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THE LUNCHROOM Episode Thirteen "Heart's Place" Written by Bruce Snyder Created by Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Vincent Biga STORY EDITOR Melinda Waterman CONSULTING PRODUCER Edward Drogos CONSULTING PRODUCER Max Majernik CAST LIST Will Cooper................................. Joel Mayberry............................... Brian Vandele............................... Brock Warner................................ Reicther.................................... Casey Jennings.............................. Chris Hughes................................ Stacy Cifaretto............................. Mr. John Parker............................. GUEST CAST LIST Dave Attanasio.............................. Kate Davidson............................... Coach Chase................................. Cathy....................................... Ryan........................................ Marilyn..................................... Copyright © Bruce Snyder TEASER FADE IN: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATE AFTERNOON Will is by his locker, drinking a bottle of soda. Nearby is the JANITOR. Will is walking away when it opens up and spills everywhere onto the carpet. WILL Ooops. Janitor gives him a look. WILL Oh man. I'm really, really sorry. JANITOR You know we just cleaned that carpet last week. WILL I'm so sorry. Beat. WILL Well...there's always a plus side. Janitor continues to give him the look. WILL You get some overtime money for doing it. Janitor continues with the look. WILL You know, I should probably just leave... Will begins to slowly leave. He turns and slips in the hallway. The Janitor walks over. He reaches down and pull up a "Wet Floor" sign. Janitor smiles. OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the credits. AFTER CREDITS: INT. HALLWAY - DAY The halls are mostly empty. Chris and Casey walk and talk, while heading toward the gym. CASEY Kate Davison? The name sounds familiar. CHRIS She's this small girl. Black hair, sorta looks sad. CASEY Oh! Now I know her. (beat) How long you've been dating her? CHRIS Almost two weeks. CASEY Wow. CHRIS But you know...she revealed something to me. CASEY Personal? CHRIS (slight chuckle) Understatement of the fucking century. CASEY What was it? CHRIS On the night we decided to make something out of our nice little conversations, we were both high on this feeling. It was this weird feeling you get in your gut when you get near a girl? Know what I'm talking about? CASEY I do get a feeling in my stomach like that. But that's because I have a bleeding ulcer. CHRIS Well this feeling, I guess, made us a bit stupid. Because we starting saying deep personal shit. You know, she says something personal about her family, then I rely with talk about life in England. Well we were going back and forth, and she mentions how she use to be suicidal. CASEY Really? CHRIS Yeah. CASEY What kind was she? CHRIS Whadda' mean what kind? CASEY I mean was she one of these girls who actually tired to kill herself by like, trying to slit her wrists. Or was she a girl who was just really depressed and hated life and tried to overdose on Tylenol? CHRIS The first one. I saw some scars on her wrist. CASEY But she's okay now, right? Slight pause. CHRIS ...So far. They stop at the gym doors and enter. INT. GYM - CONTINUOUS Chris and Casey enter. There are students scattered all around the gym, playing various games like volleyball and basketball. CHRIS What do we need again? CASEY The study guide for the golf test. They walk up the gym office and knock on the door. After a few seconds COACH CHASE pops his head out. CHASE Oh. You guys need the guide, right? CASEY Yeah. CHRIS (off students) Look at all the sorry son of a bitches playing sports. CASEY Makes you glad we passed the class and never have to step in here again. CHRIS Ha! What do you think we're doing right now. Chris looks up. On the second floor we can see Joel and Cathy playing a game of shuffle board. CHRIS Joel still takes gym? CASEY Guess so. CHRIS Wow. Who's the girl? CASEY Cathy. CHRIS Cathy. As in Cathy Phenis? CASEY Yep. CHRIS Brian's Cathy? CASEY Correctdomondo. They continue to watch. Casey seems suspicious. CHRIS I didn't know Joel was friends with her. CASEY Hell, I would think a girl like that wouldn't be friends with people like us at all. CHRIS Hey...You don't think...Joel likes Cathy, do you? CASEY As Doc Brown put it in "Back to the Future"...Anything is possible. They continue to watch. Joel says something that makes Cathy laugh. CUT TO: INT. DRAWING CLASS - MINUTES LATER The class is fairly small with about twelve or so people. It's fairly quietly, with some light conversation going on. Sitting near the back is Brian and Brock. BRIAN What's that your drawing? BROCK Something. BRIAN What is it? BROCK Something BRIAN Tell me. BROCK It was something. BRIAN Tell me. BROCK I told you, it was something. BRIAN At least give me a hint. BROCK Something. BRIAN Is it...naughty? BROCK Something. BRIAN Is that an automated response or something? Tell me you little bastard! BROCK Something BRIAN Tell me. BROCK Something BRIAN Tell me. BROCK Something BRIAN Oh for Christ's sake will you tell me already!? Brief pause. BROCK It was something. BRIAN SAY SOMETHING OTHER THAN SOMETHING!!! BROCK Something. BRIAN Oh you little son of a bitch. Brian begins to think. BRIAN It's a picture of a girl, isn't it? Brock says nothing. BRIAN It could be Amanda...but then again, Amanda is ugly. Brock's eye twitches. He seem angry. BRIAN Or it could be that girl from that summer program...but she was a bitch. Brock's eye twitches again. BROCK Don't say the next name! BRIAN OR SARAH! That's it! But she's the worst of them all. Brock stops drawing. BROCK My deep dark obsession has gotten worse lately BRIAN How so? BROCK (sighs) Scott fucking Greenberg. BRIAN Who the hell is that? BROCK Sarah's new boyfriend. CUT TO: INT. VANDELE HOME - SAME Stacy and Dave are on the couch, making out. Stacy stops him. STACY Say, Dave. DAVE Yeah. STACY I was just thinking. I realizes we've been dating almost two weeks and I don't even know where you work. DAVE Oh...I work at the Earlham cemetery. They begin to make out again. Stacy seems a bit freaked out. She stops him. STACY Cema-what? DAVE Cemetery. He begins to kiss her, she stops him again. STACY You work at a cemetery? DAVE Six years running. STACY Um...what do you do at the cemetery? DAVE Mostly mow and trim the grass. STACY (relieved) Oh, I thou - DAVE But I also dig graves and sometimes bury bodies. STACY Bury bodies? DAVE Yep. STACY (to himself) Really picked a good one, Stacy. Dave stands and grabs Stacy's hand. DAVE C'mon. STACY Where are we going? DAVE I've got something "special" planned for us. Stacy stands, intrigued. Dave, still holding her hand, begins to lead her into the hallway. STACY Special? CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY - MINUTES LATER There is only a few people in the library. Will is sitting at one of the tables. He is reading a book, with the words "Gay Fantasia" written on it. Suddenly Chris and Casey enter. CHRIS There you are! Will looks up. Seeing them, he throws the book off to the side. WILL Hey, guys. What's up? CASEY Oh nothing much. Say, Will. WILL Yes. CASEY Does Joel like Cathy. Will sits, stunned. WILL Wh-...What? CASEY Does Joel like Cathy? WILL Doe - he...Well I would have no idea if - CHRIS Because we just saw them together in gym class. WILL Shit. You've caught me. CASEY It is true! CHRIS Holy shit! WILL Keep it the fuck down! CASEY You mean he - WILL Yeah. CHRIS Without even - WILL You bet. CASEY How man times - WILL Twice. CASEY Jesus Christ bananas. How come Joel never told us about this? WILL (sarcastically) Believe it or not he thought you guys would make a big deal out of it. CHRIS How long have you known? WILL (sighs)...three weeks. CASEY Fuck! WILL Calm down, two tons of fun. All right, listen. This is not to be told to anyone! CHRIS What about Reicther? WILL Are you kidding? First, he would probably blurt it out. Second, he'd mention it to Brian as if it's the most casual thing ever. CASEY What about Brock? WILL He's probably busy with his own problems. Besides it might be risky. He's been Brian's closest friend. Pause. CASEY My God. This is one fucked up problem. WILL Yeah. I know. CHRIS I thought Brian was over Cathy. WILL Yeah, so he says. Still, it's the principal of the matter. SWIPE TO: EXT. SCHOOL - LATER Establishing shot. The bell rings. CUT TO: INT. SHAKESHOP - MINUTES LATER Reicther enters, with his head down. REICTHER Stupid job. He walks behind the counter. REICTHER I should just quit. Get my precious free time back. Reicther's boss, RYAN, enters from the backroom. RYAN Oh, there you Reicther. REICTHER Yeah, I'm here. RYAN I want you to carefully scrape all the remaining chocolate ice cream off the freezer walls. Reicther quietly sighs. REICTHER I'll get right on it. Reicther is about to leave, but Ryan stops him. RYAN Oh, I almost forgot. Ryan reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. RYAN I know we couldn't be you last week so there's two weeks pay here. He hands it to Reicther. Reicther stares at it and then quickly opens it. REICTHER Oh my... Heavenly music begins to play. Reicther looks up, extremely happy. RYAN Oops. Ryan walks off and turns the radio off, ending the heavenly music. RYAN I always forget to turn that off. CUT TO: INT. VANDELE HOME - STACY'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER The room is lightly lit. We can see someone under the covers, moving around. The bathroom door is open, and we can see Dave looking into the mirror. He slowly looks over into the room, and notices the covers. DAVE Stacy? She doesn't answer. DAVE Stacy? STACY Yeah. DAVE What are you doing? STACY Getting naked. DAVE Why are you doing it under the covers? STACY Because I'm cautious about my naked body. DAVE Oh. After a few more seconds of rumbling, Stacy pops her head out. STACY Okay. Now I'm ready. DAVE Um...where is-um,...the, you know... STACY Oh, drawer. Dave opens the drawer. He pulls out a condom. DAVE Got it. Dave gets into bed next to Stacy. They look at each other. He quickly takes off his shirt. Then under the blanket Dave takes off his pants. He opens the condom. STACY Wait! DAVE What? STACY You have to check it. Dave seems confused. DAVE What for? To make sure it's ripe or something? STACY For holes. These things could have holes. DAVE Holes? STACY These things are only like 60% protective. DAVE Hey, you think I should wear two? That way it's 120% protective. STACY Dave...that's basically like wrapping a rubber band around your dick. Dave holds the condom up to the lamp. STACY How's it look? DAVE Hole free. I guess. STACY All right. Put it on. Dave reaches below frame. He tries to put it on. DAVE Hey, it glows in the dark. Stacy looks. STACY That's a really bright green. SWIPE TO: INT. SIDEWALK - SAME Will, Joel, Casey, and Chris are walking home form school. Joel is a few steps ahead of everyone. Chris and Casey are looking at Joel in a weird way. JOEL Hey, Casey. We finished up the Geography cross word puzzle, right? CASEY Oh yeah, yeah. At the end of the period. Will signals Chris to talk to Joel. As Chris starts to talk to him, Will leans into Casey and whispers. WILL What the hell is up with this "piano" routine you and Chris are pulling? CASEY I can't think of anything to say. All I can think about is Joel and Cathy. Will sighs. WILL Fine. I think I know how to tell him you know. Will catches up and walks besides Joel. WILL Hey, Joel. JOEL What? WILL I've got a joke for you. JOEL Okay. WILL All right. They're these two female anchor women. One is a red head, one is a blonde. So anyway, it's been a rough day and they decide to take a break in the breakroom. They go in there make themselves some coffee and begin to talk. Well, anyway they have a TV in the breakroom. They look up and see that there is a news break because there's some crazy guy on top of a roof. The two anchors see this and the red head says "You know what, I think he'll jump." And the blonde says "No, he won't." The red then says "He will. You know, I'll bet you fifty dollars that he'll jump." The blonde shook her hand "Okay, your on." As just as she said that, the guy jumps. The blonde reaches into her wallet and began to look for fifty dollars. Meanwhile the red head begins to feel guilty and then confesses "You know, I can't take your money." The blonde was persistent. "No, no. You won the bet fair and square you keep the money." Then the red head said "I have to admit something. I saw this report an hour ago." And then the blonde said "Yeah, me too. I didn't think he'd jump again... (really quickly) Chris and Casey know about Cathy. Joel begins to laugh but it quickly stops. JOEL WHAT?! WILL God damn your selective hearing, Joel! JOEL You told them! WILL Well, it's not like I told them for the hell of it. They sorta walked in on it. JOEL Walked in on it? CASEY Gym. Third period. JOEL Oh shit. CASEY I never would have guessed you and Cathy liked each other. JOEL What makes you so sure? CASEY Well, let's just say I have my reasons. JOEL (to Will) YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT THE MOVIE DATE?! Casey and Chris are stunned. CASEY Actually...I was going to say I know body language really well. Joel realizes his mistake. He lets his head fall down. JOEL Oh fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Pause. Joel sighs and lifts his head up. CHRIS Do you like her? Joel nods. CHRIS Does she like you too? JOEL I'm 85% sure she does. Joel begins to pace. JOEL That's it. Brian's going to kill me. WILL Joel, he's not going to kill you. JOEL Oh, but you're selling Brian short. He's a clever guy. He could easily slit my throat and hide the body. Joel stops pacing and looks toward the sunset. JOEL I'm thirsty. Let's go over to my place, I've got drinks. Everyone nods. They all start to walk again. SWIPE TO: INT. MALL - FRONT ENTERANCE - LATER (SONG BEGINS: "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra) Reicther enters, carrying a wad of cash in his hands. He looks around. A big smile comes across his face. He runs off in a certain direction. INT. RADIO SHACK - SECONDS LATER Reicther is just pushing random items from shelves into his cart. Electric pens, tape recorders, and cameras. FADE TO: INT. FOOD COURT - LITTLE LATER Reicther slowly walks through the court. At each table he hands money to the people sitting at them. Some people looks confused, others are joyed. He does this with an idiotic grin on his face. SWIPE TO: INT. TOY STORE - LATER Reicther is sitting in an aisle, playing with a toy truck. CUT TO: INT. TOY STORE - LATER Reicther is in a different aisle, playing with a nerf gun. REICTHER Bang! Bang! Bang! CUT TO: INT. TOY STORE - LATER Reicther is in a different aisle, light saber fighting with an eight year old boy. CUT TO: EXT. MALL - LATER Reicther walks out, carrying about five bags, all filled to capacity with stuff. He seems very pleased. (SONG SLOWLY FADE OUT.) SWIPE TO: INT. STACY'S ROOM - SAME Darkness. We can hear some movement. DAVE How you doing? STACY Ow, ow, ow -- that's my - DAVE Sorry. Pause. The movement stops. STACY What happened? DAVE I...I think I became a man. Pause. STACY That was it? DAVE Pretty much. STACY But that was like...a few minutes. DAVE Trust me...we're lucky it lasted as long as it did. There is some shuffling. There is a small green light that illuminates part of Stacy's face. STACY It's still glowing? CUT TO: INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - SAME Brock sits on the couch, looking depressed. Brian is looking through his closet. BRIAN It's in here, some place. BROCK Oh, how could I be so stupid. BRIAN I think I still have two controllers. BROCK She always talked about the guy. BRIAN I probably still have the one game were you're the serial killer looking for innocent women. BROCK But I was blind sided. Brian sighs. BRIAN Look, I know your depressed. But you should just forget about her. Brock scoffs. BROCK Impossible. She'll always stick to me. BRIAN Sorta like an STD? Brock tries his hardest not to smile. BRIAN Oh, is that a smile? BROCK Oh fuck it. I still can't laugh. Not while in the mood, I'm in. BRIAN Well, here. Brian walks over, carrying a Sega Genesis. He sits it down by the TV. BRIAN Will killing the weak and innocent make you feel better? BROCK ...a little. CUT TO: INT. STACY'S ROOM - SAME Dave and Stacy are lying on the bed. DAVE So... STACY So... DAVE How was it? STACY Well...filling to say the least. Pause. DAVE Oh! I just got that. STACY What time is it? DAVE A little after six. STACY Oh shit. Where are my clothes? DAVE In the corner. STACY Could you get them for me? DAVE Why can't you get them? STACY (embarrassed) I don't want you to see me naked. DAVE You don't want me to see you naked? STACY Yeah. DAVE Even though we just got done having sex? STACY I'm just not comfortable people seeing my naked body. DAVE Oh. STACY So can you get them for me? DAVE Um...I'm not sure. STACY Why? DAVE Well I don't want you to see my... uh...my - STACY Penis? DAVE That's it. STACY But I've already seen it. DAVE Well, unfortunately it's not as big as it was a few minutes ago. STACY Oh. Pause. Both are thinking. DAVE How about I close my eyes. Stacy ponders the idea. STACY Peek and I'll castrate you. He puts a hand over his eyes. INT. JOEL'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - SAME Will, Joel, Chris, and Casey sit around the kitchen table. All drinking soda. CHRIS How long can we go on with this? WILL As long as it takes. CASEY Do you think Brian will catch on? JOEL I hope not. Pause. Everyone seems distracted. Will looks up at the clock. WILL Well, I think it's time for me to be getting home. CHRIS I think we should all be getting home. CASEY Yeah. They all slowly stand up. Will, Chris, and Casey head for the door. Will looks back and notices Joel staring at the wall, deep in thought. WILL Joel? He doesn't answer. WILL Joel! JOEL Yeah? WILL We're leaving. JOEL Okay. See you guys tomorrow. The three leave. Joel begins to stare at the wall again, deep in thought. (BEGIN MUSIC MONTAGE. Song: "Can't Find My Way Home" by Eric Clapton.) FADE TO: INT. WILL'S ROOM - NIGHT Will enters his room. He walks over to the CD player and turns it on. He takes a Marvin Gaye CD and puts it in. He hits play. He sits in the dark, staring at the wall. EXT. HOUSE - SAME Chris is at the doorstep. He knocks on the door. After a few seconds the door opens to reveal KATE DAVIDSON. KATE Oh hey, Chris. What are you doing here? CHRIS I was just walking around and thought I should drop off that CD you wanted. KATE Oh, awesome. Come in. Chris and Kate go inside. INT. CASEY'S ROOM - SAME Casey is sitting at his desk. He picks up the phone and dials some numbers. There's a pause. CASEY Hello, is Kay there? Pause. CASEY Hey, Kay. INT. VANDELE HOME - LATER Stacy enters the living room. Brian is in the kitchen. BRIAN Where the hell have you been? STACY I had to take my car into the shop and it took them three god damn hours to fix it. Pause. Stacy looks around. STACY Where's mom? BRIAN I don't know. Drinking or something. I wasn't paying close attention. He leaves the kitchen and heads down the hall with a bag of chips in his arms. She walks over to the counter and sees there's a message. She hits play. VOICE (O.S.) Hey, Stacy. It's me Marilyn - Stacy is surprised. VOICE (O.S.) - I really wanted to apologize for the other night. And to make up for it I want to take you out for dinner. (pause) Call me. Hang up. Pause. Stacy stands in silence. She looks over at the phone. She picks up and dials some numbers. STACY Hello, Marilyn? (pause) Where do you want to eat at? CUT TO: INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - SAME Brock is standing over Brian's CD player. He presses a button. Brian enters. BRIAN What the hell are you doing? BROCK I want to listen to something more uplifting then The Offspring. Brian looks down at the floor and notices a Gordon Lightfoot CD. Brian rolls his eyes and sits down. CUT TO: INT. REICTHER'S ROOM - SAME He passed on his bed. In one hand is a light saber (blue and still on and making noises.) and in the other is a tape recorder playing. The recording is of Reicther talking to himself. CUT TO: INT. JOEL'S ROOM - HOURS LATER Joel is sleeping on his bed. We ZOOM IN on him a little bit as he continues to sleep calmly. FADE OUT. END OF EPISODE
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