE
I don't fuckin' believe this Louie; I do not believe this dumb-shit
luck country! What's wrong with these people, you give them a job
washing windows, a respectable living, what do they do? - Steal our
fuckin' money!
LOUIE
Chill out Frankie.
FRANKIE
What! 'Chill out!' what's wrong with you Louie, what's with this huh?
You're still wearing sunglasses! What is this? Get Shorty?
As the two walk into the terminal, another two arguing young men turn
the corner a few minutes behind them, carrying a large sports bag.
JACK
How'd I let you talk me into this Jimmy?
JIMMY
…Because…I'm here to look out for ye Jack.
JACK
America!
They turn into the terminal and board the plane.
CUT TO:
INT. AIRPLANE, DAY - LATER.
LOUIE & FRANKIE sit in uncomfortable airplane seats; Louie is still
wearing his huge leather jacket. Meals are being handed out.
FRANKIE struggles with his plastic-boxed, plastic-tasting meal.
FRANKIE
Hate these fucken second class meals, plastic fork, plastic spoon,
plastic box, plastic fucken meals.
He gives up on the meal; LOUIE takes it from him and opens it with
ease.
LOUIE
You really should calm down Frankie.
FRANKIE
Shuttup Louie, just shuttup! Why are you still wearing that jacket?
It's boiling hot on this bucket!
LOUIE stands up.
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
Where are you going?
LOUIE
…The men's room.
FRANKIE shakes his head.
CUT TO:
INT. AIRPLANE - SAME
Further up the plane, in first class, JIMMY & JACK are living it up
with huge padded seats and great meals, a hostess brings JIMMY a huge
cocktail with umbrellas et al.
JIMMY
Merci, Madame.
JACK
Don't you think this would come under drawing attention to ourselves
Jimmy?
JIMMY
Aw lighten up Jack, a little piece of happiness is good for the soul
and these cocktails are good for spirit, that hostess is lookin' better
by the half glass.
He takes another sip.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
…Anyway I've told you before, we couldn't keep doing the window
cleaning malarky, I mean the bloody gangsters could come in anytime and
just decide to take it over…and that what! Eh? We'd be fucked!
JACK
Gangsters…?
JIMMY
Aye…the Glasgow Mob!
JACK
The Glasgow Mob! Taking over a small town window run? Aye and maybe the
Triads or the Mafia would come in and kick the bucket over and give you
a suitcase full of money to piss off!
JIMMY
I don't know why you're laughing, I'm serious! I'm not in this business
anymore, now I can finally realise my dream of being a record producer,
Love-Town Central Records. Managed by Mr Geo Sharvalley.
JACK
Who…?
JIMMY
Me.
JACK
Fine, so what happens when we get to America huh?
JIMMY
All in good time Jackie boy, these drinks are working my bladder, think
a trip to the ladies is in order, he he.
JIMMY gets up and walks through a curtain to the toilets as the door
opens he bumps into - LOUIE!
LOUIE
Oh, sorry.
JIMMY
Nae bother pal.
LOUIE walks on and JIMMY goes into the toilet, neither of them the
wiser.
CUT TO:
EXT. FLORIDA, DAY - AIRPORT.
The plane lands on the runway.
CUT TO:
EXT. AIRPORT - BUS TERMINAL
JACK & JIMMY exit the airport with a trolley full of duty free and
their sports bag, JIMMY wears designer shades.
JACK
Now what?
JIMMY
Transport!
JIMMY smiles and they walk towards a car for hire sign. As they walk
away, LOUIE & FRANKIE exit the airport and get into a waiting car.
CUT TO:
EXT. AIRPORT - HIRE CAR, LATER
A flash sports car speeds out of the car-park at an amazing speed.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR - SAME
In the car, JIMMY driving furiously and JACK sitting in the passenger
seat flicking through the radio channels.
JACK
Once again the subject of drawing attention to ourselves comes to mind.
JIMMY
Relax Jack. We're loaded!
CUT TO:
INT. BLACK CAR - SAME
LOUIE & FRANKIE sit in the back of the taxi.
FRANKIE
How are we gonna explain this to Mr. Novato, huh? How?
CUT TO:
INT. CAR – HIGHWAY, DAY - LATER
JACK is tense, he can't relax, JIMMY is relaxed enough for both of
them.
JIMMY
You have to learn tae relax Jack lad. We've got money now, we're
minted! It's time to party!
JACK
We just killed somebody Jim! Don't you get that?!?
JIMMY
Hey! Haw, I never killed anybody, OK? It was an accidental shooting,
OK?
JACK
…Whatever.
JIMMY
Right, moany arse, we are gonna get a smile on your face by force if
need be.
They pass by a HITCHER holding his hand out; JIMMY slams on the brakes
and begins to reverse back…
JACK
What are you doing?
JIMMY
…Picking up the weirdo.
JACK
Are you mad? He's a hitch-hiker, he could be anybody; you can't just
pick him up!
JIMMY
Don't be daft! I'm sure he's nice, I cannae just leave him standing
there, can I? That wouldn't be very nice.
JACK shakes his head as the car pulls up beside the HITCHER, a tall man
with short blonde-hair, piercing blue eyes and a thin gaunt face,
clean-shaven and smartly-dressed.
JIMMY
Alright pal, where are you headed?
HITCHER
…Wherever the world takes me, my friend.
JIMMY
Well, eh, we're stopping off in Florida tonight and then off to
California tomorrow, that alright?
HITCHER
That would be great, thankyou.
JIMMY
Hop in then buddy.
The HITCHER jumps in the back and they drive away.
Inside the car JACK shakes his head as they drive along.
JIMMY
So what's your name then pal?
HITCHER
Thomas. Thomas O'Shea.
JIMMY
That's a good Irish name that, where are you from?
THOMAS (HITCHER)
Boston.
JIMMY
Well Tommy frae Boston, I'm Jimmy and this is Jack; do you like a wee
drink now and then?
CUT TO:
INT. THE RED SQUARE BAR, NIGHT
…A cool, airy nightspot, with lots of air conditioning and bottled
beers.
JACK, JIMMY and the HITCHER approach the bar, the bartender, a heavy
shaped man, approaches them.
BARTENDER
What can I get you fellas?
JIMMY
Three pints of lager please pal.
BARTENDER
Excuse me?
JIMMY
Three pints of lager!
BARTENDER
You're not from around here are you?
JIMMY
(Agitated)
Nice of you to notice pal, and there I was tryin' to blend in as well!
Like I said; three lagers!
HITCHER
I think he means three beers friend.
JIMMY
Aye, the man's right, two-o cervasa-o, Mon ami!
The BARTENDER leaves and hands the guys two bottles of beer. JIMMY
smiles to himself, proud.
CUT TO:
INT. THE RED SQUARE BAR, NIGHT — LATER
At another part of the bar, JACK is waiting for a drink, it's quite
busy and he's trying hard to get noticed.
JACK
Excuse me? Excuse me? Hey!
Finally the BARTENDER answers.
BARTENDER
Hey there, got any ID?
JACK
…Uh…ID?
BARTENDER
Stop wasting my time, legal age is twenty-one here, son. Come back in a
few years.
The BARTENDER serves someone else and JACK turns away, dejected. From
behind him, a girl speaks…
ANGEL (O.C)
I can get you a drink, if you want?
He turns to see ANGEL, the pop-star from TV, a stunning vision of
absolute beauty. She sits on a stool, sipping on a cointreau and
lemonade.
JACK
Aye and how do you plan on doing that? You're not twenty-one!
ANGEL
Shhhh, it's a secret.
She smiles at him and instantly we see the chip lift off his shoulder
and he smiles back, if instant love is possible then that is what he is
experiencing.
ANGEL
So what can I get you, handsome?
JACK
Uhm…your name?
She blushes a little and looks away.
ANGEL
It's Jennifer, and what's yours 'Guy with the cute accent'?
JACK
…Ehm…Jack…mostly.
ANGEL
What'll it be Jack 'Mostly'?
JACK
Just a beer thanks.
She shouts to the BARTENDER.
ANGEL
Harry…two beers!
(Re: Jack)
So where does that accent come from?
JACK
Scotland.
ANGEL
I hear it's beautiful there.
JACK
No where I come from, it's just like anywhere else, full of idiots
who'd rather piss their life away in a gutter than make something of
their selves.
At that point JIMMY butts in on the conversation. Speaking in a funny
posh accent and trying to be charming.
JIMMY
Jack, we gotta go buddy. Oh! Who's your lovely lady friend?
JACK rolls his eyes.
JACK
This is Jennifer. Listen, did you know I can't get fucking served in
this country, twenty-ones the age limit!
ANGEL
Hi.
JACK
Jennifer, this is…
JIMMY
Geo…Geo Sharvalley. I'm a record producer for a big label…mine,
actually. We produce big dance tunes for the clubs and DJ's and stuff
y'know.
The girl nods, along, she isn't taking any of this in at all.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
I'm over here on some business actually, looking for some new talent,
in fact; maybe we could talk over dinner…?
ANGEL
…About what?
JIMMY
…Your career, darling.
JACK
Jimmy…!
JIMMY
Just a minute, Jack, I'm talking with the lovely lady here.
JACK
Jimmy…
JIMMY
Jack!
JACK
Jimmy this is Angel…
JIMMY
Well she sure looks like one.
JACK
No, I mean, her name is Angel.
JIMMY
You just said it was Jennifer ya daft monkey!
JACK
No, Angel, as in the one name.
JIMMY
I'm sure she's got a second name, Jack.
JACK
No, as in Angel, the fucking Pop-star! Ya toss-bag!
ANGEL seems a little hurt, she didn't think he knew who she was, JIMMY
smiles.
JIMMY
Oh! Well how you doing, darling? Nice to meet you, fancy a wee bevvy
sometime?
JACK
Jimmy, you might wanna get your answer some other time, cos there is
two huge cunts headed this way and I don't think they like Angel
talking to strangers, know whit I mean!
JACK points to two heavy-set bodyguards headed towards them.
JIMMY
(Re: Bartender)
Haw! Whit do ye mean he canny get fuckin served in here, whit's your
problem ya big wank!
JIMMY grabs a chair and throws it at the BODYGUARDS, then turns to
ANGEL.
JIMMY
Oh! Well, lovely to meet you Miss Angel Pop star, we must do this again
some time.
(Turning)
Leg it, Jackie boy.
JIMMY turns heel and runs, dragging JACK with him, but JACK manages one
last glance towards ANGEL before he goes and he smiles, she smiles
back.
JIMMY and JACK run past THOMAS, he downs his drink and follows them.
The BODYGUARDS reach ANGEL; the head-guard speaks to her, this is
SHARPE, her personal watcher.
SHARPE
What are you doing, talking to those guys, they could be anyone, this
isn't Disney Land, your Step-Father will not be happy with this!
ANGEL
Oh, fuck off!
He scowls at her and then gives chase to JACK & JIMMY, he turns to one
GUARD.
SHARPE
Stay with her, don't let out of your sight.
CUT TO:
EXT. RED SQUARE BAR, EARLY MORNING
…JIMMY, JACK and THOMAS crash through the bar doors and into the fresh
morning light.
Just then SHARPE and his men exit the bar and head towards JIMMY.
They run for the car and jump in, speeding away from SHARPE, last-
minute.
CUT TO.
INT. BLACK CAR, DAY
FRANKIE & LOUIE sit in the back seat of a black car with tinted windows
and leather seats.
FRANKIE
What are we gonna tell Mr. Novato, Lou. He's gonna fuckin' freak if he
finds out that two fucking window lickin' pricks stole his money right
from under our noses.
LOUIE
Well maybe he won't mind, I mean he is on holiday. I hear Florida is
lovely.
FRANKIE
You're here Louie! This is fucken Florida! And just because he's on a
relaxing holiday in the fucken golden state don't mean he ain't gonna
use our bodies to line his new fucking beamer! You try me sometimes
Lou, you really do.
LOUIE
I'm sorry Frankie, I just thought that…
FRANKIE
You don't think Lou; you have a fuckin dancing monkey for a brain!
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, DAY
JIMMY'S CAR, in an empty car park, Jimmy sits at the driver's seat, and
he swelters in the heat. In the b.g JACK is on the phone, pacing around
in a tiny call box. THOMAS is absent, a Gas station in the background;
maybe he's gone for groceries.
…AT THE PAY PHONE.
JACK talks on the phone; we hear a loud nagging woman's voice over the
phone – Jack's MOTHER.
…Indecipherable nagging.
JACK
(Into the phone)
Mum, I know. Look…aye…I'm sorry, I can explain! Actually I can't,
but…no I'm no in trouble, Mum…no, no Jimmy isn't here…well? Okay, okay
I swear. Okay…bye.
(Winces)
Love you too.
He hangs up the phone and walks away. He approaches the car and gets
in.
JACK
Where's Thomas?
JIMMY
Went to the bank, needed some cash.
JACK
Well that's one thing we don't need.
JIMMY
How's Mum then? She miss me?
JACK
Not fucken likely!
BEAT…
JACK (CONT'D)
How long's he been gone?
JIMMY
…Bout ten-fifteen minutes.
They both look around, bored.
JACK
What are we gonna do with this money?
JIMMY
Actually, I was gonna bury it and draw up a wee map for travellers to
find in years to
Come; set up some booby traps to kill them before they find it, know
what I mean?
BEAT.
Jimmy laughs.
JACK
Yer not fucken funny ya daft prick!
JIMMY
Aw lighten up, we're gonna spend it.
Suddenly an alarm goes off at the bank across the road. JACK & JIMMY
turn to look at the Bank as the doors burst open and THOMAS bursts out
the doors dragging a young sun-bleached girl in short shorts and pumps.
The girl is familiar; it's ANGEL.
JACK looks to JIMMY, 'I told you so.' JIMMY starts up the car and
drives off, but he brakes suddenly half-way down the road as THOMAS
drags the girl to catch up with them.
JACK
What the fuck are you doing! Why did you stop?
JIMMY
He could have a gun, Jack.
JACK
You've got a gun Jimmy, a very big fucken gun, remember?
JIMMY
I don't know how to use it, do I!
JACK
Well, you did a good job on that bloody guy! Anyway, we are in a sports
car, I think we could have out-run him!
They look in the mirror to where they see THOMAS almost reaching them.
JIMMY
Fuck it!
JIMMY speeds forward again. JACK looks in the mirror and sees that it
is ANGEL that THOMAS has in his hands. He screams out.
JACK
Wait!
JIMMY slams on the brakes again; sirens can be heard in the near
distance.
JIMMY
What the fuck is it now?
JACK
The girl, it's her, Angel…the girl from the bar…the popstar!
JIMMY
…About that. I wish you would have told me sooner, there's me telling
her that I'm a record producer and I can boost her career, when there
she is already the world's richest pop tart, she might have fucken telt
me!
JACK nudges him to be quiet as THOMAS and ANGEL reach the car and climb
in.
THOMAS
Cheers boys, now it might be advisable to step on that accelerator and
no braking this time!
JIMMY raises his eyebrows and speeds off as several squad cars burst
onto the scene behind him.
The car speeds around a corner, several squad cars in hot pursuit.
JIMMY
Shite! Why does this fucken pish always happen to me!!!
JACK
Because you're an arse!
THOMAS
Could one of you boys just drive please! I'm in a bit of a sweat over
the several squad cars up our ass right now!
ANGEL
Oh, don't mind me. I'm just an unwilling hostage. Do record producers
always do part-time work as get-away drivers for the criminally insane?
JIMMY
…Only on weekend's, darlin'.
The car speeds by and the BLACK CAR pulls out behind it, unaware of the
squad car that crashes into its side.
Inside the BLACK CAR, LOUIE and FRANKIE are rocked to the floor.
FRANKIE
What the fu…!
JIMMY'S sports car speeds off, the Police close behind.
THOMAS
The city limits are five minutes away, all you have to do is get across
them.
JIMMY
…And where the fuck would they be?
ANGEL
Hello, you just kidnapped a world famous pop singer and attempted to
rob a bank! I don't think city limits will bother these people, you
can't run! They will have alerted every Sheriff in the Tri-State Area!
JIMMY shares a look with JACK…
JACK
She's right, why don't we just drop her off somewhere…
(Looking To Thomas)
…And him too, while we're at it.
THOMAS does not appreciate this and he holds his gun to JACK'S head.
THOMAS
Watch that tongue boy!
JIMMY
Haw! Do you mind? I'm trying to drive here, put that fucking thing
away!
THOMAS withdraws the gun.
JACK
Thanks for your concern Jimmy. Prick!
JIMMY
Aw, fuck this!!!
JIMMY pulls the handbrake and swerves right; down a side alley, which
is very narrow and almost touching the sides of the streamlined car.
The cop cars are unable to follow and stop at the entrance, blocking
it.
JACK
Jimmy, what the fuck are you doing?
JIMMY
Getting us out of this fucken mess!
Another squad car pulls up at the other side, blocking their exit.
JIMMY keeps going.
JACK
Now what?
JIMMY continues to drive straight toward the squad car.
JACK
Jimmy, what are you doing?
JIMMY stays silent, putting the foot down.
THOMAS
James?
The car is only several feet away from the squad car now, JIMMY'S
resolve holds, while the others panic.
ALL
Jimmy!!!
Suddenly Jimmy pulls the hand-brake and turns a sharp right into an
opening, a parking garage.
CUT TO:
INT. PARKING GARAGE, CONTINIOUS
The car speeds through the garage, turning each corner sharply, JIMMY
slows the car down a little and looks towards a flashy, fast but
slightly more, roomy car and smiles.
JIMMY
Everybody out!
He parks the car and gets out, the others follow.
THOMAS
What the fuck is going on Jimmy?
JIMMY
The Police are gonna be covering all the exits to this place alright
and if we try to leave in that Porsche we are gonna end up getting
shafted in a six by two by Florida's finest, therefore we are taking
this little beauty over here and getting tae fuck!
(Looking to the Porsche trunk)
Jack.
JACK goes to the trunk to retrieve the money bag.
JIMMY takes some tools from the Porsche and gets to work on the lock of
the other car.
ANGEL
What the fuck are you guys? The A-Team?
JIMMY
Window Cleaners, actually!
ANGEL
How can you expect to get past the police, they'll recognise you.
JIMMY
How will they do that sweetheart, when they've never seen our faces?
Beat…
ANGEL
They'll recognize mine.
JIMMY looks to JACK, then THOMAS and finally they all look at ANGEL.
ANGEL
What?
They turn to see three tourists enter the car-park, wearing goofy hats
and Hawaiian shirts.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARKING GARAGE, DAY – LATER
The new car pulls up to the exit, Police guarding the gate; they stop
the car and take a look inside.
Inside the car, JIMMY is driving, he wears large mirrored glasses and a
funky old man's cap and an "I heart USA" t-shirt". JACK sits in the
passenger seat with a backwards cap and wacky shirt on and in the back
sits THOMAS, with the most awkward-looking Hawaiian shirt on and a hat
with hands on the top. They all smile at the Officers as goofy as
possible. No sign of ANGEL. JIMMY speaks to the OFFICER in a very bad
Swedish accent.
OFFICER
How you boys doin'? Is this your car?
JIMMY
We from Sveden.
He gives him a large smile.
OFFICER
Well…that's very nice, I'm happy for you boys. You wouldn't happen to
have seen anything strange going on in the car-park this morning would
you? We're looking for someone, they have a very important hostage and
it's of the upmost importance that we find them, so if you could give
us any information that might help? These men are very dangerous!
JIMMY
Danger! Oooh, scary, yah! Like movie? Bang-bang, shoot-shoot, argh!
Yah?
(Laughing)
No…we see na-fink!
(Beat)
We from Sveden.
The OFFICER looks in to the car a little more.
OFFICER
Have you boys been drinking?
JIMMY'S face drops and he steps on the accelerator and speeds away from
the Police, the OFFICER realises his mistake and signals to the others
and they gave chase once again.
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S CAR, CONTINIOUS
The silly shades off; JIMMY is driving like a maniac now.
JIMMY
Shite!
JACK
Great plan Jimmy, fucking Sweden!
JIMMY
Do not start me right now Jack, do not fucking start!
Behind them the Police follow close behind, the car narrowly escapes
pedestrians and obstacles as JACK & JIMMY argue with one another.
JACK
Honestly, are you trying to get us caught, with shit like that?
JIMMY
Where was your ingenious plan then? Eh? At what point were you gonna
step in and save the fucking day!
JACK
You know what…fuck you Jimmy! Fuck you!
JIMMY
Fuck me! Fuck me! I got three little words for you Jack.
JACK
Oh aye! What's that?
(Imitating)
I from Sveden…I know nuthink.
JIMMY
Kiss ma fucking chookies!
JACK
That's four.
JIMMY
Fuck you.
THOMAS
Guys! We are in the middle of a high speed chase; you wanna leave the
domestic till a later time?
JACK
We left Scotland to get away from the fucking Police, Jimmy. Now we've
got the entire US Police force after us, because you picked up a bank
robber, who stole a shit load of money and took the world's most famous
face hostage! I've got words for you, Damage Limitation. Or how about
Customer Relations! For a start it helps if you don't shoot the
bastards!
THOMAS
Actually I didn't get any money.
JACK
You robbed a bank and you didn't get any money? What kind of bank
robber are you?
JIMMY
Listen, I don't think this is time to question anyone's Job
Description, OK!
JIMMY and JACK stare each other out a little and then JIMMY looks back
to the road and concentrates on escaping the police.
CUT TO:
INT. TONY'S DINER – FLORIDA – SAME
LOUIE & FRANKIE are sitting at a booth in a diner; FRANKIE is agitated
about telling the boss.
FRANKIE
What's taking him so long? Why's he taking so long Frankie, huh? I mean
what's he gotta do that's so important? Our funeral arrangements,
that's what!
Beat…
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
While we sit here waiting, he's got some heavies around the back with a
shovel and a tarpaulin in the trunk. Some lime-pits dug in a quarry in
the fuckin' desert! I don't like sand Louie, it gets everywhere, in
your hair, your clothes…you ever have sand in your mouth Lou? Ever have
sand in your fuckin' crotch, it's itchy, and it…well I guess if we're
dead it ain't gonna matter, but…
Noticing Louie's look…
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
What? What you looking at me like that for? I have sand issues OK? You
got a problem wit' that Louie? What? I got fuckin' sand issues, what?
You better wipe that look of your face Lou; I'm fixing to smack your
ass! A guy can't have issues or something?
LOUIE
I'm looking at the TV.
FRANKIE
Yeah sure you are, looking at the TV! What you looking at on the
fucking TV?
LOUIE
There's a high-speed chase going on, some Swedish guys robbed a bank
and kidnapped a pop star!
FRANKIE turns to look over his shoulder at a TV on a wall-mount in the
corner. His face drops.
ON THE TV SCREEN
Is an artist's impression of JIMMY!!! Then there is a view of the chase
from a helicopter.
IN THE DINER
FRANKIE recognizes the face…
FRANKIE
That ain't no fuckin' Swede! That's the fuckin Scottish fuck that stole
our fuckin' money!
LOUIE
Nah, that can't be, I saw that guy on the plane.
FRANKIE
You what? You saw this fuck on the airplane and you didn't say
nothing…? Are you a fuckin' idiot or something Lou?
LOUIE
I didn't know what the guy looked like.
FRANKIE
Come on, we gotta get to these guys before the cops do.
FRANKIE & LOUIE get up and leave the diner.
CUT TO:
EXT. SHARPE'S CAR, DAY
SHARPE is driving ferociously trying to keep p with the Police that are
chasing JIMMY. He has two small pieces of paper stuck up his nose to
clot the bleeding from a bloody nose and he is talking over speaker
phone in the car to the very angry voice of ANGEL'S step-father (MR
BANKS).
SHARPE
…Yes Sir, I understand that you're upset, your daughter is missing
after-all.
BANKS
(Speaker-phone)
I am aware of that Sharpe you dip-shit, just how did she get kidnapped
is what I'd like to know?
SHARPE
…Actually she did escape us on purpose before the incident occurred,
Sir.
BANKS
(Speaker-phone)
…And how the hell did she manage that?
SHARPE
Well she punched me in the nose, Sir. She is quite strong!
BANKS
(Speaker-phone)
Strong! She's a seventeen year-old girl you fucking pussy, what the
hell am I paying you for! Get that little bitch back here now!
Understand!
SHARPE
Well actually, that may be harder than we thought. We're not sure where
there are, they crossed the state line Sir, but I can assure you, she
will be found. These bank robbers will not get away with it!
BANKS
(Speaker-phone)
You better not!
The line goes and SHARPE rubs his face in anxiety.
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S CAR – MCDONALD'S DRIVE-THRU – LATER
The car pulls up at the drive-thru, the three guys still in the car,
ANGEL nowhere to be seen.
JIMMY
I think we lost them now, right?
THOMAS
For now, but we'll have to keep moving.
JIMMY
Well I gotta eat first…
The car pulls up to the speaker and JIMMY leans out to give his order
but no-one speaks through the intercom.
Silence…then eventually…
INTERCOM
Good Afternoon, how can I help you?
JIMMY laughs to himself and smiles, looking at JACK.
JACK
Aw, Jimmy, no! Not again.
JIMMY turns to the INTERCOM.
JIMMY
Aye, I would like a portion of salt, with a little drop of the coldest,
skinniest fries you can find and a large cup of water with just a drop
of coke and a shit load of ice and I'd like the shittiest, over-cooked
burger you've got and make sure it looks nothing like the picture…and
uh…you guys want anything?
JACK & THOMAS shake their heads.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
No, that's all. Oh and I'd like it in about an hour and a half and I'd
like to pay through the nose for it, is that OK?
Silence…
INTERCOM
Uhm… I'm not sure I understand Sir.
JIMMY
No, I didn't think you would ya spotty fuckin geek!
The car pulls away.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT.CAR TRUNK, DAY – LATER
ON BLACK; inside the trunk of the car, the trunk opens and we see JIMMY
sipping on a cup of coke from MCDONALDS. JACK & THOMAS stand behind
him.
JIMMY
Hello there sweetheart.
JIMMY smiles. ANGEL lies in the trunk, her eyes squinting in the
sunlight, she looks pissed.
ANGEL
Not fucking funny asshole! It's hot in there and it smells and you left
me in there for a very long fucking time and…
JIMMY shakes his head and shuts the trunk on ANGEL, mid-sentence.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAYBY, DAY
FRANKIE & LOUIE sit in a huge black beamer in a lay-by at the side of
the road; FRANKIE wrestles with a large over-sized map.
FRANKIE
You're a frikkin idiot, Lou! That's what you are, y'know that? A
frikkin moron!
LOUIE
I told you before we left; I'm not good with maps.
FRANKIE
Not good! You're hopeless, where the hell is we? We don't even know
where we're fucken headed, why are we even looking at a map?
LOUIE
…Because we're lost.
FRANKIE
You think I don't know that Louie? I know that, OK! Whose fault is it
that we're lost! It's not mine, Lou. Did I get us lost, no? Well whose
fault is it? Oh, I don't know, hum, maybe Louie's? Yeah, that's right!
Fuckin Louie! We'll never find them at this rate! We need that money!
CUT TO:
EXT. MOTEL, NIGHT
JACK sits alone outside a cheap motel; he looks sad and lonely, like
something is missing.
ANGEL walks out of a doorway and breathes in the night air; she looks
over at JACK and walks towards him, sitting down next to him on the
wall.
ANGEL
Hey.
JACK
Hey.
ANGEL
Whatcha doing?
JACK
Just thinking…
ANGEL
Shouldn't do too much of that, gets you in trouble.
JACK
No, Jimmy gets me in trouble.
ANGEL
Yeah, so what are you thinking about then?
JACK
…Home.
ANGEL
You miss it?
JACK
…No, I hate the place, all my life all I ever wanted was to get out of
there, now look at me! I'm just worried about my Ma, she needs me…Not
in the sense that she actually needs me, she can take care of herself
but I like to feel like she needs me.
ANGEL
So why'd you leave her?
JACK
Jimmy. He needs me. I guess I kinda feel responsible for him, strange
huh? It's just that deep down I know he's a good guy, he has a heart
and he just gets caught up in crazy things, I guess I'm just trying to
regulate the craziness.
ANGEL
You know, you guys aren't your normal kidnapper slash bank-robbers. I
mean I'm a hostage, yet here I am, walking around, talking to you about
your life, I mean I'm pretty new to this but shouldn't I be tied up in
the motel room or something?
JACK
Well, I mean if that's what you'd prefer, I'm sure we could arrange it.
She smiles and laughs with him.
From the doorway of the Motel room, JIMMY watches the two young ones
share a moment and he smiles to himself and turns away to walk back
inside.
JACK
You wanna get some ice-cream?
ANGEL
Ooh, I love ice-cream!
He smiles and she takes his hand and pulls him up onto his feet…
ANGEL
Come on, I wanna show you something, come…
She smiles and drags him away by the hand, like a child leading her
parent to a candy store.
CUT TO:
EXT. ICE CREAM STORE – MINUTES LATER
A huge angel carved out of ice, its large wings spread out wide and the
perfect figure, arms stretched out to reach for the stars. JACK & ANGEL
stand below and look up at the wonderful sight. ANGEL'S eyes light up.
ANGEL
I saw it when we drove in, you know, for the part of the journey that I
wasn't in the trunk. What do you think?
JACK
It's…beautiful.
ANGEL smiles again.
ANGEL
Careful, you almost had an emotional moment there, saying that an ice
angel is beautiful, that's a big thing – for a guy! Come on let's get
some ice-cream.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. STREET, NIGHT – LATER
JACK & ANGEL walk along eating ice-cream. Talking like friends.
ANGEL
…Favourite flavour?
JACK
…Uhm…Raspberry Ripple.
ANGEL
No way! That's mine too…Uhm… favourite fruit?
JACK
…Peaches.
ANGEL
No shit! This is freaky! Favourite movie…?
JACK
I can't possibly answer that…
ANGEL
Oh, go on, choose. Mine is Grease, so sweet.
She makes a girly sappy face and JACK makes a disgusted guy face
JACK
OK…nope, sorry, I mean Grease! You can say you like it and I'll accept
that; each to their own, after all. Hell you can say that it's your
favourite movie, but it's not the greatest film of all time.
ANGEL
So what is?
JACK
I don't know but it's not a musical, I hate musicals, every-time they
have a problem they have to sing about it, I like Grease, Grease is fun
but the others, God!
ANGEL laughs…
ANGEL
…You ever sing?
JACK
Me? No!
She points to a sign for a Karaoke bar and grins.
JACK
Oh God, no!
She drags him towards the pub.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOTEL
LOUIE & FRANKIE'S car pulls up to the Motel and they get out the car,
they appear to be arguing.
FRANKIE
Just go get a room, OK Louie! Can you do that? Do you think you can
accomplish that small feat? Because if it's too much for you I could
train a chimp to do it for you, I hear they go for a buck fifty now!
LOUIE
I think I can manage Frankie.
LOUIE heads off to book a room and FRANKIE heads towards the small
Mini-Market.
FRANKIE
You couldn't manage a Kwik-E-Mart ya firkin doorstop!
CUT TO:
INT. KARAOKE BAR – LATER
ANGEL & JACK are up singing on the karaoke, they sing the Grease music.
JACK isn't very good, obviously ANGEL is.
CUT TO:
INT. MINI-MARKET – MOTEL – SAME
FRANKIE wanders the aisles for some food; he absent-mindedly walks past
JIMMY, who is standing at a micro-wave waiting on some micro-wave
popcorn.
FRANKIE walks a little further down the aisle before he turns and looks
back at JIMMY. JIMMY sees him and smiles, not knowing who he is.
FRANKIE turns away and thinks to himself.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOTEL – CARPARK – MINUTES LATER
JIMMY approaches his room and enters it with the popcorn. FRANKIE
watches him go in from afar, and smiles to himself.
CUT TO:
INT. NIGHTCLUB – LATER
A busy nightclub, full of people dancing, drinking and having a good
time; ANGEL is among the dancers, having a good time and smiling.
JACK makes his way through the crowd to her carrying drinks. When he
reaches her, she takes the drink from him and drinks it all down in one
and then sticks her tongue out at him and he laughs as he tries to
dance.
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S ROOM – SAME
JIMMY sits down with a bowl of popcorn and turns on the TV, THOMAS lies
on the bed next to him with a cloth over his face.
JIMMY
You want to watch a movie or something, I'm bored out my fucking box
here man!
THOMAS
No, I don't watch movies.
JIMMY
You what!
THOMAS
I don't watch movies, too much shit nowadays.
JIMMY
Fuck me, you're a bunch of awkward bastards you fucking yanks aren't
you. So what's the plan now then Mr unsuccessful bank robbing guy?
THOMAS
I get paid.
JIMMY
Eh?
THOMAS
Plan B, I ransom the pop chick for a wealthy fee; her stepfather is a
multi-billionaire in LA.
JIMMY
I dunno pal, these ransom things never work out, have you not seen the
movies…of course you haven't! Well they never work out, what if he
doesn't pay?
THOMAS
…If he doesn't pay?
JIMMY
…Aye.
THOMAS
I cut off her ear and sent it to him in an envelope.
JIMMY laughs nervously then he stops as he realizes THOMAS isn't.
JIMMY
Are you fucking serious ya mad bastard?
THOMAS
…Of course.
JIMMY looks uneasy.
CUT TO:
EXT. NIGHTCLUB – SAME
A full entourage of Police Squad cars roll up outside and a black Sedan
pulls up too. Out steps an immaculately dressed young man, very
confident and sharp, he walks to the Sheriff as if he owns this town.
It is AGENT SHARPE.
SHARPE
Sheriff, what's the situation here?
The SHERIFF is a strong-looking older man, proud and good at his work.
SHERIFF
And who the hell are you?
SHARPE flashes a badge.
SHARPE
I'm a special agent, hired by Mr. Banks himself, he wants his daughter
back in one piece Sheriff and he's a very rich man, I'm here to make
sure that happens. Now, what's the situation?
SHERIFF
We got a call about fifteen minutes ago, a young couple; the girl fits
the description we received of Ms. Banks, they entered the club alone,
she didn't appear to be constrained or there against her will however.
SHARPE
That is not my concern, we move in…now.
CUT TO:
EXT. JIMMY'S ROOM – MOTEL – SAME
Outside JIMMY'S room stands FRANKIE & LOUIE, guns ready at their sides,
they stand on opposite sides of the doorway.
FRANKIE
Now we can't just go busting in there guns blazing, we need a plan
Louie, all the tough guys had plans, Scarface had a plan…I'm not sure
what it was, but he had a plan.
LOUIE
So, what's the plan Frankie?
FRANKIE
If you let me have a minute to think then I will tell you the freakin'
plan Louie! What is it with you! What's the plan? What's the plan?
Where are we going? What are we doing? It's always freakin twenty
questions with you ain't it! Next thing you'll want to know when you
can wipe your firkin ass! Do I have to do everything around here? I
mean really, do I? I don't see you making up any master-plan, no, your
just the big stupid firkin sidekick! I'm the fuckin…
Just then the door opens and JIMMY sticks his head out.
JIMMY
Hey listen guys, want tae keep it down a wee bit, I'm trying tae watch
a film here, you know what I mean.
FRANKIE
…Sure thing buddy.
JIMMY closes the door and FRANKIE looks at LOUIE, eyes wide and we…
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S ROOM – CONTINIOUS
THOMAS lies on the bed with a wet cloth over his face, wearing only a
pair of trousers. JIMMY goes back to his bed and picks up his popcorn
ready to enjoy his movie, when the door is kicked open and LOUIE &
FRANKIE walk in with the guns aimed at them. JIMMY drops his popcorn.
FRANKIE
Stay right there mother-fuckers!
JIMMY
What the fuck is goin' on here pal, eh. Whit's your game? I'm trying
tae watch a fuckin film here!
JIMMY is standing up and in FRANKIE'S face now, THOMAS lies absolutely
still with the cloth on his face.
FRANKIE points the gun right in JIMMY'S face and JIMMY sits down.
JIMMY
Nae bother pal.
FRANKIE
You sit down and shut the fuck up…
(Re: Thomas)
…and you just fucken stay there. Now, tell me where my fucken money is!
JIMMY
…Money?
LOUIE
You heard him, money!
JIMMY
Sorry pal, don't know what you're talking about.
FRANKIE
Yes you fucking do. I hired you to clean fucking windows not steal half
a million dollars of my fucking money you little English prick!
JIMMY stands up at this, enraged.
JIMMY
English! Fucken English. I'm no fucking English, I'm Scottish pal and
don't you fucken forget it! Go on say that again and I'll fuckin burst
you like a cushion pal.
LOUIE
(Pointing the gun at Jimmy)
Sit down.
JIMMY obediently sits down.
JIMMY
Aye, alright. I hope your next shite's a hedgehog ya wee prick! Calling
me fucking English!
THOMAS
Can I take this cloth off my face?
FRANKIE
Shuttup!
LOUIE
(Re: Jimmy)
Half a million US dollars, it is in your possession, yes?
JIMMY
Well…technically…no.
LOUIE
What do you mean technically?
JIMMY
As in, no I huvnae got it.
FRANKIE
What?
JIMMY
I huvnae got it.
FRANKIE
What fucken language are you speaking? What is that Swahili, he asked
you a fucken question, do you or do you not have the money?
JIMMY
I told you…aye and no.
FRANKIE
I? I? Who's I? What are you talking about? Do you have the money, yes
or no?
JIMMY
What am I talking here? Fucken Yoda-speak or something, I huvnae got
the fucken money on me, I don't know what yer talking about, look at
this room, I'm skint as a badger's arse.
THOMAS
What money are they talking about Jimmy?
JIMMY
Shutit Thomas will ye, there is no money!
FRANKIE
Louie hit him; he's giving me a sore head!
JIMMY
Don't even try it big-foot!
THOMAS
Jimmy, what money are they talking about?
JIMMY
I told you, there is no fucken money! Now shutit!
FRANKIE
Both of you shuttup!
THOMAS
Jimmy, why do I get the impression that you're holding out on me here?
JIMMY
Tommy, shuttit will you!
THOMAS
What money, Jimmy?
JIMMY
There isnae any fucken money!
Thomas rises.
THOMAS
(Angry)
What-fucking-money, are they talking about-Jimmy?
JIMMY
(Shouting)
Shuttup will you!
FRANKIE
Both of you sit the fuck down!
THOMAS
Jimmy, I'm asking you again…
FRANKIE
Sit down!
JIMMY
Thomas will you just shut the fuck up!
FRANKIE
Louie, hit him!
LOUIE moves forward to hit JIMMY and all at once, THOMAS draws a gun on
JIMMY and JIMMY in turn draws a gun on LOUIE.
JIMMY
I widnae do that pal!
LOUIE stops dead. JIMMY has his gun on LOUIE, THOMAS has his on JIMMY
and FRANKIE has his gun somewhere in the middle of the two.
CUT TO:
INT. NIGHTCLUB – SAME
Inside the club, JACK & ANGEL are dancing close to each other,
'Overprotected' by Britney Spears plays over the speakers. ANGEL is
teasing JACK, dancing against him and smiling, they're having a really
good time when JACK spots a hoard of Police coming in the entrance;
people stop dancing and turn to look at them as they make their way
through the crowd.
ANGEL turns to see them now and she looks to JACK, before they both
turn and make a run for the exit.
They push their way through the crowd, the MUSIC blaring as the POLICE
push their way through the crowd also, looking for the young couple.
ANGEL & JACK pass a Ladies toilet and she stops and grabs him by the
collar, dragging him in.
CUT TO:
INT. LADIES BATHROOM – NIGHTCLUB – CONTINIOUS
ANGEL pulls JACK in and closes the door, she pins him against the wall
and turns to see two women at the wash-basins looking at them
strangely, thinking quick she pushes JACK against the wall and kisses
him passionately. The two LADIES shrug and leave; slightly embarrassed.
As they exit, ANGEL keeps kissing for a short moment before she stops
and the both stand still, staring at one another, a little surprised,
then the snap out of it and head over to a small window at the top of
the wall…
CUT TO:
EXT. NIGHTCLUB – ALLEYWAY – CONTINIOUS
ANGEL stands in the alleyway, watching down the empty alley for Police
as JACK drops from the window behind her.
ANGEL
Come on.
They turn to run down the opposite end of the alleyway and walk
straight into SHARPE!
SHARPE
Running again are we Jennifer?
JACK
Who's this guy?
SHARPE
Why don't you run off now sonny, let me talk with you little
girlfriend!
ANGEL looks away, a little ashamed.
JACK
She's not my girlfriend.
SHARPE
(Sarcastic)
How sweet! Now, Jennifer, shall we go? Your Father is rather impatient
and he is not in the best of moods with you. I have a feeling there
will be stern repercussions on your return home.
ANGEL shivers at the mention of this and seems to flinch a little. JACK
notices.
SHARPE (CONT'D)
Now say goodbye to your little friend and let's go, I have no time for
this.
Beat…
JACK
She's going nowhere.
SHARPE
Excuse me?
ANGEL
Jack…
JACK
You heard…she's a hostage, my hostage and I don't plan to give her up
just yet. So you just fuck off, pal!
SHARPE
Boy's got balls. Doesn't matter much though, considering I have a
Police squad around the corner and a gun in my holster, what are you
going to do to stop me?
JACK looks away and then out of nowhere he swings a right hook at
SHARPE and catching him off-guard knocks him down.
JACK
Now run.
JACK & ANGEL make a run for it in the opposite direction.
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S ROOM – LATER
We come back to the motel room; the men are still in a stand-off. None
of them look to be backing off anytime soon.
FRANKIE
Both of you; put the fucking guns down!
JIMMY
(Sarcastic)
Aye, sure thing pal, just as soon as lose all my sanity and paint a
bullseye on my own arse!
THOMAS
Jimmy, where did you get a gun?
JIMMY
I could ask you the same thing.
THOMAS
What did you think I robbed a bank with? A fucking water pistol?
JIMMY
Well it had crossed my mind.
FRANKIE
Where's the money Jimmy?
JIMMY
I don't have any.
FRANKIE
Where are the others? The TV said there were three men and a girl…
JIMMY
Was there a pizza place too?
FRANKIE
Fuck you! Where are Romeo and Juliet?
JIMMY
Don't know what you're talking about.
THOMAS
They're out somewhere, should be back soon.
JIMMY draws THOMAS an evil look and FRANKIE smiles.
FRANKIE
Then I guess we wait here until the return.
CUT TO:
EXT. ALLEYWAY – LATER
JACK & ANGEL finally stop running as they turn into another narrow
alleyway.
JACK
I think we're okay?
ANGEL seems out of breath, she stops and JACK puts his hand on her back
to comfort her…
JACK
Are you OK?
She flinches in pain as he touches her.
JACK
What's wrong?
ANGEL
Nothing…
JACK
Let me see…
ANGEL
I'm fine.
JACK lifts her shirt a little to reveal a large bruise on her back.
JACK
What the fuck!
ANGEL
I must have hurt it on the way out of the window, that's all. Come on.
She walks away and JACK follows, he looks as though he is deep in
thought, he doesn't believe her.
CUT TO:
EXT. NIGHTCLUB – SAME
POLICE OFFICERS rush to help SHARPE as he comes around the corner from
the alleyway, wiping blood from his nose he throws them aside,
snarling, he walks to the SHERIFF.
SHARPE
Just tell me that it worked and you're following them?
SHERIFF
We're following them right now.
SHARPE
Good, I want them all.
(Re: Jack)
Just you wait you little bastard, you'll pay for that!
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S ROOM – MOTEL – LATER
The guys are sitting down now, LOUIE & FRANKIE on chairs and THOMAS &
JIMMY on the beds. They play poker; their guns are never more than an
inch away from their person. Tensions are high.
THOMAS reaches over to lay down a card and JIMMY pulls his gun on him.
JIMMY
Watch it!
THOMAS
Woah! I'm only putting a card down.
FRANKIE
Oh, is there a little tension between the lovebirds, you think Louie?
LOUIE laughs.
JIMMY
This is getting a bit boring lads, why don't we call it a night, eh?
FRANKIE
What, and leave without saying goodbye to your little friends? I don't
think so, that would be very rude of us, after you being so hospitable.
If you want to make it more interesting then why not introduce some
green?
THOMAS
Yeah, why not Jimmy?
JIMMY
I told you, I haven't got any cash…but if you want to make it
interesting…?
JIMMY smiles devilishly.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET, NIGHT – LATER
JACK & ANGEL walk along the street back to the Motel. They walk in
silence.
JACK
Why won't you tell me what happened to your back?
ANGEL
Because it's none of your business, I can take care of myself.
JACK
Why won't you tell me, I just want to help you?
ANGEL
And I told you already, I don't need help. Christ Jack, we were having
fun before you went all caring on me.
JACK
OK, I'm sorry. I won't ask questions.
Beat…
JACK (CONT'D)
Come on.
ANGEL
What?
JACK
I want to show you something.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROOFTOP – LATER
On the roof of tenement block, JACK & ANGEL step out the door onto the
roof in the dark night and JACK is covering ANGEL'S eyes.
JACK
Now, look.
JACK takes his hands away to reveal a beautiful landscape of the night
sky, many colours and the cityscape around it.
ANGEL
Oh God, it's beautiful. How did you know about this?
JACK
I didn't, I just hoped it would be like this.
They both sit down on the roof and look out over the landscape.
JACK
There's one thing I don't get, I mean, you are a hostage here right?
And yet you didn't go with Sharpe, and you don't seem to be at all
bothered that you have been abducted.
Beat…
ANGEL
I know it's a cliché and that to the outside world my life must be
great, I have everything and I do, but I just want to be free, and
right now with you that's how I feel, like I don't have a care, no
press, no schedule, I'm not run off my feet and always being this
'personality', it's like with you guys I'm just a normal girl, you
don't treat me like I'm…untouchable. My life…? They can have it.
JACK looks into her eyes…
ANGEL (CONT'D)
Is it just me or do you feel extremely horny after being chased by the
Police?
…And then kisses her passionately, and she kisses back and within
seconds their hands are all over each other and they lie back on the
ground and make love under the night sky.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. JIMMY'S ROOM – MOTEL, MORNING
THOMAS & JIMMY are passed out on their beds and FRANKIE & LOUIE ARE
passed out in their chairs, most of them are half-naked, their clothes
strewn across the floor and cards in a mess. ANGEL & JACK stand in the
doorway confused. JACK walks over to JACK and quietly wakes him up.
JACK
Jimmy, wake up, wake up.
JIMMY awakens, groggy, ANGEL goes to wake THOMAS but JIMMY stops her.
JIMMY
Don't.
JACK
I'm not even going to ask what is going on here.
JIMMY is pulling his clothes on quickly.
JIMMY
We're leaving…now! Grab your things and get the car.
They both leave to go to their room. JIMMY grabs the money bag and
picks up his gun and leaves in a hurry.
CUT TO:
EXT. JIMMY'S CAR, MORNING – LATER
Driving along the freeway, JIMMY driving, JACK in the passenger seat
and ANGEL in the back.
JACK
So, what exactly happened back there, Jimmy?
JIMMY
The guys in the suits: just happen to be heavies for a very large
Italian/American crime boss in LA.
JACK
…The Mob?
JIMMY
…Aye.
ANGEL
What the hell does the Mob want with you guys?
JIMMY
…Money…a half a million U.S. dollars to be exact. It seems the money
that we found belongs to them and they want it back.
JACK
Found! I hardly think we fucken found it Jimmy! It didn't just fall out
of the sky and into her hand by divine intervention now did it!
ANGEL
How did they know you had it?
JIMMY
They said that they were the ones who phoned me for the job, we were
set-up to take the blame of the mystery man's murder once they killed
him and took the cash that he stole from them, now we have it and they
want it.
JACK
So give them it.
JIMMY
Aye, that'll be chocolate son.
JACK
Jimmy, this isn't Farmer fucking Harper now! This is the Italian Mafia;
fucking stallions heads in your bed and shit, give them the fucking
money! We already have half of the police force and a bastardin'
Private Agent after us for kidnapping.
JIMMY looks back at ANGEL then back to the front, staying quiet.
JACK
What about your buddy Thomas, why did you leave him there?
JIMMY
Because as soon as those guys mentioned money he got all fucking
trigger happy, we couldn't trust the cunt! Besides he wanted to ransom
your little friend here and send her fucking ear to her daddy as
insurance. The guy's a nut.
ANGEL looks to JACK, worried.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
So we're better off on the road, away from the bastard, we are headed
for Mexico, freedom and a tequila.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOTEL – LATER
LOUIE & FRANKIE exit JIMMY'S room, fixing their clothes and looking
pissed, they head for the car.
FRANKIE
That's it Lou, this is war, when I find that little Scottish prick I'm
gonna skin his fucking balls and make him eat them raw! Nobody fucks
over Frankie Di Canio. Nobody!
CUT TO:
EXT. MINI-MARKET – LAYBY, EARLY AFTERNOON
The car has stopped at a Mini-market store somewhere off the highway.
JIMMY is headed for the store and the others stay in the car. They are
in mid-conversation.
JIMMY
…Anything else?
JACK
No, that's fine.
JIMMY turns away to the store and JACK turns back to face ANGEL.
JACK
You OK?
ANGEL
Yeah, I mean I'm not that attached to my ears anyway, y'know.
JACK
The guys sick, but he's gone now, so relax.
ANGEL
Yeah, but we still have Sharpe to deal with and the small matter of the
Mob.
JACK
Jimmy will think of something, he always does.
ANGEL
Somehow that's not very comforting…It's supposed to be my birthday
today.
JACK
You're kidding?
ANGEL
Nope.
JACK
Shit, I'm sorry, I guess this has to be the shittiest birthday ever,
right?
ANGEL
No, in my Step-father's house you get used to shitty birthdays! It's
almost a pre-requisite. My real dad, he used to take my ice-skating, I
loved the freedom of it, just the grace and skill in twisting and
turning your body and just floating…
She smiles and JACK turns back to the front and smiles to himself.
CUT TO:
INT. STORE – MINUTES LATER
JIMMY is at the counter paying for a shit load of stuff.
JIMMY
What's the damage then pal?
The STORE CLERK is Greek and he mumbles away to himself in Greek, JIMMY
squints his eyes and screws up his face trying to figure out what is
being said.
JIMMY
Are you taking the piss?
CUT TO:
EXT. CAR – SAME
ANGEL sits in the back; she begins to sing a song to herself.
CUT TO:
INT. STORE
JIMMY has just paid for his groceries and now he lifts the mountain of
brown paper bags and heads for the door with his arms full.
An OLD MAN is also heading for the door, he has crutches and walks
slowly and awkwardly, JIMMY turns to him.
JIMMY
Here, pal, you couldnae open that door for us could you?
CUT TO:
EXT. LAYBY – STORE – SAME
JACK & ANGEL sit in the car.
ANGEL
What's keeping him?
Just then we hear JIMMY'S voice…
JIMMY (O.C)
Arthur Itis? I don't give a fuck who you are pal, what do you think
this is Celebrity Squares? Just open the fucken door!
JACK shakes his head in disbelief.
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S MOTEL ROOM, DAY
SHARPE stands in the room, he is speaking on a cell-phone to BANKS,
looking around as he talks.
SHARPE
(Into Phone)
Yes Sir, I fully understand the situation.
BANKS
(From Phone)
I don't think you do Sharpe, my wife is very upset, her only daughter
is in the hands of three lunatics, hell they're fucking Swedes!
SHARPE
(Into Phone)
I'm pretty sure the Swede's would object to that Sir, they're not
Swedish, that was a ploy, two of them are Scottish…
BANKS
(From Phone)
…As in whisky?
SHARPE
(Into Phone)
Yes Sir, the other is from Chicago.
BANKS
(From Phone)
See what I mean, two of them aren't even American, what kinda of
country is this where, foreigners can just waltz in and run off with
America's biggest pop sensation! Now I want her found, as long as she
is out there and not back here, working, I stand to lose money and we
can't have that, can we Mr Sharpe?
SHARPE
(Biting his tongue)
Sir, it is only a matter of time.
BANKS
(From Phone)
Time is a luxury and time is short Sharpe, something like your job will
be if you don't start making me money very soon. That girl is gonna get
one hell of a fucking hiding when she gets back here! Now do your job!
SHARPE
(Dryly)
Yes sir.
CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY – CAR – AFTERNOON
JIMMY'S car, the top down and the sun shining on them, they chew on
some candy bars and snack foods.
A song comes on the radio and JIMMY makes a funny face and changes the
channel.
JIMMY
Fucken shite!
ANGEL
That was one of mine.
JIMMY looks to JACK and then turns the station back to ANGEL'S song.
JIMMY
Sorry about that doll.
ANGEL just smiles.
ANGEL
Half a million dollars isn't a lot of money, what's the big deal?
JIMMY & JACK almost choke on their food.
JACK
Are you serious?
JIMMY
Listen darling', half a mil might not be a lot to a billionaire's
daughter but to men like us, who have worked hard and honest all our
lives…
A stare from JACK…
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Alright, worked hard all our lives for fuck all, then that's a lot of
fucking money and I'd imagine that's why Thomas wants it too, except he
doesn't have the patience to work hard, he just wants it now, I mean,
fair enough I'm a criminal, I rob peoples houses but I don't go robbing
banks and cutting off people's ears, there's a code to the game y'know.
ANGEL
He's my Step-father.
JIMMY
Eh?
ANGEL
You said that I had a rich daddy, he's not my dad, he's my Stepfather,
my Father is dead and he wasn't rich, he was a working man, just like
you, I might not know the value of money but I know the value of real
love.
JIMMY
Aye, well…anyway…good for you doll. I'm sure that'll come in handy
later on 'n' that.
ANGEL
I guess, my Stepfather has this vault in his office at work, there's no
money in it, just priceless heirlooms and antiques with sentimental
value, to him their just trophies of his wealth and power, the code for
the vault is 'Power'. Most people would use a loved one's name. The
most common passwords are Love, Money and God. He would use two of
those.
JACK
I know what it's like not to have a Father, a proper one that is, I
can't even remember what mine looks like…
JIMMY looks away, reflective, sad.
JACK (CONT'D)
We all need love, Jim…even you.
JIMMY clears his throat.
JIMMY
Loves over-rated, it burns out after a while anyway; you can't love one
person all your life. We'll be in Los Angeles in about five minutes and
we'll drop you off somewhere and be on our way darling' if that's
alright with you, all we ask is that you don't go telling any cunt
where we are.
JACK looks shocked at this, as though he never actually thought about
this.
JACK
We can't drop her off and send her back there, she hates it.
ANGEL
It's OK; we all gotta go home sometime, right? It's where I belong and
I won't say anything Jimmy.
JIMMY
Good on you doll.
JACK looks sad.
JACK
(Changing the subject)
What'd you do with the money anyway?
JIMMY
It should be in the back seat with Princess back there.
CUT TO:
EXT. PAYPHONE – LOS ANGELES – SAME
FRANKIE stands in a phone box, the black SEDAN is in the b.g, and LOUIE
is inside.
FRANKIE
(On the phone)
Yes Boss…You Are? Really? Well of course we will, yeah, just shortly.
OK.
He hangs up the fun and thumps the glass panel in anger and the exits
the box.
CUT TO:
INT. SEDAN – CONTINIOUS
FRANKIE gets in the car, LOUIE is waiting for him.
FRANKIE
He's here, he's back in LA, and we're fucked!
CUT TO:
EXT. LOS ANGELES – STREET – JIMMY'S CAR – LATER
As they drive through the streets, JACK sees something.
JACK
Jimmy, pull over here a minute.
JIMMY
Why?
JACK
Don't ask, just do.
JIMMY pulls over.
JACK
I gotta show Jennifer something before we drop her off, we won't be
long, and I'll get you back here, OK?
JACK gets out the car and helps ANGEL out, she winces as he touches her
back; JIMMY notices this.
JIMMY
Sure, OK, I've got things to do anyway.
JACK & ANGEL run off and JIMMY thinks to himself.
CUT TO:
INT. SPORTS CENTRE – MINUTES LATER
JACK leads ANGEL down a hallway, covering her eyes.
ANGEL
I hate when you do this, where are we going?
He stops at an opening.
JACK
Open your eyes.
She opens her eyes to a large ice rink, empty.
ANGEL
Omigod! Jack! I can't believe you did this.
JACK
Well it took some persuading of the manager but after a small tip he
caved in. Here you go.
He hands her some ice skates. She smiles and kisses him on the cheek.
ANGEL
Aren't you gonna join me?
JACK
No, I'd rather just watch you.
She laughs and slips on her skates before going out onto the rink.
CUT TO:
EXT. PAYPPHONE – LOS ANGELES – SAME
JIMMY is at a payphone now. He appears to be waiting on someone coming
back to him.
JIMMY
(Into the phone)
...Hello, aye it's me Jimmy…aye…how's things over there then? Aye?
What? No that must be wrong…no…fuck! Aye well thanks anyway, aye, I'll
tell him, its better from me. Cheers.
JIMMY hangs up and takes a deep breath and we see a tear well up in his
eye as he exits the payphone.
CUT TO:
INT. ICE RINK – SAME
JACK watches ANGEL skating, she moves so gracefully and beautifully, he
watches in awe and amazement, the love in his eyes, he's smitten with
her.
CUT TO:
EXT. SPORTS CENTRE – STREET
JIMMY goes back to the car and sits down, he looks sad, then he looks
in the mirror and turns around quickly to look in the back seat…the
money bag is gone! He jumps out of the car.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY
JACK gets a coke from the vending machine and walks back to the rink,
as he enters the ice rink, he is surprised to see that it's empty,
ANGEL is gone! He turns and runs, dropping his can of juice.
CUT TO:
EXT. SPORTS CENTRE – STEPS
JACK burst out of the doors to the Sports Centre, he sees JIMMY
standing at the bottom of the stairs; he doesn't notice the look on his
face.
JACK
Jimmy! Jennifer…she's gone.
He looks crushed.
It's now that he sees the look on JIMMY'S face.
JACK
What?
JIMMY
Jack…I have to tell you something…I just phoned home…
He can't bring himself to say what comes next but there is no need for
JACK already knows; his heart breaks and his legs fall from beneath him
as he thumps down onto the steps, sitting in shock.
JIMMY walks up to the steps and puts his hand on JACK'S shoulder to
comfort him. JACK recoils.
JIMMY
Jack?
JACK
Get away from me.
JIMMY
Jack, I'm sorry.
JACK
No, you're not, she hated you, I should have been with her, she needed
me but instead I came here…for you…because of your fuckin schemes
Jimmy. I lost my Dad because of one of your jobs and now…now…
He also can't bring himself to say it.
JIMMY
Jack, the money's gone, I think Angel took it.
JACK
What! The money! Is that all you care about Jimmy! Why would she take
half a mil, she's a fuckin' millionaire!
JIMMY
You said yourself, she wanted to get away, have her freedom, what
better way to do that than with five hundred thousand dollars! She was
the only other person who knew where it was! She used you, Jack.
JACK
Fuck you, OK, fuck you Jim! I don't want to know you anymore, it's your
fault that I'm in this mess, your fault that I wasn't there for my
Maw…stay the fuck away from me Jimmy.
JIMMY
Jack, son…
JACK
Stay the fuck away, I'm not your son; you killed my Dad!
JACK punches JIMMY and knocks him onto his ass before taking off in a
fit of rage. JIMMY sits up and wipes the blood from his lip and shakes
his head.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK, DAY
JACK walks through a park, crying to himself.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR
JIMMY sits in an almost empty bar, drowning his sorrows in beer.
CUT TO:
EXT. POND
JACK sits by a pond, he looks sad and alone.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR
JIMMY sits in the bar, thinking of the past, we see his memories.
* JACK as a boy, JIMMY holds him up high and spins him around, JACK is
laughing.
* JACK as a young lad, pretend boxing with JIMMY.
* JACK & JIMMY working, having a laugh with each other.
* JACK & JIMMY stuck in the shower of the house they robbed.
* JACK & JIMMY sunbathing, JIMMY looking at the ladies walking by.
* And finally, JACK'S MOTHER, smiling as a young woman.
JIMMY sits at the bar and smiles to himself.
CUT TO:
EXT. POND
JACK thinks of old times and we see his memories too.
* His MOTHER looking after him as a young boy.
* His MOTHER putting him to bed when he was a child.
* JIMMY laughing and joking with him.
* JACK & JIMMY having fun at work.
* JIMMY giving him an expensive and emotionally attached watch for his
birthday, JIMMY watches him try it on like a proud Father would.
JACK smiles to himself at this.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR
JIMMY sups his pint before looking up to the TV, he sees something
interesting and turns to the BARTENDER.
JIMMY
Here, pal can you turn that up.
ON THE TV, we see a picture of ANGEL as the REPORTER speaks.
REPORTER
(On TV)
…The Pop Idol was seen earlier today leaving a Sports Centre with this
man…
A MUG SHOT OF THOMAS…
REPORTER
(On TV)
He has been identified as one THOMAS O'SHEA, he is the man believed to
have robbed Florida National bank and taken the star hostage, Police
are unaware of where they are at present but hope to get a lead on them
soon. Police say that there was also another two men involved but
sources say that theses two men were not with the kidnapper this time…
JIMMY pieces it together and turns to leave to find JACK but turns
straight into FRANKIE & LOUIE.
FRANKIE
Going somewhere?
LOUIE hits JIMMY and knocks him out.
CUT TO:
EXT. ANTHONY'S – LATER
A swanky Italian restaurant called 'ANTHONY'S'.
CUT TO:
INT. ANTHONY'S – BOOTH
Sitting at a booth in the restaurant, on one side is FRANKIE and JACK
and the other is LOUIE & JIMMY. Both JIMMY & JACK are at the inside so
they can't escape.
FRANKIE
Thought you were smart didn't you, huh? Pulling a fast one on old
Frankie Di Canio, let me tell you a secret, nobody makes an ass of
Frankie, ain't that right, Louie?
LOUIE
That's right Frankie.
FRANKIE
You two sweethearts have a lover's tiff or something? You got faces
like thunder.
JIMMY
So where is this Tony guy?
FRANKIE
Tony?
JIMMY
Aye, you're boss, the big man, the head cheese…Tony.
FRANKIE
I don't know no Tony, do you Louie?
LOUIE
I don't Frankie.
FRANKIE
Who's Tony?
JIMMY
Your Boss, he's Tony.
FRANKIE
No, you assumed he was called Tony because of all the TV programs and
movies that have led you to believe such crap, you know what that is?
That's a stereotype, that's like me saying, oh, this guy's British, he
must be called John Smith…
JACK
(To himself)
Oh shit…!
JIMMY jumps up in his seat.
JIMMY
British! John fucking Smith! I'm no fucking British ya bastard ye, I'm
fucking Scottish, say that again and I'll crack you one…
LOUIE pulls him back down onto his seat.
JIMMY (CONT'D)
Go on, say it again, say it, I fucken dare you. Say English, go on,
just say Eng, I'll smack your fucking teeth in ya wee greasy bastard!
FRANKIE
There he goes again, 'greasy Italians' there's another stereotype. You
know what a stereotype is Lou?
LOUIE
Yeah, sure…like Sony right?
FRANKIE shakes his head in desperation.
FRANKIE
No not like Sony, Lou.
Just then another man walks by and says 'HI' to FRANKIE.
MAN
Hey Frankie…
FRANKIE
Hey Tony…
He goes to speak to JIMMY again and then realizes what just happened.
JIMMY
It says Tony above the door outside; I presume that this is your Boss's
place?
BEAT…
FRANKIE
It doesn't say Tony outside.
JIMMY
It does so.
FRANKIE
It does not. It says Anthony's.
JIMMY
Same fucking thing!
FRANKIE
It's not the same fucking thing.
JIMMY
How's it not?
FRANKIE
…Because it isn't.
JIMMY
It…
Just then the waiter comes over with their food and sits the plates
down. JIMMY picks at his food.
CUT TO:
INT. ANTHONYS – ANTHONY'S OFFICE – LATER
JACK & JIMMY and the others enter a large expensively-decorated Office.
Sitting at a large wooden desk is ANTHONY. A young man, younger than
them all except JACK and he's not very threatening.
ANTHONY
Is this them?
FRANKIE
This is them Boss.
JIMMY
What, him? He's Anthony, he's the Big Man?
(To Anthony)
Hiya son, when did your baws drop?
FRANKIE
Do not show disrespect to the Boss!
JIMMY
'Do not disrespect the wee man' Fuck off ya diddy!
FRANKIE
Just shut the fuck up and give him the money.
JIMMY
Well you are shit out of luck there pal, 'cos I don't have the fucking
money.
FRANKIE
Excuse me?
JIMMY
What do I look like, an ATM? Do you see a large bag on my person? I
don't have it, my friend from Boston, the guy you informed of my little
stash, he ran off with it and the chick.
FRANKIE
You fuck!
FRANKIE & LOUIE pull their guns on JACK & JIMMY and they both flinch.
FRANKIE
I'll fucking waste you both, now where's the money?
JIMMY
I told you.
FRANKIE
Right…
He cocks the hammer of his gun.
JIMMY
Listen in the past four days I have had a several guns pointed at me,
been robbed by some evil psycho bank-robbing hitch-hiker and almost
been sodomized by a mad bitch with a ten-inch dildo! How could you
possibly make it any worse?
ANTHONY
I could start by feeding you to some wild pigs, toes first, then your
balls!
JIMMY
…Point taken.
ANTHONY
Mr McCracken, you doubt my authority, my ability to do my work? Despite
my youthful appearance, I am a man of many years. I saw this friend of
yours on TV, I'll take your word for it that he has my money and I will
deal with that shortly. On the other hand, I am led to believe by my
sources that the both of you are not the most honest of people when it
comes to other people's belongings…
JIMMY
Look, I swear we didn't know it was your money.
ANTHONY
Not my belongings Mr McCracken. I refer to the places you have broken
into and stole from in your home country…this proves useful to me. I
want you to do something for me…
JIMMY
A job…?
ANTHONY
The stepfather of your hostage girl, Mr Banks, has in his possession a
certain antique that I am quite fond of, I tried to be honest and I put
in a bid for this antique but Mr Banks saw fit to outbid me. Myself and
Mr Banks you see have had run-in's in the past and we are not what you
would term 'buddies'. I want you to break into his office and retrieve
the antique from his vault. If you can do this for me, I will wipe your
slate clean…
JIMMY
Look pal, I think you got it wrong, we're not…
ANTHONY
I know what you're not Mr McCracken and what you also are not, is in a
position to argue.
JIMMY
…But why us? Why not get someone more qualified to do the job?
ANTHONY
I like an underdog Mr McCracken and an underdog, you most certainly
are. Now the monkey…
JIMMY
The monkey…?
ANTHONY
The antique is a wooden monkey carved by an ancient African tribe,
hundreds of years ago. The monkey is in a vault in Banks' office. You
will retrieve it by tomorrow night and return it to me, if you fail
then you will meet my pigs Mr McCracken and they are rather hungry.
JIMMY & JACK look afraid.
CUT TO:
INT. BANKS' OFFICE, MORNING
MR BANKS is on the phone, his Office is very large and spacious. The
furniture is sparse but very chunky and heavy.
BANKS
…Sharpe, I've had enough of your excuses, I want that girl back here
and on tour and I want it yesterday, you understand me?
SHARPE
(Loudspeaker)
Sir, we have it under control. You'll have Jennifer back in not time at
all. I promise you. I have the solution in my hand at this very minute.
Trust me.
The conversation continues; the back wall of the Office is a window
from top to bottom, through it we see a trolley and on the trolley are
two window cleaners, cleaning MR BANKS' window. The Window Cleaners are
JACK & JIMMY.
CUT TO:
EXT. BANKS' OFFICE – TROLLEY – SAME
JACK & JIMMY clean the windows, peering inside for a better look at the
Office layout.
JIMMY
…I should never have answered the fucking phone!
JACK
The vault must be concealed, I can't see it. What now?
JIMMY
We wait, until everyone goes home, then we get in through the window
and look for that vault.
JACK
What here?
JIMMY
No, no here, we'll wait on the roof.
CUT TO:
INT. BANKS' OFFICE, NIGHT
The Office is in darkness, a small window in the glass lies open and we
can hear people talking in hushed tones.
JACK
Where's the fucking light?
JIMMY
What am I, the fucking Interior designer? How should I know?
There's a thud and then JIMMY yells out.
JIMMY
Agh! FUCK!
JACK
What?
JIMMY
Stubbed my fucking toe on the desk, didn't I?
The light clicks on and we see them both dressed head to toe in black
with Tammy hats on. JACK stands by the light switch on the wall and
JIMMY holds his foot in pain at the desk.
JACK
Be quiet will you! Where's this vault then?
JIMMY
Once again, what am I…?
JACK
Aw, give it a break will you, just look for it.
JIMMY
Aw how the fuck should I know where it is!
JACK
(Looking around)
Maybe there's a secret switch or something?
JIMMY
Shuttup! Switches! That's just movie stuff, nobody actually has them;
next you'll be telling me that it's probably behind that bookcase over
there.
They both stop and turn to look at the bookcase, JACK smiles at JIMMY.
JACK
Jimmy Mac you are a fucking genius! Come on help me move it.
JIMMY helps him to slide the bookcase along the wall and sure enough,
there behind the bookcase is the vault door.
JIMMY
Now, what was the code?
JACK
Power…
JACK keys it in on the small keypad and the door opens before them.
JIMMY
Open Says-a-me!
They both enter the…
VAULT
A reasonably sized room, each antique stands on its own podium with
lights shining on them; the walls are aligned with drawers full of
important documents.
The Monkey sits on a podium before them. JIMMY approaches it.
JIMMY
Well this was relatively easy.
As he picks the monkey up an alarm goes off and the vault door closes
behind them, locking them in. JACK turns to JIMMY and shakes his head.
JIMMY
Oops.
CUT TO:
EXT. HARTS' MOTEL, NIGHT
ON A motel just off the highway and situated a couple of miles outside
Los Angeles.
CUT TO:
INT. MOTEL – ROOM 13
ANGEL is handcuffed to the bed; THOMAS sits at a table on the other
side of the room eating.
ANGEL
Can I at least get some food?
THOMAS
Sure.
THOMAS throws a chicken wing at her but it goes too far and lands on
the floor behind her, he laughs.
THOMAS
Just think, now I can say that I had America's biggest pop idol
handcuffed to a bed. Ha.
ANGEL
(Sarcastic)
How nice that must be for you.
(Pause)
Why are you doing this?
THOMAS
…Money…pure and simple, I'm not into that whole, work hard all your
life for nothing scene, it's not me, I prefer the take what you want
when you want scene.
ANGEL
Well you got your money, why keep me?
THOMAS
I'm greedy, I want more, I was gonna ransom you but your Stepfather
wouldn't pay up, oh I spoke to him, lovely man, doesn't care much for
you though, is that how you got the bruises?
She looks away, ashamed.
THOMAS (CONT'D)
He's got some Agent looking for me to get you back, he won't pay the
ransom so I guess I'll have to kill you, or just keep you for company.
I'm not sure which. I could always sell you to some Mexicans!
ANGEL
Fuck you!
THOMAS
(Angry)
Now that's not very fucking nice is it, you shouldn't say that to a
psychopath with a gun…
(Points gun at her)
…and a half a million in cash!
He picks up the bag and shakes it in her direction before throwing it
at her. The bag hits the wall and some things fall out, it's JIMMY'S
underwear! THOMAS'S mouth drops in horror and a smirk creeps onto
ANGEL'S face.
CUT TO:
INT. VAULT – BANKS' OFFICE – LATER
JIMMY & JACK are still stuck in the vault. JACK sits calmly against the
wall, but JIMMY is wrecking the room, kicking over podiums and ripping
out drawers of files, the floor is covered in papers and debris.
JIMMY
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
JACK
Jimmy!
JIMMY
FUCK! FUCK! FUCKEDY FUCKIN FUCK!
JACK
Jimmy!
JIMMY
BASTARDING CUNTED FUCK!
JACK
JIMMY!!!
JIMMY
Aye whit!
JACK
Sit yer arse down.
JIMMY stops, calms down and then sits next to JACK.
JIMMY
Sorry, I just can't believe it, we were so fucking close!
JACK
Story of our lives Jimmy, lets face it…we are fuck ups, it's all we've
ever been…fuck, no wonder Angel left!
JIMMY
Fuck! I never got to tell you! She didn't leave!
JACK
Whit! She's still in LA?
JIMMY
No…well aye…maybe…I dunno, but it was on the news, Thomas took her, he
probably took the money as well, I'm sorry for saying she took it, man,
I didn't mean it.
JACK
That bastard stole ma bird! Fucking Yankee prick! Wait tae I fucking
see him! If I ever get out this fucking hole!
JIMMY
How's it going with her anyway?
JACK
Good, well it was.
JIMMY
Her Stepfather hits her, doesn't he?
JACK
I think so.
JIMMY
Bastard!
JACK
I really love her, Jimmy, she's so amazing. I never met anyone like
her.
JIMMY
Reminds me of when I first met your Mother…Listen, I'm sorry about your
Ma, I know she wisnae my biggest fan but I thought the world of her,
Jack. She was an amazing woman, what she did for you.
JACK looks down, sad…
JACK
It's alright, it wasn't your fault either, I made up my own mind to
come here, I couldnae have stayed and let her die knowing how much of a
fuck-up I really was! Maybe I could have been more like my Father.
JIMMY
Yer Da? Did she speak highly of him, like?
JACK
No, she called him all the bastards under the sun, but I could tell
that she loved him really…
JIMMY smiles at that…
JACK (CONT'D)
…I just wish I could remember him, wish he never died. What was he like
Jimmy?
JIMMY smiles a little, like he remembers fond memories.
JIMMY
…Your Dad? He was alright Jackie boy, he was a good man y'know, he
just…he got himself in to situations that were a bit hard to get out
of, well legally. He loved your Mother very much, he just…
JIMMY looks sad now, as though it's hard for him to talk about this…
JIMMY (CONT'D)
…He couldn't be all the things she needed, he knew that, deep down…he
knew she needed the man she thought he was, no the man he was busy
being, but he loved her like he did the day he first met her.
JACK is smiling, trying to imagine his Father as a young man, courting
his Mother.
JACK
I bet he was a good looking boy, eh?
Smiling…
JIMMY
Oh aye, he had a way with the ladies, son, he was a bit of a lad,
alright. Not like you, you more sensitive, he'd be proud of you though.
JACK
Fuck knows how, look at me! I'm a fuck-up!
JIMMY
No…you're more than that, more than me, more than him…you're a better
man than I'll ever be, son. You would never get into these schemes
without me, he'd be proud of you, I'm sure of that. So would your
Mother, she always had high hopes for you and something tells me she
won't be disappointed.
JACK
When did you meet my Mum?
JIMMY
Erm, about the same time as your Dad, known your Dad all his life, like
brothers we were.
JACK
Jimmy, how did he die?
JIMMY
Fuck Jackie, you know that!
JACK
Tell me again.
JIMMY
He died of cancer when you were a wee laddie.
JACK
See that's where I'm confused, my Maw says that he died on a job with
you and that's why she hates you, so who's lying?
JIMMY
Well, I mean, he had cancer, but he got shot before it got to him, aye
that'll be it.
JACK
Why did she hate him, Jimmy? Why did she hate you?
JIMMY
She didn't hate him, she just…she couldn't live with him.
JACK
Why?
JIMMY
I told you, he was a bit of a lad and that and he was always in trouble
wi' the Police. It was a love/hate thing wi' yer Ma 'n' Da, son.
JACK
So why did she hate you?
JIMMY
She didn't hate me, she…well she…couldn't…
(Changing the subject)
Would you look at all these papers, eh? I should tidy them up.
JIMMY picks up the papers and sorts them, shuffling trough them
quickly.
JIMMY
Wait a minute, well, well, well; look at this…Mr C. Banks you dirty
fucking bastard! I'm sure the papers would be interested in this!
JIMMY pockets the papers.
JACK
What?
JIMMY
Look…
JIMMY stops dead in his tracks as there's a CLICK and the vault door
opens and they both turn to that direction.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOTEL – SAME
Outside the Motel where JIMMY & JACK stayed are several Police cars.
SHARPE and the SHERIFF exit JIMMY'S room; the SHERIFF is carrying the
bag of money.
SHERIFF
What do we do now then Mr. Sharpe? What's your master plan?
SHARPE
We leave the cash at the lost and found, they'll come back for it and
when they do, we pounce. Now take the money to reception and explain
what's going on, I don't care how long it takes, they'll be back and
I'll be waiting.
CUT TO:
INT. BANKS' OFFICE – LATER
MR BANKS stands behind his desk, red and flustered, in a rage at JACK &
JIMMY standing before him, the Monkey in a bag on his desk and two
SECURITY GUARDS behind them.
BANKS
…Just who the hell do you think you are, coming into my office and
stealing my antiques, kidnapping my stepdaughter, don't think I didn't
recognize you. Now you are going to tell me where that girl is, I am
losing money here! Fucking British!
JIMMY
Right, that's it, I warned they Italians for that and I'll fucking have
you!
BANKS
Guards!
The GUARDS don't move, JIMMY turns expecting some apprehension, he
looks at their faces.
JIMMY
…Alright boys. Hows it going?
It's FRANKIE & LOUIE, smiling, dressed in Guard outfits.
LOUIE
Not bad, not bad at all.
BANKS
What the hell is going on here?
JIMMY
A bit of fucking pay back! You fat prick!
JACK holds him back.
JACK
Stop, don't lower yourself to his level; lets just take the monkey and
leave.
JIMMY
Fine! But you're getting off light ya fat knob-cheese!
JIMMY lifts the bag with the monkey in it and walks away, the Italians
follow and so does JACK.
BANKS
Where the hell do you think you're going with that! Put that down you
greasy English bastard!
JACK
That's it.
JACK turns back, leaps over the desk and lands on BANKS, laying punches
into him.
JACK
I'll make sure you never touch her again, you fucking spineless prick!
The others drag JACK off.
JACK (CONT'D)
I'm going to beat the fat out of you for a third world country…!
JIMMY
Come on, Jackie son, calm down.
The others drag JACK out, leaving a very flustered and afraid MR BANKS.
CUT TO:
EXT. BANKS' OFFICE – LATER
Outside in the street, by the two cars, stands the Italians and the
Scots. JIMMY & JACK stand by a black limo, the window is down and
ANTHONY is inside, talking to them, LOUIE & FRANKIE stand behind them.
ANTHONY reads through JIMMY'S stolen papers.
ANTHONY
I am impressed Mr. McCracken, I didn't think you'd pull this off, but
well done to you, this information will come in very handy for dealing
with Mr Banks in my own way. I was planning just to kill you anyway but
as you have served your purpose well, I'll let you both go. Your free,
you're slate is clean.
JIMMY
Aye, well, eh, nice doing' business wi' ye pal. See ya later, maybe,
eh?
JACK & JIMMY turn to walk away.
JIMMY
See you later, boys.
He waves to FRANKIE & LOUIE, FRANKIE has his gun out.
FRANKIE
What…I don't get to shoot him! What do you mean I don't get to shoot
him, you know what the bastard did to me…I wanna shoot him!
JIMMY & JACK laugh and walk to their car and get in.
JIMMY
Not bad, eh? At least we're no in a box in the Pacific, eh?
JACK
Aye, just one more thing…
Just then we hear a phone ring…
JIMMY
You hear something?
JACK
Sounds like a mobile phone.
JIMMY
I haven't got one, have you?
JACK
No.
JACK opens the glove box to see a small mobile phone lit-up and
ringing.
JACK & JIMMY
Thomas!
JACK answers the phone.
JACK
(Into the phone)
Hello?
THOMAS
(From the phone)
I see you found my mobile; you two fucks think you're funny?
JACK
(Into the phone)
…Hilarious, why?
THOMAS
(From the phone)
There's no fucking money in the bag! Just Jimmy's dirty fucking
underwear!
JACK starts to laugh and looks to JIMMY, he covers the phone.
JACK
We must have lifted the wrong bag, he has your clothes!
He takes the phone back…
THOMAS
(From the phone)
You think this is funny, I want that fucking money! If I don't get then
little pop princess won't see the light of day, ever again! What's it
to be?
JACK
Fuck!
JIMMY
What?
JACK
He wants a swap, the money for the girl.
Beat…
JIMMY
Fine, tell him, we'll do it.
JACK takes the phone back…
JACK
Fine, where and when?
THOMAS
Oh no, I'm not stupid, get the money and I'll phone you tomorrow with
more information.
THOMAS hangs up and JACK turns to JIMMY.
JACK
We need that money.
JIMMY
Then let's pay a visit to the motel.
They drive off,
CUT TO:
INT. SHARPE'S CAR - MOTEL, MORNING
SHARPE sits in the SHERIFF'S car, both asleep, the SHERIFF leans on
SHARPE'S shoulder, drooling.
CUT TO:
INT. JIMMY'S CAR – MOTEL, SAME
JIMMY'S car pulls up at the Motel.
JACK
What now?
JIMMY
We go in to lost and found and we ask if a bag has been handed in,
simple and hopefully very effective.
JACK & JIMMY get out the car and head for the Motel.
CUT TO:
INT. SHARPE'S CAR – SAME
The radio crackles and wakes them both up, SHARPE pushes the SHERIFF
off him.
SHARPE
Get off of me!
RADIO
Sheriff! Sir, they're here, what now?
SHARPE watches them both enter the Motel.
SHARPE
We wait and follow them to the girl.
The SHERIFF repeats the message over the radio.
SHARPE watches them come back out with a money bag and drive off and he
follows.
CUT TO:
EXT. DESERT – LATER, DAY
JIMMY'S car pulls up in the middle of nowhere, a desert, the sun
beating down. JIMMY & JACK get out the car, JIMMY holding the money
bag, both standing in the sun, covered in sand and looking around for
THOMAS.
JIMMY
Where the fuck is he?
On the horizon they see they small dot of THOMAS'S car coming towards
them.
JACK
Here we go.
Tucked into the back of JIMMY'S waist band is a gun.
The car pulls nearer.
JIMMY
Let's fucking, do this.
The car pulls up and THOMAS steps out, ANGEL is sat in the back seat,
her hands tied.
JACK
Jennifer!
THOMAS
Stay right there buddy!
JACK
I'm not your buddy!
THOMAS
Aw, come on fellas, we're all buddies here, remember?
JIMMY
Let's just get this over with.
THOMAS
Fine, give me the money.
JACK
Give us the girl.
THOMAS
Do you think I'm stupid? I never agreed to let you have the girl; I
said I wouldn't harm her if I got the money!
JACK
(Angry)
You fuck!
THOMAS pulls a gun.
THOMAS
I wouldn't do anything stupid, if I were you!
JACK
Well there's the difference, because if I were you I'd do something
very stupid and shoot myself!
THOMAS
Just give me the money, Jimmy.
JIMMY pulls his gun out too and they both point their guns at each
other.
THOMAS
Don't be silly, James, give me the money!
JIMMY
My Uncle called me James once, you know what I did? I shot him in the
arse with a B.B gun! You want to find out what stings more?
THOMAS
Give me the money, James!
JIMMY
They say ignorance is bliss, well you know what I say? Ignorance is why
you get shot in the arse!
JIMMY pulls the trigger, but all that comes out is water, which hits
THOMAS in the face, he laughs and JIMMY looks shocked.
THOMAS
Looks like you got a little confused in the motel and picked up the
wrong gun! Amazing what you can rob Banks with nowadays!
Shit!
THOMAS (CONT'D)
Now give me the money!
Now THOMAS pulls the trigger and shoots JIMMY in the knee, JIMMY
collapses to the ground in agony and JACK rushes to his aid as THOMAS
takes the money bag. In the distance we see Police cars and sirens.
THOMAS
Shit! Nice seeing you guys; must do this again sometime, see ya!
THOMAS gets into his car and drives away with ANGEL. JACK sees the
Police coming and helps JIMMY to his feet.
JACK
Come on, Jimmy, we're getting out of here.
JIMMY
How the fuck are we gonna do that?
JACK helps him into the passenger seat and then gets in the driver's
side.
JIMMY
Jack, you can't drive, you don't have a license!
JACK
…And what!
The car pulls away quickly and they give chase to THOMAS.
JIMMY
Fuck me, where'd you learn to do this?
JACK
…You.
JIMMY
Catch this fuck, he fucken shot me in the leg, I took all-day thinking
up a line to say before I shot the bastard! Now catch him Jack, this is
a faster car!
The car is gaining on THOMAS, JACK'S foot is to the floor and they are
making good speed on THOMAS'S car, the Police still in the distance.
JIMMY
Come on Jackie, faster, catch him. Shit!
JACK
What?
JIMMY
I could be wrong, but it looks like we are about to run out of road
soon, you'll have to stop him before he reaches the edge!
JACK
Aw, give us a fucking break, man!
The edge fast approaching, JACK'S car almost level with the other now,
but THOMAS pulls away and JACK must catch up again.
JIMMY
Gun it, Jack! Come on! This is a faster fucking car, you can make this!
I know you can! Come on!
He pulls closer, the edge not so far away.
In THOMAS'S car he keeps looking back to see how JACK is doing, ANGEL
is looking back in hope.
Back in JACK'S car, almost neck and neck.
JIMMY
Come on, son, you can do this, I believe in you, I'm proud of you, son.
Something clicks into place in Jack's head and he smiles as he races
forward and THOMAS' car comes to a skidding halt, JACK slams on the
brake and skids the car to a halt, inches away form the edge, as JIMMY
looks out his door, over the edge.
JIMMY
Aw, great, put the man with the shot leg at the door on the edge of a
large fucking cliff, what a great idea!
JACK gets out of the car, ignoring him and walks towards THOMAS' car,
where THOMAS is slumped against the wheel, unconscious and ANGEL climbs
out the car, untying her hands and runs towards JACK, smiling until she
stops and notice the armada of Police cars on their way. She turns to
walk towards them.
JACK
Jen! Wait, where the hell are you going?
She looks away, a tear to her eye.
ANGEL
It's over, okay, we're caught and if they catch you they'll shoot you,
my Stepfather will make sure of that, but if I go first…if I explain
then maybe…
Pause…
JACK
…Maybe they'll shoot me after you leave.
ANGEL
Let's not forget how this started, okay! You kidnapped me!
JACK
I saved your life!
ANGEL
Well it was your fault that, that nutcase took me in the first place!
JACK
I wasn't talking about that, I saved you, from you.
Still with her back to him, she is quiet now as the cars pull to a stop
yards away, the police get out and aim their guns at them, ordering
them to put their hands up.
ANGEL turns to JACK.
ANGEL
Jack, will you dance with me?
JACK
There's no music…and there's a lot of policemen with 'very big fucken
guns' pointed at us.
ANGEL
You wouldn't deny a lady her last dance would you?
She smiles at him and he smiles back as they reach out and take each
other's hand. He pulls her close and they dance slowly in the middle of
the desert.
The Police watch on, confused.
SHARPE
What the hell are they doing?
They continue to dance slowly, the sand blowing around them as the sun
sets in the distance. JIMMY gets out of the car hobbling towards them.
ANGEL laughs and giggles like a child as JACK clumsily stands on her
feet, he trips and leans a little closer and as she smiles one more
time he kisses her softly on the lips and they dance on, oblivious to
the rest of the world and the armada that awaits them.
JACK turns to JIMMY and puts his arm around him to help him walk; the
three of them walk towards the Police now, their hands up, silhouettes
in the mild sandstorm.
At the Police line, SHARPE smiles to himself.
SHARPE
Yeah, I got you now punks!
Just then a black limo pulls up beside him and the window rolls down,
it's ANTHONY.
ANTHONY
Mr Sharpe?
SHARPE
Yeah, that's me, who the hell are you?
ANTHONY
Anthony Novato, your employer is having a spot of trouble paying your
wages, what with the impending trial for embezzlement and he thinks it
best to drop all charges against the kidnappers, there is no warrant
for their arrest anymore, their free to go, you understand?
SHARPE
You gotta be fucking kidding me!
ANTHONY
I don't kid around Mr Sharpe, however as a consolation prize, I believe
there is still a warrant for Thomas O'Shea, I think he's in that
automobile over there, now go do your job.
SHARPE sighs and signals for the Officers to follow him, they walk
towards JACK, JIMMY & ANGEL, and they all stop to be arrested but the
Police pass them by and head for THOMAS.
JIMMY
What the fuck?
He looks up to see FRANKIE & LOUIE standing outside the limo waiting
and he smiles and JACK helps him over to them.
FRANKIE
That's a nasty gash you got there, if you don't mind me saying?
JIMMY
Actually I do.
FRANKIE
What?
JIMMY
…Mind.
LOUIE
Our Boss would like a word with you.
JACK helps JIMMY to the limo to speak to ANTHONY through the window.
ANTHONY
Mr. McCracken, thanks to your discovery, Mr. Banks won't be troubling
you anymore and from what I hear you told my men about him, that means
you can go home too now Miss.
ANGEL looks confused.
ANTHONY
Anyway, I just wanted to say that it's been interesting meeting you,
maybe another time.
The window rolls up and FRANKIE & LOUIE open the door to get in.
FRANKIE
Fucking sand!
The car drives off, leaving the three heroes alone.
JIMMY
…Merry fucking Christmas, eh?
JACK
What now?
CUT TO:
EXT. HIGHWAY – JIMMY'S CAR, AFTERNOON
JACK drives and JIMMY rests his bandaged leg on the dash.
JIMMY
Aye, no a bad wee adventure, eh Jack?
JACK
No, not bad at all.
JIMMY
Just think, most people come to America to see Mickey Mouse, we got
shot at, held up, chased cross-country but the Police, threatened by
the mob and I got shot, fuck just think you can tell cunts you shagged
a pop idol!
JACK
Aye, I did, didn't I?
JACK is beaming with pride…
JIMMY
No cunt will believe you, right enough!
JACK
Eh?
JIMMY
Well who's gonna believe you, if you tell them you shagged and fell in
love with the world's sexiest woman? I wouldn't, unless you had her
pants or something, know what I mean?
Beat…
JIMMY
You haven't?
JACK smiles.
JIMMY
You dirty bastard! Are you gonna miss her then?
JACK
Of course I will, but she's got her fame life and I've got mine. She's
right though, half a million isn't enough to keep us comfortable all
our life. We need a job.
JIMMY smiles now.
CUT TO:
EXT. MANSION – LA – 2 MONTHS LATER
ON A FANCY DOOR, JIMMY stands before it in his window cleaning gear
when the door opens and we hear the voice of a very famous female
actress.
SHARON
Hey Jimmy. How much is it, twenty?
JIMMY
Don't be daft, doll, it's fifteen for pensioners
JIMMY smiles…
CUT TO:
EXT. MANSION – DRIVEWAY – LATER
JACK & JIMMY walk down the driveway with ladders on their shoulder,
they sit them on the roof and get in their 4x4 and drive away, talking
all the while. They drive up the most prestigious housing strip in LA
and into the sun.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
"MONKEY" by Sean Wilkie Logue Page 128 of 129
Sean Logue Page 128 3/11/2002
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