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                          THE LUNCHROOM                                
                               
                           Episode Six
                          "By All Means"

                                
                           Teleplay by
                   Edward Drogos & Bruce Snyder
                                
                                
                            Story by
                          Bruce Snyder
                                
                               
                           Created by
                          Bruce Snyder
                                                                
                                                               
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Bruce Snyder
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Vincent Biga
                                
                          STORY EDITOR
                        Melinda Waterman                                

                                



                                 CAST LIST

		Will Cooper.................................
		Joel Mayberry...............................
		Brian Vandele...............................
		Brock Warner................................
		Reicther....................................
		Casey Jennings..............................
		Chris Hughes................................
		Stacy Cifaretto.............................
		Mr. John Parker.............................

 
                              GUEST CAST LIST


		Tom Laurence................................
		Marilyn.....................................  
		Aaron....................................... 
		Joe......................................... 
		Ryan........................................
		Students.................................... 
		Woman....................................... 







     Copyright © Bruce Snyder 

     TEASER

     FADE IN:

     INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING

     Will walks down the hall where he sees two people making 
     out in front of his locker.

     Will rolls his eyes and when he gets closer he sees that 
     it is TOM and his boyfriend AARON.  Will pauses for a 
     moment, then continues to his locker and stands in front 
     of them.

     Aaron looks up from his kiss to see Will looking at them.

                                AARON
                    What the hell are you looking at?

                                WILL
                    Two gay boys kissing in front of my
                    locker.

     Tom looks at where they are standing and detaches 
     himself from Aaron and moves over.

                                TOM
                       (a little embarrassed)
                    Oh, sorry about that.

                                WILL
                    No problem.

     Aaron moves out of the way as Will does his combination.

                                AARON
                             (to Tom)
                    What are you saying "you're sorry"
                    for? We didn't do anything wrong.

                                TOM
                    No, but we were blocking his locker. 
                    That's not nice.

                                AARON
                    Nice, since when do we have to be
                    nice?  Have they ever been nice to 
                    us?

                                TOM
                    Will hasn't done anything.

                                WILL
                    That's right, I haven't done 
                    anything.

                                AARON
                              (to Will)
                    You just don't understand.

                                TOM
                    Aaron, youíre really making a big 
                    deal out of this. You better clam 
                    down, sweetie.

                                WILL
                    Better listen to your boyfriend, 
                    there Aaron.

                                AARON
                    Look, just mind your business!

                                TOM
                    Aaron, stop. Come here.

     Tom pulls Aaron over and Will opens his locker and gets 
     his book.

                                AARON
                    What? I'm just defending us.

                                TOM
                    From what?

                                AARON
                    From what? Like you donít know, 
                    youíre too busy twirling around to 
                    notice the stares that we get from 
                    other people!

                                TOM
                           (now angry too)
                    Excuse me?

     Will begins to feel uncomfortable and opens his locker 
     door again and hides his head behind it, this also 
     blocks of our view of Tom and Aaronís continued 
     fighting.

                                TOM (O.C.) (CONTíD)
                    Fine!

                                AARON (O.C.)
                    Fine!

     Silence. Will closes the door again. Tom is standing 
     right there, looking upset.

                                TOM
                    He dumped me.

                                WILL
                            (feels bad)
                    Oh.

                                TOM
                    What am I going to do now?  Do you 
                    know how hard it is to find a gay 
                    student in Centerville? I mean 
                    there are more black people than 
                    gays.

                                WILL
                    You know, Iíve been waiting a long 
                    time to say this, but seeing as you 
                    broke up...he was really bad for 
                    you.

                                TOM
                    How long have you been waiting?

                                WILL
                    Seven seconds.

                                TOM
                              (sad)
                    Great. Thanks a lot.

                                WILL
                    Wait.
                        (forcing it out)
                    How about I find another guy for 
                    you.

                                TOM
                    You want to do that?

                                WILL
                    Well, not want...But if you want me 
                    to...

     Tom begins to cheer up.

                                TOM
                    Oh my god! That would be great!

                                WILL
                    Yeah, no problem.

                                TOM
                    Won't this be fun!

     Tom puts his arm around Will. Will looks around 
     making sure that no one is looking.

     OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:

     Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the 
     credits.

                                                        FADE TO:

     INT. RED JEEP - MORNING (MOVING)

     Joel is sitting in the passenger's seat, staring out the 
     window. ZACH MAYBERRY, Joel's older brother, is behind 
     the steering wheel.


                                JOEL
                    Zach...you've got help me out.

				     	ZACH
			What's your problem?

					JOEL
			Brian.

					ZACH
			What about him?

					JOEL
			Well, I think I've done something 
			really bad

     Zach begins to pay close attention.

					ZACH
			What is it?

					JOEL
			See, there's this girl -

					ZACH
			Wait! You can't be asking for love 
			advice.

     Joel seems confused.

					JOEL
			Why not?

					ZACH
			Cause I was going to ask you for love 
			advice.

					JOEL
			Really?

					ZACH
			Yes.

					JOEL
			When?

					ZACH
			I was going to wait just about the 
			time we turn around the corner.

					JOEL
			Well...what's your problem?

					ZACH
			Diane wants have sex with me for the 
			first time.

	Joel scoffs.

					JOEL
			That's it?

					ZACH
			Pretty much.

					JOEL
			I'm trying to get advice about a 
			very delicate situation. A situation 
			that is testing the bounds of my 
			morals and my friendship...and you 
			want to know about if you should get 
			a hummer or not?

					ZACH
			Wait a damn minute, it's more 
			complex then that.

					JOEL
			How? She planning to throw in a little
			humping and pumping into the mix?

					ZACH
			I'm fucking serious, Joel.

					JOEL
			I'm serious too.

					ZACH
			Okay, okay. I know how to solve this. 
			You answer my problem...then I help you 
			with yours.

     Joel shrugs.

					JOEL
			Um...okay.

     Joel sits there, thinking.

					JOEL
			Okay. My advice is...

     Joel begins to think.

					JOEL
			Girl laid in tomb may soon become 
			mummy.

     Joel smiles. Zach looks pissed off.

					JOEL
			How was that?

     Zach just shakes his head.

					ZACH
			Fuck you.

					JOEL
			Oh come on, that was gold.

					ZACH
			Fuck you.

					JOEL
			You wanna the expression dad told 
			me, involving "the way of life?"

					ZACH
			Shut the fuck up or you're 
			walking your ass the rest of the 
			way there.

     Zach sighs, while Joel softly chuckles.

					JOEL
			I thought it was good.

     Slight pause.

					JOEL
			Wait, what about my problem?

					ZACH
			I say confront him.

					JOEL
			You don't even know what the problem 
			is.

					ZACH
			Problems are just conflicts. All 
			problems have confrontations.

     Pause.

					JOEL
			God...we're shitty brothers.

										CUT TO:

     INT. LUNCHROOM - MINUTES LATER

     Will, Brian, Casey, Brock, Reicther, and Chris sit 
     around a table. Casey is finishing telling the gang why 
     he got detention. Brian is flipping through his math 
     book. Reicther has something in his hand but is looking 
     at Casey. Brock and Will are paying close attention to 
     Casey.

					BROCK
			You stooge. How could you have not known 
 			he got a new hearing aid?

					CASEY
			Anyway, in detention tonight I have to
			write this report about her.

					BRIAN
			About who?

					CASEY
			Weren't you listening?

					BRIAN
			No. That is why I asked who.

					CASEY
			Miss Virginia Wolf.

					BROCK
			Oh...isn't she that one writer?

					CASEY
			Depends on how you define that one 
			writer.

					BROCK
			The one that has the freakishly weird
			nose that killed herself?

					CASEY
			That's her. And I get to spend an hour
                writing about her.

					REICTHER
			You get detention all the time. What's 
 			the big deal?

					CASEY
			This time I actually have to do
			something productive.

     Reicther slowly begins to slouch in his chair.					

					REICTHER
			I have an even worse problem. I have a 
			job interview after school.

					BRIAN
			Where?

					REICTHER
			Nowhere.

					BRIAN
			What? Just tell us!

					REICTHER
			There is no need for you to know.

     Brock growls.

					BROCK
			        (to Brian)
			Forget about him. He's not going to 
			tell you.

					BRIAN
				    (angry)
			Fine.

     Joel walks up and sits down.

					JOEL
			Morning all.

					WILL
			Joel, do you know where I can find 
			some gay kids?

     Joel seems confused.

					JOEL
			Not off the top of my head. Why?

					WILL
			Because I have a friend whose a butt 
			pirate looking for booty.

     Chris looks confused.

					BROCK
			Butt pirate?

					REICTHER
			Gay student.

					WILL
			Tom Laurence and his boyfriend had a 
			fight in front of my locker yesterday. 
			They broke up, and my kindness got the 
			best of me when I suggested that I 
			would help him find another man.

					CASEY
			How are you going to do that?

					WILL
			No idea.

					JOEL
			Do you have any possible bachelors for 
			him?

					WILL
			Nope.

					BRIAN
			Do you know ANY gay students.

					WILL
			Besides Tom - Nope.

     The bell rings.

					JOEL
			Good luck searching, Will.

					WILL
			I have a better chance of finding a 
			black guy in a "Where's Waldo?" book 
			then finding Tom another lover.

										CUT TO:

     INT.  SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER

     The bell RINGS and all the students fill the hallways. 
     Will and Tom walk together observing the people.

					TOM
			So...do you see anyone for me yet?

					WILL
			Um, no.

     Slight pause.

					WILL
			How can you tell?

					TOM
			Tell what?

					WILL
			If a guy is gay or not?

					TOM
			Straight guys think we have some sort
			of sense about these things, but
			mainly it is hit or miss.

     They continue looking. Pause.

					WILL
			Maybe if you tell me what kind of guy
			you are looking for.

					TOM
				(thinking)
			Well, someone who is tall. But it's
			okay if there short too, but they have
			to be really cute. Kinda like Elijah
			Wood.

					WILL
			Gotcha. Frodo Baggins type.

					TOM
			I like blondes, but kind of a dirty
			color like Jude Law.

					WILL
			Alright then. Alfie type.

					TOM
			Oh, his body...

					WILL
			Wait. I don't think you have to go
			any further. (shakes his head) For a 
			gay guy you sure are picky.

     Will notices something.

					WILL
			I found the forbidden garden. The 
			Drama Club.

     Will points ahead and sees all the drama students 
     together at the end of the hall.

					TOM
			That won't work.

					WILL
			Why not? That's your promised land.

					TOM
			Already been there...not much to offer.

					WILL
				(not understanding)
			It's the theater group! ALL gay guys
			join that.

					TOM
			Will, I've already blown that lemonade
			stand before, if you know what I mean.

					WILL
				(understanding)
			Jesus titty fucking Christ. Really bad 
 			analogy, Tom

     They continue on.

					TOM
			Hey, what about that guy?

					WILL
				(looking around)
			Where?

					TOM
				(pointing)
			There.

     Tom points off in the distance.  Will focuses, and sees 
     that Tom is pointing at JORDAN JONES.

					WILL
			Wait let me make sure. You're
			pointing at -
				(points)
			- him.

					TOM
			Yeah. What's his name?

					WILL
			How can you not know who he is?		

     A thought hits Will a terrible thought.

					WILL (CONTíD)
			That's Jordan Jones!

					TOM
			Jordan Jones...That sounds nice. Is
			he gay?

					WILL
			Oh, he's queerer than folk! You would
			be perfect together.

					TOM
			He is...kinda cute. What do you
			think I should do?

					WILL
			Um, Jordan is a very open person...I
			think you would get the biggest
			reaction if you confessed your feelings
			for him...today...and then kiss him.

					TOM
			Kiss him?

					WILL
			Yeah, right on the tonsils. It would
			be sure to seal the deal.

					TOM
			I don't know.

					WILL
			Well, think about it... But I have a
			feeling my searching is over.

     Will smiles wickedly.

										CUT TO:

     INT. BOOKSTORE - SAME

     STACY is standing at a shelf. She is deeply concentrating 
     on reading the book in her hands. Suddenly a little clown 
     doll is place on her shoulder.

					VOICE (O.S.)
			The paper boat, Georgie!

     Stacy jumps and turns to see MARILYN.

					STACY
			OH JESUS!

					MARILYN
			Sorry, I couldn't resist.

					STACY
			Oh, man...Marilyn?

					MARILYN
			Yep. It's me.

					STACY
			Wow. I haven't seen you in...(thinks) 
			months.

					MARILYN
			I haven't seen much of you either. 
			Either we just don't see each other 
			much or your very successfully 
			avoiding me.

					STACY
			Well, it's just been hectic in my 
			life. I've been really focusing on my 
			graduation in the Spring.

     Pause. Marilyn realizes something.

					MARILYN
			Wait, what the hell are you doing 
			here? Isn't this a school day?

					STACY
			I've got two free periods a day now 
			that I'm a senior. What are you doing 
			here?

					MARILYN
			Well, I was depressed about how I 
			looked. So, I came here, saw all the 
			fat and ugly people and now I don't 
			feel so bad.

     Stacy smiles.

					MARILYN
			Actually, I'm looking for a book.

					STACY
			What book?

					MARILYN
			"A Buddhist's Perspective on 
			Bisexuality."

     Stacy smiles but also seems confused.

					STACY
			What the hell kind of book is that?

					MARILYN
			Interesting. You should check the 
			chapter out about "choosing a side."

					STACY
			Why are you getting a book about...
			bisexuality? I thought you were, 
			(quietly) gay.

					MARILYN
			Doesn't mean I can't enjoy a good 
			read.

     Pause.

					MARILYN
			What are you looking for?

					STACY
			Um...a big book.

					MARILYN
			What big book.

					STACY
			Any big book. When I move into my dorm 
			in college during the fall, I want my 
			roommate to think I'm an intellectual.

										CUT TO:

     INT. LUNCHROOM - DAY

     Chris and Will are waiting in the lunch line, talking.

					CHRIS
			Have you taken that stupid personality 
			test in the school paper yet?

					WILL
			I've been occupied.

					CHRIS
			With what?

					WILL
			Guilt. It's sorta my fault that these
			two people broke up and how I have to
			find a new boyfriend for one of them.

					CHRIS
			What self respecting girl would ever
			let you play matchmaker for her?

					WILL
			Thomas Laurence.

					CHRIS
			You can't set her up with him, heís
			gay.

					WILL
			Iím not setting up a girl with
			someone, Iím setting him with someone.
			And guess who heís interested in.

					CHRIS
			Who?

					WILL
			Jordan Jones.

     This shocks Chris.

					CHRIS
			Jordan Jones is the biggest bigot in
			this county.

					WILL
			I know...(smiling) isn't it funny?

					CHRIS
			Will, this is a death sentence for him.
			Do you have any idea what Jordan will
			do if he is asked out by a boy. I
			mean he has trouble looking at another
			guy, incase heíll have a homosexual
			thought.

     Will starts to regret his joke.

					WILL
			What do we do?

					CHRIS
			We have to stop him.

					WILL
			All right. Let's stop him before he does 
			something Jordan will regret the rest of 
			his life.

     They put down their lunch trays and walk out of the 
     lunchroom. They run into Brock, Reicther and Joel 
     heading in.

					REICTHER
			Where are you going?

					WILL
			Preventing gay love.

     Will and Chris leave.

					JOEL
			Oh...snap.

     Reicther and Brock ignore him and walk into the 
     lunchroom without him.

     					REICTHER
			I really don't want to go the job 
			interview.

					BROCK
			Then don't.

					REICTHER
			I have to. My mom called in, said I 
			would be there.

					BROCK
			Oh.

     Pause.

					REICTHER
			That's it? "Oh."

					BROCK
			What do you expect?

     They reach the table. Casey and Brian are all ready they, 
     eating.

					CASEY
			Why don't you give a bad interview?

					REICTHER
			How bad?

					BRIAN
			Why don't you just act like you do when 
			bored...that should annoy him.

					CASEY
			Why don't be real disgusting.

					REICTHER
			How disgusting?

					CASEY
			Well...chew gum really loud.

					BRIAN
			Repeat yourself, over and over again.

					CASEY
			Tell them you "hear" voices.

					BRIAN
			Say you have tarots and scream 
			obscenities.

					BROCK
			OR how about you tell you don't want 
			the job.

					REICTHER
			Well, if I want to go the easy way.     

										CUT TO:

     INT.  SCHOOL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

     Will and Chris are there now, they turn to see down at the 
     very end of the very long hallway, Tom in the middle of his 
     rant.

					WILL
			We're to late. There's nothing we can
			do now.

     Tom continues his speech because his back is to Will and 
     Chris and cant see them.

					TOM
			So basically what Iím saying is Iíve
			noticed you around the school and
			recently broke up with my boyfriend,
			and wanted to know, if you were
			interested, that I am interested... in
			you. And want to do this...

     Tom leans in to Jordan and kisses him on his lips. Chris 
     and Will look on, astounded.

					WILL
			Well isn't that ironic and disturbing 
			enough to be describing it to a shrink.

					CHRIS
			Yep.

					WILL
			Let's go tell him before he freaks 
			out.

     They start to walk to Jordan and Tom, who is pulling away 
     from Jordan after the kiss.

					TOM
				(smiling)
			Well.

     Jordan stands there for a moment, then all of a sudden 
     Jordan gives Tom a kiss, moving him up against the locker.

     Chris and Will stop in their tracks. Stunned, Will and 
     Chris turn around and walk the other way. In the background 
     Tom and Jordan still kiss.

					CHRIS
			Your locker is seeing a lot of action,
			Will.

					WILL
			Shut the fuck up!

										CUT TO:

     INT. BOOKSTORE - LITTLE LATER

     Stacy is walking down an aisle. She is deeply into reading 
     the book in her hands, "A Buddhist's Perspective on 
     Bisexuality."

					STACY
			My God.

					MARILYN (O.S.)
			Good ain't it.

					STACY
			Um...interesting...to say the least.

     Marilyn enters the aisle.

					STACY
			So this was a monk who was a bisexual?

					MARILYN
			He struggled for years about whether 
			he was gay or not. Then he realized, 
			that maybe it's okay to like...both. 
			Some say, he's the one who 
			revolutionized bisexuality.

					STACY
				(sarcastically)
			An honor I'm sure anyone would love to 
			have.

     Pause. Marilyn looks at Stacy.

					MARILYN
			What do you think of Friday?

					STACY
			Um...better then Thursday, not as good 
			as Saturday.

					MARILYN
			Okay, what do you think of pasta?

					STACY
			Pasta...(thinks) I like pasta.

					MARILYN
			Because, on usually on Fridays I make 
			this really nice Italian pasta. I was 
			thinking, that I could you stop by and 
			I could make a some extra for you.

					STACY
			Oh...

     Stacy is taken a back a bit.

					STACY
			Well...

     She seems to be stumped.

					STACY
			All right. I'll come.

										CUT TO:

     INT. SHAKE SHOP - AFTERNOON

     Reicther enters the empty shop. His boss, RYAN surfaces 
     from the ground at the sound of the entrance bell.

					RYAN
			Mr. Reicther.

					REICTHER
			Yes.

					RYAN
			Oh, good. Your mom called to make
			sure that you arrive alright.

     Reicther closes his eyes, annoyed.

					REICTHER
			I must thank her for that...

					RYAN
			Alright, come behind here and Iíll
			show you around.

     Reicther goes through the half door on the side of the 
     counter.

					RYAN (CONTíD)
			Iím Ryan.

					REICTHER
			Reicther.

     They shake hands.

					RYAN
			Whatís your first name?

     Reicther pauses.

					REICTHER
			Um, you everyone just calls me 
			Reicther.

					RYAN
			Oh, well what do your parents call 
			you?

					REICTHER
			Reicther.

					RYAN
			Okay.  Well, we have a very diverse
			menu, but a very simple way of making
			the shakes.

     Ryan points over to a bunch of taps coming out of what 
     looks like a large refrigerator.

					REICTHER
			Thatís it.

					RYAN
			Yeah.  Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry,
			Caramel, Mint, and our new favorite
			Chocolate Banana Mint.  We come up with
			a new favorite every couple of months
			and put it in there.  And if the
			customer wants something special just
			mix a bunch of them together, and
			theyíll never know.

     Ryan scratches at a nicotine patch on his arm and looks 
     at his watch.

					RYAN (CONTíD)
			You know, itís so cold that no one has
			been here all day, I need a smoke so
			can you just stand here, so no one
			robs it.

					REICTHER
			Okay.

					RYAN
			Thanks.

     Ryan leaves. Reicther is alone in the shop. Through the 
     window in the front of the shop Reicther sees a very 
     large WOMAN walk up to the shop and enter.

     She walks up to the counter.

					WOMAN
			Do you work here?

					REICTHER
				(looking for Ryan)
			Um...yes.

					WOMAN
			I have a coupon for a free low fat
			double fudge cinnamon nutmeg super
			milk shake.

     Reicther looks at the coupon, it has expired five months 
     ago.

					REICTHER
			Iím sorry, this is expired.

					WOMAN
			No one will know if you gave it to me.

					REICTHER
			But it expired.

					WOMAN
			Listen.  I came here with my Ďbring
			all the boys to the yardí milkshake
			coupon, and I want my shake!

					REICTHER
			Alright.  What kind do you want?

					WOMAN
			A low fat double fudge cinnamon nutmeg
			super milk shake.

     Reicther goes to the back and grabs a cup and looks for the 
     ingredients.

					REICTHER
				(to himself)
			Crap, weíre out of fudge.

     Reicther looks over to the angry woman over the top of the counter. 
     Reicther mixes a bunch of different flavors together and beings it 
     back out to the angry woman.

					REICTHER (CONTíD)
			Here you go.

					WOMAN
				(sniffs the milkshake)
			Thank you.

     The Woman walks out the door as Ryan comes back from his 
     smoke.

					RYAN
			Did you make a sale?

					REICTHER
				(thinking)
			Yeah.

					RYAN
			Well Mr. Reicther, I think you got the
			job.  Now come with me and weíll get
			you your costume.

     Ryan leads Reicther to the back. Reicther looks upset.

					REICTHER
			Great.

										CUT TO:

     (MUSIC MONTAGE: John Mayer's "Daughters" plays in the 
     background.)

     EXT. STREETS - AFTERNOON

     Will and Chris walk home after detention. There is a lot of 
     snow piled up everywhere, and they have trouble walking in 
     some places.

					WILL
			It was a bitch cleaning up that foam
			from the fire extinguisher.

					CHRIS
			Probably would have been easier if you
			didnít have a bitch over your shoulder
			the whole time.

     Behind a very tall snow pile they hear what sounds like 
     someone crying. Will and Chris walk over. It is Tom and he 
     is crying.

					WILL
			Tom! Is Jordan under there?

					TOM
			No. He broke up with me.

					WILL
			But the two of you were making dents
			in my locker like an hour ago.  What
			happened?

					TOM
			Iím a democrat.

					CHRIS
			Okay, does this normally come within
			the first five minutes of a
			conversation?

					TOM
			We went back to my locker to get my
			cell phone and he saw a John Kerry for
			President sticker on the door.

					CHRIS
			You still have a John Kerry sticker
			up?

					TOM
				(to Will)
			Anyway, after he saw it he started
			harassing me asking how I could
			support that flip-flopping, troop
			hating, New England, elite, liberal,
			communist, bastard.

					WILL
			How, who would have thought.

					TOM
			I know, you just cant tell.  Well,
			thanks for trying Will.
				(notices Chris)
			Hi, whatís your name.

					CHRIS
			Hey, I may be black and British, but
			Iím straight.

					TOM
			Okay, well see you later.

					WILL
			Bye.

     Will and Chris continue to walk home.

					CHRIS
			Is he ever going to find out that you
			knew about Jordan?

					WILL
			Well, I didnít. He may hate gays, but
			judging by the way he kissed Tom today,
			he is one.

					CHRIS
			I wonder how long he is going to
			struggle with it until he comes out.

					WILL
			Four more years.


     EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT

     A PINK CAR pulls up.

     EXT. APARTMENT COMPEX - MAINDOOR WAY - SECONDS LATER

     Stacy walks up to the door and hits one of the buzzer 
     buttons next to her. She seems to be nervous. She closes 
     her eyes and takes a deep breath.

					STACY
			I wonder if I'm suppose to use protection 
			if I have sex with her.

										FADE OUT:

     We hear a door open.

     (THE SONG FADES OUT.)

                           END OF EPISODE










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