This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. 
This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express 
written permission of the author.

INT. TRAX MUSIC STORE-DAY

We open to a darkened record store; a moment later the doorbells ring and the 
lights come on. A few shots around the store showing posters of musicians, vinyl 
records, cds, tapes, etc. Cut to shot of a counter, DAVE walks into frame 
setting a bag, cassettes, and a bagel on the counter. He shuffles through the 
stack of cassettes and picks one out.

DAVE
Guys, help me get through another Monday morning shift.

He fiddles with a cassette player and DURAN DURAN'S "HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF" 
plays. DAVE is then seen in various shots dancing around, fixing things, and 
preparing the store for the day. The doorbell rings again, BEN walks into the 
store.

BEN
Good morning dancing queen.

DAVE
Morning Benjamin.

BEN
You're awfully chipper this Monday morning, you get laid?

DAVE
Sadly no, I was up all night stuck online playing an AC campaign I owed Nate and 
Dom.

BEN
God, I wonder if those two will ever see the outdoors, or a girl, this a new 
mix.

DAVE
Yeah I went a little crazy this weekend and made a bunch of them. Here, this 
one's for you.

DAVE throws BEN the tape; he catches it and reads the label.

BEN
Use for getting laid, yeah, and you would know.

DAVE
Trust me, read what's on it.

BEN
(reading)
OMD, Seal? , Barry White, this is blasphemy!
How are you going to have a mix like this and not put Peter Gabriel's In your 
eyes on it.

DAVE
We've discussed this five million times, that song is so over used, I mean it's 
good and all, I'm just saying you can do better.

BEN
And no Otis? I thought you liked Music.

    DAVE
Twenty bucks if it works?

BEN
You're on!

They shake hands, the doorbell rings again. BRI walks in; she is wearing a 
cheese stained CK's pretzels shirt.

DAVE
Hello goddess of pretzels.

BRI
Tell me, do you like your balls where they are now?

DAVE
Just trying to brighten the day, we're all in the Monday morning slum together.

BEN
Bri, what are your plans for tonight?

BRI
Waiting for that asshole Walter to call me.

BEN
Well if you want to do that fine, but there's a John Hughes double feature 
tonight over at the plaza.

BRI
Forget the phone call, take me home to get a shower and I'm game.

BEN
Oh can I watch!

BRI
Ben, you know what my answer is to that.

BEN
Fair enough, Dave you in? 

DAVE
Sorry guys, I have something planned for tonight.

BEN
You and your dream girl?

DAVE nods.

BRI
Aw, you two are so cute, what are you guys planning.

DAVE
Passionate, tantric sex.

BEN hands DAVE the getting laid mix.

BEN
You need this?

DAVE
No, we're just going to hang out probably.

BRI
Why don't you do something sweet and romantic for her once and a while.

DAVE
Oh I have.

He takes a cassette off the counter.

BRI
A tape?

DAVE
A mix tape!

BRI
You do that for every girl!

DAVE
This one's different.

BEN
How?

DAVE
It's all songs inspired by our meeting, first date, and all our experiences we 
had.

BRI
Okay I'll give you that, you're guy's story was pretty wacky.

BEN
Well let's hear it.

DAVE
Okay, but no bitching about lack of Peter Gabriel.

They all huddle around the counter, DAVE is fiddling with the tape deck again. 
Cut to close up shot of tape in the tape deck. As it starts the screen starts to 
have a warping effect as if being sent back in time.

INT. MALL-NIGHT-TWO MONTHS AGO

We see a montage of different shots with characters in their working 
environment, DAVE filing through records, BEN arguing with a customer, BRI 
trying to make a slushy but only succeeding in splattering herself. Cut to 
entrance of the mall, JON walks in, he casually walks towards Trax turning his 
head to check out a girls ass now and then.

INT. TRAX

DAVE is ringing up a customer as JON walks into frame.

JON
Excuse me, I'm looking for the new Kenny G.

DAVE
Hey!


JON
How's it going Dave?

DAVE
Can't complain much, what've you been up to?

JON
School, work, banging...

DAVE
The usual?

JON
Pretty much, you up for a party tonight?

DAVE
Yeah sure, we close in about an hour and a half.

JON
I'll get Ben and Bri to come too, speaking of, where is my brother?

DAVE
Back they're ripping that guy a new one.

Cut to BEN verbally abusing a customer over their choice of music.

BEN
P. diddy, Redman, Ghost face killer what are you doing son?

G FRESH
Hey this shit is off the shcizille my nizzle.

BEN
Okay first off, I am not your nizzle, and what the hell is schizille, never mind 
I don't want to know Listen to me, you are white! Your parents are the heads of 
the PTA, you've had the highest grade point average for all four years of high 
school, and your real name is Glenn.

G FRESH looks as if he's about to come back at BEN with an insult, but instead 
breaks down crying. BEN puts his arm around him.

BEN
It's okay, it's okay, it's hard for all of us to take.

Cut back to JON and DAVE at counter looking bewildered.

JON
Hey little bro!

BEN
Hey Jon.

JON
Wanna go out tonight?

Cut back to BEN



BEN
Sure why not, but first I must show this lost soul the ways of the world.

He starts to walk with G FRESH still consoling him.

G FRESH
I'm white!

BEN
There there, enough.

G FRESH
I've never seen a naked girl.

BEN
It'll happen.

G FRESH
I have a three-inch penis!

BEN
Well I know how that is, actually, no I don't. Now can you say Barry White?

Cut back to JON and DAVE.

JON
Well anyways, I will see you tonight, I'm going to go have a pretzel with a side 
of Bri.

DAVE
Later man.

JON leaves, the phone rings, DAVE answers.

DAVE
Trax, Dave speaking.

DOM(OP)
Mystic...

DAVE
Dom...

INT. DOM'S ROOM

We see a dark faintly lit room with pizza boxes, pop cans, and various PC games 
strewn about. We slowly pan up to DOM on his computer as he's talking to DAVE on 
the phone, we cut back and forth to Trax and DOM'S room as they talk.

DOM
Mysticscholar02, Tunak and me need your help defeating a pack of level 95 earth 
golems.

DAVE
Sorry Dom, I can't help you and Nate tonight, I'm going to a party with Jon.


DOM
Mystic! it has been not once but thrice you abandoned your quest for Asheron's 
power!

DAVE
Tomorrow night then.

DOM
But tomorrow Tunak and me must wait in line for the new expansion set.

DAVE
Come on, just come to the party with us.

DOM
I will not attend this social gathering of drunken peasants acting like complete 
animals.

DAVE
Dom, live a little, go out in the world and have fun, meet a girl, do something.

DOM
Mystic, I am going to ignore the fact that you are forgetting your roots, and 
write it off as a curse cast on you by a level 90 Warlock. When you have found 
the proper healing spell contact me in my dwelling.

They hang up.

INT. DOM'S ROOM

DOM
Mystic when you will find the right path again.

The camera pulls back, we see NATE on another computer right next to DOM.

NATE
Check out that chick mage Dom, she's got a rack on her.

DOM
Tunak, you will refer to me as captain power!

NATE
Oh, sorry Dom.

DOM
And do not be distracted by the sins of the flesh, for they lead to nothing but 
trouble.

He holds up a picture and looks at it longingly, we do not see who the picture 
is of though.

DATELESS LOSERS

NATE AND DOM
  we are all on our own
  with no one by our side
  we are so lucky
  level 80 Sorcerers

Cut back to Trax, BEN is piling records and other things on G FRESH as he 
struggles to keep up.


BEN
all the cool kids go steady
they're making out as well
we sit in our rooms
alone by ourselves

Cut to DAVE at the counter.

DAVE
it's Friday
no phone call
nobody asked us out
     
Wide shot of store, DAVE, BEN, and G FRESH are grouped together at the counter.

DAVE, BEN, and G FRESH
we are the dateless losers
lonely until we die
so unappreciated
why oh why why why

Cut to JON trying his hardest to get a girl.

JON
we're not so bad you know
but you wont give us a chance
take us to the movies
to dinner or to dance

Cut to BRI at pretzel booth staring at WALTER at the register flirting with a 
slutty looking cashier named DEDRA.

BRI
not perfect
not too hip
but we need lovin too

Cut to whole CHORUS in the food court passing out free samples, cleaning, 
emptying trash. DAVE, BEN, JON, BRI, and G FRESH join.

CHORUS
we are the dateless losers
lonely until we die
so unappreciated
why oh why why why 

A dance montage, then cut back to NATE AND DOM on their PC's rockin out.

NATE
you don't want us!

DOM
you don't need us!

NATE AND DOM
you don't love us!

Cut back to food court, now ensues the big dance number.


CHORUS
we are the dateless losers
lonely until we die
so unappreciated
why oh why why why

When song ends CHORUS poses with DAVE, BEN, JON, BRI, and G FRESH in the middle.

INT. BACK AT TRAX-AN HOUR LATER

DAVE is running register tape and BEN is reading a magazine, BRI walks into 
frame looking frustrated.

DAVE
Problem?

BRI
That whore Dedra.

DAVE AND BEN
Walter...

BRI
What does he see in her, she has a bitch attitude, the mental capacity of a 
house plant, and absolutely zero personality!

DAVE
Sweetie, you have got to give this up.

BRI
David, you don't understand, we had something good last summer.

BEN
Yeah it did seem like a fun ride for you and all.

DAVE
And he did get us into the drive in free when he worked the projection booth. 
But you have to let it go, if you keep this up you'll end up a pathetic wreck of 
a person.

BRI
Like you after Mandi, I remember telling you the same exact thing, but do you 
listen. No! Oh Bri she's so great..blah blah blah....guess what she ripped my 
heart out and ate it, just like you said she would.

DAVE
I know, that's why I'm warning you now, so you won't end up like I did.

BRI
You're still that way.


DAVE
Am not!

BEN
She's right dude.

BRI
If she walked into this store right now, and asked if she could continue to suck 
more life out of you, you would be back with her in heartbeat.

DAVE
I'm telling you, she's completely behind me.

BEN
(to BRI)
But I'm willing to bet he still has her senior pic in his wallet.

BEN and BRI coax DAVE to take his wallet out, he does and flips it open.

BRI
Uh huh.

DAVE
So what, I never empty this wallet anyways, guys I've wiped her clean from my 
memory...

BEN
Maybe he has Bri, it was him who broke up with her.

BRI
And ruined her consecutive record of guys she's totally destroyed.

He jumps over the counter, cut to shot of him walking backward with his back to 
the entrance.

DAVE
That's right, and even if she walked in this store right now...

MANDI appears behind him in the doorway, cut to BEN and BRI looking as if they 
were anticipating a train wreck, cut back to DAVE.

DAVE
I would look her straight in her eyes and say...

He turns around and stops in complete shock.

DAVE
Welcome to Trax, how may I help you!

MANDI
Hello David.

DAVE
Hi Mandi.

MANDI
Practicing telling me off again?


DAVE
Actually I was running lines from a play I'm in.

Cut to BRI and BEN.

BRI
The Whore in the little record store.

Cut back to DAVE and MANDI, MANDI shoots her a sarcastic smile. MANDI stalks 
around the store as DAVE stands defenseless against her.

MANDI
Anyways, I was just going to meet my boyfriend, and I happened to see you were 
working here now. It's a fitting environment for you, outdated, dreary...

looks down at his pants

MANDI
Small...but at least you found an outlet for your talents and expertise, if you 
want to call it that.

DAVE
Well um, thanks for that, now I have to close, so if you would be so kind.

MANDI
Yes, I would love to stay but unfortunately Stewart is waiting for me.

Cut to shot of her walking out towards the doorway, she stops and turns around.

MANDI
Goodbye middle class surfs.

she struts out, cut back to counter, DAVE enters frame.

BEN
Good job on telling her how it is.

EXT. OUTSIDE MALL ENTRANCE

A group of four guys are huddled around STEWART the boyfriend encouraging him to 
break up with MANDI.

ETHAN
Dude, the chick owns your balls man.

SHANE
Yeah, telling you what to do and what not to do, man we haven't gotten lit and 
watched scooby doo in like a month!

THOMAS
It's either us or her dude!

STEWERT
You guys are my bro's and all, but she's great in bed.


ETHAN
I know a couple virgin twins dude!

STEWART
They'll be at the party?

MANDI exits the mall and walks towards they're huddle.

MANDI
Oh Stewart.

He quickly turns around


STEWART
Oh...hi Mandi.

MANDI
My Stewart little, did you miss me for those ten painful minutes I was gone.

STEWART
Listen Mandi, we need to talk, I...

MANDI
(cutting him off)
You're breaking up with me!

STEWART
I didn't say anything.

MANDI
You said we need to talk!

STEWART
I just wanted to say...

MANDI
You don't have to say anymore, just leave.

She dramatically turns and walks away. 

STEWART
Um, ok.

STEWART and his boys leave, MANDI turns around and is surprised and angered to 
see them walking away.

MANDI
Wait! aren't you even going to fight to let me still be your girlfriend? You 
just remember who broke up with who here!

She angrily flails her arms in the air.

MANDI
What am I going to do? I'm the most popular person in the tri state area, and I 
don't even have a boyfriend. What pathetic sap can I suck dry this time? 

She thinks to herself.

There's Cory, no way too strange for me, Chad? no way too much into feet, what 
about Jerry, wait he's a cross dresser, I forgot.
What I need is a love starved loser who would do anything to be with a bombshell 
like me, and take away his dignity, manhood, and pretty much his life. 

She gets an idea.

MANDI
Well, I never resorted to past ex boyfriends before, but this is the perfect 
chance to keep my reputation, and take care of some unfinished business.



INT. OUTSIDE OF TRAX IN THE MALL

DAVE is closing up the store, as he walks away he passes a Tofu stand. FREE 
SAMPLE BARRY stands in front passing out Tofu sample, he jumps in front of DAVE 
nearly knocking him over.

BARRY
Hello sir, would you like to try a free sample?

DAVE
No thanks Barry, had a big lunch.

BARRY
Oh sure thing sir, that's what they all say.

DAVE
I'm just not into tofu, and you don't have to call me sir, you know my name.

BARRY
I guess this is the way the tofu crumbles. You're a sales clerk in a fancy 
little no dress code music store, and I'm the free samples guy at the TofuTopia 
that you can just walk all over anytime you want.

DAVE
Barry I wasn't walking all over you, this isn't such a bad job.

BARRY throws down his sample tray.

BARRY
Dammit! stop trying to patronize me, this is bullshit!
I bust my ass twice a week for two hours at this place just hoping they'll move 
me to the kitchen, or at least register! But they stick me out here, for the 
whole world to ignore. Well it's high time I stop dreaming and take action, I'm 
going to burn this place to the ground and watch all you scum buckets run for 
lives and riot in an apocalyptic rage HA HA HA!

While BARRY rants, DAVE slips away, DENNIS the TofuTopia manager grabs BARRY.

DENNIS
Barry, what in the name of tofu are you doing? Is that your sample tray on the 
ground?


BARRY
Yes..

DENNIS
You've failed us all Barry, free samples are one of the most important pillars 
in the food court. And using profanity in front of a potential customer, you're 
fired.

BARRY
I can explain Mr. Taylor!

DENNIS
I'm sorry Barry, you're just not TofuTopia material.

DENNIS walks away, camera pushes in on BARRY.

BARRY
You'll be sorry record store clerk!

EXT. OUTSIDE MALL-PARKING LOT

As DAVE walks through he parking lot we see that he is slightly bothered about 
the events that had occurred today, a random loudmouth stranger walks by DAVE.

LOUDMOUTH STRANGER
All right, the gay guy who broke up with Mandi!

DAVE
I hate this town.

TWO STORY TOWN

During the song DAVE walks through the parking lot occasionally stopping now and 
then.

DAVE
I couldn't sleep
took a walk down second avenue
sick of dreaming
and dreams that never come true
on a one way street
and I know where it's leading to

there's a for sale sign
on the front door of the city hall
the subway a line
with feigns going off the wall
I could take a hit
but I don't wanna take the fall

that's just one side of the story
in this two story town

it's just the same old sights
in the same old town
I'm gonna take my car and drive out of this two story town
the same old ship
is goin down
I'm going down down down down
in a two story town

He looks down into a puddle, we see his reflection, MANDI appears. This 
basically takes us through the course of their relationship, her cheating and 
them breaking up.



DAVE
there's a girl that I sleep with
got ecstasy eyes
she promised me roses
and American pie
instead I got her demon
I kissed them both goodbye

He steps through the puddle causing MANDI'S image to ripple away.


DAVE
shed the daze of Monday morning
in this two story town

it's just the same old sights
and the same old sounds
I'm gonna take my car and drive out of this two story town
the same old ship
is going down
I'm going down down down down
in a two story town

one shot to make a move now
the ghosts are calling me out

and me I'm just one story
in a two story town
but your never gonna find me in the lost and found

it's just the same old sights
and the same old sounds
I'm gonna take my car and drive out of this two story town
the same old ship
is going down
I'm going down down down down

it's just the same old sights
and the same old sounds
I'm gonna take my horse and ride off of this merry go round
I won't give in
and I won't back down
never going down down down down
I ain't never going down down down
In a two story town

He gets in his car and drives off as the song ends.

EXT. OUTDOOR PARTY IN AN OPENING IN THE WOODS

DAVE gets out of his car, BEN, BRI, and JON enter frame.

BRI
There you are.

DAVE
Sorry guys, I had a little...trouble.

JON
I hate to say this, but it's kind of dull here.

BEN
Just people getting wasted and talking about hidden meanings in cartoons.

JON
But don't despair, I saw some hot girls here.

BRI looks slightly offended.

JON
But I have Bri.

BRI
Kiss ass.

DAVE
Well let's go check it out.

Cut to a group of people sitting around listening to a stoner named MATT who is 
in the middle of a rant.

MATT
If you guys wanna get seriously tripped out, smoke a bowl, and watch Scooby doo 
without any sound. Oh it's crazy, the gang's all running around and shit from 
this giant frog. So to escape, they jump in the back of the mystery machine, and 
inside it are all these things that look like pot leaves. Then a few seconds 
later, smoke starts pouring out of the van and they all jump back out, then you 
see this guy with no head running around, and the frog's dancing, it's messed 
up!


DAVE and company come into frame as he finishes talking, the camera follows them 
as they walk.

BEN
Hey Bri, there's Walter.

Cut to WALTER, he's leaning against a tree smoking a cigarette by himself. Cut 
back to BRI staring off camera.

BRI
Should I go talk to him guys, he's there looking so adorable, by himself and I 
smell like pretzels, I need a drink!

She walks off, DAVE, BEN, and JON are left alone.

DAVE
Well this is a lovely tea party.

JON
Wait, look over there!

CUT to a girl named JEN talking to a group of people, cut back to the guys.



BEN
Forget it man, you've lost your touch ever since you enrolled in med school.

JON
I still have it, remember I'm Yoda and you're Luke Skywalker, now watch the 
master work.

DAVE
May the force be with you!

Cut to JEN at a keg, JON enters frame.

JON
Hey..

She notices him and smiles.

JEN
Hi!

JON
I was just wandering if I can..

He pulls a bottle of syrup out of his pocket.

JON
Cover you from head to toe in syrup and lick it off.

JEN throws her BEER in his face and storms off, DAVE and BEN walk into frame.

BEN
Misguided you are.

Cut to WALTER standing alone smoking a cigarette, BRI enters frame.

BRI
Hello Walter.

WALTER
Well hello.

BRI
How are you tonight?

WALTER
Good, kind of bored.

BRI
Yeah me too.

WALTER
So, you wanna get out of here and go to my place?

BRI
You don't call me for three months and you expect me to say, sure I'll come over 
and get you off!

WALTER
No it's nothing like that, we'll just watch a movie.

BRI
Won't your mom have something to say about this?

WALTER
We'll wait till she's asleep.

BRI
Old habits die hard I see.

Cut to DAVE walking through the party by himself, as he views the acts people 
are engaged in he notices MARIE with a guitar sitting alone by a bon fire in the 
distance. As he approaches her he quietly listens to her sing. Cut to MARIE 
singing and playing her guitar a little out of tune.

MARIE
(singing)
Baby now that I found you I won't let you go, I've built my world around you I 
need you so, baby even though you don't need me now.

DAVE slowly walks behind her.

MARIE
Baby now that I found you I won't let you go, I've built my world around you I 
need you so, baby even though you don't need me.

DAVE
You're a little out of tune.

MARIE looks up at him.

MARIE
Yes thank you, I noticed that.

DAVE
Here let me see it.

He sits next to her, she hands him the guitar. He tries to play but obviously 
has no idea what he's doing.

MARIE
Do you play?

DAVE
No, I just wanted to try to impress you.

MARIE
Well I appreciate the effort, not many drunk guys came on to me as nice as you 
did.

DAVE
You think I'm drunk? Perfectly sober.

MARIE
Prove it.

DAVE
Okay.

He takes out a long narrow log from the fire pit and throws it on the ground. 
MARIE watches him with a pitying but flirty smile. DAVE tries to balance himself 
but the log rolls out from underneath him.


MARIE
Not drunk huh?

DAVE
It was...I..

MARIE
I believe you, if you were, you would've reached for a burning log in the fire.

She puts out her hand.

MARIE
Marie, and you are?

DAVE
Dave the incredible idiot.

They shake hands.

MARIE
Nice to meet you.

Cut to MANDI getting out of her car, she looks in her side mirror.

MANDI
Okay, Davey boy, it's time to show you what acting is all about.

She dabs a bit of icy balm under her eyes, she dramatically starts to sob 
loudly. Her friends ASHLEY and JOSIE enter frame.

JOSIE
Oh god Mandi, are you alright?

ASHLEY
We just heard.

JOSIE
Yeah it sucks.

ASHLEY
Just because Stewart broke up with you doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

MANDI springs up in a rage.

MANDI
What! What do you he broke up with ME?...I mean, what did I ever do to him Ash?

She falls into ASHLEY'S arms, her and JOSIE console her.

JOSIE
Don't worry sweetie, he was a loser.

MANDI
I just wish things were the same again like they were a month ago, simple and 
lovely. Like the times when I was with Dave.

JOSIE
You mean the record store boy?

ASHLEY
I think he's over there talking to that guitar player chick.

MANDI
What, where's the bitch!

Cut to the three hiding behind a bush watching DAVE and MARIE. Cut to DAVE and 
MARIE in the middle of an enjoyable conversation.

MARIE
I've been taking music lessons since I was five, too bad I haven't gotten 
anywhere with at all.

DAVE
You will, you just have to wait for the right moment to come along.

MARIE
And when that comes I can show the world how horrible I am.

DAVE
You never know until you try, I heard you singing, you're voice is beautiful, 
and the guitar....hey it happens. Do you think Stevie Knicks became awesome 
right after she fell out of the womb?

MARIE
Yes.

DAVE
Yeah, you're probably right.

MARIE
How'd you get to be so cute?

DAVE
Years of practice.

MARIE
(laughing)
So Ferris, what do you wanna do with your life?

DAVE
Good question, no idea.

MARIE
Well what are you in to?

DAVE
Movies, music, talking, I've tried to get a band going before, but I realized I 
couldn't do that

MARIE
Why not

DAVE
I'd probably suck out there in the big time.


MARIE
You never know until you try, learn to heed your own advice.

DAVE
I've tried to write a few songs and stuff, I can't think of anything to write a 
song about.

MARIE
It's easy, listen to your heart.

They both lose themselves in each others eyes for a moment, MARIE snaps out of 
it first.

MARIE
Well I gotta run, it was very nice talking with you.

She gets up, DAVE quickly gets up.

DAVE
Wait, I work at a record store over at the mall, we have some killer guitars if 
you wanna come check them out.

MARIE
When do you work?

DAVE
Tomorrow at six.

MARIE
Okay, but I require you're personal assistance, god of the guitar.

DAVE
Wouldn't have any other way.

MARIE smiles at him.

MARIE
Dave, you're a really nice guy.

DAVE
And you're a very nice girl.

MARIE
I noticed that far off look in your eyes, if you want to pursue anything with me 
I need to give you some advice. Please don't fall for me....you look hopeless, 
well goodnight tenderheart.

DAVE
Tenderheart..

MARIE walks off leaving DAVE in a confused but floating on cloud nine state , 
cut back to MANDI, ASHLEY, and JOSIE.

MANDI
The slut! 


ASHLEY
I heard she screwed like twelve different guys.


JOSIE
She is so like one of those Goth, punk wannabes.

MANDI
No problem, just a minor hurdle, that little bitch is going down!



EXT. OUTSIDE DOM'S HOUSE-MORNING

DAVE pulls up and get out of his car, he walks to the door and rings the 
doorbell, DOM answers.


DOM
Well, the prodigal son returns.

DAVE
Good morning to you too Dom.

DOM
I'd like you to know, that because of you're insolence, Tunak and myself we're 
eaten by the earth dragon last night.
I lost a power bow because of you!

DAVE
I'm sorry man, can I come in?

DOM
Oh by all means.

INT. DOM'S ROOM

NATE is sitting on a bed watching television, DAVE and DOM enter.

NATE
Dave!

DAVE
What's up Nate, little early to be watching porn isn't it?

NATE
Hey I'm an early riser, if you know what I mean.

DOM
Right, so mystic, what are you looking so excited about?

DAVE
Guys, I met the most amazing girl last night!

NATE
Did you see her cooter?

DOM
Not you too mystic, did you not learn your lesson with the last female?

DAVE
You don't understand, it's like every little thing I've looked for in the 
opposite sex, is crammed into one person. She's beautiful, she can sing, she's 
smart, she's funny, I think I'm in love guys.

DOM
Do not speak that word here!

NATE
Impossible Dave, you've never felt love until you meet the one.


DAVE
I think she is the one Nate.

NATE
No not that one, this one!

He tosses Dave a playboy.

DAVE
Playmate of the year?

PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR

NATE jumps up from the bed and grabs the playboy from DAVE.

NATE
there's this girl I don't know
comes by every year or so
and if I get the mail before my mom does 
then she'll stay here in my room

she'll change every year
even pretty without beer
she doesn't care about my hair my car
or my tiny pee pee in the mirror

she's finally here
she comes one time a year
she's finally here
my playmate of the year

she moves me
she makes me grow
I'm so happy
and boy does it show
she's going to my head
she's going to my head
I'm gonna make this milky clear
you're my playmate of the year

DOM sits in chair, pulls out a picture, and clutches it hiding it from the 
others. When he reveals the picture, we see that it is none other than MANDI. 

DOM
hello how are you
it's great to see you too
lets grab a sock
it's time to rock
and afterwards you never want to talk

we always agree
who's in charge here is me
we never fight you know I'm right
it's always straight between you and me

Cut to wide of all three.

NATE and DOM
she's finally here
she comes one time a year
she's finally here
my playmate of the year

she moves me
she makes me grow
I'm so happy
and boy does it show
she's going to my head
she's going to my head
I'm gonna make this milky clear
you're my playmate of the year

Screen splits, DOM and NATE are having their different fantasies about their 
dream girls. NATE has playboy bunny riding him, DOM and MANDI are making out 
dressed as Lord of the rings characters.

NATE and DOM
she's finally here
she comes one time a year
she's finally here
my playmate of the year

she moves me
she makes me grow
I'm so happy
and boy does it show
she's going to my head
she's going to my head
I'm gonna make this milky clear
you're my playmate of the year

They snap back into reality.

DAVE
Um, Dom, is that a picture of Mandi?

DOM hides the picture.

DOM
What are you talking about?

INT. MALL ENTRANCE-LATER ON IN THE DAY

DAVE, DOM, and NATE come into the mall.

DAVE
See guys the outer world isn't that bad.

NATE
Wow I think I saw that girl on dirty whore dot com!

They start to walk.

DOM
I think I'm going to die of exposure.

DAVE
Oh no you can't die until you've tasted a CK's pretzel.


Cut to BRI working at the pretzel booth, DAVE and company enter frame.

DAVE
Afternoon buddy.

She acknowledges DOM and NATE

BRI
Today's your day with kids?

DAVE
These two have yet to experience one of your sour cream and onion pretzels.

She pulls out two pretzels from the oven.

BRI
So did you have fun last night?

DAVE 
Oh man I met..

BRI
I saw her, she's cute.

DOM
 Because of that female, mystic spoke of the dreaded L word.

BRI
Loser? You should know that one well.

DAVE
So, anything interesting happen with you and Walter?

BRI
Well we talked, he had a little "proposition" for me.

DAVE
And?

BRI
Well, you're not going to believe this but..

We flash back to last night.

INT. WALTER'S ROOM-LASTNIGHT

As we see the events of last night, BRI narrates with a voice over.

BRI(VO)
Ok, so the night started off ok. He snuck me into his house as usual, after his 
mother was asleep...and he used his usual lines about us going to his room to 
hang out and watch a movie. So he puts in this old comedy tape of some washed up 
wanna be, and the next thing I know, Walter's breathing down my neck. So yeah, 
I'm ok with this at first...after all I'm getting some, right? So we start 
making out...things get a little heavy...and then...it starts. Mid kiss, right, 
he stops to laugh at the god damn tape! I was like "oh no...this shit has to 
go." So he gets up and puts in Pulp Fiction! Once again, I don't care...I'm not 
there for the movie! So things progress more, and the next thing I know he's on 
top of me. And then he stops.

WALTER
Mind if we turn around? I don't like our heads being at the foot of the bed, I 
mean this is where my feet go.

BRI(VO)
Give me a break! So I look at him like, "you're kidding me, right?" he gets the 
hint and we continue to make out. Then, get this, he actually pretended to hit 
his head off of the stand near the foot of the bed at a lousy attempt to have a 
reason to turn around! Yeah, so at the point, I have had enough. I don't know, 
maybe it was the constant interruptions, the blare form the TV, or the sudden 
realization of what a loser this guy really is, but I just couldn't get into 
it...so I left.

DAVE
Damn, Bri, it's about time! 

 BRI
Yeah, yeah...who knew it would take a John Travolta movie to finally snap out of 
it! But anyway, what about you? Please tell me you got this chicks number.

DAVE
No..

BRI
Dave! her name at least?

DAVE
Marie, she said she'll stop by the store today.

BRI
Yeah they always say, but never do.

DAVE
Bri, she is so great!

BRI
Yeha I know how it is, this is the fun part, enjoy it while it lasts.

DAVE
I gotta get to work, I'll talk to you guys later.

DAVE runs off.

NATE
(to BRI)
Hey there.

BRI
Nate, I will never sleep with you.

INT. TRAX

BEN is sitting at the counter drumming to the beat of music playing in the 
store, Dave enters frame.

DAVE
Hey Ben, sorry I'm late.

BEN
There's a surprise waiting for you over by the guitars.

Cut to DAVE walking into frame with a smile that quickly turns into a horror, 
camera swings around to show MANDI.

MANDI
Hi Davey bear.

DAVE
What do you want?

MANDI
I came, to apologize.

DAVE
It's ok, you don't have to, I know it's in your blood to act that way.

MANDI
No I really mean it.

DAVE
Fine, I forgive you, now leave.

He starts to walk away, MANDI runs and grabs him.

MANDI
I'm serious David.

DAVE
Why did you called me David?

MANDI
Don't I always when I'm being sincere?

DAVE
I'm listening.

MANDI
I acted the way I did yesterday because, well I've been bottling something up 
inside me ever since we broke up.

DAVE
What's that?

MANDI
I'm in love with you.


DAVE
Please..

MANDI starts to cry.

MANDI
How can you be so cold, where's the loving caring Dave I knew.


DAVE
You cheated on him.


MANDI
I'm so sorry, I really am, I guess I just wasn't ready for anything serious at 
the time.

DAVE
And a month later you are?

MANDI
I know I don't deserve you, but all I ask is just to give me a second chance.

DAVE
Mandi, could we possibly talk about this at another time?

MANDI
Will you come to my house Saturday night?

DAVE
Sure.

MANDI
You will! I love you so much Davey.

She hugs him and kisses Dave, he pushed her off.

DAVE
Okay, I'll see you Saturday night.

MANDI smile and walks away, when her back is turned we see her oh so familiar 
evil grin.

MANDI
Sucker.

Cut back to BEN at the counter, DAVE enters frame.

BEN
What was that about?

DAVE
Mandi's feeling regretful.

BEN
Yeah Stewart Myers broke up with her.

DAVE
Seriously? Then that explains it.

BEN
Rebound, she wants her comfort pillow back again.

DAVE
She asked me to come over Saturday night.


BEN
You're not going are you?

DAVE
I guess I have to.

BEN
Dave, if you even think about getting back with her I'm disowning you!

DAVE
Don't worry, if she gets out of hand I'm out of there.

BEN
Dave, you're the type of guy where there is only one girl in the world for you. 
Someone who is just like you.

Cut to MARIE walking into the store, cut back to BEN and DAVE, BEN notices 
MARIE.

BEN
Someone with black hair, brown eyes, petite, super hot, and Italian, I saw her 
first

Cut to BEN escorting MARIE into the store.

BEN
Welcome to Trax, my name is Ben, and will be your guide into the world of music, 
what can I help you with today?

MARIE
Is Dave working today?

Shot down, Ben points towards the counter.

Cut back to DAVE, MARIE and BEN walk into frame.

MARIE
Hey there.

DAVE
Hey, oh Marie this is Ben.

MARIE
I know, we just met.

BEN
Well I guess I'll go into the background and listen to One is he loneliest 
number and dwell on the status of my love life.

BEN leaves.

MARIE
Will he be alright?


DAVE
Ben, yeah he's never felt rejection before.

MARIE
So where's your wide selection of guitars?

Cut to DAVE and MARIE looking at guitars.

DAVE
So what are you interested in?

MARIE
Preferably something in tune.

DAVE
Oh then you want this one.

MARIE
Awesome.

She tries it out.

MARIE
(singing)
Baby now that I found you I won't let you go, I've built my world around you I 
need you so.

They both are caught in a moment again.

MARIE
Well you know how the rest of that song goes, so how much is this thing?

DAVE
Oh, congratulations!

MARIE
What?

DAVE
You're our five hundredth customer, you've won a free guitar.

MARIE
Shut up.

DAVE
I'm serious.

MARIE
Dave....

DAVE
What, ask Ben, we've been giving out free guitars since we've opened.

She stares at DAVE with a warm smile.

MARIE
You and me can never work.

DAVE
You never know until you try.

MARIE
I have, I'll do nothing but hurt you.

DAVE
Impossible.

MARIE
That's what you are.

DAVE
Well, there's a practice area over there if you want to give her go. I should go 
help Ben in the back room, ring if you need anything.

DAVE walks off.

MARIE
Bye Dave..


MARIE sits on a stool in the practice area and starts to play.

WOULDN'T IT BE GOOD

MARIE
I've got it bad
you don't know how bad I've got it
you've got it easy
you don't know when you got it good
it's getting harder
just keeping life and soul together
I'm sick of fighting
even though I know I should
the cold is biting
through each and every nerve inside me
my broken spirit is frozen to the pole

I wouldn't want to be here no more

wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes
even if it was for just one day
wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away

you must be joking
you don't know a thing about it
you've got no problem
I'd stay right there if I was you
I've got it harder
you couldn't dream how hard I've got it
stay out of my shoes
if you know what's good for you
the heat is stifling
burning me up on the inside
the sweat is coming
from each and every pour

I wouldn't want to be here no more

wouldn't it be good to be on your side
grass is always greener over there
wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care

Guitar break, she plays through the break, as she plays we pull out slightly to 
DAVE listening to her from the back room.



DAVE
I've got it bad
you don't know how bad I've got it
you've got it easy
you don't know when you got it good
it's getting harder
just keeping life and soul together
I'm sick of fighting
even though I know I should
you're the one who
that I need most
you've got it easy
you don't know when you got it good
it's getting harder
just keeping life and soul together
I'm sick of fighting
even though I know I should

MARIE
wouldn't it be good to be on your side
grass is always greener over there
wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care
wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes
even if it was for just one day
wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away

Cut back to DAVE and MARIE as they both sing, DAVE sings under MARIE until DAVE 
exits and MARIE stops playing and rests her head on the wall.

INT. TRAX-THE NEXT DAY


DAVE is manning the register, BEN sits on top of the counter, they are engaged 
in conversation.

BEN
Dave, in your opinion what is the best song to make out to.

DAVE
Best song to make out to? Oh no contest, Exile, Kiss you all over or pretty much 
anything by Air Supply.

BEN
Oh god stop, you're killing me.

DAVE
What?

BEN
What about Peter Gabriel?




DAVE
He's good, a tad bit cliche though.

BEN
Cliche, I can't believe I'm hearing this.

TRINA(OC)
I agree.

TRINA walks into frame.

DAVE
With me or him?

TRINA
With you, ever since Say Anything, In your eyes has been on every mix tape made 
for a girlfriend, form a lost little hopeless romantic.

DAVE
Ah, Lloyd Dobler syndrome.

TRINA
Exactly, every guy that's been interested in me has shown up at the front of my 
house blaring that song on a boom box.

BEN, highly offended, stares her down.

  TRINA
Hi I'm Trina.

She puts out her hand.

BEN
Ben, and if you don't mind I would like to go back to me and my friends private 
conversation.

TRINA
Oh I didn't think it was that private, I heard you clear over on the other side 
of the store, loud mouth.

BEN
Okay fine, since you're such a musical scholar, what songs do YOU make out to.

TRINA
Wanna go somewhere secluded and find out?

BEN
Tell me first.

TRINA
Michael Jackson.

BEN
You are one sick puppy, what about Dean Martin?

TRINA
He's alright.

BEN
Alright!? Dino is god!

BEN grabs her hand, and starts pulling her away.

TRINA
I like a man who's forceful.

BEN
You have to be shown the right path before it's too late you poor girl.

Cut back to DAVE, BRI walks into frame.

BRI
Hey doll.

DAVE
Hey Bri.

BRI
What's wrong Davido, didn't you're dream girl come visit

DAVE
Yeah.

BRI
Then why do you look so sad?

DAVE
I don't know what to do with her, she is so amazing, but every time I put out 
the fact that I'm into her, she tells me it'll never happen. At least she does 
it in a nice way.

BRI
I know how it feels.

DAVE
You've never been turned down before.

BRI
Do you recall last summer?

DAVE
That doesn't count that was a mutual agreement, and plus you and Walter were 
never really an item.

BRI
True, but I still know what it feels like to fall for someone, hard.

DAVE
But I get this different feeling with Marie.

BRI
I know, like there's nobody else in the entire universe you want more than that 
one person.

DAVE
Exactly, god I wish I knew what to do with this girl, and I've better myself so 
much since the Mandi nightmare.

BRI
I'm sorry buddy, you're still the same lost little puppy you were.

FALLING FOR THE FIRST TIME

DAVE
I'm so cool

BRI
too bad you're a loser

DAVE
I'm so smart

BRI
too bad you can't get anything figures out

DAVE
I'm so brave

BRI
too bad you're a baby

DAVE 
I'm so fly
that's probably why it feel just like I'm falling for the first time

BRI
I'm so green
it's really amazing
I'm so clean
too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me
I'm so sane
it's driving me crazy
it so strange
I can't believe it feels just like I'm falling for the first time

BRI
anyone perfect must be lying 

DAVE
anything easy has it's cost

BRI
anyone plain can be lovely

DAVE 
anyone loved can be lost

BRI
what if I lost my direction

DAVE
what if I lost sense of time
what if I nursed this infection
maybe the worst is behind

DAVE and BRI
it feels just like we're falling for the first time
it feel just like we're falling for the first time

DAVE
I'm so chilled
no wonder it's freezing
I'm so still
I just can't keep my fingers out of anything
I'm so thrilled
to finally be failing
I'm so done turn me over
cause it feels just like I'm falling for the first time

DAVE
anything plain can be lovely


BRI
anything loved can be lost

DAVE
maybe I lost my direction

BRI
what if love is the cost

DAVE
anyone perfect must be lying

BRI
anything easy has it's cost

DAVE and BRI
anyone plain can be lovely
anyone loved can be lost
what if we lost our direction
what if we lost our direction
what if we nursed our infections
maybe the worst is behind
maybe the worst is behind

They both end up the counter in a thinking deeply position.

DAVE
I need to forget the past and move on with my life.

BRI
And get this Marie chicks number!

DAVE
Right!

TRINA enters frame, BEN follows.

BEN
The Beach Boys, Bob Segar? They're tinker toys compared to Echo and the Bunny 
Men!

TRINA
And I'm the one who's blind?

INT. TRAX-LATER THAT NIGHT

DAVE is sitting at the counter vigorously scribbling lyrics down on paper, he 
slams his pencil and his paper on the counter. He pulls put a picture of MANDI 
and stares at it.

DAVE
Haven't you done enough to me already?

He slams his head on the counter.

DAVE
Forget her man, she's in the past, things are fine now, you found an angel.

He lifts his head back up.

DAVE
That's right, forget Mandi!

He looks around to make sure nobody's in the store, he pulls out a guitar.

DAVE
Listen to your heart...

LIFE AFTER MANDI

Dave starts to play.

DAVE
I'm waking up and Baking
watching the parade
cause today's the day I got over you
I'm taking out the trash
and the pictures that I stashed 
of the two of us in nineteen ninety two
you stole my heart when Eddie Vedder was kings
I gave you a foot massage, I gave you my ring
you left me for a drummer, cause you said I couldn't sing
but that's okay

cause there'll be

no more
mountain climbing in the rain
no more
long hair clogging up the drain
no more
life will never be the same
life after Mandi's not so bad at all

I saw you with the dude that gave us our first tattoo's
did he cover up my name that was fast
can you believe that I'm alive
still caught working nine to five
and my little band is kicking some ass
so when you asked me if I hated you now
it's not you it's just all of the times I missed out on
sleeping with your roommate every time you passed out
but that's okay

and now there's

no more
mountain climbing in the rain
no more
long hair clogging up the drain
no more
life will never be the same
life after Mandi's not so bad at all

He stands up on the counter.

I bet you're saying to yourself
that you'll find somebody else like me
all I gotta say is there ain't no fuckin way
that you're getting me to say I'm sorry

not today!

no more
mountain climbing in the rain
no more
long hair clogging up the drain
no more
life will never be the same


cleaning up the house again
listening to house of pain
having headaches in my brain
listening to you complain
shopping at the mall again
I'm out of rhymes I gotta say

Life after Mandi's not so bad at all

no more
mountain climbing in the rain
no more
long hair clogging up the drain
it's not so bad at all!

He crumbles up a picture of Mandi and tosses it in the trash

INT. FOOD COURT-TWO DAYS LATER

DAVE is eating a burger and reading a comic, MARIE enters frame and sits across 
from him.


MARIE
Interesting reading material.


DAVE
(muffled)
Hey Marie....I....


MARIE
Come on sweetie, chew your food, that's it.

DAVE
How's your new baby?

MARIE
That's what I came here for, to thank you and apologize for running off the 
other day without saying bye.

DAVE
Don't worry about it.

MARIE
I know it may seem that I'm being totally rude every time you do something nice 
for me, but I really appreciate it.

DAVE
Hey I try, and plus I don't mind spending two hundred and eighty bucks on a girl 
I just met.

MARIE responds with a shocked expression.

DAVE
I'm kidding! Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I have a question for you.

MARIE
And I hope I can give you an answer.

DAVE
Why do you consider yourself so dangerous?

MARIE
Well every time I meet a guy, my hormones go crazy and I just have to get him in 
my room, tie him up, and beat the shit out of him with a whip.

DAVE
Kinky.

MARIE
It's from all those years of bottled up sexual angst, I went to a catholic 
school.

DAVE
I like a girl in uniform, jumpers, mini skirts, the whole nine yards. 

MARIE
Tell you what, you can wear it while you're tied up.

DAVE
Seriously though.

MARIE
 I'm just not that good in relationships, I had a boyfriend once in my entire 
life and it was full of ups and downs, mostly downs.

DAVE
I'm sorry, who was it?

MARIE
Ethan McCullin.

DAVE
What? You dated that asshole?

MARIE
I know, I was stupid and I just wanted a boyfriend at the time. I hate to admit 
it, but for some reason he was my first love, then I thought what the hell am I 
thinking. I even told him that, I regret it everyday, things kept getting worse 
and worse, until I broke free of him, and in doing so went my reputation down 
the tube. But honestly, I didn't like who I was when I was with Ethan, I 
couldn't be myself at all. I swore to myself I wouldn't let something like that 
ever happen again, and I've been a free spirit ever since. 

DAVE
It's not always like that you know.

MARIE
I know, and I have this feeling you want to prove that fact to me.

Yet again another shared moment by the two.

DAVE
Well I got to get back to work, would fair lady like to escort me back.

MARIE
Sure thing.

As they get up and walk away, a person in a baseball hat and trench coat who was 
behind them stands up, they take the hat  off and out pours a mass of hair, she 
turns around, it's JOSIE. She takes out her cell phone and dials a number.

JOSIE
Ashley, Josie, call Ethan Mcullin, we're setting him up on a little date. 

INT. Trax

DAVE and MARIE walk into the store, they are greeted by a high pitched squeal. 
Cut to MANDI holding a doggy bag and BEN cringing behind the counter.

MANDI
Sweetie!

She runs and hugs DAVE.


DAVE
Um, hi?

MANDI
Oh who's this?


DAVE
Marie, this is Mandi.

MANDI
I just love to meet Davey's little friends, I've heard so much about you!

MARIE
Yes and how I've heard so little about you.

MANDI
Oh well that's okay, well anyways sweetbuns, I brought you a tofu burger.

She kisses DAVE and leaves.

MANDI
Love you later, see you Saturday.

MARIE
Who was that?

DAVE
My ex, she thinks we're getting back together.

MARIE
What's going on Saturday?

DAVE
Oh, um..

BEN steps in and saves DAVE.

BEN
Dave here is the paperboy Saturday mornings, and he delivers to her house on his 
route.

MARIE
I see, paperboy, you guys have a restroom here.

BEN
Yes straight in the back.

MARIE exits frame.

DAVE
Thanks for the save man, but why on earth did you let her in here?

BEN
She threatened my life, you know something, I don't think she's changed like she 
says she has.


DAVE
You're being a little paranoid, what can that girl possibly be capable of?

BEN
You're probably right, now, are you going to ask her out?

DAVE
Yeah, it's the perfect time while we're here alone.


BEN
And then get her in the back room and get nakie.


DAVE
Go to lunch!

BEN leaves, DAVE goes to man the counter, MARIE walks into frame.

MARIE
So, since I told you about my past mind telling me about yours?

DAVE
You mean Mandi? Well what can I say, she was my Ethan, it was total hell for me. 
She seemed great when I first met her, but then she just turned into this 
egotistical hell demon, and then I broke it off.

MARIE
But yet she's still in your life, and bringing you Tofu burgers.

DAVE
Hey this is all her doing, but enough about her. What are you doing Saturday?

MARIE
It depends.  

DAVE
Would you like to go on a date with me.

MARIE
Don't you have papers to deliver, I think Mandi will be upset if she doesn't get 
to read dear abbey.

DAVE
She can go to the store and get one.

MARIE
Ok then, sure. What are we going to do?

DAVE
It's a surprise.

MARIE
Okay, but there are limits for you.

DAVE
No tongue, I can live with that.



MARIE
No far off, lost little puppy, please let me love you looks.

DAVE
Ehh, That might be tough.

MARIE
Dave....

SO HAPPY TOGETHER

DAVE jumps over the counter and leans towards MARIE.



DAVE
Imagine me and you I do
I think about you day night
It's only right
to think about the girl you love
and hold her tight
so happy together

If I should call you up 
invest a dime
and you say you belong to me
and ease my mind
imagine how the world could be
so very fine
so happy together
I can't see me lovin nobody but you for all my life
when you're with me baby the sky's will be blue for all my life

DAVE has MARIE cornered, he tries to kiss her, but she slips away.


MARIE
me and you
and you and me
I'm sorry I can never be
your perfect dream
let's stay the way that we are now
and we'll avoid
false fairy tale endings

DAVE jumps up on the counter.

DAVE
I can't see me lovin nobody but you for all my life
when you're with me baby the sky's will be blue for all my life

DAVE jumps down and grabs MARIE by the waist and they have a short dance break 
around the store.

DAVE
me and you
and you and me
no matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
the only one for me is you
and you for me
so happy together

MARIE
It won't be forever.

DAVE
we'll stay together

MARIE
so happy together


DAVE
through stormy weather

As the song ends, camera pans over to the store window, MANDI is glaring in on 
them.

Cut to about forty five minutes later, BEN walks into the store.

BEN
Dave? Are you nakie? Is Marie nakie? Can I watch?

BEN walks to the counter and picks up the doggy bag.

BEN
Oh, Dave's Tofu burger, I wonder what this stuff tastes like.

Ben takes it out of the bag and opens the box.

BEN
(horrified)
Ahhhhh!

Ben runs away, on closer examination of the tofu burger, we see a dead rat 
burger intstead and a note which reads; Record Store Clerk, This is but a sample 
of what's to come...The Sampler.

INT. BEN'S HOUSE-THE NEXT DAY-DAY

BEN, BRI, and DAVE are in different relaxed positions watching television.

DAVE
Well guys, tonight's the fist date.

BRI
Oh that's right!

BEN
What are you guys going to do?

DAVE
I'll tell you guys about it tomorrow.

BEN
If you two get freaky, I call first to get the details!

DAVE
We're not going to.

BEN
Aw boo!

BRI
 Dave is a virgin, he would be too scared to touch her anywhere south of her 
neck.


DAVE
No I just respect her.

BRI
Sweetie, it's great that you respect her personal space, but when it comes down 
to it all girls eventually need to get down and dirty. You'll be sitting in her 
room or your car and suddenly boom! She attacks you, then you're not going to 
know what to do.

DAVE
Okay then show me.

BEN takes out a pillow with a bra on it and puts it on the bed.

DAVE
Do you always keep a bra handy in your room?

BEN
This is how Jon taught me. Now here's Marie, only a little shorter and a bit 
fluffy. You two are sitting there, talking laughing haha, whatever, now start 
slowly kissing on her neck. Now she knows you mean business, and soon you'll be 
kissing each other, and when that happens gently hold the back of her head like 
so. Then once things get hot and heavy, mover your hands slowly down and under 
her shirt, and now with one swift motion , squeeze the hooks together and let 
the bra fall. Now this is where people screw up, now it's time to put the hand 
on the boobies, you want to be gentle.

BEN starts groping and making out with the pillow, JON walks into the room.

JON
Ben you suck!

BEN springs back up and throws the pillow across the room.

BRI
We're giving Dave advice on getting freaky.

JON
No guys, it's not about getting freaky, it's all about the tenderness.

JON sits DAVE in a chair.

TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS

JON, BEN, and BRI surround DAVE on the chair.

JON
Oh she made me weary
and young girls they do get weary
wearing that same old shaggy dress
but when she gets weary
try a little tenderness

BRI
you know she's waiting
just anticipating
for things that she just never possessed
but while she's there waiting
try a little tenderness that's all you gotta do



BEN
It's not just sentimental 
she has her greed and care
but the soft words 
they are spoke so gentle
it makes it easier
easier to bear

BRI
you won't regret it
young girls they don't forget it
love is there only happiness
but it's all so easy

JON
all you gotta do is try
try a little tenderness
all you gotta do is man
hold her where you wanna

squeeze her
don't tease her
never leave her
you got to try a little tenderness
you got to know how to love her man
take this advice

All four start to dance.

man you've got to squeeze her
don't tease her 
never leave
you've got to hold her
and brother try a little tenderness
you've got to rub her gently man
don't bruise her no no no

As the song ends, they dance off.


INT. TRAX-LATER THAT DAY-NIGHT

DAVE is closing the store, after a bit he looks up. Cut to MARIE looking 
downright beautiful. Cut back to DAVE still staring a MARIE enters frame.

DAVE
I know I may be crossing one of your lines when I say this, but you look 
incredible.

MARIE
No, that's innocent enough.


DAVE
You ready?

MARIE
And willing.

INT. EAT N' SPEED ROLLER RINK RESTAURANT 

Crane shot of the roller rink, which is a nostalgic roller track/restaurant with 
scattered eating areas for people to have  dinner and such, waiters are taking 
orders and various people dressed as pop culture icon's such as Billy Idol, 
Golden Girls, etc skating through the rink, cut to DAVE and MARIE walking in 
through the front door.

MARIE
(laughing)
Eat n' Speed?

DAVE
Hey, some guys believe in the traditional fancy dinner and over praised 
Hollywood film. I on the other hand, believe in tacky pop culture themed skating 
restaurants, and a cheap B movie.

MARIE
I couldn't agree with you more, no lets get out there.

She grabs DAVE'S arm and pulls him away, as they leave in come MANDI, JOSIE, and 
ASHLEY wearing platform shoes, bellbottoms, hippie vests, sun glasses, and fro 
wigs.

ASHLEY
My god, this place is so a decade ago.

JOSIE
That's the point dumbass, it's a theme restaurant.

ASHLEY
And these clothes reek of thrift stores.

MANDI
Would you two shut up,, try to keep a low profile we're here on a mission, and I 
don't want to be caught dead in this place.

ASHLEY
So you want people to see us dressed like disgusting hippies?

MANDI
They're disguises you retard, so the loser and his emo punk bitch girlfriend 
won't recognize us when we break her legs.

SOME GUY
Hey Mandi, hey Josie, nice outfit.

MANDI
Shit! come on.

Cut to a couple sitting at a table being waited on by none other than FREE 
SAMPLE BARRY.

BARRY
Okay, you ordered the rhinestone cowboy burger, and you ordered the...

He notices DAVE and MARIE sitting at a table.

Son of a bitch, record store clerk!!!

BARRY drops the food all over the couple and runs off, cut to DAVE and MARIE at 
the table.


MARIE
I gotta give you this, you are defiantly the most unique date I've ever had.

DAVE
So I take it that means I'm doing good so far?

MARIE
Hmm, wait till we get to the sex part, then I'll let you know.

DAVE
Wow, I guess the old tacky theme restaurant thing really works after all, damn I 
am too good.

MARIE
(laughing)
Dave, I like you, I really do, you make me feel good, whenever I'm with you It's 
like nothing can bother or hurt me, you make me feel safe.

DAVE
I mean yeah, what other guy can give you all this, roller skating, Culture Club 
sandwich....

MARIE
That warm queasy feeling in your stomach.

And yet again folks our hero and heroine share another "moment"

INT. ROLLER RINK CHANGING ROOM

A kid is putting on his skates, all of a sudden he is pulled out of frame, BARRY 
pops us with a sinister smile and brandishing a meat hammer.

INT. DAVE AND MARIE'S TABLE

They are in the middle of a conversation, then Billy Idol's Dancing with Myself 
starts to play.

MARIE
Oh I love this song, come on lets skate.

MARIE and DAVE skate off, MANDI and company enter frame.

MANDI
Let's make this bitch sorry she ever crossed me.

They skate off, cut to MARIE and DAVE skating around the rink, DAVE is sort of 
wobbling but MARIE helps him keep his balance, the first attempt from the girls 
is from ASHLEY, she skates up closer to MARIE, but just before she swings she is 
grabbed into a train line, she tries to get loose, and when she does, she ends 
up crashing and flips over into a waiter covering her in food. Cut to BARRY 
skating into the rink, he looks around and spots DAVE and goes after him. Cut to 
JOSIE skating after MARIE, she doesn't get far because a group of skaters 
dressed as the village people skate by and grab her away, she fights but then 
sees that the Indian is kind of cute, she skates off with him. Cut to BARRY 
relentlessly skating after DAVE, he starts pushign through a crowd of people, he 
tries to get around a rather large woman dressed as Cindy Lauper.

BARRY
Move out of the way you fat...

CINDY LAUPER
Fat what?

BARRY
Uhh...

CINDY LAUPER
George!!!

BARRY looks off screen in horror, cut to a very large man dressed as Boy George 
walking towards BARRY. He towers over BARRY staring down at him. Cut back to 
MARIE and DAVE, they let go of each other and skate in different directions, 
MANDI is head towards MARIE, she gets closer and closer, but just as she's abotu 
to reach MARIE, BARRY comes flying through the rink crashing into MANDI sending 
them both over the railing, cut to them slumped ont he ground in a 69 position. 
HE throw MANDI off and jumps up.

BARRY
Die record jockey!

BARRY runs out of frame, cut to him skating furiously towards DAVE, but just as 
he is about to get close an announcement comes over the music.

ANNOUNCER
Okay all you dancing kings and queens, it's time for the limbo!

Two limbo guys bring out a large limbo stick right in front of BARRY, he crashed 
into it knocking him out. The music stops and a crowd gathers around BARRY. DAVE 
and MARIE come into frame.

MARIE
What happened?

DAVE
I don't know, but hey lets get out of here, I've got a surprise for you.

MARIE
Oh really, what kind?

DAVE
The surprising kind, now come on.

They skate off, cut to BARRY lying on the floor in the middle of a circle of 
people, the rink manager is leaning over him trying to wake him up.


MANAGER
Barry! Barry!

BARRY open his eyes.

BARRY
Die!


He hits the manager over the head with the meat hammer, the screen goes black.

EXT SHOT. OUTSIDE ST JOHN'S ARENA

We see a large building which is actually an event center.

INT. ST JOHN'S ARENA

DAVE IS holding MARIE'S eyes shut, as he guides her to a railing.

MARIE
Are we in a secluded warehouse?

DAVE
No.

MARIE
Well it's very quite and drafty is it a..

DAVE lets her see, cut to shot of a stage set up, cut back to DAVE and MARIE.

MARIE
A stage?

DAVE
In about two weeks they're having a concert for anybody who wants to come and 
give it a go. Tonight you're going to practice.

MARIE
Oh no, I can't do this.

DAVE starts to drag her away from the railing she's clinging on to.

DAVE
Yes you can, now we're going to go down there and you're going to sing and play 
your heart out, now come one.

MARIE
I can't believe this, how do you do it.

DAVE
Pat, the guy who's in charge of the show owed me a few favors.

MARIE
What did you do for him.

DAVE
Made him a mix tape that got him laid.


MARIE
Oh I see. 

Cut to MARIE on stage tuning, DAVE is sitting in the audience encouraging her.

DAVE
And now Steubenville, Ohio please welcome Marie!

Mocks audience reactions.


MARIE
What would the audience like me to sing?


DAVE
Whatever your heart tells you. Nate, lights please.

NATE(OC)
Cooter!

Lights dim, MARIE starts into WOULDN'T IT BE GOOD.

MARIE
(singing)
Wouldn't it be good to be on your side, where the grass greener over there, 
wouldn't it be good if we can wish ourselves away.

And again for the fourth time they both have another moment, let's hope DAVE 
doesn't do something stupid this time!

EXT. PLAYGROUND-NIGHT

In an overhead shot we see DAVE and MARIE laying on a Merry Go Round looking at 
stars and talking.

MARIE
Dave, can I ask you something.

DAVE
Of course.

MARIE
What do you see in me?

DAVE
Everything.

MARIE
Come on, be more specific.

DAVE
Well, for one you have an incredible personality.

MARIE
Besides that. Am I pretty?

DAVE
Do you even have to ask, you're not that typical kind of pretty though. There's 
something different in your eyes.

MARIE
What is it.

DAVE
When I look deep into your them, I see a world that I'd give anything to be a 
part of.

MARIE sits up so does DAVE.

MARIE
You don't have to, you already are.

They slowly move closer, they kiss. MARIE looks like she is about say something.

DAVE
I know, you're going to regret that.

I'M IN HEAVEN WHEN YOU KISS ME

During the song they both move around the playground randomly to a swing, slide, 
etc.


MARIE
I'm in heaven when you kiss me
show me how you miss me
take me with you back to wonder land
I'm in heaven when you kiss me
show me how you miss me
take me with you back to wonder land

you capture me with a stare
I'd follow you anywhere
you lead me into temptation
condition me to enjoy
I'm like a kid with a toy
I'm losing my concentration
one kiss from you I'm on fire
you're touch is all I desire
you know I couldn't resist
yeah I miss every time I'm with you
every time that we kiss

MARIE
I'm in heaven when you kiss me
heaven when you kiss me
you were sent to me from wonderland
I'm in heaven when you kiss me
heaven when you kiss me
you were sent to me from wonderland
I go crazy when you kiss me
show me how you miss me
take me with you back to wonderland
you know I couldn't resist
yeah I miss every time I'm with you
every time that we kiss

DAVE
I dream of you every night
feels like I'm losing my mind
this feeling's just getting stronger
my head is spinning around
you play with me but I'm bound
I can't resist any longer

MARIE
one kiss from you I'm on fire
you're touch is all I desire
one look and you take me higher
you know I couldn't resist
yeah I miss every time I'm with you
every time that we kiss

I'm in heaven when you kiss me
heaven when you kiss me
you were sent to me from wonderland
I'm in heaven when you kiss me
heaven when you kiss me
you were sent to me from wonderland
I go crazy when you kiss me
show me how you miss me
take me with you back to wonderland
you know I couldn't resist
yeah I miss every time I'm with you
every time that we kiss

DAVE
you know that I'm hypnotized 
each time I look in your eyes
you know I couldn't disguise
and I couldn't resist every time that we kiss

MARIE
I'm in heaven when you kiss me
heaven when you kiss me
you were sent to me from wonderland
oh it's heaven when you kiss me
heaven when you kiss me
you were sent to me from wonderland
I go crazy when you kiss me
baby don't resist me
take me with you back to wonderland
you know that I'm hypnotized
by your eyes
and I just can't resist every time that we kiss


They end up on a picnic table silhouetted by the moonlight.

DATING MONTAGE

This is a musical montage spanning over a week and a half of DAVE and MARIE 
dating. Basically it shows that things are going rather well between the two. We 
see BEN, DAVE, and MARIE messing around in TRAX, hanging up flyers for the 
concert, MARIE and BRI talking, DAVE and MARIE watching a movie in theater's 
trying to get comfortable but laughing at the failed attempts. Various shots of 
BEN instructing DAVE in sex ed with a mannequin, such as BEN putting the 
mannequin in a missionary position, trying to adjust it's leg, but results in it 
coming off. And all those other sweet things crazy kids do. It ends with DAVE 
kissing MARIE goodnight in front of her house, they part, camera follows MARIE 
to her front door, but as she approaches MANDI, ASHLEY, and JOSIE confront her.

MANDI
Hi Mary!

MARIE
MARIE....

MANDI
Like it matters, listen I have a little bit of a problem.

MARIE
I think some vagisel will clear that right up.

ASHLEY
Bitch!

MANDI
You are a spunky little thing aren't you, there's no need to be so hostile, we 
come in peace.

MARIE waits for a explanation.


MANDI
I have a friend of mine who is just downright miserable because he realized how 
much a certain person means to him, and he needs them back desperately.

ETHAN enters from behind a bush.

MARIE
Ethan?

ETHAN trying to be sincere gets down on one knee, he is obviously reciting lines 
MANDI gave to him.

ETHAN
Marie, I've been thinking lately and I have come to realize that i am a fool. 

He starts to get a little teary.

ETHAN
Things aren't the same without the bright light you....

He looks at notes his hand for what to say next.

ETHAN
Emanate.

Cut to a head shot of MARIE looking scared and confused.

INT. BEN'S ROOM THE NEXT DAY-NIGHT

BEN, DAVE, and JON are playing Goldeneye. BRI lies at the foot of the bed 
reading a pretzels baker magazine, completely uninterested in the game. Ben sits 
in a daze, concentrating on the game.

DAVE
SO are you guys coming to the concert Saturday.

JON
Probably, something like that only happens once every decade around here.

BRI
So I take it that you're pretty happy with the way you and Marie are going?

DAVE
Definantly, it's everything I thought it would be.

BRI
And you think that, "I'll do nothing but hurt you" talk was just her hiding her 
feeling and using some sort of defense mechanism?

DAVE
Yeah, I mean the girl is flawless.

JON
Don't say that dude, things may be going perfect one second and the next, your 
once perfect world is upside down.

The phone rings, BEN snaps out of his daze for a moment.

BEN
Hello.....um...hold on, it's for you Dave.

DAVE
Huh?

BEN
Mandi..

DAVE
Why the hell is she calling me here?

He takes the phone from him, BEN goes back to the game, making frustrated sounds 
and gestures talking to the screen.

DAVE
Hello?

Cut to Mandi crying hysterically on her cell phone outside of a restaurant.

MANDI
Dave, oh it's horrible.

DAVE
(on phone)
What is it?

MANDI
I'm having a major defcon one emergency here. Please, please, please, meet me at 
Kings.

She hangs up and smiles dastardly, cut back to BEN'S house.

JON
What's up?

DAVE
Mandi's having some sort of nervous breakdown.


BRI
Don't trust it.

DAVE
And what if she really is.

BRI
Who cares? She's the devil in carnet!

BEN throws the controller down pissed off. He catches on to the conversation

BEN
Yeah, she's evil.

DAVE
But she has been rather pleasant lately, okay I'll go and check it out real 
quick. You guys come as back up.

They get up and walk off.

INT. KINGS RESTAURANT

DAVE, BEN, BRI, and JON come into frame through the front door, the camera 
rotates around them as they walk towards the back of the restaurant.

BEN
This has bad written all over it.

DAVE
It's probably nothing serious, she might have broken a nail, or god knows what.

JON
Dave you really need to throw the whore away and forget her.

DAVE
As much I would love to, I don't want to find that she really did have a nervous 
breakdown, and drove her car into the Ohio river.

BRI
And that'd be a bad thing?

Camera creeps around a corner, MANDI, ASHLEY, JOSIE, ETHAN, and MARIE
are all sitting together, MARIE looks very uncomfortable. They all notice that 
they have been joined by DAVE and company. Cut to reactions of shock from the 
group, cut to ETHAN putting his arm around MARIE, but she tries to pull away, he 
pulls her back.

MANDI
Oh my gosh Dave, look who happened to show up!

DAVE turns around and walks off, BEN and JON follow, MARIE shortly behind. 

ETHAN
Okay Mandi, where's my money.

MANDI
Oh I'm not done with you yet, go and make sure they don't make up. If they do I 
will rip your scrotom off!

ETHAN
What a bitch.

He gets up and walks away.

EXT. KINGS PARKING LOT

DAVE is angrily pacing back and forth, BEN, BRI, and JON try their best to calm 
him down.

BRI
Maybe it's not what you think it is.

DAVE
What the hell Bri! You saw her with that asshole, he had his arm around her and 
everything!


JON
It could just be a coincidence, maybe she was just saying hi.

DAVE
I know how she feels about him, she hates the guy. She said she would never go 
back to him.

JON
Dude, all girls say that.

DAVE
What do you mean?

JON
Was he her first quote, unquote love.

DAVE nods.

BEN
No girl can ever shake the first guy they ever fell in love with.

JON
And if they do, sometime down the road he pops back up in her life unexpectedly. 
See what did I tell you, everything's upside down.

DAVE
I really thought she was real, why did this have to happen.

PRETTY GIRL(THE WAY)

BRI
pretty girl is offering
while he confesses everything
pretty soon she'll figure out 
what his intentions were about  

JON
and that's what you get for falling again
she can never get him out of her head
and that's what you get for falling again
she can never get him out of her head

BEN
it's the way
that he makes her feel
it's the way
that he kisses her
it's the way
that he make her fall in love

BRI
she's beautiful as usual
with bruises on her ego and
her killer instinct tells her to
be aware of evil men

JON
and that's what you get for falling again
she can never get him out of her head
and that's what you get for falling again
she can never get him out of her head

BEN
it's the way
that he makes her feel
it's the way
that he kisses her
it's the way
that he make her fall in love

DAVE breaks away from BEN and JON and walks away by himself.

DAVE
pretty girl 
come back to me
don't fall into a painful past
pretty soon you'll figure out
you ran from the onwho cared

it's the way
I miss your laugh
it's the way
you made me feel
it's the way
I thought you were the one
it's the way 
you talked to me
it's the way
your in my mind
it's the way
that you made me fall in love

As DAVE walks away the song ends MARIE comes out of the restaurant.

MARIE
Dave wait!

He sees her but keeps walking.

MARIE
Please stop, listen to me!

She grabs him, he shrugs her arm off and turns around.

DAVE
What?

MARIE
It's not what you think.

DAVE
I'm sure it isn't.

He starts to walk again, she stops him.

MARIE
Stop being such a bastard and listen to me.

DAVE
You know what Marie, I've been listening to people to all my life, and frankly 
I'm sick of it. I trusted you, and you lied to me.

ETHAN come running towards them.

ETHAN
Do you want me to kick his ass?

MARIE
Get out of here Ethan.

ETHAN
Cause nobody messes with my girl.

ETHAN grabs MARIE hard and kisses her, she wants to pull away, but he is holding 
her so tight he'll hurt her if she does, he lets her go. DAVE walks away, MARIE 
chases after.

MARIE
I'm not losing you like this.

DAVE
Too late, I'm not sticking around to be your shoulder to cry on whenever he gets 
tired of you.

MARIE
This isn't you.

DAVE
Really? Well say hello and goodbye to the new me.

MARIE
Dave..

DAVE
Why did I think you were different, you're no better than that two faced whore 
in there.

MARIE
What are you trying to tell me?

DAVE
Listen to your heart.

DAVE walks out of frame, MARIE stands alone, ETHAN comes into frame.

ETHAN
So can we screw?

MARIE elbows him in the stomach, he falls. She walks away.

ETHAN
(breathless)
Bitch...

EXT. A SECLUDED HILL OVERLOOKING THE TOWN

DAVE sits on the hood of the car in a fetal position, cut to MARIE walking down 
the street towards her house.



INSENSITIVE

MARIE
how do you cool your lips
after a summers kiss
how do you rid the sweat
after the body bliss
how do you turn your eyes
from a romantic glare
how do block the  sound of a voice
you'd know anywhere

oh I really should've known 
by the time you drove me home
by the vagueness in your eyes
your casual goodbyes
by the chill of your embrace
the expression on your face
told me maybe you might have some advice to give
on how to be insensitive

Cut back to DAVE.

DAVE
how do you numb your skin
after the warmest touch
how do you slow your blood
after the body rush
how do you free your soul
after you've found a friend
how do you teach your heart
to fall in love again

oh you probably won't remember me
it's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few 
that went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue  I'm out of touch
I fell too fast I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
on how to be insensitive

During music break, we cut back and forth to DAVE and MARIE, when they start to 
sing together, the screen splits with each on one side.

MARIE
oh I really should've known 
by the time you drove me home
by the vagueness in your eyes
your casual goodbyes
by the chill of your embrace
the expression on your face
told me maybe you might have some advice to give
on how to be insensitive

DAVE
oh you probably won't remember me
it's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few 
that went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue  I'm out of touch
I fell too fast I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
on how to be insensitive

The song ends, camera pushes in on both of them.

INT. TRAX-A FEW DAYS LATER-DAY

BEN is ringing up a customer, BRI enters frame.

BRI
How's he doing?

BEN
He's been in the back all day, go check on him and make sure he's alright.

Cut to DAVE sitting in a corner in the backroom, BRI enters.

BRI
Hey hun, how are you feeling?

DAVE
Three guesses.

BRI
It gets better you know.

DAVE
Stop trying to cheer me up.

BRI
You were falling for her big time, you put a little too much faith in her.



DAVE
Well maybe I thought this one time I would have a soft landing, is that such a 
crime Bri?

BRI
No it's not, but please promise me something.

DAVE
What's that?

BRI
Don't go and do something stupid to vent your frustrations like you always do.


DAVE
What like accepting my fate and getting back together with Mandi?

BRI
You didn't..

DAVE
(hostile)
I did, do you have a problem with that?

BRI
You don't need to jump down my throat, and as matter of fact, yes I do.

DAVE
What a surprise.

BRI
You piss me off Dave, you're such a wimp.

DAVE
What are you talking about?

BRI
You're crazy about Marie, and you know she feels the same about you.

DAVE
Bull..

BRI
In the little time you've known each other I've seen you happier than you've 
ever been. But apparently you don't care about that, you won't even fight to get 
her back.

DAVE
It's no use fighting for a lost cause.


BRI
You know what, I've defended you for fifteen long years David, against everyone 
who called you pathetic, a loser, a lost cause. And even though I love you 
dearly, I think they're right, and it's not because you don't fit in with the 
rest of the world. It's because you're too scared to fight for something you 
believe in, so you sit left of center from everyone else and watch your life 
wither away. 


DAVE
Thanks for being a friend and making me feel worse.

BRI
I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you, you're an idiot if you let her go like 
this. If you want to prove me and everybody else wrong, get up off your ass and 
fight for once in your life.


DAVE
Please leave.

BRI
Fine, but I'm telling you, if you don't do something to get her back, you're 
going to regret it. Me and Ben will be at the concert tonight if you change your 
mind.

DAVE
No thank you.

BRI
Okay.

BRI leaves. 


INT. ST JOHN'S ARENA-BACKSTAGE AREA

MARIE is doing her best to get ready, she tries to play a few bars of Baby now 
that I found you, but starts to lightly sob when she does. DOM walks into frame.

DOM
Hello woman.


MARIE
Shouldn't you be hating me?

DOM
Under normal circumstances yes, in this case no.

MARIE
Why no?

DOM
You're different then other females.

MARIE
Is that a complement Dom?

DOM
I don't do this very often, so I'm just going to come out and say it, you were 
the princess leia to Mystic's han solo.

DOM starts to get a little teary, he runs off, we here voices talking behind a 
curtain, it's ETHAN talking to THOMAS.

THOMAS
You made two hundred bucks for just getting back together with Marie. 

ETHAN
Yeah, it's all so Mandi can back together with the record store loser, and in 
revenge for breaking up with her or something, make his life miserable. I 
thought I can make some money, and get a piece of ass at the same time.

THOMAS
Did you?

ETHAN
You bet, I had her falling at my feet from the time she saw me.

MARIE steps out from behind the curtain, ETHAN is horrified.

THOMAS
Hey it's your girl.

Cut away, a loud crash of a guitar hitting someone in the head is heard, MARIE 
angrily walks in and out of frame, THOMAS and ETHAN are both unconscious on the 
floor.

INT. MALL

BRI is walking towards the exit until she sees JOSIE who is bragging about 
something to some of her friends. BRI hides behind a plant, cut to JOSIE.

GINA
So I here Mandi back with that record store boy.

ROSE
I thinks he's kind of cute, too bad there'll be nothing left when she's done 
with him.

JESS
She's not actually serious about him is she?

JOSIE
Hell no, she's just doing this to get back at him for humiliating her before.

ROSE
So, he was the one who ruined Mandi's break up record, good for him!

GINA
How did get him to go out with her again?

JOSIE
It wasn't easy, we had a little wannabe bitch in the way. So we paid her ex 
boyfriend Ethan to pretend that he wanted her back. That didn't work so we got 
all of them together in one place and let the pieces fall into place.

JESS
Mandi is so cruel.

JOSIE
It's so pathetic, loser boy was actually falling in love with the bitch, and sad 
thing is, so was she.


ROSE
That's so evil.

GINA
Yeah you guys are so low.

JOSIE
Whatever.

Cut back to BRI who is in shock, cut to JOSIE walking, BRI trips her and pulls 
her away by the hair. 

INT. HALL

Cut to back hallway somewhere in the mall. BRI throws JOSIE on the ground.

JOSIE
 Whore! you made me break a nail!

BRI
Listen, you're going to march into Trax, and tell Dave what you and that wench 
did to him and Marie.

JOSIE
Like hell!

BRI steps on JOSIE'S hand smashing her nails.

JOSIE
 That was an eighty five dollar manicure!

BRI
Are you going to cooperate?

JOSIE
Go back to your pretzel stand, you skank!

BRI
Okay, now you've pushed me way too far.

BRI takes out a bottle of cold cream.

JOSIE
What are you going to do with that?

INT. TRAX

DAVE, BEN, and BRI are surrounding JOSIE who is covering her face with her 
hands.

DAVE
Mandi paid Ethan to try to get back with Marie.

BRI
And she shot him down, when you saw her at King's it was just a matter of Marie 
being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

BEN
I knew something was up.

DAVE
Okay, we have to get to the concert, what time is it?

BEN
Quarter after seven.

DAVE
That gives us forty five minutes to get there before they close the doors.

BRI
What do we do with her.

Cut to JOSIE being thrown out of Trax, she is in the middle of the mall without 
any makeup on, she runs away screaming.

INT. MANDI'S ROOM

Mandi is giving her self a facial and painting her toenails, the phone rings she 
answers.


MANDI
Hello.

Cut back and forth to MANDI and JOSIE as they talk.

JOSIE
We have a major disaster, your boyfriend knows that you bribed Ethan.


MANDI
What!

JOSIE
And why you two are back together, he knows everything.

MANDI
How the hell did he find out!

JOSIE
They tortured me, that pretzel bitch threatened my reputation.


MANDI
You won't even have a name when I get through with you! Where are they now?

JOSIE
They're headed to the concert.

MANDI
Call Ashley, and tell her to call her brother and tell her to tell him I'll let 
him wash my feet if he gets about four big gorilla's to watch the front door. 

JOSIE
And what do I do?



MANDI
You be there in ten minutes or you'll never be able to show your face in public 
again.



EXT-OUTSIDE THE ARENA

DAVE, BEN, and BRI are in BEN's car, they are staring at the four "gorillas" 
guarding the front.

DAVE
Mandi.

BEN
What do we do now?

DAVE
They'll let you two go in, it's me they want, go inside and keep a look out for 
Mandi.

BRI
What are you going to do?

DAVE
Find another way in.

INT. ARENA

JON is standing by himself, BEN and BRI walk into frame.

JON
Hey guys, I take it Dave isn't coming.

BRI
Actually he is here, there was a major development an hour ago at the mall.

BEN
Yeah Dave and Marie's break up was all Mandi's doing.

JON
What happened?

BEN
It's a long story.

JON
Well anyway, where's Dave?

BRI
Those apes out there are waiting for him, he's looking for a way in from the 
back.

JON
There's security everywhere, he'll never get in.

BRI
Then we gotta help him.


BEN
No we can't, but I know who can.

Cut to DOM and NATE sweeping through the aisles and picking up trash, a random 
spectator throw trash right in front of DOM.

DOM
If I didn't feel sorry for you pathetic wastes of flesh, I would fry you right 
where you stand with a fire spell, bloody peasant.

BEN enters frame.

BEN
Guys, Dave's in trouble, he needs your help.


DOM
This is it Tunak, our calling, our moment of glory, our time in the spot light, 
our...

BEN
Just go!

DOM and NATE run off, cut to the two running into the ladies restroom. Screams 
are heard.


NATE
Cooter!

EXT. BEHIND THE ARENA

DAVE is sneaking and ducking in between parked cars.

DELIVERY BOY'S VOICE(OC)
Here's a shipment of three hundred tofu dogs, hey weirdo get them off the truck.

Cut to DAVE creeping around the truck, he quietly sneaks around the corner. He 
then runs into none other than Free Sample Barry!

BARRY
Record store clerk! We meet again!

DAVE
Sorry Barry, I would love to stay and chat.

BARRY
Let's

BARRY grabs DAVE and throws him in the back of the truck. Cut to inside truck, 
he closes the hatch door

INT. INSIDE TRUCK

DAVE
Barry, I don't have time for this!


BARRY
Oh you never have time anymore these days, no time for old friends, no time for 
free samples.

BARRY pulls a white cover off the wall, some sort of torture device is revealed. 
BARRY pulls DAVE to his feet and throws him against it locking DAVE in place.


DAVE
Can't we discuss this over a nice cup of un caffinated coffee?

BARRY
Oh I'm far beyond negotiations, I tried to keep control, I was fine actually, no 
losing the job at the mall wasn't a big deal, no not at all! I thought I had 
moved up in the world, became a waiter, a waiter who got tips cause he was good, 
but no! You had to show up and try to take away that too, fine, that's just 
fine. But you know what really got me, what just really pissed me off, is 
whenever you cracked me in the face with a big limbo stick, as if the pain I was 
already feeling wasn't enough for you! But after I lost my job there things just 
went black, all's I ever saw in my head was you, you standing there and mocking 
me and all the pain and suffering you've put me through, but now it's my turn to 
give the pain!

DAVE
Barry I don't know what I did to you, and I'm sorry if I...

BARRY
Oh spare me your fake sympathy!

BARRY takes out a knife, a rubber band, a small empty display case, and a brown 
paper bag.

DAVE
Neat stuff Barry, what's it all that for, a bug collection.

BARRY
Don't you wish. This rubber band is going to go around your balls, this knife is 
going to cut off your balls, this display case will display your balls...

DAVE
And what's in the bag?

BARRY
My lunch, torture always makes me hungry.

A knock is heard.

BARRY
Come back later I'm busy.

VOICE
COOTER!

The door flies open, it's NATE and DOM, they're dressed up in strange super hero 
costumes, they attack BARRY and knock him out, they untie DAVE.

DOM
Hello Mystic.

DAVE
How'd you guys...

DOM
You're fellow comrades told us of your quest. 

DAVE
Man I owe you guys big time.

DOM
Don't worry, you can pay us back by joining are campaign tomorrow night.

DAVE
You've got it.

DOM
Now go in there and save your princess leia!


DAVE
We have to get by the guards first.

DOM
All taken care of.

Cut to the back ramp entrance, the guards are all tied up, cut back to DAVE.

DAVE
You guys are dangerous, but I love you both.

NATE
For the Cooter!

DAVE
For the Cooter!

INT. INSIDE ARENA

MANDI, JOSIE, and ASHLEY enter frame.

MANDI
How can he not even be here?

JOSIE
He's here I know it!

JOSIE scans the crowd, she spots BRI, BEN, and JON.

ASHLEY
Look, his loser friends are here.

MANDI
Then he's already inside, oh boys.

The "gorilla's" huddle around her.

MANDI
Find my boyfriend before he finds that two dollar skank, and I'll have a reward 
for the one who brings him to me.

Cut to DAVE, DOM, and NATE atop the balcony.

DAVE
Do you see her?

DOM
Right there!

We see MARIE from a distance.

DAVE
I'm going in.

They see the "gorillas"

NATE
We've got trouble.


DOM
We'll handle them, you get to her.

CHASE MONTAGE

In this montage DAVE attempts to get to MARIE before he is caught by the 
"gorillas" The music being played by one of the bands is very fast paced to 
accompany the montage. We see DAVE being cornered by a few "gorillas" they run 
at him, he dodges as they collide with each other. NATE and DOM wrestle with a 
few, DAVE climbs onto a near by sound tower to get away for the growing horde, 
gorillas chase him trying grab him down off the tower, it looks like he's 
cornered, cut to DOM on a ledge above the tower holding a rope.

DOM
Mystic!

He throws the rope, cut to DAVE, he catches it, he looks towards the stage and 
gets ready to swing off. He jumps off the tower soaring over the crowd, he lands 
on the stage, the band stops playing. DAVE realizes he's in front of a massive 
crowd and glances around nervously. Band members STEVE and JER share confused 
looks.

DAVE
Oh shit...

STEVE
Say something dude

STEVE hands DAVE a mike

DAVE
 There's a girl here tonight that I'm in love with, and I don't think she knows 
how much I love her. And I'm not going to let her go without a fight. 

Cut to MARIE walking out from back stage in shock.

MARIE
DAVE?

DAVE
Marie, if you can hear me, this songs for you.

Cut back to DAVE, he whispers something to the band members JER and STEVE, they 
nod to him and give a thumbs up.

LIKE A PRAYER

DAVE
Life is a mystery, 
everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
And it feels like home

Cut to MANDI ordering the gorillas to get DAVE off stage, cut back to DAVE. 
During the song gorillas try to grab DAVE off stage, but the band helps him 
fight them off.

DAVE
When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing
I have no choice, I hear your voice
Feels like flying
I close my eyes, Oh God I think I'm falling
Out of the sky, I close my eyes
Heaven help me

When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

Like a child you whisper softly to me
You're in control just like a child
Now I'm dancing
It's like a dream, no end and no beginning
You're here with me, it's like a dream
Let the choir sing

DAVE, JER, and STEVE
When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

JER
Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there

STEVE
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery

DAVE
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there

DAVE, JER, AND STEVE
When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there


The crowd goes nuts, DAVE looks pretty happy with himself, Cut to MARIE running 
towards the stage MANDI and company enter and storm towards the stage to head 
her off.


MANDI
Hello bitch.

MARIE
You, I'll...

MANDI
What, kill me with your split ends?

DAVE runs up to them followed by NATE, DOM, JON, BEN, and BRI.

DAVE
Marie!

MARIE
Dave!

She tries to run to DAVE, but MANDI and the girls block her way.

MARIE
Listen, Mandi isn't dating you because she wants you back, she's trying to keep 
her reputation and make your life miserable.

MANDI
I would never do something like that Davey! I love you more than anything in the 
world, you believe me don't you?

DAVE
Actually, No! You are the most conniving, self absorbed, evil, deceitful bitch 
I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.

MANDI
Loser! boys! 

Two gorilla's grab DAVE away from MARIE.

MANDI
Face it sweets, I'm the best you've ever had.

MARIE
What's wrong, can't handle the bitter truth?

A large crowd starts to form around MANDI and MARIE.

MANDI
You, I don't even know where to begin with you.

MARIE
Well you can start by pulling my foot out of your ass after I'm done kicking it!

MANDI
That's it, I'm going to take care of you once and for all, you clearance rack 
whore!

MARIE
It may just be me, but can you come up with any better insults than whore, slut, 
or bitch you silicone inflated penis mitten? 

MANDI
Okay missy, let's finish this.

DON'T HATE ME (FEMME FATALE DUEL)

During the song MANDI and MARIE strip certain articles of clothing away until 
MANDI is down to a halter top, short skirt, and thong and MARIE a black beater 
and leather shorts, or something like that.

MANDI
don't hate me because I'm beautiful
don't hate me because I'm the best
don't hate me because I'm the champion
just love me like all the rest do

don't be jealous when you see me in my fancy clothes
sexy leather pants straight from Milan


don't be angry when I'm dancing with your boyfriend
just be happy he touched me for one night

and when
I come to your town
rolling in my golden limousine
it's only me

They circle each other, dancing in kind of a sword fighting style.

MARIE
and when
I come to your town
rolling in my golden limousine
it's only me

They each start to dance increasingly getting faster, eventually BRI slyly steps 
into the picture and clubs MANDI in the knee and sneaks off with a sinister 
smile, MANDI falls to the ground, she tries to get back up but MARIE kicks her 
further down to the ground and stands above MANDI triumphantly.

MARIE
don't hate me because I'm beautiful
don't hate me because I'm the best
don't hate me because I'm the champion
just love me like all the rest do
love me

MANDI
(crying)
Oh my god I think my legs broken, you bitch!

The gorillas drop DAVE and rush to MANDI and carry her off, JOSIE and ASHLEY 
look at each other, with their leader fallen they run away. MARIE and DAVE walk 
off, the rest of the gang are left standing by themselves. Cut to BEN staring 
off idly, TRINA walks up behind him. 

TRINA
Hey, I've got a question for you.

BEN turns around.


BEN
Oh it's you, what is it this time, wait I know. Top ten reasons why the Monkeys 
are better than the Beatles.

TRINA
Actually I was...

BEN
Well for one, The Beatles wrote their own music!

TRINA
was just wandering if you wanted to...

BEN
And who the hell has a front man that plays a tambourine?

TRINA
I wanted to ask you to go out with me sometime.

BEN
(dumbstruck)
Huh?

TRINA
Would you go out with me sometime, I mean if you don't want to that's...

BEN
I would love to.

TRINA
Really?

BEN
Just one question, what kind of music do we plan on listening to?

TRINA
Oh we'll compromise.

Cut to WALTER walking up to BRI.

WALTER
Well hello there.

BRI
Oh hi Walter.

WALTER
So, What are you doing after this?

BRI
Not going to your house.


WALTER
Yeah me either, you want to go get some food?

BRI
Food?


WALTER
Yeah that stuff you put in your mouth and chew.

BRI
Yeah I've heard of it, but what's in it for you?

WALTER
Well aside from enjoying a cheeseburger and fries, I get to have the pleasure of 
sharing a table with you.

BRI looks shocked.

BRI
All right, but afterwards we play by my rules.

They start to walk off.

WALTER
Hey I have no complaints with the woman in control. You know something, you're 
pretty hot when you're not dressed in cheese covered clothing.

She shoots him a look.


INT. ARENA LOBBY

Cut to Arena lobby, DOM and NATE walk into frame.

DOM
Love Tunak, love is something only fools pursue, not you and me. We have 
something much bigger destined.

A door flies open, two gorilla's walk in and drop MANDI on the ground, they 
leave.

MANDI
You idiots, don't leave me here like this!

DOM starts to walk to MANDI, she sees him.

MANDI
What are you looking at loser!

DOM bends down and puts his hand on her leg, a blue light emits from his hands, 
MANDI'S ankle is heeled.

MANDI
That was amazing.

DOM helps her up, they look into each others eyes, sparks fly.

DOM
Fair maiden, I've always admired your existence, I will always love you.

MANDI smiles, she jumps into his arms, they walk away. NATE stands alone, 
suddenly the doors start to open, a bright light and smoke pours in. A playboy 
bunny appears.

NATE
Cooter...

Smoke fills the frame, when it fades we see BRI, MARIE, MANDI, JOSIE, and ASHLEY 
are in a red lighted room laying on a bed in various positions dressed in 
lingerie. "Moving in Stereo" by The Cars starts to play, cut to JON walking into 
the room.

BRI
Hi Jon.

MARIE
You know how cute we always thought you were.

JON jumps on the bed, the girls start to attack him. As things start to get a 
little hot and heavy, we cut to JON in a daze, he had been day dreaming. BEN 
walks into frame with TRINA.

BEN
Jon, Jon! You okay man?

JON
Yeah, fine, great!

BEN and TRINA walk off, JON starts to walk, camera follows until we see ASHLEY 
sitting by herself. JON sits next to her, she notices him, so does JON he gets 
up and starts to walk away. ASHLEY jumps up and stops him.

ASHLEY
No you don't have to, you can sit down.

She notices something in his pocket.

ASHLEY
What's that in your pocket?

JON
A bottle of syrup, too bad I'll never get to use it.


ASHLEY
You know I've always had this fantasy of being covered head to toe in syrup and 
have somebody lick it off.

JON
I have a van.

ASHLEY pulls him away.


INT. RESTROOM

BARRY is crouched in a corner clutching his free sample tray, JOSIE walks in.

JOSIE
Ah! what are you doing in here, oh god are you okay?

She consoles him.

BARRY
All I wanted was to give my free samples to the world, or a job I can be proud 
of, was that too much to ask for?

JOSIE
Hey, is that tofu?

She eats a piece, sparks start to fly, but just then JOSIE starts to gag.

JOSIE
Oh god, how old is this stuff, that's disgusting.

BARRY
Noooooo!

Camera pulls away from above BARRY.


EXT. OUTSIDE ARENA

DAVE, MARIE, TRINA, BEN, BRI, WALTER, DOM, MANDI, NATE, and THE PLAYBOY BUNNY, 
are all paired with their significant other.

BRI
Gee, the whole crowd's back together again. I could cry.

BEN
But do you think we're ever going to see each other again?

DAVE
Are you nuts, A wop-baba-lu-bop!

ALL
wamp-bam-boom!

"We go together" starts to play, but it quickly cuts out. The whole group 
freezes looking confused.

BEN(VO)
What the hell is this?

Warp back to Trax, present day where we left DAVE, BEN, and BRI.

DAVE
I don't know how that got on there.

He fiddles with it a bit.

DAVE
There it goes.

Warp back to MARIE walking to DAVE in the backstage area.

MARIE
Hey there tenderheart.

DAVE
Marie, about what I said to you the other night....

MARIE
Dave, shut up and kiss me.

He does.

DAVE
The things I do for you.

MARIE
Tell me about it.

I GO TO EXTREMES

DAVE
call me a joker call me a fool
right at this moment I'm totally cool
clear as a crystal sharp as a knife
I feel like I'm in the prime of my life
sometimes it feels like I'm going too fast
I don't know how long this feeling will last
maybe it's only tonight

darling I don't know
why I go to extremes
too high or too low
there ain't no in-betweens
and if I stand or I fall
it's all or nothing at all
darling I don't know why I go to extremes


MARIE
sometimes I'm tired sometimes I'm shot
sometimes I don't know how much more I got
maybe I'm headed over the hill
maybe I've set up myself for the kill
tell me how much do you think you can take
until the heart in you is starting to break
sometimes it feels like it will

darling I don't know
why I go to extremes
too high or too low
there ain't no in-betweens
you can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
darling I don't know why I go to extremes

DAVE
out of the darkness into the light
leaving the scene of the crime 
either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right every time

MARIE
sometime I lie awake night after night
coming apart at the seams
eager to please 
ready to fight
why do I go to extremes

DAVE and MARIE
and if we stand or we fall
it's all or nothing at all
darling I don't know why I go to extremes
no I don't know why I go to extremes
too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens

As the song fades, the screen warps back to Trax with DAVE, BEN, and BRI around 
the counter.

BRI
Wow, that was actually pretty good Dave.

BEN
I still say you need Peter Gabriel.

DAVE
Ben! Come on lets get to work,
I put Otis Redding on there!

BEN
How can you make a mix about falling in love and not have "In your eyes" on it! 
Marie's going to dump you right on the spot I'm telling you.

DAVE
You're one to talk, I heard you made out to "Billy Jean" the other night, can 
you say pussy whipped! 

BRI
I need new friends.

As she leave the camera pulls out, BEN and DAVE continue to argue,

FADE OUT











 





 




























































 
 





 










 























































































 



























 




 




 
 












 

















 





























































































 

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