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THE LUNCHROOM
Episode Nine
"Shades of Gray"
Teleplay by
Max Majernik & Bruce Snyder
Story by
Alan Holman & Bruce Snyder
Created by
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Vincent Biga
STORY EDITOR
Melinda Waterman
CONSULTING PRODUCER
Edward Drogos
CONSULTING PRODUCER
Max Majernik
CAST LIST
Will Cooper........................Jamie Bell
Joel Mayberry.................Jesse Eisenberg
Brian Vandele.....................Jason Davis
Brock Warner.....................Martin Starr
Reicther...................John Francis Daley
Casey Jennings....................Kyle Sabihy
Chris Hughes......................Arjay Smith
Stacy Cifaretto................Lauren Ambrose
GUEST CAST LIST
Kate Davidson.....................Emma Watson
Dave...............................Zach Braff
Cathy.............................Brenda Song
Marilyn.......................Zooey Deschanel
Copyright © Bruce Snyder
TEASER:
INT. STUDY HALL-MORNING
Chris is alone at his desk drawing in his notebook. Kate
walks up to him and notices the picture. It's a picture
of a Clown kicking the Kool-Aid man in the ass.
KATE
You know, I hope that's some kind
of metaphor.
Chris freaks out and closes the notebook. Kate sits down
next to him.
KATE
I'm Kate by the way.
CHRIS
Oh, hi...uh, I'm Chris.
Brief pause.
CHRIS
You know, I don't think I've seen
you in here before. Are you new
here?
KATE
I started school here but then went
somewhere else for a little bit.
Now I'm back and enjoying all that
this trashy redneck ignorant school
has to offer.
CHRIS
So I'm guessing you have some
resentment towards this school too
huh?
KATE
How did you figure that out?
Chris smiles.
CHRIS
Umm, where did you go during that
time you were gone?
KATE
Oh I was having some problems at
home so they sent me to Eastern
Psyche.
CHRIS
Oh Eastern Psyche...sounds...kinky.
Kate laughs.
KATE
Oh Dammit! The bell is about to
ring. Do I have any other classes
with you?
CHRIS
None that I can think of off the
top of my head.
The bell rings and the class begins to disperse.
KATE
Meet me.
CHRIS
Already have.
KATE
Ha, ha you sarcastic twat. I mean
after school.
CHRIS
Oh. You really sure you want to do
that?
KATE
Of course.
CHRIS
You really going to be there? Your
not just going to stand me up?
KATE
I Promise.
CHRIS
Cross your heart?
KATE
Hope to die, stick a fucking needle
in my eye.
CHRIS
That sounds both painful and truthful.
KATE
(small smile)
I'll find you after school.
CHRIS
Okay.
Chris smiles and they both walk there separate ways.
Chris looks up.
CHRIS
You know, Jesus. Considering my
people horse whipped you and killed
you, you're a pretty nice guy
considering.
A nearby bulletin board falls.
CHRIS
You don't have to say it, I'm
already gone.
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:
Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the
Credits
AFTER CREDITS:
INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - AFTERNOON
The hall is mostly empty with the exception of one or
two stragglers. At his locker is, Will. Joel suddenly
pops up from around the corner.
JOEL
There you are.
Will quickly begins to walk away.
WILL
Forget it, Joel.
JOEL
Wait, Will!
WILL
It's bad enough I know. It'd be
even worse if I did this.
JOEL
Will, you've got to help me! You're
my only friend that actually knows
about her.
WILL
I never repeat myself. You know
where I stand on this Joel.
JOEL
Please, Will! I'm begging you. All
you have to do, is show up. Watch
the movie with me, Cathy, and one
of her friends and that's it.
WILL
Like I said before Joel...I never
repeat myself.
Joel is about to say something but stops.
JOEL
I know this whole Cathy thing is
really fucked up -
WILL
- No shit. Listen, I already know
how this night is going to end up.
We show up, we wait, and Cathy
arrives. I end up spending the rest
of the movie feeling like a dick
for being the third wheel.
JOEL
But really, this is just a group
activity.
WILL
Just a group activity?
JOEL
Yes. It's not a date at all. Not even a
form of a date. Just me, you, Cathy,
and her friend watching a movie.
Will thinks.
WILL
I do like movies.
JOEL
So are you in?
WILL
I'm sorry, I jus -
JOEL
Great. Pick you up at seven.
Joel walks away.
INT. LUNCHROOM - MINUTES LATER
Will, Brian, Joel, Brock, Casey, Reicther, and Chris all
sit around the lunch table, eating and talking. Just
then, Will dips his piece of chicken into the ketchup.
BROCK
You put that stuff on everything.
WILL
Well, "that stuff" makes everything
tastes better.
REICTHER
You're just full of bad habits,
aren't you? Drinking caffeine like
a mad man, putting that on every
bit of food.
WILL
Your such an honest asshole,
Reicther.
BROCK
Well, he is right. You do put that
stuff on everything.
WILL
C'mon guys, lighten up. It just
makes it better. I mean name me one
type food that's not better if you
put something on it?
Everyone begins to think about it.
CHRIS
Um...ice cream?
JOEL
Nope. You can put chocolate sauce
on it.
The group continues to think.
CASEY
(proud)
Cereal.
WILL
Are you stupid, Casey? Milk. Or
sometimes sugar. It depends on what
type of cereal.
REICTHER
I've got it.
WILL
What?
REICTHER
Cheese.
Will begins to think.
WILL
Cheese? Wait a minute that doesn't
count.
REICTHER
Why doesn't it count?
WILL
Cheese is more of a condiment. It's
something you pour on a food to
make is better.
JOEL
Wait a minute, it is a food.
WILL
No way. It's a condiment.
Will puts down his fork.
WILL
I mean you put cheese on your salad.
Cheese on your taco. Hell, even
cheese on a cracker makes the
cracker better.
BROCK
We're a bunch of fools. We're
arguing about cheese.
CHRIS
God, he's right.
Short pause as everyone goes back to eating.
SWIPE TO:
INT. LUNCHROOM - MINUTES LATER
Most of the Gang finish up their meals.
BRIAN
So what's everyone up to, tonight?
WILL
(quickly blurts
out)
Movies!
There is a thump under the table.
WILL
Ow!
Will gives a glance at Joel, who seems confused.
JOEL
What?
REICTHER
Sorry, Will. I was aiming for Casey
WHO STOLE MY CHIPS!
CASEY
They weren't yours!
Brian sighs.
BRIAN
Chris, what are you doing tonight?
CHRIS
Going out with Kate
CASEY
Kate? Who's Kate?
WILL
The name of his right hand.
The group laughs.
CHRIS
No asshole, I met her in study hall
today. She seems nice.
BRIAN
Okay then... your name is off the
list. Reicther what about you?
REICHTER
I am going to play with my father's
taser gun. Then me and Casey are
going to fight with my dad's police vest
and police helmet.
Casey smiles like an idiot.
CASEY
I'm his guinea pig.
BRIAN
Dammit. Brock, I know you have to
be free.
Brock seems offended.
BROCK
Well, not to prove you right, but I
am. Plan A through R have failed
so my night is now open.
BRIAN
Does no one want to hang out with
me anymore?
WILL
Its not that we don't like you or
anything. We just -
REICTHER
Don't like you.
Reicther smiles. There's small, scattered laughter among
the group. The bell rings and they leave. Brian sits
there a few seconds and thinks.
BRIAN
Oh yeah, well your du -, oh you
already left.
CUT TO:
INT. HUGHES HOME - AFTER SCHOOL
Chris is looking through his closet, looking for
something.
CHRIS
I need to dress to impress.
After a few seconds of looking he stops.
CHRIS
Hello, hello.
EXT. HUGHES HOUSE - MINUTES LATER
Chris slowly emerges from the house, wearing a small,
black trench coat. He looks down at his watch and begins
to run down the street.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK - MINUTES LATER
Chris is standing by the swings, pacing back and forth.
CHRIS
Where the hell is she?
KATE (O.S.)
Please don't do it!
Kate walks up behind Chris.
CHRIS
Don't do what?
KATE
Please don't kill yourself...or me
for that matter.
CHRIS
Kill myself?
KATE
Yeah.
CHRIS
You know I don't want to be rude,
but is their a particular reason
why you think I'm a suicidal?
Brief pause as Kate sizes Chris up.
KATE
The trench coat.
CHRIS
The trench coat?
She nods.
KATE
Well, I saw a thing on the news
where they said that 10% of
suicidals wear trench coats.
CHRIS
On the news?
KATE
Yeah.
CHRIS
Ever think that I fall into that
other 90%.
KATE
Not really. Considering your social
Status and the fact that I don't
know a damn thing about you.
CHRIS
I think that number is bullshit. 40%
of percentages are useless.
Pause. Kate stares into Chris's eyes.
KATE
I didn't want to ask, but what's up
with the accent?
Chris looks confused.
CHRIS
I'm from England. Didn't you know?
KATE
Oh thank god! I just thought you
made it up.
Chris seems confused.
CHRIS
Made it up?
KATE
My last boyfriend made up a
Scottish accent he used to use all
the time. Needless to say it didn't
really work out after that.
CHRIS
Oh that sucks. This swing is
making me bored.
KATE
Theirs the tire swing. We can go on
that.
She grabs his hand and they run over to the tire swing.
CHRIS
You know from the time I came to
American I've seen a lot of
different swings, but I know this
one looks dangerous.
KATE
Its not that bad. You just get in
the middle and run. Take yourself
over the bushes and then use the
tree to stop yourself.
CHRIS
Sounds too complicated for a swing
KATE
Its not trust me
She looks at him and smiles. He gets in and starts to
run to gain momentum. As he's running down he trips on a
tree root and goes hear first into he jagger bushes. You
can't see him you can only hear him falling and breaking
branches. There's nothing but silence as Kate runs over.
KATE
Chris, where are you? Are you hurt?
CHRIS
If I said I couldn't feel my left
arm, would that be a bad thing?
CUT TO:
INT. THEATRE - NIGHT
Will and Joel are waiting in their seats. Will
looks uncomfortable.
JOEL
You okay?
WILL
I'm really uncomfortable about all
this.
JOEL
I know...you feel like your
betraying Brian.
WILL
Actually, I've gotten past that.
I am uncomfortable about being a
third wheel.
JOEL
Don't worry, she'll bring someone.
Will shakes his head.
WILL
(to himself)
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
JOEL
What?
WILL
Nothing.
TIME SWIPE:
INT. THEATRE - LATER
Will and Joel are in the same spots. The theatre has
filled up a bit.
TITLE CARD: "27 Minutes Later..."
JOEL
You want some popcorn?
WILL
No...you rat bastard.
JOEL
Okay, that's enough man.
WILL
Nope. All your gonna get out of me
is mean sarcastic responses until a
fourth person walks through that
door.
JOEL
(sarcastic)
Oh your going to be such a great
icebreaker for Cathy.
WILL
Yeah, right. All I'm doing is
bitching and moanin -
(stops)
Motherfucker. You were being
sarcastic.
Joel looks at his watch and turns around. He only
sees Cathy walk through the door. She sees him and wave.
Joel puts on a fake smile and waves back.
JOEL
(to himself)
Oh, this isn't going to turn out good
for anybody.
Cathy sits down next to Joel.
CATHY
Hey Will.
Will lots stunned, he then looks over at Joel with a
disapproving look. Joel's face goes into his hand,
embarrassed.
CATHY
Joel, are you okay?
JOEL
I'm fine.
It gets black. Cathy looks forward, Joel looks over to Will.
WILL
(quietly)
Just enjoy the movie...ya bastard.
Will looks forward. Joel seems worried.
CUT TO:
INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - NIGHT
Brian and Brock are sitting in his room very bored.
BROCK
Have you figured out why your the
last one we call yet?
BRIAN
Yeah, yeah. What time is it?
BROCK
About 10:30.
BRIAN
You want to go knick-knocking?
That's fun.
BROCK
Not really.
BRIAN
Why don't you try to think of
something?
BROCK
Nah, I would rather have you do it.
BRIAN
I didn't realize how much of a
walking mat I've become for our
friends.
Brian starts to bunker down and really think.
BRIAN
Oh! We can take Stacy's car. That'll
make this night a whole hell of a
lot more exciting.
BROCK
You wouldn't.
BRIAN
I would.
BROCK
Whenever you tried to steal that
pen at the bank you broke down
crying and ending up giving it back.
This is a wee bit bigger.
BRIAN
That was a year ago, I'm a changed
Man.
BROCK
OK rebel without a clue, I'll meet
you at the car.
Brock walks out of the room.
INT. KITCHEN - SECONDS LATER
Brian enters and walks over the corner. He looks over
the key rack and takes the one labeled "Stacy." He grabs
it and quickly leaves.
CUT TO:
INT. STACY'S CAR - SECONDS LATER
Brock is in the passenger side. Brian enters the car.
BROCK
What took you so long?
BRIAN
Oh, a bit impatient are we?
BROCK
I'm sorry I just feel so superior
to you. HA-HA
BRIAN
You're a crazy son of a bitch.
They get in the car. Brian starts it up and begins to
back out of the driveway. The CAMERA PANS back to the
house.
INT. STACY'S ROOM - SAME
Stacy and Marilyn are in the bed together. Marilyn is
resting her head on Stacy's chest. Stacy seems to
panting a bit. It becomes clear that they've just finish
making love.
STACY
Jesus...
MARILYN
You okay?
STACY
Yeah, I guess I'm just not...
"broken in" yet.
MARILYN
Well, don't worry. You'll get use
to it after a few more times.
Stacy looks worried. Long Silence.
STACY
Yeah...about us having lesbian sex
again...I've been thinking long and
hard about this...and I was
thinking...I was thinking about
trying a guy out...you know it's
nothing against you or anything...
It's just like when you've been
reading "Superman" comics all your
life. Than when you're about to
graduate and you finally want to
see what this "Batman" is all about.
Then after a while of "Batman" you
kinda miss "Superman" once you
realize that "Batman" is a bit too
much for you.
She looks down and notices that Marilyn is sleeping.
STACY
Oh for Christ's sake.
Marilyn snores. Stacy shakes Marilyn a bit.
MARILYN
Wh-What?
STACY
You weren't paying attention.
MARILYN
Yes, I was. You were going on and
on about "Batman" or something.
Stacy sighs.
STACY
Marilyn...I think you should leave.
MARILYN
Wait! Stacy, I was only joking.
STACY
It's not that.
Marilyn stares and is about to say something but Stacy
grabs her hand.
MARILYN
But what if -
STACY
Please.
(kisses her hand)
Go.
Marilyn, confused, slowly gets up.
CUT TO:
EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT
The movie is letting out. Joel and Cathy are walking
together. Will is walking 4 feet behind them watching
the ground as he walks. A VAN pulls up.
CATHY
Well that's my mom. I'll be seeing
you later.
JOEL
Okay. Until next time.
Cathy smiles and gets into the van. The VAN slowly
drives away leaving Joel and Will standing there.
Long pause. Will stands there staring at Joel.
After another long pause, Joel finally turns to Will.
JOEL
Well...it's still, early. Want to
grab something to eat?
Long pause.
WILL
"Until next time."
JOEL
What are you doing man?
WILL
What are YOU doing. That's the
better question.
Joel looks confused.
JOEL
Explain.
WILL
Your a jackass for bringing me
along for the ride. Admit it you
knew no fourth person would show up.
JOEL
I honestly thought someone was
going to come.
Will gaffs.
JOEL
OK sorry, I need you here though.
When your here I'm more comfortable.
Do you know what I'm saying?
WILL
Not really.
JOEL
Do you want me to explain?
WILL
Not really.
An awkward silence.
WILL
Next time, if you want an
icebreaker. Just say so.
JOEL
All right.
WILL
Now, what don't we go see what
Brock and Brian are up to.
INT. WILL'S LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER
Will is standing by a small table, talking on the phone.
Joel is sitting on the couch watching TV.
BROCK (O.S.)
Hello?
WILL
Hey man. How's it going?
BROCK
Nothing much. Just driving around
in stolen vehicle with Brian.
WILL
You're in a car? Where are you
going?
BROCK
Nowhere. Brian took Stacy's car.
You want to get picked up?
WILL
Yeah. (laughs a bit) I have to see
this for myself. Me and Joel are at
my house. By
Will hangs up the phone and smiles.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK - NIGHT
Chris and Kate are on top of the monkey bars. Their both
laughing.
CHRIS
...so He jumps out of the supply
box and yells "SUPPLIES, SUPPLIES"
Kate starts to crack up.
CHRIS
Wow, you found that joke funny,
Amazing.
KATE
What can I say, no one says corny
jokes anymore so their hilarious to
me.
An awkward moment. Then Chris goes in for the kiss. He
kisses her for only a little bit then looks the other
way sheepishly
KATE
Good god, what took you so long?
Chris smiles and he begins to kiss her again. He guides
his hand up her arm and notices something different. He
looks down and she has many scars on her wrists. Some
even look recent.
CHRIS
What is this?
KATE
Oh remember? Eastern Psyche? It's a
place for troubled teens.
CHRIS
I'm confused.
KATE
Don't worry about it. Now come and
kiss me you cute little tart
CHRIS
Uh, sor-I'm sorry I gotta go.
Chris hurriedly gets up and walks away. Kate looks
saddened.
EXT. VANDELE HOME - SAME
Stacy comes out of the house. She slowly makes her way
toward the driveway only to see that her car is missing.
STACY
Oh what the fuck!?
Pause.
STACY
Well, Marilyn was always good with
revenge.
VOICE (O.S.)
Miss! Miss!
DAVE ATTANASIO comes running up to her.
DAVE
Thank God I found you.
Stacy begins to stare at him.
DAVE (CONT'D)
I think your car was stolen!
STACY
(still staring)
...Oh.
DAVE
It was about twenty minutes ago
when I first noticed. I was just
about to call th -
STACY
What's your name?
DAVE
Uh, well...My name is Dave. Dave
Attanasio. Anyway I think you
should really -
STACY
My name is Stacy Cifaretto.
DAVE
Uh, hi. You know the police should -
STACY
You live around here?
DAVE
Yeah, the house across the street...
Stacy do you care that your car was
stolen?
STACY
Cars are replaceable - Say, Dave
you wouldn't happen to be single
would you?
DAVE
Actually, I am. My girlfriend left
me because she didn't like sharing
an apartment with my mom.
Stacy puts on a big fake smile.
STACY
(to herself)
Better then nothing.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Chris is walking and talking to himself.
CHRIS
So she's suicidal, makes sense.
That's the only way a beautiful
girl like that would like me.
He walks further and stops
CHRIS
Oh shit, did I just make things
worse!? I just leave! What if
she kills herself! Oh god I'm a
fucking idiot.
He begins to run towards the park but stops and gathers
himself.
CHRIS
Chris just calm down. Your REALLY
over reacting right now. Just call
her later and say you ate some bad
Chinese or something.
Chris begins to walk again.
CHRIS
I wonder what the others are doing.
EXT. PHONE BOOTH - MINUTES LATER
Chris is inside, on the phone. Pause.
REICTHER (O.S.)
Hello?
CHRIS
HOY! Reicther.
REICHTER (O.S.)
AH! C'mon Chris, you know I told you
to never do that. You know your
English accent freaks me out.
CHRIS
(laughing a bit)
Sorry. What are you up to?
REICHTER (O.S.)
Me and Casey are outside of the
school right now. We really cant
talk.
CHRIS
Oh sorry, see ya
REICHTER (O.S.)
Ok, see ya Monday
Before Reicther hangs up. You can softly hear Casey say
"Hey did you remember the bating ram?". Chris hangs up
the phone and dials another.
CHRIS
What's going on?
BROCK (O.S.)
Hey, did your "secret" date end
early?
CHRIS
Yeah.
We can hear a car honk from the phone.
BROCK (O.S.)
Jesus! Watch the road Brian!
CHRIS
Where are you guys?
BROCK (O.S.)
Umm funny story, Brian took his
sister's car so now were joy riding.
Would you care to tag along?
CHRIS
I always am. I'm at the corner of
Cheery and Blue.
BROCK
Ok, see ya.
CHRIS
Bye.
Chris hangs up the phone.
(SONG BEGINS "DON'T STOP ME NOW" by QUEEN)
EXT. STREET CORNER - MINUTES LATER
Chris stands at the corner, as the car pulls up carrying
Brian, Brock, Joel, and Will.
CHRIS
Where are we going?
WILL
Doesn't really matter.
Chris squeezes in the back. The car pulls away.
FADE OUT.
(THE SONG CONTINUES OVER THE CREDITS.)
END OF EPISODE
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