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The Minute Men
A screenplay by Josh Jenkins
FADE IN:
INT: APARTMENT-MORNING
A run-down apartment where there is trash scattered about, cracks in
the walls, and mice running around everywhere
There is a knock on the door where we here a voice of a old man
Mr. Dresden
Hey you assholes the rent is due this is the 2nd month in a row I swear
I know you guys are in there one of you lazy assholes come to the door
A guy climbs out of the closet obviously the slacker type he has to
step over two other guys and goes and answers the door
Jack
Hold on, I'm coming
Mr. Dresden
Don't tell me to hold on get
your ass to the door
The door opens and there is this old man with thick, round glasses on
and messed up white hair
Jack
Mr. Dresden I'm sorry I got fired from the Theatre, Fish just got fired
from Subway, and Guy still hasn't found a job yet
Mr. Dresden
Listen, I swear if you boys don't pay me my rent before next Friday you
have to get all your shit and get the hell out of here
Jack
Of course, Mr. Dresden I promise next week
Mr. Dresden
You better or you're out of here
Jack closes the door behind him and walks over and trips over a figure
on the ground
Fish
Hey I'm sleeping here
Jack
Now your not get your ass up we need to talk Guy you get your ass up
to
Guy
What c'mon man I'm tired
Jack
Well if we don't think of a plan to get some money then we aren't going
to have anywhere to sleep
Guy
Well, what man?
Jack
Listen we need to get some money or Mr. Dresden is going to kick us out
of here
Guy
Fuck, him man
Jack
Where are we going to sleep and live?
Guy
Man, I can't predict the future I'm not Mother Theresa
Fish
Man, what the hell does that have to do with anything Mother Theresa
wasn't a psychic
Guy
Whatever
Fish
What do you mean whatever?
Guy
Whatever man get off my back
Fish
Man I can't believe you think Mother Theresa was a psychic
Guy
Oh I'm sure they taught you that at subway university
Fish
Hey man at least I have a job
Guy
Had! Man you lazy bitch you got fired
Jack
I wish both of you guys would shut the fuck up we have to think of a
plan
Fish
I have an idea why don't we call and ask Mother Theresa
Guy
Shut up don't make me
Fish
Don't make you what
Jack
Guys shut the fuck up think of something
Guy
Don't ask Fish man to him thinking hurts
Fish
Alright that's it
Fish runs over and tackles Guy and Jack runs over and breaks them up
Jack
Will you guy's break it up we need to get some questions answered
Guy
Alright what do we need to do?
Jack
We need to think of a plan
Fish
I got it we can sell our bodies
Guy
Who would buy you ugly ass piece of shit?
Fish gets up and Jack pushes him back down
Jack
No man sit down and shut up
Guy
I got it why don't we rob a bank
Fish
Oh yeah lets do that
Jack
No man that's it
Guy
What?
Jack
That's it we rob a bank
Guy
Man your crazy we can't do that
Jack
Man, why not it's not that hard
Fish
And I'm sure you know this from experience
Jack
No man really if we planned it out good man that's so much money and it
could even get us out of this shithole
Fish
Man what if we get caught
Jack
Don't worry we won't and even if we did it wouldn't be so bad man
that's like free room and board
Guy
Man he's right that would certainly be better than what we are living
in now
Fish
Man I don't know still
Guy
C'mon Fish we can't do this without you you're the wingman
Fish
Man, do you even know what they do to guys in prison
Jack
That's just a rumor they don't really
Jack and Guy try to hide their smiles
Fish
Man, I don't know
Jack and Guy together
C'mon Fish C'mon
Fish
O.K.
Jack
Alright Guys this is it this is our ticket where on our way
Then in big letters the title flashes on the screen THE MINUTE MEN
EXT: PLAYGROUND:MORNING
Guy
Alright how is this going to go down?
Jack
Um, I think we should rob the bank on Baker Street
Fish
No, man that's beside Blimpies
Guy
Why do you care if it's beside Blimpies?
Fish
Man, I'm trying to get a job there
Guy
Oh c'mon Fish if this job works then you won't even have to have a job
Fish
Man, what if it doesn't
Jack
Don't say that it will
Jack
So that bank will do right any objections
Fish starts to raise his hand and Guy reaches over and smacks him Fish
gets up and tackles him
Jack
Guys stop it
Guy pushes Fish off of him
Guy
Get off me Fish
Fish
Don't make fun of me just because I'm skilled in the makings of
sandwiches
Guy
Oh don't worry you just did it yourself
Jack
Guys, I swear you have to be serious
Guy and Fish Together
Okay okay sorry man
Jack
Alright guys todays is Monday I say we plan this thing for Friday at
the end of the day when banks are closing no one will be there man its
perfect listen we get there at the end of the day
Jack imagination takes him to his own dream Where he shows Him, Guy,
and Fish inside the bank
Jack
Okay here is how I think its going to go down the banks close at 4:00.
Well then we go to the door then we tell the tellers there that we
forgot something inside when we were there earlier. When she opens the door
we pull the gun on her
Fish brings him out of his dream sequence
Fish
Wait man gun you never said anything about guns
Guy
Well, what are we supposed to rob it with subway sandwiches
Fish
Hey, shut the hell up I'm serious man what are we going to use I'm not
carrying a gun
Jack
Listen, Fish let me finish my plan before you put it down okay?
Fish
Ok, go ahead
Jack goes back in to his dream
Jack
Well, we go inside we go and get the money and run out and that's it
Guy
See simple as that
Jack
See is that not Fucking unbelievably simple
Guy
I like it I think it will work man
Fish
Guys you still haven't answered my question where do we get guns we
don't have any money and......
Jack
Fish, Fish leave that up to me
Jack has a very big smile on his face
EXT: TOY STORE: DAY
Fish
Man, are you crazy
Jack
Listen, just follow me
The guys all walk into a toy store
INT: INSIDE OF THE TOY STORE
All of the guys walk into the toy gun section and Jack picks up two toy
water guns
Fish
Man, no ones going to believe us with those guns
Jack
Why not
Fish
They're pink and green
The guns are toys and are pink and green
Jack
Man we can spray paint them black
Guy
Yeah its perfect
Guy picks up one
FADE OUT:
INT: THE APARTMENT-DAY
Jack
Ok guys I have taken time to officially right down the plan here is
what I got ok just like before I go in and accidentally leave something
there then I come back then Fish you wait outside in the car then me and
guy go inside guy watches the door and then I go into the bank and get
the money it's that simple and I think that it will work
Guy
Works for me
Fish
I don't know guys
Guy
Fish, if you don't shut up I swear
Fish
Swear what bring it on bitch
Jack
Guys, I swear if I have to break up another fight
Guy
Yeah, Fish calm down
Fish
Guy....
Jack
Ok, guys lets get some sleep
All of the guys lay down for a long sleep
FADE OUT
INT: APARTMENT-MORNING
Jack wakes up and walks over to you the fridge and pulls out a gallon
of milk and while taking a sip the camera zooms in on the expiration
date and it says the date 2 weeks ago. Jack takes one sip and spits it out
Jack
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
Jack then takes the carton and throws it and it hits Fish in the face
who is layed up against the side of a wall
Fish
What the hell did you do that for DICK!!!!!!!
He then picks it up and proceeds to throw it back at Jack but it falls
short and then hits Guy who is sleeping on the floor
Guy
OWW ass that's it
He then gets up and runs over to Fish and they start fighting
Jack
Shit, Guy sorry he was aiming for me
Guy
Ah, sorry Fish
Fish then proceeds to push him off
Fish
Yeah man I'm sorry to
Jack then looks through the fridge which is empty
Jack
Man we never have anything to eat and then when we do when we get
around to eating it goes bad I'm going down to Burger King is Chad working
Fish
Its Tuesday yeah I think so
Jack
Good, I'm hungry
Guy
Get Me and Fish some food too
Jack
Okay
Jack then walks out the door and slams it behind him then part of the
ceiling and some down and hits Fish who was just beginning to fall back
asleep
FADE OUT:
Jack whose walking into Burger King he then walks up to the person
behind the counter
Jack
Is Chad here
Cashier
Yeah, sure hold on a second
Chad then comes out to the front
Chad
Jack-Ass whats up asshole
They do a handshake
Jack
Man, shut the fuck up about that stupid nickname
Chad
So, whats up man
Jack
Man I'm starving can I get some food
Chad
Let me guess you cheap bastard you want it for free
Jack
I was hoping
Chad
Yeah that's cool man I can only give you whats left over from the
morning shift Is that ok
Jack
Yeah man whatever
All of a sudden through the door walks this radiantly beautiful woman.
The kind of woman that makes a man want to change everything about his
life
She then walks behind a counter Jacks mouth is hanging still when Chad
walks up with the bags
Jack
Man who is that
Chad
Yeah man she's fine isn't she that's Kate she new
Jack
C'mon man introduce me
Chad
Alright, come with me
Chad then walks over to the girl with Jack
Chad
Kate
Kate
Hey Chad what's up
Chad
Kate this is my friend Jack, Jack this is Kate
Kate
Hi, Jack nice to meet you
Jack still staring at this girl mesmerized by the beauty then Chad
nudges him
Jack
Oh, hi nice to meet you
Jack just stares
Kate
Hello.
Kate then waves her hand in front of Jacks face
Jack
Oh, sorry um kate nice to meet you I was wondering if maybe tomorrow
your day wasn't filled up
Kate
why
Jack
Well I was wondering maybe if you wanted to hang out I don't know go
for a walk
Kate
Um, sure I guess just meet me here at 6 okay
Jack
Yeah sure that's fine
Jack still staring in amazement at this girl is all of a suddenly
slapped by Chad
Chad
Wake up bitch you might want to go before that food gets cold
Jack
Bye Kate see you at 6 right
Kate
Yeah 6 bye Jack
Jack then turns around and walks right into the door Kate then holds
her hand on her mouth with a look of amazement
Kate
Oh my god are you ok
Chad
Hey watch out theirs a door there
Jack
Oh yeah bye
Jack then walks out the door Kate then turns around to Chad
Kate
Is he a pretty cool guy right nothing wrong with him I didn't want to
be mean or anything
Chad
No, man Jack is a really cool guy
Kate
Good I mean hes real cute and everything he just might get lucky
tonight (Smiling)
Chad
Slut
The camera then fades out and back into the apartment where Guy is
tickling Fishes ear with a feather and he had shaving cream all over his
face and Guy is laughing Jack then walks into the apartment shuts he door
which wakes Fish up and he touches his face and he sees Guy laughing
Fish
Guy you asshole
He then jumps up and tackles Guy and they start fighting and Jack just
sits at the table staring the guys look up at Jack and he is just
sitting at the table this amazes then because he isnt trying to break up
there fight they get up and walk over to him Fish picks up a sandwich out
of the bag
Guy
Jack whats up with you
Jack
Nothing why
Guy
Okay Fish and I have been getting into fights for years and this is the
first time that you haven't tried to break us up what's up man
Jack
I'm in love
Fish
What???
Jack
I'm in love man
Guy
With who
Jack
This girl who works at Burger King with Chad
Fish
Man you can't be in love
Jack
(still mezmorized) why not man I am
Guy
Man just try and keep your mind on the job
Jack
Hey man I still my mind has always been on the job
Guy
Good
Jack
Fish I have a favor to ask you
Fish
(with food still in his mouth) what??
Jack
I need to borrow your car tommorrow night
Fish
No way man
Jack
Why not man I brought you food
Fish
Man that's mine you can't borrow it
Jack
Alright fish this is it no more favors I'll remember that next time
Fish
Alright man shut up here I swear if I get it back in any different
condition
Guy
You mean if you make it look better than it does now
Fish
What???
Guy
Fish your car is a piece of shit
Fish then gets up and tackles Guy and they start fighting Jack then
runs over and pulls them apart
Guy
(smiling) that's the Jack we all know and love
INT: Jack getting in Fishes car which is a Black Volkswagon Beetle a
real piece of crap he gets in the car and smells his arm pit and then
drives to Burger King
EXT: he then gets out of the car and walks into Burger King where he
sees kate standing there
Jack
Hey
Kate
Hey Jack
Jack
Are you ready
Kate
Where are we going
Jack
That's a surprise
EXT: Outside of a Movie Theatre
Kate
Why are we here
Jack
This is where I used to work
Kate
You used to work here
Jack
Yeah why is that a surprise
Kate
I don't know anyways why are we here
Jack
Listen this is what I call people watching
Kate
People Watching?
Jack
Yeah you can always tell what kind of a person someone is by the movie
they watch also peoples moods always change when they get out of a
movie they could be in a good mood and come out of a terrible movie and
feel like shit or they could be in a bad mood and come out of a good mood
and feel great like for instance look at that old man over there
(points at a old man buying his ticket) like this guy he looks pissed
off doesn't he but I bet you that he's going to see a comedy to cheer
him up
Kate
But what if he's going to see a drama
Jack
That's an impossibility no one that's in a bad mood is going to see a
serious movie
Kate
How do you know
Jack
Watch excuse me sir (yells at the guy when she walks by)
Old Guy
What?
Jack
Well sir what are you going to go and see a comedy or a drama
Old Guy
None of your Fucking business Asshole (Guy is all pissed off and walks
away)
Jack
Sir, excuse me sir
Old Guy
What asshole
Jack
Its just a simple question Comedy or Drama?
Old Guy
Comedy now leave me alone asshole
Jack
See now I told you (walks back over and sits down beside kate)
Kate
Well I don't think his attitude is going to change after the movie
Jack
Believe me I used to work here it will
Kate
Did you get fired or did you quit
Jack
I got fired
Kate
Why
Jack
Alright listen one time there was this asshole customer pissing me off
I don't know if it was me or them but he asked me for more butter on
his popcorn so I put more butter on there well then he asked me for more
so I put more then he said just a little bit more so I spit in his
popcorn he saw me went and told my manager and that was that
The camera then zooms out on the two of them talking then it zooms back
in
Jack
Well see that's that and that's how you come to the movies and not have
to spend a fortune and get some entertainment
Kate
Well you have definitely changed my views
All of a sudden the old guy walks out of the movie and walks by Jack
and Kate
Old Guy
Hey I'm sorry about before I was just in a very bad mood
Jack
Hey no problem
They both laugh the camera zooms out
INT: APARTMENT-NIGHT
Guy
I swear Jack better not lose his head over this girl
Fish
Yeah really
Jacks walks in the door
Guy
Have a nice time Casanova
Jack
As a matter of fact I did and guys I've did some thinking and I don't
think we should do this whole robbery thing
Guy
See I fucking new it man your not fucking us over for this bitch
Jack
Hey don't call her that man I'm just saying we shouldn't waste our life
over this we should just get
Guy
Man no way we planned this thing and were going through with it if you
don't want to then get the fuck out of here me and Fish will do this by
ourself
Jack
Whatever man just throw your life away
Fish
C'mon Jack I've been thinking and this could actually work
Jack
No man it won't Fish get out of this please both of you
Fish
Sorry Jack I'm saying
Guy
You just get the fuck out we will do this by ourselves
Jack slams the door
Fish and Guy just sit there amazed
Guy
What an ass we will show him when we have money and he doesn't
EXT: Jack walking down the street with Bright Eyes ''False
Advertising'' playing he is torn between the fact that he wants to help his friends
but he has a girl that he loves also he ends up at the end of a street
which is a apartment he walks in
INT: apartment: walking down the hall
Jack
(walking down the hall and to a door and knocking) Carl are you in
there hey Carl this is Jack
a old guy walks to the door and opens it
Carl
Hey you Jackass get in here
Jacks walks in his apartment
INT: Carls Apartment-NIGHT
Carls Apartment had old vaudeville pictures all over the wall and cases
of books
Carl
So what do you want Jack it's been awhile since I have seen you around
here
Jack
Yeah well carl I've been kind of busy
Carl
Oh to busy to come see you best old friend
Jack
Sorry Carl
Carl
Hey its ok So whats up
Jack
Well I have a problem
Carl
And what would that be
Jack
Well carl ok me,Guy, and Fish had this little plan to rob a bank
Carl
A bank why
Jack
We are tired of being broke anyway Carl see Carl I really wanted to do
this I really did but I met this girl
Carl
A girl isnt that where it always starts
Jack
Well what do you mean
Carl
Well I mean ok you guys have grown up with each other for your whole
lives and then you meet this girl and your not such good friends anymore
Jack
See Jack this girl is like everything that I have dreamed of my whole
life and I just think that this thing is going to go bad
Carl
See jack the thing that you have to worry about is letting this go to
your head if you don't really want to do this then don't do it but if
you do then do just remember that this will effect your outcome of the
future
Jakc nods his heads and it fades out to Fish and Guy in the apartment
INT: The guys apartment
Guy
Ok Fish lets go over this one more time
Fish
Ok
Guy
Ok what do you do
Fish
I walk in a pull the gun up and say give me your money bitch and then I
take then money and run
Guy
No you Asshole
Fish
What I thought that would work
Guy
No Ass listen if you do that then they are just going to laugh at you
Fish
Ok then whats your plan genius
Guy
Listen dumbass we are doing everything the opposite of what are
ex-bestfriend said
Where not going in on Friday anymore were going in on Saturday
Fish
Guy the banks are closed on Saturday
Guy
(puzzled) well then Friday still
Fish
Alright
Guy
Well then that's what we will do
Fish
Man we are not ready
Guy
Your ready I'm ready we are going to do this
Fish
No I'm not
Guy
Yes you are
Fish
Yes I am
Guy and Fish Together
We are ready We are Ready We are Ready
Guy
YEAH!!!! (he then gets so excited he hits Fish on the side of the head)
Fish
Owww that hurt Ass ( he then tackles Guy)
The camera then fades out onto Jack who is on a pay phone he gets her
answer machine
Jack (on the phone)
Kate, hey kate this is jack and this isnt easy to say
The camera fades away the next day on Fish and Guy driving into the
bank parking lot
Fish
Ok lets do this
Guy
I'm not ready
Fish
Oh c'mon man you wanted to do this shit more than I do
Guy
Man your right lets do this. Give me the gun
Fish
Alright now were talking (he hands him one of the guns)
Guy sees the gun and realizes they forgot to paint them
Guy
You ass you forgot to spray paint the guns
Fish
Man I thought you were going to
Guy
Ok this is no problem we can just put it in our jacket pockets
Fish
Yeah good idea
Guy
Alright put on your mask
Fish puts on his mask and there are no holes
Guy
You asshole where are your holes
Fish
Man I dident want to mess my toboggan up
Guy
Ah shit man give me the toboggan
Fish
No man it's new
Guy
Give it to me (rips it off Fishes head) Man trust me you will thank me
when we're not in jail
Guy takes out scissors and cuts to eyes holes and gives it back to fish
Fish
Oh man
Guy
Ok shut up lets do this
Fish
Yeah
All of a sudden someone yells behind Fish
Guy behind them
All right freeze your arrested
Fish
Oh shit we dident do anything
They turn around and realize that its Jack
Fish
Ah shit man what are you doing here
Jack
I did some thinking and realized that I'm going to do this Kate or no
Kate and that you guys are more important
Guy
Really
Jack
Yeah man
Guy
All right man ready to do this just one problem the guns werent painted
but we are keeping them in our jackets
Jack
Sounds good man lets go to work
Fish
Am I still the getaway driver
Jack
Actually I got another one
Fish
Who?
The guys turn around and kates there
Guy
Jack
Jack
Hey man don't worry listen we needed one more and this is it
Guy
Hey your right
Jack
So what was I saying
Fish
Lets go to work
The three of them walk in slow motion up to the bank like the scene in
Reservoir Dogs they reach the bank entrance
Jack
All right you guys here we go, go and hide right here on the side
Jack then knocks on the window and a woman comes to the door
Woman
Hello can I help you opening the door slightly
Jack
Yes m'am I left my check stub in here earlier I need it for work I was
wondering if I could check right quick to see if its still there I need
to show my wife
Woman
Yeah sure no problem
Guy and Fish put there masks on Jack dosent have one because the woman
has already seen his face he just wears the sunglasses that he had on
Jack and the guys walk in the woman turns around
Jack
Alright ma'am we are only going to ask this once just give us the money
behind the counter and we will be on our way
Old Woman
So I guess you dident lose your stub
Jack
Um........no
Old Woman
Ok hold on
Jack
Ok heres a bag throw the money in there (throws the bag to her)
The woman disappears to the back
Old woman
Ok here you go (woman throws the bag to them)
Jack
All right nice doing business with you
Old woman
No problem
All of a sudden he hears sirens in the distance
Guy
h shit she must of hit some alarm
Jack
Dammit why did you do that (he pulls out his gun forgetting that its
not spray painted)
Old Woman
Holy shit your guns not real what a loser
Jack then squirts water into her eyes
Old Woman
Asshole
Fish
Lets get the hell outta here
All of the guys run out and jump in the car
Kate
What happened
Jack
Lets go
They speed out of the parking lot just as the cops pull in
INT: Apartment
All of the them run into the apartment with the bag
Guy
All right open it lets see that cash
Fish
I was thinking the same thing
Jack
Here we go
The camera zooms in on the bag they open it and its just a bunch of
papers
Fish
Oh man she accidently put paper in there instead of the money
All three give him this evil look
Fish
What?
Jack
Wait a second ( Jacks pulls out a 500 dollar bill from the bag)she must
have accidently thrown this in here with the flyers
Guy
Hey its better than nothing
Fish
Yeah
Kate
Well what are you guys going to do with it
Jack
Guys what are we going to do with it its all ours
Guy
We should do something fancy with it
All of a sudden theres a knock at the door
Mr.Dresden
Hey are you assholes in there
Jack,Guy,Fish
Shit
FADES OUT
The End
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