The Modest House - by Ted Ryan

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THE MODEST HOUSE By Ted Ryan Copyright © 2002 Ted Ryan BLACK SCREEN: TITLE CARD (over black): "FENWICK COLLEGE" WE HEAR the sound of people outside a party... Boisterous laughter...hollering...plastic cups thrown on pavement... Muffled music blasts from inside an apartment. CUT TO: EXT. FENWICK COLLEGE. FRIDAY NIGHT EXT. OFF CAMPUS HOUSE Suddenly, a door opens, and out walks SOMEONE with really white sneakers. JUSTIN ALBRIGHT (21) swaggers back and forth and sadly looks around at OTHER COUPLES making out around him. Muttering to himself, he looks at his new sneakers, and tries to get them dirty, by scampering them in the mud... As JUSTIN walks home alone, he passes FRIENDS and COUNTERPARTS; some say "hi", some don't. A few moments later, however, MATT TURNER (21), Justin's gregarious roommate, leaps onto JUSTIN'S back from behind; finally, a friend. MATT I caught you. JUSTIN I'm sorry. I had to get out of there. MATT You do this every fucking time. MATT pauses to light a cigarette. MATT Justin, did you happen to see all the fucking girls that were coming in the door? I don't think leaving was one of your best ideas. JUSTIN I don't know— MATT You don't have to think they're the greatest people in the world. You don't even have to listen to a word that comes out of their mouths. But, snobby girls are always hot, and they're very fun to hit on. MATT smiles mischievously. JUSTIN (confused): What? MATT continues to grin, and nods his head in the direction of TWO GIRLS; JUSTIN sees them. JUSTIN (with excitement): Them? You've been talking to them? MATT nods, proud of himself. MATT: Good looking, right? JUSTIN: Well, what are you going to do? MATT: I don't know. Let me introduce you. JUSTIN No, don't. It will look weird. Let them come over here. JUSTIN gathers his wits. MATT doesn't have time for this and calls over to the GIRLS. MATT: Hey, guys. GIRLS Yeah. MATT I want you to meet my friend. Come here. The GIRLS approach, giggling. MATT Justin, this is Beth and Suzanne. And, Beth and Suzanne, this is Justin. The GIRLS look insulted; MATT doesn't get it. He tries to think. GIRL #1 Whatever. The GIRLS storm off. MATT What? What did I do? MATT follows. Then it hits him. MATT (trying to remember their names): I mean, Beth and Sarah. I'm sorry. Beth and Sarah, come back. The GIRLS still look insulted. GIRL #2 Give it up JUSTIN They know were desperate. MATT turns to the girls, who are now walking the other way. MATT: Girls, don't do this. Please. JUSTIN I think it's over, man. MATT But, I...I. JUSTIN You tried. JUSTIN pats MATT on the shoulder. MATT suddenly gets filled with anger. So, he picks up a giant trash can, and throws it on the ground. Garbage spills everywhere. MATT Goddamn it! KIDS on the other side of the street laugh. They tip over a garbage barrel also. The boys continue walking. MATT They're probably going to go some party late night with a bunch of fucking hockey players. JUSTIN I think the hockey players might know their names. MATT Justin, don't patronize me. JUSTIN laughs. They keep moving. Just then, A COP CRUISER slowly approaches. JUSTIN Shit. MATT Remain calm. Walk slowly. No big deal. The two boys meet eyes with the OFFICER inside the car, and he continues on his way. JUSTIN: I'm nervous. Those guys will arrest you for anything. MATT That's what happens when you put a college in the middle of Buttfuck, USA. Good old Johnny Law doesn't take kindly to a bunch of pseudo-drunks going to school in his town. MATT and JUSTIN round their street. TITLE CARD: "SENIOR HOUSING" THE CAMERA PANS to their living quarters, an ugly rundown house that emanates the definition of college living. It is decorated with tacky lights, and title "The Modest House" is spray painted across the door. MATT Home, sweet home. The boys go inside. CUT TO: INT. THE MODEST HOUSE --MATT rolls a joint and smokes it --JUSTIN cooks up some Ramen and eats it --Their other roommates TYLER and JIMMY are passed out. CUT TO: EXT. FRESHMAN DORM TITLE CARD: "FRESHMAN HOUSING" Huddled in their beds, and hanging over garbage barrels, the LITTLE FRESHMEN struggle through the earliest experiences of excessive binge drinking. MOVING through the corridors of the freshman dorms, adorned with signs like "Beating the Homesick Blues" WE ARRIVE at one particular room. INT. JAMIE'S DORM ROOM The room is nice and neat; a stack of Gatorades leans against the wall—the room of an athlete. JAMIE HALLOWAY (18), a blond freshman talks to her boyfriend on the phone. TITLE CARD: "THE STAPLE OF ANY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP: THE PHONE CALL" SCOTT (18) is talking to JAMIE from his dorm room in NEW YORK. SCOTT How's life in Maine? JAMIE It's going. Probably a little slower than life New York. They both laugh. JAMIE: I miss you. SCOTT: I miss you too. SCOTT grins. JAMIE: Talking on the phone. It's so frustrating sometimes...To tell you the truth, I'm sick of talking. SCOTT You want me to shut up. Cause I can-- JAMIE No, no. I wasn't serious. I was kind of like thinking in my head. SCOTT Oh, I see. JAMIE (again) I miss you alot. SCOTT (out of habit) I miss you too. There is a pause. JAMIE smiles, but SCOTT rolls his eyes. SCOTT Thanksgiving is only a couple of months away. You know. JAMIE 59 days. I'm counting them down. JAMIE smiles. SCOTT Just keep thinking about that. And, when we're home, you know what the first thing we'll do? JAMIE What? SCOTT (looking at his watch) We'll go to Percy's for breakfast. Get some waffles. Talk to Darlene. JAMIE I love Darlene. She's the best. SCOTT I know you do. JUST THEN, a female hand pops over SCOTT'S shoulder, and someone giggles. A RANDOM GIRL is lying in SCOTT'S bed. SCOTT Listen, sweetie, I feel bad. I don't want to keep you up. I should probably let you go. You got practice tomorrow morning. JAMIE That's okay. I don't mind. I don't. SCOTT (looking at the chic on his bed): No, I want you to do your best tomorrow. You need your sleep. You're my soccer girl. JAMIE I am? SCOTT Yeah. JAMIE Alright. SCOTT is eager to jump in bed with his latest conquest. JAMIE So I'll call you tomorrow or you call me. SCOTT As usual. Yup. You got it. SCOTT takes off his shirt, preparing to get nasty. JAMIE looks at her clock, and yawns. JAMIE Okay, bye...I love you. JAMIE hangs up the phone. She gets under her covers, and is about to go to bed. Suddenly, a key is turned loudly, the door opens, and in stumbles Jamie's annoying roommate, TERESA (18). JAMIE (from under her covers) Hey, Teresa. TERESA What's up? After knocking things over and spilling CDs on the floor, TERESA collapses on her bed. JAMIE Your mom called. TERESA remains motionless, about to pass out. TERESA Listen. I'm pretty drunk. So, if I start to throw up, roll me on my side, okay? CUT TO: EXT. ALBERT HOWELL'S HOUSE--DAWN It is a small one-story house, with a police cruiser parked out front. CUT TO: INT. ALBERT HOWELL'S HOUSE CLOSE-UPS on pictures of a once burly football star. CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S SHOWER HOWELL stands in the shower, like a zombie, wishing that he could somehow evaporate in the mist. JUMPCUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S BEDROOM HOWELL looks in the mirror, smoking a cigarette, and puts on his police uniform. Behind him, there's a TV stand without a TV. FLASHBACK TO: INT. HOWELL'S BEDROOM--A WEEK BEFORE HOWELL'S wife, CINDY, is crying and packing her things. CINDY Albert, this isn't working anymore. I want a divorce. HOWELL and CINDY both stare at the TV that's on the TV stand. CUT BACK TO PRESENT: INT. HOWELL'S BEDROOM HOWELL does the last button on his shirt, and adjusts his badge. CUT TO: EXT. STREETS OF TOWSON The SUN rises over the horizon, bringing a new day. CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S CRUISER HOWELL drives to work, looking like he's on ten pills of valium. CUT TO: EXT. HOWELL'S CRUISER HOWELL passes by FENWICK COLLEGE and through the lovely Towson. CUT TO: INT. MODEST HOUSE—LATER IN THE MORNING The Modest House emanates college living—cluttered, tacky, posters, etc. MATT is passed out on the couch, with a bowl of nachos at his feet. JIMMY, a chubby Italian, is face down on his bed. TYLER, a skinny intellectual, is lying on his back with his hands folded on his chest. Just then, the phone rings loudly. JUSTIN stumbles out of his room to get it, tired and groggy -eyed. CUT TO: EXT. TOWSON POLICE STATION. STILL MORNING As HOWELL walks into the station from his car, he spills his coffee all over the ground. CUT TO: INT. TOWSON POLICE STATION Inside, things seem peaceful, and HOWELL gives a sigh of relief. JUMPCUT TO: INT. OFFICE But, when HOWELL sits down at his desk, his face immediately drops. On his desk is a huge mound of paperwork. CLOSE UP ON TOP OF THE PILE, which reads: "Fenwick College Arrests, Friday Night." HOWELL lights a much-needed cigarette. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN JUSTIN is talking to his mother on the phone. JUSTIN (on the phone in a daze) Yes, I scheduled the interview...Yes, I have the blazer, and, of course, I got a hair cut. And, it looks really good. At least, that's what everyone tells me. JUSTIN listens, wiping his eyes; his hair is still shaggy. JUSTIN (on the phone) Mom, I just said I have some qualms. I didn't say I wasn't going to take the job if they give it to me. But, it is Delaware...Delaware. JUSTIN continues to talk with his mom... CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM On the couch, MATT opens his eyes, and pulls a cigarette from a battered pack. MATT frisks himself for a lighter or matches, but can't find either. He looks over at JIMMY (21), a plump Italian, who is sitting on the easy chair. MATT Hey, Jimmy, you got my lighter? JIMMY Nope. MATT hears JUSTIN talking on the phone; he looks up confused. JIMMY Justin's mom is calling to make sure he's doing everything in his power to find employment next year. And, Justin is trying to be nice about it, but you can tell he's blowing her off. MATT nods. JIMMY is drawing in a sketchbook: it a picture of MATT. MATT What are you doing? JIMMY Stay still. MATT grabs the sketchbook. MATT What did I tell you about this? What did I tell you? JIMMY looks at MATT perplexed. MATT Don't draw me, man. Draw naked models. MATT looks at the picture. MATT My nose isn't that big. MATT shrugs and walks off in search of way to light his cigarette. INT. KITCHEN JUSTIN is still at it with his mother. JUSTIN I'll call you and I'll tell you how it went...Yes...Okay, I have to go. I have a beep. JUSTIN answers the beep. JUSTIN Hello. JUSTIN looks immediately at MATT in the other room; MATT stares at him in horror... JUSTIN Oh, hi. How are you? The morning commotion has begun; JUSTIN communicates to MATT. JUSTIN mouths some words. SUBTITLE: "It's Brandy" MATT replies nervous. SUBTITLE: "Tell her I'm not here" JUSTIN nods. JUSTIN Hey. Hello. Yeah, well. I'm trying to find him. But, he can be sort of evasive sometimes. Like not to people, but, he can get lost. And, I been looking for him, but it was a crazy night so... Finally, a lanky intellectual walks into the room, and grabs the phone from JUSTIN. THIS IS TYLER (21). TYLER (on the phone) No, Brandy, he's not here right now. But, I'll give him the message, okay. Bye. TYLER hangs up the phone, and smiles at JUSTIN. TYLER It's a lot easier if you just rip off the band-aid right off. MATT is huddled in the corner. MATT Thank you, Tyler. TYLER My pleasure. TYLER gets himself a bowl of cereal. JUSTIN (to MATT) Dude, I don't understand why you're so afraid of that girl. You make such a big deal about it. It's like...talk to her. MATT shakes his head. FLASHBACK TO: INT. CLASSROOM--DAY MATT meets BRANDY (19) for the first time, as they ignore their boring PROFESSOR babbling about the annals of ancient psychology. MATT (to Brandy): This guy's pretty interesting. BRANDY laughs. MATT I'm not showing up until the final. BRANDY laughs again. MATT introduces himself to her. MATT: Matt Turner. BRANDY Brandy. MATT Nice to meet you. CUT BACK TO PRESENT: INT. KITCHEN JUSTIN is still talking to MATT. JUSTIN So, you met her a few weeks ago? God forbid you've haven't been buddy-buddy with her since freshman year. FLASHBACK TO: INT. CLASSROOM MATT and BRANDI are talking, trying to avoid the lethally banal lecture. MATT All we do at this college on Saturday afternoons is sit around and waste time. Listen, I understand there's nothing to do until nine or ten. But, I say, why not do something before we start drinking. Something fun. Like, why not go downtown and see a movie? BRANDY is charmed by MATT'S good humor. MATT I mean, how often to you get to see a good flick? Get the popcorn and the candy, eat it all before the previews start. Good time. MATT takes some time to prepare his next line. MATT Would you happening to be doing anything this Saturday? BRANDY I don't think so. MATT You want to see a movie? BRANDY Sure. CUT BACK TO PRESENT: INT. KITCHEN MATT is smoking another cigarette. JUSTIN So, you went to the movies with her? FLASHBACK TO: INT. MATT'S CAR MATT has rolled a huge joint, and lights it when he sees BRANDY coming out of her dorm. But, BRANDY has brought a friend... BRANDI gets in the car, with TARA. MATT Hey, how's it going? BRANDY Matt, this is my roommate, Tara. MATT How you doing, Tara? I'm glad you decided to join us. TARA immediately freaks out when she sees the joint. JUMPCUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY INT. MATT'S CAR MATT takes a huge hit off his joint, and passes it to TARA. MATT This is some fucking good weed. (trying to be funny) Hope we make it to the theatre. TARA almost shits a brick. MATT hands the joint to TARA. TARA No, that's okay. BRANDY (to TARA) You don't want to smoke? TARA It's like one in the afternoon. MATT hands the joint to BRANDY. BRANDY (to MATT) Maybe I shouldn't either. MATT Okay. Both girls stare at MATT, who is smoking the entire joint himself. CUT BACK TO PRESENT: INT. KITCHEN MATT I was trying so hard to be nice, but she was... FLASHBACK TO: INT. MOVIE THEATRE MATT, BRANDY, and TARA are waiting in line for the movie. MATT goes to pay for the tickets... He feels for his wallet, but all he gets is an empty pocket. CUT TO: INT. MATT'S ROOM CLOSE UP on his wallet, which he left on his desk. CUT TO: INT. MOVIE THEATRE MATT Hey, guys. I don't know what happened. But, somehow I'm kind of strapped for cash. BRANDY Well, I didn't bring any money. TARA rolls her eyes, and MATT whispers to her. JUMPCUT TO: INT. MOVIE THEATRE TARA has to use her credit card to pay for the tickets. BACK TO PRESENT: INT. KITCHEN TYLER Well, she must have liked something about you. MATT It must be my boyish charm. CUT TO: INT. BRANDY'S DORM ROOM An angry TARA watches as BRANDY picks up the phone. BRANDY I can't call him and ask. You know how weird that is. TARA Brandy, he owes me money. BRANDY It was three movie tickets. TARA Plus the two large popcorns and the five candy bars. And, when I got the car, he asked me for four bucks so he could buy cigarettes. BRANDY finally agrees. She starts to dial MATT'S number. CUT BACK TO PRESENT: INT. KITCHEN JUSTIN looks at MATT perplexed. MATT (like a wise sage) Some girls just aren't very nice. And, it's too bad. Especially for someone like me. MATT puts out his cigarette. JUSTIN Hey, what are you doing about next year? MATT is surprised by the question. JUSTIN Like after we graduate. MATT: You mean when we're out of college? JUSTIN nods nervously; he obviously has some apprehensions. MATT That's a good question. MATT hasn't really thought about it. MATT I don't know. I'll probably go to Africa and build huts or something. JUSTIN looks at him puzzled. MATT Wherever I go. Hey, you know, it'll be cool. As long as it's warm...and sunny. MATT looks out the window. MATT Being a senior in college is a lot different than being a freshman in college. The shit is crazier. MATT gets silly, and starts to slap JUSTIN on the back. MATT Wouldn't you say? JUSTIN half smiles. MATT laughs and starts to punch him on the arm. JUSTIN Cut it out. MATT Come on, where's your sense of adventure? Your sense of fun? JUSTIN I'm not in the mood for this. It's too early. JUSTIN looks out the window too. MATT: You're freaking out. JUSTIN takes a deep breath. He confesses. JUSTIN I have an interview on Monday. With some insurance company. I don't know that I'm going to do. MATT You better trim off that mop top off, man. That shit won't fly in the corporate world. JUSTIN Maybe, I just won't go. MATT Justin, trust me. Cut your hair, make some money. JUSTIN I don't want to work a 9-5 for the rest of my life. MATT laughs. MATT Let me guess. You want to go to California, get a record deal. JUSTIN There's something cool about being that guy that's following his dream. That doesn't care. That's going to put it all on the line. MATT shakes his head. MATT Trust me. The whole starving artist starts to become a real pain in your ass when you realize that the reason that you call yourself "starving" is not cause you're unique but because you don't have any money. JUSTIN looks disenchanted. MATT becomes self-reflexive. MATT But, hey. I'm lucky. I'm rich and my parents don't care if I fuck around...for like two years. MATT thinks for minute, and then changes his tone. MATT Now, onto the matter at hand: you want to get a keg, and throw a party tonight? Get some tasty bitches in this piece. CUT TO: EXT. FENWICK ATHLETIC FACILITIES—MORNING The building is decorated with banners, such as "LADY COUGARS SOCCER, A TRADITION OF EXCELLENCE, and "GO FENWICK!" EXT. PRACTICE FIELD On the field, the GIRLS team is having a scrimmage. JAMIE is handling herself well against the talented UPPERCLASSMEN. CUT TO: INT. ALBERT HOWELL'S OFFICE HOWELL is on the phone, babbling with the Fenwick College administration about the previous night's arrests. HOWELL (on the phone) Yes, I think throwing beer bottles at cars is considered more than a misdemeanor charge in most states. HOWELL looks at his pack of cigarettes. HOWELL And, you don't agree. Because, let me guess. Young Jimmy Neutron's father just got elected to the board of trustees and paid a million dollars for that new athletic facility on the hill. Sure makes the alumni excited. (beat) But Earth to Marty, Al doesn't give a shit. HOWELL grabs a cigarette. HOWELL We have to talk to these kids. No more of this invisible bullshit. Please, let's do something about this. (beat) Oh, you have to call me back? (beat) Okay, I'm sure you are. I'll be waiting by the phone. HOWELL slams down the phone. HOWELL (to himself) Pig fucker! Then, he goes to his copying machine, and makes copy of notice he is sending to all the off campus houses. CLOSE UP ON notices, which read: "TO: FENWICK COLLEGE OFF CAMPUS RESIDENTS, FROM: TOWSON POLICE DEPARTMENT..." PATTY (60), Howell's adorable secretary, comes into the office with a cup of coffee. HOWELL Hi, Patty. PATTY: Happy Birthday, Albert. PATTY puts down the cup of coffee, and smiles at HOWELL. HOWELL lights a cigarette. PATTY I heard you spilled your coffee this morning. So, I got you some French Vanilla from Wilson's. HOWELL (in a genuine manner) You didn't have to do that. PATTY (jokingly) Well, I didn't want the birthday boy to have any of those awful caffeine headaches. HOWELL The nicotine ones are much worst. PATTY You should try tea. HOWELL I should. But, I'm not going to. PATTY looks at HOWELL, and gives him a consoling look. PATTY Things getting hectic? HOWELL Sixteen arrests last night. Four kids caught urinating on public property. Seven nabbed for vandalism. And, five found in the seven eleven parking lot. We think nachos were involved. PATTY Oh, my. HOWELL starts looking at the reports on his desk. HOWELL The neighbors have had it up to here, the Fenwick administration has had it up to here, every guy on the force has had it up to here. PATTY I think you've all just had little bit too much. HOWELL looks at PATTY and sips his coffee; well said. Just then, a young officer named RANDY comes in. HOWELL Good morning, Randy. RANDY Officer Howell, I was wondering if you wanted to join the office pool. HOWELL For what? RANDY The football game. Fenwick and Colby. I'm thinking a tie. HOWELL You guys are betting on division three college football? RANDY looks at him dumbfounded. HOWELL What the fuck is wrong with you? HOWELL mutters to himself. HOWELL How much is the jackpot? RANDY A hundred dollars. HOWELL (considering) That's awfully miniscule. But, I wouldn't mind having a TV again. HOWELL hands RANDY a dollar. RANDY I'm sorry, it's five dollar minimum, Officer Howell. HOWELL gives him a five. HOWELL I'll take Colby by nine. RANDY takes the cash and writes it down. HOWELL And, Randy, please. Call me Al. RANDY Right. It's just that when you used to come into class and speak to us about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, I got used to thinking of you as-- HOWELL That was a long time ago. And those days are over now. Randy, you're a man now, not a pimply faced adolescent with braces. RANDY Right. RANDY exits. RANDY See you later...Al. CUT TO: INT. GIRL'S LOCKER ROOM Inside the girl's locker room, the TEAM is taking a break. JAMIE is listening to her the SUPREMES on her headphones, while putting on a fresh practice jersey. Simultaneously, some of Jamie's teammates are watching her. LUCY WILDER (21) is the hard-ass team captain. Her sidekick is another upper classman, STACEY (19). The two observe JAMIE, puzzled. LUCY (observing Jamie) That freshman is such a space cadet. STACEY: She never takes off her walkman. LUCY I wonder what she's listening to. STACEY David Bowie. They laugh. STACEY How do you think she'll do at the initiation? LUCY God only knows. LUCY doesn't know. SIMULTANEOUSLY, a friendly teammate taps Jamie on the shoulder. THIS IS CLAIRE (18). CLAIRE (overhearing the Supremes) I like your tunes. JAMIE turns around, taking off her headphones. JAMIE Oh, thanks. CLAIRE Supremes, Diana Ross: good shit. Makes me wish I grew up in the sixties. CLAIRE takes a moment to introduce herself. CLAIRE I know that we've known each other since summer sessions, but I'm Claire by the way. JAMIE Jamie. CLAIRE Where are you from, Jamie? JAMIE I live in Boyden, third floor. CLAIRE No, I didn't mean what dorm. I mean what state, like home. JAMIE Oh. Massachusetts. CLAIRE Near Boston? JAMIE Plymouth. CLAIRE No shit. You go to the rock at all? Take in the history. JAMIE No, not really. (beat) Where are you from? CLAIRE Jersey. Shitsville. JAMIE (thinking) Never been to Shitsville. JAMIE laughs. CLAIRE It's actually not as bad everyone says. Like I have these friends that live in Camden, which is so-so, but, they still-- Just then LUCY calls to her underlings. LUCY Hey, freshmen, let's get moving. No one wants to run laps for being late. CLAIRE Guess we got to go. JAMIE and CLAIRE regain their senses, and follow their unfriendly team captain onto the field. CUT TO: EXT. THE MODEST HOUSE--NOONTIME Outside on the lawn of the modest house, the gang is sitting around trying to start a barbecue. MATT is fumbling with an old rusty grill, which looks like it's on the verge of explosion. JUSTIN I don't know if this is a good idea. MATT Can I see the charcoal, please. MATT throws charcoal in the grill. JIMMY This grill looks ancient. MATT Lighter fluid. MATT dowses the charcoal with lighter fluid. JUSTIN Matt, what if it explodes? MATT And can I have some meat? JUSTIN You found it on the side of the road. Buried under a giant plastic tarp. MATT looks for some matches. MATT We need some meat. JUSTIN gives a concerned look as the grill starts to smoke. JUSTIN I don't know. Shouldn't we at least inspect it for bugs? MATT (opening the top of the grill) MEAT! MATT ignores TYLER and begins humming like an insane cook. JUSTIN goes into the house to get the steaks, shaking his head. CUT TO: INT. PIZZA JOINT—DAY HOWELL and his buddy, RANDY (30) are waiting in line for lunch. A group of COLLEGE KIDS are obviously intimidated by the police officers. CUT TO: EXT. YARD OF MODEST HOUSE—2 MINUTES LATER JUSTIN returns with the steaks. He hands them to MATT. MATT: Now, before we can enjoy our meal, I'd like to say grace. MATT nods toward TYLER. TYLER: Don't you say grace when the food is on your plate? Anyway, we need to have something else-- TYLER gives in. TYLER: This is so fucking stupid. MATT (to everyone): Fold your hands. Come on. TYLER (repeating "MATT'S version of grace): Bless us oh modest house for these thy gifts which we are about to receive through our new grill. TYLER/MATT/JUSTIN/JIMMY: Amen. MATT smiles. MATT (throwing the meat on the grill): Okay, now let's cook these bad boys. MATT begins to cook his feast; he talks to his friends. CUT TO: INT. PIZZA JOINT—15 MINUTES LATER HOWELL and RANDY are sitting at a table, enjoying subs; HOWELL looks at the kids. HOWELL (in deep thought): What I'd give to be in college again. RANDY smiles. HOWELL Being a kid without a care in the world. And, the girls that I use to fuck. My God. RANDY is startled. HOWELL looks down at his plate embarrassed by himself. HOWELL Now all I do every morning is wake up and count the hairs on my head. RANDY doesn't know what to say. RANDY Nothing lasts forever. HOWELL Before you know it, I'll be retired, and playing golf. And, I don't even like golf. RANDY keeps eating; it gives him excuse not to talk. HOWELL You know what, Randy. I'm glad that you're happily married. You got the wife, the kids, the nice big station wagon. RANDY nods. HOWELL Me, somehow, I've ended up on the other side of the spectrum. Drinking beers late at night, smoking cigarettes, yelling at my ex-wife on the phone, praying that she'll give me back my fucking TV. RANDY finishes his sub, and pats HOWELL on the shoulder. RANDY It's the divorce. HOWELL looks at him surprised. RANDY You should probably see a shrink. CUT TO: EXT. THE MODEST HOUSE. LATER IN THE AFTERNOON The boys are finishing up their steaks, and drinking cheep beer from cans. JIMMY is drawing in his notebook, copying a picture of model from Maxim magazine. TYLER leaves has left his steak untouched, and is playing chess with himself. JIMMY Would you like to see? TYLER Sure. TYLER looks at the drawing—it's a young girl. TYLER Who is that? JIMMY holds up a photograph of KIRSTEN DUNST he's been copying. JIMMY Kirsten Dunst. She's my divine inspiration. TYLER looks at the drawing oddly. JIMMY (hurt) You don't like it. TYLER I didn't say that. JIMMY I can tell. The tone of your voice. TYLER Jimmy, it's... JIMMY I know it's not exactly the Mona Lisa. TYLER It's a picture from a magazine. That's what it really is. And, it's from Maxim. JIMMY And what do you think they said to Andy Warhol? Please. TYLER looks at the picture over and over to find something good. JIMMY gives a sigh; he's obviously frustrated. JIMMY I might as well just switch my major again. TYLER You can't, Jimmy. JIMMY But, I wouldn't mind doing the theatre again. That was an experience. TYLER You said you hated that. JIMMY Well, the director thought I was talented. He told me. TYLER You were the only guy that auditioned for Annie. JIMMY Fine, fine. (thinking) I'll try history. TYLER Sophomore year. JIMMY You're right. (beat) Pity me. (beat) For Christ sakes. TYLER tries to give a sincere grin. JIMMY It guess it's back to the canvas for me. JIMMY continues drawing. MATT walks up to TYLER; he looks at TYLER'S untouched plate confused. MATT Tyler, I thought you liked it bloody. CLOSE UP on incredibly rare steak, dripping with blood. TYLER Matt, I've only been a vegetarian for six years. MATT leaves TYLER, and approaches JUSTIN, throwing a cigarette in his mouth. JUSTIN is sorting through old CDs. MATT Hey, Justin. JUSTIN What? MATT You want to come with me? JUSTIN (getting up) Where are we going? MATT It's a surprise. JUSTIN Okay. You want to go right now? MATT Yes, I want to go right now. JUSTIN follows MATT; but MATT turns around, looking at JUSTIN'S white sneakers. MATT (with no time to spare) Hey, get some other shoes. Those ones are too white. CUT TO: EXT. WOODS--10 MINUTES LATER MATT and JUSTIN have probably walked a mile, and the forest is getting deeper. The birds are chirping, and nature is peaceful. Nevertheless, JUSTIN is looking around, confused. JUSTIN Why are we in the woods? MATT Don't worry about that, man. MATT keeps walking, determined to reach his destination MATT Close your eyes, please. JUSTIN is perplexed, but does it anyway. MATT Now, follow my voice. They come to a clearing, and WE HEAR the sounds of a sports practice. MATT Keep them closed. Come on. JUSTIN (stumbling with his hands over his eyes): They're closed. MATT Alright...Here, here, here. JUSTIN Is that a whistle? MATT Okay, you can open them. JUSTIN opens his eyes, and is aware of his surroundings... TITLE CARD: "MATT'S SECRET PLACE" EXT. CLEARING ...JUSTIN and MATT have walked to the top of a hill that overlooks the girl's soccer practice field. MATT Stay low. JUSTIN They can't see us, can they? MATT (whispering) Don't pop your head up too high. Like Columbus discovering America, MATT holds his hands out over the scenery below: fifteen girls having practice. MATT (mischievously) Girls' soccer practice. JUSTIN You come here and spy on them? MATT (smiling) Every Saturday. All the lovely ladies are practicing hard, drinking water, etc. MATT Isn't this awesome? I wasn't going to tell anybody about it at first. But, then I realized that would be sort of selfish. JUSTIN looks around at the woods, and the girls on the field. JUSTIN This is fucking sketchy. I just want to let you know. Just then, JUSTIN sees the gorgeous JAMIE HALLOWAY... He stares at her in awe; the standard male gaze. MATT notices. MATT What? You know that girl? FLASHBACK TO: EXT. CAMPUS—ONE AFTERNOON JUSTIN is walking to class one day. He's trying to read his notes when he suddenly bumps into someone. Their glasses fall off. JUSTIN Oh God. JUSTIN looks down and sees the lovely JAMIE HALLOWAY. JUSTIN I'm so sorry. JAMIE It's okay. Don't worry about it. JUSTIN I wasn't looking. I should've been, but I wasn't. JAMIE picks up her glasses, smiles, and then walks away quickly. CUT BACK TO PRESENT: EXT. WOODS JUSTIN looks at JAMIE longingly. MATT gives her a quick glance. MATT (pointing at a BRUNETTE) I like the brunette better. MATT sees another GIRL; his attention is soon diverted. MATT Actually, forget I even mentioned her. MATT finds a new FAVORITE with every glance, a testament to his character. CUT TO: EXT. FIELD On the field, A GIRL boots a corner kick far past the field. CUT TO: EXT. HIDING SPOT The ball steeples high over the practice field, and lands in the woods, right near MATT and JUSTIN'S hiding spot. JUSTIN'S face freezes. MATT: Time to split. CUT TO: The GIRL, who kicked the ball, is going into the woods to retrieve it. The BOYS are about to be discovered... CUT TO: EXT. HIDING SPOT JUSTIN and MATT have started to run. Luckily, they escape, but someone gets a glimpse of them from afar... CUT TO: EXT. SOCCER FIELD JAMIE and LUCY are lined up against each other for a drill; LUCY Hey, freshman. How's it going? (beat) Are you fast? Just then, the COACH blows the whistle, and JAMIE and LUCY go after the same ball. The young freshman tries to prove herself against the team captain. But, the moment that JAMIE gets close enough to reach the ball, JAMIE loses her balance, and twists her ankle. She gives a yelp of pain, and the TRAINERS run over. CUT TO: EXT. TOWSON POLICE STATION. MID-AFTERNOON INT. BIG MEETING ROOM AT THE STATION OFFICER BILLY CHAMBERS (35) an insecure man, with a carnal love for law enforcement, leads the meeting. CHAMBERS has a marker and huge board in front of him, which he's writing on. CLOSE UP ON board, which is covered with silly police diagrams, etc. CHAMBERS I know it's been a long week, and I know that we're tired. HOWELL sits in the audience, skeptical. CHAMBERS And, I know that Fenwick College is the eternal pain in our ass. CHAMBERS holds up pictures of various off campus residences. CHAMBERS If I could, I'd move the fucking college to Canada. But, unfortunately, that's not going to happen. HOWELL is puzzled. CHAMBERS: So, tonight, bring an extra pair of handcuffs. Cause we're not taking anymore bullshit. If anyone is under the legal drinking age of twenty one, arrest them. CUT TO: EXT. YARD OF MODEST HOUSE JIMMY is napping on a lawn chair. MATT is walking around with a shovel; TYLER follows with a big bucket of water; JUSTIN has a box. JUSTIN Thanks for helping me out guys. TYLER You're our friend. We had no choice. MATT (scanning the lawn) Hey, Tyler, do you know which part of the lawn has the darkest dirt? TYLER I'm not a gardening expert. MATT (to Justin) Cause I do believe there a various subtypes of lawn dirt. MATT stops, and grabs the shovel. MATT This will have to do. TYLER puts the water down and MATT shovels dirt into the bucket. The water becomes dark, and murky. MATT Okay, take them out. JUSTIN takes out his new sneakers, and drops them into the muddy water, hoping to get rid of the white glow. CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S OFFICE--AN HOUR LATER HOWELL is doing paperwork, when he hears commotion and giggling in the hallway. Suddenly, the ENTIRE TOWSON POLICE DEPARTMENT enters the office, singing "Happy Birthday." PATTY brings in an elaborate cake with candles. PATTY Make a wish, Albert. HOWELL blows out his candles, blushing from the entire saga. JUMPCUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S OFFICE—15 MINUTES LATER The birthday celebration is now in full swing; people are eating cake, chatting, etc. CHAMBERS (patting HOWELL on the shoulder): Albert, how does it feel to be forty-six HOWELL shakes his head. CHAMBERS Too good for words. (patting him on the back) That's what I thought. HOWELL'S buddies crowd around him, and start singing "He's a jolly good fellow." CUT TO: EXT. FENWICK ATHLETIC FACILITY Soccer practice has ended, and all the girls are going on their separate ways, talking, etc. JAMIE is on crutches, with ice and tape attached to her ankle. She struggles with a giant duffel bag that's about twice her size. LUCY WILDER yells to her from a distance. LUCY Hey, freshman. You better be at the initiation tonight. No, ifs, ands, or buts. You got that? JAMIE looks around helplessly. No one has offered to help her. Then, CLAIRE approaches, and grabs the bag. CLAIRE Give it to me. JAMIE (relieved) Thanks, Claire. CLAIRE How's the ankle? JAMIE It's pretty swollen. CLAIRE Let me say. You really were holding your own out there. Everyone was totally impressed. I even heard that Coach Meyers might want to start you against Bowdoin. CLAIRE looks at JAMIE'S ankle. CLAIRE Well, before you got hurt he said that. JAMIE That's okay. I'll only be out for three days. CLAIRE Three days. Jamie, you're foot is the size of a watermelon. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S DORM—10 MINUTES LATER JAMIE charges down the hallway (as fast as one can on crutches), and opens her door, praying her annoying roommate will not be there. CLAIRE stops at the door. CLAIRE Someone's in a rush. JAMIE wants to call SCOTT. CLAIRE Okay, I'm going back to my dorm. Got to get ready for the big initiation. I can hardly wait. JAMIE Don't even remind me. CLAIRE I'll call you later. Maybe, we can hang out or something. JAMIE That sounds cool. CLAIRE begins to leave. JAMIE Thanks for carrying my bag. CLAIRE Don't even mention it...I'll see you later. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S ROOM JAMIE looks around, and smiles. On her bed is a note. CLOSE UP ON NOTE, which reads: "Jamie, went out for the afternoon. Be back soon. Love, your roomie--Teresa. JAMIE (muttering sarcastically): Roomie. JAMIE hops on her crutches over to the CD player, which is cluttered with Teresa's awful music. JAMIE throws in one of her Supremes CDs. The sophisticated yet swinging "I HEAR A SYMPHONY"/BY THE SUPERMES" envelops the room and JAMIE starts to sing as she always does in moments like these. She goes to her phone, humming along, and dials anxiously. JAMIE (on the phone) Hello, is Scott there?...Oh, well, can you tell him that his girlfriend called...Thanks. JAMIE hangs up the phone, and looks around in dismay. IMMEDIATE INTERCUT TO: INT. DORM ROOM IN NEW YORK ONE of SCOTT'S ROOMMATES, turns to another ROOMMATE. ROOMMATE #1 She called again. ROOMMATE #2 Jamie? ROOMMATE #1 She's got to know. ROOMMATE #2 Scott should just tell her. ROOMATE #1 He's not going to tell her. He doesn't have to. ROOMMATE #2 looks at him confused. ROOMMATE #1 Date a girl for a long time, let her fall in love you, and you'll realize that "the truth" isn't a very important word. The TWO ROOMMATES look at each other for a second. CUT BACK TO: INT. JAMIE'S DORM ROOM At the worst time, TERESA comes barging in the room, knocking things over as usual. TERESA Hey, what's up? JAMIE Hey. TERESA walks over to the CD players and shuts off the music. TERESA (wincing) Oh, God, what are you listening to? Before JAMIE can answer, she realizes her roommate has sustained an injury. TERESA You're on crutches. JAMIE (pointing to her swollen ankle) I sprained my ankle at practice. TERESA Yikes. TERESA turns on some terrible music. TERESA Tonight is like supposed to be an awesome party night. I'm so siked. Every frat and off campus house is having at least three kegs. It's going to be crazy. JAMIE Cool. TERESA There is this place called the Modest House. I'll probably end up going there. TERESA stops for a second. TERESA Are you going out? CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM AT THE MODEST HOUSE—LATE AFTERNOON On the ground are sheets of music and lyrics. JUSTIN struggles with his guitar, trying to write a new song. He keeps messing his song up, and getting more and more frustrated. Just then, MATT busts into the room, chugging a beer. MATT Let me hear it. JUSTIN No. Not yet. MATT looks at JUSTIN. MATT Come one, sing me the first verse. MATT looks at JUSTIN for a few seconds; he knows something's up. MATT It's not about a girl, is it? JUSTIN No. MATT (like he's on to something) You crazy fuck...That girl we saw today...Oh shit. MATT is hysterical. MATT I shouldn't have taken you to my secret place. I knew it. MATT keeps laughing until he realizes JUSTIN is upset. MATT: Hey, don't get just sit there and write songs. Call her and make something happen. JUSTIN Yeah, right. MATT You've got nothing to lose. I know that sounds cliched, but you really don't. JUSTIN She's a soccer player, dude. JUSTIN puts his guitar down. MATT So? JUSTIN So, I think it would be a waste of time to embarrass myself for no reason and then have to see this girl everyday and know her friends were making fun of me. MATT picks up JUSTIN'S guitar. MATT The girls that you're into. They have lots of self-esteem. That might be your problem. MATT tries to play a chord. MATT And, you don't have to take my advice or anything. But, remember: great things can be achieved if one is willing to compromise. MATT thinks about what he says, and then worries about matters at hand. MATT: On that note, I'm going to the liquor store. I'll be back in a jiffy. CUT TO: INT. ALBERT HOWELL'S OFFICE--LATE AFTERNOON HOWELL stares at the wall, throwing darts at a bulletin board. PATTY walks in, carrying a bowl of soup. PATTY I brought you some chicken soup. I made it last night. HOWELL First coffee, now soup. Patty, you are a saint. PATTY Your birthday only comes once a year. PATTY puts the bowl on his desk. PATTY Now, be careful, it's hot. HOWELL takes a sip, and yelps in agony: the soup is boiling. HOWELL FUCK!!! There is a pause. PATTY Wait 'till it cools. PATTY exits. As HOWELL waits for his soup to cool, he listens to a conversation between Officer CHAMBERS and a bunch of other GUYS down the hall. CHAMBERS It's pointless unless we do something drastic. HOWELL walks out into the hall, and continues to eavesdrop. CHAMBERS I mean drastic. Arresting everyone on the lease, putting them all on probation, and sanctioning the school. Else than that, I don't know. CLOSE UP on a concerned HOWELL. CUT TO: EXT. STREETS OF TOWSON--AN HOUR LATER MATT is driving his car, with a look of determination. He pulls into a liquor store parking lot, whistling. CUT TO: EXT. LIQOUR STORE PARKING LOT MATT gets out of his car, ready to buy some kegs. CUT TO: EXT. LIQUOR STORE PARKING LOT--A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER MATT comes out of the parking lot with FOUR EMPLOYEES wheeling four kegs behind him. MATT opens up the back of his car, and the EMPLOYEES shake their heads. MATT nods, and insists that they can fit them all in the back of his car. CUT TO: INT. STATION—A FEW MINUTES LATER The meeting of officers has adjourned, and HOWELL approaches CHAMBERS in private. HOWELL (lighting a cigarette) Billy, I was wondering if we could talk. CHAMBERS Sure we can talk. I always like to talk. HOWELL takes him in the corner. HOWELL I heard what you were saying to the other guys. CHAMBERS: Yes. HOWELL If you're planning purposely to...set the kids up...I think-- CHAMBERS It's called enforcing the law. HOWELL I know, Billy. But, I don't think slapping handcuffs on everyone-- CHAMBERS And, what do you suggest? HOWELL There's a much bigger picture here. That's all I'm saying. CHAMBERS takes HOWELL aside. CHAMBERS Al, co-worker, friend for a long time...I'm middle-aged now. I have a kid in first grade that gets kicked out of class cause he likes to eat paste and a new dog that's eaten all my furniture. I don't have time to play diplomat here. (beat) You want to tell these younger guys to be the nice. Fine, go ahead. But, in ten years, they're going end up exactly like us. A group of grumpy, old men, who don't even have the time to get a cup of coffee on Saturday night cause they're always taking shit from a bunch of rich, spoiled brats. HOWELL Billy. CHAMBERS It is what it is. BILLY I guess so. HOWELL nods, and goes into his office; it's pointless. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S ROOM JAMIE looks at the phone, wishing it would ring. She folds her clothes, and walks out into the hallway. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY JAMIE looks left and then she looks right. There are a bunch of FRESHMAN BOYS and GIRLS partying. JAMIE walks back into her room, and shuts the door. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S ROOM She lies on her bed, and closes her eyes. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN AT THE MODEST HOUSE THE CAMERA PANS four kegs of beer, lots of ice, and plenty of cups. MATT TURNER stands over the kegs and talks to the boys. MATT Okay, it came to a little over 300 bucks, but I'm not going to be stingy. So divided four ways, you each owe me about... TYLER and JUSTIN give MATT cold stares. MATT We needed beer. TYLER That's it. We're all going to jail tonight. MATT Tyler, must you always be a pessimist? JUSTIN rolls his eyes. MATT It's Saturday night, and we're all acting like we're at Church JUSTIN I don't go to Church. MATT Justin, don't patronize me. JUSTIN I'm just saying. TYLER Matt, forgive me for wanting to graduate from college at the end of the year. I know that's somehow a crime-- MATT: Structuring your life around long term goals is no way to live. I'm telling you. MATT starts to ramble. MATT Any one of us could die tonight. At any time. For example, a brick could fall out of the sky and nail me right on the head. Think about that. (beat) Dead. In a split second. I'm gone. Puff. No more. JUSTIN listens to his friend in disbelief. MATT And, God forbid. If an event of this magnitude should ever occur...at least be able to look back and say, I never passed up the chance to have a good time. CLOSE UP on JUSTIN; he walks upstairs. MATT Get it? TYLER can't really take MATT seriously. MATT Are you going to help me tap this keg? TYLER Yeah, in one sec, Matt. One sec. CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM—A MINUTE LATER JUSTIN goes into his room and stares for a second at the job applications. He decides to lay down on the floor, and stay there for a while. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S DORM ROOM JAMIE stares at the receiver, picks it up, and dials her boyfriend's number. But, while she waits for it to ring, she hangs it up, and looks at her door. JAMIE hobbles into the hallway, and stares down the hall. CUT TO: EXT. THE SKY--SUNSET THE CAMERA WATCHES as the sun sets (FAST FILM). CUT TO: A MONTAGE OF PEOPLE GETTING READY FOR THE NIGHT: 1) FRESHMEN sneaking beer past their RESIDENT ASSISTANTS in laundry baskets. 2) FRESHMEN doing shots of nasty hard liquor. 3) GUYS staring at themselves in the mirror, getting ready to go out by listening to crazy metal music/GIRLS do their hair, and try on a million different outfits. 4) Off campus, kegs are being brought into houses. Houses are being prepped, phone calls are being made, etc. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM OF MODEST HOUSE JIMMY is watching The Golden Girls, but in a more contemplative mood than usual. He's sketching a picture of the glamorous BEA ARTHUR. TYLER and MATT are on the other couch watching JIMMY, and he knows it. JIMMY I'm trying to find a trademark. TYLER and MATT are confused. JIMMY A common pattern in my work. (beat) So that with one look, the viewer could instantly recognize it as a Jimmy. (beat) The auteur theory. MATT nods. CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM—A MINUTE LATER JUSTIN is still lying on the floor, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. MATT enters, and smiles. MATT What's up there, man? JUSTIN Nothing much. Just relaxing. MATT Are you okay? JUSTIN I'm great, Matt. I'm great. MATT walks around the room, and finds a tennis ball on the floor. Then, he walks over the CD player and starts picking through CDs. MATT Did I ever give you back that Stooges CD? The one during freshman year that-- JUSTIN That was actually yours MATT It was? JUSTIN nods. MATT Than why did I keep asking if I could borrow it from you? JUSTIN doesn't know. MATT That's probably good anyway. I think I lost it. JUSTIN No, I still have it. MATT is confused by all this, but happy the CD isn't gone. MATT Thank the lord. The other day, I was sitting at home and I was so pissed cause I thought that CD was gone forever. I was dying for some Iggy Pop. MATT searches for it. MATT Where is it? Let's put it on. JUSTIN Hold on, dude. JUSTIN quickly pulls it from the pile and hands it to MATT. He pops it in and presses play. MATT (in anticipation) Sweet Jesus. MUSIC begins: a mid 70s punk epic. JUSTIN starts to smile. JUSTIN gets up. MATT returns a grin. JUSTIN plays air guitar MATT lip-synchs. Spirits are lifting, and the music's building... Suddenly, the SONG kicks in, and ELETRIC GUITAR explodes onto the scene... The BOYS are going wild, doing their best IGGY POPP impressions. CUT TO: INT. DOWNSTAIRS—A MINUTE LATER MATT returns to the TV. He is pumped up. Music is running through his veins. TYLER You found that CD? MATT keeps singing. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S DORM ROOM JAMIE is watching The Golden Girls too. JAMIE has gotten sick of feeling sad, and is starting to get anxious. When someone knocks at the door, she moans, assuming it's TERESA. JAMIE (annoyed): Come in! JAMIE hobbles over to the door, and opens it. Thankfully, it's CLAIRE. CUT TO: INT. CLAIRE'S DORM ROOM—10 MINUTES LATER JAMIE is looking at all the pictures of Claire and her family. Then she comes upon pictures of Claire's roommate, Beth. JAMIE So, this is your roommate? CLAIRE That's Beth. She's not here. She went home for the weekend. JAMIE Already. It's only September. CLAIRE Yeah, she's really homesick. JAMIE You guys get along? CLAIRE It works out pretty well. CLAIRE goes into her closet, and starts looking for something. CLAIRE Hold on. Claire pulls out a bottle of vodka. CLAIRE A cocktail before dinner? JAMIE nods. JAMIE Sounds good with me. CLAIRE I've got some orange juice. I thought we could make screwdrivers. JAMIE Drinking before we go to dinner. Wow. CLAIRE smiles. JAMIE But, we're in college. We can do this now, can't we? CLAIRE I think so. CLAIRE grins. CLAIRE I'm making mine my strong, I don't know about you. JAMIE Oh, make mine strong too. CLAIRE Will do. CUT TO: --CLAIRE and JAMIE awkwardly pour liquor into their glasses. --There's some spilling and awkward moments, but plenty of giggling. CUT TO: INT. COLLEGE DINING HALL—AN HOUR LATER JAMIE and CLAIRE are sitting by themselves in a crowded school cafeteria. JAMIE appears much more relaxed, maybe even a little drunk. JAMIE is in the middle of a story. She's making fun of Teresa. JAMIE (laughing) So, Teresa tells me to say hi to that kid Brad on the boys team. CLAIRE Cute Brad from Long Island? JAMIE He's from Long Island? CLAIRE Yeah, and I think he is hot. Like in a good way. JAMIE Well, Teresa tells me to say hi to him for her. And, the way she talked about him, I thought they were like best friends. But, when I finally went up to him and said something... (beat) He didn't even know who she was. CLAIRE No way. JAMIE I swear. The girls laugh. CLAIRE That's terrible. That's so terrible. JAMIE I know. CLAIRE and JAMIE eventually calm down. JAMIE Wow. (gathering herself) I haven't been like that in a while. CUT TO: EXT. TOWSON POLICE STATION. EARLY EVENING INT. HOWELL'S OFFICE The room is dimly lit, and the lone desk light of Howell's desk illuminates his face. He is contemplating, and hiding from thoughts of his depression. When Howell looks up, he sees Patty looking at him. HOWELL I don't understand. I spend every waking moment behind a desk, filing arrest reports and trying to talk to college deans. And, when I step out of the office, I find that things are only getting worst. (beat) It's really becoming quite the mystery. Quite the fucking mystery. PATTY Everyone's trying their best, Albert. PATTY gives him a sharp eye and quickly exits. CUT TO: INT. THE MODEST HOUSE JUSTIN is vacuuming the floor with a tiny Dirt Devil. He looks over at pictures of college; they are scattered in an old worn photo album. CLOSE UP on PICTURE of JUSTIN and HIS PARENTS on the first day of college. CLOSE UP on PICTURE of JUSTIN and FRIENDS dressed up at a HALLOWEEN PARTY. CLOSE UP on PICTURE of JUSTIN passed out on the couch, with FRIENDS taking poses with him. CLOSE UP on PICTURE of JUSTIN, MATT, JIMMY, and TYLER standing on the front porch of THE MODEST HOUSE. In the other room, TYLER and MATT are trying to mop the floor. Unfortunately, they're not exactly the best at such a chore. CUT TO: INT. DINING HALL JAMIE and CLAIRE are done with dinner, checking out GUYS. JAMIE: Guys. CLAIRE: Guys. CLAIRE takes a sip of water. CLAIRE So, how are things going with the Scott? JAMIE Good. CLAIRE You see him at all? JAMIE: No. He goes to school in New York. I haven't seen him since the summer. And with soccer and all...probably not till Thanksgiving. CLAIRE Absence makes the heart grow fonder. JAMIE gives a laugh; it hurts a little. JAMIE I get sad a lot. The other night, I was talking to a sophomore that lives on my hall, and she told me that long distance relationships at this school usually don't make it past the first semester. CLAIRE slowly sips her drink. JAMIE I've been with him for three years. CLAIRE sits up, and changes her tone. CLAIRE Well, tell me about him. JAMIE I don't know. CLAIRE Oh, come on. He's your boyfriend. And, I'm curious. JAMIE Well, he's... IMMEDIATE CUT TO: INT. SCOTT'S ROOM--OVER THE FEW PAST WEEKS SCOTT is cheating on JAMIE. He is talking to a GIRL that's not ready to give in. SCOTT Don't worry, we broke up. Then, WE SEE him GOING AT with every girl on CAMPUS on those drunk and vulnerable nights. CUT BACK TO: INT. CAFETERIA JAMIE stares down at her plate. CLAIRE He sounds like a great guy. CUT TO: INT. TOWSON POLICE STATION CHAMBERS and his COHORTS are getting ready for the evening. CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S OFFICE. HOWELL is alone in his office, throwing darts at his board. HOWELL is miserable, and unhappy, unsure if he even likes his career. When CHAMBERS passes by his office, HOWELL mindlessly grabs his jacket, and follows suit. CUT TO: INT. DOWNSTAIRS OF MODEST HOUSE TYLER, MATT, and JIMMY are setting up the kegs. MATT hands a beer to TYLER, who chugs it. TYLER I'm sorry. I'm just a little thirsty. TYLER puts it down, and continues his work. MATT See. I knew you wouldn't be mad about the party. TYLER tries to smile. MATT: I planned the whole thing about two weeks ago. It was an elaborate affair. TYLER I should've known. MATT takes a moment to reveal his next confession. MATT And, while I'm being so honest, I might as well tell you something else. You know that book of yours you lent me like last year. TYLER The Most Instructive Games of Chess, 1900-1950. The one I got my grandfather. MATT Yeah. Well, I burned a few pages of it by mistake. TYLER That's okay. MATT I was high, and I had this book of matches with me. And, I started to— TYLER Matt, please, don't say anything else. I want to remain friends with you. CUT TO: INT. MODEST HOUSE JUSTIN walks out of his room, and looks at the bucket of water his white sneakers are in. He pulls them out; they are soaked. JUMPCUT TO: INT. DOWNSTAIRS—10 MINUTES LATER JUSTIN is drying his sneakers with a blow dryer. He has a beer in his other hand. JUMPCUT TO: INT. KITCHEN OF MODEST HOUSE—10 MINUTES LATER JUSTIN comes walking downstairs with sneakers that are finally dirty. All his buddies have just finished setting up for the party. MATT looks at JUSTIN'S sneakers, which have finally gotten dirty after all the treatment. MATT Look at this guy. JUSTIN (glowing) What's up, dudes? No one could understand why JUSTIN is smiling... Then simultaneously, the BOYS all notice that his sneakers are not white anymore—they're dirty. MATT No shit! There is lots of noise, and everyone takes a moment to admire JUSTIN'S dirty sneakers. CUT TO: EXT. THE GIRLS SOCCER HOUSE--NIGHT Outside this nice off campus house, WE READ the banners hung up, "Lady Cougars Soccer," and "Soccer Is Life" INT. GIRLS SOCCER HOUSE TITLE CARD: "FRESHMAN SOCCER INIATION, 10:07 PM" A bunch of FRESHMEN SOCCER PLAYERS are lined up wearing diapers and have pacifiers in their mouths. The party is exclusive, and only the TEAM is present. LUCY is leading the initiation, shouting at the girls, and forcing them to sing songs. LUCY Alright, you rookies, I want to hear you sing. Nice and loud so we all can hear you. The freshmen start singing, as one does in the hazing process, "We are the lady cougars, pride and true, we do everything for senior captains, like you/And, no matter how hard we try, we are just dumb freshmen who can't get a guy." LUCY is waving her hands, like she's conducting an orchestra. CUT TO: EXT. SOCCER HOUSE. THAT MOMENT Outside, JAMIE (on her crutches) and CLAIRE walk into the house. JAMIE We're late. This is not good. CLAIRE Stay with me. We'll be okay. The girls step in the front door. INT. SOCCER HOUSE JAMIE and CLAIRE walk in, and the entire party goes silent. LUCY looks over and approaches the two girls. Tension fills the air. LUCY Look what we have here. Two freshmen who decided to show up late to their own initiation. LUCY walks right up to JAMIE and CLAIRE like a drill sergeant. LUCY Hmm, what should we make them do? A group of DRUNK GIRLS start chanting, "FLASH THE BOYS!" LUCY stares at JAMIE and at her crutches. LUCY So, what's your excuse? JAMIE I'm sorry. LUCY It's no big deal, right? CLAIRE (to LUCY) It's not her fault. She has a sprained ankle— LUCY Claire, you are a freshmen. And, what am I to you? CLAIRE You're the captain. LUCY Exactly. LUCY has made her decision, and addresses the crowd. LUCY You two girls missed out. It's a shame. LUCY opens up a beer, and takes a few sips; what's she going to do? LUCY (with a smile) Well, you better catch up. LUCY looks at STACEY. LUCY: Stacey, get these girls some drinks. The WHOLE PLACE starts to boo. But, they'll forget about it soon enough. LUCY leans over to JAMIE, and whispers. LUCY You're lucky I like you. CUT TO: EXT. OFF CAMPUS STREETS--EVENING Swarms of KIDS are in the streets, drinking beers, and shouting. People are walking in and out of parties. It's your typical Saturday night at Fenwick College. But, soon the headlights of a TOWSON POLICE CRUISER illuminate the street... EVERYONE disperses. MANY try to play it cool, put the beers down on the sidewalk, and act normal. OTHERS walk fast and eventually start running. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE A few streets down, A LONG LINE has gathered in front of the Modest House. CROWDS walk along the street; all JUSTIN and MATT can do is watch. JUSTIN Hey, dude, when does the liquor store close? MATT It already did. CUT TO: INT. MODEST HOUSE—10 MINUTES LATER The party is in full swing; PEOPLE try to move around, stuck in the congestion of an over crowded house. There are all types present: people that the BOYS know, STRANGERS, and lots of PRETTY GIRLS. Unfortunately, everyone has to wait in the dreaded keg line. CUT TO: INT. SOCCER HOUSE The soccer initiation is just as wild; alcohol is a catalyst that can make any crowd crazy. JAMIE is in a corner of the kitchen, and she has the words "PEG LEG" drawn on her forehead in black marker. Drunk, she picks up the phone and calls SCOTT. QUICK CUT TO SPLIT SCREEN: SCOTT (waking up) Hello? JAMIE Hey, it's me. What's going on. SCOTT Sweetie, how are you. JAMIE (laughing) I'm at the initiation, and somebody wrote on my head. SCOTT Are you drunk? JAMIE A little bit. As usual, A FEMALE HAND creeps over SCOTT'S shoulder; SCOTT slaps it away. JAMIE I miss you. SCOTT I know, I miss you too. JAMIE So, what are you up to? SCOTT Nothing much. JAMIE I was thinking about going to breakfast, and getting those waffles. And, I was wondering if we could get blueberry waffles, cause I think-- Suddenly, the GIRL in SCOTT'S bed gives a loud laugh; JAMIE hears it. GIRL Scott. Come back to bed. JAMIE Who was that? SCOTT Oh, no. My roommates got this girl and the room and he just left to take piss. JAMIE Then, why'd she say your name? SCOTT What? JAMIE Scott... JAMIE comes to an awful realization. JAMIE You couldn't even tell me, could you? SCOTT Jamie, you've definitely had too much to drink and you're going to regret this in the morning. JAMIE is in shock; she cannot speak. SCOTT: Jamie? Hey, Jamie, come on. JAMIE I hope you have a good night. JAMIE hangs up the phone; she walks out of the room almost as in a trance. CUT TO: EXT. A DESOLATE STREET OFF CAMPUS—15 MINUTES LATER The dead silence of an empty street, that is littered with cigarette butts and beer cups; JAMIE HALLOWAY sits on the ground, with her crutches at her side. She is crying, her head buried in her lap. CUT TO: INT. PARTY AT THE MODEST HOUSE INT. KITCHEN MATT and JIMMY are bringing in another keg, struggling to get through the crowd. MATT (to the CROWD) Excuse me, beer coming through. MATT (to JIMMY): This is our last one. JIMMY: Thank God we have still have that bottle of gin. But, when JIMMY and MATT look over, they see TWO KIDS taking shots from their bottle. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM TYLER and JUSTIN are watching the party. They notice a DUDE flirting with a CHIC; he's doing well for himself. JUSTIN And, she's eating up everything he says. She's even playing with her hair. TYLER With her hair? JUSTIN You know that thing they do...when they play with their hair. TYLER Oh, yeah. TYLER and JUSTIN continue to watch a couple in the making. TYLER He's probably telling her about how he tore a muscle at the gym. JUSTIN It doesn't matter what you say. Knowing how to flirt is a great asset when it comes to meeting girls. It's all part of the ritual. TYLER Hey...over there. The BOYS direct their attention to a HOPELESS GUY trying to woo an UNWILLING GIRL. JUSTIN She can sense his desperation from a mile away. The UNWILLING GIRL starts folding her arms, trying to get out of the conversation. JUSTIN She folded her arms. That's it, he's done. TYLER Poor bastard. JUSTIN looks at his cup, and notices it's empty; time to get a beer... As JUSTIN is walking to the keg, A HIPPIE CHIC bumps into JUSTIN, spilling her drink on him. HIPPIE CHIC I'm sorry. JUSTIN (wiping himself off) Oh, don't worry. These things happen all the time. The CHIC gives JUSTIN an inviting smile. JUSTIN smiles back; but he's also an idiot, and doesn't know how to react. She says something to him, but he can't hear her with the all the noise. JUSTIN (moving closer) Excuse me? HIPPIE CHIC (louder) I dig your style. JUSTIN (not knowing what to say) Why...thank you. JUSTIN stands there, and gets cold feet. JUSTIN Well, I'll see you later. HIPPIE CHIC Bye. JUSTIN goes to fill his beer. He turns around and sees the HIPPIE CHIC looking at him. JUSTIN stops, goes to talk to her; but, when he turns around, she is gone. CUT TO: TITLE CARD: "MIDNIGHT" --EXT. BURGER KING PARKING LOT In an empty Burger King parking lot, ALBERT HOWELL'S CRUISER remains parked. INT. HOWELL'S CRUISER HOWELL eats his food alone, with a sad, lonely look on his face. He can barely chews his fries. FASTCUT TO: --EXT. AN EMPTY STREET JAMIE HALLOWAY looks at her crutches lying on the ground, and decides to get up and walk home. It takes every once of strength she has. FASTCUT TO: --INT. PARTY AT MODEST HOUSE While everyone is drunk and chatting, JUSTIN walks around looking for someone to talk to. FASTCUT TO: --EXT. STREETS OF TOWSON The first raid of POLICE OFFICERS enter a random party and begin arresting KIDS. SOME are too drunk to be worried...OTHERS have empty expressions of fear on their faces. FASTCUT TO: --INT. HOWELL'S CAR HOWELL'S radio starts blaring, requesting backup at the college. He lights a cigarette, and starts his engine. FASTCUT TO: --EXT. LONELY STREET JAMIE hobbles courageously down the street on her crutches. FASTCUT TO: --INT. JUSTIN'S BEDROOM JUSTIN goes into his room, and picks up his guitar. FASTCUT TO: --EXT. PARTIES The paddy wagon has arrived, and HORDS OF KIDS are getting put in the back. Police lights illuminate the night sky. CUT TO: INT. ALBERT HOWELL'S CRUISTER HOWELL arrives in the midst of the mayhem off campus. A huge crowd of DRUNKS are in front of his car, shouting obscenities at him. HOWELL slowly proceeds through the streets... Suddenly, a can of beer comes flying at his windshield... HOWELL jumps about twenty feet in the air. EXT. OUTSIDE THE CRUISER Reacting quickly, he gets out of his car, looking for the perpetrators... HOWELL sees a bunch of HOODLUMS running up the street. The officer gets back in his car. INT. CRUISER HOWELL turns on his sirens and follows the kids. CUT TO: EXT. DESOLATE STREET JAMIE is hobbling towards campus when she hears the wailing sirens of a police cruiser getting closer and closer. She sees the kids flying by her, yelling frantically. Then, she sees HOWELL'S car coming towards her. JAMIE Oh, God! CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S CRUISER HOWELL can barely see even with his headlights and spotlight. The officer sees the outline of a girl jump off the road and into a yard. CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE HOWELL'S CRUISER JAMIE hobbles away on her crutches, trying to get away from this police cruiser that almost hit her. HOWELL cannot find her, and gets back into his car. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE Outside the Modest House, the police have their hands full with the KIDS in the street. But, they have yet to go inside. When MATT TURNER sees them, he comes flying out into the house. CUT TO: INT. MODEST HOUSE At the same time, TERESA and COMPANY arrive. MATT flies to the CD player and turns down the music. TERESA sees MATT and instantly falls in love with him. MATT Hey, everybody, I hate to be bearer of bad news. But, the police are outside, and they've got the paddy wagon. All MATT needed to say was those two fateful words: Paddy Wagon. Immediately, the party empties out; TERESA'S friends have to drag her away. TYLER and JIMMY help kids get their coats, belongings, etc. CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S BEDROOM JUSTIN sees the flashing lights outside. He puts down his guitar, and rejoins the party. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE Outside, KIDS are moving in mobs back towards campus; a few UNLUCKY ONES are in handcuffs. As these HORDS head in their various different directions, a frantic JAMIE comes hobbling into the front yard. She sees the lights of THE MODEST HOUSE, and goes inside for shelter. CUT TO: INT. MODEST HOUSE JAMIE walks in, completely out of breath, and looking like she's been in the trenches of World War II. The music has been turned down, and everyone is quiet; even the SENIORS are nervous. TYLER is putting up blankets over the windows, while MATT is hiding the kegs. TYLER sees JAMIE out of the corner of his eye. TYLER Could you help me with this blanket? JAMIE helps TYLER with the blanket, and then walks into the kitchen. TYLER Thank you. I appreciate it. TYLER doesn't even notice the writing on her head. INT. KITCHEN JAMIE walks through the kitchen, as SENIORS are drinking beers. She walks into JUSTIN'S room. CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S CRUISER HOWELL slowly drives his car toward a sea of paddy wagons and lights. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM OF THE MODEST HOUSE The boys are looking out the front door at the sea of cop cars. MATT is nailing sheets over the windows. TYLER Matt, those are my sheets! MATT I'll get you some new ones. MATT has successfully blocked every window. MATT I think we're okay. TYLER gives MATT dirty look: "I told you so." MATT Don't even say it. Don't even. JUSTIN looks around at the commotion. He decides to go back into this room. INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM JUSTIN enters his room. JAMIE is standing by the window. JUSTIN'S face freezes... Standing in front of him is the girl of his dreams... But she's covered in dirt, on crutches, and has the words "PEG LEG" tattooed on her forehead. JUSTIN Hi. JAMIE I'm sorry. Is this your room? I didn't know. I just came in cause of all the crazy-- JUSTIN (concerned) Are you okay? JAMIE'S eyes cannot hide her emotions, and she takes a good while before she answers the question. JAMIE I'm actually hurting more inside. CUT TO: INT. POLICE STATION A group of STUDENTS walk into the station, and are put into their cells. TITLE CARD: "24 ARRESTS" Cramped together, they think about what their parents will say; to any kid this age, it's the end of the world. CUT TO: EXT. STREETS OF TOWSON—3 AM The night is over... The STRAGGLERS are wandering home, babbling about nothing, and heading for their dorms. Only a few cop cruisers remain in the area. EXT. MODEST HOUSE RANDY and CHAMBERS are looking at the Modest House, which has suffered a mass amount of destruction within the course of the tumultuous evening. CHAMBERS This is our last stop. RANDY (peering in at blank windows) I don't think anyone lives here. CHAMBERS Randy, they've pulled down their shades so we can't see them. RANDY Right. CHAMBERS starts to head up the lawn, when ALBERT HOWELL appears. CHAMBERS Deputy Howell. HOWELL Hey, Billy...I got this one. Go home. CHAMBERS Are you sure? HOWELL Don't worry about it. HOWELL looks at an exhausted RANDY. HOWELL (to CHAMBERS) And, bring him home too. (to RANDY) You're tired, aren't you, Randy? RANDY Yeah. CHAMBERS and RANDY get into the car, and CHAMBERS looks at HOWELL. CHAMBERS Listen, Al, about what I said today. HOWELL I know. CHAMBERS looks at the streets around him. CHAMBERS It's hard to be on the outside looking in. HOWELL Tell me about it. CHAMBERS gets in the cruiser and takes off... HOWELL remains the lone man in front of THE MODEST HOUSE; he wants a cigarette, but his pack is empty. CUT TO: INT. MODEST HOUSE TYLER, JIMMY, and MATT are shooting the breeze, finishing up the keg. Just then, CLAIRE and a bunch of PEOPLE come in; MATT greets them. MATT (being a good host) How you doing, everybody? There's skunked beer in the fridge. Help yourselves. The KIDS nod their heads, and go into the kitchen. JAMIE'S friend, however, doesn't join him. CLAIRE I'm sorry to bother you. But, have you seen a girl on crutches here? MATT Like with a cast? CLAIRE She has writing on her forehead. It says Peg Leg. The boys look at each other, puzzled. JIMMY Guys, she's trying to be funny. MATT Nope. She'd be pretty hard to miss. Then, MATT gazes at JUSTIN'S room. MATT (to CLAIRE) Wait. He gets up and walks into the kitchen. TYLER can't keep his eyes off CLAIRE. TYLER By the way, I'm Tyler. CLAIRE Nice to meet you, I'm Claire. JIMMY Claire, I'm Jimmy, and I hope you find this person you're looking for. MATT returns with an astonished look on his face. MATT Actually, I think she is here. You friend. CLAIRE glows. MATT In my friend's room. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE HOWELL listens to the laughing in the house; he's looking into his own past. HOWELL lazily picks up the trash off the front yard, and casually throws it in a trash barrel. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S DORM ROOM The phone in JAMIE'S room rings; SCOTT leaves another message on the answering machine. SCOTT (on the machine): Jamie, please pick up.... CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM JAMIE sits in the corner of the room; JUSTIN looks at the writing on her forehead. JUSTIN I'll be right back. JAMIE looks around at the pictures on JUSTIN'S wall. A few moments later, JUSTIN returns with a wet face cloth. JUSTIN Hold still. JUSTIN wipes the marker off JAMIE'S forehead. JUSTIN There you go. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM OF MODEST HOUSE CLAIRE has joined the party in the LIVING ROOM; she's talking to TYLER. MATT finishes his drink, and goes outside for a cigarette. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE MATT lights his cigarette, and walks into the front yard, which is littered with beer cans. Suddenly, he sees OFFICER ALBERT HOWELL standing there. MATT Officer, I'm sorry. I'll clear everyone out immediately. HOWELL remains silent. MATT I didn't know we were making any noise. I really didn't. HOWELL You're not. Just take those beer cans inside. So the neighbors won't complain. MATT Of course. MATT lights his cigarette, and looks at HOWELL. MATT You want a cigarette? HOWELL Sure. MATT lights awkwardly lights HOWELL'S cigarette for him. HOWELL takes a drag, and walks towards his cruiser. HOWELL Have a good night. MATT You too, officer. CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S CRUISER HOWELL drives away from the college, looking content for the first time in a while; he enjoys his cigarette. CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM As JUSTIN is finished wiping the marker off JAMIE'S face, tears being to form around her eyes. JUSTIN What's wrong? JAMIE tries to keep them in; JUSTIN can't take his eyes off her face. JAMIE finally gives in. JAMIE My boyfriend cheated on me. The two of them hug, while she continues to sob. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE MATT is putting beer cans into a plastic bag, and bringing them inside. CUT TO: INT. MODEST HOUSE TYLER and CLAIRE are chatting; JIMMY, suddenly gets up. TYLER Jimmy, where are you going? JIMMY heads to his room; TYLER returns his attention to CLAIRE. TYLER (commenting on JIMMY) Okay. A BEAT. TYLER I'm sorry. What were we talking about? CLAIRE Chess. TYLER Oh, yeah. Chess. It's an incredible game. Much like a soccer, but perhaps a bit more intense. CLAIRE (finishing her beer) Really? TYLER It's also extremely addictive. CLAIRE Well, then how about we play? TYLER No, I don't want to get you involved. I've seen enough people go down... CLAIRE (laughing) Come on, Bobby Fischer, let's go. Get out the board. TYLER If you insist. CUT TO: INT. JIMMY'S ROOM JIMMY walks into his room, cracks a beer, and then walks over to an easel, which is covered with canvas. JIMMY takes out paint and paintbrushes. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE MATT is done cleaning the yard. He sits on a chair on the porch and gazes up at the dawn sky. The town is perfectly silent. CUT TO: INT. HOWELL'S CRUISER HOWELL is on his way home, when he sees WILSON'S DINER. In the mood for some food, he pulls his car into the parking lot. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM OF MODEST HOUSE TYLER and CLAIRE are engaged in a tension-filled chess match. Their eyes are glued to the board, and TYLER'S eyes blaze with competition. CLOSE UP on the pieces and the board. CLAIRE contemplates her next move, and glances up at TYLER. Suddenly, she gets up and passionately kisses him. The two of them go at it, as pieces of the chessboard fall to the floor. CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM—1 HOUR LATER JUSTIN is looking at JAMIE who is passed out in his bed. Gingerly, JUSTIN gets up, and leaves the room. INT. KITCHEN JUSTIN walks through the kitchen, which is littered with beer cups. INT. LIVING ROOM In the living room, TYLER and CLAIRE are passed out, with arms around each other. JUSTIN smiles and walks outside. EXT. PORCH It is dawn, and the sun is about to rise; the sky is a shade of many different colors. JUSTIN finds MATT in the same position. JUSTIN Hey. MATT What's up, man? MATT is looking at the sky. MATT How's Jamie? JUSTIN I wish, dude. I wish. MATT Really? JUSTIN Not going to happen. (beat) It's probably better anyway. MATT Yeah. MATT taps JUSTIN on the shoulder. MATT: Check it out: sunrise. JUSTIN watches the sunrise. MATT lights a cigarette, and can't help but laugh. MATT: So how was your night? JUSTIN: Pretty tight. MATT: Good for you. I'm glad you had fun. JUSTIN stops for a second. JUSTIN: Hey, Matt. JUSTIN sits down on a chair. JUSTIN Thanks. MATT (confused) You're welcome. JUSTIN Cause when we graduate, we're never going to be able to get this back. MATT We got a few more months. JUSTIN I know but... MATT We'll worry about that shit later. The two boys take a moment, and look at the sky—the sun has started to rise. Just then, JAMIE appears on the porch; MATT notices her first. MATT (to JUSTIN) I think someone needs to talk to you. JUSTIN turns around and sees JAMIE. JUSTIN You're awake. JAMIE smiles. JUSTIN I'll walk you home. JUSTIN gets up, smiles at MATT, and walks JAMIE at home. CUT TO: INT. WILSON'S DINER HOWELL whistles, while approaching the counter, and is the first person to sit down. HOWELL (to the GIRL) Good morning. GIRL What can I get for you? HOWELL: One large French Vanilla, please. HOWELL reads the paper, and drinks his coffee, as the LOCALS come in. ERNIE (70), an old guy moseys in for breakfast. ERNIE Morning, Al. HOWELL Good morning, Ernie. How are you? ERNIE Not too bad. ERNIE orders his breakfast. ERNIE So, how was last night? Those kids give you hell in a hand bag? HOWELL Close to it. ERNIE Jesus Christ. (beat) You're a good man, Al. Dealing with that bullshit. I think your half the reason this town is as sane as it is. HOWELL takes a sip of his coffee, and smiles. ERNIE Did you see the game yesterday? HOWELL No. ERNIE Miami, 46-23. They're going to beat FSU next week. I know it. HOWELL What about the Fenwick game? ERNIE Ah, I think that was. Colby won by nine. HOWELL No fucking shit. HOWELL laughs. CUT TO: EXT. JAMIE'S DORM It's now morning. Birds are chirping, the ground is covered with dew. JUSTIN and JAMIE are approaching JAMIE'S dorm. JUSTIN You know I met you before last night. JAMIE looks up. JUSTIN I bumped into you once and knocked all the books out of your hand. It was over by McNeal. JAMIE Oh. JUSTIN Yeah. JUSTIN sighs; that wasn't a very good approach. JUSTIN I figured out what I'm going to do with my life. I figured it out last night. JAMIE That's good. JUSTIN First, I'm going down to the barber and I'm going to let him neaten up my hair, making it very clear to him that I do not want a mullet. Then, I'm going to go to a job interview, and get a job for next year. I'll in work in the state of Delaware, although I don't really want to live there. Because it will give me the opportunity to live cheaply and save up lots of money. And, by the time the ensuing twelve months have passed, my hair will have finally grown back, and I'll have the money do whatever I want. It will be the first time in my life that I will be truly independent, and in control of my own destiny. JUSTIN pauses. JUSTIN That's when I'm going to do something cool. JAMIE laughs. JUSTIN I can't wait. JUSTIN suddenly becomes a bit sad. He looks around the campus; it has been his home for a very long time. They reach the door. JUSTIN I guess this is it. JUSTIN smiles at JAMIE, and looks back towards the street. JUSTIN Well, Jamie... JAMIE I'm sure I'll see you around. JUSTIN fakes a smile. JAMIE See you later. JUSTIN turns to leave. JAMIE Hey, Justin. JUSTIN Yes. JAMIE You're a very sweet guy. JAMIE goes inside. JUSTIN waves; he is a bit puzzled. He looks down at his dirty sneakers, and starts to walk home. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S DORM ROOM JAMIE walks into her room, and finds TERESA passed out in her full clothes. Looking over at the answering machine, JAMIE has ten messages... She erases all of them. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM TYLER is saying goodbye to CLAIRE. They look at the scattered remnants of the chess board. CLAIRE We'll have to play again soon. She gives him a kiss on the lips. CLAIRE Bye. TYLER (blushing) Bye. CLAIRE Call me. CLAIRE walks out the door happily. CUT TO: INT. LIVING ROOM MATT lights a cigarette, and walks downstairs to congratulate TYLER. JIMMY and JUSTIN come popping in the door. MATT Gentlemen, good morning. TYLER What a night. MATT returns TYLER'S "I told you so" look. TYLER Don't even say it. In the commotion, JUSTIN is singing. The room is starting to blossom with banter. MATT Alright, who wants some eggs? INT. KITCHEN MATT walks into the kitchen, and starts cracking eggs. TYLER (reminding MATT) No bacon, please. JIMMY starts brewing the coffee, and JUSTIN throws bread into the toaster. CUT TO: INT. WILSON'S BREAKFAST JOINT HOWELL is at the counter, paying his check. Then he remembers. HOWELL Could I also get a cup of tea to go? CUT TO: INT. TOWSON POLICE STATION HOWELL comes walking, having stayed up all night. He's exhausted and finds PATTY. HOWELL Hi, Patty. PATTY looks up from organizing her desk. PATTY: I didn't think you were coming in today. HOWELL I'm not. PATTY looks confused. HOWELL (showing her a cup of tea) Look what I've got. PATTY You've finally taken my advice. HOWELL hands the tea to PATTY. HOWELL Oh God, this isn't for me. This stuff wouldn't even keep my eyes open. (beat) I bought it for you. PATTY For me? PATTY is flattered and takes the tea. HOWELL looks over at the huge plethora of COLLEGE KIDS bailing their friends out, dealing with BILLY CHAMBERS. HOWELL Looks like Chambers has got his hands full. PATTY The phones have been ringing off the hook. Marty Patterson called from Fenwick. He wants to schedule a meeting. HOWELL It's about time. HOWELL smirks and looks at CHAMBERS with pity. HOWELL I should help him out. PATTY Go home. You've been up all night. HOWELL Don't worry, I'll be out of here by noon. Those two cups of coffee will hold me over. PATTY It seems like things might finally be going your way. HOWELL Yeah, right. PATTY I don't think you've ever worked a day in your life, Albert Howell. HOWELL gives PATTY a big, bright smile, and walks towards the cells. CUT TO: EXT. KITCHEN JUSTIN and MATT are sipping on cups of coffee, greeting another Sunday morning. MATT is putting his last touches on the eggs. He hands a plate to JUSTIN, and they walk through the house. MATT Brandy called. JUSTIN You talked to her? MATT Yes. JUSTIN Did you straighten things out? MATT I have to send her twenty bucks in the mail. JUSTIN For what? MATT I didn't even ask. If that's the price I have to pay to get her off my case, then so be it. JUSTIN stands up, and looks at the surrounding street on another nice day. JUSTIN I'm glad our house is still standing. MATT We had quite the hoopla, didn't we? JUSTIN I'd say so. MATT Wait till I get my hands on some grain alcohol. Freshman girls will be defenseless. JUSTIN Matt! MATT I'm fucking kidding. Relax. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN TYLER is eating a bowl of cereal, talking to JIMMY. TYLER: So, Jimmy, what happened to you last night? JIMMY smirks; MATT and JUSTIN walk into the kitchen. JUSTIN Is anyone going to the library today? TYLER Yeah, to take a nap. JUSTIN Cause I got to return this book. I keep forgetting about it. MATT Was that the one on Catholicism for your religion class? JUSTIN Yes, it was. MATT The one that was lying on the couch a few days ago. JUSTIN Why? MATT takes money out of his pocket and hands it to JUSTIN. MATT I don't think that book could have cost anymore than forty dollars. Judging by how flammable it was. JUSTIN takes the money, and doesn't ask questions. CUT TO: INT. JUSTIN'S ROOM—AN HOUR LATER JUSTIN smiles and puts on the Supremes record he's been staring at for a while. Then, he gets up, looks into the mirror, and starts making funny faces. He can't help but laugh. CUT TO: EXT. POLICE STATION HOWELL gets into his cruiser, and goes home for a much needed rest. But, on the way home, he sees a sign that reads "DISCOUNT TELVISIONS" He pulls into the store. CUT TO: EXT. MODEST HOUSE--AFTERNOON TITLE CARD: "NAP TIME" The boys are exhausted. It is time for naps. MATT is lying down on the couch, finishing a cigarette. TYLER is lying on his back, hands folded in his lap, and in the usual position. JUSTIN is staring at the ceiling. CUT TO: INT. JAMIE'S DORM ROOM JAMIE is lying on her bed, looking out her dorm window and at the surrounding campus. She lies on her bed, and watches as TERESA runs down the hall to barf up the previous night's alcohol. CUT TO: INT. ALBERT HOWELL'S HOUSE HOWELL is sitting in his easy chair, passed out in front of his new TV. CUT TO: EXT. YARD OF MODEST HOUSE JIMMY appears, carrying a canvas paper, still covered in sheets. JIMMY Hey guys. JIMMY goes up the stairs. JIMMY Guys. JIMMY carries it into the house, but everyone is asleep. He smirks to himself. Nevertheless, he unveils the surprise. It's a portrait of JUSTIN, MATT, JIMMY, and TYLER, with big letters, which reads, "THE MODEST HOUSE" JIMMY smiles, and puts it on the mantle. It awkwardly balances in front of a few posters. He looks at it, and then heads upstairs. The door shuts. THE END.

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